How to quickly get your ex wife back. Do I need to observe fasting or other church canons? Family relationships: how to return the love of his wife

13.05.2019

Matveeva: How to get your wife back?
Good day. I want my wife back. Tell me - should I try return spouse if we broke up a second time. If yes, then How to return your beloved wife to the family?

My wife and I are 35 years old and we have two children. My wife's eldest is from her first marriage, I raised her from the age of 2, and the youngest is mine. Before we parted for the first time, we lived for 13 years. There was everything: they quarreled, cursed, reconciled and my wife often kicked me out, but I apologized and we reconciled.

We lived with her and her mother was with us. For most of her life, the wife lived without a father, her parents divorced, and what is most interesting, in her family, along the female line, all her sisters and aunts live without men and her social circle is either divorced or single.

When we parted for the first time, the reason was: love left in the soul there is nothing, and the main fact: “it’s hard for me with you.” We parted, but did not get divorced, it was my request, it is necessary for work. Eldest daughter she didn’t take our break in any way, and the youngest cried.

At first, I, probably like many men, tried to get my wife back, which only led to the fact that our relationship became even worse. Then I backed off, but kept thinking about her. For 13 years he lived with his wife, he never cheated, although sometimes there was no sex for months, according to different reasons, but they are not associated with venous diseases.

After parting, and when I left after a couple of months, I began to get acquainted with girls, but everything would be fine, but in each I saw my wife, and at the moment when I had sex, I didn’t get the pleasure that I got with my wife, although, all those girls were prettier and better in sex, and in my head I have my wife.

I began to notice in them such shortcomings that I had not paid attention to before and constantly looked for these shortcomings in all the girls and constantly compared them with my wife. And so a year and a half passed, I invited her to dinner, she agreed, we had dinner, talked about it, to get together and after dinner there was great sex.

A couple of days later I partially moved things to her. We began to live together, informed the children and they were happy, and my wife and I were also happy. My wife had a vacation in July and I and her children went to Greece, they came to rest in seventh heaven with happiness.

And this happiness continued until about October, and then everything began the same way that it was for the first time. Nagging, lack of sex and so on. But somehow he reconciled and tried to do everything in order to save his family and turned a blind eye to many things. We talked with my wife about things that we don’t like, it was during the period when we broke up, but after such conversations, I got everything boomerang and doubled, and after that I stopped talking to my wife about it.

And even if she was wrong, I myself most often took the first step towards reconciliation, I thought that it was easier. And knowing this, I did not utter anything and always kept everything to myself. Well, no matter how it was, we lived for half a year and broke up a month ago, but the reason is still the same: “it’s hard for me,” and I still couldn’t put up with your cockroaches.

In a word, the reason is the same. The reaction of children is the same. And the funny thing is, I had to talk about the fact that we are breaking up again, like the first time.

And again I had to calm the younger one. I love my daughter madly and she loves me very much too, and constantly says that she will leave to live with me. Although I am not well-mannered and arrogant, my wife thinks so, I cannot afford this - to take the child.

A month passed, I managed to get acquainted with several girls, we had sex with them, and apart from physiology I had no more sensations, I, like last time, drew parallels with my wife.

And my question is as follows, I still love my wife and really want to get my wife back again, but I don’t know if it’s worth it, and if so, how to do it and when, and is it worth taking a step towards rapprochement first?

Your family problems in relationships are built on a psychological, unconscious game, and not on real intimacy, which is why disagreements, quarrels and misunderstandings arise.

You correctly noticed that your wife may have a life scenario of loneliness, the so-called family scenario. But many people find each other on the basis of similarities or complementary life scripts laid down in childhood.

Many also confuse true love with anxious attachment...

It follows from this that if you leave everything as it is in yourself, then even if you get together and return your wife - after some time - the outcome is the same. And if you don’t return your beloved wife and save your family, you will suffer emotionally.

There is only one way out: to understand yourself and change your life scenario, then you will be able to decide on your own: get your wife back or line up new life, while not leaving children and not suffering from memories of her.

I was asked to write a similar article about the return of my wife. Despite the fact that our site is positioned as a women's almanac, I consider this request fair and fulfill it with pleasure. So, how do you get your wife back?

I will immediately make a reservation that this article is not an instruction (there can be no instruction in principle) or a recommendation on how exactly you, who read these lines, return your wife. This article is conceptual and is meant to point you in the right direction to follow if you want to get your wife back.

I have changed, then why is my wife not coming back to me?

Most men, in their irrepressible desire to return their wives who left them, make the same mistakes - they apply unprecedented pressure, proving that they have changed or are working to change, that they have solved or are ready to solve all the problems that have accumulated over the years of marriage. They try to convince their wives that the changes they made just a week ago are permanent.

Dear men, in fact, your wives are not interested in all of the above. Moreover, such behavior further widens the gap formed between you and further reduces the chances.

If you want your wife to return, you must understand the real reason she left you.

As a rule, men believe that their wife left them because they did something “wrong” or because they didn’t do something right. In principle, there are reasons to think so, because this is what wives talk about when they leave, this is what they most often voice as the reason for their departure.

Yes, indeed, some unseemly act or some flagrant inaction of the husband can provoke the wife to leave, but, nevertheless, in the vast majority of cases this is not the real reason care.

No matter what wives say about the reasons for their departure, they very rarely leave because the husband did or did not do something. A woman is unlikely to leave her husband for this very reason. The wife leaves only when she has hope for better life for the opportunity to be happy. As long as there is no hope, a woman is likely to remain in even the most unsuccessful marriage for herself, and this can drag on for days, months and years. Without hope, a woman does not have the strength, energy, determination and incentive to leave. But when hope appears ... a woman believes that the only way try to improve your life - do it without you!

Why is there hope? – Unknown. This is a spontaneous process, which can be catalyzed by anything.

Why Your Efforts Are Failing

When a man thinks that his wife left because he did something or didn’t do something, he comes to a simple logical conclusion - it is necessary to change this and then the wife immediately or not quite immediately, but still wants to return.

For example, a man was drinking. He stops drinking and solemnly informs his wife that he has not touched alcohol for a week (month, six months). Or the man did not comply men's work in the house. He happily informs his wife that he has already fixed all the leaking water faucets, screwed down all the electrical outlets and switches, glued the wobbly chairs, and also washed and folded his own socks in the closet and underwear. Or maybe the man did not pay attention to his wife. He immediately surrounds her with care and tries to care, as in the first month of dating.

In fact, all this has Negative influence to return for several reasons:

Firstly, if you have now stopped drinking, started fixing everything in the house, giving flowers and sweets, then why didn’t you do this a year, two, five, ten years ago, when you knew that this really worries your wife? After all, you knew about it all this time and did nothing. Come up with a thousand "good" reasons to keep doing what you were doing or keep not doing what you weren't doing. Why suddenly only now you have found the time and opportunity? And where, as a wave magic wand, gone "good" reasons?
Secondly, it is obvious that you have given up alcohol, become a jack of all trades and gallant cavalier just to get your wife back. This means that you made all these changes not for her, but for yourself!
Thirdly, the wife knows you quite well, for a long time she has seen how you behave in different situations, so she must be a complete, sorry, fool, to think that if she returns, then you will soon start drinking again, do not fall back on the sofa, doing nothing and not paying any attention to her.
Fourthly, the wife simply does not love you anymore, which means that from her “list of essentials” for a better life and future happiness, your name is simply crossed out.

Naturally I used my alcohol addiction homework and attention as an example. You can substitute any other values instead.

Try to put yourself in the place of your wife

If you endured for a long time some shortcomings of your wife that poisoned your life, believed every time for many years that she could change, cursed, resented, worried, tried to help her and finally ... burned out. That's it, you've run out of "fuel"! You don't love her anymore. Emptiness in the soul and in the heart. In this case, how quickly would you be ready to return to her based on her promises and changes in her behavior over the past two, three, five months?

Would you consider her promises to be true and her changes to be permanent? Would that be enough for you to love her again as if nothing had happened? – No, your memory is filled with images of conflicts and grievances of the last few years and the last thing you want to do is go through all this again, especially now that you are free and you have hope for a brighter future, for a better life, that you can still have time to achieve all this and enjoy it before old age.

Attempts to prove will give a negative result

Now that she's gone, you're thinking a lot about what she's told you and complained about over the years, and now you can figure out how to solve all these problems. Moreover, many of your proposals are pretty good, and some are so simply ingenious and creative.

Nevertheless, when you come to your wife who left you with these proposals, it turns out that all this does not impress her at all. Even if you convincingly prove that all your suggestions will work, she is no longer interested. Why? - To understand, you need to go back to the reasons for her departure.

First, she doesn't love you.
Secondly, she wants to be happy, wants a better life.

Your most ingenious proposals do not solve any of these questions. They all look like means that you use solely to satisfy your desire to return it. But your wishes mean nothing to her. She no longer cares what you want or need because she doesn't see or understand how it relates to her own happiness. In addition, she does not believe that she can love you again.

Can this be fixed? “At least you can try. The situation is not entirely hopeless.

The only way to get your wife back

There is only one way that works when you have been abandoned by a wife who no longer loves you. That is, it is a way of reviving in her love for you and your attractiveness in her eyes. Before your wife agrees to build her future with you, she must want to have a common future with you and see this future, and now she does not want and does not see it.

Your suggestions for solving problems and changes in yourself will not return her feelings for you. However, suggestions and changes are needed because without it, she wouldn't even hypothetically consider returning. It is especially important that your proposals are realistic and achievable, and that the changes are sustainable. If it is empty projecting and unsupported promises (even just a little bit), you will lose her respect and then nothing will help.

And now about the most important thing. You have to stop focusing on what you want and instead focus on what she wants. I draw your attention - not to what she wants from you (because she wants nothing more from you), but to what she wants for herself. Your task is to make your wife believe that you are the person who can give her what she wants - a better life and happiness. Again I pay attention - not to prove it to her, but to make her believe in it. If your wife does not trust you, you will have to sweat and spend more time, maybe even a lot of time. Soberly assess your capabilities and decide for yourself whether you can really justify her hopes and trust.

That's all that could be written in one article. It seems that little is written and looks simple, but in fact, even if little is written, but much is said. And all this is far from easy to implement. Compared to returned husbands, the percentage of returned wives is very small.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of a private individual, and not the recommendation of a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires great amount Free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask concrete questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use the comments for correspondence or chat and do not expect me to advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for the fact that I will ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical abilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact me for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica

Welcome to the pages of our site!

When a family collapses, most often women make some attempts in order to save it, return or keep their husband. And most of the available information with tips and tricks is aimed at a female audience. However, many men are in search of an answer on how to return a wife to the family and what can be done for this.

The most common reasons why more marriages are destroyed, psychologists include:

birth of a child;
financial difficulties, unemployment;
inconsistency with premarital expectations and hopes;
housing problems, living together with parents or relatives;
interference and pressure from close relatives;
infidelity, lies;
alcoholism or drug addiction of one of the spouses;
boredom in a relationship common interests and interest in each other, interest in family affairs;

Rarely enough when alone the only reason is a catalyst for divorce. Most often, problems pile up one on top of the other, forming a whole heap of intractable tasks, which, unfortunately, too often become impossible to resolve, or the spouses simply do not see a way out of the current situation. In this case, marriages break up.

Is it possible to restore relations with a spouse: advice from a psychologist

Before taking action and fighting for the return of the wife to the family, psychologists recommend, first of all, to think, as they say, about “your behavior”, to comprehend and admit that they made some mistakes in relation to the spouse.

To do this, you will need to strain your memory and remember what was “wrong” in your relationship in Lately when the difficulties began, what events preceded this, etc. Unlike men, most women are able to accumulate and store the grievances caused by their spouse for a long time.

And if a woman left the family, then, most likely, the cup of her patience was completely exhausted and you will have to try very hard so that she believes you again and agrees to return.

To restore relationships, or change them, you must first understand yourself. To do this, you need to sit down and think, and find in yourself what you definitely need to change. And if you change, your life will change. And it can help you

1. Reason

The first thing to do is to find out the reason for her departure by any available and in a legal way. The delicacy and complexity of this task lies in the fact that it is very easy to cross the line that separates sincere desire reconcile and save the family and shifting responsibility to the spouse for a broken marriage.

And the transition of this line is likely to end, total absence understanding, accusations of his wife and her new grievances. But if you still managed to find out the reason for the breakup, you must immediately take up the solution to this problem.

2. Act decisively

The second step is to get your wife surprised by you, by your actions. Show her what sacrifices or deeds you are willing to make for her in order to return.

So, if your trouble is alcohol, code, if you are jealous - sign up for specialized psychological courses, if you are unemployed - get a job, etc. To achieve the lost favor of your spouse, you will most likely have to work on yourself thoroughly.

3. Make plans for the future

Discuss your future with your wife. Availability of joint plans - good way get your wife back. So, for example, the presence of common children, the construction or purchase of their own house, the upcoming vacation trip, etc. unites the spouses.

However, this method will only be effective if your wife believes in you and in you. But by proving to her that you can change, or have already done so, you greatly increase the chances of a reunion.

4. Regain trust

If there are common children in your marriage, and, when parting, the woman took them with her, then, probably, they were really good reasons- most often a woman is ready to deprive her children of their father at the moment of the strongest despair and hopelessness from the current situation.

To return your wife and children, you will have to make tremendous efforts, will, patience, wisdom and tact. In the event that a woman has already left home, taking her children, most likely, all pressure, threats, violence, blackmail and other manipulations, in most cases, will turn out to be pointless (and illegal), so it will take twice as much effort to restore lost trust.

If in such a situation a woman at least makes contact and agrees to negotiate, then perhaps a joint visit family psychologist will help to clarify the situation, find a way out and save the family.

How to get your wife back with prayers

In matters of permission family conflicts a believer should be helped by religion.

Firstly, most religions promote the institution of family and marriage and have a rather negative attitude towards conflicts within the family and divorce.

Therefore, a religious person will make every effort to, in principle, prevent a situation in which he would have to return his wife to the family.

And secondly, faith in God and hope for his help in family reunification will give a man self-confidence. And the believer can receive strength for the struggle, inspiration and energy in prayers.

With the help of prayer and repentance, a spouse who has lost his wife will be able to calm down, achieve harmony with the outside world and accept the right decision about how best to do so that the spouse returned to the family.

It is possible that prayers for her happiness and well-being will convey a sound idea to her and she herself will wish to be reunited in marriage with her husband.

How to get your wife back with the help of conspiracies

Extrasensory perception and magic can also be effective tools in matters of family restoration. We won't talk about now ethical side question.

We will talk about the fact that occult techniques are used quite often in love magic and often end in success.

If a man allows the use of such techniques, then before resorting to the help of magicians, sorcerers and other specialists from this field, it is necessary to establish the exact reason for her departure, since the applied conspiracies and their effectiveness will depend on this.

So, for example, in case of resentment, magicians and warlocks will use a conspiracy for forgiveness, and if the wife has gone to another man, a lapel plot. For each specific case and magical specialists there is a certain conspiracy, universal methods unfortunately does not exist.

No matter how life and circumstances develop, it is very important to maintain respect for each other.

Only in this case will the thread be preserved, giving hope for the restoration of the family, even if the wife was the initiator of the separation.

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Often the reason for parting is the mistakes made by a man. If he wants to return his beloved, he needs to start to win her trust and favor again. 3 main "whales" of reconciliation: facts indicating that the husband is worth returning, patience and attention.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortuneteller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow..." Read more >>

A man must be prepared that the reconquest of his wife will take not only effort, but also time. But he has many trump cards in the form of information about a woman or common children, the competent use of which contributes to reconciliation.

Reason for leaving

The way to restore the relationship and the likelihood of success in this case largely depends on the reason why the spouse left. In each family they are individual, but there are typical for representatives of all age groups and social strata:

1. Family violence. This is not necessarily a handshake. May be psychological, economic or sexual abuse. Women can endure this for a long time before leaving, hoping for a change for the better.
2. Addictions - alcohol, drugs, gaming. There are two options for the development of relations in such a family: the departure of the wife, if she is lucky, and a joint road to nowhere, if not very.
3. Treason.
4. Life and lack of money - a woman does not feel loved, desired and needed, she is tired of making ends meet.
5. Her feelings cooled down and she went to another. Most of the fairer sex continues to live, not loving, with a partner until one appears to whom you can go.
6. A stormy scandal, during which a man offended a woman without controlling his emotions.
7. Mutual decision of the spouses to separate or divorce.

How to get your wife's love back

Before returning

Psychologists' advice to men who want to return ex-wife to the family:

1. Take a piece of paper and paper and answer, slowly, the following questions:

Why do I need it? (there is not enough mistress in the house / I miss madly / ashamed in front of people / it's a shame that she left, and not me).
What do I understand from this situation? (that she is much more important than she used to be / that she is much better lovers / how much she did for the family / that she really was wrong).
What will I change? (a list of real things, actions that a man is ready for so that his wife not only returns home, but also stays there for a long time).
Do relationships have a future? To answer this question, it is necessary to draw a paper into 2 columns, in the first one enter the pluses of the former life together, in the second - minuses. Based on this experience and the man’s readiness for change, one can roughly imagine further development joint relationship.

2. Consider a plan of action. No friend, sister, godfather or mother-in-law knows a woman like her husband does. Therefore, it is unreasonable to throw off the responsibility for your behavior on other people. Instead, it's better to delve into memory, remember what connected the couple, what she loves the most, and plan for her return.

3. When decisions are made, you can connect people who are worried about this family. But not as initiators and generators of ideas, but only as assistants fulfilling the requests of her husband.

4. If the spouse already loves another and firmly decided to leave, all attempts will be futile, and failures will only provoke mental disorders. But this is already a question of how to survive a breakup.

How to return a husband to the family from his mistress

Effective ways to get your wife back

If the reason for the woman’s departure is determined, the man has thought everything over and is ready for action, he needs to remember important thing: the success of his plan depends on another very important person for him. Which has the right to be not ready now for reconciliation, very angry and offended. Which cannot be carried from place to place as a thing. Who makes important decisions on her own.

All psychologists agree that The best way to force a person to do something - to arouse a desire in him. Therefore, the goal of all events that will be held for family reunification is for the woman herself to want to return, and not to show her super-merits and prove her innocence.

The husband craves reunion, but this should not be the main voiced reason for reconciliation. It is necessary to create conditions under which a woman will understand that a man deserves another chance.

1. Fall in love with yourself. Girls fall in love with the attitude towards them. Therefore, if you envelop them with care, attention, welcome gifts And romantic surprises, then the chances of reconciliation increase. If the wife went to her mother, then you need to fall in love with yourself as a son-in-law. T still - very important person in the life of spouses, if she is loyal to a man, then it will be much easier to make peace with her daughter. The method of courtship is especially effective if the reason for the separation was life and lack of money.
2. Talk heart to heart, sincerely repenting and admitting that you love a lot and do not want to let go. Forms of communication:

Tete-a-tete - it is important to look into the eyes and talk about its importance and positive qualities, in any case, do not sort things out and do not prove that she is also wrong in many ways, if possible - use tactile contact- take by the hand, hug, stroke.
By phone or video link - no attack in tone, even if the spouse provokes, only repentance and a strong desire to return everything.
If he does not get in touch or the man himself does not dare to live communication, write a letter, where there will be explanations, confessions, and an offer to reconcile. Women love this very much.

It is very important not only to talk about yourself, your experiences and sufferings, but also to be interested in her emotional state and thoughts on various occasions.

3. Small but eloquent deeds. A man knows better than anyone the features and secrets of his woman. If she categorically does not want relationships and communication, nothing prevents her from acting beautifully, using the information that her husband owns:

Order her lunch delivery to work.
Top up your mobile phone account.
If she left with a child, be sure to take care of him. wealth. Even if the wife did not say a word after leaving, her bank card number probably remained or you can find it out. It is very important not to leave a woman without a livelihood, even if this does not bring the expected effect. Forced, in addition to raising a child and domestic issues, to also earn money, a woman is guaranteed to be very tired and against this background she will become angry with her ex.
Help with the child as before, and if the reason for the separation was everyday life, then even more.
If the couple still communicates and the woman says that something is broken in the house, the man is obliged to take care of fixing it. With your own hands or with the help of a competent person - the question is unprincipled.

4. Fulfill her dream. To do this, you need to try to remember what she really wanted - to master some profession, visit a foreign country, spend a day in a spa, become the owner of an expensive thing. Next, you need to do everything to give it to a woman.

5. Work to fix the cause of the breakup, not just promise to get better. Because if she believes the words and returns home, but no real changes have taken place, then the next departure will soon be.

6. It happens that the desire to return the wife arises after a divorce, the decision on which was taken mutually. Often the spouse fails to build a new relationship, and he:

realizes that he still loves the former;
compares everyone he meets with her, and she wins in all respects;
realizes that he made a mistake by breaking up.

If everything happens like this after a divorce or talaq, then you need to check how things are going on the personal front with your wife. It is likely that she has already met worthy man and build new relationships. In this case, you need to know necessary information from the woman herself and reliable people close to her, only then act. If another person has appeared in the life of the wife and she is happy with him, the idea of returning her should be abandoned.

It is important that in trying to get his woman back, a man does not look pathetic. When a man causes pity, it is difficult to respect him. And without this relationship cannot be happy.

Do Husbands Come Back After Divorce?

When is a specialist needed?

Not always married couple able to deal with problems on her own. Cases when you need to attract competent people:

1. With all types of addictions for the treatment of her husband. If the wife decided to return to her husband, who agreed to therapy, she should support him. This important step and the stresses of new quarrels, reproaches and insults can lead to its breakdowns. Therefore, they must be left in the past and concentrated on getting rid of a more serious problem. If this succeeds, then the couple will rally and go to new level relations.
2. If the family practiced family violence. A man needs a psychologist or a psychotherapist to help cope with complexes and aggression, and a woman needs to overcome fear.
3. Sometimes after betrayal it is very difficult to go through and forget it due to the subjective perception of the situation. The psychologist will help you look at the problem under different angles, and the event will not seem so scary.
4. When there is a mutual desire to be together, but quarrels, complexes, people from the environment prevent you from living happily.

And some secrets...

The story of one of our readers Irina Volodina:

I was especially depressed by the eyes, surrounded by large wrinkles plus dark circles and swelling. How to remove wrinkles and bags under the eyes completely? How to deal with swelling and redness?But nothing ages or rejuvenates a person like his eyes.

But how do you rejuvenate them? Plastic surgery? Learned - not less than 5 thousand dollars. Hardware procedures - photorejuvenation, gas-liquid peeling, radiolifting, laser facelift? A little more affordable - the course costs 1.5-2 thousand dollars. And when to find the time for all this? Yes, it's still expensive. Especially now. So for myself I chose a different way ...

Sometimes people leave each other. It's okay, but sad. Most people do not want to accept this - they decide to fight for their happiness with this person. A breakup can occur with the initiative of both sexes, as well as attempts to recreate relationships. Now we will focus on how to get your wife back.

In contact with

Breathe in and out. Calm down. Stop panicking into the search engine “wife left what to do how to return” and get ready for the thought process.

For at least a little effective attempt to return your wife, you need to analyze the reasons for your separation. For this you need to be:

honest;
responsible;
logical.

First of all, you should be honest with yourself. The deeper you hide unresolved complexes and mistakes, the more explosive the mechanism of their next breakthrough will be - they accumulate.

Have the courage to admit what really happened. This will partly open the curtain on the secret of how to return the relationship with his wife.

Responsibility is the thing that people love to sin even in adulthood. They stubbornly refuse to take it upon themselves, transferring all possible nasty things to another person. For what? To do nothing. To make life easier. Not to grow and develop. That is why it should be understood that it is not the one who initiated the separation that is to blame for the breakup of relations. Who? Nobody. Nobody bears any blame. But both are responsible for what happened. Since you coexisted together, both partners are responsible for all the nuances of your relationship.

Logic will help in establishing cause-and-effect relationships and in formulating conclusions. In this matter, we must remember the basic logical fallacies to which we are so prone. There are a lot of such errors, for example:

transition to personalities (“wife cooks terribly, therefore she is not competent in the matter of relationships”);
orientation towards the majority (“for all couples, wives cheat on their husbands, therefore, mine also does this”);
orientation towards an authoritative person (“Leo Tolstoy harassed his wife, and he is an amazing person, therefore, I also need to do this”);
a reference to traditions (“It has been customary since ancient times that a wife should be submissive and patient”);
wishful thinking (“She left, but in her heart she perfectly understands what a wonderful man she refused, therefore she will certainly return herself”).

So, you don't have to do this. Common sense will help you.

Also, let it help you 9 main reasons for divorce, according to the British magazine "Independent":

Money problems.
Intrigue on the side.
Interaction with a former partner.
Various sexual tempos.
Children from a previous marriage.
Obsessive parents.
The difference is in the approach to conflict resolution.
Different attitude to communication.
Different attitude to personal space.

But do not think that the reasons are limited to this list! You can get a divorce because of anything, even from seemingly strange things: out of boredom, for the sake of a career, for a bet, etc. Think and draw your own conclusions.

How to restore relationships?

After analyzing the reason for the divorce, you should think about the advisability of resuming your union with her. Should you try to get your wife back if you're just bored alone? Or if you fundamentally do not want to be the person who was abandoned? Or if it's just the status quo?

The choice is yours, but first ask yourself:

Are old relationships worth all the effort you put into rebuilding them?
Are you sure that the old relationship is on new way will bring you more benefit than their absence?
Are you ready to really get off the ground and take action?

If there is a “no” somewhere, you can relax, go see an interesting movie, drink half a liter of stout and live your life in peace. If everywhere "yes", then let's go further!

In order to return the wife to the family, to restore relations is the first thing to do. Remember under what circumstances you fled: after all, as they say, the first and last performance remembered best.

If it was a total brainwash on your part, you will have to try hard to convince her of your adequacy. You can try to start with an apology and atonement for some nonsense, for example, a fur coat and Egypt (in fact, often an apology is enough). explain ex-wife reason for your behavior, and under no circumstances do so again, otherwise the larvae of the new trust on the part of the wife will never turn into an adult useful fly.

If she herself loved to throw tantrums at you, then clinical psychologists have a few questions for you, since you really decided to return such a wife. In this case, try to calmly relate to her emotional outbursts and put them in a pacifying way. The methods are known to you yourself, because the wife, even if the former, is yours. When you realize that it mental condition really corresponds to the situation, you can smoothly develop communication on abstract topics.

No need to get straight to the point! It is pleasant for a woman to feel like a person with whom it is interesting, and not a target of a hunter. Try to see the person in it yourself.

It is much easier if you parted calmly and peacefully, like adequate adults. Then you can consider that on this point you are automatically given a “credit”, because the relationship as such is preserved, it’s just that their format has changed somewhat. Well done. It's wonderful if that's how it turned out. Then, in planning how to return your beloved wife, it will be much easier for you - you do not need to deeply adjust your attitude towards yourself.

Contraindicated:

build an alpha male out of yourself, arguing your actions with something like “I decided so”;
get it with messages, calls, your presence;
blackmail;
manipulate children.

Bribery is a contentious issue. It often works, but think for yourself: will you respect yourself, knowing that you returned your wife by bribing her with some nonsense?

How to return the wife to the family?

Sometimes you should not only think about how to return the feelings of your wife, but also about her actual return home. After all, she can quietly yearn for marriage with you in another city with another man, but this is not enough for you. Why and how to return your wife if she left, an analysis of the situation that was background when parting will help you. Consider the most popular.

The question of how to return a wife's love to her husband usually sounds sad and desperate. And this is not surprising.

Sometimes the understanding that the person next to you is no longer someone close comes quite abruptly. You really cannot be fully prepared for the fact that she will stop loving you.

If you are thinking about how to return the love of your wife, if she has fallen out of love, then you will have to upset you: it hardly depends on you. You can’t do something like that to be taken and suddenly loved again.

Therefore, the answer to the question - how to return the love of a wife - can only be silence, which contains understanding, respect and acceptance of the choice and feelings of another person.

If she loved another

Analyze first what is in another man, what is not in you. Analyze, remember and calm down. Better think not about how to return a wife who left for another, but about the expediency of this undertaking.

Ask yourself questions:

Are you sure that you want to see a wife next to you who has already preferred another man?
Are you sure that you can give your wife more than a new passion?
Are you sure that you can continue to live and develop, accompanied by a wife whom you can hardly fully trust?

If at least somewhere there is a “no”, learn to let go. Although even if there are no negative results still study. Again, it's normal for people to leave.

Especially if there is a big word "love" here. This metaphysical concept should definitely not be attacked by you. That is why it is unlikely that someone will clearly answer the question of how to return your wife if she fell in love with another - these are too complicated matters.

Of course, you still have the opportunity to force her to return, confusing her socially, financially, putting pressure on children or other close people. And you can get your wife back, but purely formally. Think about how pleased you would be if they treated you in this way. And do you want to live with the knowledge that your wife lives with you purely out of necessity, and not of her own free will.

How to get a wife back from another man?

After analyzing her departure for a new passion and her own mistakes, one can already think about how to return her wife. She can be taken away from another man:

old feelings;
benefit;
boredom;
intelligence.

Therefore, you will have to remember what experiences you had together that definitely hurt her - in good sense this word. Then, in an unobtrusive way, try to remind her of this. Not by hanging photos from a common holiday before her visit, but by something pleasant, some kind of detail. It can be a common dish, some kind of smell. It is important that the moments when you felt good together surfaced in the subconscious of your wife. It was an appeal to old feelings to get his wife back.

Next comes the benefit. No, the promises of golden mountains will not work - if the ex-wife is not a fool, she will not believe it. It is necessary that she herself came to the conclusion that it is more profitable to be with you. This applies not only to your ability to earn money, but also to social, everyday aspects - remember this. Let her know what is more comfortable and useful for her with you.

Then boredom. Since you are unlikely to succeed in making her new man boring, you can make yourself interesting. Find something to do, a passion, a hobby. It’s especially great if she herself is interested in this kind of thing. But in no case do not choose satin stitch embroidery as your hobby simply because your ex-wife loves it. First of all, you do it for yourself and for your development. You see, already the need to return his wife will disappear.

And we do not influence the intellect, it works for itself. If the wife understands that the most rational option for her would be to renew relations with you, then no social norms and morals will not hold her.

If you left with a child

If the wife leaves, then, as a rule, she tries to take the children with her - these are quite obvious and socially acceptable actions. Fundamental difference in how to return a wife with or without a child, no, but the following nuances should be taken into account:

her priorities are tangibly shifted in favor of the child;
the child will consciously or not really influence her choice.

Ways to return a wife and child are quite multifaceted, but one thing should be remembered very important rule: never involve children in showdowns with your wife. The child is not to blame for your disagreements, he just copies the behavioral patterns of both parents and wonders why everything is so strange for him.

Your initial relationship with the child will play a significant role. If you had tangible conflicts with him on the basis of anything, be prepared for the fact that you will not lure your wife back with any fur coats and restaurants. Of course, if she is a responsible mother. I have to sincerely and with with a pure heart establish relations with the child if you want to see his mother as your wife.

If you position yourself not only as a decent man, but also as a good father, there will be more respect for you from the outside. Therefore, the chances of getting his wife back. Just keep going like this.

If she doesn't want

What the strange manner subdue everything? Man, if someone doesn't want something, don't pester him with it! This also applies to how to get your wife back. If she doesn't want to, then don't touch it!

Attempts to suppress someone's will are signs of psychological abuse, which is not much different from physical. It differs, for example, in the duration of residual phenomena - with psychological abuse she is much more. Therefore, there is no need to build insidious and cunning plans on how to return your wife to the family, if you know that she no longer perceives you as a husband and does not want to be with you. You can and will return it, but obviously not in a format that would look like a healthy relationship.

Regarding how to get your wife back, the advice of a psychologist cannot be unambiguous. Psychologists can recommend different things, because every marriage is something special and not generalizable. Psychologists and psychotherapists will not give you a clear algorithm for getting your wife back, following which will lead to a 100% positive result.

How to rekindle love and passion?

It happens that the union as such is slowly disappearing. Nothing bad happens, and nothing good either. Everything is peaceful, quiet, calm and terribly boring. Communication drops to the level of everyday life, sex - to an automatic 3-minute option. There are people who can live like this for a long, long time, but there are those who try to resist. Resistance lies in the resuscitation or euthanasia of the marriage.

If rupture is stubbornly not seen as an option, then resuscitation remains. In order to figure out how to return passion in a relationship with your wife, you should delve into her interests. Psychologists advise finding something that both partners would love and that you can do together. It is desirable that this be something new.

For example, good option it is considered a joint passion for some kind of pair dance. Lindy Hop, Argentine tango, salsa - everyone has their own taste. If there is a place for a spark that will simultaneously appear in your eyes and in the eyes of your wife, there will be something unifying. In such pair dances, new sides of each other are revealed, a different relationship, ritualism, aestheticism and sensation are developed. This often resolves the issue of how to return a wife's feelings for her husband.

Separately, it is necessary to touch on the topic of sex. It is not customary to get to the surface, but a lot of things begin to slowly collapse due to banal sexual dissatisfaction. Society has hammered into their heads that men need sex, and for women it is a strange appendage to love-romance-flowers.

Psychologists believe that sex is about equally important for both sexes. Don't underestimate it, but don't exaggerate either.

What is important here is not even regularity (each has its own) or technicality (it also has its own), but the attitude towards the partner. Remember that arousal in an adult is born in the brain, and not in the genitals. The genitals are just effector organs that respond to the downward impulse.

How to regain trust and respect after the betrayal of her husband?

It was necessary to think about how to regain the respect of his wife before this misconduct. What kind of respect and trust can we talk about if a third stranger appeared in a relationship between two?

Psychologists agree that it is impossible to fully restore trust. Historically, husband and wife perceive each other's bodies as something that belongs to them. And for most people, a wounded sense of ownership does not allow them to take back the person who cheated. This applies to both sexes.

How to regain the trust of his wife after the betrayal of her husband? Psychologists have noticed that even an excuse based on insanity (yes, there are men who justify themselves by being drunk or drugged) has little effect on wives - distrust has already begun. If the gap because of this did not occur immediately, then it will occur after some time. Of course, if the wife cares.

The most rational thing you can do in such a situation is to talk honestly and calmly with your wife. Even if after that it will not work to return the wife, because the trust is undermined, your relationship will remain adequate and relatively clean. Your conscience will not be clear after this, no, but you will not have to walk under the weight of this act.

If the betrayals were regular, how to regain the trust of his wife is out of the question. You have to be responsible for your actions.

If you lived civil marriage, it makes little difference to general plan actions. If your relationship consisted of periodic meetings and languid correspondence, you will have to focus on all this in order to contribute to her return.

For some young ladies, there is a reception with the hope of "something more." And a huge percentage of them perceive it as a "greater" marriage. But keep in mind, if you give her hope for this purely in order to keep or return, then someday she will guess about it. As we have already found out, it is extremely difficult to return the deceived trust.

The fact is that few people can clearly say where the line is between a woman and a girl. Therefore, do not expect that such a wording of the question will change something.

If your relationship was not bound by family and household obligations, then returning such a woman will be as easy as losing it. The simplest and in an honest way there will be a conversation. It does not always contribute to the return, but at least this way all the “i” will be dotted.

Is it possible to use prayers and conspiracies?

You can use Scandinavian runes, and a cemetery love spell, and voodoo magic, even conspiracies on a comb or her shampoo forgotten in her soul. There is such a huge arsenal in order to get your wife back that you can’t even imagine.

Are you competent in this topic?
If not, are you sure you can google the spell and conjure all sorts of miracles right off the bat?
Do you believe in otherworldly forces?

Yes, this is another series of questions, with a negative answer to at least one of which you can flip through this section. It's not even about the fact that you may not be helped by a conspiracy to return your wife to the growing moon. You can:

get into trouble by delving into esoteric practices;
treat this kind of thing as a panacea, doing nothing and starting the situation.

You can go peacefully and think about how to return your wife to the family with prayers - you will quickly be disappointed, to be honest. Undoubtedly, for believers, prayer can be a joy and comfort, something that gives good spirits and confidence in the future. And here the fact of experience and competence does not play any role, the main thing is faith. But do not try to justify your inaction and lack of initiative with prayer - these two factors level out the most thoughtful attempts to return your wife.

Useful video

How to get your beloved wife back. Before proceeding directly to action, you need to fully understand yourself and the situation, prioritize:

Conclusion

Sometimes you really want to return your wife to the family, restore old relationship, but first you need to analyze your mistakes in already former relationship and think about whether it is worth returning to them.
The answer to the question of how to return a wife if she has fallen out of love coincides with that of returning trust after infidelity - no way, you just need to let the person go.