The young man lacks female attention. How to understand that a husband lacks attention A girl lacks attention signs

Harmony in a relationship is only achievable when both partners are equally invested. The balance between what we give and what we receive contributes to the development of strong and lasting relationships. But it happens that one of the partners in a relationship considers himself left out. In such cases, as a rule, the relationship goes wrong. Mutual claims accumulate, which can develop into open or latent conflicts. To fix the problem, you need to understand the cause and fix it. There may be several reasons. So let's take a look at the root causes of lack of focus in relationships.

1. You are closed.

This often happens, especially with those people who have had negative experiences in building relationships in the past. The psychological trauma of the past, if not healed, can affect our future and present. A person subconsciously shuts himself off from all attempts to show attention, and it is not surprising that the partner simply stops taking them over time.

2. You yourself do not pay enough attention to your partner.

It is natural that a person who does not receive due attention himself will not show it in return. Someone needs to take the first step and start showing attention. Therefore, if you lack a warm and caring attitude from your partner, start giving him this, and he will reciprocate you.

3. You constantly criticize your partner for his attitude towards you.

The easiest way to alienate a person from yourself is to start criticizing him without respite. If you lack attention, then criticism, tantrums and blackmail, you will not get it. Moreover, you will further alienate your partner and close his heart. A relationship that has been shattered by criticism and perennial pretensions is very difficult to repair.

4. You are not talking about lack of attention.

This problem is usually rooted in a person's childhood. When the parents of a still not speaking child try to guess his desires every time, and offer various options at the moment of crying, he expects this from all people, even in adulthood. Indeed, for a child, parents are the whole world, and it is from them that he learns how this life and relationships with people work. But, this is easy to fix - do not expect your partner to guess about the lack of attention, talk to him. Even the closest people cannot read our thoughts and plunge into experiences.

5. You are comparing your partner to other people.

Most often women are fond of this unproductive occupation. "Look, Tanya's husband gives her roses every weekend, and when did you buy me flowers?" - phrases of this type will not have a positive effect. This will only lead to the fact that the partner will close. Nobody likes to be compared to someone who is better than him. Instead, you can just talk about what you would like without using anyone else as an example.

6. You take charge of everything.

This is also a typically female problem. First, the ladies take on a huge, overwhelming burden of responsibility, and the men, under their onslaught, yield. But, then these women complain that they lack care, that it is hard for them and would like everything to be different. You don't have to assume that you will do better than your partner. No need to shoulder an overwhelming burden. Just trust the person you are going through life with and ask him for help and care.

7. You push your partner away.

At the beginning of building a relationship, partners are always attentive to each other. But, when one of them constantly stumbles upon the fact that the second does not accept the manifestations of attention, his desire to take care gradually fades away. Again, let's look at an example with colors. The man brought the woman a beautiful bouquet, and the lady scolded him for excessive spending and, as it were, casually reminded that she would like new boots, not flowers that will wither in a week. After a time, when the happy owner of boots forgets about the ill-fated bouquet, the man will not buy her flowers, but will concentrate on practical gifts. Therefore, you should not push away the partner showing signs of attention, whatever they may be.

8. You don't thank.

A lot of people live with the ossified conviction that everyone owes them. The husband should take care, give gifts, provide, give compliments. The wife should be supportive, caring, patient, beautiful, cook dinner and at the same time remain affectionate. The root of this is ingratitude. When we think so, then we are taking the attention for granted. But, in fact, the manifestation of attention is the will of a person and his gift, and it is necessary to feel gratitude for this.

9. You are fixated on yourself.

Excessive concentration of attention on his own person leads to the fact that the partner considers himself unnecessary, superfluous, and he loses the desire to take care. Moreover, when a person is egocentric, he may not notice the manifestation of care, and demand more and more. The egocentric partner himself lacks attention, and in order to somehow balance this, he will try to take care of himself. These processes are subconscious, so people may not be aware of what is really happening. The situation can be changed by introspection, and observing the relationship, as if from the outside.

10. The person does not love you.

It is fashionable today to create marriages and build relationships without love. Fall in love and endure - this is only in films. In real life, love does not grow out of nothing. In order to grow love, you need a seed - a personal decision of a person. Time will not make your partner love you. Persuasion will not make him become more attentive to you if he does not love you. There is no point in waiting for something. Love - it either is, or it is not.

Women want male attention, don't get it, they suffer and write me letters.

For example, these are: “A woman wants more warmth, words and signs of attention, that is, expressions and external manifestations of love from a Man. The man is cold and not used to giving it all away, he is silent, but says that he loves and freaks out when some signs of attention are required from him, withdraws into himself.

A quarrel and resentment begins on both sides. It's as cold as an Iceberg in the ocean, and she wants love). What should both of them do? P. S. Verbal requests do not help ".

Or like this: “He doesn't talk about his feelings, I want it to be sincere with him, and not when I pull them out of him. I feel that this emotional expression is lacking in our relationship, due to his past experiences.

I am very emotional, I do not have enough emotions from him, I cease to feel that I am valuable to him, it hurts me. Please tell me what to do about it ".

The easiest way, of course, in this situation is to talk not with women, but with their men.

Take this aside and say, well, don't be a beacon, learn a dozen warm phrases and displays of attention, put them in the reminders of your phone and do it as soon as the reminder pops up. Let's say you're driving home from work - and here's a reminder "Buy your wife flowers." I stopped, bought it, brought it home, handed it over.

Another time, a reminder "Tell your wife that you love her" was bilinked. He said and kissed.

In the third, the reminder reminded me of "Hug your wife right now." I went and hugged. If at that moment my wife was not at home, I wrote an SMS, they say, my beloved, I missed you, so I want to hug you.

And that's all. The wife is happy, does not write various questions to Zygmantovich, does not complain about your coldness. Beauty!

Alas, this method will not work - women, not men, write to me. The solution is for women, not for men.

Therefore, I will try the tried and tested method - I will clarify. It often happens that the emerging clarity, when everything is on the shelves, seriously reduces stress and suffering.

Let's start with the main thing - men are usually less attentive to relationships than women. For most women, relationships usually come first. For most men, it is usually on the third (the gradation is somewhat arbitrary and does not apply to everyone, but only to the majority).

A woman is usually worried and worried about the relationship. A man is usually worried and worried about the business (in a broad sense, for what he does outside the family).

Relationships, wife and children - for him go a little after the case (although, what is important, most often the case is needed not for him personally, but for the family). And the opposite is true for a woman.

This is normal - men and women are complimentary, that is, complementary. Our union allows us to cover more than one at a time.

However, hence the problem. Women expect one thing from men and get another. Men expect something else from women and get something else.

Which exit? Of course, take into account the peculiarities of each other.

It is useful for men to know and remember that relationships for women are usually immensely important, first on the list of priorities, and sometimes above the first place.

It is good for women to know and remember that relationships for men are usually somewhere in the third place on the list of priorities. This knowledge and "remembering" makes life much easier.

A woman wants attention for two reasons - biological and psychological. Biologically, attention is pleasant. Stroking, scratching, hugging, gentle intonation - all this pleases.

Psychologically, attention means - you are the only one for me, still. And a woman, I remind you, does not want to be loved, but the only one (a link to a note about this is at the very bottom).

Therefore, when a woman talks about attention, she can say it “out of joy,” because she wants pleasant things. Or she may say "out of fear" because she is afraid that she is no longer the only one for a man.

As a rule, they speak mainly "out of fear." And when they speak out of fear, requests sound accusations, hints - reproaches, questions - arrivals. Out of fear.

Output? Deal with your fears - what is going on inside your head, that you began to be afraid. Say, maybe you have fantasized anything for yourself, but the man, as in a joke, just does not start a motorcycle? Could it be that what you consider coldness is in fact just reverie?

It's easy to see a man's love - does he strive to make your life easier? So he loves. Is he coming home? Brings money? Does it help in different things? So he loves for sure. So what, what does not say - deeds are more important than words.

Dear ladies! Before you suffer and grieve, look at what is happening with a sober look. Is the man reaching out to you? Talking to you? Hugs you? Comes to your home? Sleeping with you? Buying you a bag, boots and a sixth iPhonePlus? So, maybe this is a manifestation of his love and emphasizing your uniqueness for him? Maybe this is important? Maybe look at this and not your fear?

Let's leave these questions unanswered - as rhetorical ...

And that's all for me. Thanks for attention.

/ decided to post what was written earlier and not posted here =) /

"Girls are creatures of a subtle mental organization."
And also, a weak nervous system and violent imagination.
Most often (!) All the whims, absurdities, tantrums, brain carryover with
side of girls towards their young people do not come from
harmful nature, not because of PMS or some other temporary
insanity, but only because of your lack, dear men,
attention. By the way, due to the alleged reasons listed above,
the consequences of the main reason - this very lack of your attention -
may get worse .. So, let's look at the most common
diagram of the development of events in this situation.

Consequences of lack of attention:

Stage 1. Initial. The state "I miss", then "I miss aaaa",
"yayayaya boredom" .. This stage is quite favorable for the relationship,
this is the very portion of the "lack of attention", which is even more
"heats up" feelings, and as a result - passionate meetings, fiery
kiss and so on.

You can and should apply) the main thing is not to overdo it ... because if you tighten it, then you should:

Stage 2.
The state "I am angry", then "I am very angry!", "I am furious !!" .. This
the stage is no longer so favorable, or rather - not at all favorable for
relations, since the very whims, tantrums are already beginning here,
absurdities, in general - the removal of the brain .. And the absurdities seem
such only men, girls have soooo logical
chains, it's just that men do not have enough imagination for them ... and girls have her
wow, how much .. yes still, when there is so much "free" time to
put it in motion ... and now she has already wound herself God knows what, from this
got even more angry at you ..

By the way, a man is not always aware of all this volcano of passions,
maybe she is "proud", she does not show you anything, but all the delights of this
stages pour out on others, girlfriends ..

Waiting for a call, messages, she renounces not to write, not to call
first. At all. Never. Then an hour later he could not stand it and wrote
something insignificant, sort of passing ..

At this stage, everything is still easily fixable (except for the girl's nerve cells,
of course, which, as you know, cannot be restored), it is sufficient only
correct, call, write, a couple of affectionate words, assurances that
how dear she is to you, how you, terribly busy, think of her incessantly and
etc. - and that's it, the disaster is over .. The main thing is to catch yourself in time ..
Otherwise, it will come:

Stage 3. The state "I scored" or "Well, fig with you, golden
fish ".. Here the girl is distracted by others - other thoughts, other
business, other entertainment, other friends, buddies, acquaintances. Fills,
so to speak, emptiness. She remembers that she lived well before you.
Begins to notice other, "more attentive" people .. And here you can still
fix everything, if, nevertheless, do not tighten it completely.
to notice, she notices them, but while the feelings have not faded away, further
"remarks" will not work .. The main thing is to catch yourself in time .. Although, if you
brought your girlfriend to Stage 3, maybe you don't really need her ...

So, if you have mastered this stream of thoughts, assess the situation, write
your precious fiery message, or better - call, and
better ... Yes, you yourself know everything, you are so smart here, right ??))
although not always attentive enough))

Love, Non-Feminist.