What unites a good husband and a good father? That's right - a good person. To be good not for someone, but for real and always. Such a man will surely be both a good son and a good friend. This is the foundation of the house called "living together." But relationships need to be built and it is not always possible to make a neat and solid masonry on your “goodness”, you need to make skills and efforts, develop abilities and skills.

We need to build relationships every day. Invest in a common cauldron and monitor the strength of the union.

And in case of instability of the "house of relations" to make repairs, cladding, cover up cracks and build new walls.

We will not talk now about the recruitment of a wealthy man - a car, an apartment, a summer house and bank accounts. Far from always a “charged” representative of the stronger sex becomes a good husband and father, but more often, just the opposite. Of course, it's better to laugh in your own villa than in a hostel, but that's not about that now.

It would seem that a good husband is, first of all, one who shows a good attitude towards his wife. A good father is for children. But not everything is so obvious. If a man completely pleases his wife, but does not pay enough attention to children, then for a woman he will not be a good husband. It's the same with children. Through the love shown to their mother, they will appreciate their father more. Do you want to please a woman? Please her children first.

There is no good husband and, at the same time, a bad father. Somewhere is obviously a lie. Either he is good both there and there, or he plays good in one part, not bothering to put on a mask in another.

Here are 12 steps to being a good father and husband:

Realize

A man must realize that good fathers and husbands are not born. And just because he is a good guy for friends does not immediately make him good for a woman and children.

Understanding the importance of the process of building relationships is an important point. Understanding that the temple of love does not appear just like that, but it needs to be built, and to do this all the time. These are not flowers brought once a year, but an everyday contribution to relationships. Realize that sometimes you have to neglect your desires and the opinions of others:

• Go to the store in the rain because the pregnant wife wanted ice cream.
• Get up early in the morning to make breakfast for your son.
• Do not go to football with friends to go to school for a daughter's performance.

If a man realizes that for the title of “good husband” and “good father” you need to do things, and not live according to the principle of “love me for who I am and appreciate what you have,” then a start will be made.

want

Without it, nowhere.

A man must want to build a "house of the family." Not “under duress” to be good, but to want to be one.

To enjoy the fact that he is just like that, and not like many of his friends.

• He will not just go to his daughter's performance at school, instead of going to football with friends, but will want to spend this day that way.
• He will run for ice cream not because his pregnant wife got her tantrums, but he wants to pamper her and her smile and shining eyes will be very important to him.

Without his desire, by itself, nothing will work.

understand what he must

They say that only a boy owes nothing to anyone, but a man owes. And this is the truth. But he should not regular actions, but the result of these actions.

• He shouldn't bring flowers to his wife every Friday, and roller-skate with his son on Saturdays. But he must want to please them, pamper them and do everything so that they are truly happy with him.
• A man shouldn't earn a lot of money He must provide for the family.
• He shouldn't promise to bring his wife into the light, He must keep promises.
• He shouldn't fix the wiring and should take on obligations and responsibilities.

Don't expect anything in return

Relationships are not barter. There is no such thing: I am for you, and you are for me.

All members of the family should equally want to give. Not in return, but just like that.

A man doesn't need to keep a list of his good deeds. As they say, he did good - and throw him into the water. When you give, you get more.

• I gave the evening to my son instead of sleep. Got his happy eyes and gentle "I have the best dad in the world."
• I gave my wife an evening conversation instead of reading a newspaper - I received a friend and protector in the person of my wife.

Act

Each man himself will understand how to act and what is needed for this. We will not go into trifles, for example, give flowers, buy "sweets" and new toys.

Love is not words. Love is action.

It’s great if gentle words still go to action from a pure heart.

But you should never pay off your family members. This is not an act, this is a cheap bribe.

Become an example

As one song says: "To be not just a father, but to become an example."

A man should, by his example, show children how to treat a woman (their mother), friends, troubles, etc.

No need to educate your son by giving him endless lectures about the dangers of nicotine, but

become a wall

A man is a support, protection, help and support. Wife and children should feel like behind a stone wall. Husband / dad will come and destroy everything. The right wife and children will not hang petty questions on the head of the family and deliberately rowdy. They will know that in case of “if”, there is someone to stand up for them.

To become successful

A woman loves winners. She should be proud of her husband and rejoice in her soul that he chose her.

Be true

Loyalty is above all for a woman. And if a man will do everything, but sometimes curl up with his secretary, then he will be a complete zero, if not a minus.

Be a friend

A man should become a true friend to his wife and children. Not a tyrant, ruler of the seas and oceans, not a king and God, but a friend.

Combine statuses

For a child a father should be a friend, a mentor, a helper and the best dad in the world.

For men who are lucky enough to raise a daughter, the question often arises of how to properly raise her. It is clear that girls and boys are different. But there are so many myths and gender prejudices around this that it is not easy for parents and especially dads of daughters to deal with this. Usually fathers are well aware of how to become a good father to their son, but with girls they have difficulty.

Nevertheless, all psychologists unanimously declare that the role of dad in the life of every girl can hardly be overestimated. In many ways, her self-esteem and self-confidence will depend on his attitude and manner of communicating with her. It is the image of the father, which will remain in the subconscious of the girl, that will influence her choice of a partner in adulthood.

Many dads get lost from such responsibility, preferring to step aside so as not to make mistakes. Girls need a dad who will allow them to become an important part of his life, who will show them this world from a completely different side, who will be there and will be a support and guide for her.

Do you want to learn how to become such a dad for your daughter? Practicing psychologist and author of popular books on parenting Nigel Latta in his book “Daughter Studies. Fathers raising daughters” says it won't always be easy. However, he gives three simple tips to all fathers of daughters, which he considers extremely necessary and which will help them in a variety of situations throughout their lives.

How to be a cool dad

Let her into your life

To make a girl feel special, you have to let her into your life. She will love you, even if you yourself do not have special feelings for her, but such love is invariably accompanied by a slight sadness, a subtle feeling that she never really knew you. But if you let her in, she will know you from the inside. It's easy to do, because I'm talking literally. Take her to work from time to time. If you work in an office, let her ride elevators and spin around in your chair. If you drive a truck, have her sometimes ride with you in the cab. If you work in a warehouse, have her come in and ride a forklift or scooter between racks. (Of course, you have to be careful not to get caught by the safety officers.) Whatever you do, she will be sure that it is amazing.

If you are a musician, invite her to a concert of your band or orchestra. Whether you're a hunter, fisherman or tramp boater, take it with you on your travels. Dress her up with boots, a wool sweater, gloves, and a scarf and watch the sunrise along the river or in the mountains together.

She will remember those days forever. Let her watch you make furniture in the garage. Let him pass the wrenches to you when you fix the car. Whatever you do, take it with you and show what you yourself have a passion for.

Invite her to chat over a cup of coffee, treat her with fish and chips, and don't forget to talk. Take it with you when you go out for a newspaper on a Sunday morning. Spend as many vacations with her as time and money allow. She will always remember all this.

Whatever you do, wherever you go, invite her with you as often as possible.

Come into her world

Like I said, you don't have to spend your whole life having puppet tea parties with her, but you should do it once in a while. (You'll be surprised how much fun this can be. Of course, I'm only guessing, since I've never done anything like this, but it's still possible.) When she gets older, find something that you can do together, and at least what She must choose one of these occupations. If she's into sports or music, it's easy, because you can be the dad who always cheers for her in the stands or who comes to her every concert. Whatever she is interested in, try to be interested in it. It's an obvious thing, but a lot of parents find things to be more important than attending their daughter's football game.

None of us is perfect, we are all connected by our life and work. Yesterday I missed my youngest son's last football game of the season because I had to write this book. They lost 2-1, the game was very tight, as both teams did not lose a single match during the season. However, I know that when I get old, I will feel guilty not for not finishing the book on time, but for skipping his game.

Your daughter will grow up, her interests will change, and you must change with them. You will have to take it in the mornings for shopping and suffer in shoe stores. There is no choice, and it must be done. But then you can go with her to a cafe, drink coffee and discuss what is happening in her world.

Isn't that worth a few goddamn shoe stores?

Details matter

If you think about it, the brightest moments of our lives are associated with the simplest things. Like the memory of her laughing at a clown when she was four, or a day out fishing with a buddy, or when your own dad said something to you that made you feel like the biggest baby on Earth. She will be exactly the same, because we tend to remember the details. Joke with her, hug her as often as possible, sing stupid songs, leave notes about how proud you are of her - in general, everything you can think of. Don't do it all the time or you'll drive her crazy, but try to create magical moments all her life. They will touch her even at thirty-five, as they admired her at five.

What is it to be a father? The rules for raising a child by a father are changing along with the development of society and a change in ideas about traditional family values. By using the positive tips below, a father can help his children become more confident and self-esteem. He will learn how to deal with children, help them and be truly loving.

Families can be very different these days. Many raise a child alone, some couples choose not to marry, some live with older generations. Over the past decades, the public perception of the norm has changed, the number of working women has increased, the number of divorces and remarriages has increased. All this affects maternal and paternal roles.

The communication of a modern father with a child is very different from what it was decades ago. Fathers have more opportunities and a different approach to how to fulfill their role. Modern man no longer automatically relies on his own childhood impressions. He understands that the behavior of his own father will no longer be appropriate in our realities. Research has shown that understanding and kind fathers produce children with higher self-esteem. They achieve more in life, they are more popular with others and adapt well. A loving father guarantees excellent support without imposing his will. So, how do you achieve a good father-child relationship? Try one of these tips!

Spend time with your child

When a father spends time with his child, he can demonstrate his values ​​to him. Kids grow up fast, you won't get a better time to bond. There are many great ways to have fun with kids.

Raise with love and positive attitude

All children need a positive approach and discipline, not punishment. You just need to learn to set reasonable boundaries. Fathers should remind children of the consequences of their actions and demonstrate the desired behavior in a positive way. A father who knows how to communicate calmly and judiciously demonstrates love for his children perfectly.

Be a role model for your child

It doesn't matter if the child himself understands it, his father's behavior always serves as a model for him. A girl who spends time with a loving dad grows up knowing how she should be treated. She expects respect from guys and knows what to look for in a partner. Fathers teach important things to both boys and girls, demonstrating honesty, modesty, and responsible attitude.

Earn your right to attention

Fathers should start discussing important things with their children from a very early age. In this case, the most difficult questions that will appear over the years will be easier to solve. Take time to listen to your child's ideas and concerns.

Be your child's mentor

To be a good father, you should teach your children what is right and what is wrong. Reward their good behavior. Make sure your child makes the right choice. A father who is interested in education daily shows the children the right examples that allow them to learn the basics of life.

Eat together

An important part of a happy family life is having dinner together. This gives children the opportunity to talk to their parents about what they are doing and what they plan to do. This is a good moment for the father to listen to the children and show his attention. This creates the basis for family communication.

Read aloud to your child

In the modern world, people are surrounded by television and the Internet. It is important to take conscious steps to ensure that a child enjoys reading. To do this, you need to read aloud to him. Start reading from an early age, and then teach your child to read on their own. Instilling a love of reading is the best way to ensure your child's personal and career growth in the future.

Respect your child's mother

Parents who respect each other and demonstrate this to their children create an atmosphere of safety. When children know that their parents respect each other, it is easier for them to feel that they, too, are accepted and respected.

Start acting as early as possible

Show interest in the child even before he is born. Try to understand your role as a father during the pregnancy or adoption process. Start touching, holding, playing and talking to your baby from the first days. When a father is busy raising a baby, he clearly shows him that he is interested in him and that this relationship is of great importance to him.

Final Conclusion

Few events can change a man's life as much as the birth of a child. Responsibility for another person is a serious task that brings many happy moments. There is nothing more beautiful than watching a child grow and become an adult. If you use the tips above, you can learn how to parent and be a great father, understanding and loving.

In terms of the amount of attention paid to children, fathers who are engaged in business differ little from just a lot of working fathers, and these are now the majority. How to compensate for the lack of time to communicate with children? What mistakes in education are most often made by people who have achieved a lot? Is it possible to grow an entrepreneur out of a child and when should one start?

Feelings of guilt or the joy of fatherhood?

Entrepreneurs with whom I have discussed family relationships, often admitted that they consider themselves bad fathers. On weekdays they come home too late and are too tired. They have neither the strength nor the time to pay enough attention to children. On weekends, they are also not always free - it happens that important “unofficial” negotiations are scheduled for the end of the week or you need to prepare for an upcoming business meeting. Not surprisingly, such fathers always feel guilty, and their wives are tempted to manipulate this feeling.

In the short term, attempts at manipulation using reproaches about poor parenting can bring the desired result. But after a while, this trick will stop working: seeing the need to choose between home and work, the entrepreneur will very likely choose work. And not because he is a callous and soulless egoist. It’s just that everything works out for him there, he is the smartest, most important, most competent there, but in the family he doesn’t have such a feeling. Over time, his “scales” will tilt in favor of work, but this is not what you would like, right?

How to ensure that a man ceases to feel guilty for his parental qualities and rejoices in fatherhood? In my opinion, the best way to create positive motivation is to make a man feel that his children love him. Rough flattery is not needed - just mention in a conversation with your husband what your everyday life is filled with: “The child spoke about you”, “The son boasted of you today”, “The children miss you and are looking forward to the weekend”. Such testimonies increase the self-esteem of a man, encourage him to strive to communicate with children.

Protect your spouse from the nightmare of all young parents - a night vigil near a newborn. Both for business and for the family it is much better if a man gets enough sleep at night. Do not expect him to lisp with a baby: this is not interesting for most men. Wait until the baby grows up a little and communication with dad becomes more meaningful and productive. But do not exclude affection, teach both - both the husband and the child - to be gentle with each other, to give warmth and affection. Cultivate in them a sense of kinship, closeness.

time for kids

Not only entrepreneurs, but also their wives, as a rule, have little free time. But children are children, and both in ancient times and today they give us a sense of stability: they will continue our family, we will not leave what we have achieved, no one knows who, we will not throw everything we have gained into a nameless cosmic void. Therefore, neglecting education would be a terrible mistake.

How to build high-quality communication with a child in conditions of limited time? The secret is simple: set aside 15 minutes a day when you can be alone with him so that no one bothers you. Ask the kid what he would like to do, and do what he asks. During joint classes, you can ask your son or daughter questions: what was good today? what's wrong?

Maybe he did something outstanding, achieved something, learned something? Or maybe he did something stupid? If necessary, first talk about your own news and stupidity: this will teach the child to share personal experiences and accept his mistakes. Laughing together about how you got out of the car and stepped into a puddle is an invaluable experience. So children will learn not to make drama out of ordinary problems and to forgive themselves for their mistakes.

Host family dinners. We have a tradition on Friday evenings with the whole family to sit down at the table. Together with the girls, we set the table, invite dad and start the meal, and everyone shares five good events from the past week. This brings us closer and helps to learn more about each other, as well as about what pleases or excites each of us. We also learn to listen to each other.

If the husband does not mind, you can pre-arrange the time and bring the children to his office. A daughter or son can draw or do homework next to dad's desk, "working with dad." Usually entrepreneurs are proud of their children and will be happy to introduce their subordinates to them. In addition, this is a great opportunity to tell and show the kids what their dad is doing. You can explain that his work gives the child the opportunity to go to a good school and the whole family go on vacation to the sea.

Children and money

It is very important to teach children to respect not only the work of the father, but also money. In solving this difficult task, you will be helped by ... pocket money. For example, we give small sums to our daughters every week. And when the girls ask me to buy them another unscheduled toy during their shopping trips, I offer them to pay for it from their savings. When they pay themselves, a hundred or two hundred rubles no longer seem like a trifle to them, but look like quite a serious amount.

We have five children, and it is very interesting to see how they handle money differently: someone loses everything at once, someone saves. If there is not enough money for a "dream toy", we give the child the opportunity to earn money. Our eldest daughter vacuumed the carpets in my husband's office, baked cookies and made sweets for the clients of my center. The average earns by looking after the kids, doing all possible housework. We keep a list of their work merits and, in addition to pocket money, at the end of the week we give out honestly earned ones.

It is important to give the child the opportunity to experiment. For example, my dad once taught me about financial independence, suggesting that you can make sandwiches and sell them in his company. I am sure that the positive experience influenced the fact that I now manage my company.

Our daughters are still too young to teach them what makes up the cost of a product or how to find customers themselves, but I am sure that children who have inherited the gift of entrepreneurship attend their first business school at home, in their family.

Don't force your kids to make your dreams come true

Another common problem in parent-child relationships is the desire of parents for their children to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. For example, an accountant mother, who dreamed of becoming a ballerina as a child, forces her daughter to go to a dance club, not noticing that the girl hates him and wants to learn, for example, to play the guitar. Sincerely wishing the baby well, the mother nevertheless does not understand very well where her desires are, and where are the desires of her daughter.

Entrepreneurial dads also want the best for their children, which is why they often load their offspring with a variety of activities. But this is not always for the benefit of the child. It is much more useful if mom and dad try to understand what the child himself wants, observe the impulses of his soul and support them.

At one time, I thought that my girls should skate and swim. As a result, one of them spent more time in the locker room than on the ice, and the second swallowed water in the pool and refused to obey the coach. I changed tactics, deciding not to impose my ideas, but to follow the desires of my daughters. Now one of them is learning to draw with great interest, and the other is enthusiastically engaged in Indian dances.

But what if the child does not express a clear interest in anything? You can offer him a dozen different types of activities to choose from. If he likes something, try working out with him a few times, and then ask if he wants to continue on his own. If the kid is studying under the guidance of a teacher, it makes sense to discuss the motivation system with the latter. The main thing in such activities, especially at the initial stage, is to maintain the interest of the baby without hurting him or lowering his self-esteem.

Come up with a list of activities that the kids will only do with dad. Depending on the age and gender of the children, this list may vary. Coordinate the list with your husband before you share it with your children.

It is very important to share both your successes and failures with your children. This also applies to business failures. This allows children to accept their own mistakes more easily. They feel a great closeness with their parents, realizing that dad and mom trust them.

Decide for yourself whether you want the children to take part in the father's business as much as possible. In my opinion, this is a great idea. Children see what their father is doing, begin to respect his work and learn to earn money themselves.

Be sure to have family meals. Once a week is enough. This brings the family closer, and it also allows you to take stock of the week for each family member and for the whole family as a whole.

Spend time informally with your kids. Your presence at the school play is certainly important, but just as important is just acting together. It won't be easy for a busy dad. But you can, for example, specifically allocate an hour for games or other joint activities on a day off.

Talk to children. Ask them if they feel loved. Do they need the attention of their parents, find out what kind of attention they want. You may hear completely different things that you thought your children were important! And also tell them what kind of attention and help you want from them. Teach them to talk about their needs so that in the future they can talk about it boldly and not suffer from the fact that others do not know what they want.

Comment on the article "How to become a good father? 6 tips for busy dads"

I'm fine. That is, against the background of how it happens with others, it’s good, but in general it’s bad. Every day someone gets divorced, I'm not original. And the man who initiated the breakup is not God knows what a rarity. And children, even small and very, very cute, cease to interest their fathers - and this is not news, it happens. And when compared with what could be - everything is fine. I have my own apartment, I don’t have to go anywhere and re-create life. In September, I will go to work, where they are waiting for me ...

The attitude of my ex-husband towards children depresses me ... and his constant claims that I am "immersed in my personal life" :/ He has been unemployed since April, transferred 1/3 of the severance pay (60tr) in May, then did not pay anything for 3 months , took the writ of execution to the bailiffs, since August he began to transfer 9tr (1/3 of the average salary in the country) Recently, the small one asked his dad when he would go to work, to which he received the answer: "I have 7 million, I can no longer work, in general" :(Large...

Despite all the variety of papal thoughts, it is not necessary to understand all his thoughts for a happy family life. Sometimes dad opens his mouth to speak his thoughts out loud. And God forbid neither mother nor small children try to comprehend his, father's, ideas. However, children do not even try, but mothers often show complete lack of understanding and, worse, begin to argue aggressively !!. Still!, smack such nonsense, even with children. Dad, of course, such a reaction to his bright ideas is not weak ...

1. Understand for yourself - life is no longer subordinated to your needs. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you will find happiness. 2. Become attentive to what is happening. Men, most often, are proud and do not see the needs of others, especially in a new environment. Look around and find what you can do to create harmony. 3. Prepare to be a receptionist. When they talk about fatherhood, they mean love and support, in reality it is about moving things around. Your help is needed...

In the conditions of life in a metropolis, young parents have less and less time for joint leisure with their children. Therefore, adults are looking for the most effective opportunities for the development and education of children, interesting options for organizing joint recreation. We have found a solution, presenting a unique format of the exhibition, which has no analogues. The interactive exhibition of children's leisure and family recreation will become a single information platform for the socio-cultural infrastructure of modern childhood and...

1. Helping the child develop independence and separation (separation) from the mother. The father gives the child a different, not similar to the mother's experience of communication between an adult and a small person. During the first year of life, the child perceives the mother as an extension of himself. Even my mother's voice is perceived as my own at first. There is a strong symbiotic bond between mother and baby. Dad is an external, unknown object, and therefore very interesting for the child and an important source of everything ...

Here is (very briefly) about the types of men and their relationship to fatherhood at a very early stage - when you are expecting a child. Dad is expecting. He is delighted that the baby will be born soon. He happily expects him and is ready to go with his future mother to all kinds of training courses. He shares the excitement with her, listens to all complaints, cares and takes care. The new status "I am a father" usually inspires him. What is needed (from you) for such a dad to support his magnificent mood? Share your feelings with him...

Section: Fathers and children (how to be a good father after a divorce). Here we have a person who allegedly wants to be a father "OBJECTIVE" reasons not to see the child on weekdays, and he is also given advice on how the mother of the child needs to be built. This is the only way to become a real dad.

One way or another, soon you will become a dad. Perhaps the next nine months before the birth of a child will not be easy for you to live, but imagine what your beloved has to do. Huge changes are taking place in her body, the hormonal background is changing, weight is growing, she is tormented by nausea and back pain. It is up to you now that the mental and physical comfort of your wife and future baby depends. Sympathize with your wife. Of course, endless complaining and whining is terribly annoying, but try to imagine yourself on her ...

You can, of course, buy a gift. But there is no gift more precious than the one in which one's own efforts have been invested. Make together with your baby such a one-on-one. It is very simple to make it, but ... But ... and in many years you will look at it with great pleasure, especially at these little hands and feet, which have now grown up and have caught up, or even overtaken my mother's - father's ... Now paints are sold especially for kids (in everyday life they are called "edible"). Prepare a big...

02/25/07 (6 months 5 days) In the morning Dima and I are sitting in the Angelina hall in a high chair. Literally for a few seconds, I was distracted by Dima's newspaper on TV Angelinka got to her feet on a chair and holds her hands on the table, which is 40 cm away. As we saw, we were frightened and grabbed her, she had risen to her feet on a chair before, but this was the first time to hold on to the table. I had to remove the chair and let her crawl on the blanket, but she still wants to get up on her feet leaning on a sofa or chair. You can't leave her...

Dad and daughter: work on the mistakes. Fathers and Sons. Family relationships. When I ask my husband for advice, he most often offers me to decide for myself. Then the children feel good, and dad is an authority for them, then the upbringing somehow turns out by itself.

Unfortunately, my child grows up without a father, but in general, a dad (good!) is really needed. - on this occasion, I was somehow also given advice to look for the cause in myself.

thanks to all. a lot of good advice. I will try. I'll write later how it ended 05.11.2007 17:24:07, Lana2007. I was very worried - if dad communicates so little with children, what kind of relationship can he have with them (this is the question of how to become a good father)?

“Your dad is a very good person, but I can’t live with him. By the way, good advice to mom is to consult a specialist before deciding, to find out that Father usually doesn’t make such decisions, his head is occupied only with his own personal questions.

How to become a good father? 6 tips for busy dads Daughter or son can draw or do homework next to dad's worker. In addition, this is a great opportunity to tell and show the kids what their dad is doing.

How to become a good father? 6 tips for busy dads Daughter or son can draw or do homework next to dad's worker. In addition, this is a great opportunity to tell and show the kids what their dad is doing.

Need advice. Girls, please share your experience. I'm going to marry a man who has a child from his first marriage. Maybe it will be even more difficult for my child - a new uncle, there is no dad .... These are just words, I will never be able to forcibly take the father away from the child and ...

Section: Wife and husband (how to become a good husband and father book). How to become a good father and beloved husband? Our life together is just beginning. We are taking the first steps: in two months the wedding, the bride is pregnant.