Fitness and healthy lifestyle 

How to become an influential person. Working on inner strength: how to be a bossy woman

Authority is a delicate matter. A person who has respect has “privileges” for many things, for example, for mistakes. A person who does not have authority, or does not use it, has no right to make a mistake. Therefore, if the bosses are the real authority for subordinates, then they do not make mistakes at all. This is how the authoritative management subjectively perceives the personnel. We ask ourselves the question - what to do to be just such a boss?

Authority- a property (skill) of a person, which determines his ability to influence the opinions, beliefs and behavior of people around him. The basis of authority is respect, reverence, conviction in the correctness of the actions of an authoritative person. If the level of authority is high, the influence is significant, if it is low, it is insignificant.

Supervisor- the one who determines the work of other people within the framework of the authority and competence given to him.

Authoritative leader- is respected, has the ability to influence decisions, beliefs, opinions, others. Carries out management, combining administrative methods and the power of his authority.

After the definitions have been given, it is correct to talk about ways to increase authority.

1. Personal - the creation of a well-founded conviction among subordinates in the positive and strong personality traits of the leader. Such as:

    Active leader position... Remove from the vocabulary the words and expressions of the victim, for example: “I have to, I have to, it happened, I didn’t succeed ...” Victims of circumstances are not authoritative. Track your speech - both written and spoken. Here is an example of the phrase: "the leader is always in an active position." Everything is fine? If so, then you are not quite a leader yet. Pay attention: "the leader is located." Costs. What, someone put it there? And he obediently obeyed? More precisely and more strongly, one can formulate: "the leader puts himself in an active position." From such seemingly trifles, an authoritative personal quality is formed - the leadership of the leader.

    Confidence... It is formed and perceived by others from the form of expression of their thoughts, business communication. rules confident communication... - Stop forgiving - start suggesting where there is such an opportunity. You can ask when it is known in advance that the other person will happily fulfill the request, otherwise why? If you offer, then it should be an offer that cannot be refused.
    - Replace the word "must" with the word "I want", sometimes it is more correct - "I require." The word "must" is impersonal and not specific. Compare: “it is necessary to conclude more contracts"And" I demand that you make more contracts. " In the first case, “it is necessary” is a sign of uncertainty, in other words: “excuse me for asking, it’s just necessary”. In the second case, it is a confident demand.
    - Replacing a request with a statement. Requests in business communication acceptable, but confident man, more often, to feel the importance of what has been said, makes statements. For example: "Could you bring me a report?" and another option: "I need your report, please bring it."
    - Do not seek approval, judge yourself. Limit the use of phrases seeking approval. "Do you understand what I mean?" or "all right, right?" - when you ask that, you are, in fact, begging for approval. And the authoritative leader does not need this at all. You have to be sure of what you say.

    Responsibility, discipline and dedication... They say about such leaders: “if you say something, it will definitely be so”. I promised - I did. Gave an assignment - asked for execution. I set a goal - I got a result. Authority grows with every confirmation of correctness the decision, achievement of the set goal.

    Emotional resilience... The leader should not be subject to uncontrollable emotions, he needs to be able to set himself up for work and easily create the atmosphere around him that is necessary for work. Let me give you all familiar situations. Morning meeting. The boss screams, his face is red, distorted by righteous anger, he can hardly find words that replace the Russian language that everyone understands. Employees listen, not because they like it, but because their salary depends on the manager. But inside, response emotions are born, there are words that inner voice speaks without any censorship, since they will not be spoken out loud. As a result, negatively emotionally charged employees go to clients and throw out all the contents of their spiritual basement in the form of emotions on them. Customers are unhappy, they are outraged, so emotionally they convey their outrage at poor service to that very boss. Emotional resilience is the quality of an authoritative leader.

    External attributes of the position(demonstration of power).
    - Nice study.
    - Technical equipment.
    - The presence of a company car.
    - Limiting the reception of visitors.
    - Awards, diplomas, distinctions.
    - High material assessment of a person in this position.

    Official powers of the head- the amount of rights that is necessary for the successful management of subordinates. The higher the powers and the ability to use them, the higher the authority of the position, and, consequently, of the leader. It should be noted here that the presence of a "respected" position is not a sufficient condition for the authority of a leader, but only necessary.

    Large amount of knowledge on all questions arising in the course of work.

    An experience- learned abilities, skills, abilities. The manager must have personal experience solving professional problems.

    Quick understanding of questions subordinates and the ability to respond to them correctly.

One of the key points in the formation of an opinion about a leader among subordinates is orders, instructions. Often, opinions are formed in people on emotional level, therefore, effective management is not just the transfer of information from a manager to a subordinate. This is a system of emotional, verbal, motivational influence, which forms in people a belief about the authority of the boss, his competence.

Each order should be another step towards increasing authority.

Attracting the attention of a subordinate. Usually, in companies with a good corporate culture, a scheme for calling a subordinate to a manager has been worked out. This can be a call through a secretary, assistant, at the selector, using a local network, by phone, etc. The main thing is that the subordinate has a clear understanding - his name is in certain time and place to guide. This means that you need to get distracted from current affairs and turn your attention to the upcoming communication with the leader. Most likely, attracting attention should be accompanied by calm, businesslike, firm intonations. In some cases, to highlight the significance of the upcoming conversation, emotions that convey seriousness, urgency, the need for a meeting, for example, a slight anxiety on the face, a quick voice, can be useful, short phrases... Accordingly, these emotions can only make sense when a boss personally addresses a subordinate. If the call follows through the secretary, then a direct emotional impact is impossible.

Demonstration of authority. Quickly directs the employee to comply with the chain of command and other corporate etiquette established in the organization, and, just in case, reminds where he is and about his duties. As a rule, the office of the leader and the situation in it testifies to his capabilities and powers of authority. Better and larger table, more chairs, etc. In addition, power of authority can be demonstrated by voice, emotions. For example, a friendly instruction: "come in - sit down" may be benevolent in form, but in content it is also an indication of a demonstration of authority. The power is with the one who gives the orders.

Indication of a form of behavior on this moment... For example, "write down what I am going to say" or "there is an important task, I will formulate it, and you listen, note what is not clear, then ask a question." Emotions - business cooperation, care, interest.
General formulation of the problem. This is a statement of any facts, circumstances, events. Maybe a message to an employee of previously unknown information. The problem is presented in a businesslike, calm tone, if there are no special tasks to exert an emotional impact on a person. If it is necessary to influence at this stage of giving orders, for example, to show the seriousness of the problem, then some dramatization of the transmitted information is possible, accompanied by excitement, concern, urgency.

Formulation of the problem. It is possible to solve the problem, but it is better to solve the problem, so the manager should not pose problems to his subordinates, but tasks. The wording should be clear. What the employee needs to do in relation to the problem outlined. It is useful to speak firmly about a task, expressing confidence in the possibility of its solution.

Specifying the task step by step. If the task is large, then it is correct to give instructions on what specific steps need to be taken to solve it.

Designation of the time allotted for solving the problem. There are people who are time-oriented, they clearly understand how many days, hours, minutes they will need for a certain job. Other people are process oriented, they will solve the problem without considering how much time it takes. It may so happen that the result will not be needed, because it is too late. The task of the manager is to establish and agree on a time frame for solving the problem.

Warning about possible mistakes... The manager knows more, so it is better to immediately warn of possible obvious mistakes that a subordinate can make in the course of completing the assigned task. It is better to talk about possible mistakes, showing concern, attention and focus not on the qualities of a subordinate, which can lead to the indicated mistakes, but on some objective circumstances, without taking into account which the task can become more complicated. This is important for two reasons, firstly, to optimize work, and secondly, to motivate the employee, because speaking openly about possible difficulties, the leader shows, on the one hand, the complexity of the task, on the other hand, trust in the subordinate, who will be able to cope with all the difficulties.

Motivation by benefit and / and possible negative consequences. In other words, what will the employee get by following the order, or what will he lose if he does not cope with the task. It is important to accompany positive motivation with emotions of joy, success, pleasure, and Negative consequences present, accompanying with emotions of disappointment, regret, sadness. Depending on the specific subordinate, you can limit yourself to only positive motivation, or only negative, since the manager should know what is most effective for the employee.

Completion with a positive, motivation "first step". When the subordinate understands the task, it is important to end the conversation with a positive one. It can be gratitude for cooperation, confidence that everything will turn out the most the best way, since the performer is an intelligent, professional, competent, promising person. Emotional uplift, inspiration from communication, confidence in success will be very appropriate. In conclusion, it is useful to ask what the subordinate will do to achieve the assigned task in the first place, to approve this decision, to end the conversation with an emotional parting word: “Go ahead, everything will work out!”.

V practical application the sequence of giving an effective order by the head to the subordinate can be changed depending on the specific circumstances, for example, the presence of high motivation in the subordinate, then there is no need to spend a lot of effort on additional positive attitude, everything is good in moderation.

Many executives have difficulty articulating positive statements (after all, - approx. TokaDoka). It so happens that the negative is born on its own, easy and simple, but reformulating it in the opposite direction can be difficult. Therefore, it is helpful to learn the rules for making positive statements.

    Use short, energetic phrases... They are better remembered as slogans. Energy gives them weight. Emotions of confidence, calmness, significance, make the phrase convincing.

    Speak in the present and future tense, all actions in speech should take place now, aimed at a successful and attractive future. The past tense directs attention to the past. Better to talk about what is and what will be.

    Using positive language... Talk about what to do, not what to avoid. For example, “don’t put no real goals", It is better to say:" we need to set real goals. "

    Use beautiful images , the words should be pleasant. Create attractive images... As in the film "12 chairs" Ostap Bender painted a picture of the great chess city to the residents of "New Vasyukov". But why can't we talk about real projects in an attractive way?

Authority a leader in a rapidly changing modern world cannot be earned once and for all. For a while, you can use it, but at the same time you need to constantly develop, learn, confirm your right to be an authority in the eyes of your subordinates.

"He who does not go forward, he goes back: there is no standing position." V.G. Belinsky

Pichugin V.G.

Title, note and emphasis from TokaDok

John Maxwell, Jim Dornan

How to become an influential person.

How to positively impact people's lives

Foreword

When, a few years ago, we met, we immediately felt a huge attraction to each other. We almost felt like brothers. We had a lot in common, despite the fact that everyone was engaged different activities... Jim has been in the business community for the past 30 years, teaching people how to be successful. During this time, he founded a world famous organization. John has worked for a non-profit organization for the past 28 years. He is a pastor, spiritual leader, and speaker. In the United States, he is recognized as one of those who make a major contribution to the development of principles of leadership and spiritual growth.

Join us and keep reading this book. We will give you a lot of advice, we will tell you entertaining and educational stories, we will share amazing ideas that will help change your life, as well as the lives of all the people you will influence.

Acknowledgments

There are special people in our life whose help and support helped to write this book.

Thanks to Margaret Maxwell, whose support has helped her husband become an influential person.

Thank you Nancy Dornan for her incredible ability to influence her husband, family and hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

Thanks to Mia Brink, her ideas and help helped to develop this project.

Thanks to Stephanie Wheetzel for editing the book and proofreading.

Thanks to Linda Eggers for huge help that have ever been shown to a man.

Thanks to Charlie Wheatzel, our writer, for collaborating on this book.

Introduction

What did you want to become as a child? Have you dreamed of becoming a famous singer or actor? How about becoming the President of the United States? Or maybe you wanted to become an Olympic champion or the richest man in the world? Everyone has dreams. There is no doubt that you have managed to implement some of them. And it doesn't matter what success you have achieved, because you still have dreams that you want to realize in life. And we, in turn, want to help you make your dreams come true and realize your potential.

Let's start by doing a little experiment. Take a look at the list of people below. Here are the most different people, but they all have something in common. Try to understand: what is it?

JOHN GRICHUM

GEORGE GALLUP

ROBERT E. LEE

Dennis Rodman

JAMES DOBSON

DAN RATHER

HIDEO HOMO

JERRY AND PATTI BEAUMONT

RICH DEVOS

MOTHER THERESA

BETH MYERS

Pablo Picasso

ADOLF GITLER

TIGER WOODS

ANTHONY BONACURSI

ALANIS MORRISETTE

GLENNLETERWOOD

BILL CLINTON

JOHN WESLEY

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

The ability to influence does not appear immediately in a person.

It develops gradually.

Did you manage to understand what is in common between all these people? Of course, it is not their profession that unites them, since the list includes writers and statesmen, athletes and artists, missionaries and dictators, actors and businessmen. This includes both men and women, some are married and some are not, all of different ages... Different ethnic groups and nationalities are represented here. Some of them are famous and you probably know their names. But we are sure that you have never heard of some of them. So what's the key? What do they all have in common? And the answer is: they are all people capable of influencing people.

Everyone has the ability to influence

We have compiled this list at random by placing there like famous people and the people we are familiar with. You can just as easily make your list. We did this to illustrate the following point: everyone has the ability to influence people. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do. A politician, for example, the President of the United States, - a huge impact not only for the lives of hundreds of millions of people in their country, but all over the world. Artists such as Madonna and Arnold Schwarzenegger often influence an entire generation of people in one or more countries. And teachers, for example, Glenn Letterwood, from whom John and hundreds of other boys studied in Sunday school, influence the lives of their students and, indirectly, all people who will be influenced by their students when they grow up.

But in order to influence people, you do not have to engage in public activities that constantly require you to be in sight. In fact, if in life you come into contact with people in any way, then you can influence them. Everything you do - at home, in church, at work, or on the football field - makes an impression on people. American poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "Every person is a hero and an oracle for someone, and everything he says is perceived as an immutable truth."

If you want to be successful and have a positive impact on your world, then you need to learn how to do it. For example, if you are a sales manager and want to sell even more products, then you need to be able to influence buyers. If you are a director of a firm, your success depends on your ability to influence employees. If you are a coach, you will be able to create a winning team if the athletes feel your influence. If you are a pastor, your ability to touch the souls of people and attract more and more parishioners to the church depends on the ability to influence them. If you want you to have a strong healthy family, then we must learn to provide positive influence for children. Whatever goals you set for yourself in life, you can achieve them faster, more effectively, and your contribution will last longer as you learn to influence people.

If in life you in any way come into contact with people, then you can influence them.

A funny story related to the theme of this book happened during the reign of President Calvin Coolidge. President Coolidge had breakfast one morning with a guest who had arrived at the White House the night before. The guest wanted to make on the president good impression... He noticed that when Coolidge was served coffee, he took a cup, poured the coffee into a deep saucer, and then slowly put a lump of sugar in it.

Authority must be earned - to deceive others, flaunting smart phrases and puffing up your cheeks when needed moments will not work. But it is possible and even necessary to speed up the process a little. We encourage recognition of merit so as not to waste years proving the obvious.

Before we begin our discussion, we need to define what it is like to influence others. And what does that mean to you.

Let's define this concept: Influence - the ability of a person or object to be an irresistible force or to produce an effect on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc. of other people.

Influence - to force or persuade (someone) to take any action. John Maxwell, author of many bestselling books, says that "Being a leader means having an impact. No more, no less."

If leadership is influence, then the opposite should also be true. So influence is leadership. Is it so? I would add that influence only turns into leadership when it leads to positive results.

How to become an authority in school

Teens are always drawn to a leader, so become one.

  1. You must have yours principled position, your opinion and ability to make decisions.
  2. Ability to own information that interests peers.
  3. Know how to choose your style of clothing and be sure to follow the fashion.
  4. Very fashionable to lead healthy image life, you can do any kind of sport.
  5. In every situation, show both intelligence and courage, always take responsibility for your words and actions.

How to become an authority for your children

Raising a child is a very complicated and nervous process. If the child does not see authority in you, he will rebel against you. Therefore, we play by the rules:

  1. The most important thing for a child is when he is respected. Try to hear your baby even when it's difficult. Listen to his opinion to the end, weigh everything and consider your decision;
  2. Be sure to talk to your child that you respect him and he must reciprocate with you;
  3. There are rules for everyone. Take them on family council and observe with the whole family;
  4. Each has its own responsibilities, which we remember, honor and fulfill;
  5. Everything free time we spend together with the family. Share your impressions of the time spent. It's very close;
  6. We grow intellectually in the eyes of a child. If you don't know something, you need to read it;
  7. We share the most honest, trust each other with secrets;
  8. The most important thing is to keep your promises, if, of course, you want trust;
  9. We praise our merits and the merits of the child. This will help to understand the significance of the actions of each family member;
  10. We try to solve problems peacefully, find the golden mean;
  11. We observe the punishment. This, of course, depends on the age of the child, but if he is punished, then the punishment must be carried out to the end.

Parents, remember! A child should not respect you just because you gave birth to him; respect must be earned. If you lead an honest, decent and rich life, then the child will transfer all the most beautiful things later to his family. We can say that the upbringing of a child depends on the lifestyle of his parents. Lead the lifestyle that you would like to see in your child.

How to become an authority for your significant other

  • The most important thing is love and understanding. Learn to hear and understand each other, which means you can peacefully resolve conflicts. Conflicts exist in any family and your life depends on how you learn to solve them.
  • Respect the right of the halves to individuality, do not try to remake your spouse to fit your needs.
  • Appreciate the rules and conventions of your family.
  • Spend a lot of time together.
  • Try to give each other all sorts of amenities and especially attention.
  • Praise each other for the good and do not scold each other for the bad.
  • Don't make yourself illusion that someone else is better. This is the best thing you might want.

Well, everything seems to be clear. Everything is accessible and clear. The main thing is not to forget about basic things. With proper observance of these rules, you will always be fine. I wish you to become an authority for everyone. Let the people around you love and understand you!

What is power? Power is potential, strength, power, influence. This is the inner quality of a person who is convinced of the correctness of his path and the chosen goal. You, too, dream of being strong and powerful. Have authority, respect and place in society. Not being a helpless spectator in life, but controlling events, influencing other people, making changes and winning. Here are some qualities that will make you stronger and more powerful.

How to become powerful

1. The power of knowledge

Modern people sometimes underestimate knowledge. But even in ancient times, people said that knowledge is power. The first documented appearance of this statement dates back to the 7th century. In the Arabic book "The Way of Eloquence" by the first Imam of Shia Islam, Imam Ali says: "Knowledge is power, and it can command. A man of knowledge during his life can make people obey and follow him, and is praised and revered after his death. Remember that knowledge is the ruler and wealth is his subordinate. "

Knowledge is power. Knowledge can be a source of power. Become a specialist in your field and take the desired place. Knowledge relates to all areas of life and any aspect of issues. The knowledge layer makes a person more prepared for life. You can become stronger in any area. From public speaking to programming.

2. The power of charisma

Attracting attention, liking and influencing people with charisma. Many people dream of developing the ability to be charismatic.

More expression, emotionality, confidence, passion, friendliness, humor, positivity, activity, leadership.

Charisma is often recognized as the ability to quickly respond to a situation. People who instantly joke and adjust to the situation are considered more charismatic.

3. The power of force

In any situation important factor the power of the interlocutor is lying around. A strong and athletic person is perceived as more powerful. In negotiations in the office and in the alleyway on the street, a person subconsciously considers the one who has wider shoulders and who is stronger as cooler.

4. The power of money

Money solves 90% of the problems that can arise. A rich person, with the help of money, can become more powerful and domineering. He can buy anything and be independent from financial storms. Wealth gives freedom and confidence. Money frees you from fear for the future and allows you to live the way you want.

5. Power of character

Some people get up after being knocked down. What distinguishes them from those who, after a couple of blows of fate, feel helpless, sink and surrender? Character and tenacity. Power of character can pave the way. Get up after each defeat and get down to business with a vengeance. Without character and eggs, there will be nothing.