First meeting with future son-in-law. Meeting your boyfriend's daughter

Conduct the conversation in a warm and polite manner. Find a place to sit down and get to know each other better. It is very important that your boyfriend is involved in the conversation. This will minimize the risk of awkward silence and tension on both sides. Be kind and polite no matter how your daughter behaves. Try to talk primarily about her. Ask about her life, school, work, or hobby. Keep the conversation light and pleasant in the hope that this will be enough to release the tension.

• While you should be asking questions, try not to make it look like an interrogation. For example, if she is not very interested in talking about school, there is no need to continue the topic.

Make sure your boyfriend refreshes the conversation if awkwardness comes. It is very important that your boyfriend engages in the conversation until the conversation becomes more casual. If the daughter is not particularly talkative, you can ask him a question that will apply to both of them:

• "I hear you like to watch movies together. They say [new movie] is coming out soon. Should we three go to see it?"
• "When will you both be free next time? Maybe we can do something together?"

Do not forget to say goodbye that it was a pleasure for you to meet her. Say it even if it wasn't quite true. A warm attitude towards your daughter will serve you well in the future, so she will feel more comfortable in your company. You will also put yourself in a good light in your boyfriend's eyes.

Each parent wishes happiness to his child and wants to see his baby next to a worthy person whom she sincerely loves. My parents are for me the standard of ideal relationships. From my very birth, dad was the very wall that closed off all troubles and hardships. I always felt like a little princess who was loved no matter what. With my parents, we went through childhood whims, teenage tantrums, first falling in love, bitter tears and moments of joy. My parents have always been and remain my faithful companions in life.

But time flies inexorably forward. And the capricious baby turned into an adult, self-confident girl. I grew up, began to stand confidently on my feet and got married. But before the wedding, my husband had a hard time. Once I came home, said that I had found the man of my dreams and was ready to connect my life with him. This was followed by the stage of getting to know my chosen one, then everyone was worried and nervous. I felt the happiest in the world and my family saw it. However, the fear of the unknown remained.

Looking ahead, I will say that today my parents love and respect my husband very much. But then dad waited cautiously for the first meeting with him. The father wanted to talk like a man with his future son-in-law and find out his motives. And so we met ... The conversation turned out to be long, with a lot of questions and advice for the future. They talked about everything, about our family, about my husband's relatives, about his childhood and plans for life. At the end of the evening, dad summed up - we have a good son-in-law, you will succeed! And he was right, now I have a friendly and strong family, which I am very proud of.

What to ask your future son-in-law?

You can talk about a lot of things, each parent is interested in certain points. But there are questions that will help you get to know your future son-in-law a little better. It is difficult for parents to realize that their daughter will no longer live with them. Now the problems that dad solved will be solved by a new person in their family. How do you start to trust him? The answer is simple - communication is the very key to rapprochement. Not interrogation with partiality, but emotional communication. But there should be a couple of questions up my sleeve)

The first step is to find out the basic information regarding his family. You can talk about parents, friends, acquaintances. This will allow you to form a picture of what a person really is, how he lives and what his interests are. It is important to find out who his parents are and what kind of relationship has developed between them. Indeed, in the future, these people will also become an integral part of your family.

Tell us a little about yourself, about your relatives ...

What are your parents' names?

Where do mom and dad work?

Where were you born and raised?

What is your date of birth and what is your horoscope?

Do you have sisters and brothers? What are they doing?

Do you have a close relationship with your relatives?

Then you can smoothly move on to more delicate topics related directly to your daughter. After all, parents need to place their child in good, caring hands. It is important that not only the daughter truly loved her chosen one, but he also loved her.

How long have you known each other and where did you meet?

How quickly did an ordinary acquaintance develop into a closer relationship?

Why did you choose our daughter as your wife?

What qualities in girls do you like the most?

How do you like to spend your time?

What do you have in common and where you will never come to an agreement?

Have you ever been married?

Do you have children? If so, what is your relationship with them?

You can also find out everyday issues. This will help to find out whether the future son-in-law is an independent person or depends on his parents in everything. Indeed, to create a family, people must be ready not only morally, but also financially.

Do you live with your parents or separately?

Do you have an apartment or is it a rented apartment?

Who cooks for you, washes, cleans up?

How often do you invite your friends over?

Who do you choose clothes with in the store?

How often do you call your family?

Do your parents help you financially?

So we got to the financial issues. It is important for every responsible parent to understand whether the children will live independently or they will have to constantly help. Naturally, everyone needs support and support. Difficult moments are an integral part of life. But now is not about that. To create a separate unit of society, you need certain ambitions and a desire to “move mountains” for the welfare of your family. Therefore, it is worth finding out if the future son-in-law is ready to take responsibility for himself and become a worthy head of the family.

What is your education?

Do you plan to continue studying in the future?

Have you ever had a problem with the law?

Where are you currently working? How long have you held this position?

Do you have outstanding debts?

Are you planning to stay in your current job or are you looking for yourself in another industry?

How do you spend your free time?

Where do you go on vacation? What interesting happened to you?

What are your hobbies? Do you have any hobbies?

Do you like children? How soon are you planning your own?

Naturally, this list of questions is only approximate. It is important for each parent to learn something of their own. Create an atmosphere of warmth and soulfulness, then communication will be more honest. A future son-in-law shouldn't feel like being interrogated. And don't forget, love can do a lot! Trust the choice of your daughter, give her the opportunity to build a strong and friendly family on her own.

Is it worth starting?
If you are worried about meeting your daughter's lover, rest assured that this is absolutely normal. Loving parents want to be sure that their daughter is in good hands, so if you see a relationship growing stronger, you should definitely get to know each other in person. Take the initiative, invite your daughter to arrange a meeting, because often girls are embarrassed to acquaint their parents with gentlemen. You should not tune in to a bad outcome in advance: it is likely that after this meeting you will not have any suspicions.

How to prepare
So, the consent of the meeting participants has been received, there is no turning back. How do you prepare for this moment? The advice is very simple: call your mom! After all, once you were a young girl, with trepidation awaiting the acquaintance of your parents with the chosen one. Ask your mom to talk about how she felt that day, what doubts overcame her. The support of a loved one will do you good.

You can ask your daughter about her boyfriend in order to find out a little more about him: where and for whom he studies, what he enjoys, who his parents work for. This will give you a rough outline of the conversation.

What is not worth discussing
And here is a list of topics, when first meeting a young man's daughter:
- income and salaries of parents;
- childhood diseases, health problems;
- specific plans for your daughter;
- previous relationships of both your daughter and her boyfriend;
- family problems.

Conversations on such topics can be unpleasant for a young man, because he is as nervous as you are.

What to talk about
Try to keep relaxed and calm, because this is just an acquaintance with a boy the same age as your daughter. Ask about hobbies or hobbies, ask his opinion about movies, books, dancing, music - in short, about everything that interests your daughter. You will feel more comfortable if you are sure that the young people are interested in each other. Ask the young man to tell where he grew up, what school he went to. If you are not satisfied with his answers, try not to demonstrate this, so as not to offend any of the participants in the meeting.

Neutral territory
It remains only to set the date, time and place of your meeting. Most parents would not mind meeting at their home, because this way they will feel more confident. But psychologists recommend getting to know each other in neutral territory, for example, in the nearest cafe. For the first meeting, half an hour will be enough - this time is quite enough to form a more or less clear picture of each other.

Drawing conclusions
Discuss it with your daughter some time after the meeting. Tell us what you liked about her boyfriend, what his answers put you on guard. Ask your daughter how, in her opinion, the acquaintance went. Remember: the more benevolent and calmer you are, the more likely your daughter will trust you.

Have you already met your daughter's young man?

article from

Family and relationships> Daughters-mothers

Yes, dude, you'll have to meet her parents someday. Especially if everything is serious and cool with you. The most unpleasant thing about meeting with your parents is that they may not like you, and this may very well mean the end of the relationship. Therefore, you need to prepare well for the meeting.

1. Met by clothes

This advice is unlikely to be seriously groundbreaking, but it deserves a spot on this list. The first impression is always very important at any meeting. Parents, relatives, coming to work, meeting new people - most people stubbornly remember their first opinion about a person. And they stick to it, so no baseball caps, wrinkled T-shirts, shorts and past sloppiness. Dress neatly and not frivolously: shirts, polos, jeans, neutral T-shirts. Be shaved, moms love that. Iron your jeans and other trousers well. But do not dress too well, for example, in a suit: you may not believe it.

2. Rehearse the story of your first meeting

Yes, it is very important. Some of your relatives will definitely ask how you actually met. They ask them not only in order to find out the truth, but to check whether the version told by the girl agrees with the one that you will now tell. Of course, you must understand that the truth in the spirit of "we met in some creepy bar, drunk on the wood, squeezed in a dark corner for a long time, and then had sex in the toilet" is unlikely to please the parents. Therefore, we recommend that you do not forget to ask about the version of your acquaintance that the girl told her parents. It will be frustrating if your versions don't match.

3. Collect information

Going to meet a girl's parents is almost the same as going to an interview with a large (or not so big) company. You don’t go to a company without knowing its working conditions, where the company’s office is and how much will you be paid? You shouldn't just come to meet your parents either. You need to know the marital status of the spouses, whether they are divorced, whether this is a second marriage, whether you will get to know her father or stepfather, what other relatives there will be, whether there is a grandmother / grandfather, what relatives love, what are their names - all this you need exactly know! Who said it would be easy?

4. Make your mom love you

Oddly enough, but in most families, mothers are in charge. We do not mean families where there is no second parent, nor do we mean families where the father is frank. It's just that most often mothers are always a kind of gray cardinals who decide who is right, who is to blame and whether this dude is needed in our family. If you seriously think that your mother cannot influence the opinion of your girlfriend (like my girlfriend is an adult, she herself understands and knows everything), then you are very much mistaken, dude. One simple: “Daughter, did you see his look? He constantly looked at our silverware "or" Daughter, are you sure he's worthy of you? " make your girlfriend think hard. A good relationship with the girl's mom will help protect you from the anger of the girl and the rest of the family. Plus a constant reminder: "What a good guy you have, don't lose it!" Flattery (but not arrogant), good manners, compliments of her appearance and culinary talents, plus help with housework and cleaning the plates will help you gain Mom's trust.

5. Make her father your second

It's always harder for fathers to accept you. If you ever have a daughter, you will understand why. In short, dads tend to love daughters more than sons, and the thought of this dude fucking his little angel at night puts dads on their guard and turns them on a little against you. If mom gets to know you in a neutral or positive mood, then the father will most likely be somewhat negative towards you. Once I visited a friend of mine who was expecting the birth of a child, but did not yet know his gender. When it came to who he wants more, the dude said bluntly: "Son!" "Why?" I asked. "Because I'm going to go crazy with the idea that my girl will be fucked by some loser."

In order to have a good relationship with her father, it is worth finding out his interests, place of work, etc., and so on. If you have similar interests, you can happily keep up the conversation. If all goes well, you will spend a few hours talking about hunting, fishing, and hiking. Just don't lie!

6. Prepare some topics for conversation

There is nothing worse than awkward silence in the first minutes of meeting. Therefore, prepare a couple of topics to smooth out the awkward moments. It's always good to ask lots of questions and be interested in family life, but don't go overboard. You also need to be always ready for unexpected questions about your work, family, social status and interests. Common topics of conversation include: your job, sports, family, movies, current events, pets. You just need to find out if people really like to discuss it. There are topics to be avoided: politics, religion, money, etc. Until you understand what kind of sense of humor these people have (and whether they have it at all), you should not joke.

7. Bring a gift

It is ideal, of course, to bring a bottle of wine with you to any occasion, having previously learned the tastes of people. Flower arrangements, beautiful sets of sweets are also a great gift. You can also put a small postcard there.

8. Do not delay and follow the actions

Why do girls introduce boys to their parents? Just for the sake of bro, to show that they see a future in your relationship and want more. It's one hundred percent, dude! This is an axiom! But after meeting with her parents, not only the girl, but also her parents will expect much more active actions from you: cohabitation, engagement, wedding. If the period of acquaintance and meeting with your parents is too long, you should know that you become a gradual burden for them, they sincerely do not understand what the hell you are doing in their house and why you are eating their food.

On your first date with your parents, do more nice little things. Take care of your friend and her mom at the table, move the table, take the plates to the kitchen and help her mom wash them. You also need to let your parents understand that in this girl you are interested not only in the breasts and ass, but also in everything else, so keep your eyes away from her neckline, even though it looks amazing in this T-shirt.

When our children grow up, we do not notice this. And it often happens that a seemingly still very small sixteen-year-old daughter brings home her future husband. What to do in this situation? How to behave correctly?
First, no matter how you personally feel about this situation, be sure to be polite and correct. Invite them into the house and be sure to offer lunch (supper). Your kindness will set everyone up for a pleasant conversation and relieve tension. No need to pounce on a young (or not young) person right off the bat. He's as nervous as you are. Remember that for a man, regardless of his age, to come to meet the parents of his beloved is a very difficult and serious step. So the fact that he is in your house speaks of good things. At least his intentions are serious enough.
Second, do not engage in prejudiced interrogation. Even if you are seriously worried about your child, this does not give you a reason for aggression. Start a conversation about extraneous things, give the young man an opportunity to get used to both you and the environment. Ask them what they did today, where they went. If you can start and get the conversation right, you will be rewarded. The young man will tell everything about himself, you will be able to get answers to your questions.
Third, be genuinely interested in what is being told to you. Let's talk about the army times, support it. If we are talking about childhood, you can tell some funny stories from your childhood. But do not get carried away, there should be a guest at the table today.
Fourth, do not allow yourself harsh statements and criticism about his parents or his own actions and views. Even if you yourself have a different opinion. You can calmly say - "in this case, I think differently." Understand that your daughter is not choosing your clone, but a companion. And she focuses exclusively on her own tastes and ideas. Do not forget that even if you are a very young parent and the age difference between you and the groom is insignificant, they still belong to a different generation and their views on life, accordingly, differ from ours.
Don't make a familiarity. Maybe in your circles it is considered normal when a new person is greeted with strong hugs, kisses and expressions like “bro”, etc. Restrain yourself, do not shock the young man. Be polite, but not arrogant, keep your distance, but do not withdraw. And in no case sit at a beech table.
Also, do not immediately blame a heap of your problems on a young man. Even if your toilet is clogged up in your house, and he works as a plumber, you should not immediately drag him to the bathroom on the day of your acquaintance and insist that he fix what is broken. This, by the way, applies to absolutely any profession. Both doctors and lawyers also do not like it when people, having learned about their profession, immediately pester them with a request to consult. First, it's not decent. And, secondly, they earn a living by this, and the fact that a man has intentions to date your daughter does not give you the right to shamelessly use his professional skills.
Compliance with these simple rules will show you only on the good side, and accordingly, in return you will also receive only good things. Don't worry, children grow up and there is nothing you can do about it.