How to build a strong relationship with a man: advice from psychologists. How to build a relationship with a man

Only those who have already been burned so many times that they have managed to chain their hearts in armor do not dream of love, so that they no longer make mistakes and experience disappointment. But living without her is not as easy and beautiful as they think. Therefore, you should not be afraid and avoid her, as well as rush to fall in love or build a relationship with the first man you come across. After all, many disappointments and scars, as well as fear of her, can be easily avoided if you know how relationships with the opposite sex are built and what is worth doing and what is not.

How to build a relationship

Once you've met a man and a relationship is starting to emerge, allow yourself to relax and have fun and pleasure. You do not need to immediately analyze it, trying to understand whether it fits your ideal and whether it is suitable as a life partner. All these thoughts will only spoil the mood and steal the opportunity to get that feeling of euphoria that love gives.

You need to think about such important things later, when passions subside a little, and everything will indicate that he has serious plans. After all, the most important thing in a relationship is when it is easy, comfortable and good for both of them. You should not be annoyed, alarmed, embarrassed or upset by anything. If this happens, you need to think about what requirements this man does not meet, whether they are justified, whether they are very important and important for you, and whether you present them to someone else or know for sure that they can be fulfilled.

When you make sure that your requirements are reasonable, and the claims are justified, and you are absolutely sure that they are being fulfilled by those who truly love a woman, then this is not your man and you do not need to build a relationship with him. Not only will you waste precious time, deprive yourself of the opportunity to enjoy life, but you will also put your self-esteem and future life at risk.

Do not assume that the proverb "Tolerate - to fall in love" teaches something good. It is not known who invented it at all, who needed to force women to endure, be silent and endure men's whims and fulfill whims. Yes, it is necessary to resolve controversial issues with a loved one, after all, we are quite different, but this does not mean that everyone should endure something that does not suit them. When a person is unable to accept the carelessness of another, his laziness, rudeness, insults, infidelity, greed, stinginess, inability to behave with people, ignoring his interests and ingratitude, there is only one correct way - to part with him.

After all, whoever said that women should sacrifice themselves and their mental and physical health, so long as someone does not say that no one needs them, old maids and generally failures. Everyone has something for which he can be blamed, therefore, as the saying goes, "Who are the judges?"

You can build relationships correctly, taking into account your interests and desires. It may sound selfish, but how can you create a happy couple if a person is not able to come to terms with what seems to him shortcomings, and he suffers, worries and sometimes hates himself for not being able to love the other as he deserves. Who will feel good if someone who is unhappy lives next to him? Only a sadist who needs a sacrifice.

Only those relationships in which both are happy can be happy. The person who inspires, pleases, delights, makes you feel at your best and see the beauty in the world is your person. You don't need to fight, put up with him, sort things out, find compromises, give in and suffer, ask or plead. I want to hear him, I want to take care of him and take care of him. And he responds in kind. When a woman meets her man, she intuitively knows how to behave in order to build a relationship correctly. If she does not know something about him, she is not afraid to ask him or those who know him about it, while it is better than her.

It is always comfortable with him, even when silence reigns, and everyone thinks about something different. It's cozy with him. It gives a sense of security, reliability and safety, even without doing anything specifically for this.

But sometimes the woman herself has requirements for men so unreasonable that she suffers not because he is bad, but because she cannot in any way fit him into the ideal image that she once created. She does not want to lose him, but she is completely happy, she does not feel herself either. Here's an advice to take a closer look at your list of requirements. When a person is really loved, I like it even how he snores, or they just don't pay attention to it. Love overshadows any things that might annoy others.

Instructions

The most reliable are relations between mature and conscious people who are aware of exactly what is happening between them. If partners differ in immaturity of personality, and their relations built on emotional dependence, such a union cannot be called harmonious, since it does not contribute to mutual development and growth.

In order for your mutual relations have always been mature, avoid common mistakes - in particular, do not be intimidated by a decrease in passion and, since violent emotions always tend to end. Often people, realizing that the passion has gone, thinking that it has gone along with emotions, but this is not so - perceive the decrease in emotional delight from each other as a transition to a new stage in the relationship. Protect your love from burnout, constantly nourish it with new sources of mutual sympathy.

One of the common mistakes in relations x is the lack of distance - people are actually in each other's personal space, dissolving in each other and after a while emotionally burn out. Learn to correctly keep your distance - in every person there should always be a bit of the mysterious in order to interest a partner. Do not strive to become an inseparable whole being - this is not an ideal model of a relationship, but a mistake.

It is also very important to learn to accept your partner as he is, without trying to change him in accordance with your expectations and dreams. Do not attach a person to yourself and do not seek to constantly control him - trust your partner, and also trust yourself and be confident in yourself. Then you do not need to assert yourself through constant control.

Do not strive for complete unity - a short distance is necessary for a harmonious relationship. Don't be afraid to lose each other - fears relations, turning them into neurotic dependence on each other.

Just have fun with what your relations differ in durability, sobriety and depth, from the fact that you give each other freedom. Your partner is not your property and it is when people realize this and begin to respect each other's freedom that they really begin relations.

Never think of love as complete. A relationship is a two-person process that should never stop and become static. Educate yourself to be ready for unexpected turns of events and for the unknown - this will help to avoid boredom in relations x.

When the main goal is achieved, then the woman begins to shine from the inside, and everything works out for her and goes well. After all, only when a normal relationship with a man is built, a woman can feel truly happy.

But, unfortunately, not all women can solve this problem successfully. For many of them, a relationship with a man is a real problem. Find out more details in the video:

TOP 9 recommendations to make it easier for girls to build relationships with guys

1. Don't try to rush things. Haste is not an option. Building strong relationships in a short time is not possible. It takes a lot of time. If you rush things, you can frighten off your partner. After all, men usually need more time to open up and take decisive action. Take it for granted and stop pushing him.
2. Be weak. Men are conquerors and protectors. They are very pleased to feel that they are strong and courageous, and you need their protection. Therefore, do not be afraid to look weak, but on the contrary often tell your sweetheart about your fears, about problems with colleagues, about the fact that you are not coping with something. Let the man calm you down and feel sorry for you. Do not solve all the issues yourself, trust your man, and assign some responsibilities to him.
3. Away with ideals. Women love to come up with an ideal partner - a prince, and then remake their man for this image. It is important to understand that ideal people do not exist, like princes. Do not suppress your loved one with your grievances and nagging. Each person is beautiful in their own way, appreciate it. And if you cannot put up with it, then this is simply not your person. Learn to accept your beloved for who he really is. And then, he himself will begin to change for the better for you.
4. Let the man provide for you. Men are earners and breadwinners. When a man begins to doubt his ability to provide for you and his family, his ego suffers. The partner can withdraw into himself and become depressed. A woman must create the necessary conditions in which there will be no place for humiliation and depressive state of her companion. Your goal is to encourage your partner to do it on their own. Become a muse for him, and under any circumstances, remain a true woman.
5. Be happy. Any man wants to connect his life with a joyful, smiling and kind girl. But with a woman who is not happy with everything, is always depressed and complains about life, he is unlikely to want to communicate for a long time. Remember, like attracts like. So fall in love with yourself, start enjoying life. And then your partner will adopt your attitude and begin to reach out to you. In this way, you will create a happy and harmonious couple.
6. Down with scheduled sex. Sex is pleasure, and scheduled pleasure is boring. Sex plays an important role in relationships with the opposite sex. During lovemaking, a couple can become significantly close, open to each other, and tell things that they would hardly have been told in ordinary conversation. Therefore, do not dose sex, do not limit it, do it whenever and wherever you want. The main thing in a relationship is to satisfy your sexual desires and enjoy it.
7. Praise your partner. A man will be happy if you recognize him as the head of the family. Tell your partner more often that he is the best, that you are proud of him,. Spare no couples to compliment him. Admire him sincerely when he has done something meaningful for you. He will shine from it, and be proud of himself. Do not forget to praise your loved one in the company of friends or relatives. Then he will begin to appreciate you even more, and he will be immensely grateful to you.
8. Be loyal to your partner. Always remain faithful to your companion, even if you are in an argument. And this also applies to life situations: do not tell everyone that your partner was wrong about something or was wrong. Do not take quarrels in public, and do not betray him in this way. Always be there, no matter what. Support your loved one, even when you think that he will not be able to do something. Soon you will find that your loved one is ready for anything for you, because you really believed in him.
9. Listen to your intuition. Only your heart can determine what you really need. Only it knows the answers to all questions. Therefore, listen to him more often, and not to the opinions of others. If you feel that the man is yours, then do everything to be with him. Even quarrels are not a hindrance. Well, if an inner voice says that something is wrong and you are not satisfied with much, then run away from it. After all, relationships should only bring happy emotions.

How to build a serious, strong and harmonious relationship with a man - 8 tips

In order for relationships with men to be not only passionate, but serious and strong, you must always take care of inner harmony in relationships.

Use these tips to keep your relationship always happy and harmonious:

1. Respect each other. Relationships built on mutual respect are the longest and strongest. Respect should be present in everything: desires, preferences, tastes and opinions. Respect your partner both as a person and as a man.
2. Learn to understand. Falling in love and euphoria pass, and after these wonderful feelings you should have an understanding of the chosen one. Understanding should be shown in relation to his actions, deeds. Once you begin to understand your partner, you will always feel comfortable together. And you will begin to complement each other.
3. Support your partner. Support has always come first in a strong relationship. Even if your chosen one seems strong enough to you, believe me, support will always be vital for him. Support your loved one even in small things, in absolutely any situation.
4. Trust. Trust is another important component of any harmonious relationship. Without trust, relationships will turn into chaos. Trust your loved one, because this is your personal choice. , try to believe him. And then, he will certainly meet all your expectations.
5. Show concern. Men are like children, they really need female care. Ask him how the day went, what he is concerned about, how he feels, feed him, make sure that his clothes are always clean and tidy. He will definitely appreciate your concern and reward you.
6. Create comfort and coziness. It is the girl who is the keeper of the hearth. It is on her that the weather in the house depends, and the microclimate in the relationship. A woman should be able to create such comfortable conditions in the house, in everyday life, so that her man would always hurry home. In turn, a man will create all the necessary conditions for a woman, you will not need anything, and always.
7. Diversify your leisure time. In order not to make the relationship boring and routine, dilute them with interesting leisure. Go together to cinemas, cafes, picnics, just for walks. Prepare an exotic dish for your beloved, come up with a joint irga with him. Diversify your intimate life. And then your relationship will sparkle with new colors.
8. Romance. This is the most important component of a strong and happy relationship. It is romance that can bring tenderness, trepidation into relationships, it is at such moments that we forget all the quarrels, all the negativity, and begin to understand that we are very comfortable with our soul mate. Therefore, try to bring romantic moments into your relationship as much as possible, but at the same time do not make them too cloying and airy.

How to build a relationship with a divorced man

Quite often, girls are afraid to build relationships with divorced men. They just don't know how to do it right. Yes, it is much more difficult to build relationships with such men than with those who have never been married.

The main thing here is to understand and accept one fact - a divorced man will not particularly gravitate towards a too serious relationship right away. Therefore, in no case, do not put pressure on him, do not strive to immediately start talking about living together and about marriage. Proceed with caution, from afar.

It is necessary to conquer his heart with some discretion. And only when he becomes really good and calm with you, when he realizes that you are the one he has been looking for for so long, then you can try to talk to him about the wedding. In this case, it is necessary to talk frankly with him, and in a sincere conversation to find out the reason for his divorce. Thus, you will prevent a possible repetition of this situation with you.

How to build a relationship with a married man

A relationship with a married man is usually passionate but difficult. After all, a woman is always in limbo: she cannot be sure of the duration of such a relationship, a man often gives her only a little time, he can break loose and leave at any moment. According to statistics, such a relationship is not promising. So it is necessary to weigh the pros and cons before entering into a relationship with a married man.

If a woman nevertheless decided on a relationship with a married man, then she must be realistic and understand that such a relationship can end quite abruptly.

You must adhere to the following tips:

• Don't criticize or blame your partner's wife
• Do not abuse whims and moralizing.
• Do not pressure your partner, do not demand a divorce. It is very dangerous to put him before a choice. A man must make his own choice.
• Show your affection for him more often, talk about feelings, and give amazing sex.
• Do not impose in any way. Don't hold the man next to you. He himself should want to be with you, and you should try to create an appropriate atmosphere for this: tenderness, comfort, and harmony.
• Be patient. When a girl waits patiently, stepping aside, the man accepts the choice much faster. And most often the choice stops in favor of this most patient and understanding woman.

Only when a man realizes himself that he is very good and calm with you, that he is happy only when you are around, only then can you count on something serious.

Why you can't build relationships with men

It happens, it happens that a woman is both beautiful and smart, but it is impossible to build relationships with men. In fact, there can be many reasons, but the main ones are:

• Generic negative attitudes, not a very good example of parents. It is important to understand here that all people are individual, and everyone's situations are different. You can do much better than your family.
• You have too high demands on men. Treat yourself and men more easily. Let go of the situation, and more often give vent to your feelings, not your mind.
• The woman takes on the role of the man. Men are scared off. It is important for them to make their own decisions. Be a woman: weak, defenseless and gentle.
• Don't idealize your partner. Do not attribute the desired qualities to him, so that later you yourself will not be disappointed in them. Accept it as it is.
• You underestimate yourself. Love yourself. Become confident in yourself. Find a hobby that you enjoy. And smile more often.

But it happens that a woman cannot build a happy relationship, because a man is simply not her person.

Men with whom it is simply impossible to build a happy relationship:

• despotic tyrants;
• gigolos;
• womanizers;
• irresponsible egoists;
• alcoholics.

If a woman has tied her fate with such a man, then the best advice is to run away from him as soon as possible, towards her happiness.

And most importantly, don't dwell on negative experiences. Remember your time for everything. Sincerely enjoy yourself and your life, and soon everything will be fine for you.

TOP 5 books on relationship psychology

And in order to better understand men, it is necessary to begin to understand male psychology, and the psychology of relationships. To do this, we advise you to read the following books:

1. Robert Johnson “We. The deeper aspects of romantic love "
2. John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
3. Michael Matteo "The Book of Tasty and Healthy Relationships"
4. Tina Tessina, Riley Smith "How to Live Together and Stay Free"
5. Andrey Zberovsky "13 ways to overcome the crisis of love relationships"

The brains of men and women are different, so their psychology is also different. When entering into a relationship, everyone pursues their own goal and this goal does not always coincide. Therefore, girls are very often disappointed in relationships. To achieve harmony in a relationship with a man, painstaking work is needed, which requires the right behavior and, accordingly, actions. There are no guidelines for relationships, but there is the experience of generations of women who have created strong marriages.

The first step to starting a relationship with a man is self-esteem. Low or high self-esteem will greatly affect the connection with a man. You need to love yourself, then your partner can feel it. In this matter, the main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to become a narcissist. In relationships, as in all areas of life, there must be a clear goal. A man also wants to date a confident and strong woman who has her own eventful life, filled with various events. He likes a girl who enjoys her life. Housewives and ladies have long gone out of fashion, who selflessly set the goal of life to serve their beloved man.

The next step is positioning. This stage is for those who are just going to meet their soul mate. The first impression a girl makes on a guy will play a big role in their future. If he sees a frivolous person, he is unlikely to be interested in building a family with her. The same applies to the librarian trait. A girl should be able to use those external data that nature gave her, and emphasize them. The preferred clothing style is casual. And the best cosmetics are those that are not visible. It is worth paying attention to the presentation of the speech.

Now comes the moment of acquaintance. The girl liked the guy, she should remember that she still remains the fairer sex and the young man takes the main step. She can provoke him to this by giving him non-verbal signs, such as a glance for seven seconds, a slight smile.

Psychology of a man in a relationship with a woman man's secrets

What to do when the relationship started?

If there is already a partner, the question of the correctness of the choice and whether the girl really wants to tie her life is decided. Therefore, people often pass off other people's desires as their own. They are under pressure from society, family, friends with the phrases “it's time for you to get married”, “he is a good guy, don't let him go,” “he will be a good husband,” etc. Therefore, it is important to listen to your inner voice.

After setting a goal, creating an image, and acquaintance, the next stage begins - meetings. Some men at this stage offer or hint at sex, and sometimes even sex for friendship, countering that he is not yet ready for a relationship. You cannot agree to this, even thinking that someday he will decide. You cannot agree on, and on the second, and even on the third.

At the beginning of a relationship, a girl should not write and call first. Psychology suggests that men are earners. The more inaccessible the victim, the more interesting. The next rule is not to rush to respond to his messages immediately, especially in the early stages. Don't meet daily. This will allow the man to appreciate the moments spent.

The guy should voice how he treats the girl. If this topic was not raised, the partner observes his behavior. First, when meeting any people, he says "this is my girlfriend Katya" or "this is Katya, my girlfriend." If he says a girlfriend, or just a name, so he refers. You need to discuss who you are to each other.

Ideal relationships are built on seven components, they include:

• respect;
• love;
• confidence;
• support;
• loyalty;
• honesty;
• communication.

You need to work on relationships on a daily basis, based on the above components. Most people believe that there is no need to strain in this area.

Strong relationships are built on female wisdom. To be offended by trifles, to arrange scenes and scandals is the lot of hysterics. The girl who wants to start a family will calmly discuss problems, will be able to remain silent where necessary.

Respect for personal space. Most girls at the beginning of a relationship make a mistake, which then leads to an unfavorable outcome. They try to fill a person's entire life with themselves, do not respect his boundaries, try to dictate what to do and what not to do.

Collaboration. Nothing strengthens a relationship like being together. This can be trips, hiking, joint sports, solving some puzzles, and even repairing.

Wisdom of a woman

How to build an alliance with men of different ages

At the age of 30, dating already begins to take on a different character. At this age, people already have some kind of experience, most often it is of an unpleasant nature. Do not share this information with your partner. You need to keep your dramas with you or your friends. When going on dates, forget about the past.

At the age of 30, it is easy for a girl to turn into a boring and sad person. To start a relationship, you need to not show a pessimistic attitude. The same goes for candor.

You shouldn't give up your relationship with divorced people. The man also has a bad experience, but he wants to find his happiness. These men are not afraid of responsibility and know what they want from life.

Do not cling to a person who is not suitable. Many girls are convinced that they will no longer meet a worthy person, therefore they are in an onerous relationship. If an inner voice says that this is the wrong person, you should listen to him.

After 30 there are advantages - no need to pretend to be someone else. You can be yourself and speak honestly and openly with your partner.

After 40 years, the chances of meeting your half diminish, but they are. Here the recommendations do not change and remain the same as in 30 years.

But at 50, thinking is already changing. This is where experience begins to play a positive role. At this age, relationships are not built on sex, but on communication. A man will seek psycho-emotional closeness and a woman with whom he will meet old age. Mature women are preferred.

How to make a girl run after you psychology

Love and astrology

Relationships with Aries are full of bright colors, if he liked a girl, he will stop at nothing to get her. It is this sign that needs a strong and independent woman. To maintain such a relationship, a girl must be thrilling.

If a girl wants to start a family, she should date a Taurus. But to keep in touch, you need to be faithful, affectionate and kind. Forget about all the guys and men who came before him and not even mention them in conversation.

With Gemini, everything is not so simple - a bunch of women revolve around him. To defeat competitors and become that one, you must first learn how to dress stylishly, be able to maintain a conversation on various topics and be his muse.

In dealing with Cancer, you cannot rush things. This person will be looking closely for a long time. When he is ready, he will take the big step himself.

Relations with Leo are more complex. He always needs to demonstrate that his woman is the best. Therefore, he chooses the most beautiful. They write all their former girlfriends into the category of friends and communicate with them.

To build a lasting alliance with Virgo, you need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to suppress the sense of ownership. And he will put up with his communication with ex-girls. They are very freedom-loving, so they do not limit their partner.

Libra is a man who knows how to give love, and expect the same from a partner. To strengthen relationships and create a strong bond, the Libra man needs to constantly talk about his feelings. This man loves.

With Scorpio, communication is simple, building a strong union requires sex, submission and honesty. They want to be leaders in relationships and hate being lied to.

Sagittarius prefers sexy girls. This is exactly the option where you can reveal your sexy side and not look frivolous. Do not take the initiative: as with the previous sign, Sagittarius wants to be a leader. He needs a girl who is laconic and one so that she can listen. If a partner wants to get hold of Sagittarius forever, she will have to make friends with his friends first.

A relationship with a Capricorn is communication with a guy who works day and night. He loves his career very much, so attempts to get between him and his profession will be in vain. It will take a lot of patience and effort. For this, the girl will be rewarded, because Capricorns are loving and faithful husbands.

In communication with Aquarius, romance can not be expected, they are not interested in caring. They like parties and parties, and a girl is perceived as a friend for them. It is almost impossible to build a serious relationship with this sign, and if they do, they will be short-term.

With a Pisces man, you need to be extremely careful, harsh statements, criticism can hurt his delicate nature. Girls who want a strong bond with Pisces should show them their love and care.

And a little about secrets ...

The story of one of our readers Irina Volodina:

Especially depressing for me were the eyes, surrounded by large wrinkles plus dark circles and swelling. How to remove wrinkles and bags under the eyes completely? How to deal with swelling and redness?But nothing ages or rejuvenates a person as much as his eyes.

But how to rejuvenate them? Plastic surgery? Recognized - not less than 5 thousand dollars. Hardware procedures - photorejuvenation, gas-liquid pilling, radiolifting, laser facelift? Slightly more affordable - the course costs 1.5-2 thousand dollars. And when to find all this time? And it's still expensive. Especially now. Therefore, I chose a different way for myself ...

00:00 5.11.2015

You want to be happy with a man, and this desire is normal. But how to get along with another person? How to find ways to each other and stay with yourself? Psychologists Tatiana Vlasyuk and Doris Castillo Mendoza helped us to understand these issues.

We all read fairy tales in childhood. Oh, what love was there! Cinderella and Prince, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and (also) Prince, Vasilisa the Beautiful and Ivan (Fool or Tsarevich - it doesn't matter). Then we grew up a little, reading "Scarlet Sails", where Assol waited for her Gray, the multivolume series "Angelica", "Gone with the Wind", "Singing in the Thorns" ...

We read them, sometimes at night with a flashlight under the covers, bursting into tears with delight. And then they dreamed, dreamed, dreamed. Of course, imagining yourself in the place of the main character - but what else ?! At the age of 16-17, they experienced their first love, largely idealized, not always mutual, light. Then - the second, the third ... We left, left us. The earth swayed underfoot, and there were scars on my soul. Then, probably, you said for the first time mentally or aloud the phrase "all men are ...". The synonymous row is rich and consists entirely of negative epithets.

It hurt every time, but we still fall in love again - this is life. "But again the grass will sprout through all the obstacles and adversities. Love is a spring country, because only in it there is happiness," sang Larissa, the "dowry" in the film "Cruel Romance". But each of us, saying goodbye to another love (always the last), asked herself Tsvetaeva's question: "My dear, what have I done to you ?!"

Let's work on the bugs. It may be hard to believe, but ideal relationships exist. It happens, it can happen to you. It doesn't matter if you are just waiting for him, have already met him or you have been together for a long time.

"An ideal couple is two people, a man and a woman, who, being together, remain themselves. They do not play roles, do not lie and do not manipulate, but appear as they are. And they love this openness and trust in themselves, and in a partner ". Our consultants offer several original techniques and tests that will help you understand yourself and delve into relationships with a loved one.

How to meet the right man

Do you think you first need to lose weight for this? But no! You need to start not with the external attributes of beauty, but with working on yourself.

You - the one and only: realize your own worth. When a woman appreciates herself, it is as if a crown appears on her head. Not arrogance and pride, but the crown of self-love.

It is on your quality of love and respect for yourself that the corresponding person is attracted, who, by his behavior and attitude towards you, shows how you feel about yourself. Therefore, it depends only on you what kind of man will be next to you.

Allow yourself to wish

There is the Law of Pure Desire, which says: "As long as we keep the purity of intention, a positive result is guaranteed. But if we pollute our desire with fear, greed, or the desire to get someone else's, it is unlikely to come true."

There are five qualities in the Law of Pure Desire:

• hope
• inspiration
• Vera
• knowing that you deserve the best
• ability to retreat

And a conflict of intentions can prevent your desires from coming true. You want love. But uncertainty and anxiety cool the enthusiasm and provoke feelings of fear and anxiety: "What if I do something stupid again, say something wrong, trust the wrong person? What if I fail again?"

Stop. If you want to attract love into your life, you need absolute faith that you deserve it and everything will be fine. In love, it is the firm belief that you can love and be loved.

Take on board the affirmations: "I am worthy of love and respect", "I can love and be loved", "I deserve to be loved for who I am."

Believe, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what you thought of yourself before, you deserve love. But! To make your wish come true, give up the attachment to the result. Be happy here and now, not when you meet the right person. It is very important not to dwell on this. Especially when you are 30-35 years old.

In psychology, there is such a concept as "the panic of the closing gate": you have to give birth to a child, and you have to get married - I’m late! This panic attracts into life something completely alien to you. You cannot allow yourself to despair or fuss, you need to clearly understand what you want and what you deserve. You can't live constantly thinking about how to attract a man. This state repels with the same force as it attracts.

One hundred percent enjoyment

“The most correct state in which a woman needs to be is simply to enjoy life, herself, her mood. After all, according to Gabriel Garcia Márquez, all the most beautiful things happen unexpectedly, when we do not expect it. This is the right state.

Do not pull to yourself with all your mental strength, but enjoy! The same person will come to the woman's enjoyment of herself and life. As soon as you start to devote enough time to yourself, to do what you love, what you like - go to dances, travel, read, listen to music, learn something new, interesting and worthy people appear around you, life gives you gifts and new acquaintances ", - our consultants are sure.

And, you must admit, to stay in such a state does not require large financial resources. Start doing what you wanted for a long time, but there was still no time.

"It is important for a woman to learn to be happy alone with herself, from herself, then she will be happy with a man. The mistake we often make is to tie our happiness to a partner or an event that will happen sometime."

The world's reaction to you reflects your inner state.

All men…

I remember a joke: "The biology teacher cried and called the pistils horned artiodactyls." So that's it. Try to permanently exclude phrases (and thoughts) like "all men ..." from the vocabulary and further along the negative synonymous row.

“To attract the right partner, you need to understand and respect each of the surrounding men. Learn, looking at the counter, to see something good in him, do not condemn the masculine gender as such.

Don't judge, don't neglect, don't blame. Accept!

Enter this state, and a high-level partner will be attracted to you. You will send completely different signals, project yourself in a different way. The result is that a man will take the right place in your life, "says Tatiana.

Let's enjoy the wait

This technique will help you attract the right man into your life. Practice it a couple of times a week. Choose a calm and quiet place in your home, sit or lie down, relax. Take a deep breath in and out several times. Feel the stress and tension sink into the floor beneath your feet. You are warm, calm and serene.

On the next breath, imagine that five years have passed, and you and your loved one are in a pleasant place. Maybe the two of you are at a table in a cozy restaurant, maybe in bed. Stop for a minute and pay attention to what you are doing right now - details.

Are you married? Do you have children? Take a breath and feel the joy of this scene. Your dream has come true. You are close to your soul mate, you love each other. Let this reality fill your heart and mind. Imagine looking into his eyes and remembering what you were up to shortly before you met him.

Now remember the present moment again, leaving this joyful state with you. Remember that by promising yourself to get the best out of every day, you have already connected in your mind with your beloved. As you prepare yourself for his appearance, so he prepares to meet you.

Take the last and deepest breath in, as you exhale, fold your arms at your chest. Open your eyes slowly.

After that, take the time to write down something that you would love to remember with your partner, and promise yourself to start creating that experience right now. There is a chance that the ideas came to your head for a reason ...

Relationships at the start

You met a man. Everything is just beginning for you. Do you have vague doubts? Then read on.

Time magazine, together with CNN, conducted a study. As a result, it turned out that women are more likely than men to reject marriage or close relationships, expecting a meeting with the Ideal Man. And men tend to forgive a woman more if they like her appearance. But we women judge harshly and quickly. Are we winning? In fact, there are no ideal ones in nature. The ideal partner for you is the one with whom you feel as good as possible. And the first sign is when partners are comfortable in any situation. Even to be silent.

I accept you ...

At the initial stage of a relationship, it is important to help yourself, new relationships. How? Agree: "Let's accept each other as we are. You snore - okay. I'm just chomping. We are people ..."

Tell yourself, "I accept my partner as a person."

Complicated? Do one more exercise. Divide the sheet of paper in half. On the left, write what annoys you, pisses you off, and on the right - everything that "includes" you, and like, and supports, and inspires you in it.

Look - what is really more. And honestly give an assessment - are you ready to accept this minus, looking at this plus? And what else do you need to work with to make this minus less. After all, as soon as the sock forgotten under the bed stops annoying you, it miraculously evaporates somewhere. A man can change.

Speaking of princes

"Very often, many of those who are waiting for a prince on a white horse overly idealize a man. This attitude is instilled by mothers in their daughters, because girls like fairy tales and movies about ideal relationships. They begin to live in this world and then find it very hard to find a life partner," Doris says.

It is important to understand and realize that a man, like a woman, can be different, in some ways ideal, in others not. Initially allow yourself the opportunity to be imperfect. If a woman has a syndrome of ideality, then she is very demanding of herself, she herself tries to be perfect, and wants the same ideal partner. But he may not exist in nature.

"An idealistic woman should relax, enjoy life, allow herself to be manifested in different ways, do not meet the standards.

In the same way, a man - he can be better than the norms that you came up with for him. In order to understand this, you can also sit down and pee. What is my ideal for me? How important are all these points that I have written, for me, critical and principled. Basically - blond with blue eyes? Where there is categorization, there is no longer freedom. Or maybe fate has already prepared a brunette with brown eyes for her? "- adds Tatiana.

By the way, where are your wings?

Is this the man? The answer to this question lies in the realm of intuition.

But. It is not yours if after some time after the beginning of your communication you begin to feel a lack of energy. Inspiration, vital activity disappears, and quarrels, clarifications of relations draw out all vital juices from you. If this is grinding, it's not scary, because in moments of intimacy, when everything is fine, partners fill each other with energy. But if there is no filling, only a constant release, a leak of energy, is not your relationship.

On the contrary, if you feel that wings are growing, if they give you compliments, how you look younger, you look great, this is an indicator that your man is next to you.

Together in life

You have been a couple for a long time now, your honeymoon is over. How can two realized people learn to coexist together?

When an accomplished woman meets a self-sufficient man, the question of the compatibility of freedoms arises. Everyone is used to their non-free schedule, to express their opinion, no one wants to obey - how can they find a common language? This is the question!

And I love to look out the window!

The first recommendation for those who are already a couple is, at first glance, simple. You need to sit down and over a cup of tea or coffee, without pretensions and any reproaches, tell each other what you like to do. But it's easier to write lists: what each partner likes and dislikes.

Divide the piece of paper in half. One half is what you like, the other is what you really don’t love, what’s not yours, what you don’t like, what upsets, brings discomfort, what upsets the other half, what makes you sad. A man and a woman write lists, then they are discussed together.

“I love it when you bring me coffee in the morning”, “I love it when you come home from work and say“ Hello, mouse! ”- maximum details!

The couple prescribes the details of their relationship, looking at the last few years of their lives, to the maximum "I love it when you water the flowers", "I love to sit in the kitchen and be silent, looking out the window, when you respect it and do not touch me."

First, we discuss who loves what, then the second column. “You’ll say that I’m inattentive, it hurts me, I’m upset”, “I don’t like to visit relatives“ for show ”,“ I don’t like to pull your socks out from under the bed ”.

The task is for each of the partners to enter as deeply as possible into a state of introspection, to think slowly, having allocated at least an hour or two for this, to create a suitable atmosphere.

The requirement "I love it, it means that you are doing it to me, otherwise you will be guilty" is unacceptable. The conversation should not proceed in the mainstream of making claims against each other. “You know”, “it turns out”, “it seems to me” - this is a set of phrases. This work is an investment in yourself, in your relationships.

And on Saturdays we have a diplop

"The second technique is family rituals. It is designed to help each other experience more states that they like. We recommend that women take the initiative to organize all this," says Tatiana. "You can arrange a week of some country, a week of state: generosity, gratitude ( a week we thank each other for all the little things) or a week without comments - whatever the husband does. "

This technique is very helpful in getting to know your partner. It seems to us that if we live together for a long time, then the partner knows what we love and what not, just like we do, by default, and he may not even guess about it!

After all, most people are not telepathic at all! We also recommend going to concerts, cinema, going to sports events together, playing "mafia" with friends, running together, cooking dinner - not spontaneously, but on certain days, so that there are things that will later become called family traditions, traditions of a couple, what they only do together.

One of the recommendations is to have some kind of book of funny moments and joint jokes. Some things that amuse both of them. For example, you pulled out a phrase from a movie you watched together, it stuck in my mind - write it down in the book. Or start a game like this: "When we say this phrase, we mean it" - you can play this way, for example, at a party.

In the film "What Men Talk About" - "diplope" - such a dish, one word, one phrase, and how much is behind it! For example, a wife is going to cook something unusual for dinner and calls the dish "diplope". It is exquisite, there is very little of it - hence the dip flop. Little things like that turn into family jokes.

You can watch films together, pull out phrases from there and apply to situations in family life, phrases that will mean something, dilute everyday life and bring an element of play into it. "We are coming to the end of the month, we will eat the diplop - it is not enough, it is expensive."

And if you touch on sexual relations in a couple, in order to somehow resume them, you can also use the technique of rituals. For example, take a bath with candles and music every Saturday. Or make a silk bed on Saturday, all weekend ...

You touch me with your hand

Another powerful technique for a couple who are together for a long time is to choose a week and only touch, kiss, caress each other - and not have sex at the same time. It is called the Sensual Expectation Technique. We take a bath together, wipe each other with a towel, three backs, but no further.

After that, if the couple is really together, the feelings are heightened. There is a feeling of a honeymoon - you are touching each other as if for the first time. Men like it too, this is a state of foreplay, a kind of expectation. By nature, a man is a conqueror, and he is interested in doing it over and over again.

Rewind the tape

Is there any development in your couple? Rewind the tape back five, ten years. Then you were alone, now you are different. This development should reflect on you - on your inner state, on some material values, increasing your positive attitude, improving mutual understanding.

If you have lived a certain amount of time together, and you remember losses, illnesses, problems, conflicts - this is also a marker of how correctly you chose your partner, how harmoniously you developed, and whether you are a couple at all. In fact, development is possible without these negative moments and serious cataclysms. If life sends them, it means that we do not see or understand something.

You can develop more environmentally. Nobody says that it will be calm and even, but nevertheless, living together can be a pleasure, with real interest, and not leaps from scandal to reconciliation.

Excessive emotional swing is the first indicator that something is wrong with the couple. Even at the very beginning of a relationship.

There may be a lot of strong love, but if it is too bright, with jealousy, quarrels, this is an alarming signal. "When a person tries to control another, to manipulate him, this is not love, but an artificial attachment to himself. It is important to understand: as soon as we catch ourselves in a state of jealousy, something is wrong in the relationship," Tatiana is sure.

The more freedom we give our partner, the more ideal we are for each other. There is no need to be afraid to internally let go of a loved one and allow him to act according to his choice. It's so nice to know that this person wants to be with you according to his own sincere and free desire, and not because he is being held by the throat.

If a man pays attention to you, makes some gifts not because "it is necessary", for show, but because he just wants to please you, appreciate and take care of this attitude.

“A man wants to take him there - let's go. He offers something - we agree. Follow him! You don't need to say that it is expensive, and“ I don’t like football at all and I don’t understand it. ”If there is an impulse, it should not be stopped . The following may not be. Taking the initiative of another person, you can build an ideal relationship, "- said Doris.

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