Ways to make friends. How to make friends good, true and real. Ten Ways to Make New Friends and Keep Old Friends
Friendship is not only for sharing interesting stories over a cup of coffee. Strong ties with people are vital for every person. According to a study by Harvard University, the lack of friendly relations increases the risk of premature death by 50% - the same as if you smoked 15 cigarettes daily.
Talking about your problems and making new friends becomes more difficult with age. But in fact, everything is very simple, you just need to understand what kind of friend you want to find.
Jan Yager, writer
The secret of friendship is simple: you need to be open to her. Here are six tips to help you make new friendships.
1. Be friendly
The first impression largely determines whether a person will continue to communicate with you or not. And the most important thing here is the facial expression. Think of the people you see every day at the store, at the airport, or in line for documents. If a person is frowning, frowning, not smiling, you are unlikely to want to exchange a few words with him. He just doesn't seem friendly, although he may well be.
A good-natured smile or just a polite nod of the head let others know that you are friendly and open to communication.
Another indicator of openness is . Most likely, you have something to tell, but do not forget that friendship is a mutual process, so do not dwell on yourself and listen to the other person with interest. It could very well be the start of a beautiful friendship.
2. Do what you enjoy
The best way to make new friends is to meet the people you have with common interests. If you have a hobby that you usually do alone, think about where you can find like-minded people. Sign up for the sports section, join groups in in social networks, see where people with similar interests gather in your city.
There is nothing easier than starting a conversation about some things with a person who also likes them. When you meet someone with similar interests, exchange contacts and stay in touch.
3. Stay positive
A positive attitude is one of the most important requirements of friendship. It depends on him whether we will feel the desire to spend time with a person or not. Think about whether people like to communicate with you, and decide what you need to work on.
Simple rules: say "thank you", be supportive, ask questions, don't be secretive, smile.
People don't like being around negative people all the time. Researchers have found that when you say good things about someone, people tend to attribute those positive traits and you too. For example, if you tell a colleague that your boss is friendly and attentive person, he will most likely think that you yourself are friendly and attentive. Conversely, if you complain that your boss is a narcissistic jerk, a colleague may notice some of these unpleasant qualities in you.
4. Don't wait for others to make the first move.
You may feel vulnerable when you walk towards another person. But it may turn out that he is even more withdrawn and it is not easy for him to establish contact with a stranger. So just talk. After all, what's the worst thing that can happen to you?
In a relationship, you need to not only take, but also give, help other people. And most of the things that we expect from friendship - trust, reliability, honesty - are built on reciprocity. Find out what others lack, help them, and they can see you as a potential friend.
Don't wait for things to happen by themselves. Be active, invite people over, offer to take a walk, and you'll be surprised how many people want to join you.
5. Keep in touch
Relationships depend on how much time you spend with. So think about how you will keep in touch. For example, before you leave the party, say that you liked everything and it would be nice to repeat, and offer to exchange numbers or add each other on social networks. The next day, you can thank the person for a nice time. Or later invite to a birthday party. Or somewhere else.
Be consistent. Agree, friendship is unlikely to work if you first have a good time, and then do not write or answer for a whole month.
6. Accept invitations even if you don't feel like it.
Those who make friends easily see any invitation as an opportunity to meet interesting people. So even if you don't feel like going anywhere, remember that the meeting can bring you something amazing. Try to get out of the house and meet interesting people.
Navigation for the training “I don’t communicate much (part 1): how to make friends and make people like you?”:
How to find and make friends?
In our modern world, many feel lonely.
Even in a situation where there is a family, good relations with relatives, a person needs something else - the ability to communicate with someone outside the family, to receive new sources vitality and inspiration, to share their joys, successes, sorrows and doubts, to be understandable, or to be able to do together what for some reason cannot be done together with a husband / wife, children or other relatives.
All this is a world of friendship, friendship, communication, the essence of which is the pleasure of communication itself, of joint affairs, common interests and the opportunity to discuss one's life, including personal life.
We sometimes need these “windows to the world” for many reasons - to be able to take a break from the family, to be able to hear some independent opinion on exciting questions to get help in case of difficulty. And perhaps the most important thing: understanding and support is what we can and want to receive in friendship.
However, people often complain about the inability to build their own circle of friends, or at least good friends. Who and what is not to blame for this - disunity modern world, the lack of specific places where you could meet interesting people, your own shyness when meeting, lack of time and a frantic pace.
And yet there are people who can to make friends, given the same amount of time, living in the same world as the rest, with the same rhythm and the same rules. What is their secret? We will try to figure it out with you.
Question " how to make friends” includes a lot - where and how to look for potentially interesting people, how to establish contact, establish a dialogue, how to maintain and develop your friendship. But let's start with the most important thing - with you.
Part 1. "How can I please people?" or I myself as the right filter
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About the author:
There is such a prayer: "Lord, give me the strength to change what I can change, the humility to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other." That is what you are doing in joint work with a psychologist: looking for resources where changes are possible, acceptance and humility where they are not yet possible, and self-awareness to distinguish one from the other. The psychologist acts as a mirror in this work, helping you understand yourself. And the one who can give you strength and everything else is within you.
anonymously
I don't know how to make friends... probably this expression is suitable for teenagers or schoolchildren. I am 20 years old and all my friends, acquaintances themselves began to communicate with me or we got acquainted through friends. Why do I care about this question - because sometimes I am left alone with myself, but I want to communicate with someone, i.e. it doesn’t make sense to make a friend in the full sense of the word, but the point is that I can’t even start a conversation and support it. I study, work, take a great interest in many things, I read books, I don't have any external defects, but at the same time I don't know how to be! A sociable person! In the company I usually keep silent, I listen strangers, with those whom I know I communicate more openly.
Can I clarify: what feelings does the need to be alone with yourself cause? And another question: how do people in companies react to the fact that you listen to them? Do they say anything about your ability to listen? What does it mean to you big circle communication?
anonymously
In general, many people tell me that I can listen and appreciate this quality in me. IN big company I am at a loss - I like to communicate in private, and the accumulation of people, especially whom I know little, does not liberate me at all. About when I'm alone: visit different feelings, sometimes this time is necessary, sometimes I feel sad because I myself can not organize my leisure fun
If I understood correctly, you still know how to communicate - one on one turns out very well. In this case, the question, apparently, is not so much in your inability to make friends, but in the ability to communicate in large companies. For me, communication in large companies has little to do with real, live contact. If such crowded communication is put in opposition to loneliness, the question arises: is this not an attempt to escape from oneself? From a large number fleeting contacts, as a rule, do not become less lonely. But such an illusion is created. And, of course, a person who easily comes into contact, wherever he goes, has a certain high status in his circle: such a light, sociable, cheerful, etc. What he really is, as a rule, few people know. Perhaps he doesn't know it himself. Are you afraid of being branded as a "beech"? Can you dream up why you need the image of such a liberated, sociable person? What does he give? What does it protect from?
anonymously
Buka.. Some friends call me that. Despite the fact that they can call me and I can immediately go somewhere spontaneously, I am skeptical about everything that, so to speak, I need to somehow overcome myself (for example, when it was necessary to dance private at strip courses, it is difficult for me emotionally (need to overcome myself that I am beautiful and move well), there were students like me). And often I don’t want to go for a walk knowing what will happen there big company, and then I'm sad at home that I have an unsaturated life. Maybe because I want to be so sociable, I want my life to become rich, although no one will fix it except me. I just probably want this ostentatious "happiness" talking and lisping with everyone. Or just fill free time so that it seems that life does not pass by
To fill life so that it seems that life does not pass by, will not come out. If it does, it won't be for long. I would suggest that you work on the topic of accepting yourself and, as a result, increasing self-confidence - that's the way you are. I know this is easier said than done. But, nevertheless, it is possible, if desired. Probably, it makes sense for you to be sad, to want to show others that you are happy. Look for him. I think it will become more clear what is happening to you now, and how to deal with it. Good luck to you.
The psychotherapist’s consultation on the topic “I don’t know how to make friends, acquaintances” is given for reference purposes only. Based on the results of the consultation, please consult a doctor, including to identify possible contraindications.
How to make new friends? This question often stands in front of every girl who has stopped communicating with being away from everyone. Previously, she had many friends to communicate with: classmates, classmates, family. Now she is alone in a completely foreign place. How to make friends, psychologists can tell. Still interested? Then we read on.
A well-known "secret" will tell you how to make friends.
This "secret" is the situation. Yes, it is the situation that is the key to acquiring new contacts.
A young girl may find herself isolated from society simply by moving to a new place. She will complain that she has no one to go for a walk with, drink a cup of coffee and just talk .. And let her be waiting for you at home virtual communication, but cats scratch at the heart, as if reminding that real life nothing can replace. This is how life goes, which consists only of work and all sorts of everyday trifles. Of course, everyone wants more out of life. And if you yourself admitted to yourself: "I want by all means!" - listen to the advice of a psychologist in the continuation of the article.
Most often, friendship is the result of a spontaneous clash of personalities. It happens suddenly in certain situation when for a moment different people discover each other similar interests. How to make friends? Just go to some crowded place where a chance new acquaintance can happen.
The saying: "Accidents are not accidental" - fully justifies itself in the search for new friends. This simple truth, which is subject to the understanding of each person.
Chance meetings and acquaintances often turn into wonderful memories that unite people and provide an incentive for further development relations.
The second advice is to be alive, give people joy, and they will not slow you down to return everything a hundredfold. Think positively and find allies.
In "random" situations are easily created. However, now you've graduated from university, and in addition to that, you're also working from home. Like, Question: "How to make friends in such conditions?"
Just show activity and your desire to live and be close to people. Take the first step: invite someone to chat in a cafe, arrange evening gatherings, go to the cinema, restaurant, etc. with the person you like. It is very important to take the initiative yourself, because it is not a fact that someone will approach you first.
After spending some time with a person, you will understand how he breathes, you will know his hobbies and passions, you will be able to share information, and then you will get to know each other so well that you will recognize from a distance by walking. This is true friendship.
New acquaintances, new friends, it is always a lot of impressions and you learn a lot of new things. But here's how to make buddies and friends in an unfamiliar place, how to blend in new company friends? How to become your own among people completely unfamiliar to you before?
For almost every child who enters new class this situation is stressful. It is not easy for children to experience such moments in life. First, the child must find friends.
How to make new friends is what occupies his thoughts. It is understandable, it is more difficult to experience difficulties and joys alone. Here are some tips for a child:
First of all, you need to pay attention to your erudition, you must become interesting person, with you should be interesting and entertaining. Read more books, view informative scientific films, programs.
Make it so that there is something to talk about with you, otherwise it’s probably not interesting to talk with a person who knows nothing and cannot even connect two words.
To make friends at school, try to be natural and cultured, there is nothing good about smoking and drinking among schoolchildren, even if it is fashionable. This is complete nonsense, and whoever does this is just trying to look mature, but in fact it looks more like childish, when he grows up he will puzzle over how to quit smoking.
And by the way, girls don't like kissing people who smoke, they like more guys who are healthy and sports look life. And the one who tries to prove to you that smoking and alcohol is good, he just slows down in his development.
Go in for sports, it will give your body strength and harmony, it will inspire respect among classmates, hooligans will avoid you, and also in sports section you have a chance to make a friend or friends among decent guys who lead a healthy and correct image life.
Try to communicate more with your classmates, learn more about them, be interested in their affairs, think maybe you have common interests, this will bring you closer and help you make new friends.
Try to study well. Not just to make friends at school, but for your future. People who study well in our time achieve a lot in life. For some reason, there is a stereotype in schools that the one who studies well is that "nerd" or something like that, it rather comes from envy and from the illiteracy and narrow-mindedness of those people who say so. Gone are the days when former Losers by force seized the business and became rich people.
Always be decent in everything, and always be fair and honest. Never lie, it is better to evade the answer than to deceive someone.
How to make friends when you're new
This is not such a simple question, someone easily makes new acquaintances, but there are people for whom this is all very difficult and difficult. And there are many situations in which we have to join a new company in our life. This may be a change of residence, moving to another city. It could be new job, with new employees. This may be a new class for the student.
Be always friendly and keep open, smile more often. Try never to cheat or throw words to the wind. Never promise to do what you can't deliver. Don't pretend to be someone you really aren't. Otherwise, sooner or later the whole truth will be in sight, and you will look in the most unfavorable light, and new friends may turn away from you.
Show that you are ready for a new acquaintance, be open. Show interest in the habits and activities of new friends, find out what they are interested in, just do not be too intrusive, if you see that your questions annoy the interlocutors, then it would be better to switch to another topic.
Be friendly and always ready to help, only in this situation you need to notice the line between real help and whim. Because it's possible to go from helper to errand boy, it will lower your reputation with new acquaintances and also lower your self-esteem. Know how to refuse if the requests of new acquaintances run counter to your principles, interests, and do not infringe on your dignity.
Once in a new team, try to strengthen your new acquaintances and support the initiative to go together to some institution. And also feel free to suggest a hike somewhere, take the initiative, so to speak.
To make friends, if you are new, try to force yourself not to be shy, not to be embarrassed, because they are the same people as you, and the only thing that distinguishes them from you is that they have known each other for a long time. You have a goal to get to know them, and you will definitely achieve it.
If you have any talent or ability, or maybe unusual hobby, share it with new friends, only without a tone of superiority, it causes displeasure of others.
How to make new friends with interests
Now in our information age, each of us probably wondered how to make new friends of interest? It's quite simple, if you have your own hobby and a computer connected to the Internet, then finding friends who will share your interests is not at all difficult.
So, let's start with the most important and necessary to make friends:
First you need to choose a hobby, what would you like to do in your free time. Many people like to play sports, for example, and choose tennis, volleyball, football, skiing, badminton, hockey or dancing as their hobby. Or, for example, you like to do needlework or maybe you love nature and want to take care of plants, animals.
In any case, if you want to make new friends, the main task for you is to get out of your apartment and find a person who likes the same as you. Dating in this case can be made quickly and in the future you will have good reason for meeting.
Take a closer look at your neighbors in the porch or yard. You will definitely need to get to know them better. Maybe among them there is someone who shares your interests and it will be a big plus in relationships with people next to whom you have been living for so many years. In any case, it won't hurt.
You can make friends at school or at work. If you study or work with a person for a long time, you can get to know him better. In addition to work and study, there are courses for learning foreign languages, courses for professional development: any training that lasts long time can hold people together for many years. In the future, you can help each other in moving up the career ladder and spend leisure time pleasantly together.
There are many different forums and blogs on the Internet now, and you can write posts on the topic that interests you the most. Even if your interests are very original and exclusive, you can certainly find many sites where people who are equally passionate about the hobby communicate.
To make friends with the same interests, you can communicate only on a forum or blog, exchange experience and knowledge, and then organize a meeting for forum users. I think that it will be very interesting for you to communicate in real non-virtual life, since everyone has already created mental image your interlocutor.
Such friendship will undoubtedly be very strong, you will be able to talk online every day with your friends, often on real meetings there just isn't enough time.