How to cultivate good qualities in a child. How do Canadian children communicate with each other. How to develop certain qualities in a child

The upbringing of the child's personal qualities is the transfer of knowledge about correct forms behavior in society, focusing on generally accepted norms and values. Therefore, raising a child, first of all, implies personal examples, on which the baby will learn from his educator.

Stages of education of personal qualities

So, let's talk about what stages of educating a child's personal qualities exist.

The first stage is the formation in the child of the need for knowledge social peace and the development of certain qualities.

The second stage is the assimilation by the child of knowledge and concepts of personal qualities.

The third stage is the formation of various skills, abilities and habits of behavior.

A child will be able to go through all these stages only if education includes various forms active activity. Therefore, the task of the educator is to organize some kind of business, and then motivate the child to take an active part in it. It must be remembered that from time to time, the purpose of education necessary qualities can change, depending on what the child learns, what conclusions he draws and how he reacts to situations. The changes that take place in society also affect the upbringing of personal qualities. The teacher must follow them in order to correctly orient the child. But it is worth noting that in any society such qualities as humanity, spirituality, freedom and responsibility are valued. To cultivate these qualities, the teacher must clearly understand the goal and find an individual approach to each child. Only in this way can he quickly achieve results and be sure that the pupil has received everything. necessary skills and can correctly prioritize life.

Multifactorial education of personal qualities

Remember that parenting is always multifactorial. Personality is constantly affected by a variety of life factors. Therefore, you can not try to raise all children equally. Methods need to be selected according to the external factors can affect the child's worldview and the formation of his values. Also, do not forget that all children different tempers. For example, some are stimulated to action by strict treatment, while others, on the contrary, are frightened. Anxious and vulnerable child will perceive this form of education as humiliation and insult on the part of the teacher.

Another important fact that the educator should always remember is that education never gives instant effect. Therefore, you should not try to instill in the baby all the necessary qualities at one time. Children do not always understand what teachers are trying to convey to them due to a wide variety of factors that affect them. Therefore, you need to show the child how to behave and react to certain events by your own example, repeating this until you see that the child consciously repeats your behavior model.

Positive emotional background for education

Working with children, it is necessary to create a positive emotional background. Therefore, the teacher must carefully monitor that there are good relationships in the team. There must be equality between them. Also, in no case should you focus on the mistakes and mistakes of the child.

What qualities should be cultivated in a boy?
/2nd edition, corrected and supplemented/

Foreword

This article was written based on the dialogue in "Google.Q&A", but this service has now closed, and the answers have gone beyond all acceptable limits, which is why a separate article was required. It is very useful for everyone who has small (up to 3 years old) sons, nephews, grandchildren, and who would like to raise them properly. The main drafts were ready in 2012, the first edition was published in 2014 on the Proza.Ru portal, and an additional section called "Manifestation" was written in the spring of 17, some minor errors and shortcomings were also corrected.
Presenting to the esteemed public the Second Revised and Expanded Edition, and in no way interfering with your family, the author would like to humbly remark that these recommendations will be useful to you.

The essence of the original question is that the woman asks the author how she should raise her boys. She has two sons, the eldest is 2 years old, she asks for the future, her mother is an ordinary worldly woman.
Our response is below.

Observation

Until the age of 5, it is better not to punish or scold the child: neither son nor daughter; try to be calm and kind, no matter what he does. Your child will have a normal childhood and will remember you fondly. Many begin to "build" their children almost from birth, and as a result become enemies of their own children for life. But it shouldn't be allowed either. After all, small children are not intelligent, and you need to control the child so that he does not cause danger to himself and others. Children under 4-5 years old are not very friendly with logic and do not understand the meaning of words, but they understand intonation very well. Therefore, you can say anything, the main thing is that it be with care and kindness. I saw how a young mother almost swears at her 4-year-old son, but since there is no hatred in her heart, the boy is not angry with her and understands everything adequately (although, of course, it is better not to use swear words - this is not favorable for children , nor for adults).
Qualities are usually already given from birth (in fact, even earlier). They just need to be identified and developed. It is foolish to "develop" something for which the child has no inclination. Many people have been broken like this all their lives. By the age of three, a boy usually shows certain inclinations that will be with him for almost his entire life. Let's consider them in more detail:

1. Tendency to learn, distinguish colors, memorize large volumes text at a time, counting, decomposing objects into their component parts, "sorting things out" and systematics. He likes to play board games (or likes to watch it), listens very carefully to adults from the very beginning. early childhood almost always calm. Eats little, not prone to fatty and heavy food, especially to meat (often naughty when they try to feed him with meat and lard). Such a child also sleeps a little, does not like to sleep during the day, without special problems wakes up early in the morning. Often silent or begins to speak much later than normal children. Learns to read before school. Likes to look at the stars. And these children often have an increased tendency to cleanliness.

2. Prone to activity, mobile, almost never gets sick, even in early childhood, when almost everyone gets sick. An extremely heightened sense of justice, forgives nothing and remembers everything. Can easily get angry, but also easygoing. Loves outdoor games. A born leader, both boys and girls listen to him, and much older than his age, and even some adults. He likes to mess around with the kids, even if he is not asked about it. Extremely attached to external forms glorification: awards, regalia, diplomas, badges, etc. Painfully proud and vain, loves flattery and self-respect, cannot calmly pass by this. But for all that, he has an impossibly independent character and does not recognize any authorities - only a person much smarter and more experienced than him can argue with him.

3. A penchant for music, songs, dances, drawing, modeling, calligraphy, etc. He likes to be in nature, sleeps for a long time in the morning, and vice versa less at night. Rich imagination, constantly composes something. Very often he says some things that he did not witness and could not learn about them from any of his friends, acquaintances or older relatives; at the same time, if you check, then his words for the most part turn out to be true, but he cannot explain how he learned this. The mood is extremely changeable, and can change several times a day. Doesn't like to eat a lot. This type is more common among girls, but boys are also found.

4. Economic, likes to clean up, lay out and shift things (not only his own), cook, mess with pets, even if he is not asked about it. Knows what and where lies, can help find any thing, even in young age. Very attentive and almost never makes mistakes. Knows what and where is sold, and how much it costs. It is very difficult to deceive him. Likes to collect anything, especially coins. If such a boy lives in the city, then at an early age he can be trusted with money and asked to buy something in a store; if in the village - it will be best helper on the farm or farm.

5. A penchant for craftsmanship. Likes to watch someone do physical work, and if you do not stop him, he will definitely climb to help. With early years holds tools well in his hands and uses them much better than his peers. His toys often contain electronic components, car parts, some kind of piece of iron, nuts, etc. Loves puzzles, constructors, computers, Cell Phones. Any toy will definitely disassemble. By the age of 3, he manages with a mobile phone or tablet no worse than adults. Very independent and not inclined to theoretical training. Eats and sleeps a lot. Physically developed. Influenced by almost everyone. He reads little and does not like this business. Wants to go to work from an early age. At an early age, he does not particularly communicate with girls, and they also shun him. Favorite place rest - dad's garage.

These are the main types of little boys. It is very rare that one child exhibits qualities from several points at once. Children do not always show all the qualities and inclinations from any point, but more often than not, MOST of the qualities from one point are manifested in one way or another. These sections are arranged in order of prevalence, ie. The 1st type is the most rare, the 2nd more often, etc., and the 5th type is the most common.
We recommend that all young parents and nannies take a closer look at their children and determine which category they belong to - usually these qualities are manifested almost from birth, and by the age of three you can clearly distinguish them.

Manifestation

In the next section, entitled "Application", we will describe in which direction to develop the child, depending on his natural inclinations, but first we will give a special secret test. He, in principle, is not particularly needed, because all the inclinations and qualities have already been listed, and you must not know your child at all in order not to notice them. But if you don't want to wait three years or for some reason you can not follow your son, you can put this unusual experiment.
The essence of the experiment is that a little boy CAM will show his type, you don’t even need to carefully observe him for several years. However, you can observe later and make sure that he told you everything correctly. For girls, such tests are of little use, because, firstly, they have a scattered mind, and it will be difficult for them to choose one subject (she wants everything at once), and secondly, women rarely open up in external environment(they need more peace and quiet in their own family). Therefore, there are other experiments for girls. But if you have little son and nephew, you can check it as it will be described here. In terms of age, the recommendation is as follows - he should be small enough that he does not yet use his mind to choose, but big enough to be able to walk on his own and firmly hold objects in his hands. So ideal age for such an experiment, it is from 1.5 to 2.5 years. After three years, the mind begins to turn on (more earlier child already catches what people want from him), after 4 years he can be cunning and clumsily deceive, and after five he already deceives "by full program". Therefore, it is better not to delay the experiment, otherwise you will not get a "clean" result, but only what you want, and your child will "play along" with you in this. can, the children at this time are pure and sincere.For additional honesty and "purity of the experiment" you should not direct, hint, suggest, indicate, wink and in any other way interfere with the child to make his choice - it is important that this is HIS choice, not yours. But leaving him alone in an empty room is also not worth it - children at a young age are very shy, and the child, left alone, will not choose anything, but will start crying and calling for his mother. Therefore, his parents and / or older relatives must be present , but they should not prompt him and influence his choice in any way.Another recommendation is that the experiment should be carried out in your own house / apartment, in extreme cases - where you and your child are very often (for example, with a grandmother), because in an unfamiliar place boo baby children feel insecure and either make the wrong choice, or (more often) choose nothing at all, but will look around more. He should also be clean washed (be sure to change the diaper!), recently eat, go (or not want to) to the toilet and sleep. The weather should be good and calm, no thunder, wind or storm, it should be daytime. So, for the purity of the experiment, no one and nothing should distract your child: neither place, nor adults, nor urges own body, nor the weather outside the window.
This test, which is not too well known among us, is more than one thousand years old, and if it had not worked, no one would have conducted it until now. So please take it seriously! Before conducting this test directly, you need to prepare 5 (five) groups of items. The most important condition is that all items must be real, real (that is, no models, models, toys, plastic knives, fake money and inflatable books). The second and also important condition arising from the first is that since real items will be used and some of them are dangerous for a small person, you must somehow secure them. But it is not allowed to replace a real, "adult" object with a children's toy - otherwise the child will not develop into adulthood, and will search for himself and "buzz around" for a long time. In fact, four groups of objects are used, but since we have five types and there will be the same number of ways of education, we will use five groups, again for the purity of the experiment.

1. The first group is books. They should not be children's coloring books, pop-up books, popular cartoon comics, etc. – only adult, serious books! The ideal option is something Holy Bible, such as the Bible or the Quran, or the Buddhist sutras (depending on your religion), spiritual books, theological, yoga literature, etc. will also work. Even if you do not adhere to any particular religious direction or "believe in your soul", without following special rituals and rules, still prepare something "spiritual". But if you are a principled opponent of religion and you are more attracted to science, it's okay - you can find scientific and popular science literature, textbooks, collections of lectures, encyclopedias, dictionaries, and so on. It is also very good to prepare something philosophical, medical and / or legal: you can lay out the Constitution or collections of laws, a medical atlas, some serious books on economics, quantum mechanics or the problems of being. You must understand that your child will not read this (at least for now), he just needs to be given the opportunity to CHOOSE. The less beautiful and bright pictures on the covers of these books, so much the better (which is why it is not recommended to give children's books), believe me, if a person is destined to choose books, he will choose them, even if nothing is drawn on them. Actually, this is even better: therefore, pay more attention to the importance, seriousness and, oddly enough, the thickness of books than their colorfulness. It is very good if the books are not only thick, but also old. For this purpose, you can even make acquaintances in the library and ask for something from the century before last. It's also a good idea to have the books intended for your experiment already read by someone (you or someone else), which is why library books and antique folios are preferred. Book with history best gift to your baby! However, this is also true for all other groups of objects: they should not be new, but already used by other people - this is an extra guarantee of their "realness". Do not worry if you yourself are not friends with books and last read at school - you are not doing this to yourself, but to your child. You can be a simple laundress or a cleaner, and your son will become a great scientist - such stories are not uncommon (but the opposite situation may also happen - nature often "rests" on the children of intellectuals and artists). That is why it is important to conduct such an experiment! You, as a mother, can fantasize anything in your mind, but you cannot deceive nature.

2. The second group - attention, WEAPONS! Moreover, the weapon must be REAL, this is all very serious! If you slip a cardboard knife or a plastic pistol on your son / grandson, this may further adversely affect his career: he may suffer in a conflict - if he becomes a military man, or go to jail or fly out in disgrace from his post - if he becomes an official. A mother under five "programs" her child in many ways (a father after five), so treat this experiment not as a game. Where you get the REAL WEAPONS is not my problem, I hope you will not have to do anything illegal. Obviously, in our country it is much more difficult for a woman to get a weapon than for a man, but if you do not have a husband or a friend in law enforcement agencies, try to do it somehow, otherwise the experiment will not be counted. It immediately comes to mind to buy a spray can, a knife, an "injury", or even a "Saiga" in the nearest weapons or hunting store. And this is really an option, but only if you do not take into account that weapons, like books, should also not be new. But I understand the complexity of the task, therefore, in the absence of real, military weapons, a new, purchased one will also go. But God forbid, do not replace hunting or throwing knives with kitchen and penknives! A kitchen knife (even a professional, "restaurant") knife is a TOOL, not a weapon, and it belongs to the fifth category, not the second. Do not deceive yourself or your child!
!!! VERY IMPORTANT - TAKE CARE OF SAFETY!!! I didn't write this sentence for nothing. capital letters, placed at the beginning of a new paragraph and framed exclamation points- after all, you have to solve a difficult task: a real weapon that you will offer your to a small child, at the same time should not harm him. Therefore, concern for his safety, as well as the search for weapons, are your problems. In the case of firearms, gas and traumatic weapons, be sure to remove all ammunition from magazines, clips and chambers, put all “barrels” on fuses, loosen all strikers and springs and in every possible way secure the possibility of accidental operation - but it is best to entrust this matter to a professional. In the case of edged weapons, all sharp blades must be forcibly blunted and ground. You might think that in this case it would be better to keep pistols in holsters and swords and daggers in sheaths, but this is not better, believe me - because if your son chooses a weapon, he will highly likely wants to take a closer look. And in this case, you need to disarm the barrels and dull the blades - then the weapon will be both real and safe for your child at the same time. You should also understand the meaning of this experiment - if your son chooses a weapon, he will approach him and take it in his hands, but he will not shoot a pistol at all, wave a saber, throw a knife and twist nunchucks. If you take care of safety and keep a close eye on everything, then the likelihood of injury is minimal. But the weapon must be real (as well as books and all other items), there's nothing to be done - unless you want your child to live a fake life.

At the beginning of this section, it was said that according to this ancient test for little boys, you need to have not five, but four groups of objects. Where is the "extra link"? And right here - in the third paragraph. But since we decided to separate creative people into a separate social and psychophysical group, we hope that you will forgive us for this slight digression from the "canon".
3. So, in the third pile you should put musical instruments: a flute, a guitar, a drum, a harmonica, a bell - in general, not very bulky items (you should not drag the piano into the room). And something else for painters: paints, brushes, a frame and a canvas. You can also use a camera (preferably an old one - film), film and photographic film, vintage postcards, a jar of ink (tighten it well!), fountain pen, and if you're lucky - then a goose feather. Suddenly your son / grandson / nephew could become the new Leo Tolstoy, Raphael, George Harrison or Federico Fellini, and you necessary items If it doesn't, it'll be a shame!
To be honest, musical instruments should be placed in the 5th group, and tools for drawing and writing - in the first, but since we place creative people in a separate sphere, we will leave their objects to them.

4. Further a little easier - you must prepare the money. Not necessarily a lot: you don’t have to fill a sports bag and a photocopier box with banknotes. But they (money), like everything else in this unusual experiment, must be real. If possible, you can get a currency - in this case, if your child chooses money, he will grow up not just a businessman, but will also work in foreign markets. As with books, it's a good idea to have old money, especially coins. Finding used money is not difficult, you can also borrow from collectors for the duration of the experiment or buy at souvenir shops old banknotes and coins. But with jewelry it will be more difficult! But try to solve this problem as well: it is very good to have (at least for the duration of the experiment) gold and silver bars and coins, Jewelry from REAL metals and precious stones(jewelry and cubic zirkonia instead of diamonds will not "fail"). With jewelry and coins, there may be one problem for your child: children love to put everything in their mouths, and small “things” are so special! And one more for you personally: earrings, valuable coins, scattered pearls and diamonds can easily roll if a child suddenly decides to play with them a little. Therefore, carefully monitor the hands of your child, but in no case do not scold him, no matter what happens - it is unacceptable to scold children under five years old! It is desirable to enclose the room for the experiment with a kind of barrier in a circle so that nothing rolls anywhere. Along with money and jewelry, you can also put electronic money - bank and credit cards(only "charged" and valid), as well as accounting tools: calculators, portable cash registers, desktop terminals for bank cards, you can even old scores - in a word, everything related to money, prosperity and the real economy.

5. And last group items (but according to statistics, the most frequently "triggered", so give this item Special attention!) - these are the tools used by workers: a hammer, a saw, an ax, a screwdriver, a wrench, a small spade, a chisel, a construction trowel, a soldering iron, and so on. There we will also include kitchen items used by cooks: a rolling pin, a ladle and the previously mentioned kitchen knife. And also hairdressing and tailor's scissors, knitting needles, a broom, a rag or a small whisk, some spare part from a car, a wooden block and a metal blank. Since among these objects there can also be a lot of sharp, cutting, piercing and small ones, then, as in paragraph 2, keep an eye on your child: so that he doesn’t cut himself, don’t accidentally pierce something, put it in his mouth, don’t roll it under the sofa etc. And just as in paragraph 2, protect it from possible injuries: grind all sharp details and tools, do not put anything particularly heavy in front of it (so as not to drop it on your foot) and limit the place of the experiment with a barrier approximately to the waist of your baby.

Now I will ask you to go over all five points of this section and think about what you can really get / buy / ask for from this, and what is more difficult? There are two points to consider here:
1) you do not have much time, and you need to prepare in a few months, a maximum of a year. This experiment loses its accuracy after three and a half years of a child's life, and after four there is little chance of really finding out anything.
2) no need to drag everything into the house - the above list is redundant. You don't have to turn your residence into a hardware store, armory, music studio, and library—be smart.
Therefore, of everything that you have, what you have accumulated, bought and begged for, leave the most valuable, but it must be REAL, "adult" items - not toys or dummies.

Next, you need to prepare the room where the action will take place: first, wash and ventilate it, and also arrange all 5 piles in a circle. You can put it on rugs on the floor, but it’s better on low tables or stools - they should be exactly the same (so that the child is not distracted by the location of objects), and about the height of your baby’s chest (so that he makes a conscious effort and clearly indicates to everyone, what he wants). By the way, you can break it all down mentally, roughly outline where everything will be, and first do it alone, without people. During the test, the child must stand in the center of the room, around him at the same distance lie 5 heaps of various objects: books, weapons, musical instruments, money and work tools. The space is limited by a barrier about the height of the child's waist, so that he does not roll up any small items, and on the other hand, he did not leave or run away during the experiment. All spectators, including parents, are behind the barrier, sit and stand quietly, do not make noise or talk, do not interfere in any way, do not prompt or hint to the child where he needs to go. No matter how long the selection process takes, the boy must make it himself, and everyone else must wait patiently. Adults can show all emotions only at the end of the experiment, not earlier. The room should be spacious, clean and ventilated, it must have clean washed windows, from which sunlight. You should not conduct the experiment in the basement, in the garage, bathhouse, toilet, attic or closet, in a dirty and untidy apartment, on the street and in the presence of people who do not know your child. The room for the duration of the experiment should not have a lot of extra things, carpets on the walls, curtains on the windows, the room should not be cluttered and heavily cluttered with furniture, no garbage and the presence of pets (with the exception of aquarium fish). Windows can be open or closed, but no unfavorable sounds should be heard from the street: crying, screaming, howling, whistling, creaking, swearing (especially swearing!), next to the house no one should beat anyone, listen to loud music, yell and drink alcohol. All the guests gathered, relatives, acquaintances, as well as the parents themselves, during the experiment should behave quietly, do not chat, do not chew, do not smoke indoors, be calm, ABSOLUTELY SOBER and healthy, not excited or depressed, radiate joy and optimism, the mother of the child should not have a monthly discharge that day. Filming is allowed, but it is better to put the camera on a tripod or stand in advance so that the child is not distracted by all this. It is absolutely not necessary to call all the neighbors and friends - for a child, the fewer strangers, the better. And then people can show the recorded video. Loud music is not allowed either in the room itself or behind the wall: chanson (songs about prison), rap, hard rock and heavy metal are especially unfavorable. If you really need music, and you can’t do without it, then turn on the lounge, instrumental, new age, chillout or classical, but very quietly. This test should be carried out during the day in good clear weather.
So, the child is placed in the center of the room, around him at the same distance lie 5 heaps of various objects listed above, and he must choose one of them. He makes this choice purely intuitively, showing you which of the five classes of people he will become (more on that in the next section). This is very important choice, both for the child and for his parents, so take it seriously! This choice is very accurate (approximately 90% accurate for at least his first 25 years) and often for life. More accurate information about his future fate, vocation, education, wife, financial condition and life expectancy can be obtained from his signs and lines on the palms and feet, but now there are few such specialists, while the above experiment is easy to conduct, and the child CAM shows you who he will become. I remind you once again that for the purity of the experiment, none of the observers (including parents) should say anything, point anywhere, clap their hands and distract the child in every possible way - he will have the first serious choice in life, do not interfere with him, please! If he has chosen dangerous items - knives, screwdrivers, pistols, scissors, etc. - watch him carefully, be ready to immediately come to the rescue in case of something, but do not interfere with your child in his choice, do not distract or switch his attention. Usually the time of the experiment lasts from 5 to 7 minutes (preparation is much longer), but it happens that up to half an hour - the child just sits still and does not go anywhere. Wait for his clear choice, don't get angry and be patient. It is best for the child to explicitly choose one of the five options, go to the appropriate stool and take some object from it in his hands - this will be the best. However, it happens that he just looks and does not take anything, or he takes it and quickly throws it back - in this case, his mood will be changeable, he will “look for himself” in adulthood for a long time and will not immediately understand what he should do.
Usually a child fits only one of the five heaps, but this is not always the case - the author of these lines was told about a great man who, in early childhood, his parents conducted such an experiment. So, first the boy went to the table with money and jewelry and looked at them for a very long time, then he took the coins and beads in his hands, looked at his parents and smiled at them. But the parents were not particularly happy, as they expected a different fate for their baby. Then the boy threw the coins and ornaments back on the table, turned and walked quickly to another table where the sacred books were laid out. Taking one of them, he immediately pressed it to his heart, and seemed completely happy. The parents almost cried with joy and clapped their hands. Tellingly, this boy did not even look at the hammers or weapons. As you might guess, his life completely repeated this experiment, carried out in deep childhood: at first he was a successful businessman and earned a lot of money, later he went bankrupt and became an equally successful preacher (and, characteristically, earned more more money, although he spent little on himself). In general, conduct such an experiment yourself and look at the result - your child! It is not only necessary to perform this ritual several times, until you like the choice of your son, otherwise he himself will not know his destiny and will suffer for 30 years of his life. It should be understood that no one promises a 100% result, but if you do everything as described in these recommendations, then 9 out of 10 that your son will follow the path that he indicated to you. A separate story - if, God forbid, he becomes a criminal, a dictator or dies at a young age. Usually, for such categories of citizens, such experiments are not carried out, and in general, everything is bad with their childhood and parental love. However, if something like this suddenly happens, then in this case the test will also show its effectiveness - in the first two cases, the child will try to cause some kind of physical pain to people around him, and in case of early death, he will definitely cut or injure himself. If an accident occurs with your boy during the experiment, this is an alarming sign for you, and you should especially monitor it. But don't become a crazy mom and make your son's life hell - you should use unobtrusive, "soft" controls (as described in the next section in point 5). In any case, the result of this test is a good help to young responsible parents who are thinking about raising their child. We will talk more about parenting in the next section.
And here, in the end, let's say that a ninety percent prediction is a very good result that will not provide you with any child psychologist. Since our psychologists do not know anything about this division of people into 5 main classes, they do not know about the qualities of these people, how they need to be trained and educated, and they have no idea about such experiments. Their tests are primitive and often ignorant, they divide people only by sex and age, and this is extremely simplified approach. Therefore, child psychologists, educators, nannies, teachers and, of course, young parents need to get real, complete knowledge and successfully apply it in their lives. Only then will we stop "tormenting" with our children, and will begin to love, appreciate and respect them, and our children will repay us with the same coin and begin to show their natural inclinations. And only in this case peace and harmony will appear in the world!

Application

There will not be many words and sentences in this section, but all of them will be extremely important and mandatory for use. After all, this section is the most practical of all in this article! AT previous section we have long described a rather curious experiment, but it is up to you to decide whether to conduct it, but there is no place for experiments and doubts, all this is highly desirable to perform for the benefit of both your child and you - his parents. If you don’t want to do anything, then there’s no point in even reading this article! Therefore, starting with the next paragraph, all the words are very important, and like the army regulations, they are specific, binding and it is impossible to remove a single word so as not to lose the whole meaning of the sentence.

The point is not even to "develop" some qualities, they ALREADY exist and will develop where necessary, the main thing is not to interfere with a person being himself. The essence of all education is to control the excess and mitigate the side effects. So, for example, an excess of physical strength leads to aggressiveness, and an excess of thrift and frugality leads to greed, etc. Therefore, the task of parents and teachers is to ensure that there are no distortions, and a person develops harmoniously.

Now for the points.

1. "Scientist". You need to enroll him in an early development school (the sooner the better) and read-read-read. He tortures you with his questions, so it’s better to buy smart books right away. You can study anything with him quantum physics- captures everything. Side effects: a sedentary sedentary lifestyle, rare communication with peers, with girls - also in no way (especially in adolescence it will be disturbing). You need to take him out for a walk, he won't go anywhere on his own. An overabundance of knowledge leads to pride (“woe from wit!”), your boy will think that everyone around is fools, and he is the only smart one, there is no one to talk to. And it will become more and more isolated. The cure is the need to share knowledge. It is not enough to study and understand something yourself, you have to explain it to others. DEFINITELY make him tell EVERYTHING he has read and learned.

2. "Warrior". Sports are out of the question. The main thing is to find a good coach, so that he is both a professional and loves the boys. If you don't want your son to be a dumb jock, put him in martial arts- there, in addition to strength and endurance, spiritual and moral qualities are also developed. Side effects: anger, irritability, impatience, a tendency to rash acts, involuntarily offends people, especially girls (not physically, but mentally). There must be someone wise, experienced and patient nearby - they will not listen to others. An excess of power is a propensity for violence, an excess of power is a propensity to manipulate people and "walk on their heads." Be sure to watch for these symptoms and stop them right there (for example, bullying insects and pets is a warning sign). It is necessary to explain to the child that he takes care of the younger ones and protects the weak. It should be understood that scolding and punishing such a child is useless, he himself will scold and spank anyone you want. The only approach is to appeal to his nobility. Such boys know what shame, disgrace and honor are from birth, they do not need to be taught these concepts. If you explain to your son that he behaved unworthily and people suffered through his fault, he will be offended for a week, will not eat or talk for two days, but there is no other way to reach his heart.

3. "Artist". Write him down in some creative circle (the sooner the better - talents need to be developed from birth), and it doesn’t matter which one - he’ll figure it out along the way, besides, creative people have a variety of talents. "Artist" is the most difficult case for his family. You will have to endure all his whims, mood swings, depression and creative crises. Patience will require angelic! Let him show all his creative achievements in front of you, do not be shy. Mom is the best spectator. Just do not always praise him, if you see a "jamb", immediately notice - it's better you criticize him in home environment than he then screwed up in front of the public. Side effects for any creative people: restlessness, an overflow of emotions, a penchant for adventure, starting various projects that he cannot complete, passion, a feeling that no one loves or appreciates him. You will need to constantly inspire him and involve him in creative work(because one talent is not enough, one must study and train), if he has a decadent mood. And, on the contrary, to restrain and extinguish his emotions, if he is full of enthusiasm and ready to love the whole world (so as not to "break wood" in such a state). Successful creativity leads to fame, and an overabundance of fame leads to pride and "star disease". If you notice such signs, then explain to the child that his talent is from God, and he owes all his achievements to his teachers. Let's not be proud.

4. "Merchant". The perfect helper around the house. Teach him the simplest housekeeping things: clean up, cook, take out the trash, go to the store, wash the dishes. The criterion for such a boy is that his toys are never scattered, and he prefers order in everything. With him you can go to work from childhood. The ideal place of work for him is trade. There is no point in developing him especially - he has practicality from birth, and he will never become a scientist. You can only give him general knowledge. Don't worry if he gets an A in school - many successful businessmen weren't straight A's. Accept that studying is not his element, and do not scold strongly for bad grades. Traveling will be the ideal pastime for him. Earn, borrow or beg - get money anywhere - and travel with him until all finances run out - this will give him a lot in life. Very good experience for him there will be a stay in the village - but not on vacation, he must actively help with the housework: mow, weed, graze cows, etc. You can entrust him with housekeeping. Also, such a boy should have his OWN household project, come up with something for him. There is only one side effect (but what a side effect!) - a tendency to deceive. Moreover, it is incredibly difficult to deceive him himself, do not even try. Too much practicality is greed. You need to constantly remind him that everything in this world is for everyone, so you need to take only what you need in this moment, and do not claim the rest, do not need to accumulate anything. Having brothers and sisters is a good cure for greed, by sharing with them your son will develop his generosity. You must know the basic formula of education: " best advice- this is your own example, "you can’t teach anyone anything with words alone. Therefore, if you - parents - are eaten up by greed and a passion for hoarding, then it is useless to scold a child for this.

5. "Worker". The so-called "ordinary person", of which the majority in the world. If your child is like that, rejoice - there will be no special problems and troubles with him. He must be taught to do something with his hands, especially since his hands grow from where they need to, and it’s stupid not to use it. Find a locksmith, turner, auto mechanic or electronics engineer and ask him to teach your son something simple, or at least let him just watch. Professional men terribly do not like it when boys climb into their work, so you have to persuade, but it's worth it. If this option is not foreseen, teach him how to cook - such boys become good cooks. You can go to work with him from childhood if the work is related to production (including food). The best birthday present for such a son is a visit to a car service. If you have a car mechanic friend, he will become best friend your boy. Such children study at school in different ways, but most often in an average way, i.e. neither good nor bad. Do not strive for him to get a higher education - you will lose money, and your child will lose time, and studying at a university will not do him any good. It is better to let him master a specific profession in a technical school. Look on the Internet to see how much, for example, bulldozer operators earn. A skilled worker in our time is more valuable than any lawyer / economist, regardless of whether the economic crisis is in the yard or not. side effects There are quite a lot of such character traits, and almost all of them are associated with a low level of intelligence. So it is very important that someone adult, experienced and reasonable is next to him. The good news is that he will listen to such a person, and the bad news is that he will listen to everyone in general, even those who are not worth listening to. Therefore, you should always know with whom he communicates. You do not need to stand behind him, but you must know his friends. Including his friends girls - you know what girls are now ... VERY IMPORTANT for him - to earn the first money in childhood, this will greatly inspire him for life. If he has an acquaintance girl older and more experienced than him, do not worry - she will look after him, you will have less worries, and for your son it will be perfect option. Such people do not have an overabundance of qualities, rather the opposite - a lack of zeal gives rise to laziness, gluttony, drowsiness, and in adulthood such an unpleasant thing as drunkenness. Encourage him to learn and practice—even with his natural ability, nothing comes easy.

Points 2. and 5. MANDATORY require male participation. It won't hurt everyone else either, but "Warrior" and "Worker" just need to male influence and upbringing. Otherwise, nothing will work. So if your child shows the appropriate qualities and inclinations, and you live without a husband, then you urgently need to get acquainted with some uncle.

Conclusion

This is a very authoritative and practical knowledge that can be used in our time. I did not invent anything, I just compiled and stated it intelligibly. I wish your sons to grow up as worthy citizens of their country!

Every parent always strives to raise their children to be very obedient, to instill in them good manners. And that everything in their life turned out very well. After all, their life in the future will depend on how they educate and instill manners.
The first thing you need to bring up in children, I think is honesty. How much a child will be honest and open to his parents, so he will be honest to others. And parents in the future will not have to blush for him and for his lies. So honesty is the most important thing.
The second is respect for elders. A child from an early age should understand that you need to respect elders. As parents instill respect for themselves, so he will treat other people. If the kid is rude to his parents and shows character, then he will behave in the same way in kindergarten and at school, and indeed with strangers. In the future, this will have a very bad effect on his life and communication with the people around him.
The third is obedience. The child must be obedient. Of course, you can sometimes allow the child to indulge a little, but it is necessary to educate him. In order not to blush for him later in a crowded place, also in the garden and at school. And then sometimes you look at the children how they indulge, and the parents get away with everything. After all, pampering can lead to bad things. Therefore, it is always necessary to have conversations with the child on the topic of what can and cannot be done. That you must obey your parents, otherwise something bad may happen.
The fourth is kindness to the world around him. It is worth making sure that the child is kind, not embittered. To do this, try to forget about the negative and educate him in a favorable area. Try to instill kindness towards animals so that in the future the child does not mock animals. For example, my husband was not instilled with kindness to animals. And when we took the dog into the house, and this was my initiative, he treated her with negativity. It took me a lot of work to fix this. Constant explanations and joint games with the animal, husband, me and my daughter got the better of anger. Now he does not have a soul in her. Therefore, try to do everything possible to prevent this from an early age.
Fifth is a sense of humor. Have more fun so that your child does not know sadness and so that he laughs more. Then his life will become much more fun and colorful.

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