Life without a man: how to learn to live alone? You'd rather eat a kilo of ice cream than waste your time with a guy. Is there life without a man
The absence of a permanent partner in a man is fraught with serious psychological and physical changes. First of all, the sexual sphere suffers. Alexander Poleev, famous Russian psychotherapist and sexologist, candidate medical sciences RF warns: prolonged abstinence threatens stronger sex impotence.
pure physiology
It is hard for a 25-year-old man to endure even a two-week abstinence. Self-satisfaction and casual sex helps to solve the problem. In guys of this age, forced abstinence has practically no effect on sexual function. Problems begin when a man gets older. After the age of 35, a long-term refusal to have sexual relations is fraught with problems with sexual arousal and premature ejaculation.
At an older age, the sexual function "as unnecessary" - if the representatives of the stronger sex do not use it in any way - begins to gradually die off. If a long break in sexual relations occurs after forty, treatment by a doctor may be necessary to restore the normal functioning of the genital organs. After a break of at least 3-4 months, a 50-year-old gentleman may never experience sexual arousal at all.
Men are not as selective in terms of choosing sexual partners as women. The problem of the absence of a girlfriend or wife is quickly solved with the help of self-satisfaction or casual acquaintances. However, guys who have wives and mistresses are also engaged in self-satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with that. Self-satisfaction is not only a way to remove the accumulated sexual tension, but also a kind of "training" of sexual function.
Most of all, it is casual relationships that cause problems without counting on the continuation of the relationship. Most often they are tied in a state alcohol intoxication. Sexual relations in such situations are not always safe. What this is fraught with, every adult man knows: in best case, you will have to be treated by a venereologist, at worst - get to know the rehabilitation program for HIV-infected people closely. So having a permanent partner, in whose health the guy is sure, is also important for preserving him. general health and life.
Psychological aspect
Worst of all, the brain reacts to the absence of regular sexual relations. A man has a lack of confidence in his abilities, a fear of a fiasco in the event of a rare opportunity for sexual relations with a new, practically unfamiliar partner. All this is not in the best way also affects psychological comfort, and on sexual solvency.
Another important factor is frustration. Not all gentlemen replace the absence of sexual relations with the realization of themselves in painting, writing novels or some kind of business endeavors, because they simply do not have the talent and certain abilities for this. Constant tension and dissatisfaction, coupled with self-doubt in men with a high temperament, can result in aggression, and here it’s not far from crime.
Life expectancy and social success
It is generally accepted that the alleged married men live longer than singles. Some citizens willingly believe this statement, others question it. In fact, it is fair, no matter how much the supporters would like to hear the opposite. free relationship and celibacy. This was proved by scientists at the American research University of Duke (North Carolina).
They conducted a large-scale study in which 4.8 thousand Americans took part. All the "test subjects" were united by only one thing - age (born in 1940). The rest of the conditions were very different. Scientists have studied the change marital status throughout the life of all these people, their state of health, the presence / absence of a sense of satisfaction with their lives, and many other factors.
The findings turned out to be quite expected: bachelors are more likely to die in middle age than people who have a permanent partner. Married people are also more satisfied with their lives and socially successful. They are more likely to be hired large companies. Such men are vitally interested in a high income, since they need to feed their families, and a priori they are better workers than bachelors.
Another risk factor is a somewhat “dormant” sense of self-preservation in single men. Married gentlemen consider that they are responsible for the well-being of their wives and children, so they do not risk their lives needlessly. Bachelors, on the other hand, are constantly “drawn to exploits”: they often get involved in fights, engage in dangerous species sports, are fond of extreme driving. All this also greatly undermines health and in most cases reduces life expectancy.
Hello dear readers of the Ezy-Life blog! Girls tend to rush time, but men are often in no hurry to switch to new level relations. If you have not come to an understanding of your lover in the next conversation with your girlfriend, today's article will help you with this.
If he has his own living space, this issue is resolved more easily. However, the young man is accustomed to his way of life, perhaps he has recently learned to manage his life on his own: to provide himself with food, necessary things in everyday life. He enjoys it and does not want to get used to something new again.
Renting an apartment is no less important step that requires additional investments. It is possible that on this stage a man with great pleasure will put free finances on a trip, buying something long desired or some other direction. Until he is ready to completely reconsider his life and change something in it.
Is it worth it to talk about this topic with a man
How to understand what exactly worries your man and why he does not want to live with you? Of course, the most obvious solution to the problem seems to be .
On the one hand, the girl does not want and, which, in theory, he himself should decide. It was not enough later for him to make a marriage proposal! On the other hand, continue to live for several years different angles just impossible.
To begin with, I should advise you to soberly assess the situation. How long have you been dating your loved one? If the period lasts no more than a year, then you can and should be patient until the young man himself matures to an important decision. Take a break from this problem and learn to enjoy each other. This will give more benefit than any worries and thoughts about housing.
If the process is too long, and, try starting from afar. Don't think that men are stupid. Many girls think that they do not understand the hints, although in fact they just pretend that they do not notice the obvious things. Try casually asking how he feels about life together before marriage. You can come up with some ridiculous story that happened to a girlfriend in which he could recognize himself.
He will definitely understand what you are getting at, but he can pretend that he does not understand. It even works for you. The conversation will pass, but thoughts on this topic will remain, your desires will become clear to your partner. Don't be afraid to be obvious, speak your mind about "some other girlfriend situation." Do not worry that you will be accused of too superficial allusions.
You convey the thought that excites you. Talking with your soulmate is necessary so that it does not turn into something global, leading to parting. It is sometimes difficult for both partners to do this. Excessive can lead to scandal, mutual recrimination or disagreement of another kind. Don't get personal.
If you observe all the signs that a man does not want to talk about this topic, she frankly annoys him - talk about something else, step back. No need to convince, talk about your own and say how others are doing the right thing. You have conceived the seed and that is quite enough for this moment. You will return to this conversation a little later, but you can already be more frank. Doesn't have to be hinted at.
Well, so that the agonizing wait does not go in vain, for now I advise you to read the book of a famous psychologist Natalia Tolstoy " Men's secrets, which you need to know before you live together happily ever after".
That's all for me. Before see you soon and good luck. Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter. All for now.
How do you want to be happy and not depend on anyone. I want to smile, to feel like a full-fledged woman, even during periods of loneliness. Are you really ready to shift the responsibility for your happiness to another person, even a partner?
Thinking: men vs women
Of course, we think, feel and perceive the world differently. Only, dear women, have you ever wondered why you never hear about “single men”? It's about how they perceive periods of non-relationship. For them, this is freedom! Why not start looking at the situation from this angle too?
We wonder how to learn to live alone. But it sounds somehow painful, with a slight note of sadness and suffering ... Why have we stopped perceiving loneliness as a chance?
Loneliness or opportunities?
Women, being alone, think that something is life goes not so ... It seems that in the absence of a partner, some kind of important detail… a jigsaw puzzle that can be placed on Right place and everything will become full and harmonious. But is it?
Is breaking up with a man really that bad? Why are we accustomed to consider ourselves useless during these periods? Why do we carry loneliness in our hearts like a heavy load on our shoulders? But there are a lot of advantages to being alone!
Pros of being alone
№1
Energy. Think about how much time, effort and patience a woman spends on maintaining relationships. Especially when cohabiting. Cleaning the house, reconciliation after conflicts, the ability to give in on time ... You have to adapt to the other person: what movie to watch, when to go to bed, with whom to spend the weekend, how to spend the family budget.
If you are alone, all this is left to you to decide. You can see a friend, go to the store or spend the whole day in bed. And still forces remain!
№2
A free woman gets more pleasure from life. You can say "no" if you don't like sex, for example. You may never see each other again if you have a fight. Without a husband, you are able to choose with whom you want to spend the evening ... And not be afraid of how he will react, whether he will call it “treason”, whether he decides to take revenge.
№3
Being alone for some time, alone with themselves, women without men begin to love and respect themselves more: space, time, resources. You can finally open inner world, better understand your character, realize what you like to do? What places to visit?
It may turn out that the list will be the exact opposite of the one you followed when you were with a man.
№4
You should not be afraid of loneliness, and for the reason that it is not forever, but will also end. Rather than mourn, it is better to enjoy. 😉
Mistakes that women make
Attempts to fill the space with anyone
Should not be doing that. As soon as you are alone, you do not need to immediately call your girlfriends or install a dating app. Superficial connections, space-filling dates, and strangers won't help you find happiness, they won't help you understand yourself.
If you don't learn the lesson, nothing will change. Instead of satiating yourself, you will only disperse and spend the last crumbs of energy.
Thoughts: “I don’t want relationships with men”
After a bad breakup, you can leave a scar on your heart. No one promises that he will heal quickly. Perhaps your former man was not the best representative human race. Perhaps he offended you or insulted you. Maybe even your mother inspired you: “All men are goats!”.
Just don't interpret the negative characters you've met as all men. What you think about is what you attract. If you are convinced that there are only ill-mannered boors-sexists around, you will meet such people on your way. Then don't be surprised.
Don't be afraid to open up to something new. Start thinking differently. Not the way you're used to. Turn on more positive, joy, openness. No one is going to hurt or offend you on purpose, believe me!
Unwillingness to analyze the past
If you simply endure a period of loneliness, live through suffering without drawing conclusions, then it is unlikely that you will be able to build happy life farther. Every situation (especially unpleasant) that happens to us is a lesson. If you don't get it the first time, it will hurt more.
That is why it is so important to force yourself and mentally re-live the situation. What caused the divorce? What emotions did you experience? What could be done to solve the problem not so categorically?
Source: iStock
Is there life without a man?
If you still have doubts, we will answer. Definitely yes! Many women in the world live without a permanent partner or even alone. And not all of them consider themselves unhappy, and their lives - meaningless.
If you come home and no one is waiting there, this does not mean that you should feel bad. Of course, the social stereotype makes itself felt. “Not married at 30?”, “You will remain an old maid”, “lives without a husband, so no one needs it”, or what else do they say?
But it's important to understand why people say that. They themselves are afraid of loneliness, they are afraid to come to an empty apartment, they are afraid that their husband will leave them. This could be for various reasons:
- diffidence;
- dependence on your partner (emotional or financial);
- the inability to live one's own life and not stick one's nose into someone else's;
- lack of bright events, which is why a critical discussion of other people.
Do not be strict, understand that offensive and bitter phrases are not spoken to strangers from a good life ...
How to live without a man?
The most important thing is to be happy. After all the awareness of events from the past and acceptance of yourself, it's time to make a choice in favor of happiness and success. Now you must accept yourself as strong and free woman. For the wounds to heal, and state of mind got better, not necessarily whole year walk around with a sour expression on your face, feel sorry for yourself and suffer! 😉
Take your time
Now you have more than enough! Finally, you can do things that you really like. Sign up for dances, start contributing to charity, go to romantic dates, a whole week to eat some salads.
Painting courses, city walks, hiking trips, cooking classes... Anything! You are now free!
Just in case, make a schedule so you don't get bored.
Tell sympathizers “enough”
To everyone who pitied and comforted you, tell them that everything is fine now. You no longer need plaintive glances, retorts, and wooing suitors. You can decide that the topic of your loneliness is now taboo. After all, what difference does it make to other people? Let everyone live their own lives.
Don't try to please men
Just be yourself. Sincere, real and honest. Why would you start Blank sheet life with hypocrisy in front of strange men?
If you implement all these rules into your life, accept and love yourself, then soon the word “loneliness” will stop scaring you. You will feel yourself, real, alive and living to the fullest!
A kind of epidemic in our time is the fact that modern girls alone at twenty ... and there are simply no justified reasons for this sudden outbreak of a trend. I'm like a part modern society, I realize the reasons why I personally am single and I'm not going to start a relationship yet. It all started with the fact that I accepted it and decided to live without a man for now.
People whine and constantly complain about not having a mate, emphasizing how much they hate this condition. As for me, it’s damn addictive to live day after day without a partner, to feel your freedom and independence. Do you understand what it's like to be drawn into something? I am also annoyed by constant reports about what you did today, you need to tell and report on all the little things of the day.
Where are we going? To the desire to be free! I'm only going to do what the hell I want to do. I want to live like this right now! In the end, I want to lie in bed for 10 hours, not think about anything and eat pizza in front of the telly. I will do it all. I feel comfortable in this state, I do it today, and I will do the same tomorrow. This is just my choice and my decision.
The only person whose questions I want to answer is the pizza delivery guy, and to be honest, it's the only man which I need at this moment in my life. Stop worrying about why you're single! Now I will voice several reasons that will open your eyes to why you are currently living without a man. Reasons you haven't fully understood yet.
Sit comfortably and smile as you read explanations of why I think you're lonely like me:
1. You are at home
When the weather is less than ideal the best place for your pastime on Friday evening is your favorite bed. Not a bar full of people, but a comfortable and soft bed. Unfortunately, the only people you'll meet here will be the characters from Grey's Anatomy, or what else are you watching there?
2. If you do go out, you will drink a lot
No one wants to date a girl who constantly abuses alcohol. Admit it, you would also be uncomfortable with this?! Although, for example, no one judges a man severely for such an end to the evening. Not fair!
3. You don't want to meet his family
Walk into a room full of strangers, and they all evaluate you completely and completely every minute throughout the evening. Let me guess your reaction! - Thank you very much, but I'd rather refuse. In this case without me.
4. You don't want to introduce him to your family.
The only thought that scares you more than getting to know his family is his knowing your family.
5. You can’t even figure out what you want to eat for lunch, what is there to talk about?
Usually, I do not even know what ingredients I will use for my meal, in the form of a regular salad. How can I find the man of my dreams? Man, life is so hard sometimes...
6. You love to lie all over the bed and don't understand why you should share it with someone else.
Why choose which side of the bed to sleep on when you can keep the entire bed? And besides, I have no problems with extra washing. bed linen and cleaning the room.
7. You can't imagine loving your potential partner more than your best friend.
You are madly in love with your best friend and trust her with all the most intimate. She's better than your potential boyfriend in almost every way. She listens, understands, it is fun and always with her, there is something to talk about. Well, of course, she is cooler in everything, the only negative is that sexual pleasures are beyond her capabilities.
8. You have absolutely no patience when it comes to all sorts of nonsense.
In a relationship, the main thing is mutual understanding, patience and the ability to seek compromises. All three things I have absolutely no interest in. They are not my forte.
9. You'd rather hang out with your male friends.
Friends of the opposite sex are a sip fresh air, after listening to life stories and real dramas that my girlfriends are in. And who ever said that girls are always aching creatures in a relationship? Men who allow girls to make a henpecked out of themselves, this is what really annoys.
10. You don't trust anyone in this life but yourself.
Silly of course, but if I know that my order should be delivered by a courier in half an hour, and in fact it is at my house only after 46 minutes ... what can I talk about? How can I trust myself to a person when there is nothing stable in life.
11. You have an unhealthy habit of watching TV shows.
I don’t need a relationship, because I’m too busy to follow the development of the storyline in the relationship between Gleb and Varya from the Interns, Maxim and Victoria from the Kitchen series, and it still remains a mystery whether Kuzya from the Univer series will find his love .
12. You have a very busy schedule after hours. You can't afford a relationship
Wake up, go to work, visit gym, have lunch, smoke, take a shower and finally go to bed. I'm not sure my boyfriend will be able to fit into this busy schedule.
13. You are sick of all kinds of romantic things.
I prefer a tall handsome man who will ignore me and treat me like a rag. Am I asking too much?
14. You'd rather eat a kilo of ice cream than waste time with a guy.
After all, this heavenly delight will not judge me for my habits. I am who I am. And I'm not going to change.
15. Do you still find it difficult to decide what you do worse: cook or clean?
Why should I make my bed in the morning if I return there in the evening? I wonder where those people live who clean up before going to work? I am an expert only in table reservations and in ordering food at home. All these household things are not for me.
16. The reasons why you would still want a relationship are radically different from the standard ones.
I'm looking for a profit and I want to be paid for in restaurants, in taxis, for my entertainment. Well, I also don't mind being given good gifts for birthdays and other holidays.
17. You are too picky
He's too short, too sentimental...why is he texting me all day? Or vice versa - it would be better if he wrote messages all day, there are too few of him in my life. Blah..blah...blah... We need such a device in the brain so that we know what qualities and habits our perfect guy. As long as we don't have that, I'll dedicate myself to watching Law & Order, or keep myself occupied with other nonsense.