How do I find a topic for conversation? This awkward prolonged silence ...

02.07.2019

Have you ever had this: you came to an unfamiliar company and you do not feel at all like a fish in water? Everyone is talking about something, but you have nothing to say? And they seem to be good, interesting people, but the conversation somehow does not go well: as if there are no common themes of contact. Good topics of conversation are hard to find right away. There are other situations: two people are forced to spend a long time together, but they do not even know what to talk to each other about, how to find interesting topics for conversation. Therefore, all conversations are reduced to "about the weather" or to a long silence.

It turns out that being a good conversationalist is not always easy! Why is it possible to talk with some people on any topic, but with others even a couple of cheerful words will not be picked up? Sometimes it is absolutely necessary to be able to properly maintain a conversation! For example, when meeting with the boss at a new job or with the parents of your significant other. After all, you cannot erase all people with whom the conversation does not fit in any way! So how do you find a topic of conversation?

What we talk about, what we talk about, actually SPEAKS about us. Every day, we unconsciously vocalize our desires and shortcomings. After all, we do not speak: our unconscious, our vectors, speaks us.

This may interest you

It turns out that the set of vectors directly affects the topics of conversation we choose and the very manner of communication. People with a similar set of vectors and states understand each other: their conversation is built freely and naturally. But for representatives of counter vectors, communication may not work out. Each vector has its own good topics of conversation.

This means that if you know everything about the vectors of the interlocutor, you can understand what you can talk about with him and how to properly maintain a conversation with him. Today we will look at how representatives of the most popular vectors show themselves in communication.

Skin vector... As you probably guessed by now, good topics for conversation with leather workers are money, profit, and everything that comes with it. Careers, jobs, prices, sales, earning methods are their most popular conversation topics. After all, we all remember that money is the main value of leather workers. Moreover, the owners of the skin vector love to talk about a healthy lifestyle: about sports, about weight loss and diets, about healthy and unhealthy food. Male leatherworkers love to discuss cars, expensive gadgets and, of course, girls in their circle. Because By nature, all leather workers love to compete and dream of being the first in everything, then the conversation about women often comes down to who has picked up how many "women". Skin women love to talk about shopping and fashion.

People with a skin vector are extroverts, so they are quite open in communication, but they don't like to talk a lot about themselves: they ask more.

Anal vector... The owners of the anal vector are not as verbose as the skinheads (but it also depends on the upper vectors). Anal people are introverts. They like to say little and to the point. There can be many good topics for conversation. For example, women with an anal vector like to talk about family, about children, about cooking and cleaning - in general, about their daily activities. Men with an anal vector talk about purely "male" topics: hunting, fishing, maybe history. "We are not women to tryndet a lot!" The picture, of course, changes, there is an anal man, for example, with a visual vector, and / or an oral one.

Favorite motive of any conversations of the owner of the anal vector: "It used to be so good, but now ..." And a long discussion begins about how humanity has degraded, what kind of "youth" has gone now and where the world is heading. Homosexuals are not the most pleasant topic for a man with an anal vector (but, nevertheless, they are also very popular). The fact is that a man with an anal vector has an undifferentiated libido. This means that in potential he can be attracted not only by women, but also by males. And even if his orientation is “all right,” he often, without realizing it, constantly emphasizes his masculinity.

If you want to win over a man with an anal vector in a conversation, then do not look for smart topics for conversation for a long time, instead, it is better to agree with him in everything, often nod: “yes, the world is going to hell”, “yes, family - this is the most important thing in life, and a man is always the main one in the family. " Then, believe me, he will remember you as a wonderful companion and a pleasant person.

Visual vector... Spectators are probably the best conversationalists. Especially when it comes to people with a developed visual vector. Why? Because the visual vector gives its owners a unique gift - the ability to empathy. They feel their interlocutor, so they unconsciously adapt to him in a conversation: sometimes they even adopt the pace and manner of speech. They are comfortable and cozy with them: they are excellent psychotherapists. They can listen, support and give the most valuable thing - sympathy. Interesting topics for conversation with them are always provided.

At the same time, people with a visual vector are still talkers. They can try for hours on end: so that even a word in their tirade will be difficult to insert. Particularly talkative are not very developed spectators, who constantly try to draw the blanket of attention in conversation. People with a visual vector are very emotional, they can often exaggerate and escalate the situation.

How to find a common topic of conversation with skin-visual women? They talk about men all the time. What else is it about?

Sound vector... The most "uncommunicative" and most paradoxical vector. Like typical introverts, sound people are often silent: they listen more than they talk. How do you find a topic for conversation with them? This is a difficult task, because they believe that the conversations of “all these people around” are meaningless. So, there is no point in even opening your mouth. For people with a sound vector, the important question is: "Why?" Why talk about the weather, about women, about cars, fashion? If a sound engineer starts talking, then in the company of the same sound people like him. It is then that conversations begin about the meaning of life and philosophy, about God and religion and about many, many other things. A person with a sound vector has been trying to learn the laws of the universe all his life, so these topics are relevant to him like no one else. Who am I? Why am I? Why me?

People with a sound vector may seem like good listeners, but not everyone. Some sound people, while you chat, are not listening to you at all: they have been hovering in their thoughts for a long time, but they have already forgotten about you. By the way, it is the sound people who like to quietly conduct a conversation with themselves: I am the best interlocutor for myself.

Oral vector. People with an oral vector were told by God himself to speak, so they have no problem choosing a topic for conversation: as soon as they see free ears, they begin to attack with their chatter. And there is no escape from their "verbal diarrhea".

We have considered only the most common types of people. But, already possessing only this knowledge, one can understand how to build a conversation with certain people, how to find a common topic for conversation with any person. And if you dig even deeper, you will discover whole layers of information! Communicate at your pleasure with Yuri Burlan!

The article was written using materials from trainings on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Find out more about OUR LECTURES.

Helena
Oct 28, 2013 @ 11:42

Helena
Oct 28, 2013 @ 16:58

Tatyana
Oct 28, 2013 @ 21:45

Lidiya
Dec 10, 2013 @ 19:31

Oksana Kotorobay
Jun 21, 2014 @ 02:55

Our life is unthinkable without communication. But if at home or with friends you can relax and chaotically express your thoughts, counting on the understanding of loved ones, then you need to behave in a collected manner with unfamiliar people. It is important to know which issues are worth raising and which are not. We'll show you where to look for topics of conversation and give you a universal formula for supporting a casual conversation.

How to find interesting topics of conversation

Develop

It is easy to find interesting topics for communication for those who do not stand still, but are constantly engaged in self-development. Reading classical and modern literature, watching films with meaning, traveling, attending exhibitions or master classes - these are the activities that make us interesting people. Leading an active lifestyle, we will not notice how cleverly we can switch from topic to topic, skillfully countering knowledge in each area affected.

Talk about the interlocutor

It's good when that talker is still nearby - the scattering of his phrases does not allow even the slightest pauses and defuses the situation. But how do you find a topic for conversation with a silent person? How to win him over? Psychologists unanimously offer to talk about their interlocutor. Of course, it is not worth starting an address with the words: "Well, my friend, tell us about yourself!"

You can ask his opinion about what is happening around or high-profile events. Sharing their thoughts, people, without noticing it, begin to talk about themselves. Here are some examples of questions that can start a dialogue: "Where are you from?", "Do you like this city?", "How do you like this medical reform?"

Find common

The situation that unites the interlocutors is an essential reason for conversation. For example, a shared train journey always has one. Strangers gathered in one compartment traditionally tell each other where, from where and for what purpose they are going. Why sometimes complete opposites share this information with each other?

It's simple - they have something in common. IN in this case - the road from point A to point B. It is paradoxical, but it often happens that people who happen to meet by chance find exciting topics for conversation and mutual acquaintances, and sometimes even decide to jointly continue the journey to a certain place, exchanging addresses.

Make a compliment

This is not about sycophantic compliment of external features or character traits. But if we mark some action or deed, expressing our admiration or respect, but the mood for a friendly conversation is provided. It may look like this: "How do you manage to behave so masterfully during the performance?" or "How long have you trained to achieve these results?"

Tell about yourself

Our hobbies or achievements may also be interesting to someone. Talking about yourself, there is a chance to find a point of contact with your interlocutor, because he, too, may be delighted with the creativity of the surrealists or be an avid fishing.

Remember the eternal

If everything has already been told about yourself, and it is desirable to continue the dialogue, what topics can you still talk about? In this case, it is worth trying to push the boundaries of the rational. There are a lot of so-called eternal questions that people have discussed at all times. At first, these questions may seem strange or awkward, but they are able to develop an interesting conversation:

If you were allowed to take only three things to a desert island, what would you take?
What era would you like to live in? Why?
What is human happiness?

Follow the news

Current Events is a complete list of conversation topics. Rarely is anyone not interested in hearing the latest gossip about a famous show business star or finding out the details of some shocking event. No wonder the know of the last century started the day with reading newspapers - you can captivate your interlocutor with news, asking his opinion about what is happening.

Versatile conversation topics

There are 6 main themes that can be brought up regardless of the interviewee's age, location or culture. In America, these topics are abbreviated as F.O.R.M. If translated into Russian, this formula will be called - С.П.О.Д. Some capital letters in it are responsible for two headings. What is this combination?

C - Family... Most are happy to talk about their roots, origins, parents' life, place of birth. Rarely does anyone not want to brag about the achievements of their family members. If you do not ask direct or tactless questions, you can learn a lot about the interlocutor by spending time with him interestingly.

P - Profession... If you need serious topics for conversation, you can talk about the education received, its quality, as well as the type of activity of the interlocutors and their professional experience. In the "P" category, social, social or economic issues may arise.

O - Rest... This block contains the most common topics for conversation with friends, with whom we most often spend our leisure time. A sea of \u200b\u200bmemories and even more plans are associated with relaxation. Even a stranger is interested in hearing about unforgettable adventures or unusual hobbies. This includes discussion of books, films, attractions, and the like.

O - Education... Everyone has a story to tell about their student years. The sciences studied, the behavior of teachers, the principle of choosing a profession, funny stories are some of the most neutral and safe topics for communicating with unfamiliar people.

D - Money... The prices of medicines, the size of the pension, the increase in tariffs are topics of conversation that can not only unite the first comers, but also turn them against a third party. This also includes a discussion about discounts, promotions, product quality, etc.

D - Others... In fact, these are cultural gossip that we learn about from the media, the Internet, social networks and more. Discussion of memes, jokes or scandals is of more interest to young people who lead an active virtual life.

Talking Points Better Not to Bring Up

A casual conversation can be cut short at the beginning by asking a tactless question or touching on a slippery topic. What are the best things not to talk about?

Politics... Differences in politics can not only spoil a friendly conversation, but also start a war, as history proves. It is not worth imposing your views, expressing opinions about politicians, giving the names of leaders whom we trust and vice versa - the likelihood of finding support is low.

Religion... Everyone has the right to believe what he wants. Many confessions, churches and religious organizations coexist among us. Proving the truth of a particular faith is a sure way to conflict. It is interreligious differences that cause the bloodshed of believers.

Personal life... Tactful personal questions are explosive. A person asking questions like "When are you going to get married?", "Do you plan to have children yet?" Is clearly playing with fire. Personal life is everyone's holy of holies and any intrusion is viewed as a potential threat.

Diseases... There are people who do not notice how long they can talk about their condition. A detailed listing of symptoms, an intriguing announcement of the diagnosis, a long story about treatment methods are not very interesting topics for discussion. No matter how deeply the interlocutor listens to our speech, it should be remembered that he is annoyed by talking about diseases.

Conversation topics are a powerful foundation for interesting and successful communication. Having caught the right wave in the conversation, we will be able to make interesting acquaintances, make friends, and build a successful career. All you need to do is remember which issues can be raised and which are tacitly prohibited.

Interesting topics for conversation with a girl.

When dating on the street or online, success depends on how you conduct the conversation. Sometimes the external data of the interlocutor fade into the background, since communication with a person is very interesting. In this article, we will help you start a conversation with a girl so that she does not refuse you.

If you were introduced to a girl by friends or you found an ad on a dating site, then the moment of the first telephone conversation comes. Your further relationship depends on how interesting the girl will be to communicate with you.

Topics for talking on the phone:

Pets. Find out if the girl has a pet she loves, cats or dogs. Perhaps you have something to talk about. This can be animal care or feed, vitamins, vaccinations, mating.
Children. This topic may be of interest to a young mother or a girl who has a younger brother or sister.
Sport. This topic will be interesting if your chosen one watches her body. And you go to the gym too. You can discuss vitamins, proper nutrition and nutritional supplements.
Holidays. If you're looking forward to the holiday, this is a great conversation starter. You should ask about gifts and options for the celebration.
Travels. The most enjoyable topic is relaxation. Therefore, you can talk about warm countries and the sea.

Topics for conversation in VK:

Job... Try asking the girl about her job if she likes it. If she is enthusiastic about her work, you can develop the topic.
Money. The topic of making money is interesting to everyone. But do not talk a lot about money, so as not to seem greedy or, on the contrary, wasteful.
Hobby. Ask what the girl does in her free time. Perhaps she has strange hobbies.
Religion. This topic should not be touched upon if you are a believer and the girl is an atheist. But you can talk about religions in other countries.

The best, interesting topics for conversation with a girl in VKontakte

Topics for communicating with a stranger:

Start a conversation based on what you see on social media. Perhaps start the conversation with an interesting proverb or expression from the girl's page. Say you are interested in the philosophy or the writings of Lao Tzu.
If there are a lot of recipes on the page, you can talk about food. If the girl talks about how she loves to cook, you can tell how you cook a particular dish, or how you like to eat it.
If you found a profile on a dating site, write what purpose you are meeting for, and brief information about yourself. Write a little about your hobbies.
If you don't know anything about fashion, then you shouldn't write about it. Write about an interesting movie. This can be a great reason to get invited to the cinema.
Find common topics based on her page. If there are pictures of the cat on the wall, ask about his name. A pet will be a great occasion to meet.
If the girl has photos of her roller skating, invite her to ride together. This also applies to the bicycle.

List of cool topics:

Museums and memorial sites. Talk about interesting and unusual places. Pottery workshops, chocolate factories with demonstrations can be interesting.
Computer games. Only use this theme if the girl is really into it.
Toys. Ask if the girl makes or collects toys. It can be soft toys or kinders.
Collecting. You can talk about stamps, coins, antiques. But this topic is quite subtle and not interesting to everyone.

If you know a girl and you know each other well, then sometimes it is more pleasant to just keep quiet in the company of each other. You don't have to talk about anything.

Topics for conversation with your beloved:

Future plans
Interesting pastime or leisure time
Joint purchases
Study or work
Common acquaintances and news about them

Here is a sample dialogue with a girl on VK:

- Hi, I was interested in your page, you are very interesting to me.

- Hello.

- We have mutual friends, don't you go to the Sport Life club for fitness?

- Yes, I go to fitness, and we know each other.

- No, I saw you several times, can we meet?

- Okay.

- How long have you been going to the gym?

- About a year

- You have a beautiful appearance.

- Thank.

- I have been walking for 2 years, but without fanaticism. 2 times a week, cardio training and running.

- I also run, though not in the gym, but in the park)

- Maybe we will organize a joint run tomorrow, when are you planning?

- I will be at the Mayak at 7.00

- Ok, then see you tomorrow, bye.

What to talk about with a girl on VK: an example

As you can see, to get to know a girl, you just need to know a little about her and you can talk about common interests.

VIDEO: Topics of conversation

How to arrange a woman when meeting, what to talk about?

If you are new to a girl and she is reluctant to answer personal questions, start a conversation. caution, and only then, having won over, try to get closer.

What can you talk about in general?

About pets... Ask if she has a favorite pet, if so, discuss it. If not, ask who you would like to turn on. You can watch funny videos on the Internet with the participation of cats and dogs;
Find out if looks tV series and what. If so, talk about characters and events, share your impressions. If she hasn't looked at one yet, suggest the most interesting options, invite to watch together;
Childhood memories is a great way to position and relax the interlocutor. If a new friend is still avoiding personal topics, talk to her about childhood, how and where she spent it, remember how you grew up. Tell her what toys and games were, where you went for walks with your parents and how you played pranks. This topic is the most neutral, gives a nostalgic mood and relieves tension in the conversation.

When you first meet, try to stick to general conversations and observe how willing the other person is to communicate. Then proceed as appropriate.

In this video, psychologist Yegor Sheremetyev will tell you about what you can talk about with a girl you recently met:

What to talk to a girl about on a date?

The main rule is a girl shouldn't be bored... You can come on a date without a bunch of flowers, but if she starts yawning, being around - "write wasted." There are many directions to talk about:

what are you interested in? I do boxing - this is my hobby, but what do you do in your free time?
What were you like as a child?
What cheers you up?
Do you like to travel in comfort or do you prefer to relax as a savage, away from people?
What kind of music do you listen to, why, who is your favorite singer / singer?
Do you like to watch movies in what genre?
Tell us about the most unforgettable experiences in your life;
You have a wonderful figure, what kind of sports do you do?
If there was an opportunity to go to live somewhere else, where would you like to move?
What is your character, what do you think? I know I can be quick-tempered, but I calm down quickly, don't you?
What do you like about men? After all, all girls appreciate different qualities, I wonder what you like?
Does she know how to cook, which dish she considers the most delicious and successful;
What are her favorite perfumes, what brands do she like?
Did you commit stupid things for which you are still ashamed?
What do you like more - mountains and nature or noisy, crazy parties?
If you had to choose, which of your five senses would you lose?
Does she believe in fate, in the fact that it is predetermined?
Can friendship exist between opposite sexes? (with a small age difference, of course)
What is she most embarrassed about in life, about what complex?
If she won 10 million rubles in the lottery - how would she manage the money?
What kind of sport did you do and what would you like to do, and does sport attract her in general?
What courses would I like to attend (for the soul, not for earnings);
What bad habits irritate her in others?
Does she like night walks in a sleeping summer city until the morning?
What is your favorite season and what attracts you the most?
Who of the stars or YouTube bloggers would you like to talk to and about what?
Does she like to ride a bike or does she prefer roller skates?
What extreme event would you like to experience? (parachute jump, from "bungee", in a wind tunnel, etc.)
What animal did she have, what would she like to have, who does she like more - cats or dogs?
Who does he consider the greatest musician of all time?

There are an infinite number of such questions and suggestions. But you need to ask them tactfully, you can not get into the topic, but fall out of favor.

Sometimes you get lost when talking with a friend, girlfriend, neighbor, colleague, or in line to see a doctor. This is the very moment when a person wants to communicate, but an uncomfortable pause hangs in the air. How can you smooth it out?

Talk about politics. It is believed that it is best to avoid such directions, but they are often the most beloved. Political issues are of concern to many; it is not necessary to discuss specific individuals or the current situation here. You can intelligently talk about what an ideal state should be, about the role of certain historical events in the modern world. The main thing is that your interlocutor is adequate and patient;
Discuss various little things: cooking, technology, favorite writers and problems in the housing and utilities sector;
Ask a person who believes in life after death, discuss composers and poets who have dealt with this topic in their works: Alexey Zaev, Nick Drake, etc. Discuss in what form each of you would like to end your existence.

And one more interesting conversation - about dreams and goals, everyone can talk about it. Starting a conversation with the words: "What are you dreaming about?" - you can be calm that you won't miss.

5 topics for conversation with a man

It can be difficult to get a guy interested, they often have a prejudiced attitude towards female “chatter”. Many of them believe that women can only collect and dissolve gossip.

You need to be able to dispel this belief:

Find out everything about his hobby and show your awareness of this issue. You may not be interested in football, but if you are worried about this guy, try to genuinely share your hobby with him. Or say: "Oh, I don't understand anything about this yet, tell me, I'm interested" - and get your ears ready. But listen carefully, an indifferent nod will be quickly recognized;
Gadgets - laptops, tablets, phones and other devices. You can ask a question about the intricacies of the operation of this or that equipment and listen to an authoritative opinion, supporting it or denying it. And it doesn't matter that you yourself know everything and know how, it is not necessary to admit it;
Art - surprise him with your knowledge in this field. Today girls, unfortunately, have little interest in painting or music, but you are not like that. Since childhood, your mother instilled in you the necessary knowledge about composers and poets, and now you listen and read famous classics, both modern and not so much.

And of course, be a grateful listener, men do not like to be ignored.

What not to talk about with a guy

Men have their weak points, which do not need to be pressed. They are often more touchy than girls, therefore try to avoid the following topics:

Past partners and your betrayal. If in a previous relationship there was a betrayal on your part, do not tell the person who is now opposite about it. Of course, you can tell a friend about your misadventures, but a guy shouldn't;
Don't criticize his body... They love to be praised, even if there is already a beer belly and a crow's nest on their head, never talk about it. It is better to silently correct the shortcomings, suggest visiting a familiar hairdresser and going to the gym together so that you do not get bored;
Don't say you doubt him... He claims that he will soon fly to the moon - so it will be so. The uncertainty of a close woman unsettles and annoys men;
Don't tell me that you would like to spend time with that handsome over there at the next table - this is a heavy blow to your pride. Even if the guy passing by really liked it, the one next to it is always better.

Yes, one should talk with them about the sublime, avoiding many directions. But if you manage to interest, pick up the right topics, you will become a precious find for him.

A few secrets on how to keep up a conversation

Finding a suitable theme is important, but you also need to be able to apply it in the right place at the right time, so as not to offend anyone, and to protect yourself.

Here's how to do it:

The main rule is to let your opponent talk. Ask his opinion, take an interest in his life;
Communicate with the first and old acquaintances in different ways. Do not discuss "slippery" topics with strangers: religion, family relationships, money, health. With those you know, but have not seen for a long time, talk about work and children, is there an addition to the family, what position the person is in;
Pay attention to how the interlocutor reacts to certain phrases. It is always clear that if a person does not like some words, then leave this conversation;
Compliment your success stories. For example: "I am very interested how you learned to play the piano like that", "You are in great physical shape, how did you manage to achieve such a result?"

The main thing is natural attention, do not put a mask of friendliness on your face, sincerely rejoice at your opponent.

We have described a variety of interesting topics for conversation, about travel, animals and hobbies, for every taste. Remember a few in reserve, as it often happens that at the right moment they fly out of my head.

Video: how to avoid awkward pauses in conversations?

In this video, psychologist Timur Khazanov will tell you about several tricks that will help you avoid awkward silence in any conversation:

And in this video, psychologist Maria Nosova will tell you how to find interesting topics for conversation:

What are the best topics for conversation with a guy? What to talk about on a first date? How to behave in an unfamiliar company? We are ready to tell you about all this. After reading the information, you will not feel embarrassed when the situation develops in such a way that you are left alone with a stranger. Of course, you may not start a conversation at all, but more often than not, for some reason, you still need to start it. Let's put aside the embarrassment and try to find topics for communication.

Introduce yourself to an unfamiliar company!

Or ask to introduce you to a stranger (or people). It’s good if it’s a small presentation: “This is Natalya, we go to trainings together” or “My friend works in real estate”. Such representations give a course to the conversation, cause mutual friendliness, especially when interests coincide. Most likely, the topic will be developed, thanks to clarifying questions, both on your part and on the part of the interlocutor.

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Ways to find a topic of conversation

By the way, in the old days, all persons of noble blood knew how to break the awkward silence. This art was taught along with French, dance and etiquette. Now, in a situation where you need to say something, many do not know how to find a topic for conversation. Young people today are not taught this either at school or at home. Many girls are embarrassed, not knowing what to pick up topics for conversation with a guy. And guys sometimes don't know what to talk about with a girl. But we know several ways.

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1) Find something good in the interlocutor

Look at the person who, by chance or at your request, was next to you. What is he? Find in him what makes him different from others, and note it to yourself. Perhaps you will not attach any importance to this, but your face will change significantly. The interlocutor will see genuine interest on your part, since this is noticeable even with the naked eye. The most unfriendly interlocutor will feel this and will give you their favor. Don't forget to compliment in return. If it's a woman, you can compliment her clothes or hairstyle. Such a remark will tune in to a positive perception of the environment.

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2) Look for a topic of conversation around you

If you are at a party, you can discuss contests, the number of guests, the mood of the heroes of the occasion. Even if you think out loud about the objects that surround you, it can be a good topic of conversation. If the person you are talking to is of the opposite sex, you can ask typical female or male questions. So, a woman can be asked what she thinks about the design of the room. You can talk to a man about automotive topics. In addition, you can offer drinks to the interlocutor to somehow strike up a conversation.

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3) Find common interests

Mayer Rothschild once said the famous phrase: "Who owns information, he owns the world." The statement has not lost its relevance yet. So, if you check the news before going to a party, you will be aware of the latest current events, which means you can easily strike up a conversation and support it. Topics related to your city are considered particularly successful. Preparing the streets for any holiday, weather forecast, the arrival of one of the artists or politicians. When such important topics related to the native year are discussed, few are left on the sidelines. Most people jump into conversation immediately. If you find that you are in some way similar to the interlocutor, tell about it. “And I also have a child the same age as yours”, “It turns out that you and I went to the same school!”, “I also love indoor plants”. Such remarks contribute to the fact that the conversation flows easily and freely, without unnecessary pauses. In addition, new topics of conversation are emerging.

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4) Feel free to ask questions

But avoid questions that require a monosyllabic “yes” or “no” answer. Ask the interlocutor where he works, what he enjoys. Psychologists say that all people love to talk about themselves, and therefore willingly make contact. But when asking questions, do not forget about the rules of ethics. So, it is not customary to ask questions that relate to the appearance of the interlocutor, his material support. Don't ask about salary, height, weight, size. Under no circumstances should you criticize the relatives, friends and loved ones of the person you are talking to if you do not want to make an enemy for yourself.

Talk about abstract topics. But do not be embarrassed if the interlocutor stubbornly continues to play in silence, do not take his coldness personally. Perhaps silence is one of the features of his temperament, or the person is simply not in the mood. In this case, it is better to stop pestering him.

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Non-verbal communication for the liking of the interlocutor

It is not difficult to adapt to the gestures and facial expressions to the interlocutor. If you manage to do this, the person will be able to speak openly and confidentially with you. Psychologists identify several non-verbal ways to win over a person and strike up a conversation with him.

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"I look at you like in a mirror"

If you copy the gestures, facial expressions, words of the interlocutor, you will subconsciously demonstrate to him that you are comfortable enough next to him. Just imagine that you are a mirror image of your interlocutor. If he put his right foot on his left, do the opposite: put his left foot on the right. This does not attract too much attention, but they are part of non-verbal communication. Psychologists do not recommend copying "protective" gestures (for example, crossing arms over the chest), since the interlocutor may perceive them as hostile.

After a few minutes of communication with his "mirror", the interlocutor willy-nilly will take you "for his". After all, the same poses indicate that people are somewhat similar. The corresponding signal goes to the brain, and the person begins to treat the interlocutor friendly.

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"I Hear Our Breath"

Another way to tune in to the “wave” of the interlocutor is to adjust to his breathing. Then communication will become trusting at a subconscious level. You can breathe in time with the interlocutor, having previously observed the rhythm of his breathing. Or you can simply swing your leg to the rhythm of the interlocutor's breathing or speak to the beat of his breathing - try to pronounce your phrases as he exhales. To understand the rhythm in which your interlocutor is breathing, observe his chest.

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Best conversation topics with a guy

By the will of fate, you found yourself alone with a person you like. But out of excitement, you cannot utter a word, and there is no need to talk about non-verbal communication. Try to quickly figure out what you already know about this guy and think about what topics he might be interested in. Ask questions (remembering the norms of ethics), talk about yourself (only carefully controlling so that the dialogue with the guy does not turn into a monologue about your life). If you have something in common in life (work, study, hobbies) - great, discuss this aspect. If there is nothing in common, remember these topics, perhaps they will be suitable for the situation:

music (what performers he likes, why);
cinema (you can discuss new items);
sports (what kind of sport he is interested in, whether he is a fan of any football team);
favorite places in your city;
work or study (if there is a desire to talk about it);
pets.

Try to discuss any topic so that the conversation does not look like an interrogation. It is better to first tell about yourself (I watched such and such a movie last week), and then ask about the guy's attitude to the same events.

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Videos about types of people and the rules of communication with them

Whoever you communicate with, often call the person by name. This disposes the interlocutor to you on an unconscious level. After all, the sounds of your own name are the most pleasant sounds for any person.