A child in a foster family, a data bank of children. We are looking for our baby

10.10.2019

As it turns out, the Federal Databank of Children Without Parental Care is an impregnable fortress. There are only a few people who managed to get into it. And in general, it seems that the FBD is specially closed from all possible candidates for adoptive parents and guardians.

Any bank always has working hours: you can come to the branch from 9 to 18 hours, lunch from 14 to 15, something like that. There is nothing like this in FBD. There is only this.

This is a page on the site, adopt a point ru, where you can (if you're very lucky) make an appointment with this very FBD.

I do not know what is happening, but only I have a dozen living examples of people spending several weeks to sign up for this very FWB. And to no avail! A quick survey of adoptive parents on the Internet revealed only one woman who was really in this FWB, and with whom they fiddled for an hour and a half, which made an indelible impression on her.

All the others, no matter how they tried to sign up through this form, could not in any way.

What is the problem?

I think the main problem is that this system doesn't work. Well, it's simple: that's all it doesn't work. Either because it was done incorrectly, or because employees misuse it. Well, it can’t be that at 10:03 the record wasn’t MORE, and at 10:04 it wasn’t ALREADY. What, in one minute (or less) all slots were already occupied? I do not believe. Most likely, the software is just buggy, huh?

Caught in the care of the state, is currently not fully resolved. Although in recent years, thanks to the support of the state, there has been a positive trend in adoption, guardianship or placement of children in foster families, many more babies are expecting their parents in orphanages, boarding schools and orphanages. To help potential adoptive parents, a federal databank of orphans and children left without parental care was formed.

FBD function

The federal databank serves to accumulate and summarize information posted in the regional registration systems for children who need custody. In addition, it collects information about those who have registered on these resources. Its systematic update allows people who decide to take a baby to a family to search both in their area and in other regions.

In practice, it looks like this:

After the child receives the official status of "orphan", which is necessary for any actions related to adoption, information about him is sent to the district PLO (department of guardianship and trusteeship). Within 30 days from the time of receipt of the baby's personal file, the local PLO must take measures in order to find a family for the child. If this cannot be done, the information is sent to the regional structure of the guardianship authorities.
The territorial PLO places information about the child in the database of its region, and also searches for adoptive parents. After 30 days, if the search is unsuccessful, he must submit the information to the federal databank of orphans.

It is important to know that the transfer of data on the baby to higher authorities does not mean that the local guardianship authorities stop trying to find a foster family. Therefore, situations are not uncommon when potential guardians, or people who have chosen a baby for adoption, contacting the local OOP, find out that he has already found parents. In order to avoid such cases, parents who have already gone through the adoption procedure are advised to start the search exactly from local or territorial data banks at their place of residence (or in another region).

FBD replenishment

At the moment, information about orphans in the FWB is updated approximately twice a month. However, the information already posted in it is not updated systematically, as a result of which potential guardians may be misled about the current status of the child (can he be adopted, taken under guardianship or transferred to a foster family, and perhaps he has already found his adoptive parents ). The appearance and age of the child in the photo and in life can also differ significantly (since the photos are updated even less often).

Therefore, the Ministry of Education and Science has developed a draft order regulating the frequency of updating the information posted in the database.

The child's profile now displays the following:

first name and initial letter of the last name;
place of stay;
gender, age, anthropometric indicators;
a short description of character traits;
this is the only child or there are minor brothers and sisters;
reason for entering into the database;
the photo.

Perhaps, after the entry into force of the decree, the situation will change for the better. The Ministry proposes to post on the website information about the reasons for the loss of parental care, about the existence of blood relatives who visit the child in a child care institution and have a desire to take him to the family. In addition, it is planned to introduce an obligation to update the photos of babies, in accordance with their age, from 1 to 3 times a year.

What is required of adoptive parents

Before using the services of a database for finding a baby, future parents should collect a package of necessary documents, on the basis of which the PLO will make a decision on whether to authorize or refuse adoption.

These include:

a short autobiographical note;
information from the place of employment about the position of the guardian and his income for the last year (the same applies to the spouse participating in the adoption);
information about registration and / or documents on ownership of housing, a certificate from the management company about the absence of debts for utility bills;
a certificate from the Department of Internal Affairs stating that the potential guardian has no criminal record;
the conclusion of the medical board on the health of the adoptive parent;
marriage registration document (copy);
a copy of the certificate confirming that potential parents attended special psychological and pedagogical courses for adoptive parents;
certificate of a pensioner and an extract from the PF for adoptive parents, whose main source of income is pension payments.

The period of validity of the listed documents is 12 months from the date of issue (except for a medical certificate, which is valid for 6 months).

Sequence of actions for adoption

There is a certain procedure stipulated by the Family Code of the Russian Federation when registering guardianship, or transferring a child to a foster family.

1. Decision of the Adoption Commission

An appeal to the PLO at the place of registration with a request to consent to adoption can be submitted with a personal appeal to this institution, or with the help of the MFC or the State Services portal. In this case, all the necessary documents are attached to the application.

Within 7 working days from the time of receipt of the application, the employees of the PLO assess the housing conditions, analyze the motives for adoption, the personality quality of the applicant, his ability to take care of the child and other criteria that can influence the decision to grant the right of custody or adoption.

It is important to know that by submitting an application in electronic form, the applicant must subsequently submit to the OOP the originals of the documentation attached to it. Otherwise, their absence may become grounds for refusal to establish guardianship or adoption.

Based on the assessment made, the PLO, no later than 10 working days from the date of signing the inspection report, is issued an opinion on the approval (refusal) of adoption. In case of disagreement with the decision of the PLO, the applicant has the opportunity to appeal it legally.

2. Searching for a child for adoption

With a positive decision of the commission, within 3 days from the moment of its adoption, potential parents are entered into the list of persons eligible for adoption, and get access to information about the children who need it.

The PLO bodies issue a referral to a children's institution where the child chosen by the adoptive parents is currently staying. This direction operates throughout the month and assumes that other potential parents during this period will not communicate with the baby.

If the prospective adoptive parents have not been able to find the child in their regional database, they have the right to apply for the same purpose to the OOP of another constituent entity of the Russian Federation or to use the services of the FBD for orphans.

Using a centralized database empowers potential parents to find a child. After examining the information provided on the FBD website, guardians can make an online appointment for a visit to the federal operator for a more detailed acquaintance with the children's profiles. It is important to know that the personal presence of candidates for adoptive parents is required to study the questionnaires. In addition, you will need to present documents confirming this right (passport and decision on approval of adoption).

In the process of adoption, prospective parents acquire the rights and obligations provided for by the legislation of the Russian Federation.

The rights of the adoptive parents:

obtaining comprehensive information about the baby (his real parents, the circumstances preceding the receipt of the status of an orphan, existing relatives, burdened heredity, etc.);
implementation of an independent medical examination of the adopted child (with the participation of the educator / teacher of the child care institution).

Responsibilities of adoptive parents:

meet and establish communication with the baby;
carefully study the documents;
in writing, confirm the fact that they are familiar with the conclusion of the medical board regarding the health of the adoptee.

Having made an informed decision on establishing guardianship or adoption, the parents-to-be move on to the last stage.

3. Delivery of a judgment

In order to recognize the adoption of a certain child as legal, prospective parents must apply with the appropriate request to the district department of the court at the place of stay of the baby.

In order to reach a verdict, the judicial authorities need to obtain from the local PLO documents confirming that the adoption is taking place on the basis of taking into account the interests and rights of the adopted child. As a result, a verdict is issued on the recognition of the fact of adoption, which leads to the entry into force of the rights and obligations of the participants in the process in relation to each other.

After that, the parents personally pick up the child from the childcare facility (upon presentation of a passport and a court decision) in order to escort him to a new place of residence. For 3 years from the moment the court made the decision on adoption, PLOs are obliged to monitor the living conditions and upbringing of the adopted child.

Summing up

The decision to take a child into the family is a very serious and responsible step that requires utmost honesty in assessing one's strengths and capabilities. And first of all, this concerns not the material, but the moral costs of raising a baby, regardless of whether he is native or adopted. The adoption procedure itself, with its bureaucratic obstacles, PLO control, and the problem of choosing “one's own” child, is a difficult psychological test. But if there is no doubt about the correctness of your decision, if there is a willingness to go through all the tests to the end, then there will be one more happy baby in the world.

The search and selection of a child is one of the most important and difficult stages in carrying out adoption activities. Many people who decide to admit a baby to their family are building in their head the procedure for finding a child as a simple activity, when the child is brought home by employees of state structures according to the necessary characteristics. In reality, this is not at all the case. Most often, the child needs to be looked for for a long time.

The most important thing in the adoption process is the desire to become a real parent to the baby.

Before starting the procedure, you need to study the legal framework and practice in order to know where the adoptive parent should go and how to behave.

The procedure itself requires a lot of time, effort and energy. It is not necessary to present numerous requirements and wishes about the prospective baby. It may take more than one year to pick up a blonde girl, with blue eyes, at the age of three, without health problems.

The most important thing in the process of adoption is the desire to become a real parent to the baby, and what this baby will be like, you will find out in the process of choosing, you will understand this with your heart when you meet your baby. It should be understood that in reality very few children who were left without parental support and upbringing have perfect health.

Search methods

You can find a baby for adoption in different ways:

Through communication with familiar people who are employees of the relevant competent authorities. They can advise and provide all the information about the baby that meets all your wishes.
The child of your friends or neighbors ended up in the orphanage as a result of a variety of circumstances.
Accidentally met a baby at a shelter at a holiday or charity event.
You are constantly in contact with children's institutions where orphans live, due to work or other circumstances, and you know about all the children.

Adoption is a painstaking job

But in the overwhelming majority of cases, adoption is painstaking work, inquiries, visits to institutions, familiarization with information about children. This can go on for more than one month until you find the very baby who will become a full-fledged part of your family.

Part 1 of Article 124 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation: "Adoption or adoption is a priority form of placing children without parental care."

It should be understood that adoption is not only your business, it is the task of the state and specialized state institutions work to fulfill it, and you can count on support and assistance. Every year, the methods of finding babies are being improved, new systems are being introduced to carry out the selection of children. The unified data bank of children left without parental care is becoming more perfect and of better quality.

The Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation is implementing an Internet project - "Adopt in Russia", where you can get access to a constantly updated database of orphans, get all the information of interest and advice from specialists. The activities of many non-governmental organizations, foundations and projects today can help find a baby.

Database

The Russian Federation has a system for collecting, storing and systematizing data on children left without parental care, care and upbringing. It is called the Children's Data Bank. It is she who is the source from where all the data is provided to the candidates for adoption who made the corresponding request in order to find the baby.

There is a special database of children to be adopted

The formation of the Bank begins at the level of districts of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation. When a child appears who needs to be assigned to a new family, in the territory entrusted to them, the guardianship authorities fill in all the available data about him in a special questionnaire. It contains photographs, personal data, medical indications, known information about the parents, information about why the baby was in such a situation. During the first thirty days, all data about the baby remain with the subordinate guardian body, which takes measures to arrange it.

After the expiration of the thirty-day period, if the baby has not been properly arranged, his case is sent to a higher authority of regional significance. Here, the data is entered into the regional Databank. This institute is in the competence of the regional institution of education management and manages all information and provides data on incoming requests.

The operator and other competent structures in charge of this issue are trying by all legal means in the interests of the baby to determine him in full-fledged conditions. To achieve this goal, the following measures are taken:

information about babies is printed in regional print media, special social videos are created in other media (newspapers, television, radio, websites, etc.);
all kinds of social events and actions are held.

If, after thirty days, it is not possible to arrange the baby at the level of the subject, the package of his documentation is transferred to the operator of federal significance.

It is worth considering the fact that data on children arrives at databases with delays.

Data on children in specialized banks are updated quite rarely. This should be taken into account when searching. Thus, information about children under the age of one is updated once a year, and for babies over one year old, the update is made once every three years. It is worth considering the fact that data about children is received by the databases with delays. Information about children in databases is often not true. This applies to the presence of diseases and other features.

The presence of a multi-level system for storing and presenting data about children who need to be accommodated in a new family makes it possible to maximize the possibilities to favorably resolve the situation for a larger number of babies. The transfer of data to a higher-level authority does not imply the termination of the activities of local guardianship authorities for the placement of a child, work continues at all levels.

Where to go

Based on the structure of receiving, storing and providing information about babies, it is best to initially contact your local authority. There is a high probability of finding a child that meets your requirements and wishes. Healthy children are more readily and quickly assigned to new families. In most cases, data from children with diseases, disabilities and other problems are transferred to a higher level. There are exceptions, but this is how it happens in practice.

In our country, it is not uncommon for a person to want to adopt in an area where there are no such specialized institutions. Here the question - where to go to the adoptive parent, is quite acute. In this case, it is worth contacting the authorities of regional or central importance.

More willingly and faster to identify healthy children in new families

It is worth resorting to the services of an operator in another region or central authority in situations where the candidate did not have working effective relationships with local employees of the guardian instance, and their approach to resolving the issue was not satisfied. What should be done if there is a desire to avoid or reduce the likelihood of a possible meeting in the future with the parents and relatives of the baby.

A citizen of the Russian Federation who has received the relevant documents that allow him to be an adoptive parent has complete freedom to choose which authority he should apply to when looking for a child. If the candidate is looking for a specific child, his personal data and other information are known, it is necessary to make a request to the federal operator, as well as send an application in the region where the baby is supposed to be.

Searching for a child through the Databank

Contacting the operator of the Databank implies:

Execution of an application, with a request to provide data on children that meet the characteristics that are indicated.
Filling out a special questionnaire. This paper is needed to enter the data of the candidate for adoptive parents in a special database.

After providing such information, the competent employee is obliged to provide the data at his disposal that meet the parameters of the request. The presence of automated systems allows you to provide information about children on the day of treatment. In case of technical or other complications, the data must be provided no later than ten days from the date of application.

If at the moment there are no suitable children, the candidate leaves all the necessary data. As soon as a suitable child appears, the potential adoptive parent is notified. In accordance with legislative norms, the candidate for adoptive parents is obliged to inform on a monthly basis about the state of affairs, the appearance of new children or the absence of such.

If the initiator of the adoption has found a suitable baby among the candidates provided, he will be issued a referral to visit a social, educational, medical institution where this baby is located. The child visitation document can be issued to only one candidate at a specific time, in order to avoid two applicants visiting one child at the same time.

When visiting the institution, the initiator is required to provide a personal file, a medical card, all other available information. Employees should talk about the character, developmental characteristics, and the life of the baby. If, after visiting and getting to know the baby, you think that he is not suitable for you, you must fill out the appropriate paper on the results of the visit for the Bank operator, and submit a new application so that data on other children are provided.

The law does not limit the number of possible applications and issued permits to visit, the initiator of the baby's device has the right to continue searching until a suitable boy or girl is found.

The selection of a candidate may be suspended if, after the candidate has been informed (monthly mandatory notification) of the availability of children, but has not read the data on children. After repeated notification (after a month), if there is no reaction from the initiator, the search is terminated. In order to resume selection, the potential adoptive parent must again apply to the Data Bank with an application and provide the required documentation.

Contacting the custodial authority at the place of residence is another way to find a child for adoption

Other ways to search

Another way to search is to contact the guardianship authority at the place of residence with a request to assist in the selection of the baby. After submitting the relevant application and providing all the necessary data, the specialists of the guardianship authority will make appropriate inquiries to the regional and federal databases. After receiving the questionnaires for suitable children, the candidate for adoptive parents will be informed about this and called for review and selection.

But it should be understood that this method is much longer in time. Every person planning to adopt should know that the conclusion on the right to be an adoptive parent and other documents are valid for twelve months, and the conclusion on medical indications is only ninety days. When the selection of a candidate is delayed, there will be a need to update papers and certificates.

In addition to contacting database operators, it is not prohibited to carry out searches through institutions whose competence includes the maintenance and upbringing of children who find themselves in a situation of absence of the care of relatives and friends.

Most of these institutions are under the jurisdiction of the executive branch that regulates education. These include:

Preschool orphanages. Children stay here after being discharged from the baby's home and up to the age of 7 years.
Orphanages or boarding schools. Children who have reached school age are determined here. They attend a nearby comprehensive school. In the boarding school, children study directly in the institution, where all the necessary conditions for education are created.
Specialized and correctional educational and educational institutions. Children with medical, mental and social disabilities and difficulties live and study here.
Institutions that provide medical services for children who are deprived of parental education and care. These institutions include baby homes and maternity centers.

It is necessary to carefully study the data on the previous life of the baby.

When visiting a particular baby, it is very important to carefully consider the study of information about him, its verification. Very often, many diseases and abnormalities are not noted in the documents, in fact, the child does not have the noted disease, the data on the nature and characteristics of behavior do not correspond to reality.

It is recommended to conduct an additional medical examination, to clarify the marked data with specialists, to find close contact with the baby himself and his supervising employee. It is recommended to double-check the information from the staff of the institution, since the presentation of data usually has a specific purpose.

It is worth very carefully studying the data on the baby's previous life, where he stayed before the meeting, what is known about his parents and relatives. All this can provide answers to many questions about the condition of the baby at the time of the visit.

Before adoption, when determining the desired age and other requirements, it is worthwhile to thoroughly assess your capabilities. A prerequisite for admitting a baby to a family is knowledge and skills in education, cohabitation, and building full-fledged family relationships. It is worth taking specialized courses and training, because even if you have parenting experience, foster children always have their own specifics, difficulties and peculiarities.

The stories of adoptive parents usually begin with the phrase: "And then we saw our sun ..." And most people do not like to talk about what preceded the meeting with the baby. The search for "their" baby is a psychologically very difficult process, and it just hurts many to remember or talk about him. However, it makes sense for potential adoptive parents to prepare for possible problems in advance. Although it is not so easy to do this.

When my husband and I talked about the desire to adopt a child, he told me one phrase: "I like everything about this idea. But choosing a child like in the market is scary." I must say, I ignored his words. Like, what can you do? This is inevitable, this is how this system works. However, in reality it turned out that it would be better to prepare for a meeting with this system, to understand how it works and what psychological traps one can fall into.

A little about the system

I will try to explain "on my fingers" how the system works, which contains information about orphans.

In order for the baby to be placed in a family, he must receive an orphan status. If the parents have abandoned the baby officially, he can be adopted, taken under guardianship or in a foster family. However, many children do not have status, since legally they still have a connection with their blood parents. For example, a biomat is in places of deprivation of liberty, and it is impossible to deprive her of her rights, even if she had not visited the child in the orphanage before and was not interested in his fate. Or the child's parents have just been deprived of their rights, and the term has not yet expired, during which they can appeal the court decision, "change their mind." In these and other cases, the baby can be taken under guardianship or in a foster family.

When a baby receives the status "to be placed in a family", he has his own personal file and is assigned to the district care of the institution where he was placed, ie. orphanage or child's home. Within a month, the district guardianship should try to arrange the child in the family, and if it failed, transfer information about him to the regional data bank (for example, from the guardianship of a district in a city near Moscow to the bank of the Moscow Region region). If this operator does not find new parents within a month, he is obliged to transfer the information to the Federal data bank www.usynovite.ru

Important! The transfer of data about a child to a parent organization does not mean that the district guardianship or the regional bank ceases to take care of his placement in the family. It is also important: a regional or federal databank has the right to issue you a referral for visiting a child, but he will still coordinate this issue with the district guardianship: what if someone has already started visiting the child by contacting the district directly? What if the biomat decided to restore its rights? Follow-up calls to custody in this situation protect both the adoptive parent and the child from severe stressful situations.

Databanks

The function of regional and federal banks is clear: to collect information about children in one place. However, in practice, information and its updating are delayed. As a result, large banks may not know that, for example, a child has already received a status for adoption - and they still list him as subject only to custody and guardianship. So, if you look at the adoption profiles of children, you may be missing out on some of the babies. Or that the child is visited by potential parents - people who establish contact with the baby, but have not yet signed the consent. The children's database is not updated daily, but once a week or less often, depending on the region.

What happens to a potential adoptive parent in this situation?

First, finding a child is a psychological test in itself. Many still in the process of collecting documents look through regional or federal databases and are already mentally attached to a specific child from a photograph. And this is understandable: the decision was made quite difficult, the procedure drags on, it is natural for a person to worry and do at least something that will bring him closer to the future baby. However, by the time potential parents have a package of documents, the baby may already be placed in a family. This is serious stress.

You can avoid it only if you force yourself to distract yourself from a particular child by willful effort: do not look through the database, do not draw this particular baby for yourself in your life, do not return time after time to a photo in the newspaper from the "Looking for Mom and Dad" section. Many adoptive parents have gone through the experience of disappointment "someone else took the child" - at these moments it is worth remembering that it is your baby who will certainly wait for you. The adoptive parents are familiar with mystical stories, when a variety of children were taken from the child's home, and some absolutely wonderful, practically healthy child could not wait for his mother for a long time, although objectively there was no logic in this. Or someone fought with officials for a long time, rushed the paperwork, received delays, which is called "out of the blue," and then found a baby whose adoption status appeared exactly when the mother had all the papers ready - and get it she had them before, they would not have met. Apparently, adopted children, like relatives, do not appear in our life by chance, and fate disposes of us correctly.

Secondly, many of those who applied to regional databanks simply cannot understand where the children are. On TV, they show wonderful kids, they print cute faces in the newspapers, and in the bank (sorry for the cynicism) seriously ill children or children from large families that you are not ready to adopt. There are rumors that officials are "holding" children in the interests of foreign adoptive parents, but this is not the case. It's just that because of the red tape about many children, information is not updated, it's just that on the ground, good specialists from caregivers arrange the kids in families on their own, it's just that quite often data on the health of a child is given in the form of dry facts, without correcting for the fact that a child who has experienced simply cannot develop normally - therefore, the list of diagnoses can be scarier than the real picture.

Communication with officials

It's unpleasant to write about it, but you can't hide an sewn in a sack. Far from all instances, adoptive parents are welcomed with open arms. It also happens that you come to the data bank and find yourself in a strange atmosphere: as if you came to ask the state for a million dollars for personal needs. They are extremely dismissive, they ask questions outside the framework of their own competence. In this situation, it makes sense to remember your rights: you have your passport and the conclusion of the district guardianship that you can be a candidate for adoptive parents - that's enough. Your personality, details of your personal life, motives for adoption, etc. the operator does not concern. You have every right not to answer personal questions. And what certainly should not be done is to feel guilty, and this often happens to those who adopt a child because they cannot have children of their own, and at the same time, more than once in the process of collecting documents, he was forced to speak with officials of all kinds instances. I once had to hold the hands of an elderly couple and tell them: "Guys, you are completely normal, remember this. The desire to raise a child is the most important thing."

In some regional centers, you need to queue up to view the database: that is, you first come to the appointment, your documents are meticulously examined, and only after that they set a date when you will be allowed to view the database for children. Moreover, the viewing time is limited by the conditions of the operator, and not by your desire and capabilities. You also need to be ready for this and experience the moment when the search for a child turns into a computer game for attention and speed.

Obviously, the performance of officials is measured by the number of displayed questionnaires. Therefore, the database does not allow, for example, excluding children with severe disabilities from viewing the questionnaire, etc. - all this together with the photos you will see and say "next", "next, please". Because of this, a visit to a regional center turns into a situation where you can imagine how many children with disabilities there are in this region, and you will see it in their faces. You also need to be prepared for this - the test is not for the faint of heart. Just give yourself an installation and immediately present it to the operator: he will quickly close the questionnaires that are not of interest to you, and you will say to yourself: this is not my child, I am looking for my child. How then to forget that there are hundreds of children who are unlikely to find a family - I do not know. But when you find your baby, when you build a life with him, the acute sensation of this horror will gradually dissipate.

People with a heightened linguistic instinct need to be prepared for local slang that can hurt them. Often sick children, whose questionnaires will still show you "to the heap" can be called scornfully, the process of finding a child is called "selection". "Who's next to pick up here? Did you sign up for picking?" If possible, turn a deaf ear - you have learned to ignore the wonderful slang of domestic gynecologists from the series: "How old do you live?"

Perhaps this is it!

At the regional operator or in the district guardianship, candidates for adoptive parents are required to acquaint with the data on children that meet its requirements. We can say this about the requirements: the softer they are, the more chances you have to find a baby. However, you have the right to look for a child exactly the way you want - everyone has their own path: one person says "anyone who is more or less healthy up to five years old", the other - "only a fair-haired boy up to six months." But everyone eventually finds their children. This is the main thing, and there is no point in thinking about whether I am formulating correctly.

So, you should be provided with as much information as possible about the children that interest you. In regional banks, it is more scarce, since it is sent in the form of a dry form, which reflects the basic facts of the child's biography and conclusions about the state of health. In the guardianship, many children are known personally, they keep in touch with the orphanage or the orphanage, they can make a call in front of you and ask any question to the management of the orphanage - this is important.

A quite reasonable question arises: how to communicate with those who have information about children? What to ask about? What to look for?

Age and gender. It all depends on your desire. Giving recommendations from the outside is a completely pointless exercise. It is believed that an adopted child should not be older than his own, if one already exists. However, there are examples of successful adoption even in spite of this rule.
Information about the status and bio-family. In guardianship, these questions are answered very clearly. How did the child get the status for adoption? Will there be obstacles from other blood relatives (for example, a biological grandmother may not be able to take the child into care, but goes to visit him at the child's home)? Simply put, can you have problems in court.
The state of health of the child. This is the most subtle moment. Perhaps there is not a single child who would be perfectly healthy. All children have a mental and physical retardation - and this is completely normal. The question is, what caused this delay? Try to find out the history of the child's life and development. For example, it is completely natural that a baby who is in poor health develops poorly intellectually - he is constantly in an isolation ward, he does not even see the staff and other children, not to mention the fact that no one pays attention to him, as is the case in family. Naturally, he will lag very, very much. In general, "developmental delay" is not a reason to abandon this particular child. Many successful adoptive parents know how many diagnoses simply "evaporated" as soon as the baby settles at home. At the same time, in children's homes, of course, there are many children who have really gross pathologies that cannot be completely and completely cured.

Roughly speaking, if the child's status is all right and there is no disability, you still have to look at him with your own eyes and, excuse the pathos, make a conclusion for yourself: do you believe in him and in yourself or not. Because a child in a children's institution is so depressed, the life of a little man is so unnatural, so contrary to what is really needed for the development of his personality, that a failure in development is the norm, and it is almost impossible to understand how the baby will develop in the future. Only one thing is true: better than in a state institution.

The moment you decide whether to take a referral to meet your baby, you are at the mercy of strong emotions. Firstly, you are very sorry for this baby - each of the orphans has a difficult life story, everyone wants to give love and warmth, in front of everyone we feel a little guilty simply because we are big, and everything is not so right with us. bad, but they are small, and they have no one and nothing. However, remember that ecstatic feelings alone will not help you make the right decision. So be prepared to pause ahead of time. Got information about one or more children - take time out for a day to digest it in your head and decide: to take or not to take a direction. Get Directions - Take time out to go and meet your child at ease.

If you decide, you will be given a referral to visit your child. Usually it is valid for a month, at the end of which you must make a decision and inform the guardianship. At this time, other adoptive parents who wish to meet with the child will not be allowed.

Discussion

To the author of the article "respect and respect". Thank God we have already found our children. We are from Moscow, we found children in Rostov-on-Don. Everything that the author described is complete and unconditional truth. It seems that all the officials are working under the caper. I would add that the guardianship staff and the regional operator in Moscow, and in the Moscow region, constantly told us: "You will not find normal children in Moscow. Try your luck in Siberia or the Far East. In Moscow, there were only either very sick or “black people.” Hmm, Fascism with Russian nationalism in Russia is not a myth, but a reality, even in such matters as adoption and guardianship, they try to emphasize that Russia is for balobrasy Russians, and all the rest .... "black" and "yellow" let them disappear. And, by the way, we found our children with "southern" blood, not through the fucking APIRATOR, but on the Internet, on the official website. Good luck to everyone, patience and again patience, and everything will be fine.
Yours faithfully,
Anatoly.

And everyone decides for himself what he can and what not ...
In my opinion, the author just wanted to convey the emotions of regret, a person who cannot take a disabled person, and therefore scrolls further faster ...

And about a pension of 3,000, that was a topic on TV with a deputy on social issues, I was surprised by the comparison of 20,000 and 3,000, the mother of a child prone to suicide was indignant, whom she could not leave alone at home to go to work, and on a professional a nurse, did not earn money and the mother had to send the child to a boarding school, so that there would be an opportunity to earn money for gifts, no one from the studio dared to condemn her. There was one question, would they give my mother a pension of 20,000 rubles, she didn't have to send her child to a boarding school ...

The deputy was able to comment only in this way: "It turns out that if a child is left at home, then the parents have the opportunity to raise him."

I do not see any categoricalness! There are no statements in the article: "Do not do this" Do not do that ", there are no short sentences, there is a short description of emotions and actions. Not in the first person, because the person helped other parents, whose experiences were also used.

Personally, as a person who has not yet established himself in the decision to accept someone else's child, I am interested in any information.

The place where it is described about disabled children, and what else can you experience besides pain and regret that you cannot help?
I will give an example, as a fact, an amount of 20,000 rubles is allocated for a disabled person in an institution, and a child in a family will receive a pension of 3,000 rubles - who can handle it? To take care of a disabled child, you need not work and provide constant care! You cannot take him to the kindergarten! you won't leave home alone!

The statement raises some doubts:
>, but in fact it agrees ?! I have not noticed. I noticed something else - custody and DR do not "like" reg. and fed. operators, they are paid in return.
> What is true that they do not hold ?! Where such confidence?
Otherwise, the article is positive. IMHO. It would only be possible to expand it, add moments of examples from the adoption (guardianship) of successful without delay and not successful with rudeness and with "kicking" the authorities.

Good article: efficient and timely. It was written in order to morally support the adoptive parents and instill hope that everyone will find their child. It did not seem to me that the author claims to be a lawyer, does not express himself categorically, just draws attention to some points. The main thing that sets you up for a constructive approach. And if a person is confident in his righteousness, it is easier for him to behave with dignity and calmly delve into the legal subtleties he can independently. Thanks to the author!

It is a good idea to familiarize yourself with the laws before writing legal advice articles. The direction is really not a month, but 10 days. For example, for newborns who are taken because they simulate pregnancy, a month for one of the candidates is too much. Other statements by the author are subjective and questionable. It would be better to rewrite it - to change everything "you see" to "I saw", and as a sample of personal experience and personal perception it could still be tolerant.