Girls mature earlier. Girls grow up, boys “slow down”: how gender affects the development of a child

11.04.2019

I had to re-learn biological side question in more detail, as something is forgotten. In general, from the point of view of biology, girls do "grow up" faster than boys, but this only manifests itself in puberty. Puberty in girls begins on average at 12 years of age and ends by 17 years of age, while in boys this process takes an average of 13 to 18 years. I can’t say exactly what caused this, but I assume that nature thus wanted to increase the time in which a woman can give birth.

If we are talking about growing up, that is, the psychological development of the personality, which, although associated with physiological development but mostly social. The link below has a good wikipedia article on the subject.

If we say that growing up is primarily a social process, then we certainly come to the conclusion that it is mainly culturally determined and depends on those social conditions in which man grows and develops. Elkonin D.B. there is a wonderful book "Psychology of the game", in which he describes the growing up of a child in the northern tribes. One of the key features of the described culture is simplicity. Men are engaged in fishing, and women "keeping the hearth." So, in such a society, a child becomes an adult at the age of 8-10, when he can independently fish or take care of the house. That is, he becomes a full-fledged member of the tribe.

To be an adult in our social world it is the willingness and ability to take responsibility for one's actions and to fulfill the duties entrusted to you. Simply put, autonomy, self-reliance and integrity.

If, based on the foregoing, we look at our society (by ours I mean in this case most of the developed world, from the USA to Germany), then here, too, the leading activity of women, which is set as a cultural norm, is somewhat easier to master than the activity of men. In the sense that it is easier for the average girl to achieve childbearing than for the average man to find a job with a high-paying salary that can provide for the whole family. Therefore, women mature earlier, because they reach maturity faster in terms of the requirements of compliance with the social role that society has given them.

However, if you look at the trends recent years, which are mainly related to the blurring of the boundaries between social roles(and even genders) of men and women. Men are starting to take care of the house, and women are starting to pursue a career, all this is successfully combined. As a result, the conditionality of division by gender is revealed, the results of many studies are called into question, including the well-established opinion that women grow up earlier.

In general, no, girls do not grow up faster, this is a myth.

Boys and girls are already born different, and every year these differences become more noticeable. But is it really that boys develop more slowly than their peers, or are they just different - with different interests, ways of thinking and abilities? Child psychologist will tell you how to raise sons and daughters, taking into account their gender characteristics.

We are so different

In an old joke three year old boy asks his parents to give salt, and they exclaim in delight: “Sashenka, you finally spoke! He was silent for three years! The young talent in response says: “What is there to talk about with you?” Approximately in the same way in real life development of young boys and girls.

It is believed that young ladies they begin to speak earlier, and do it fluently, non-stop, sometimes they immediately reproduce phrases and sentences. And this is indeed the case. But the point here is not the backwardness of the representatives of the stronger sex, but the fact that the brain of women is imprisoned for mastering social skills, communication, obtaining information, recognizing emotions.

From an evolutionary point of view, boys need such abilities to a much lesser extent. But the boy develops better physically and finds non-standard solutions to the tasks. For the same reason, boys are less successful in school, among them there are more three-year-olds.

The education system is largely focused on the girlish style of thinking - mastering the rules, acting according to a pattern, monotonous repetition of a task until the skill of solving it is fully mastered. But if capable boys are lucky with teachers who can captivate them with extraordinary tasks for which they need to come up with an answer, then learning proceeds no worse than girls.

The biggest differences in the maturation of children of different sexes are observed in adolescence. If earlier studies and knowledge were in the foreground, then at the age of 9-12 there is a change in the leading type of activity - communication begins to dominate.

Transitional age is almost always a hormonal storm and a crisis in self-awareness and self-perception. But the boys difficult period can last from 12 to 18 years, and in girls - from 9-10 to 15-16 years.

In fact, a high school student is already a practically formed girl, while her classmate is almost a child.

Psychologists note that during this period, peers cease to be them psychologically. And when the boy's parents can still live as before, without changing anything in their behavior and communication strategies with their son, the girls' parents are already in a completely different life situation.

Both boys and girls in the period of growing up ask the question “Who am I?”, Rebuild the system of relations. Therefore, losing the trust of the child, which used to be unconditional, becomes extremely simple.

Previously, it was possible to tell a son or daughter what to do, what to do, give an order or read a moral. Now any attempt by parents to act according to the old scenario, with moralizing, orders and advice, is perceived by the child with hostility and only aggravates the situation.

Even boys, more prone to logical thinking, in adolescence, they stop listening to arguments, evidence, advice and suggestions ready-made solutions. Building relationships with children during the transition from childhood to adolescence can be based on new forms of communication.

Demonstrating understanding, using "I-statements" ("I'm worried when I don't know where you are", "I'm scared", "I'm tired", "I'm at a loss") will help to get closer to the child and understand how he feels and what thinks. The phrases “I understand you”, “you are angry”, “you are offended”, “you feel bad”, “you are upset”, “you don’t want to do anything” will make it clear that mom and dad really strive to be there, to empathize, which means they can be trusted, share experiences and listen to their opinion.

Girls in the making Special attention give own appearance and attractiveness. For them, “I am beautiful” means “beautiful in general, as a person”, that is, the outer shell becomes inseparable from the content - skills and abilities, talents and abilities. The same applies to negative assessment, That's why psychologist Maria Lomakina advises parents to remember this feature: “It is important to refrain from critical remarks about the figure, clothes and attractiveness of the daughter. To protect the girl from rash acts, it is necessary to earn the trust of a teenager. If young girl trusts her parents, she will talk about things that concern her, make a decision, taking into account the information she received from her parents.

The boy, unlike the girl, does not perceive himself only as an outer shell. It is important for him to be successful in different areas, to have useful skills and abilities. In turn, parents can help him develop responsibility and the ability to solve problems, and these skills will be useful in the future.

Psychologist Maria Lomakina notes: “Especially important during this period is communication with a father or another man, on the example of which a teenager learns to behave. Trust and authority are important to him instead of pressure and diktat of parents..

It should also be remembered that boys cannot withstand emotional stress for a long time, so sometimes it happens that with a long showdown, they simply turn off the conversation, stop listening to the moralizing of their parents. It is better to talk with them briefly and in detail, so that the consciousness has time to catch important information.

As for the reasons for the “slowdown” in the growing up of boys, there is an opinion that their childhood is dragged out, because historically active life men was much longer than women.

The period of action, adult existence, the appearance of children in women passed from 17-18 to 35-36 years, and in men this process began a couple of years later, but ended well after forty.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that a young man who has to protect his family and be responsible for the well-being of his loved ones needs to gain experience, become responsible, independent and independent. In other words, grow up. And this happens much later than at 18 years old. At the same time, it is important for a young woman to give birth to healthy children, and nature made sure that they appear as early as possible, while the body is young and full of strength.

Another theory is put forward by geneticists who claim that hormones in the boy's body stimulate physical development, struggling with those responsible for growing up and puberty. And since ancient man, and even for a modern man, the skill of obtaining food is more important, psychological development boys is a little late and begins when the child is already prepared physically.

But in any case, despite gender differences, by the age of 20-23, both boys and girls turn into boys and girls. This process most often does not need to be corrected, but rather deserves the supervision and support that only loving and caring parents can give.

Newspaper "Our World"

When teaching their sons to read and write before entering school, many parents are surprised to notice that boys take longer to learn to read and write than girls. Why?

When Differences Arise

They are different from the very beginning and develop in different ways. Boys are usually larger than girls at birth and have more head And more weight. Of course, there are individual differences, but now we are talking about average data. Boys start walking later by about 2-3 months, and start talking 4-6 months later.

Neuropsychologists, recording the biocurrents of the brain of newborn children, found that the brain of boys and girls works differently from the very beginning.

Until the age of 8, the hearing acuity of boys is on average higher than that of girls, but girls are more sensitive to noise, it tires them faster. Girls also have higher tactile sensitivity, they are more irritated by bodily discomfort and at the same time they are more responsive to touch and stroking.

Girls' games are more often based on near vision: girls play with dolls, rags, beads, buttons in a limited space, a small corner is enough for them. Boys' games are more often based on distant vision: they run after each other, throw objects into the distance, using all the space around them. Boys for a full mental development generally require more space than girls. If the horizontal plane is not enough for them, they master the vertical one: they climb on the cabinets, run along the backs of the sofas, hang on the door frames ... The mastered space is reflected in different ways in the children's drawings. Boys, drawing the neighborhood of their house, show more yards, squares, streets, houses than girls. The girls fill the albums with princesses and self-portraits, while the boys fill them with cars and military battles.

God's Design

Where do these differences in the psyche of boys and girls come from? Scientists believe that this is a divine plan. The female sex retains in the genetic memory all the most valuable acquisitions of evolution, while the male sex, on the contrary, easily loses the old and acquires the new - some of these acquisitions may come in handy in the future, at the time of extreme conditions.

Many female representatives are needed to continue the species.

The fishery is set to “save” the female sex, and it “does not feel sorry for the male”. On males, all the novelties of evolution are worked out. From this, men have more of both beneficial and harmful genetic mutations. For example, more deaf boys are born than deaf girls. Color blindness is also more common in men. There are more boys among children with strabismus, stuttering, dyslexia, mental retardation.

The brain of a man is larger, more advanced in development, but less reliable and very vulnerable. With all the changes - both natural and social - men suffer more. But they have a search behavior: so that they can survive by finding another habitat, where it is warmer and more satisfying. Therefore, men, including boys, are prone to the development of new spaces, risky actions, they are quick-witted in difficult situations and are able to make unconventional decisions.

Who is stronger than

Of course, this does not mean that not a single girl will put forward a new idea, but all the same, boys and men solve fundamentally new tasks better. But they do not attach importance to the thoroughness of the decision and the accuracy of the design. The boy can find custom solution mathematical problem, but make a mistake in the calculations and as a result get a deuce. Girls, like all women, are better at performing typical, template tasks, but they carefully work out the details.

Girls have more fluent speech, they read faster and write more beautifully, but the side of speech that is associated with the search (selection of word associations, solving crossword puzzles) is better for boys. Boys are more developed spatial representation, because the performance of spatial-visual tasks requires a search. Therefore, boys are better at solving geometric problems: they mentally rotate the figures and superimpose them one on top of the other. And girls, including female teachers, designate corners and sides with letters and then operate with letter symbols and templates-theorems.

If your son learns to read and write much more slowly than his older sister, poorly retells and carelessly writes letters, do not worry, this is a feature male mind. In addition, the childhood of boys lasts longer. By the age of 7 they are in their own way biological age younger than girls of the same age by a whole year.

Boys have their own way of growing up, but since they are more information-oriented than girls, for them intellectual development you don't have to worry.

When a woman teaches a boy, her own children's experience, comparing yourself in childhood with him is wrong and useless. Scolding the boy, state briefly and precisely what you are unhappy with. He cannot bear the emotional stress for long. His brain turns off the auditory canal and the child stops hearing you.

Interesting

Boys, even very young ones, are less likely to be picked up by their parents and more often scolded than girls. In relation to them, the speech of adults contains mostly direct instructions: "Go away, bring it, give it, do it, stop it ...". And with girls, even one-year-olds, parents talk about sensory states: “I like ... Do you love? Who is this sad…”

And what do you think about that?

It seems that girls are more prepared for sexual life. This is facilitated primarily by the offensive menstrual cycle and the need to explain this phenomenon. If a girl is not prepared, she may be frightened, which will undoubtedly affect her sexual socialization in the future.

The main role in such preparation historically belongs to the mother. Since the arrival of menstruation crowns the crisis of the girl's development, it is necessary to help her experience the physiological changes that have occurred to her less painfully. It must be understood that the child experiences discomfort, expressed in a change of mood, in depression, or, conversely, in hyperactivity.

There is a huge hormonal shift, which undoubtedly affects the psyche of the child. With the advent of menstruation, the girl switches to a qualitatively new social level, she forms a new type of sexual-role relations with her peers. She begins to feel like a "little woman." It is not for nothing that researchers notice a significant maturation of girls compared to boys at the border of primary school and adolescence.

The girl is already more mature at birth. She usually before a boy begins to walk, and by the period of puberty, the difference in biological maturation reaches two years. Let's remember the initial, and high school. Tall, feminine, developed girls and slender, basically short boys. The difference is felt not only in the physical, but also in the behavioral aspects. Girls are already older, they are easier to socialize, especially since schools are replete with female teacher influence.

It seems to me that the important question is not who exactly matures earlier: girls or boys, but how we, adults, prepare children for the development of sex roles. In this regard, I would like to cite as an example, and perhaps the goal of sexual education, a certain code of sexual balance, compiled by the American pediatrician Allan Fromm. The text is abbreviated. (Alan Fromm. ABC for parents, Leningrad, 1991. S. 200-201):

1. Normal person enjoys sexual intimacy. This means that he does not experience any shame or fear, or disgust or hostility. He looks at sexual life like absolutely natural phenomenon, as a manifestation of healthy life, from which he receives satisfaction.

2. He is able to sexually express his love. This means that he is content not only with romantic performances and tender feelings but also uses his body to show love.

3. He understands his sexual function in life. Although there are some feminine traits in every man, and masculine features in every woman, a person who is well adapted to life is distinguished by his pronounced gender identity and does not change it.

4. He behaves differently with men and women. Doesn't treat men like women and vice versa. Sexual adaptation is an essential part of general adaptation, adaptation to the conditions of life, so we cannot count on sexual balance if we do not learn to love our neighbor and live in harmony with him.

5. He does not need special information about the biological structure of the genital organs, even if often, especially before reaching adulthood, he is not sufficiently aware in this sense. This means that the theoretical concept of sexuality or practical experience not so essential for our general sexual balance. Something else is much more important - what we imagine about it and how we relate to this side of life.

If your son learns to read and write much more slowly than his older sister did, retells poorly and writes letters carelessly, do not be upset, this is a feature of the male mind

When teaching their sons to read and write before entering school, many parents are surprised to notice that boys take longer to learn to read and write than girls. Why?

When Differences Arise

They are different from the very beginning and develop in different ways. Boys at birth are usually larger than girls, they have a larger head and more weight. Of course, there are individual differences, but now we are talking about average data. Boys start walking later by about 2–3 months, and start talking 4–6 months later.

Neuropsychologists, recording the biocurrents of the brain of newborn children, found that the brain of boys and girls works differently from the very beginning.

Girls' games are more often based on near vision: girls play with dolls, rags, beads, buttons in a limited space, a small corner is enough for them. Boys' games are more often based on distant vision: they run after each other, throw objects into the distance, using all the space around them. Boys generally require more space than girls for full mental development. If the horizontal plane is not enough for them, they master the vertical one: they climb on the cabinets, run along the backs of the sofas, hang on the door frames ... The mastered space is reflected in different ways in the children's drawings. Boys, drawing the neighborhood of their house, show more yards, squares, streets, houses than girls. The girls fill the albums with princesses and self-portraits, while the boys fill them with cars and military battles.

nature's design

Where do these differences in the psyche of boys and girls come from? Scientists believe that this is the design of nature. Two opposing tendencies always struggle in evolution: on the one hand, nature needs to preserve what has already been created, to fix in the species those features that it needs, to pass them on by inheritance and, therefore, to make descendants as similar as possible to their parents. And on the other hand, progress implies a variety of descendants, among which there will be one who will allow the species to adapt to new conditions, to expand its habitat. These two trends embody the male and female genders. The female sex retains in the genetic memory all the most valuable acquisitions of evolution, while the male sex, on the contrary, easily loses the old and acquires the new - some of these acquisitions may come in handy in the future, at the time of the occurrence of extreme conditions.

Many female representatives are needed to continue the species. Nature "protects" the female sex, and she "does not feel sorry for" the male. On males, all the novelties of evolution are worked out. From this, men have more of both beneficial and harmful genetic mutations. For example, more deaf boys are born than deaf girls. Color blindness is also more common in men. There are more boys among children with strabismus, stuttering, dyslexia, mental retardation.

The brain of a man is larger, more advanced in development, but less reliable and very vulnerable. With all the changes - both natural and social - men suffer more. But nature endowed them with search behavior: so that they could survive by finding another habitat, where it is warmer and more satisfying. Therefore, men, including boys, are prone to exploring new spaces, risky actions, they are quick-witted in difficult situations and are able to make unconventional decisions.

Who is stronger than

How do these features of the male “device” affect the education of boys? In preschool and primary school age, girls verbally “beat” boys. Their speech is better developed, but their thinking is more of the same type. Boys think outside the box and are interesting, but because they are silent, their inner world is often hidden from us.
Of course, this does not mean that not a single girl will put forward a new idea, but all the same, boys and men solve fundamentally new tasks better. But they do not attach importance to the thoroughness of the decision and the accuracy of the design. A boy can find a non-standard solution to a mathematical problem, but make a mistake in the calculations and get a deuce as a result. Girls, like all women, are better at performing typical, template tasks, but they carefully work out the details.

Girls have more fluent speech, they read faster and write more beautifully, but the side of speech that is associated with the search (selection of word associations, solving crossword puzzles) is better for boys. Boys have a more developed spatial representation, because the performance of spatial-visual tasks requires a search. Therefore, boys are better at solving geometric problems: they mentally rotate the figures and superimpose them one on top of the other. And girls, including female teachers, designate corners and sides with letters and then operate with letter symbols and templates-theorems.

* * *

If your son learns to read and write much more slowly than his older sister did, retells poorly and writes letters carelessly, do not be upset, this is a feature of the male mind. In addition, the childhood of boys lasts longer. By the age of 7, they are younger than girls of the same age by a whole year in their biological age.

Boys have their own way of growing up, but since they are more information-oriented than girls, you don’t have to worry about their intellectual development.

Important

When a woman teaches a boy, her own childhood experience is of little use; comparing herself in childhood with him is wrong and useless. Scolding the boy, state briefly and precisely what you are unhappy with. He cannot bear the emotional stress for long. His brain turns off the auditory canal and the child stops hearing you.

Marina Kirina

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