How does not use foul language. Why do people start to swear at all? Limit communication with people who use obscene words in conversation

Obscene words are not best decoration person, but what if you can't wean yourself from using them? Psychologist and radio host Anetta Orlova talked about how to find compelling arguments against the mat and forget about profanity forever.

1. Understand the problem.

It is important to be clear about why you want to eradicate profanity from your life. It is impossible to achieve results without powerful motivation.

How do you find motivation? In fact, everything is very simple, it is enough to study the issue a little. Also in Soviet times a rather curious study was carried out on the topic of how mate affects all living things. The experts made three plantings of seeds. In the first group, the seeds were regularly exposed to obscene language, as a result, out of 100% less than 50% sprouted there. In the second, people swore (without swearing) and criticized. The number of germinated seeds was slightly higher, but did not reach 60%. And in the third, they said something positive to the seeds and read a prayer in front of them. Result: 95% rose. What does this mean? The word affects all living things! A person who swears a lot creates a state of internal anxiety and aggression in himself, this takes away his resources. I think it superfluous to talk about the impact swearing parents have on children.

There is another powerful motivation for women: the famous psychophysiologist Leonid Kitaev-Smyk, which the long time dealt with the problem of stress, proved that if a woman swears, it stimulates her production of male sex hormones! It turns out that the more we use profanity, the more masculine we become.

Write 5 points why you want to change your attitude towards mate and completely exclude it from your life. This is very important at the beginning of the journey.

2. Get rid of stress without mate.

You will probably be surprised, but not swearing at all is also harmful. People who are always delicate, well-mannered and behave ideally in any situation, the level of stress is usually very high. This is because they are in a situation of serious mental stress, because they are trying to be what others want them to be. And any person definitely needs relaxation! Give yourself the power to release tension. To do this, you can allocate a separate time when you can be alone with yourself: jump, sing, growl, if you want, or say some harsh words (preferably censorship). V ordinary life it will be easier for you to do without the mate.

3. Self-control and analysis.

Set yourself an alarm (timer), for example, for every hour. As soon as it rings, analyze the last 5-10 minutes for whether you used obscene words or not.

4. We give a signal.

Use a simple trick: Put an elastic band on your hand. As soon as you accidentally say something negative word you want to get rid of, pull it back and release. You will receive a negative signal. It's a small impact, of course, but it puts you back in control.

5. Help from the outside.

If in your environment they actively use obscene language and you easily follow the lead, inform everyone about your intention to get rid of the obscenities. In such a situation, people usually also try to swear less, although it is possible that someone might laugh at your idea. But, if you are an adult and self-sufficient person, this should not bother you. By the way, you can ask those around you to help keep your speech clean and correct if necessary. A similar request can be addressed to relatives. The main thing is not to get angry when they make another remark to you.

Researchers have long recognized obscene language as one of the types of speech aggression and a way to throw out negativity on the interlocutor, because any word spoken by a person carries energy. Sometimes the use of swearing becomes so commonplace that we do not even notice how often we raise our voice and express our point of view through abuse.

Profanity, used with and without reason, greatly reduces the overall vocabulary, makes speech poor and vulgar. In addition, swearing causes a painful and unpleasant impression on a well-mannered and cultured interlocutor, suggests thoughts about mental and psychological state a person (as you know, people with complexes, suffering from low self-esteem and other problems, often use foul language).

Mat is so firmly embedded in our vocabulary that sometimes, even after realizing the problem, it is not easy to get rid of it, because it requires a lot of self-control and self-control, and the first step is to identify the reasons frequent use swearing.

Three types of behavior and three main motives:

How to stop swearing

First of all, be aware that mate is not the root cause and the main problem in your life, but just a by-product of stress and psychological discomfort that is felt for a long time. Initially, a negative outlook, anger, a critical perception of oneself is formed, which is why it is so important to engage in introspection if you really want to solve a number of problems, including stopping using foul language. Take a piece of paper and write down the answers to a few questions:

• Remember in what situations do you use swearing most often, what people, events are a provoking factor?
• How does taboo vocabulary help you and how does it interfere with communicating with people?
• Imagine that you were able to cope with the problem and no longer swear. Are there any pluses in your life? Or, on the contrary, now there is no way to pour out aggression?
• Are these words really necessary, are they so important to you?

• Agree with the friend or relative you spend the most time with to reprimand you whenever you scold or fail to contain your anger.
• At first, avoid provoking factors - driving trips, long queues, conflicts with unpleasant people listening to obscene songs, etc.
• In a team, it is very effective to deal with obscene language with the help of a piggy bank, in which you need to put a certain amount for each spoken obscene word.
• Try to change the style of speech - start replacing any curse words with decent words, thinking over each phrase and saying to yourself.

If a child swears - what to do

If you suddenly find that your baby can speak obscenely like a real shoemaker, it's time to reconsider your parenting methods, because, most likely, the child's behavior is the result of parental indifference. When mom and dad are busy with something of their own and do not pay attention to their baby, why not attract attention with an abusive word, ideally when this happens in public place and a large audience becomes a witness. Spanking, exhortations, and strict notations will have no positive action, and possibly will lead to even worse consequences.

Before starting the fight against child's obscenities, it is necessary to find out what the motives of the "crime" are, they depend, first of all, on the age of the child:

The eradication of obscenities from a child's speech should not be accompanied by the same swear words, otherwise the prohibition will not be effective. When prohibiting something, be sure to support the monologue with arguments and your own example. Do not shame your child in public or use a slap on the lips as punishment.

• From the very moment of the birth of the crumbs, make sure that relatives in his environment do not use taboo vocabulary.
• If the swear word still flew from the baby's lips, for the first time pretend that you did not notice it and follow his reaction. If the child expects a response from you, then he understands well the meaning of the forbidden word and is simply provoking the parents. Perhaps, without waiting for punishment, he will lose interest in the word and forget about it.
• When an incident occurs in a public place, do not boil over and do not scold your offspring. Apologize, pretend that nothing criminal has happened and continue the conversation. And at home, having calmed down, express your opinion about the child's behavior.
• Often children themselves are asked to explain the meaning of a particular word. Try to convey to the baby that this word is abusive, it is pronounced only when they want to offend the interlocutor.
• If the mat nevertheless appeared in, ask your son or daughter to tell what this or that word means to him, whether they know its meaning. Try to replace it with a close, but more respectable phrase.

Unfortunately, many people in modern world have forgotten how to normally express their thoughts without swear words. Sometimes a person simply does not notice how often he uses obscene words in his own. In most cases, such speech causes many problems in life. That is why the topic of how to wean oneself to swear has remained relevant for a long period of time. In solving any problem, the first thing to do is to acknowledge its existence and assess the consequences, perhaps because of foul language, a breakup with a loved one occurred or serious problems at work.

How to unlearn swearing?

As with getting rid of the other bad habit have to work hard and wait. In general, there is an opinion that a person life rules are formed in 21 days, that is, if during this time you stop using foul language, the problem will disappear completely. To begin with, it is worth clarifying for yourself why swearing is bad and what such a habit can lead to. First, the attitude of the people around them, few people enjoy communicating with a boor. Secondly, many people have the opinion that if a person swears, it means that he does not have enough intelligence and upbringing to express his thoughts in normal language. As a result, this can lead to loneliness, loss of work, business, etc.

Using the above tips, after a short period of time it will be possible to notice how the language itself stumbles over swear words, which means that the path has been chosen correctly and the habit will soon be a thing of the past. By the way, when a person constantly swears, it can be assumed that he has a disease called Tourette's syndrome. In this case, in addition to constant foul language, tics of the muscles of the face, neck and shoulder girdle appear. This is all due to a disorder of the central nervous system.

Due to the fact that the way of life has changed a lot over the past centuries, many women are increasingly trying to be like men. Swear words, more, more suitable men as a way of expressing their aggression. Using the same expressions in her speech, a woman is trying to gain authority.

How to stop cursing a girl?

In a beautiful and cultured speech, there should be no obscene words, in other words - mats. But it so happened that they are present everywhere: in the office, public transport, city park, school yard. If the girl is seriously interested in the question of how to stop swearing, that is useful tips... First of all, you need to find motivation. Perhaps the girl has small children and would not want them to use foul language. Or you just want to be an educated and well-mannered girl.

How to quit swearing?

Like any bad habit, you need to get rid of swear words gradually. An important step in this situation is the realization that it is necessary to change something in life and behavior. To understand that the mat only clogs up and does not make the girl more beautiful. There should be a positive in thoughts and words, then the future will be brighter than the present.

Learning to express your thoughts correctly is very difficult for people who are accustomed to using foul language, but everything can be fixed if desired. It is very important to monitor your conversation. To do this, you can use a medical rubber band that is worn on the wrist and pull it back every time you pronounce an obscene word. A slight pain from the click of the rubber band on the skin will contribute to the development of a reflex and help get rid of the problem of how a girl can stop swearing.

Until about the middle of the 19th century, foul language in Russia was a criminal offense. During the time of Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich Romanov, a person was publicly flogged with rods for using swear words!

Obscene speech has always been considered a sign of lack of culture and belonging to the lower class. It was a kind of pointer: before you is an uneducated person who leads a dubious lifestyle and does not strive for positive changes.

Why do people swear

Talk about ignorance modern people absurd. Now more than ever environment provides an incredible amount of resources for raising the cultural level, self-development and creativity. It is logical that the mate should have become an ordinary atavism. So what's the reason?

1. The need for protection and self-affirmation

Obscene language is unique. It exists, but it is forbidden to speak in it by society. As you know, ignoring the rules occurs either out of naivety or out of fear and despair. So lovers strong word can not be named in any way.

A person tries to hide vulnerability and self-doubt behind a demonstration of aggressiveness, independence and rudeness.

The more a person experiences confusion, disorientation in life, the more often he resorts to obscenities. Like a frightened and furious animal. Growling, hissing and showing fangs.

As a result, teens swear out of fear that they will not be accepted as real. It's easier to assert yourself according to the general laws of the pack, to be like everyone else. And adults, bearing a huge burden of responsibility, swear to drown out the feeling of fear due to possible failures.

The saddest thing is when people use mate in communication with each other. Insulting and humiliating the interlocutor, the opponent tries to assert himself at the expense of the other and at least for a second feel his superiority. Even if it is inappropriate from a moral and ethical point of view, in a way.

2. Laziness of mind

Indeed, why strain and waste energy on the correct construction of sentences, the selection of expressive words and the use of effective oratorical techniques.

After all, why waste time explaining in verbose flowery phrases what can be expressed in a second in one word.

Pronounced "bl ..." with different intonation coloring will save the sleeping brain and not disturb the memory. Disappointed: "Well, dear Klavdia Petrovna, have you forgotten again about the existence of a new model for writing service notes." Aggressive: "Colleague, did you not see that you are placing this heavy box right on my leg." Delighted: "Look how extraordinarily beautiful around!"

The ability to communicate fully and beautifully is replaced by useless hums of different duration and tone. Gradually, the vocabulary is depleted, and it becomes more and more difficult to speak the correct Russian language.

3. Constant tension and stress

It has long been proven that the mat will briefly release steam and feel functional again. Modern people have enough reasons for stress and conflict situations.

A person uses obscene speech as a defense against outside world... He's like a bristling hedgehog.

Such a person constantly experiences such strong psychological discomfort that over and over again he simply ceases to notice the problems of other people, becomes less sympathetic and benevolent.

And this model of behavior is transferred to the entire perception of the world, a negative self-perception is formed, other people and events begin to irritate. Swearing words have been proven to increase adrenaline levels, body temperature and blood pressure. Like alcohol or drugs.

A person realizes that he is beginning to be sucked into a destructive funnel of aggression, a split interpersonal relationships, lack of self-understanding. He loses control of himself and his life.

How to stop using foul language

It turns out that the mat does not exist by itself, but is side effect negative changes taking place in a person.

It is useless to force yourself not to swear. You need to find the root cause and understand yourself.

Take some time to introspect. Take a paper and a pen, sit comfortably in your favorite chair, relax. Write down your ideas and reflections.

1. Try to remember what was the prerequisite for using the mat in your speech. Write on a piece of paper the actions and words of other people, situations for which you usually swear.
2. How much profanity helps you, and under what circumstances? And in what way does its use interfere?
3. Imagine that you have stopped cursing. Are you more comfortable? Or, on the contrary, you want to pour out the accumulated aggression and negative emotions in other forms?
4. How badly do you need a checkmate?

Analyze your answers. Think over a plan of action to return the excellent Russian language to your speech based on the recommendations given.

Change your attitude towards people and circumstances. Having understood the reasons that make you want to swear, try to either change your attitude towards them, or delete them from life.

For example, you swear while driving. It is clear that you are constantly worried internally, bearing responsibility for the passengers and the safety of the car. Pedestrians scurrying across the road anywhere and dashing drivers are perceived by you as a potential threat. You are afraid this is normal.

But is there any point in getting angry and swearing, thereby reducing the concentration of attention while driving? Other road users are unlikely to pay attention to you, and the mat will not change the general situation on the road. It may be easier to exhale and, humming your favorite melody, calmly drive home in great mood without winding yourself up.

Learn to relax. You can relieve stress by playing sports, your favorite hobby, spending time with loved ones or in nature. As you learn to take time and relieve stress, you will find that you use foul language less and less often.

Build your confidence. You cannot endlessly assert yourself at the expense of other people. You need your own inner rod, feeling like a person you respect, value and love. The one who is confident in himself possesses inner strength and a strong spirit, will never allow himself to humiliate a person and walk on his pride.

Try to control your emotions. The most effective option is to mentally count to ten before answering an unpleasant person for you or reacting to the current situation. Replace obscene words with alternative expressions from normal Russian. It takes a little practice and patience to get used to.

Develop constantly. Don't stop there. Read more quality literature, expand your vocabulary. Go to virtual educational sites, improve your qualifications, master related specialties, be interested in the world. Set new goals, dream, move forward.

It will give you self-confidence and make positive changes in your life. It is likely that you will get to know interesting people, with whom it is pleasant to talk without a mat. In addition, you will learn how to enjoy using beautiful and rich phrases.