The health of adolescents is a criterion that worries all parents, without exception. It is during this period of the formation of a child that hormonal disruptions occur, the body begins to grow with a vengeance, the size of the brain increases dramatically, which is characteristic only of infancy and adolescence. Naturally, in all this "mess" of rearrangements inside the child's body, there are also cardinal changes in body weight.

Of course, the health of adolescents largely depends on nutrition during this period, on whether a sufficient amount of nutrients and vitamins for growth and brain activity at school enters the child's body. And most often, parents and adolescents themselves complain about the appearance of excess weight during this period. I wrote how to deal with this problem. In this post, we will look at the opposite problem - low weight. And the question: "How can a child gain weight?", Usually arises after puberty.

I'm not beautiful!!!

At this age, every teenager has questions about his appearance, in which something does not suit him. This happens even with perfectly-looking children. In most cases, it is the figure that develops complexes. How to gain weight as a teenager and where to get the necessary information? But in order to answer these questions, you need to understand the reasons for the thinness of the child.

What is the reason?

Fast growth. This happens to every teenager, especially this fact is reflected in boys 13 - 15 years old. In just a few months, the child grows by 10 cm. But the muscle mass, as a rule, simply does not keep up with such a sudden growth of the body itself. It is for this reason that it seems that the boy has dramatically and greatly lost weight. This is not scary, do not panic ahead of time and do not rush to the doctor. Over time, everything will return to normal.

Poor appetite. Teenagers eat little, and this is a common problem. It would seem that start eating more and the weight will return to normal. However, forcing the child to eat more, punishing him for this and conflict is not an option. Try to understand why the child has lost appetite. This can be associated with experiences, with the first falling in love, with problems with peers or teachers. Teenagers think differently from adults; they distort reality to the point of grotesque. What seems like a trifling problem to an adult is tantamount to the end of the world for a teenager. Therefore, to begin with, try to get to the bottom of the truth and have a heart-to-heart talk with your child.

Illness, stress. Nervous experiences and a scandalous situation in the family can provoke metabolic disorders, which affects all the activities of the human body. In such situations, it is better to consult a pediatrician for advice.

Physical Education. Small weight can also provoke hyperactivity of the child, his love for sports and outdoor games. This is great, you just need to adjust the diet.

How to gain weight for a teenager?

1 Include foods rich in fiber, protein, and carbohydrates in your teen's diet to address this problem. These are fish, meat, poultry, nuts, bread, pasta, legumes. Diversify the table with vegetables, berries and fruits.

2 A teenager needs to eat not three, but five times a day.

3 Limit fried and fatty foods in your diet. Her stomach takes a long time to digest, so the feeling of satiety lasts longer. You should not often eat fast food and fast food.

4 You can build muscle under the guidance of an experienced trainer in the gym. Otherwise, weight can be gained, but muscle mass will not develop. Thus, fat will be deposited in unnecessary places.

Now you know how to put on weight for a child, all that remains is to take action. Good luck!

Teenage overeating is a serious problem. © Shutterstock

Improper nutrition, too abundant or, on the contrary, insufficient, prevents a teenager from developing correctly. Parents often think that a teenager eats too much. Find out if you should panic about this.

Do not be upset in advance and do not diagnose yourself. Maybe the child is eating a lot, because he is just actively growing? Find out if your teen's overeating is related to psychological problems.

A nervous disorder in which a person cannot control himself by eating large amounts of food in a short period of time is called binge eating disorder.

Causes of Binge Eating in Teens

A child's binge eating disorder can be a response to intense adolescent stress. This is understandable: in adolescence, a child undergoes strong hormonal changes.

Girls and boys begin not only to fully realize, but also to feel their gender.

Hence, various complexes associated with imperfections in appearance, clothing, or other factors. Severe stress can be caused by problems in a teen's love life. Take a closer look, maybe your child suffers from unrequited love and he really needs your support.

If bouts of overeating are repeated often, it is necessary to understand their causes and consult a psychologist.

Is binge eating a sign of addiction?

© Shutterstock Of course, all teens can overeat once.

But if the child constantly drastically empties the refrigerator, while his depressive and nervous mood suddenly changes to joyful and upbeat, it is worthwhile to be wary.

Binge eating can be a sign of drug use.

Of course, you cannot immediately rush at a teenager with accusations and questions. It is necessary to observe the child, to give him as much attention as possible. And establish the cause of overeating.

One step from overeating to bulimia

Bulimia is also an eating disorder. A person who has bulimia constantly overeats and feels guilty about it. Especially teenage girls who are constantly striving to lose weight.

In pursuit of the gold standard of 90-60-90, teenage girls try to get rid of what they have eaten in different ways: by inducing vomiting, with the help of laxatives and diuretics, enemas and complete starvation.

© Shutterstock After a complete forced detoxification, the body of a teenager needs to replenish stocks. Therefore, the teenager again has a nervous breakdown and an attack of overeating.

It is urgent to take the teenager to the doctor if your child closes in the bathroom after a hearty dinner, makes enemas for himself, takes laxatives, and induces vomiting.

Katerina Demina, consultant psychologist:

Why doesn't he want anything?

This phenomenon has gained momentum in the last seven years. A whole lot of young people have grown up who “want nothing”. No money, no career, no personal life. They sit for days at computers, they are not interested in girls (perhaps just a little, so as not to strain).

They are not going to work at all. As a rule, they are satisfied with the life that they already have - their parents' apartment, a little money for cigarettes, beer. Not more. What's wrong with them?

Sasha was brought to a consultation by her mother. An excellent 15-year-old guy, the dream of any girl: athletic, tongue hanging, not rude, lively eyes, vocabulary not like Ellochka the cannibal, plays tennis and the guitar. Mom's main complaint, just the cry of a tortured soul: "Why doesn't he want anything?"

Details of the story

What do you mean "nothing", I'm interested. Nothing at all? Or does he still want to eat, sleep, walk, play, watch a movie? It turns out that Sasha does not want to do anything from the list of "normal" things for a teenager. That is:

1. Learn;

2. To work;

3. Take courses

4. Dating girls;

5. Help mom with housework;

6. And even go on vacation with my mother.

Mom is in anguish and despair. A hefty man has grown up, and the use of him is like a goat of milk. Mom all her life for him, everything only for his good, she refused everything, took on any work, took to the circles, drove to the expensive sections, sent them to language camps abroad - and he first sleeps until lunch, then turns on the computer and until nights in toys drives. And she had hoped that he would grow up and she would feel better.

I keep asking. Who is the family made of? Who makes money in it? What are their functions?

It turns out that Sasha's mother has been alone for a long time, divorced when he was five years old, “my father was exactly the same lazy person, maybe this is genetically transmitted?”. She works, works a lot, because she has to support three (herself, grandmother and Sasha), comes home at night, tired to death.

The house is kept by my grandmother, she is engaged in the household, and is watching over Sasha. Only the trouble is - Sasha completely got out of his hands, he does not obey his grandmother, does not even snarl, just ignores him. He goes to school when he wants to, when he doesn't want - he doesn't go. The army threatens him, but it does not seem to bother him in the least. He does not make the slightest effort to get even a little better, although all teachers unanimously insist that he has a golden head and abilities.

The school is from the elite, state-owned, with a history. But in order to stay in it, you have to take tutors in basic subjects. And all the same, twos in a quarter may be excluded.

She doesn't do anything around the house, she doesn't even wash a cup after herself, grandmother has to carry heavy bags of groceries from the store with a stick, and then she carries food to his computer on a tray.

“What’s the matter with him? - Mom is almost crying. “I gave him my whole life.”

Boy

Next time I see Sasha alone. Indeed, a good boy, handsome, fashionably and expensively dressed, but not provocative. Something too good. He's somehow lifeless. A picture in a girls' magazine, glamorous prince, if only there was a pimple somewhere or something.

He is friendly with me, politely, with all his appearance demonstrates openness and willingness to cooperate. Ugh, I feel like a character on an American TV show for teenagers: the main character at a psychoanalyst's appointment. I would like to say something obscenely. Okay, let's remember who the pro is.
Believe it or not, he almost word for word reproduces my mother's text. A 15-year-old boy says, like a schoolteacher, “I'm lazy. My laziness prevents me from achieving my goals. And I am also very unassembled, I can stare at one point and sit for an hour. "

What do you want yourself?

He doesn't want anything special. The school is boring, the lessons are stupid, although the teachers are cool, the best. There are no close friends, no girls either. There are no plans.

That is, he is not going to make humanity happy in any of the 1539 ways known to civilization, he does not plan to become a megastar, he does not need wealth, career growth and achievements. He doesn't need anything at all. Thank you, we have everything.

Slowly, a picture begins to emerge, I will not say that it was very unexpected for me.

From about three years old, Sasha studied. First by preparing for school, swimming and English. Then I went to school - equestrian sport was added.

Now, in addition to studying at the Mathematical Lyceum, he attends English courses at MGIMO, two sports sections and a tutor. He doesn't walk in the yard, doesn't watch the TV set - there is no time. The computer, which my mother complains about, plays only during the holidays, and even then not every day.

Why doesn't he want anything?

Formally, all these classes were voluntarily chosen by Sasha. But when I ask what he would like to do if he didn't have to study, he says "play the guitar." (Options heard from other respondents: playing football, playing on a computer, doing nothing, just walking). Play. Let's remember this answer and move on.

What's the matter with him

You know, I have three such clients a week. Almost every appeal about a boy between the ages of 13 and 19 is about this: he wants nothing.

In each such case, I see the same picture: an active, energetic, ambitious mother, an absent dad, at home or grandmother, or a nanny-housekeeper. More often, it's a grandmother.

The family is distorted: the mother takes the role of a man in the house. She is the breadwinner, she makes all decisions, contacts the outside world, protects, if necessary. But she is not at home, she is in the fields and on the hunt.

The fire in the hearth is supported by the grandmother, only she has no levers of power in relation to their "common" child, he may not obey and be rude. If it were mom and dad, dad would come home from work in the evening, mom would complain to him about her son's inappropriate behavior, dad would poke him - and all the love. And here you can complain, but there is no one to do it.

Mom tries to give her son everything, everything: the most fashionable entertainment, the most necessary developmental activities, any gifts and purchases. And the son is not happy. And over and over again this chorus sounds: "wants nothing."

And after a while my question starts to itch inside me: “When will he want something? If for a long time my mother wanted everything for him, marked, planned and did everything ”.
That's when a five-year-old kid sits at home alone, rolls a car on the carpet, plays, growls, buzzes, builds bridges and fortresses - at this moment desires begin to emerge and ripen in him, at first vague and unconscious, gradually forming into something concrete: I want a big fire department car with little men. Then he waits for mom or dad from work, expresses his desire and receives an answer. Usually: "Be patient until the New Year (birthday, payday)."

And you have to wait, endure, dream about this car before going to bed, anticipate the happiness of owning, imagine it (still a car) in all its details. Thus, the child learns to contact his inner world in terms of desires.

And what about Sasha (and all the other Sasha I deal with)? I wanted to - I wrote my mother an SMS, sent it - my mother ordered it via the Internet - in the evening they brought it.

Or vice versa: why do you need this car, you haven't done your homework, have you read two pages of a speech therapy ABC book? Once - and cut off the beginning of the tale. Everything. Dreaming no longer works.

These boys really have it all: the latest smartphones, the latest jeans, trips to the sea four times a year. But they have no opportunity to just kick the bald. Meanwhile, boredom is the most creative state of the soul, without it it is impossible to think of something to do.

The child must become bored and yearned for the need to move and act. And he is deprived of even the most elementary right to decide whether to go to the Maldives or not. Mom had already decided everything for him.

What parents say

At first, I listen to my parents for quite some time. Their claims, disappointments, resentments, guesses. It always starts with complaints like “we are everything to him, but he in return is nothing. The enumeration of what exactly “everything for him” is impressive. I’m learning about some things for the first time. For example, it never occurred to me that a 15-year-old boy could be taken to school by the hand. And until now I believed that the limit is the third class. Well, the fourth, for girls.

But it turns out that the worries and fears of mothers push them to strange actions. What if bad boys attack him? And they will teach him bad things (smoking, swearing with bad words, lying to his parents; the word “drugs” is often not pronounced, because it is very scary).

Often such an argument sounds like "You do understand what time we live in." To be honest, I don't really understand. It seems to me that times are always about the same, well, except for the very difficult ones, for example, when the war is going on right in your city.

In my time, it was mortally dangerous for an 11-year-old girl to walk alone through the wasteland. So we didn't go. We knew we didn't have to go there, and we followed the rules. And the maniacs were sexy, and sometimes robbed in the doorways.

But what was not there was a free press. Therefore, people learned the crime report from their acquaintances, according to the principle "one grandmother said." And as it passed through many mouths, the information became less intimidating and more blurry. Alien abduction type. Everyone has heard that this happens, but no one has seen.

When it is shown on TV, with details, close-up, it becomes the reality that is here, nearby, in your house. You see it with your own eyes - but admit, most of us have never seen a victim of a robbery ourselves?

The human psyche is not adapted to the daily observation of death, especially violent death. This causes severe trauma, and modern man does not know how to defend against it. Therefore, on the one hand, we seem to be more cynical, and on the other hand, we do not let children go outside. Because it's dangerous.

Most often, such helpless and lethargic children grow up with those parents who were independent from early childhood. Too old, too responsible, too early to be on their own.

From the first grade they came home on their own, the key on a ribbon around the neck, the lessons - themselves, to warm up the food - themselves, at best, the parents in the evening will ask: "What about your lessons?" For the whole summer, either to the camp, or to my grandmother in the village, where there was also no one to follow.
And then these children grew up, and perestroika happened. Complete change of everything: lifestyle, values, guidelines. There is something to be nervous about. But the generation adapted, survived, even became successful. The displaced and diligently unnoticed anxiety remained. And now everything fell in full on the head of the only child.

And the charges against the child are serious. Parents completely refuse to acknowledge their contribution to his (child's) development, they only complain bitterly: "Here I am in his years ...".

“At his age I already knew what I wanted from life, and in the 10th grade he was only interested in toys. I have been doing my homework since the third grade, and in the eighth grade he cannot sit down at the table until you fail him by the hand. My parents didn’t even know what kind of math program we had, but now I have to solve every example with it ”

All this is pronounced with the tragic intonation "Where is this world heading?" As if children should repeat the life path of their parents.

At this point, I begin to ask what kind of behavior they would like from their child. It turns out to be a rather funny list, sort of like a portrait of an ideal man:

1. To do everything myself;

2. To obey unquestioningly;

3. Shows initiative;

4. Was engaged in those circles that will be useful later in life;

5. Was empathetic and caring and was not selfish;

6. Was more assertive and punchy.

At the last points, I'm already sad. But the mom who makes the list is also sad: she has noticed a contradiction. "I want the impossible?" she asks sadly.

Yes, it’s a pity. Or singing or dancing. Either you have an obedient excellent botanist who agrees to everything, or an energetic, proactive, punchy C grade student. Either he sympathizes with you and supports you, or silently nods and walks past you towards his goal.

From somewhere came the idea that by doing the right thing with the child, you can somehow magically protect him from all future troubles. As I said, the benefits of numerous developmental activities are very relative.

The child misses a really important stage in development: play and relationships with peers. Boys do not learn to invent a game or activity for themselves, do not open up new territories (after all, it is dangerous there), do not fight, do not know how to gather a team around themselves.

Girls do not know anything about the "women's circle", although with creativity they are doing a little better: nevertheless, girls are more often sent to various needlework circles, and it is more difficult to "hammer" the need for social communication among girls.

In addition to child psychology, from old memory, I also study the Russian language and literature with schoolchildren. So, in pursuit of foreign languages, parents completely missed their native Russian language.

The vocabulary of modern adolescents, like that of Ellochka the Cannibal, is within a hundred. But they proudly declare: the child learns three foreign languages, including Chinese, and all with native speakers.

And children understand proverbs literally (“It’s not easy to catch a fish from a pond” - what is that about? ”-“ This is about fishing ”), they cannot do word-form analysis, they try to explain complex experiences on the fingers. Because the language is perceived in communication and from books. And not during lessons and sports activities.

What children say

“Nobody listens to me. I want to go home from school with friends, not with a nanny (chauffeur, escort). I have no time to watch TV, no time to play on my computer.

I have never been to the cinema with friends, only with my parents and their acquaintances. I am not allowed to visit the guys, and no one is allowed to visit me. Mom checks my briefcase, pockets, phone. If I stay at school for at least five minutes, my mother immediately calls. "

This is not a first grader's text. This is the 9th grade students say.

Look, complaints can be divided into two categories: violation of boundaries (“checks my portfolio, does not allow me to put on what I want”) and, relatively speaking, violence against a person (“nothing is allowed”). It seems that the parents did not notice that their children have already grown out of diapers.

It is possible, albeit harmful, to check the pockets of a first-grader - at least in order not to wash these pants along with the chewing gum. But for a 14-year-old person, it would be good to enter the room with a knock. Not with a formal knock - he knocked and entered, not waiting for an answer, but respecting his right to privacy.

Criticism of the hairstyle, the reminder “Go wash yourself, otherwise you smell bad”, the requirement to put on a warm jacket - all this signals the teenager: “You are still small, you have no voice, we will decide everything for you”. Although we just wanted to save him from colds. And it smells really bad.

I cannot believe that there are still such parents who have not heard: for a teenager, the most important part of life is communication with peers. But this means that the child gets out of parental control, the parents cease to be the ultimate truth.

The creative energy of the child is blocked in this way. After all, if he is forbidden to want what he really needs, he gives up desires altogether. Think how scary it is to want nothing. What for? All the same, they will not be allowed, they will be prohibited, they will explain that it is harmful and dangerous, “go do your homework better”.

Our world is far from perfect, it is really unsafe, there is evil and chaos in it. But we somehow live in it. We allow ourselves to love (although this is an adventure with an unpredictable plot), we change jobs and housing, we go through crises inside and out. Why don't you let your children live?

I have a suspicion that in those families where there are similar problems with children, parents do not feel their safety. Their life is too stressful, the level of stress exceeds the adaptive capacity of the body. And so I want at least the child to live in peace and harmony.
And the child does not want peace. She needs storms, accomplishments and feats. Otherwise, the child lies down on the sofa, refuses everything and ceases to please the eye.

What to do

As always: discuss, make a plan, stick to it. First, remember what your child asked before and then stopped. I am quite convinced that an hour-long daily “absolutely useless” walk with friends is a prerequisite for the mental health of a teenager.

You will be surprised, but the senseless "loafing in the box" (watching music and entertainment channels) is necessary for our children too. They go into a kind of trance, a meditative state during which they learn something about themselves. Not about artists, stars and show business. About myself.

The same can be said about computer games, social networks, telephone conversations. This is terribly infuriating, but you have to survive. It is possible and necessary to restrict, to introduce some kind of framework and rules, but to totally prohibit the inner life of a child is criminal and shortsighted.

If he does not learn this lesson now, he will cover it later: with a midlife crisis, burnout at 35, unwillingness to take responsibility for the family, etc.

Because I missed it. Wandered aimlessly through the streets. Didn't watch all the stupid comedies in time, didn't laugh at Beavis and Butt-head.

I know a boy who drove his parents to white heat by lying for hours in his room and banging a tennis ball on the wall. Quietly, not much. It was not the knocking that irritated them, but the fact that he was not doing anything. Now he is 30, he is quite a good man, he is married, works, active. He needed to be in his shell at the age of 15.

On the other hand, as a rule, these children are catastrophically underloaded with life. All they do is learn. They don't go to the grocery store for the whole family, they don't wash the floor, they don't fix electrical appliances.

Therefore, I would give them more freedom on the inside and limit them on the outside. That is, you yourself decide what you will dress in and what you will do besides studying, but at the same time - here is a list of household chores, get started. By the way, the boys are great cooks. And they know how to iron. And the gravity is dragged like.

Instructions

Find out why your growing son or daughter is experiencing a sudden loss of appetite. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the daughter suddenly fell in love and now protects the figure, and the son thought that he was too fat and therefore he decided to lose weight. That is, first of all, take care of the psychological state of the child, find out if he needs the help of a child, your parental understanding.

Eliminate the possibility of diseases such as disruption of the digestive tract, pancreas. Find out if the endocrinological system of the body is normal, whether the teenager is experiencing stress, nervous overstrain. And then proceed with the following methods to improve your appetite.

Introduce vitamin formulations or dietary supplements containing zinc into the child's diet. Lack of zinc in the body disrupts taste, smell, and reduces appetite. With the normalization of the amount of zinc in the body, appetite will be restored within 1-2 months from the start of taking the drug. Vitamin preparations containing citric and succinic acids also increase appetite.

Try to keep your teen physically active after school. Register him in the sports section, for swimming, walk more with him, walk in the fresh air. If he loves animals, buy him a big dog to walk with it twice every day. Remember that a sedentary lifestyle reduces appetite in children.

Serve dishes beautifully, make them colorful, decorate beautifully, so that the child would be interested in taking up food. Do not punish uneaten food or unwillingness to eat. Do not force the child to eat if he does not want it, but also try not to let him snack on junk food on the go, washing it down with cola.

Do not keep unhealthy foods and drinks that destroy your appetite in the house, such as sausages, sausages, chips, soda, candy, cookies, cakes.

note

Many parents noticed that school summer camps children always have an excellent appetite. This is achieved not only by increased physical exertion of children, but also by the regime to which the entire camp is adjusted. Enter a certain mode in your home, in which time for rest, food, walk, lessons will be distributed over the hours. Make sure that the child strictly adheres to the regime established by the parents.

Every mother, at least sometimes, is faced with the fact that her child does not eat well, refuses food. Improper nutrition can lead to serious disorders of the gastrointestinal tract, as well as other diseases, so every mother should take timely measures to improve a baby to restore a normal diet. What are the reasons for the loss of children appetite?

Instructions

From birth, listen to the needs and feed him on demand, taking breaks for night sleep. Habitual mode based on your own biorhythms soothes baby, but his appetite may sharply deteriorate if this regime was violated for some reason.

Never break your baby's normal feeding routine. In addition, do not give your child sweet water or tea before meals - otherwise, he will not be able to get enough milk, will not be satiated and will feel hunger in the future. Drink baby liquid only and only in hot weather.

If your appetite goes bad baby perhaps the reason is the sweet fruit puree you gave your child at the wrong time. When he is full, he refuses mother's milk. In addition, pay attention to your own diet - if the taste of milk has changed for some reason, the child may also refuse food. Keep track of your diet and don't include unexpected, harsh foods.

Another reason for the decline appetite the baby may feel unwell. Pay attention to his health, and, if necessary, show baby pediatrician. Colds and sore throat seriously interfere with appetite, as the baby experiences discomfort when trying to suckle milk with congestion. Remember to clear your nose before feeding baby and bury drops in it.

If loss appetite at baby due to the fact that he has teeth - you have no cause for concern. When the teeth erupt, the baby will start eating again as well as before.

The older the child, the greater the absence appetite depends on a particular product that the child does not like. Find out what your child loves the most, and based on this, shape the diet. Don't kill your appetite baby sweets, sweets and cookies.

Do not force the baby to eat by standing over him porridge. Give your child the opportunity to eat on their own - he will eat as much food as he wants. Coercion, on the other hand, can disrupt the entire eating process.

Provide your child with outdoor games and an active lifestyle, constantly walk in the fresh air - when tired, he will gladly replenish his strength with food.

Involve baby in the feeding process - let him hold a spoon and a mug, give him his own plate. Interest in new subjects will awaken baby appetite.

Train as early as possible baby to the ritual of eating in a playful way, sitting at the table. It will help you get rid of feeding problems. baby as he grows up.

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When breastfeeding, a woman does not see exactly how much her baby ate, therefore, there are no special worries about nutrition. But as soon as the time comes for the introduction of complementary foods, the mother begins to count the spoons and grams of food left on the plate, not eaten by the child, which undoubtedly escalates the situation and does not in the best way affect the mother's mood and appetite crumbs.

Instructions

The reasons for the refusal of the baby from food may be its novelty, a sharp color or smell, etc. However, if the child refuses to eat for a long time, you should tell the doctor about this, perhaps this is a signal of the presence of some kind of disease. Remember, appetite is an important indicator of the baby's health. Overwork, overheating, emotional stress, etc. also reduce appetite.

First of all, you should calm down and not panic about the fact that the baby eats little. The grams that are not eaten today can be overloaded tomorrow, after all, the appetite of an adult also changes from day to day. According to medical standards, a child up to of the year must consume food in the amount of 1/10 of his weight per day. Whether your baby is enough, you can calculate using the formula: amount of food * volume of food per feeding = 1/10 of the weight of the crumbs.

"So what do you want? Adolescence!" How often can you hear these words in the conversation of parents, girlfriends, even teachers. The teenager is trying to somehow express himself, this is somehow often not like the loved ones around him, who cannot find the words to talk about what is happening with the boy or girl. The teenager, in response to the eternal appeals to “think what you are doing,” “to take hold of your head,” etc. And now relations in the family are already deteriorating, studies are neglected, there are no desires - the young man begins to lose his bearings in life and interest in this life itself. Ask the modern teenager "What do you want?" The answers will be material and they will be distributed in the near future. A modern teenager does not want to put an effort into his life, his motto is “I want everything to be and nothing for it”, they don’t read, don’t go in for sports, don’t go to museums and have even stopped walking around the city. The sphere of activity of the average teenager: a computer-internet shop near the entrance. Many of them feel that they are not needed by anyone, because from the outside world they receive only "jabs and kicks".

What happens to a teenager? Physically, changes occur in all body systems. The musculoskeletal system is actively formed. The main changes occur in the endocrine system, hormones that are responsible for all systems are actively working, new ones that are responsible for the sexual function of the body begin to be produced. Under the influence of these hormones, changes occur in the cardiovascular system: the levels of arterial and venous pressure, the rhythm of heart contractions change. Adolescents often experience discomfort in the heart area (pain, tingling, pressure, palpitations). Teenagers are more susceptible to the appearance of various chronic diseases, due to all the same hormones, under the influence of which the immune system becomes weakened in adolescence. The respiratory and digestive systems change due to the growth of muscle tissue and hormones. The teenager should eat right and spend more time outdoors. The human nervous system undergoes the strongest changes: emotional, behavioral reactions change, a teenager can become more aggressive, unrestrained, or, on the contrary, withdrawn, touchy, tearful. Most often, a teenager does not appreciate the changes that are happening to him. All these changes are visible to close people, and the task of these people is to help the teenager cope with them.

Adolescence begins and goes by differently for everyone. It is generally accepted that for girls the transitional (adolescence) age begins at 12-13 years old, for boys at 14-15 years old, ends by 17-18 years old. In fact, for someone, it may start at 11 and hardly complete by 20, these processes are individual, as well as the help that yesterday's child needs too. However, there are some ways you can make it easier for your teenager to transition into adulthood.

It is important for physical development that the teenager eats well. "He refuses to eat soup, does not want to eat all the time" Yes, but try not to offer him to eat, and just make a very tasty soup (in his understanding, delicious, most often it is soup without fat, without long rags of cabbage, without any additives like broccoli and other peculiar products that adults give us spice in food, but they do not like) or the second. Try to let the teenager spend more time outdoors, it is important here, not on a bench with a beer, but with friends in the woods, on the playground, skiing, etc. You can arrange a family trip with a lot of his or her friends, for example, and someone has a long-desired dog. It is also important to engage in the physical development of a teenager: any physical activity is useful for both boys and girls, swimming pools with each other and with parents, classes in sections, comparing their capabilities with those of their parents (which is also useful for parents, by the way). In the body, helping a teenager is not so difficult, psychologically it is more difficult.

The mental state of a teenager becomes unbalanced: "rude", "daring", "denies everything", "does not obey", "deceives", "does not want anything", "is silent", etc. Most often, a teenager manifests himself in this way. How can parents change this situation? You need to start from birth, carefully and with love, but at the same time clearly and strictly build your relationship with the child, be a friend and mentor for him, protection and support. In such cases, adolescence passes imperceptibly for everyone, and a grateful child becomes an adult self-sufficient person. Sometimes the child grew up, grew up and suddenly "rebelled", dear parents, a question for you! You need to learn to communicate with an adult child - a teenager, now he will prove to you that he is stronger, that he can make his own decisions, decide for himself when and with whom he comes home, and so on. Your task now is to create a relationship with a teenager, it is difficult, but still possible.

What makes them naughty? Under the influence of hormonal and physiological changes, adolescents change their behavior: they feel like adults and want to behave like adults, solve their problems on their own, with whom to be friends, who to be and what to do. Psychologically, teenagers are not yet adults (just, please, do not use this quote in a conversation with a teenager, he will be very offended by you J), but they really want to prove the opposite to everyone.

The main mistakes of parents: “crush” the child with their power (punish them so that they remember), prohibit everything, leave to play in silence (“You don’t tell anything, and I won’t talk to you!”), Wave your hand “I grew up and he'll grow up somehow. "

How can you help them? Try to create a favorable environment for your communication: do not shout, be calm and balanced yourself. Tell about what stupid things you did yourself, how your parents behaved. Talk openly and honestly about problems (deuces, truancy, torn pants, bad habits) - show that you are worried that you are ready to help, offer options, explain, punish, but punish clearly for the child. I will give an example, if a child receives a grandiose scandal for a deuce, a blow to the head with this diary and a shout that you will be a janitor, he will hide and you will never know why, and why he received this very unfortunate deuce, then the teenager will sulk for a long time, You worry for a long time, but the situation will not be resolved. And if you ask what he himself thinks about this, did not understand something or listened or did not have enough time to learn the lessons, how can you help him, how he himself thinks to fix it, the situation will be completely different. With regard to this deuce or any other problem, he upset you, you are even unhappy with him, because you know how capable he is, how he grasps everything, but in all other respects you love him and do not let him go to the cinema today so that he has more preparation time. This is understandable and open, there are no accusations in this way out of the situation, there is no belittling of the child's dignity, but there is support for his own decisions and the message “we love you”. Always and in all situations, name your feelings, and communicate with the child only when he has moved away from the violent emotions that you will definitely see in a teenager. An hour or two later, offer to drink tea, tell us what emotions you experienced when he (or she), annoyed, came from school and locked himself in the room, ask how are you, if something happened, talk to him. I'm sure you will succeed!