How can you fall in love with your husband again? Why did you fall in love? Little things worth paying attention to
Situations vary, but divorce is the easiest thing to do: No family, no problem. And you have to fight for a relationship! For example, take and fall in love with your husband again! Here are eight ways you can do it as efficiently as possible.
Look at him with different eyes
Once upon a time it was him that you singled out from the crowd of admirers and suitors. And now she suddenly began to notice that he was behaving somehow wrong, he was laughing too loudly, and in general he was wearing socks of the wrong color.
You know, the thing is that you just got enough of it, but for the rest of the girls, he is still the one you met two years ago. Just imagine for a minute that he is not yours. That you can't come up now and hug him ... Do you feel the ache in your chest from jealousy and pain?
Stop focusing on flaws
In the early years of a relationship, we all see in pink color... Over time, the colors thicken. And we suddenly begin to abruptly change our opinion about the habits and hobbies of our beloved. Recently you watched football together, and now that you have started living together, you are annoyed by all these battles on the field. After all, there are so many chores around the house, and he is lying on the couch!
In fact, he hasn't changed. You have changed, you have other concerns: cleaning, washing, taking care of children. Tell him that a walk with a child is more important than a friendly match between Panama and Honduras. Or just turn off the bitch and sit down, watch the game with him. Like the good old days.
Change the setting
It is not necessary to travel together. You can go on a trip with children. But so that none of my friends, relatives, good acquaintances were around. It works because in an unfamiliar area, among unfamiliar foreign citizens, you begin to feel even more keenly as one. A real family... Add to this new impressions and discoveries, the memories of which will forever remain with you.
Arrange romantic dates
Over time, romance disappears from the relationship. Flowers become an attribute on March 8 or Birthday. Going to the movies is being replaced by watching TV. Why go to a cafe at all? Spend money! You can also take out a shirt and iron it ... But you need to get it out and iron it. Because going to a cafe is not just a desire to eat delicious food. This is going out. Paired! And you need to buy candles home, but not in case of a power failure. And in the form of hearts, with a vanilla smell. And light them for no reason ... So that by the end of the evening your eyes burn brighter than their flame.
Give him the opportunity to open up
At home, your husband only eats, sleeps and plays computer games? And you have already begun to perceive it as just an invariable attribute of the interior? Look for common interests urgently! Sign up for a dance school, go to exhibitions and theaters, go kart or swim in the pool. Share his passion and he will be happy to share yours!
Say only good things about him
You began to notice what he gives you less attention... You were offended and complained to your friends. They understood, appreciated, and happily supported the story of how bad he is. And now, at every opportunity, they remind you of this. And now you yourself begin to believe in what you once uttered in your hearts.
Whatever happens between you, do not wash your dirty linen in public. Tell only good things. This will relieve you of unnecessary negative emotions.
Swap roles
We often think that we have fallen out of love when we stop understanding each other. Try to look at the situation through his eyes for a day. Reason like him. Do as he does. And ask him to behave as you usually behave. This mirroring will solve many problems. You will see a lot of new and interesting things in your behavior. He will find mistakes in his. And in the evening you just laugh at all this and understand that the feelings have not gone anywhere.
Hello, Elena
There is such a concept - to teach yourself to love, and this is work with yourself already higher order... That is, if earlier you and your husband were seized by passion, your processes - emotional, mental, behavioral ts in unison, complemented, you were in the best expectations, looked in the same direction and this gave you integrity, inspiration, meaning. Your resources were full and you are rewarded for this child. But this award, it and your feelings for each other (usually in 4-5 years cohabitation). Here comes what we call a challenge test for our values, in other words, a test for personal growth or if you want wisdom.
To put it another way, what needs dominated you or were originally inherent in you, so they begin to dictate their conditions. We begin to cultivate them in ourselves, to nurture them, and on the one who is near and fulfilled, supposedly, his function among these needs, in in this case we begin to level the husband, to belittle his importance, to concentrate on his shortcomings, from time to time to mark them to ourselves, confirm and get irritated ... What kind of love is there? But there is a replacement lovely baby and already the potential for him ... The husband feels it and experiences the discomfort of negativism, which only confirms your Elena to him not the best attitudes.
And the concept is to accustom yourself to love, this is a huge work stretched out in time to keep track of yourself this is your current perception of your husband, the thoughts that annoy you in (about) him, to catch them as pests for you and for the child, and of course for her husband. These ones internal processes and encouraged you to get angry, to swear with each other.
To tell them "STOP, I will HUSBAND admire, I already admire ... that ... that ... that" further actively determine what the HUSBAND IS, good qualities starting with the little things. Notice them and fix them over and over again. Over time, your presentation for the husband and for the child will change only in useful qualities, but for you in the first place. Changes will begin to take place on their own - you will begin to perceive your husband in a wonderful light, he is for you, and you will note to yourself that this dear person is the closest to you, desired, as a given, as a natural part of you, you will already be think not in terms of "I", but "WE"
And if you Elena are not an inveterate egocentric and your needs are not only to provide yourself with material benefits and to obtain approval from significant figures outside the family, and your neighbors (including the child) are not means for you (and I hope that this is not so ). Then you have great opportunities to fall in love with your husband, but in a new quality for yourself. But for this painstakingly and for a very long time to accustom yourself to love this PERSON - YOUR HUSBAND.
A. Blok said - The power of passion is nothing, before the coldness of the mind
And to accustom yourself to this is the cold (in good sense of this word) mind, not doing stupid things now, but letting yourself develop ...
Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer "Hello Elena There is such a concept - to teach yourself to love, and this is work with yourself already of the highest order ..." to the question http: // www .. Can I discuss this answer with you?
Discuss with an expertIt would seem that to love a person, it doesn't take much time. In fact, each of us experiences discomfort, sometimes even pain, trouble when it comes to feelings of personality. Everyone has a lot of experiences associated with the concept of love, remnants of the past, desires for the future and, possibly, losses of the present. Be that as it may, falling in love with a person is not easy if this is not the first time you have done it.
How to love someone who loves you
Needless to say, how difficult it is to fall in love with a person you don't like. It is akin to torture, with the intolerable understanding that you need to stand next to unpleasant person... There are times when there is no way out and you need to accept a person into your life. If you can't accept the person as they are, change your attitude.
Step one. How to love a person without hurting yourself ... Do not bother about the fact that you have dislike for someone. You are you, and who cares, why and where did you get a bad attitude. Be simple in your choice - treat everyone neutral. Nothing in life lasts forever. Anyway, or later it is replaced by another.
Step two. To love someone, learn to accept yourself. ... First of all, accept yourself as a person. Radiate love and goodness without expecting the same in return.
Step three. Acquire a quality like humanism ... All people are equal to each other, but from time to time we put someone above others. They did the same to you. Therefore, take this as gratitude and try to love this person, first of all, as a person. Respect his choice.
It is unpleasant to look at a loved one walking with the other. It is even more unpleasant to fall in love with the person you hate. How realistic is it to do this and stay in your own interests?
- At first, you will have to step over yourself, through your principles, foundations. There is no escape from this: it is important to love your neighbor as yourself. Then you will become happier and give happiness to those around you.
- Secondly, if you can't seem to be sympathetic, don't be sympathetic at all. Become a powerful tree - even if you absorb negative information, process it and radiate it as something useful for everyone. This way you won't shield yourself from outside world and from close people, plus to everything you will become a source good attitude... Find out: .
Could you to love a person you fell out of love? Love suddenly leaves, and we do not know what to do next: leave or try to return the extinguished fire in the heart. One way or another, most couples opt for the latter. And rightly so: in any case, there is a loss old passion, trust in the end ardent love... With great striving, you can return dead sympathy.
By diversifying your routine, you show your significant other that you can be completely different. Do what you would never have done before. Try to show your beloved (or beloved) that you can do anything, and when you see the response, proceed to the next step.
Visit new places by walking on a new route map. Go to museums, exhibitions, theaters, cinema. Enrich the inner side of the relationship.
To love a man for a rich spiritual world not everyone is capable. It is not for nothing that there is a saying “they are greeted by their clothes, escorted by their minds”. We always pay attention to a person's appearance. Nuances such as dirty shoes, unkempt hands, dirty hair, bad smell repel the interlocutor instantly. This can be fixed, but if the soul is empty, it will be more difficult. When choosing a person for life, one must take into account not only the appearance, but also the "stuffing". The label can be pretty, but the candy might not taste good. And vice versa.
It's all a matter of chance, and if you don't like a person just because of his appearance, you are not so much in love with him. Guided by the principle of choosing a loved one, thanks to the mind, we do not make a mistake, as it seems at first glance.
The first years we, of course, are drowning in beauty and all the amenities that happen. After a while, we need a person who will be there when you don't want anything. A beautiful wrapper will definitely not give you such a thing.
Summarizing, I want to say that everything is possible. The problem is how badly you want it. At great desire you will move mountains too. So go for it and never wait the right moment... He comes every moment. Love and be loved!
When we build a relationship with a person we love for a long time, but, for one reason or another, the relationship falls apart, it hits our feelings hard and many of us lose confidence in ourselves. I want to close myself off from the whole world and no longer let anyone into my heart so as not to experience the same pain, because it seems that the second blow is simply impossible to survive.
Nevertheless, our life goes on, and refusing to love again is a punishment, first of all, for ourselves, and, moreover, undeserved.
After all, love is wonderful, one must experience it, one must be sick with it, one must experience it again and again, and enjoy its presence every minute. Lack of love hardens us, we cease to enjoy life and become callous.
Of course, the blows of fate do not make us beautiful, nevertheless, trying to be happy and love again is simply necessary. After all, sincere human relations hold on to love: be it friendly love, love for neighbor, love for a friend, for mom, for dad or a loved one.
Those who have faced unhappy love, who have loved, but met with betrayal and disappointment, may say that it is better not to love than to experience it again. But, the bottom line is that it is not at all necessary that, having fallen in love again, you will again have to go through the pain and separation from your loved one.
So many men and women do big mistake when they dream of a big, bright and pure love... The mistake is not that they dream of it, but that their idea of love is wrong.
Love, in itself, is really a big, strong and bright feeling, but in life we experience it only with short flashes of an influx of feelings. It is during falling in love that we only know that we are flying in the clouds, thinking about our beloved, and it seems to us that this will never end. It's just chemical process, which, like a drug, makes us feel like euphoria. Love is that which is in sorrow and in joy and in sickness. and being healthy is another matter entirely. Falling in love will never survive the ups and downs that love will experience.
Falling in love either does not see problems, or, starting to see them, immediately evaporates and a once in love person is visited by a strange feeling of reality.
Love sees everything, and you accept it, feeling the attraction to the person you love. At the same time, you can experience hatred, disappointment, anger and insecurity. However, love makes you experience these feelings, and again feel warmth and tenderness.
Therefore, if you really want a large and true love, then you need to be prepared for difficulties, disappointments and inevitable problems in the relationship. You can't think of love as something cloudless. Growing love in oneself, it is simply impossible not to worry negative emotions, as it matures only by going through difficulties. Overcoming them, the understanding comes that you are not alone, that in spite of everything, there is a person who loves you, and whom you love.
Of course, this does not mean that you have to endure everything and go forward like a tank, no matter what. Such people also exist: they are ready to endure both humiliation and endless betrayal, this is all wrong. One must remain oneself, one must not lose one's "I", one's pride, but one must understand that life is not black and white, and that nothing is easily given, one must fight for everything and work over everything that is dear.
Therefore, if you are faced with unhappy love, betrayal and disappointment, did not want or could not maintain this relationship, then this is not your person. This means that fate gives you a chance to truly find your love and be truly happy.
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| What does female jealousy lead to? |
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Hello dear readers!
How few couples around me have maintained such an attitude towards each other! How many partners complain that feelings go away already in the second or third year of living together. I tried to imagine myself in the place of a woman who fell out of love with her husband and understand how to fall in love with her husband again and is it possible?
Reason 1
Hormones are to blame! At the beginning of a relationship, we are literally blinded by dopamine, from which love blows away. However, after a couple of years it is replaced by a more restrained oxytocin and then the process of rethinking values starts in the head. And we suddenly begin to notice that a loved one, it turns out, has a bunch of unbearable qualities!
Reason 2
Say no to the routine! If in the previous paragraph you can blame nature, then in this case everything is in your hands and you can only bring everything to the point where everything is repeated from day to day.
Reason 3
The appearance of a child can both unite a couple even more and create an abyss between partners. If for a man all the needs have remained in place, then for a woman motherhood begins to dominate, and the husband is often relegated to the background.
Reason 4
One of the biggest reasons partners value each other is their ability to give in. Over time, this becomes a habit on both sides, the main thing is to take the first step. Typically, the side to whom they have lost feels gratitude and warmth. In families for whom the word "compromise" is alien, feelings often fade away after a year or two.
Reason 5
Not all representatives of different social strata, cultures, religions manage to bring the cup of love to the end of their lives without splashing. Most often, in addition to themselves, the environment decides a lot.
Reason 6
The emergence of connections on the side. It often happens: the wife began to hate her husband because of the realization that he had another. But there are opposite situations when a woman cannot forget her lover, which will certainly affect the climate in the family.
Signs that feelings have faded
Previously, watching a movie without a hug was not complete, but now "move away, it's too hot"? Actually, if everything that was previously considered cute starts to annoy, then a crisis is coming.
To gauge how far you've come, answer yourself a few questions honestly.
- Do you want to spend a lot of time with him as before? Sometimes we ourselves do not notice how we begin to avoid meetings and try to equip our personal space in another room?
- Does the thought of his touches and kisses excite the mind?
- Do you often think about him and about you together during the day?
- How often do you find it interesting and fun in the company of your spouse? Do you share your thoughts, opinions, impressions with each other?
- How do you feel about fights? Are you trying to understand, analyze, make peace?
- Do you compare him to other men?
Probably, and so it is clear: the more negative answers, the sooner you need to start saving your relationship. If you still need it, of course. And in order to assess how relevant this issue is for you, imagine that this person is no longer there. Not only with you, but in general (so that if something happens, you could not get through to him).
Stay with this sensation for a couple of hours. Listen to the sensations - do you feel like you already miss him? So there is something to work on!
Can love be returned
In Japan, there used to be a custom to send spouses to uninhabited island if they often had conflicts. One of the main fears of a person is the fear of loneliness, it was he who played the role of a conciliator, contributing to the rallying of two people.
Why can't you fall in love with your husband again?
Maybe you never really loved him? Or, conversely, happiness and love in marriage began to disappear after infidelity (and it doesn't matter from whose side)?
In both cases, you have to break yourself and make incredible efforts in order to accept the man who is disliked again, so the best solution is to take time out. A week apart - wonderful way to understand whether you are ready to give up this relationship, or can you still return love?
And if there is no dislike, but there is pity? Also not better situation... And yet, if you have the confidence that you do not feel any more feelings for this person, it is better, trying not to spoil the relationship, to give each other freedom and the opportunity to find more suitable partners.
Many people believe that you can use magic to influence people and their feelings. But remember that using conspiracies and other magic tricks, you destroy yourself in the first place. Is the game worth the candle?
Better just try to praise your husband. Thus, you will fix in your subconscious that he is not so bad, and you will make him want to do something else in order to receive a compliment. Video on the topic: how to praise a man correctly:
Try to imagine that you are no longer together, he is not yours. Then watch how he makes a sandwich and imagine that now he will carry the sandwich to her. Go further, imagine that he stopped meeting you in the car after work or performing any actions, from those that you are used to doing together, and at this time he enjoys life with the other. Once you get jealous, love will slowly return.
Remember how it all began. Write a list of 100 qualities you loved about it. Take 5 points from the list and analyze where it went? Try to see or help awaken them again, and you will see how the feelings begin to warm your relationship again.
Stress, positive or negative, can both increase and decrease the distance between you. The main thing is to plan everything correctly. Coelho has a novel "Adultery", in which main character falls in love with her husband again after paragliding. It is not necessary, of course, to go to extremes if you are afraid of heights and extreme entertainment.
But be aware: according to most psychologists, having found themselves in a new environment, unknown places, overcoming fears and difficulties, and even more so, committing some unusual act together, the spouses usually return home, as after a honeymoon.
Reprogram yourself. Perhaps in the past something has influenced you so that it is difficult for you to let go of pessimistic thoughts, but now you are the author of your own destiny. Re-tune. Promise yourself 3 days to see only good in him and in your family. It is quite possible that after this time a light will appear in your eyes again!
- If your partner has ceased to be outwardly attractive, try to take the initiative into your own hands. You are the creator of your own happiness and own husband! Recovered? Get a joint gym membership or go camping together. Is she dressing badly? Go shopping for a couple! Don't like the manners? Play a game: create cards, write etiquette questions and multiple answers on them. Choose three cards each, according to the text of which you will spend the week. For the correct answer - an incentive prize, for the fulfillment of the conditions - something more substantial.
- When a wife's feelings for her spouse cool down, she compares him with other men, against whom her own does not look very attractive. Psychologists recommend not to forget that the impression of outsiders can be false, since we tend to see some advantages and our assessment is likely to be biased.
- Each pair on initial stages relationship experienced happy moments. Create a collage, memory diary or video clip from photos, pictures of places or events, and phrases that mean something to your couple, use music that reminds of pleasant moments... Paste in small souvenirs or tickets, everything that started the novel. Do not evaluate, do not write phrases like "then you were like this, but now you will not get anything from you."
Just state the facts. Arrange " cozy evening". For some, these are gatherings on the floor with a hookah and assorted fruits; for others, a roof, blankets and mugs of hot chocolate or aromatic tea are more suitable. Think over the evening in such a way that you will be able to interest in an unusual, but comfortable atmosphere for both. Scroll through the memories together, maybe this way it will be possible to restore feelings?