What to do if you no longer have the slightest desire to live with your husband. How to reach mutual understanding with your husband? I don’t love my husband, how to live on - what steps can be taken in such a situation

11.05.2019

"He doesn't understand me!" - everyone said this phrase at least once in their life married woman. What is this: simple words, said on emotions, or a statement of fact? Then how to live with a husband if there is no mutual understanding? Or maybe it's not specific man, but in all? Perhaps, at the genetic level, they are not able to understand women and satisfy all their desires and needs? All this will be discussed in this article.

Short-lived happiness from marriage

In the first days and weeks of marital relations, as well as at the beginning of acquaintance and the birth of love, it seems that happiness has finally come. The newlyweds are in good mood, they see family life as easy, cloudless and infinitely joyful. But very soon this euphoria ends, and it is replaced by gray everyday life, domestic troubles, as well as one of the most common reasons for a quarrel: the problem of mutual understanding. How better man and a woman get to know each other in marriage, the weaker their sexual attraction becomes, because their dreams have come true, turning into real life, which means that sex has moved from violent passion into the category of ordinary performance of marital duties.

Marriage kills romance

Over time, the husband and wife cease to treat each other so reverently and tenderly, as before the wedding. Weasel, flirting disappear, compliments are spoken less and less, they are replaced by criticism and mutual claims. Egoism wakes up in each of the spouses, I want the partner to indulge and please in everything. Such desires give rise to omissions, resentment, disappointment.

If you want to maintain mutual understanding in the family for as long as possible, then you need to cherish love, try to bring at least a drop of romance into everyday life: little surprise, flowers for no reason, walks in the park, a kiss at a meeting and goodbye. And it should not be friendly, on the cheek, but real, passionate. Such as if you are not married, as when you first met and had not yet had time to get enough of each other. Love will keep the marriage as long as there are greedy long kisses.

No relationship with husband

Saving a marriage and building family comfort- a difficult matter, but doable if both spouses undertake it. Most often it happens that the wife beats in closed door, trying for the good of her husband, and in return does not receive any gratitude. In marriage, men turn on a consumer attitude towards a woman who should cook, wash, clean, give birth to children, take care of them herself, not interfere with watching TV, while still working, looking good, but not spending money on cosmetics and beauty salons. The husband is sure that he does not owe anything and is quite capable of making his wife happy simply by his presence, in best case also brought salary. Tired of such an environment, periodically asking herself the question of how to live with her husband, if there is no mutual understanding, the woman does not find the right answer and decides on a divorce. But is the marriage doomed? After all, until recently, you lived in dreams about this person, looked forward to meeting, solemnly swore in the registry office in eternal love and care in sorrow and joy.

Psychologists offer to use some recommendations, thanks to which mutual understanding and trust can return to family relationships.

Happy spouses - myth or reality?

As you know, any fairy tale can be brought to life. So, happy married life quite real. Such a couple will always have time and desire for unpretentious signs of attention, thanks to which you can feel warmth, attention and love. After all, it is not at all difficult to warn in advance that you are late from work, set aside a couple of minutes during the day, call and find out how you are doing. Meeting in the evening in the kitchen, loving husband and the wife will definitely ask how everyone's day went. These little things allow you to feel what they think about you, worry that you are an important part of your partner's life.

If there is no happiness

How to live with a husband if there is no mutual understanding in the family even after following all the above tips? With a probability of 90%, we can say that this article will be read by women, which means that only they will follow the recommendations. But you can't achieve positive result if both spouses are not working to save the relationship. Usually men do not think about such subtle matters as harmony and mutual understanding, it is more important for them to be full and watch TV. Such a marriage will last exactly as long as women's patience is enough.

Reconcile or break up?

The opinion imposed by society affects the acceptance of a tired wife right decision. Almost every advice says that a woman should be near her husband, endure and come to terms with her difficult lot. Many ladies believe that all men are bad, but living alone is even worse and therefore turn a blind eye to drunkenness, laziness, and betrayal. All this results in scandals, tantrums, hundreds and thousands of dead nerve cells. If there are children in the family, then they are unwitting witnesses to such dramas. Girls, seeing an unhappy mother, begin with young years hate the father, and then the men. In children, an incorrect model of relations between a man and a woman is being built in their heads, because of which it will be difficult for them in the future to build their own cell of society. Therefore, sometimes to the question of how to live with a husband, if there is no mutual understanding, there is only one correct answer: no way!

Freedom or loneliness?

The one who has his small copy is not alone. Don't forget that family comes first. blood ties, which means that, having parted with your husband, you have not lost your family if you have a child. If you have not found common goals and interests with your spouse that could seal the marriage, you always have a chance to build a harmonious relationship with your child. And if your baby is a boy, then you must certainly try to raise him in such a way that your future daughter-in-law will say "thank you" to you.

It’s worth mentioning right away that each situation will not be identical to the rest and it’s never worth making a hasty decision based on any advice. If there is a specific question, you can ask it in the comments and find out the opinion of other people who have experienced something similar, and only after that you should think it over again and make an informed decision.

This article provides answers to a number of topical issues, by which you can get an idea of how the problem is solved by others and what you should pay attention to in order to better understand everything and make the right choice.

How to live with a husband who does not love you, cheats on you and does not leave, you hate, insults

Why live and endure insults and humiliation. Leave, start a new life.

How to live with a husband who is disgusting, drinks, voices in my head

Living with a person who causes dislike or disgust cannot be worse. Don't mock yourself, get divorced. If the husband is an alcoholic, ready to change, go to a narcologist.

How to live with a husband who has HIV, hepatitis C

Medical treatment will protect you from these diagnoses. Today, it is not even scary to give birth with this, because the child will be healthy.

How to live with a husband who has a child, a constant lover, had a family, if there is nowhere to go and there is no mutual understanding

It's one thing when you can pick up and leave, another when there is nowhere. Desperate situations It doesn’t happen, there are various centers that help women who find themselves in a difficult situation.

How to live with a husband if you love another, he loves another

Divorce. No one will be offended, everyone will go to their soul mate, everyone is happy.

How to live with a boring husband if he constantly scolds the child

Get help from a drug dealer. Most often, alcoholic husbands very soon begin to beat their wives and children, turning into a tyrant.

How to live with a husband for the sake of children

Children will grow up, everyone will have their own family. And your life will go on with an unloved person.

How to live with a miser, tyrant, despot, boor, schizophrenic, selfish, energy vampire husband

Miser or thrifty? Maybe he won't give you a new mascara, but he will buy a car or a new TV. If the miser is greedy for you even small expenses, it is unlikely that you will be able to change. Try to be independent.

A tyrant, a despot, all this sits deep in his head and is unlikely to come out of there. Run away from him. schizophrenic, selfish and energetic vampire not as scary as a despot. But they are unlikely to become those with whom it will be good and comfortable.

How to live with your husband without scandals and quarrels happily ever after

It will become boring without quarrels at all, learn to sort things out calmly. Understand that excess emotions get in the way.

How to live with a husband in the same apartment after a divorce, in different rooms, cities

There is no way to leave, live as your relationship allows. When there is no hatred, it is easier to find a common language.

Husband cheating is just the tip of the iceberg. There are only two ways out of this situation.

Hello dear ladies! It is terrible when a woman is faced with her husband's infidelity, but even more terrible when it becomes a permanent behavior. Today I would like to talk to you about how to live with a man who cheats. Is there a way out of this situation, how can you influence a man and what to do if you are afraid to be alone.

To begin with, I offer you several options for how you can fix the situation.

Understand why the spouse walks to the left. If he gets mistresses just for the sake of bed, then you have every chance to change the situation. You need to work on yourself. To become more sexual, liberated in bed, not to talk about endless headaches.

If in the relationship of spouses come serious problems, then the first thing is collapsing them sex life. First of all, it is necessary for both partners to recognize their presence and try to sort out the relationship.

When everyone accepts responsibility for what happened, this is already half the way to success. Then I recommend going to family therapy together. Thus, you can quickly eliminate the causes of discord and outline solutions.

In the article “I want to have a mistress,” I considered a similar issue with male hand. It will be extremely useful to you. Family relationships should not just go by themselves, but be a constant workflow. All is not well without your participation.

Is it possible to ward off your faithful from his mistress? Can. But for this you need to stop making scandals and tantrums, do not "nag" your faithful, do not threaten or manipulate. The bed is a love bed. There you two should have fun. And if one of you doesn't get it, then the problems begin.

Read the article "Husband doesn't want to spend time with family." Sometimes men have such problems with which he cannot cope on his own. And for this we need you, his faithful and reliable wife.

If the betrayal was one-time, by chance, and the spouse wants to live on, to establish relations with you, then the article “How to return the husband’s love after his betrayal” will be very useful to you.

Remember that any relationship is amenable to correction. It all depends on the desire and willingness to work on yourself.

There are other types as well. Those who cannot miss a single skirt and for them it is more than just pleasure in bed. This is competition, hunting. Involved here psychological moment which you most likely cannot solve on your own.

Knowing that your spouse is constantly cheating, I recommend that you contact a psychologist who will help you understand what you should do next in such a situation. If you think “this will not work with us, the psychologist will not help”, then my answer to you is - just try it.

Don't give up on an idea because you don't think it will help.

Living with a man who does not miss a single girl is very difficult. Are they all like that? The article “Do all men cheat on their wives” will answer this question for you.

In addition, you will be interested in the article "Why cheats and does not leave." After all, it happens that a spouse is not going to leave his wife, but he still has a mistress.

Men who cannot be faithful to one woman, no one can change. If a change does occur, it will be at the behest of the youngest man himself. Someday he will understand everything, come to a conscious decision, find his only one, for the sake of which he will be able to give up a fleeting hobby.

But I would not advise you to wait for this and hope for a miracle if the spouse does not get out of the bed of other young ladies.

Because of the fear of being left alone, many ladies suffer beatings, humiliation, betrayal, live with their spouse simply because of fear. My client says: I don't want to live with him, but I'm so afraid of being alone that I don't know what to do.

First - remember that the world did not converge like a wedge on one man. If you are not in a relationship, then this is not your person. It is impossible to pull a family alone. Sooner or later one will come critical moment when the power runs out.

Second, you create your own fears. Man cultivates the fear of loneliness and the unknown. If you do not dwell on it, you will succeed much faster.

If you are not sure of yourself, then be sure to read the article "How to be self-sufficient woman". You own all necessary qualities in order to be desired and loved. Believe me, every person on Earth deserves happiness.

Yes, now you can be wildly scared. But it will pass. If you can't do it alone, find support for yourself. It can be a mother, a friend, a colleague at work or a psychologist.

Summing up, we can highlight a few points with you.

If there is a chance to fix everything and improve relations with your husband, then both work on yourself, put your relationship in order and everything will automatically change in bed. The most important thing is to solve the problem together and act as a united front.
If the spouse is a terrible womanizer who cannot be corrected even by a psychologist, then it is up to you to stay with him or change your life for the better.

Don't be afraid to be alone. I am sure that you will be able to meet a faithful and loving man.

Share with us your story. Why do you think the spouse walks to the left? What's going on in your bedroom? Can you call yourself a good lover? Why do men find entertainment on the side? And does it depend on them?

Source:
Husband cheating is just the tip of the iceberg
how to live with a man who cheats? If serious problems arise in the relationship of the spouses, then the first thing that collapses is their sex life. First of all, it is necessary for both partners to recognize their existence.
http://ezy-life.ru/zhenshhinam/kak-zhit-s-muzhem-kotorii-izmenaet.html

Is it worth it to live with a husband who constantly cheats?

I am 25 years old, married for 3.5 years. We have one child. My husband constantly cheats on me, goes to discos, meets other women. If I try to talk to him about it, he says it's none of my business. On this moment I try to pretend that I don’t notice anything, I try not to argue with him, always look good, be gentle and patient. But it seems to me that the more I keep quiet, the more he allows himself.

I do not want to destroy my family, but I am afraid that this will always continue. How to understand when it is worth living with a husband, and when it is already necessary to get a divorce? Previously, he performed namaz, went to Friday prayers, then he gradually quit, and began to drink with friends. Sometimes his friends come and drink at our house, and then I have to clean up after them. More than his betrayal, it upsets me that he completely strayed from Islam. Help, please, help him return to Islam! Is there a prayer for the preservation of the family? And is it even worth keeping? this case? Thank you very much, may Allah reward you for your hard work!

Theologian's response:

Islam forbids accusing someone of adultery without evidence, namely without the testimony of four devout Muslim men who saw the process of committing adultery. Therefore, I will not undertake to blame anyone, I will simply talk about the sin of extramarital relations. The great Muslim luminaries from the Koran and the Sunnah ruled that illegal (according to Sharia) intimate relationship- such a great sin that in terms of its severity they are second only to unbelief and the murder of an innocent person! Shariah also established the punishment for adultery: 100 lashes for an unmarried man and stoning to death for a married man! It is desirable for a person who has committed adultery to hide his sin and repent of his deed.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said that the most hated of what is permitted by the Almighty is divorce (“Bulyugul-maram min adillatil-ahkam”, No. 1069).

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Therefore, it is necessary to make as much effort as possible to save the marriage, and you will always have time to get a divorce. At the moment when the husband is most inclined to talk, try to talk to him, discuss with him your later life, try to explain to him that his behavior does not correspond to the behavior of a Muslim, the behavior of a man and the head of the family. If you have children, then draw his attention to what they can take from him. bad example.

Once the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), seeing off his companion Muaz ibn Jabal, turned to him with the words: “It is better for you that Allah guide one person through you than the whole world and everything that is in it!” Therefore, try to awaken in him a love for religion again, use Islamic literature, audio-video products for this, including those in which scientific discoveries and achievements prove the truth of the Koran, and, consequently, of our entire religion. Invite him to read and view similar products together. Talk to his parents and friends, ask them to help you re-educate your spouse - the latter, of course, should be connected only if they themselves comply with all Islamic prescriptions. Turn to the Almighty more often in your prayers so that He opens the heart of your spouse.

Psychologist's opinion:

I hope the theologian will explain to both you and me whether your marriage is still valid if the husband behaves this way. This is a paramount question. There were often times when similar people repented and abandoned their bad habits. But usually this happened as a result of some kind of tragedy, when something terrible happened in a person’s life. You can continue to wait until it gets better, but the question is whether it will get better. It's a shame that he sets a bad example for a child who can imitate him and learn his model of behavior. Try to draw your husband's attention to this side of his actions, and perhaps the responsibility for the child will make its own adjustments to his behavior.

Most likely, his change is connected with his social circle, and it is very difficult to pull a person out of it. If this is so, then it is worth finding out what he gets from communicating with them, which he does not get in other areas. Try to attract him to domestic work, ask him to help you in doing some work. Make sure that there are things at home that remind him of Islam - these can be posters, paintings and, of course, literature.

Such cases are always unique in their kind, in the sense that the reasons for such behavior of husbands are not always clear. Sometimes it comes down to the fact that in such companies a person begins to feel his own importance as a person, and sometimes as a man in cases adultery. Look at what is happening in your intimate side - it is possible that the reason is hidden there, because this, unfortunately, happens often.

The question was answered:

Muhammad-Amin Magomedrasulov
theologian

Aliaskhab Anatolievich Murzaev
psychologist-consultant of the Center social assistance family and children

If there's a chance to make things right

To begin with, I offer you several options for how you can fix the situation.

If serious problems arise in the relationship of the spouses, then the first thing that collapses is their sex life. First of all, it is necessary for both partners to recognize their presence and try to sort out the relationship.

Remember that any relationship is amenable to correction. It all depends on the desire and willingness to work on yourself.

There are other types as well. Those who cannot miss a single skirt and for them it is more than just pleasure in bed. This is competition, hunting. There is a psychological moment involved here, which you, most likely, cannot solve on your own.

Don't give up on an idea because you don't think it will help.

In addition, you will be interested in the article "". After all, it happens that a spouse is not going to leave his wife, but he still has a mistress.

But I would not advise you to wait for this and hope for a miracle if the spouse does not get out of the bed of other young ladies.

Don't be afraid of change

First - remember that the world did not converge like a wedge on one man. If you are not in a relationship, then this is not your person. It is impossible to pull a family alone. Sooner or later, that critical moment will come when the forces run out.

Second, you create your own fears. Man cultivates the fear of loneliness and the unknown. If you do not dwell on it, you will succeed much faster.

If you are not sure of yourself, then be sure to check out the article "". You have all the necessary qualities to be desired and loved. Believe me, every person on Earth deserves happiness.

Yes, now you can be wildly scared. But it will pass. If you can't do it alone, find support for yourself. It can be a mother, a friend, a colleague at work or a psychologist.

Summing up, we can highlight a few points with you.

If there is a chance to fix everything and improve relations with your husband, then both work on yourself, put your relationship in order and everything will automatically change in bed. The most important thing is to solve the problem together and act as a united front.
If the spouse is a terrible womanizer who cannot be corrected even by a psychologist, then it is up to you to stay with him or change your life for the better.

Don't be afraid to be alone. I am sure that you will be able to meet a faithful and loving man.

Don't despair and believe in yourself!

Hello dear readers! Any relationship is a roller coaster. Today I love, tomorrow I hate, on the third day everything seems to be wonderful again. That's just any attraction ends sooner or later. Some press the stop-cock themselves, others wait for this from the second half, and still others do nothing and fly out at high speed, crashing into a tree, then moving away from the blow for a long time.

If you suddenly realize and ask yourself: “I don’t want to live with my husband, what should I do” - the advice of a psychologist will come in handy. Right now you can really get valuable advice, which may not help to 100% deal with the situation, but it will be possible to get the right direction for further reflection and action.

Let's begin.

Save can not be divorced

Recently, we all fell in love with chopping from the shoulder. I don't understand what happened, but we became maniacally afraid of wasting time. We hope to meet a person, even if without any particular reason we suspect the spouse of having a mistress.

We began to value ourselves more, more often to hope for a miracle and those around us. As if, somewhere, not even the second half for everyone, but three or four servants, designed to make life more colorful and happier, began to be born.

Many women, and even men, are sure that somewhere, which does nothing but cook, wash, court. A woman irons shirts with one hand, and with the other she sculpts dumplings, while she certainly weighs 30 kilograms and always walks with a perfect hairdo. A man earns a lot of money and 90% of the time only says that his wife should never and never work.

Only one thing is interesting, where in our whole country can you find so many ideal soul mates and why should they live with someone who only accepts grace? What can we ourselves give in return to the person who will give us boundless happiness? Well, except unearthly beauty, for which you don’t even want to follow.

Before you think about what to do if you don’t want to live with your husband, think about relationships in general: what do you expect from your ideal spouse, can you match him, is everything so bad in your existing family, have other people always been to blame for your misfortune. All this is not very simple, and not as obvious as it might seem to a person, especially with high self-esteem.

Talk to someone about this topic. It’s great if you manage to get an appointment with a psychologist.

Deadly excuses

In society, there are so many excuses for any behavior now that you can figure them out and create your own. right attitude which does not lead to psychological pain is very difficult.

One of my clients, who wanted to leave the family, often repeated the phrase: “Yes, we have two children, but it is better for them to live with parents who are happy separately than we will constantly swear together.”

This young man he failed to convince himself of the correctness of this judgment, he left his wife, but after some time he realized that he was not able to do this with the child and returned to solve all their problems and fix family relationships. By the way, they succeeded.

Understand yourself and think twice about your own family values, worldview and contradictions that can lead to intrapersonal conflicts.

Even the fact that you have nowhere to go can be a powerful incentive to start all over again and achieve harmonious relations with husband. As they say, there would be a desire and something to cling to with a thought.

If you are serious

If all of the above did not help, and you are determined to leave, then first of all you need to talk with your spouse and find out his opinion on this matter. Do not be too categorical, because together you are really capable. Perhaps in a conversation you will understand that he loves you and it would be a mistake to abandon the family.

Waiting for him to leave or trying to gently lead him to this idea is not the best way out, firstly, it is not too honest, secondly, it is unproductive, thirdly, you risk waiting too long. You will completely ruin your relationship with former spouse and even if it doesn’t seem important to you now, but over time you risk regretting what you did.

Try to avoid destructive relationships with people. It's not in your best interest. I can also recommend a book Mikhail Labkovsky "I want and I will: accept myself, love life and become happy" which will answer many questions and point you in the right direction.

A conversation with your husband will not be easy, but in any case it must take place. After it, your life will change and you should not predict in which direction yet. Everything is too unpredictable. That's all for me. See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.