How to resolve a conflict situation. How to resolve the conflict: effective ways and practical recommendations. The problem of fathers and children

You know each other well, spend many hours a day together, create one product and move towards a common goal. Open and friendly, share ideas freely and are not afraid of criticism. A real professional team! But this is not always the case. What to do if the team has lost its landmark, and frequent conflicts interfere with work? How to restore a comfortable atmosphere in the team? In this article, we will talk about how to see the conflict in time and how to resolve it for the benefit of the common cause.

1. Determine if the conflict needs resolution

Disagreements within a team are not always a bad thing. Emotional discussions, open expression of a point of view, attempts to defend an opinion - these are often working moments in an environment of bright and creative people. Such disagreements lead to new, sometimes non-standard solutions. And there is no cause for concern if, in moments of “boiling passions”, colleagues do not move to the level of individuals and easily return to their usual communication after solving the problem.

But personal conflicts occur when the focus is on specific person and in relationship with him. As soon as you feel that you are in the midst of unpleasant emotions, try to calm down and direct your energy towards solving the problem. After all, a dispute is always two points of view, two options for development. It's better than not having them. the main task– choose the most beneficial for a common cause or combine them by finding a universal solution.

2. Identify conflict

It is important to learn to notice the first signs of conflict. This is the moment when friendly jokes turn into barbs, and colleagues begin to communicate less, despite the need to solve common problems. The atmosphere in the team ceases to be comfortable even for those who do not openly participate in the conflict. And of course, the quality of work suffers.

At this stage, it is important to recognize the existence of the conflict, and most importantly, to understand the cause. These can be personal ambitions of employees, professional contradictions, and even incorrect distribution of tasks or unclear instructions.

If the cause of the conflict is not personal grievances, this may mean that employees do not fully understand their area of ​​responsibility. Use this moment to improve teamwork: review the responsibilities of employees, find out if someone needs to reduce or redistribute the load.

3. Clarify the situation

It’s good if the team has a leader or another person who is ready to take on the role of “justice of the peace”. The main thing is not to take one of the sides and let everyone speak. It is important to switch the attention of the parties from negative emotions to facts. This will help to focus not on the circumstances that led to the conflict, but on how to quickly solve the problem.

Use Practice active listening- ask questions, explain, clarify. Let colleagues know that their opinion is important, and in resolving the conflict you want to take into account the wishes of both parties.

4. Find a joint solution

It is important that the parties hear each other's point of view and jointly find a way out of the situation. After all, if both parties are happy decision no one will feel like a loser. The essence of reconciliation is not to quickly resolve the conflict in any way, but to come to a real the best option of the possible.

Such an open dialogue can be a difficult test for the ego of each participant, because we are used to protecting “our territory” and not letting outsiders into it. But if you manage to pass it, as a rule, this means a personal and professional breakthrough for both each participant and the team as a whole.

5. Remember goals and values

Each team has a common goal - what they do their work together for, what inspires and motivates them. It is important to remember this in time. It is possible to look at the target from a different angle in order to mobilize participants towards right decision situations. Shift your focus to performance and pleasant emotions from a completed task.

Contact not only common goals teams, but also to the common values ​​that have been formed during the work. It could be fast decision customer problems, friendly relations with customers, a special atmosphere in the team, creativity to work.

It is believed that any conflict situations unfold between the roles of victim-persecutor-savior. At the same time, the participants in the conflict can change roles and “walk in a circle”, and the way out of the conflict itself can tend to infinity.

To break this circle and get out of the conflict, one of the parties will need to accept or give up responsibility.

Bower technique

The technique is simple, but no less effective. It consists in a strict sequence of steps:

• Description

The main criteria for this step is to be objective and not allow emotions to appear. Forget about discontent, anger and nerves. Your task at this step is to constructively describe the situation.

• Expression

We work with people. Not with positions and badges, but with people. To a large extent, the success of the project depends on human relations. Therefore, emotions are important and it's time to voice them at this stage.

• Sentence

This is your solution to the problem, the plan of action. What do you suggest to fix the situation? Describe in detail and point by point.

• Reward

Do you guarantee success if everything goes according to plan from point 3? What benefits will the client get from this? This point is difficult, but with experience you will learn how to apply it.

Examples of conflicts with clients

Situation one: the client is dissatisfied with the timing

A classic of the genre: after the signing of the contract, the TOR changed, and then you didn’t calculate the resources - you had to redo too much. Bottom line: the deadline has passed, but things are still there. What to do and how to build communication with the client in this situation?

AT this case the client acts as a persecutor, because he is in a state of irritation, anger.

manager's bad reaction

Answer from the role of the pursuer:

Didn't you think that this would entail additional labor costs when you proposed changing the ToR? We did what we could.

Answer from the role of the victim:

We tried so hard to meet the deadline, but we could not, because new critical tasks appeared, to which we had to transfer all the resources.

Answer from the role of the savior:

We transfer your project to the outsourcing company "N", we are sure they will be able to help you.

Of course, these examples of answers are slightly exaggerated, but this is provided for a better understanding of the content of the roles.

Obviously, none of these answers will suit the Client, after which even more formidable letters will follow and partnerships will be completely lost.

Resolving a conflict with a client

We go according to the scheme:

“During the signing of the contract, we focused on a certain scope of tasks, which was changed after the start of work. We appreciated the improvements and fixes, but not as detailed as needed. Therefore, at the current stage, we are not ready to move on to the demonstration of the project - some tasks are not completed (description; the more objective the better).

In the description, there is a full recognition that the performer is responsible for what is happening, some tasks are not completed and the estimate of labor costs was of poor quality.

We understand that you wanted to launch the system this week. On behalf of our team, I apologize for the fact that we did not have time to implement the new requirements for the project within the stated time (expression; we are people, we are sorry, we are also worried).

The expression allows the Client to understand that we are standing in his place and understand how he feels.

We will implement the remaining functionality by the middle of this month. Next time we will work out the tasks on the shore and the assessment will be more objective (proposal; show the current plan, suggest how to adjust the work in the future).

The proposal confirms the defendant's readiness to assume responsibility for the second time and put new term is the middle of this month.

So by the middle of the month you will have full version functionality, despite the fact that it differs from the first version of the ToR. And in the future, we will not allow such miscalculations in estimating the timing. (reward; what will happen if the client makes the decision from the previous paragraph)».

In the award, again, the defendant takes responsibility, promising that he will not allow such miscalculations.

As a result, the defendant assumes responsibility, and the exit from the Karpman triangle is carried out. Consequently, there will be no continuation of the conflict situation and standard business correspondence will follow.

Situation two: the client is dissatisfied with the service provided

Given: You support the Company Portal, but after today's update, some functionality stopped working for many users.

Q: How do you deal with an unhappy customer?

"Tonight we rolled out Last update. After it, the functionality for working with the booking module stopped working for some users. (description). We are sorry that this happened and we are ready to make every effort to rectify the situation and prevent this from happening in the future. (expression).

In five minutes, we will deploy backups and users will be able to work in the previous version. After that, we will quickly fix the problems in the new (sentence). Thus, users do not have to wait, and we, in turn, will fix the error within a few hours. We will also eliminate the causes of the incident so that this does not happen again. (reward)."

The second situation is similar to the first one, the Client acts as the persecutor, the defendant, in turn, takes responsibility several times. The conflict has been successfully resolved.

Situation three: the client is dissatisfied with the result of the work

Given: you were developing a turnkey mobile application, but the TOR was too vague. The client is not satisfied with the interface, as well as the lack of some functionality.

Question: how to explain to the client that there are very labor-intensive tasks in the list of improvements, and you do not work for free?

In fact, there will be a long correspondence here. The question of additional payment is always slippery. But your task is to lay the right foundation for negotiations.

“Our team accepted the project for work on the basis of the terms of reference for the contract. The main modules were spelled out in it, and you entrusted the elaboration of details to us in order to save time (description).

We understand that during the development of the application, your working conditions have changed, new ideas have appeared and an understanding of how it should look for users has formed. We share your vision, but now we need to decide how to fit these improvements into the framework of our contract. (expression).

We are ready to implement some of the tasks for free. For example, finalize the design, make some sections more detailed<и т.д. по списку менее трудоемких задач>. But there are also long-term tasks in the improvements -<которые нужно перечислить и обосновать трудоемкость>. We will calculate the cost of these works separately during the week. (sentence).

Thus, design improvements will be free for you. So you can start on time and test the need to implement other tasks on real users. It is better to launch an MVP, and then evaluate it full list improvements and prioritize (reward).

It is worth noting that the algorithm described above works in any communication channel, but working with dissatisfied customers by phone requires great skills in order to keep negotiations in right way. We recommend that you start implementing this practice of resolving conflicts with clients from letters, if this is acceptable in your situation.

I have been working as a PM for five years now. All this time, in any controversial situations, I use the technique of Sharon and Gordon Bower. The development of conflicts has never happened before, so as a mentor, I teach all junior managers this technique.

Masha Tretyakova,

Conflicts are born everywhere: at home, at work, on the street. Knowledge, how to resolve conflicts and how to deal with them and get out of the conflict in good mood will help you raise the quality of your life, at the same time your nerves will be in order.

When conflict arises

If there is a conflict, you need to remember that there are always two involved. And regardless of the number of participants, both sides are to blame. Even if it seems to you that the other side is completely wrong, you will have to believe that the one who subconsciously desires this is always drawn into the conflict.

So, if you still failed to make sure that an ordinary dispute does not escalate into a conflict, then let's Let's try to resolve the conflict:

1. Take the first step

The more stubborn is the one who is more stubborn. Quarrels, screams, negative emotions- all this destroys you and your interlocutor, all the more it destroys physical level, destroying nervous system not to mention psychological level. If a person screams, it is always only out of fear. This cannot be stopped unless one of the parties takes the first step. Do it you. In no case will this mean that you are weaker or have given in. On the contrary, it will show how strong you are and strive for self-control. strong man it is impossible to piss him off, there is nothing to hook him on, because he is confident in himself. But this confidence, it is not born out of nothing, it can be learned and developed just in such situations, in practice.

2. Stop blaming

When you're trying to smooth over a conflict, don't get personal. Even if you decide to reconcile, even if you lower your tone, but still continue to communicate in a negative way, the conflict will not resolve it. First of all, focus on good qualities your partner/spouse/interlocutor. Tell him about it, it always instantly resets the negative. But remember that this should not be flattery, but sincere thoughts about the other person. Surely you have a couple of thoughts on what you like the interlocutor. Share it and stop accusing a person of all mortal sins. Best Tactic is as follows: a decrease in tone - a desire to get out of the conflict and a public announcement of this - a compliment to the opponent (it turns out that he is not so bad) - an explanation of his feelings.

You must understand the difference between explaining your feelings and making claims. The latter are always spoken in a negative way with notes of accusations against the other. When you share your feelings, you are trying to explain to the other what he cannot understand. But in a state of non-conflict, you will be heard. When a conflict occurs, everyone hears only himself, and when people go to meet each other, they express a desire to understand the other.

3. Sorry

It happens that you were heard, understood, accepted, asked for forgiveness for a mistake. And you felt inner relief that you got out of the conflict. But take one more step for conflict resolution- Ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t matter who was initially to blame, you took part in a quarrel, which means that in any case you spoiled the other’s nerves. Sorry about that. You will get rid of a large negative load and put a bullet in the problem, and the relationship will only benefit from this. If it so happened that it was you who was the culprit of the conflict and decided to apologize, and the other did not respond with an apology in response, then do not worry about it. They just aren't ready yet.

Remember that all our problems are due to our own fears and self-doubt, which, by the way, can be easily overcome, and not because everyone around is evil.

When you find yourself embroiled in a conflict, it is very difficult to control yourself. Emotions can run high, especially if you've never learned to manage them. But ask yourself the question: what is more important to me - to prove my case or to maintain a relationship? There is no need to pretend to be a victim and smooth out the problem by infringing on one's rights, but there is no need to infringe on the rights of another. Get out of the conflict with dignity, understanding for yourself something new from resolved conflict. After all, that's what conflicts are for.