The first wedding night what to do to a man. Tips on how not to make a mistake at a Muslim wedding. Wedding night in Russia: customs and traditions

Even if a young woman did not have proper sex education, which is observed quite often, by the time of marriage she is still to some extent prepared for sexual life, knowing something from conversations with her friends, from books, popular scientific medical journals . Counts normal that she, with excitement and fear, expects the first wedding night, which for the rest of her life, as she hopes, will connect her with her beloved man.

The first wedding night is extremely important for the emergence of female sensuality. It is enough for a man not to show tact, tenderness and understanding, as a young woman may have an aversion to sexual intercourse and sexual coldness for life. And whoever she later met on her life path This can be very difficult or impossible to fix.

The first wedding night should be full of romance and tenderness, because this happens to any person only once in a lifetime. If a man is affectionate with a young wife, helpful, then this to some extent relieves her constraint, arouses desire.

When young people go to bed, the man must caress the woman all erogenous zones(breast nipples, inner surface thighs, clitoris). It is even desirable that a man bring her to orgasm with these caresses. And after 2-3 hours, he must deflorate with all the tenderness and care he is capable of. In the future, such a woman will accept her husband's caresses with gratitude, wait for them and respond to him in the same way. But if, instead of the expected tenderness, on the wedding night, a woman is faced with rudeness, cynicism and unbridled desires of a man harassing her, then in the future her psyche will be wounded, and this is the first step of future sexual coldness. Even a very experienced man in sexual relations should not demonstrate all his abilities on their wedding night, as this can strike a young woman very unpleasantly. Men should remember that the main reasons for disrespect for the husband on the part of the wife can be weak will, low position in society, physical unattractiveness, rudeness. But my most important thing is rudeness in sexual relations, and especially during the first sexual intercourse.

intimacy between a man and a woman, especially on the wedding night, should take place in a state of absolute sobriety. This wise law has existed in Russia since very ancient times and determines the ritual of a wedding feast. It is forbidden for young people to drink intoxicating drinks and eat up during the wedding. This is done because any amount of alcohol has a negative effect on the offspring, and since the first wedding night in sexual terms can be very active, the possibility of conception increases dramatically. And when a child is conceived by parents in a state of intoxication, he is rarely full-fledged, which may not appear immediately, but several years after birth.

Sometimes you can make an exception and allow young people to drink a glass of champagne to remove nervous tension and shame. In addition, champagne to some extent improves sexual sensitivity. And countless toasts to the cries of "Bitter!" unacceptable for young people.

Most people have an erroneous opinion that the defloration of a woman must necessarily occur on her wedding night. This is not always the case. A lot here depends not only on the elasticity of the penis, but also on how the hymen is arranged. There are times when it is so dense that it breaks only after a number of attempts. Such phenomena can injure a man who is sexually illiterate. There are cases when a woman's hymen is absent from birth or has been damaged as a result of injury, inept washing, during sports. Both men and women should know all these factors in order to avoid misunderstandings and mutual distrust.

If a young man is illiterate in matters of sexual life and has never been with a woman before, then the wedding night can also cause him a feeling of anxiety and self-doubt. In this case, a great support for him will be the advice of his father or older brother, with whom he should talk before the wedding. These more experienced people in matters of sexual life should dispel anxieties young man, tell him how best to behave in certain situations, because if the first attempts are unsuccessful, then for a long time he may experience a kind of inhibition in the nerve centers, which is very difficult to treat.

The first wedding night is always a turning point in the life of a man and a woman, even if they have had sexual intercourse before. It should become unique and special, remembered for a lifetime.

It makes no sense to start an endless debate "Should I remain virgins before marriage or not?". This topic is chewed up and down on the pages of glossy magazines and in the comments of Internet sites. If you need the erotic intricacies of intercourse on your wedding night, then turn on the search engine and enter the keywords "young husband, sex, gentle penetration." Where and how the newlyweds are going to penetrate is their own business. We will talk about the technical side of the issue: all the details of the wedding, starting from the date of registration, wedding procession, banquet and ending with the venue where the wedding night should be thought out in advance. There are several rules, following which you, at least, will not spoil the first marital night.

Wedding night: basic rules

RULE No. 1. Intimacy of young people should occur in a state of complete sobriety. For all the peoples of the planet, the main taboo for newlyweds at a wedding feast is alcohol. People have long figured out that alcohol has a negative effect on offspring. Because first marriage night sexually very active, the possibility of conception increases dramatically. In some nationalities, the bride and groom are forbidden not only to drink, but also to eat. As an exception, you can afford to sip a glass of champagne.

RULE #2 no man's land. It is highly undesirable to organize this intimate action in the apartments of the parents. The best option- rent a hotel room for the night. The farther from other people's eyes and ears your sex life, all the better. It's no secret that the first wedding night causes a natural feeling of self-doubt in young people. It has long been noted that young people need to retire in silence and darkness, and then all anxieties will dissipate by themselves. This custom has ancient roots. Among the Slavs, young people for the first time got to know each other in a bathhouse or in a hayloft; the Eskimos and Indians set aside a separate tent or wigwam for the newlyweds; still in some African tribes for the bride and groom they build a temporary hut on ... the branches of a baobab.

RULE number 3. On the wedding night, do not rush. There is no need to rush anywhere in the "global sense" - you have a whole life ahead of you! Communicate, make plans! This is your holiday, your sacrament. Only animals perceive sex as a source of fertility, in humans, sex is a source of pleasure. Mutual understanding and sympathy will create a favorable background for later life.

RULE number 4. Make the bride and groom comfortable. After the tedious preparation for the wedding, painting in the registry office, dancing until you drop, toasts and shouts of “Bitter!” young people simply want to retire and relax. The only place for this is the family bed. Prepare the place where the wedding night will take place, should be in advance. To do this, you need to decorate a room (hotel room), create romantic atmosphere, buy erotic lingerie, aroma candles, funny toys, sweets, drinks and further on fantasy. Solitude and romance - that's the best motto for the wedding night. It's good if the room has a jacuzzi.

RULE #5 the wedding night planned at the hotel, be sure to make sure that linens was yours, personal. The sheets and pillowcases on which you performed the sacrament of the first marital gestures should be kept at home as a relic. You can wash them repeatedly, but I repeat: the newlyweds should keep linen. Linen sheets work well, which can be slightly scented with perfume. Don't forget about romantic music. Grab a couple of discs of early Julio Yglesais in your nuptial alcove - and the man has a pleasant voice and a funny name

An interesting poll was held on the Reddit website: how was the first wedding night, if it was also the first sexual experience in life?

Many people still prefer to wait official conclusion marriage, and after that already to part with virginity. That may be the most different reasons: tradition, religious considerations, or just personal preference. One of the users of the Reddit resource decided to ask such people what their first time was, and received very diverse answers.

Many admitted that the first sexual experience did not impress them. Others said it was worth the wait.

One of the girls said that she was still a virgin and that she was getting married the next day, and promised to tell how everything would go.

According to some of those interviewed, anticipation can take over, and then the reality will be a complete disappointment.

With discouraging honesty, people talked about how many problems they had because of their solution.

One woman said that she was quite scared on her wedding night, but thanks to the tenderness and patience of her husband, everything went well, and then they discovered the world of sex together.

One of the respondents admitted that the first sex after the wedding was too short, and now he is ashamed to remember it.

But in general, the range of opinions received was huge: from “ creepy nightmare to "delightful".

We were both virgins before we got married. I was only 19 years old, and my husband was 25, but before me he had no one. Our first wedding night was just fabulous. We spent her at the hotel. I put on silk underwear, and my husband turned on the radio. And as Olivia Newton John's Let's Get Physical came on, we finally got to know each other. We realized that this is a sign that symbolizes the beginning of a new life for us. We made love three times the first night, and this song played every time. Even after 35 years of marriage, this memory still touches my soul.

It was terrible. I could hardly wait, and on the day of the wedding, my wife began "these days." She was also nervous about the wedding turmoil. So imagine what kind of sex it was: nervous, both virgins, and it lasted about five seconds. The second time in the morning was better, at least a few seconds longer. But then things got better, and now we have been together for 11 years.

My wedding night earns a solid 10 out of 10. Not because of the sex. The sex was far from the best. But because I liked to discover this new and AMAZING side of life with my husband. It was great even without orgasms. We also ate a huge pizza in the jacuzzi after sex. Recomend for everybody!

Our wedding night was wonderful. We rented a honeymoon suite with breakfast. Helping me take off Wedding Dress, the husband said: "We had a very long day ... Do you want to take a bath?". I gladly agreed. He lit the candles in the bathroom, opened the champagne and ... left to relax alone. Less than 15 minutes later, I called him to join. No, we didn't have sex in the bathroom, we explored each other's bodies, relaxed, got used to seeing each other naked. And then we moved to the bed ... It was unforgettable!

I was a virgin before marriage because my wife insisted on it. But those were the best 30 seconds of my life. Too bad my wife didn't like it. Well, she still doesn't really like it, but I'm working on it.

Despite the fact that now the first wedding night has become almost a formal concept, every bride dreams of spending it in accordance with all the rules, so that later she will remember it with pleasure, and not with laughter or a mournful expression on her face.

And couples who get married hope that the first wedding night will become something sacred for them, different from the usual sex. And for this it is worth observing traditions and listening to signs that have been around for many centuries - our ancestors were wise people so why not take advantage of their experience.

Traditions of the first wedding night

Tradition one. Eat and drink in moderation

Traditionally, at a wedding for the newlyweds, they cook separate table with a minimum of alcoholic drinks and exclusively with light snacks. And this is not done in order to show that from now on the whole life of the spouses will be associated with hardships and abstinences. The newlyweds are not supposed to drink and eat hearty at the wedding precisely so that the first wedding night passes without a hitch, and even so that the baby conceived that night is not flawed in the head. Therefore, if you want your wedding night not to resemble a well-fed and drunken dream, limit yourself to a couple of glasses of champagne and do not abuse roast geese, piglets and sturgeons.

Although it is not good to go to the marriage bed on an empty stomach. There were cases when tired newlyweds were first cut off, remaining in silence and in the company of a soft bed, and then they met at the refrigerator, as the "caring" relatives and toastmaster did not allow them to renew their strength. To prevent this from happening, arrange for a special table to be prepared for you and your betrothed - light meat, preferably chicken (by the way, chicken is traditionally served to newlyweds so that they have a strong family, abundant and healthy offspring; eat it without the use of knives and forks), and also ask for snacks to include aphrodisiac foods - celery, seafood, avocados, caviar, pine nuts and bananas. It is by definition not heavy and delicious food well suited for a wedding feast. You and your husband will not remain hungry and will feel a surge of love energy.

Tradition two. Don't sleep!

No matter how tired you are, no matter how many nights you spend with your lover before the wedding, so that family life was happy, the act of entering a man into a woman, as a symbol of entering her life, should take place. By the way, in many countries it is still believed that only physical proximity makes a bond official marriage legal. Therefore, shift all the worries of organizing a wedding to relatives, friends and toastmasters. Your job is to smile, kiss while shouting "Bitter!" and try to save strength for the wedding night.

Do not drag out the holiday, you will have time to have fun from the heart on the second day of the wedding. And on your wedding day, give your guests the opportunity to have fun without you by sneaking out quietly to a secluded place by no more than nine in the evening so that you can take a shower or shared bath, drink a sip of champagne, resting from a noisy celebration, and dedicate the night only to each other.

Tradition three. Privacy of newlyweds and secrecy

In the old days, the newlyweds were escorted to the marriage bed by relatives and the most guests of honor who sang indecent intimate ditties, shouted, scaring away evil spirits and evil spirits, made greasy jokes and tried their best to set the newlyweds for the upcoming act. Nowadays, such an accompaniment looks at least ridiculous, therefore, the more imperceptibly you disappear from the holiday, the more chances you will have to spend the night according to a pre-planned scenario.

According to tradition, the bed for the newlyweds is laid by the mother of the groom or his godmother. Sometimes, if for some reason this is not feasible, the role of bedkeeper is played by another married relative. In principle, if you do not want someone to touch your bed of love, you can organize everything yourself the day before, now this is not forbidden. Most importantly, do not tell anyone where you will spend your wedding night, this will serve as a kind of amulet. Only the woman who will make your bed can know about this place, and you. Let the rest remain in the dark. So no one will have the opportunity to interfere with you at the most crucial moment.
By the way, that is why it is best to spend the first wedding night where no one else will spend the night except you and your husband. If you do not have your own apartment, then it is better to rent a hotel room. Against the background of general wedding expenses, this is not such a large amount (it is better to refuse a multi-meter wedding Hammer, and spend the night with dignity), but the attendants will do everything for you and at the highest level.

Just agree in advance that there will be candles and flowers, bring an aroma lamp with the oil, the aroma of which will unobtrusively excite you both, and do not forget the tray with champagne, fruit and chocolate. Although this is usually not necessary to remind the staff.

Tradition four. amulet

Also, bring a beautiful peignoir and underwear there in advance so that there is something to change into before the wedding night. In the old days, a special shirt was sewn and decorated for the newlywed, she, like bed linen for the first night, was part of the bride's dowry, and all sorts of protective signs were embroidered on it. It is necessary to change clothes before the night - on wedding dress, as on underwear, may stay negative energy all sorts of wedding "klikush" and just envious girlfriends who do not yet have a pair.
For the same reason, you should not bring flowers from the wedding presented by guests to the room where the wedding night will take place. The exception is the bouquet presented by the groom, but only if he chose (bought) it himself, and if you did not launch it (with a bouquet, not the groom) into the crowd of the afflicted. By the way, some newlyweds leave the bride's bouquet for themselves, and throw a similar one, bought specifically for this purpose, to the guests. It is believed that the longer the bride's bouquet stays in the bedroom of the newlyweds, the longer and happier family life will be. Therefore, many brides tend to order a bouquet in a special capsule with a solution so that the flowers do not wither during the wedding.

Tradition five. Holy water, chicken and egg

Also, observing wedding traditions, the marriage bed, and in general the whole room must be consecrated. To do this, go through the corners with holy water, sprinkle them and the bed and cross it all three times. Or entrust it to the mother-in-law. But only if you are sure that she is sincerely happy with the choice of her son. Otherwise, it is better not to take risks and consecrate everything yourself. You never know what she will think about, fulfilling the mission entrusted to her.

So that the first wedding night is successful, and the offspring pleases with health, drag a piece of chicken from the wedding feast and put it under the bed. By the way, some families still observe ancient custom put an egg in bed or under the bed. Only not fresh, but either boiled, or generally wooden or bone. It is believed that after this simple ceremony, family life will be smooth, and the children born in this marriage will be healthy and obedient. So, if such an egg is thrown to you, do not throw it away, let it lie down for three nights (if you spent the first night in a hotel, take it with you), and then the egg, if it was artificial, leave it as family heirloom, and if it was boiled, then feed it to the pigeons.

Tradition six. Demonstration of innocence

Another tradition that was sacredly observed by our ancestors is the demonstration of a sheet with blood stains as proof that the bride went to the groom untouched. Moreover, even if the blood after defloration did not go due to the characteristics of the body, the groom's relatives and the groom himself had every right to refuse the "dishonored" bride. In our time, such a tradition is an atavism. And it is mentioned in this article only by the way. However, if you are a fan of the “traditions of antiquity” and wrote the wedding script based on historical sources, you can demonstrate a sheet with impromptu signs of defloration on the second day of the wedding in order to observe the authenticity of the old Russian wedding ceremony.

You can talk endlessly about the traditions of the wedding night, but the most important thing is for you to determine for yourself what is important for you - to spend unforgettable night love, sleep after a wedding hassle or to the point of keeping all the traditions. And here, in accordance with own desire and plan your wedding night and the night after.

Signs of the first wedding night

And finally - a few signs that also came to us from our ancestors.

No one should enter the newlyweds' bedroom.
If earth, sand or, even worse, needles are found on the marriage bed, spend the night elsewhere. This sign is worth listening to especially. Firstly, such an "act of vandalism" may be the result of damage. And secondly, it is simply uncomfortable and unpleasant to sleep on the ground and needles. And, by the way, the first sign exists, among other things, so that no one will throw anything extra into your bed.
If you have prepared a marriage bed for yourself in an apartment where someone else will spend the night, in no case do not allow a drunken uncle who has come from another city to lie down on this bed, or a witness who is not able to reach home. It is believed that in this case, the spouses will cheat on each other.
Before the wedding night, a young wife takes off her husband's shoes, who has a coin hidden in one shoe. If the wife is the first to take off her shoe with a coin, then she will dominate the family. But along with the status of “head of the family”, the wife also receives the honorable duty to take off her husband’s shoes every day. Do you need it?
Pillows on the marriage bed should be laid "cut" on the pillowcases to each other. It is believed that this promises a long, friendly and happy family life.

Keeping the traditions and following the signs, do not forget to bring something of your own on the wedding night. After all, only you know how to please and please your beloved man so that this night becomes truly unforgettable and magical, and so that you can proudly say that your wedding was a 200% success.

The first wedding night in Russia was arranged in a special way and had a lot of differences from the similar tradition of other nations. Among the peoples of Africa, Europe and India, the right of the first night meant intimate contact bride with a stranger. Often it was the elder of the tribe, a noble gentleman, or even just the first person he met.

In Russia, the right to deprive a girl of her virginity traditionally belonged to her future husband. By church canons a married marriage is sacred and any attempt on someone else's marriage bed is a great sin. Later, the feudal lords often neglected this law and used the right of the wedding night, but the church did not welcome this.

Time spending

The wedding ceremony in Russia was a very complex sacrament that combined Christian and pagan traditions. The timing of the wedding has always been very carefully chosen. For many peoples of the world, the first intercourse of newlyweds could occur on the third or fourth day, or even later (some Muslim countries, India, etc.).

For Russians, the first wedding night took place during wedding celebration, so it was very important to schedule the wedding on a date allowed by the church. According to Orthodox laws, one cannot have sexual relations during fasting and during church holidays Therefore, weddings were not scheduled for this time. The date of the celebration was carefully chosen, in accordance with the church calendar.

wedding night ritual

The Russian people have a wedding night for a long time called the basement. This is due to the fact that the bed of the young was always arranged in a cool place: in the basement of the hut, closet, barn or bathhouse. This always happened on the territory of the groom, since the girl after the wedding went to live with him.

For the newlyweds, a high bed was prepared on a strong wooden base. He was covered bedding which were taken from the girl's dowry. The preparation of the bed for the bride and groom was done by female bed-makers from among the matchmakers. Also, the mother or sister of the groom could prepare the bed.

Many ritual objects were laid on the bed, which were supposed to protect the newlyweds from damage and provide them with a comfortable existence in the future. Such amulets included small rye sheaves, bags of flour, mattresses, and feather beds. From above the bed was covered with a snow-white embroidered bedspread.

Several logs, a frying pan, a poker, and a juniper branch were placed under the bed of the bed. These items were supposed to protect the couple from all evil spirits. Logs symbolized future offspring, so they had to be put more.

Seeing off the newlyweds

A whole crowd of guests escorted the newlyweds to the “bedchamber” prepared in this way: friends, matchmakers, relatives and, in general, anyone who wanted to take part in a noisy and cheerful action. The farewell was accompanied by songs, obscene jokes and advice. Druzhka beat with a whip on the box, driving out evil spirits. He then had to pay a ransom to the bed-maids.

Alone

After all these rituals, the newlyweds were finally left alone. The door was locked, and a cage guard was left near it. He also had to protect the newlyweds from evil spells and various evil spirits. But the guests often remained at the door and simply spying on the young.

Left alone, the bride and groom first treated themselves to bread and chicken. This food was supposed to give the couple fertility. After eating, the girl was obliged to remove the boots from the guy's feet. Thus, she demonstrated humility before her future husband and showed her readiness to obey him in everything. Also, the girl had to ask her husband for permission to lie with him.

Then there must be a sexual intercourse. A friend came to inquire about this several times. As soon as the girl lost her virginity, the marriage was considered physically confirmed, which was loudly announced to all guests. The young could again be taken to the feast and delighted with songs of the most obscene content, or the guests themselves came to the cellar to the newlyweds and remained there with them until dawn.

Innocence as the main attribute

The most important moment in this whole ritual was the demonstration of the bride's shirt with blood stains. If the bride kept her virginity before marriage, she was considered honest. Otherwise, she brought shame not only on herself, but also on her parents. A collar was hung around the neck of the matchmaker and the parents of the dishonest newlywed. Father was brought a glass of wine with a hole in the bottom. The girl could even be returned to her father's house.

The loss of virginity on the wedding night was symbolically celebrated by hanging towels embroidered with red thread and breaking pots. After that, the girl became "young", and the guy - "young". After the wedding night, the young were dressed in clothes married woman and put on the appropriate headdress. The whole ritual had to be strictly observed, otherwise new family threatened by infertility and poverty.