How to create your first dating email. How to write a letter for dating: important rules

20.04.2019

I received this angry letter today:

« You all promise to tell about your club, but I still don't understand what you do there. How can a whole company look for a husband? Are you a herd and run from site to site? Can you be more specific? I'm really interested, but it's not clear how the club can help me. And what should I do if I hardly know the language? Although on the Internet for more than six months. Best regards, Antonina. "

You are right, Antonina, lately I have been so carried away by a selection of various useful resources for clients who really want to find a man, themselves and improve their own lives that the blog has receded into the background.
We are very meticulous about the first letter to a man. After all, not everyone can chat or talk on the phone due to poor language skills. There are many techniques for maintaining communication at a low language level. By the way, one of the club's meetings in December was devoted to this issue. You will be able to read and listen to some excerpts from it next week.

I already have a plan to publish some of the materials, and you will be able to read them very soon. And today I propose to consider in practice the first letter to a foreigner as an example. True, it is designed for those who speak English.

One of the club members (let's call her Mila) asked to work with her individually on the first letter, which is usually sent in response to the interest shown by a man on a dating site:

“Recently registered on the siteru. fdating. comand on the very first day I received 14 letters from men. I was delighted, many were very interesting. I sent 7 of them my first letter and…. all. I have not received a single answer. By a sinful deed I already thought thatgooglewhere my mailbox is located is not entirely in order. Does it happen when letters do not reach? But then I thought, what if there is something wrong with my letter? Although, I redid it, but everything can be ... Maybe you will read the text again, fresh eyes? And will you find the reason? I will be very grateful to you. "

Mila continues:

“I have been thinking about how to write the first letter to a foreigner and about its content from the beginning of our training sessions. I think, I think, and I have the feeling that the more I think and reflect, the more I get into a dead end. And as soon as again I start to write it in a new version, then everything turns out as before, or nothing at all.

And I listen to our trainings, and I made notes of what should be written and what should not be written in a notebook. How straight a schoolgirl! And all the same, I can't create my true image. Rather, truly attractive to the male half. Now, it seems to me that I over-praised myself, then on the contrary, I write a lot of unnecessary things about the shortcomings.

I would like to write this the first letter to meet a man, which will be like a "bomb", completely unlike the bulk of letters that women write.

But, there are already shifts in self-knowledge of oneself, and they began with our acquaintance.

By the way, I recently received this the man's reaction to my profile... I must say that I did not expect it. There she is:

“Hello Mila!
Let's get to know each other. Your profile is fundamentally different from any other that I have ever seen. Very very conscious, mature, goal-oriented and self-reflective (if they say so in Russian). What I didn't see is what you need a family for. What do you want and enjoy giving to your partner? "

Well, Mila and I also worked hard on the questionnaire during the training "Secret Weapon: Marrying a Foreigner" (link). I always urge you to constantly improve your profiles, change texts, photos, and respond to questions in a different way. Everything needs to be tested in practice, and not puzzled over what the problem is.

We corrected the questionnaire, and now it's the turn of the first letter. Here is its text:

Please note that this is an example of an unsuccessful first letter. I want you to see the mistakes with your own eyes and not make them in your letters.

Let we start to inproduce to each other, I was married and I devorced 3 years ago now.I live together with my 6 years old son Danis and my Mom.She is my best friend and helper with my son, when i have too much work.Was you married, do you have children?
My occupation seamsress-designer and now I work seller-consulter at wedding salon.What kind of job do you have?
Even there is enough info about you in your profile, still, I would like to know more about you, more detaily, that way I ask you more questions :-)
If you would ask me, what am I like?
I am good listener but not a teller.I dont really like to chat about little things and to be in center of attention.I am very calm, especilly at work, trying to reduce a negative emotions.I am very peaceful person and I am for peace in whole Peace: -) !!! My Logan — dont judge anybody and it won’t get back to you!
The monotony is not for me, this is oppressing. I wear different clothes, like it feels by mood: one day I can go on high heels and slim dress and another day I can wear jeanse and macasins.I dont wear tennis shoes at all, only for shapping.
THis i sthe same at food preference, I want to try something new always.I tried many different cultures cousins, but how it is possible to love frog's legs or boiled snails with poridge? I cannot understand it !!!
I love sew, knitting and to change interier in the house.
well, here I am, told you a little bit about myself.

I answered Mila:

“This is a rather weak English, sometimes I even hardly understand the meaning. Don't you have this text in Russian? If you send it to me, I will definitely re-translate and correct it.

It seems to me that you should not show your rejection of other cultures in the first letter - you say that you do not perceive frogs and snails as food. Well, no one forces! Let others eat as they please. And you, as it were, show a lack of breadth of views on the opinions and habits of others. On the contrary, it is necessary to show that you are tolerant of other people's views and open to learn new things for yourself.

Why didn't you answer? Indistinct English, rejection of foreign cultures, it is written a little messy, inconsistent. "

The first letter is usually prepared in advance. You can't write almost the same thing over and over again every time. Some details "for animating" are usually added to such a blank, so that the letter looks alive and addressed exactly to this person... Explanations in Russian are given in brackets than to fill in the first paragraph. "

After editing, the letter looked like this:

First letter to a foreigner example

But this is a better version of the letter.

Hello ...,
Thanks for your answer, I was really glad to receive it. So, let’s talk!

I reread your profile once again, and I liked that you wrote about your ...(use some detail from his profile)As I see, you are… ( clarifying question about this part) Is it right?

OK, I said a lot about me in my profile. As you could see, I was married. I divorced 3 years ago. My son is 6 y.o. What about you? Do you have children?

I am a seamstress and a clothes designer. I work as a shop assistant and consultant at a wedding parlor. My job is so creative and enjoyable. What can be better than seeing happy smiles of happy brides! I do like to make girls beautiful, so they look like beauty queens in their wedding day. It's so rewarding to receive their gratitude when they leave our shop. And what are you doing for living?

I am not a great narrator, but a great listener. Being in the spotlight is not comfortable for me. I hate empty talks or silly gossips (oh, women are very skilful at this, aren’t they?).

I avoid all kinds of conflicts and quarrels. I am the most peaceful person in the whole world! I follow the rule: do not criticize others and you won’t be criticized by others.

My preferences? Variety in everything, especially in clothes and food. It depends on my mood. Today I can wear high heels and a tight elegant gown, tomorrow I change them to blue jeans and moccasins. Sneakers? They are good for my exercises in the gym.

I am always curious to try different ethnic cuisine, something new and exotic. Although I have some concerns regarding boiled snails and frogs' legs ... Just kidding)) Have you ever tried any meals of Russian cuisine? I do love cooking (hint!). You know, my guests often complain that my meals are way too delicious because they overeat when visit me.

Well, I guess it’s enough for today. Ah, one more thing: I am never bored being with myself. When I have some spare time, I like doing something for my home: to change interior, to sew or knit. But I am not a completely homebody as I am active and adore all kind of outdoors activity.

I am curious to know how you spend your spare time. Do you practice any sport?

I send you a photo, so you remember how I look. 🙂 Please do not forget to attach some of your pictures as well, OK?

I am looking forward to getting your answer.

(Enjoy your weekend) - this can be added if you write on Friday.

Mila

P.S. My English is not that good, this letter was translated by someone. But I am able to understand you and write by myself.

This can hardly be called a "bomb", but ease of reading is important to us. Most likely, it should be further shortened or simply split into two parts and sent one after the other. You can see that there is not a lot of personal information in the letter, but for a start it is not information about the girl that is important, but the intonation with which she speaks, her ability to establish an acquaintance, to catch interest. A unique image will line up gradually, in each successive letter.

Since this letter is a response to someone's, it is advisable to quote from the men's questionnaire some phrase that touched you to the quick and ask about it (at the beginning of the letter).

What is one of the main mistakes of our girls? They aim to squeeze in as much as possible more information about yourself in one letter at once. And it, like a heavy brick, falls on the head of a poor man, who has to read all this and pick out grains of meaning, like raisins from a cake.

This is just a small example of the day-to-day work of the club. Such case studies are analyzed in our forum in the most detailed way.

Ah, I forgot to answer Antonina. Regarding the herd running from site to site - this is not about us. Each member of the club conducts her private work independently. If she has questions or bewilderments, she asks for advice or specific help.

What do you think about this?

5. Content:
Short letters are not very effective for dating. A person is a complex nature, so it is impossible to put all his characteristics in one line. However, very often people, first of all, in response to a questionnaire, write just short, sometimes one sentence, or even a phrase, letters. This is a kind of probing, checking the seriousness of the intentions of the person who posted the questionnaire. They reply to such letters only in the absence of others more interesting letters... But, what is most surprising, people continue to write such letters, and, at times, behind a short, uninformative phrase: “Hello! My name is Lesha. Let's get to know each other! ”- a very interesting and worthy of attention human.

Letters - "personal data"- rather stupid letters, designed only for compatibility in physical parameters. Usually this is not enough for acquaintance. As a rule, when they get to know you, they expect something special and new from you. You have to interest the person, give him what he is looking for on the net - and, as a rule, this is a new sensation or a promise of the fulfillment of his desires. Above all, this is a challenge for men, as women are looking for more than just male society online.

Example:
“My name is Mikhail, 29 years old, height 172cm. Without bad habits, I do not smoke, I drink rarely and in moderation. I am a workaholic by nature (I live a job that I like). Ready to meet, chat with possible consequences... If you are not averse - write, Mikhail. "

Humorous and ironic letters- Irony and humor in the first letter are inappropriate, unless such behavior is a part of your life, and you are ready to joke "all night long." Humor, usually, is characteristic of people under the age of 30, who are still romantic, and for whom the whole life is still ahead, and it must be fun to live it. If you are already over 30, but you want to have fun, then write about it in the next letter, but not in the first one. Otherwise, you may simply be misunderstood, and you will look very strange in the eyes of the interlocutor. In general, a sense of humor is a very valuable quality of a person, and therefore do not hesitate to use it when meeting.

Example:
“Surprisingly, this is the first ad written by a girl with a head on her shoulders, not a make-up showcase. And if the photo is yours, then you are amusing in your youth and insolence, that's just what it is for? Do you like to play tricks, to scoff? Good too! And yet .... I would like to talk to you, you, in my opinion, are the most amusing little man! B.P. "

Romantic, sensual, emotional letters with "personal data" or with a brief mention of "personal data"- Romance is a state of mind. If your state of mind is different, then never write romantic letters. Well, if you really are romantic or at least 10-20% romantic, then do not miss the chance to take advantage of this. A huge number of people come to the Internet who want to learn the taste of a romantic acquaintance, especially if we consider that, in itself, acquaintance via the Internet for some acquires a romantic connotation. One thing is that young people aged 24-25 who write romantic letters 40-year-old ladies and receive answers from them, already speaks about something. And if you write the same letter to a young girl or young man... In this case, your letter will have a great chance of being noticed. As for the question: “Write personal data or not?”, The answer is: Write, then you will throw off a certain veil from the secrets of your personality, and this will begin to determine your further relations already at the stage of the first letter. If you do not leave personal data, then the person will be intrigued, and if he is romantic as much as your letter is romantic, or accepts romanticism in principle, then this person will definitely answer you. Thus, in the case of the first option, people who are unsuitable in terms of parameters will be cut off, and in the case of the second - inappropriate in terms of the state of their soul. Which is better, you choose.

Example:
" Hey, mysterious stranger!
An intriguing greeting. Is not it? It just so happened that I don't know you at all, but all the same, your profile managed to intrigue me. I found it in the "passionate love" section and decided to write to you. After reading your profile, I simply could not tear myself away from the image before my eyes, which attracts and burns with its beauty. It was as if you accidentally entered my soul and remained in its depths. The gracefulness and grace of your movements are so attractive in the sunshine that the heavenly azure that enveloped our earth simply cannot hold this mighty source within itself, and launched it here - in virtual. It probably sounds stupid and funny, but I wanted to suddenly take you away from the virtual and return you to real world feelings and pleasures. Let me try to do this. Please do not deprive the hungry traveler of that small tender living violet that he found in this virtual void. My name is Roman. Already 26 years have passed since my birth. During this time, my main hobbies were economics, the Internet, psychology, cinema and art, but they did not bring me such feelings and emotions as the thought that you and I can be together. I look forward to your early reply.

With love in my heart and hope in my soul.
Your Romantic "

And here is an example of a woman's letter, which is simply delightful (believe me, such letters are very rare on the Internet in mailboxes men):
“Good day, Vasily! By the way, is it okay if it's just Vasya or Basil or something else? And then Vasily is somehow very formal. This morning in my horoscope for the sake of laughter I read the forecast for today. There they promised me romantic acquaintance that will have for me great importance on long time forward. Well, I think this is fate, not otherwise. But somehow no one comes up to me first, there are no charming strangers in the elevator, no one steps on my feet, no one asked what time it was. Well, nothing, I'm an assertive girl. If the mountain does not go to Mohammed ... In short, I go to a dating site and find the profile of a person who believes in love. Well, maybe not only nonsense is written in horoscopes, what if I have a chance? :)) Well, now ... I am writing to you, why more ..?
And now a little about me. Small (152), thin (40th size), seemingly modest, but very temperamental inside. My name is Katyushka, I am 24 years old, I work as a nurse, divorced. I'll send you two pictures. It seems that I did nothing with them. I really hope for an answer. "

Problem letters- never write about your problems to the person you want to meet. Having problems will only alienate you, not attract you. Everyone has their own problems and no one wants to solve someone else's.

Example:
" Hey,
It was a great sunny day in the morning, but by the middle of the day the clouds began to thicken. The weather is changing. That's the way mine state of mind, then it flares up like a flame into which diesel fuel has been poured, then it goes out. This is probably okay. Emotions in a person have always been considered a virtue. However, emotions must be put somewhere, somewhere to be thrown out. After all, if the reactor starts to smoke, and then pour water on it, it can explode. It is better to spend energy gradually, without haste. For this, a person needs someone who will understand him, accept him, become his friend, and maybe even something more. The latter depends on the circumstances. I will not talk about myself yet, I think from my introduction you have already understood something. Photo will complement the big picture.
Waiting for an answer.
Maksim "

Talking to a girl who likes the Internet is easier than in real life. In a couple of clicks, you can find out everything about her: where she works or study, what she enjoys, what films she watches and what kind of music she listens to. But what to write to her in the first message in the contact so that the girl would pay attention and want to continue the conversation? In our article we will tell you about what must be in the first message, and what should not be there, and at the end of the article you will find several examples good acquaintances on the internet ...

Preparing for an acquaintance: a few important rules

Before starting a correspondence, you need to:

Tidy up your page. Choosing a good avatar, filling out the "About Me" section, publishing beautiful pictures etc.
Choose a girl. We choose a girl from our city, we filter out fake accounts, we find common interests, possible topics for conversation.

How to properly prepare your social media page networks to meet and choose the right girl, we told in detail in. Be sure to read this article before you start writing your first post.

What should be the first message to a girl: 3 main questions

The first message should be short, but should directly or indirectly respond to 3 main questions, which will surely appear in the head of any girl after she reads your "Hello".

These questions are:

Who you are: what is your name, how did you find it on the net;
Purpose of acquaintance: chat, have fun, go on a date;
The reason why you chose it: what do you have in common, what did you like about it.

The order of these theses can vary depending on the situation.

The main task the first message - to interest the girl, make her pay attention to you. You don't have to write an entire sheet of text or come up with complex greetings to do this. 1-2 well-chosen simple sentences are enough.

Don't forget to say hello and introduce myself the name your friends call you. Avoid too familiar forms ("Sanyok", etc.). Yes, the page already has your name, but presentation is a simple form of etiquette when meeting someone.

Don't know what excuse to come up with for communication? Desire to communicate- this is already a great excuse for the first message. Do not intimidate the girl by talking about the desire to start a family and have children, even if you are really looking for a future spouse.

Look carefully at her page - pay attention to books, music, films and publics. How is a girl different from others? What is she proud of? What unites you?

Write what you saw on her page photos from a recent concert of your favorite band or that you noticed a selection of Nolan's works in her videos. Show her that she is not just another girl to whom you copy-paste the prepared text, but that she is special. She will at least be interested in what kind of person you are, if you point out the community of interests, and she wants to continue communication.

Examples of good phrases for dating

Here are 3 original examples from the life of the beginning of a conversation in VK, which can be used as a model.

Example 1. A beautiful compliment - an original start to a conversation

Hi, Olya! My name is Vadim. I accidentally came across your page and wanted to meet you. The smile on the avatar is painfully charming :)

Well, hello, Vadim! Thanks for the compliment…

Or maybe we will meet and continue communication outside the Internet?

I'm sorry, but I don't go on dates with the first person I meet.

You can go to my page - there is quite a lot about me. You won't learn so much about a stranger from the street if someone comes to meet you :) By the way, I also have a Rottweiler. Maybe we will meet and take a walk with the dogs? How about tomorrow night?

Good. Here is my number + 79212345xxx

Example 2. A common passion - travel

Hello Sveta! I was looking in the news for entries on the hashtag Baikal, and accidentally got on your page. I saw that we are both from the same city, and that you went there this summer. It won't take long if I ask a couple of questions about the trip? By the way, I forgot to introduce myself - my name is Grisha)

Hey! Nice to meet you :) Few people get to Baikal from our city - it is closer and cheaper to fly abroad now than to such a distance. Ask what you want. I will try to answer)

Maybe we will meet somewhere for a cup of coffee? I think it will be more convenient this way. In general, I really love to travel around Russia. I can give you some more interesting routes)

And why not?)) Today I am busy, but it is possible tomorrow after work. I finish at 8 at Amethyst. Comfortable?

Yes, it's convenient. Leave your number, please. In case I lose you there)

79213345ххх see you)

What you can't start correspondence with: the most common mistakes

Most frequent mistakes the following:

Platitudes The first message must be original. You cannot start a conversation with clichés or hackneyed phrases, for example: “Hello! How are you?". If you write something like this - in 9 cases out of 10 she will simply ignore the message;
Sexual hints. And this includes not only messages of the type: "I would like to look at you up close!"
Use of slang expressions and obscene words. It seems that this is understandable, but many of the first messages from men are still replete with various "Che". And if the girl decided to ignore you or immediately dismissed you (albeit in a rude form), in no case should you call her names. Even if you never cross again, keep face and do not stoop to this;
The presence of grammatical errors. Check what you write. Pay special attention to the commas. No one will find fault if minor punctuation errors slip through the message, but complete absence understanding of the grammar of the Russian language a grown girl will definitely scare away;
Deception. Using a "fake" page or one where there are no personal photos. Put yourself in the girl's shoes: in her place would you meet a person who has no friends on the page, and has a Hollywood actor or the latest Lamborghini model as a profile photo?

The girl replied to the message: what's next?

So, you managed to interest the woman and she replied to your message. What to do next? The best solution is to go directly to your goal.

If you want a close relationship, immediately invite her on a date and take a phone number. You need to use the moment while her attention is fully focused on you. The longer you pull, the more likely that she would refuse to meet live.

Remember! Aimless messaging is a waste of precious time.

If the girl agreed to go on a date, you need to immediately appoint a place. Here's a selection of where to go on your first date.

A great way to produce good impression on a date - surprise the girl, surprise her. Here are some ways to do it.

If the girl did not agree to a date, this is not a reason to give up. There is no need to remove it from your contacts and send it to the black list. You can continue to communicate with her. Don't forget, the more you interact with girls, the better it will be. In addition, if you are interested in her correspondence, then she will definitely give a second chance. Several, which can be used for correspondence here.

In any case, if you want to be successful with women, then you need to develop.

Brief conclusions

In a word, for a successful first message, you need to briefly and succinctly describe the purpose of the address. Sometimes you can speak directly about the desire to get to know each other, but it is more effective to use any pretext. Don't forget to tidy up the page, double-check the grammar, and get ready to deal with objections.

Do not pressure the girl, keep a positive attitude and remember that the purpose of your first message is to meet. Communication just for the sake of communication in this case doesn't make sense. And if at first the young lady refused to meet with you, but continued the correspondence, then you just need to wait. Give the girl a couple of days to get to know you better.

I decided to give a few examples of profiles in English from foreign dating sites. Of course, the examples of questionnaires given here can and even need to be modified so that it fits better with your personality and lifestyle. My Russian translations here are somewhat clumsy, but in English, believe me, everything sounds very smooth and familiar to a foreign ear.

About me ( O myself )

1. I have been lucky in life and now I am looking to be lucky in love. I am confident, artistic and like being the center of attention. My friends say I "m the life of the party. I am always positive and only surround myself with the same kind of people. I love to laugh and smile as much as possible., I do know when and where to be serious and respect that trait in others as well.

Translation:I am a lucky person in life, and now I want to find luck in love. I am confident, artistic and love to be the center of attention. Friends say that I am the soul of the company. I always have a positive attitude and try to surround myself with the same people. I laugh and smile at every opportunity. However, I know when and where to be serious, and I respect that quality in others.

Note that the meaning of the expression "sole of company" in English is better conveyed by the expression "The life of the party".

2. I enjoy a broad range of activities and listing them all would require too much room, so I'll only mention some of them: photography and traveling (I would love to visit Paris and take some great pictures), outdoors activities (boating around a lake can be such a treat), working out (soccer makes me very, very happy) and shopping (I am a lady, first of all)

Translation:I have a lot of interests and it would take too much space to list them all. Therefore, I will mention only a few of them: photography and travel (I would really like to visit Paris and take some great photos), classes in fresh air(boating on the lake can be such a pleasure!), training (football makes me very, very happy) and shopping (I'm a woman, first of all).

3. I am loyal and caring person. I believe in giving to the community and helping others. That’s how I would describe myself. However, my family and friends would describe me as spunky, energetic, outgoing and very, very sweet. I am not too sure about the spunky part ... But they are family and friends, so they know better, right?

Translation:I am loyal and caring. I believe that we should contribute to society and help others. This is how I describe myself. At the same time, my family and friends would describe me as brave, energetic, outgoing and very, very sweet. Not really sure about courage, but they are friends and relatives, so they know better, right?

4. I can be shy at first but once you get to know me you "ll see I" m just a nice person with laid back attitude who enjoys the little things in life. I have a passion for books. I love movies - genres aren "t important. I am a bit of a couch potato, love to stay home and read, watch movies, or waste some time on the computer ... If it sounds to you like we have enough interests in common, drop me a line and perhaps we can get together one day.

Translation:I may be shy at first, but once you get to know me better, you will see that I am a good person with a calm character. I am a passionate book lover. I love cinema - no matter what genre. I am somewhat lazy, spending a lot of time on the couch in front of the TV, I like to stay at home, read books, watch movies or spend my time sitting at the computer ... If it sounds to you that we have enough in common, drop me a line and maybe we will meet one day.

5. I like to think I "m quick witted, articulate, and intelligent, but that" s mostly for you to decide. I can talk on a variety of different subjects, and enjoy smart conversations that are full of interesting topics. I am an optimistic, free spirited individual, and a little bit of a health nut. When I think of the right guy for me I think of someone who could carry on a conversation whether the topic is silly or serious, who knows who he is, what he wants, and what things in life matter.

Translation:I would like to think that I am a resourceful, clearly expressing my thoughts, intelligent person, but by and large it is up to you to decide. I can speak on a wide variety of topics and enjoy an intelligent and interesting conversation. Optimism and a free spirit are my inherent traits. I also a bit obsessed with a healthy lifestyle. When I think of my partner, I think of a man who can keep the conversation going, whether the conversation is silly or serious. A man who knows who he is, what he wants, and what things really matter in this life.

Sitting and waiting for someone to write to you is pretty boring. Usually, those who are not needed by anyone write to all the new girls - perhaps who will answer. Therefore, after registering on a dating site, you can receive a flurry of letters from guys, men and grandfathers that you are not interested in at all.

To increase your chances, you should write to the first men you like. In this case, you can choose yourself from the men that you are interested in.

Since on a dating site with foreigners you will not be able to meet any of them tomorrow or the day after tomorrow (they live abroad), there is no problem that you will be misunderstood - weeks or even months will pass before a personal meeting, you will have time to find out what kind of person they are and how seriously they take you.

When I met foreigners, I wrote myself to those guys who interested me - and as a result I married a man whom I chose myself. Although I received a lot of letters from potential suitors, it was one of those men to whom I wrote first, I liked the most.

To give you a rough idea of the scope of my search, I sent about 100 emails to which I received about 20 responses. About 250 men wrote to me themselves. I corresponded with 40 candidates (not simultaneously, within a year - at the same time I had 10-15 correspondents).

When you write first

The simplest thing on our dating site Elenasmodels.com is to send an Expression of Interest (EOI). In this case, you don't need to write anything at all. The recipient will answer whether he is interested or not.

The simplest thing is to send an Expression of Interest (EOI).

If he is interested, he can write you a letter himself or simply send a response to your EOI and wait for your message.

You can also send the email straight away without having to send the EOI first. But in this case, it may happen that you waste time, and he is not interested.

Start by sending an EOI. Write custom messages after receiving a positive response.
If you do not receive positive responses at all (on average, women receive 1-2 positive responses per 10 EOI on the site), then try writing individual letters right away.
The older you are, the fewer men interested in you. Women over 35 should definitely write to men themselves and treat it like a job. Gentlemen will run after young, but not for middle-aged women. You need to be able to interest the right man, because there is more competition here. It is not necessary to win the guys, but it is necessary to interest them. This is where the ability to write the first letter will help.

What to write in the first letter

In the first letter, the most important thing is emotions.

Your first message should interest the man and inspire him with an irresistible desire to respond. To do this, it must be sufficiently informative, but at the same time short and emotional.

First letter rules:

Brevity- your message should be maximum 500-1000 characters. In a long message, it is easier to make a mistake, to say something wrong, to lose the intensity of emotions. And more time is spent on writing long messages.
Emotionality- your message should make the man smile, cheer him up. Positive attitude and openness is the key to the success of the first letter. The same facts can be stated in different ways - the impression that your letter makes is more important than its content.
Individuality- it should be obvious to the recipient that this text written specifically for him and could not be sent to anyone else. Individual messages take time, but not individual messages just go to the trash can.
Here and today- attach the photo you took today and briefly explain where it was taken (at work, in the gym, in the park for a walk, at home on the balcony, on the embankment, etc.). Men’s biggest fear is that your profile pictures are old and you look worse in real life... Today's photo will help him believe that you are - real woman(they really doubt it). It will also let him know that you haven't sent the same picture to dozens of other Cavaliers. You should like your photo yourself, take it with a smile, in bright clothes or against a bright background - this will add positive!
Indicate what attracted you- we all want not only to please others, we also want to know why we are loved. Write what attracted you to his profile or photos, this will make your letter personal and sincere.
Copy his words- the meaning that we put into certain concepts is very individual. Use words from his profile so he can relate your ideas to his own.
Copy his style- If his profile is in a humorous style, write with humor. If he is very serious, be serious.
Ask 1 question- this will make it easier for your correspondent to answer. The easier it is for a man to communicate with you, the greater the chance that he will choose you from all hundreds pretty girls Online Dating.
Literacy- the more correct your texts are, the smarter you seem to a man. Illiterate texts make an unimportant impression. easy, follow these rules.
Give know, what you waiting for the answer- end your letter with “looking forward to hearing from you”, “talk to you soon“, “hoping to hear from you quickly”. It should be understandable that you are waiting for an answer to your letter, but for some unknown reason, these words add enthusiasm to the guys and give them the impetus to write faster.