Misunderstanding in the family and close relationships is a common cause of conflicts, scandals and depression.

IN serious relationship not everything can go as planned, there are crises. If a misunderstanding is brewing in your couple, then you need to urgently take measures to correct the situation.

But how to understand each other in a relationship to live in peace and harmony with your soulmate? To do this, you do not need to be a psychologist, the answers lie on the surface, but not everyone is able to discern them.

Learn to hear and listen to each other

Often problems arise in families due to the fact that partners do not know how to listen to each other.. There are such stubborn people who, apart from their opinion, do not recognize anything, but in vain. Even if you do not agree with the person, still tell him that his opinion is important to you, that you will definitely take it into account. Your chosen one (darling) will be very pleased that his (her) opinion matters to you.

Don't interrupt

Always listen to your partner, do not interrupt him because by doing so you show your disrespect. Even if it seems to you that your significant other is talking nonsense, wait until the person speaks out, and then delicately hint to him that he is wrong. And if you interrupt each other, a quarrel will quickly grow out of this.

Feel free to each other

You are probably the closest dear friend for a friend people so don't be shy and don't be afraid of each other. This is a stranger from the street, you are unlikely to trust your secrets and secrets, share experiences, and your beloved wife (beloved husband) will always listen to you, be sure to treat you with understanding and help you with advice or deeds, if necessary.

Don't be afraid to make sacrifices

Family life is a difficult test for newlyweds and their feelings, and therefore be willing to sacrifice something for your love. And be prepared for what your partner will also make sacrifices for you. Appreciate it and do what's right. Do not limit your loved ones, because marriage is not a synonym for lack of freedom, although many consider it to be such.

Your loved one sacrificed for the joint romantic evening fishing with friends, although you have been planning to go fishing for a long time? Appreciate his actions, because for him it must have been a difficult choice. The next time he is going fishing with his friends, tell him that you agree, help yourself get ready, see him off. Believe me, if you used to let him go to friendly meetings with grumbling and resentment in his eyes, he will appreciate it very much.

Increasingly, I began to encounter the fact that the same word can carry absolutely different meaning, or rather, various images. Apparently, one of the main reasons for misunderstanding each other lies precisely in our perception of the word through the image. We hear the word and perceive it based on our perception of this word, and not what our interlocutor wanted to convey. Because the interlocutor could put a completely different image into this word. While discussing one topic with friends, we came across the words “seriously”. When I said it, I saw a completely incomprehensible reaction of the interlocutors for me. It turned out that the image that I put into these words absolutely did not correspond to their perception.

It struck me to the core that what is SERIOUS is not at all what I thought, and is interpreted in a completely different way by others. I decided to urgently figure out what kind of misunderstanding of words I have and where these words come from. different images. First of all, I went into explanatory dictionaries and this is what I found there:

(Source: "Dictionary of foreign words included in the Russian language." Chudinov A.N., 1910)

SERIOUS, SERIOUS

(fr. serieux - from lat. serius). Efficient, important, sedate, majestic, strict, busy, stern, cloudy, gloomy. Serious illness- which may have dangerous consequences; serious character - as opposed to cheerful.

Most of my interlocutors had a close to this image, but for me this word had a completely different vision:

If we consider it in Old Russian, or rather, according to Slavic initial letters, where each letter has a sound and a semantic load, then the following picture emerges:

S- “Word” - Sign of Cherishing and Protection of the Ascending (Gentle) Worthy (!) Future and the acquisition through Humanity of the Gift of the Neighborhood.

"Yer" - Symbol of Cosmic Protection from mistakes of the Past. Sign of Protection from sla, from overly consonant-falsely merciful. Four-Way Sign - Protective Warrior.

“Yo” - When we exist and are able to Ascend with Concentrates of Life Beginnings

“Z” - This is the Creative Factor. By the Unity of Heaven and Earth, this Bukova was created for even greater BioFieldVisations. By means of the Creative Spiral, the Generalization of Thought proceeds with the support of Spirituality in Creativity for the Human Collective Spirit-Mind.

“Us” - Unity in Spravnoslavia of the Earthly Pillar (-P) and the Heavenly Pillar (-LI); The Earthly Apostolate supports the Heavenly Apostleship. Another reading: “Noah” is the Name of the Savior of Life on Earth.

And then it turns out that a serious one is worthy of future acquisition, possessing protection from an excessively deceitful path, has the ability to concentrate, relying on the support of angelic helpers.

Such an interpretation is very close to my perception of this image.

Perhaps we are investing different meaning into our phrases, and understand them differently, resulting in misunderstanding.

All troubles are due to misunderstanding...

It's not about the number of people on your list, but about being understood by at least one person in this world. This is really important.

Friends are lost from misunderstanding, and if this is not dealt with, then there may be bad consequences.

If you do not want to mix with any kind of crowd, and effectively be different, not like everyone else, then be prepared for loneliness and misunderstanding.

If the opponent is stronger, your actions must go beyond his comprehension.

A woman can forgive a man everything, except for not understanding that he was very lucky with her!

The ideal marriage is understanding. Passion passes, love begins.

Unfortunately, in order for a person to understand something, he must get burned, and more than once. Understanding comes only through pain and suffering. Understanding, not supported by pain, is unstable and fleeting.

Everyone has the right to care and understanding. Whatever he did in the past.

How can a man and a woman understand each other if they always want different things? A man wants a woman and a woman wants a man.

Love is beyond understanding...

People understand what they are given to understand.

The world is very simple. All these Santa Barbara, showdowns, quarrels and misunderstandings. That's bullshit. Everything should be simple. I just love you. And you do not have. Just.

Let's not try to understand each other so as not to hate each other.

Do not love the unloved, but give understanding even in cold winters!

Don't try to understand the girl. God forbid you understand!

Misunderstanding makes enemies out of friends.

No one understands each other better than the schizophrenic and the paranoid.

It's a shame when people leave... You let them go, and behind them stretches a tape of unspoken words, a shadow of resentment and misunderstanding...

There is as much understanding from you as from a wall.

It's sad when we get together at first, because "they are so similar" and we part because of a banal misunderstanding.

Understanding the causes and consequences is 50% of success in overcoming problems. But on the condition that they are not contrived.

It seems that in this world only GOOGLE understands me perfectly.

Suffering trains distance, when the lack of distance brings more suffering due to misunderstanding.

I just want to lie face down in the pillow, sob and start crying so hard ... hysterically and silently ... from hopelessness, from uncertainty, from misunderstanding ...

After all, a person understands someone because the moment comes for him when this should happen, and not because someone wants to be understood.

I live in constant fear of being misunderstood.

I hate empathy. I want understanding. Even if I'm painfully different. Cursed, despised, shocking, twisted and first in line to be burned at the stake.

I understand very little, and least of all, people who are close to me.

I treat my opponents with respect and understanding. Everyone has their own point of confusion and misunderstanding.

Often people who apply for psychological help to psychologists, psychotherapists and psychoanalysts, complain about depression associated with frequent conflicts and scandals in the family due to mutual misunderstanding of feelings and desires in close relationships.

Let us consider in more detail the source of misunderstanding, leading to disharmony in the family and close relationships.

Greetings, dear readers of the blog, I wish you mental health!

Misunderstanding in the family is the cause of conflicts, scandals and depression in close relationships

Once passes absorbing both partners love passion; over time, when people more or less grind and bore each other, they begin to get bogged down in the swamp of everyday and everyday problems, forgetting about the need for close relationships.

At this time, misunderstandings in personal relationships begin to appear more and more, leading to conflict situations and the scandals that followed the depression.

A common reason that leads people to break off family and other close relationships is the unwillingness to understand each other; unwillingness to realize their mistakes and find compromise solutions.

Misunderstanding of a loved one, his feelings and desires, leads to a cold, not at all close relationship. And as a result - conflicts, scandals, depression

In order to understand what is actually happening; why, quite recently, people treated each other with love and trepidation, with dedication and warmth, and now they have become cold and not at all close in their interpersonal relationships, it is necessary to look through time and not for long, in thoughts and imagination, go back to the past.

At the beginning of their intimate relationships, people behaved like children, spontaneously, directly and openly. They lived by natural feelings and desires, not at all caring about the future, about the urgency and everyday problems - they lived in the present and for real.

The lovers were affectionate, caring and tender with each other. Everything showed sympathy, love and respect. A sense of self-sacrifice for the sake of another was developed.

In a word, people were literally in close relationships, where, even hypothetically, conflicts and scandals could not arise. Depression was out of the question. The maximum that any disagreement could end up with is petty quarrels followed by an experience of what happened.

But when people got closer in everyday problems, they automatically began to move away in the true proximity of feelings and desires, replacing it with material values ​​and worries about the future.

Prospects for misunderstandings in the family and close relationships without intimacy

A young couple, after some time of being together, suddenly begins to often conflict, quarrel, get angry and take offense at each other over trifles.

There is increased irritability, isolation, fatigue, sometimes insomnia and apathy, a decrease sexual attraction, simply - a depressive state.

People, against the background of misunderstanding of a loved one, "reading other people's thoughts" (speculation), move away from each other, drowning in petty everyday problems and worries. Instead of pleasant love relationships, one can observe only mutual reproaches, accusations, and sometimes even insults.

Someone gets lovers and mistresses, thereby compensating for the missing intimacy (not only sexual) and avoiding severe depression.

Someone lives someone else's life of the heroes of television series, compensating for the lack of expression true feelings and desire for intimacy. Some become addicted to alcohol. Others solve the problem more radically - they get divorced, end the relationship and find themselves, as they think, the most profitable party.

And often, a banal incompatibility and a difference in characters are stated. However, even in new families, things usually do not work out the way we would like.

Misunderstanding of each other, the very essence of intimacy human relations, does not give people the opportunity to be simply happy

It is the closeness, intimacy of relationships between people, whether in love, friendship in partnership, that is the indispensable food of any person, to reinforce and maintain his emotional, mental health and fulfilling life.

Without truly intimate relationships, without the satisfaction of feelings and desires that can give close person without a constant exchange of these feelings, people become lonely even when in a crowd.

What prevents us from being close and not suffering from depression? This is a misunderstanding of both oneself, one's true feelings and desires, and the feelings and desires of another

A person, immediately after birth, wants to be close and loved. First, these needs of the child are met by his mother.

Also, adults need close relationships, recognition and love. Which can manifest itself not only in love between a man and a woman, but also in friendship and family love.

The family atmosphere, saturated with negative, non-close relationships based on the replacement of true closeness with everyday life, destroys both the individual and the family as a whole.

Life, its arrangement, becomes a barrier to human intimacy, to the expression of true feelings and desires. Leads a person to despair, loneliness and depression.

But, after all, it is the family in which a favorable climate of close relationships, understanding and love reigns that is the best and free psychotherapist to overcome emotional disorders, life troubles and maintaining the mental health of its members.

Two adults can always sit down and constructively discuss their common problems in the family. They can openly explain their feelings and desires to each other, listen and understand, coming to a compromise solution and resuming happy, once forgotten, tender and reverent, warm and close relationships.

If you have similar problems misunderstandings in the family, then start right now to give each other warmth, love and respect, and mark everyday, everyday problems in the background. Believe me, they will not be important if close relationships are completely destroyed.

I wish you psychological well-being!

Ready-made answers of a psychologist, psychoanalyst

Just talked on one resource on the topic of consciousness. The discussion began with a discussion of the goals of yoga, and then smoothly moved on to consciousness. And then a misunderstanding arose, because each of the participants initially put their own meaning into the phenomenon of consciousness, with which they approached not only this conversation, but also their long-term understanding of various spiritual and mystical literature and the whole phenomenon as a whole. People were arguing, as always, about terms and words, what means what and what what should mean. The dispute, as it seems, is a long-term one, it is constantly involved different people, and its variations are everywhere where it is in any way related to the issues of consciousness, awareness, reason, mind, sense of "I", ego, subconscious, unconscious, superconscious, collective mind, collective unconscious and so on. The question is eternal, but it seems that something needs to be done about it.

For theorists and lovers of systems there are two approaches. Integration and evolution. If we proceed from the considerations that a person has practically not changed in any way over the millennia, one can take and integrate experience different systems on the entire planet. translate terms, compare different approaches, search general concepts, put on the shelves and collect the preserved. What ten thousand years ago, what now, sensory experience remains the same, new organs do not appear in a person. Perhaps life is simply becoming more complicated, the paradigm of society is changing (for example, scientific thinking has replaced the mythological and magical), the descriptive possibility and complexity of the language is changing, but what is described - the experience of consciousness - is always the same. Some even say that it is impossible to describe and define it.

The path of evolution is even more difficult - to develop your own science, which is now in its infancy in the form of psychology and neurobiology, which, in fact, are not aimed at the global task of understanding what the mind is, but at purely local therapeutic small tasks narrow circle problems. Of course, without applied meaning, science will not go far, but in the very civilization of living people there is no great demand for knowledge of the mind, there is no great social challenge, social task generations ahead. Plus, this topic is directly tabooed in some places, as it borders on mysticism, spiritual systems, religion, and what is usually called uncertainly "unknown". Because of such a strong cautious approach, the evolutionary path will be forced to repeat the experience of hundreds of millions of people of different systems of ten thousand previous years. On a systematic basis, with a civilizational request and with appropriate funding, I think it will not take much time - four hundred years, maybe five hundred.

That is, the paths, of course, are huge and more than one life of more than one person will be spent on them. You will probably have to wait a long time. What can we do now? One friend told a story from his sensory experience - he passes everything through a personal vision of subtle flows - how he got to a lecture by a certain lady. Quite by accident, something pulled me to go to the lecture hall on the same floor where he was on some business matters and was already leaving. The lady was reading something from popular esotericism, from which, in the literal sense of the word, the ears folded into a tube and teeth hurt from grinding. But the way she did it made her stop and listen. More precisely, not to listen, but to open up, open up and listen, turning off your hearing altogether, in order to avoid damage to the delicate psyche. Light came from her, a pure, powerful, harmonious stream, which some, in fact, consider as the only value of human communication and interaction. A very funny case, just a parable on the topic that it doesn’t matter what you do, what matters is how you do it ...

This is the way out for practitioners - through the development of their sensitivity in practice, to see what is behind the words of the interlocutor. Moving away from these words and meanings, perceive a person and his message directly, beyond concepts. To see and let flows through oneself, the correct and harmonious perception of which enriches, transforms, helps to realize, see and know something in oneself. Through this enrichment and experience, one's own words and interpretations (which, remember, will still be different at all times for purely social reasons) will be filled not only with meaning, but also with the same flow, energy that helps another to transform himself. All disputes about the meaning of words are empty and lead nowhere but to the satisfaction of the ego and pride, to the feeling that he defeated everyone and is so right of himself. Except for those where, in addition to the meaning of words, words contain a resource for the rest. And these others are ready to see and accept it.

In conclusion, it is necessary to briefly describe the picture of consciousness so that the note becomes complete, and this drop also flows into evolution and integration. There is a consciousness that has no boundaries, which, through awareness of itself, knows itself, freeing itself from the unconscious, identifications, desires, and so on. It cannot be said that it has limits and that the process of awareness is finite. This is a paradox, because the consciousness of one being is the consciousness of another, which have different self-consciousness that has boundaries. Beings have a mind - the bearer of reason and intellect, the focus of the "I", which outlines its boundaries through a personality with character. Loss of boundaries for "I" means death. Personality and character are programs from the current environment, which are lost after death along with their carrier - "I".

The change of “I”, personalities, self-consciousness, bodies is a process in which consciousness recognizes itself in a variety of options and subtleties, situations and episodes. Here it becomes difficult to describe this process, because consciousness lies not only in the area that is well described by us (and religion, and mysticism, and science) different ways and sets of concepts, but also in an area that cannot be described in principle by definitions, or in an area where there are no definitions yet. Consciousness is infinite. We can say that infinity cognizes itself in many forms, one of which - fleeting, finite and mortal - is our self-consciousness, the sense of "I". And it is not a personality, not self-consciousness that leaves us for immortality, but that which we were able to awaken and cognize in ourselves from the infinite consciousness.