1. Memorize a few basic phrases to start a conversation. You don't have to have world-class conversational skills to have a good conversation with someone. Just remember a few simple questions, which can be used to avoid awkward pauses.

   • Ask a new acquaintance where he is from, how he met yours mutual friend And what do you usually do in your free time?
   • His close friend you can always ask how his work is going, how his family is doing, or what he did interesting last weekend.

2. think ahead possible topics for a conversation. Before heading out to an event, come up with a few ideas to spice up the conversation. This will help with awkward pauses and you won't have to cling to everything. possible words to continue the conversation.

   • It's easiest to talk to people who share your interests in sports or hobbies. AT this case it's very simple - talk about what you're interested in, whether it's yesterday's game or your own new way crochet.
   • If you're talking with co-workers, think about work-related topics, not process-related topics. For example, you might ask, “What do you think of our new dining room?”
   • Breaking news, local events, well-known and popular books and TV shows are always good conversational fallbacks. Avoid talking about politics where people are not in the mood for heated discussion and debate.

3. Avoid flat, short answers. Simple yes/no answers are guaranteed to cause awkward pauses. Therefore, questions that lead to such short answers should also be avoided. If you do have to answer questions of this kind, just add to your answer, and in this way you will be able to keep the conversation afloat. For example, if you are asked if you like sports, don't just answer yes or no. Instead, justify your answer and give a personal example. You can respond with something like, “Yes, I love skiing. I've been skiing since I was a kid, and my favorite family memories are snow-capped peaks. What kinds of sports do you like?”

   • Also avoid so-called conversational traffic jams - answers that, as it were, put an end to the conversation. For example, if you're talking about something funny and the person you're talking to says, "Yes, that was fun," don't respond with simple agreement and laughter. Instead, keep talking. You can say the following: “Yes, of course, it was fun. But definitely not like the last time we dressed up as aliens, remember?”

4. Relieve tension. If you stress too much about the actual process of the conversation, you will most likely be distracted from the very essence of the conversation. Instead, be proactive and answer your interlocutor's questions. Let the conversation take its course. When in doubt, just take a deep breath and relax. The topics you have prepared are only needed to keep the conversation going. If you have moved on to new subjects of discussion, then this is already a success!

   • Sooner or later, each of us faces awkward pauses. Try not to give it of great importance. This will only exacerbate the problem, but will not solve it.

5. Share information gradually. If you blurt out everything at once, then most likely the conversation will not last long. Instead, gradually incorporate information about yourself into the conversation and allow time for your interlocutor to do the same. This will surely prolong your conversation and minimize the number of awkward pauses.

   • If you notice that you have been talking about your work for a while, take a break and ask the interlocutor: “What's new at your work?” This will give both of you the opportunity to contribute equally to the conversation.

6. Be friendly. This will calm your interlocutor and will facilitate the conversation. Remember to smile and be respectful of the other person's words. Accept your interlocutor, this will give him the opportunity to feel much more comfortable in a conversation with you, and thus prolong your conversation. Don't forget to let others have their say. Good conversation depends on all participants, not just one.

   • Confirm what the other person is saying by repeating part of what they said. If you are told about your daughter's illness, you might respond as follows: “I'm sorry to hear that. The cold is the worst. I remember when my son got sick too.” Not only will this help keep the conversation flowing, but it will also show that you are listening and truly sympathize with your interlocutor.

7. End the conversation gracefully. Conversations don't last forever, so there's no shame in ending a conversation. If you often get stuck in meaningless conversations or find it awkward to say goodbye, think of possible phrases that can help with this.

   • For example, if you stumble upon a friend somewhere in public place, you can say: “Hi, Zhenya! You look great. I'm in a bit of a hurry, see you later, okay?”
   • Short conversations on the phone or text: “Okay, I'm glad we discussed everything. See you later!"
   • In the event of a long conversation social event You can always end a conversation using following words: “It was a pleasure to meet you / talk to you again.”

Men who know how to communicate with a girl do it easily and smoothly, as if they were born with skills, and also behave naturally and naturally in the company of women. What can I say, they really deserve admiration. So what is their secret?

Let's look at two main reasons.

1. Past failures or lack of experience

Most men have never attended training on how to communicate with girls, and therefore they do not have enough experience in this area.

In addition, since many guys do not develop communication skills with women, some of the perfect attempts end in a painful refusal and a blow to.

Past failures are carried over into the present, and in order to avoid another repetition of painful experiences, many men stay away from the incessant stream, and.

2. Not knowing what to say to a girl

Many guys find that when they approach a girl, they won't have anything to say to her, or the conversation will quickly turn into an eerie, uncomfortable, and awkward silence.

When you're talking to a girl, you can't rely on a script that goes beyond the first couple of words, because each conversation with the next girl will be different from the previous ones.

Instead of relying on stereotyped patterns that won't hurt at first, you'd better aim to develop the ability to creatively respond to any event that may come up while interacting with a girl.

For some guys, this approach will seem intimidating. But in fact, talking to a girl is the most natural thing in the world, it’s just that men get too hung up on their perfectionism in trying to “talk in the best way.”

How to communicate with a girl

1. Looks Matter

Communication with a girl involves an invasion of her personal space, while acquiring greater value than the words that you play during a conversation usually have.

Even before the girl hears what you are saying to her, she will definitely have time to evaluate your appearance, which will play, albeit not the main one, but still important role in your success or failure.

Therefore, to communicate with a girl more effectively, have a neat and presentable appearance.

2. Pay attention to your clothes

Enter the role of the seller and try to catch the train of his thoughts. If you decide to “sell yourself”, at the very least, you should take care of good packaging.

This does not mean that you should Hollywood star, shimmering on the cover glossy magazine(although, why not), or in without fail purchase expensive clothes before talking to a girl.

Just dress appropriately so you don't look like someone who just got out of bed.

3. Approach to a girl

8. Consider the girl's personal space

Our influence on another person's personal space is often an aspect that we don't give enough attention to.

In this context, overexposure can have a negative effect because girls have hypersensitivity to your personal space.

If you are talking to a girl for the first time and are a stranger to her, stay at a comfortable distance of about two steps from her.

In this case, the girl will feel comfortable, your voice will sound at normal volume, and at the same time you will be able to perfectly see the expression on the face of the interlocutor.

9. Voice volume

If you talk too loudly to a girl, she will get the impression that either you have a hearing problem, or you are too talkative, or something is wrong with your head.

Thanks to communicating with a girl in a too quiet and soft voice, you can appear in front of her in the form of an insecure person and mumbling.

Speak loudly enough without turning into a raised tone, but so that the girl does not have to listen to your words.

10. How to talk to a girl

When it comes to how to talk to a girl, the way you talk will be one of the most important indicators effective communication.

For achievement best results keep communication in a neutral, friendly and confident manner.

When communicating with a girl, show courtesy and good breeding. Obscene words should not be used as a bunch of words.

Many girls pay attention to men's manners.

You don't want to make a bad impression.

11. Using compliments

A good addition to communication, if contact is established and the conversation has a clear development, will be.

Start by complimenting her hair, makeup, clothes, and of course, her intelligence.

Girls love compliments, so it’s a sin not to use them, just don’t overdo it. You don’t need to show your interlocutor that you have a crush on her head over heels, that’s not good.

12. Ask her questions

Ask the girl about her hobbies, find out where she bought such a beautiful bag, ask her about the book she reads or the music she listens to.

Keep in mind that communication should not be translated into an interrogation, so dilute the given ones with your comments and personal stories.

13. Use humor

Women love men with good feeling humor more than just nice guys.

If the ability to joke is your element, be sure to demonstrate your skills.

Avoid dirty jokes, because they are completely inappropriate for a conversation with the person you just met.

But if the joke is really cool, then...

14. End the conversation at the right time

If long pauses filled with silence begin to appear in the conversation, you should take a graceful exit from the communication.

End the conversation at the peak of the conversation, i.e. at the moment when a girl shows genuine interest - good way inform the interlocutor that it is time for you to run away on business, and say goodbye to the girl.

In conclusion

If you don't know how to communicate with a girl, the first conversation can make you feel nervous, but with some preparation and, most importantly, practice, you can become a communication expert.

There are situations when you need to keep up a conversation with a person whom you see for the first time. Not only do you have to somehow start a conversation, but you still need to somehow continue it. It is even worse if you have to conduct a dialogue with an interlocutor who is absolutely not interesting to you. What to do when the conversation, to put it mildly, does not stick?

What I see, I sing about

Look around. What is around you at this moment? Any phrase can become a stick that kindles a fire of conversation: about the design of the room in which you are, about what is happening outside the window, or even the question “what is the password for wi-fi”.

Classic example: “It’s lovely weather today, isn’t it?”. The main thing - and in no case do not complain. When you see a person for the first time, it's not best time to say something negative.

Search for common interests

To be aware of the events taking place in the world means to be able to maintain a conversation with any person. It's a good idea to review the day's or last week's briefings before the meeting.

They will become a real "lifeline" of your conversation. If suddenly there is an awkward pause, you can choose some event and ask the interlocutor's opinion about it. As a last resort - to tell the details and enlighten the same person about what is happening in the world.

Right questions - right answers

You should try to ask such questions that you can get extensive answers to them. Options such as: “what are you fond of” or “what do you do in life” are suitable.

Such questions help a person to focus on a single object. It could be home, work, family, hobbies. The interlocutor feels more relaxed, talking on topics familiar and close to him.

Language will bring to Kyiv

Asking questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” gives you an added advantage. All that is required is to listen carefully to the interlocutor. Since on the basis of the received answer it will be possible to form new leading questions.

Initiative is not punishable

If the "partisan" continues to stubbornly remain silent, it's time to take your own initiative. We begin to bombard the interlocutor with questions in order to find out how more information about him: about his hobbies, interests, outlook, habits.

It's no secret that each of us likes to amuse his ego, so once again beloved is unlikely to refuse. Here are a few good questions: “What books do you read?”, “The Internet resources you most visit?”, “What are your hobbies?”. They will help to learn a lot about a person and bring the conversation out of the pit of silence.

Let's play with facial expressions

Listen to the interlocutor and play along with him. If he's trying to be funny, even if it's not funny, at least smile. There's no need to be wildly enthusiastic if you don't care who won Chelsea or Spartak, but raising your eyebrows a little isn't that hard.

However, this medal also has back side. There are comrades who, as soon as you start listening to them attentively, abruptly change the topic of conversation or even at all. Thus, there may again be an awkward pause.

What to do when all efforts to keep the conversation coming to naught?

There is no chance. You can relax and say with peace of mind given fact phrase a la: "Come on garlic: something the conversation is not going well today." Of course, this is a last resort. But it can work!

Personally, I will take this interesting way note to yourself. And you?

Interjections in English or how to fill in pauses in a conversation with a foreigner?

You are probably familiar with this situation: while communicating with a foreigner, you think over a thought in order to formulate it correctly in another language, and your interlocutor decides that you did not understand his remark or question. Or another situation: you speak very slowly, make long pauses, and it becomes unclear to the interlocutor whether you want to say something else or have already completed your thought.

How to avoid awkward situations in communication?

Most importantly, show with your facial expressions and motor skills that you understood what was said and are going to answer the question. In other words, make a thinking face. In this case, it is better to go too far and overplay, but still show the mental processes going on inside you with facial expressions, rather than stand with a straight face. In the second case, the foreigner will definitely think that you did not understand anything, and communication will be difficult.

While you think and choose the right words, there will be a pause. A long pause in a conversation always creates an unpleasant impression, so it is advisable to somehow fill it. As in Russian, we can use interjections for this.

It doesn't have to be the situation in which you're answering the question. It happens that you yourself tell something, but forget the word. While you remember, there is a pause again. To fill it in, you can use these short inserts:

Native speakers often insert constructions such as:

sort of… or kind of… - translated into Russian as “type”, “kind of like”

Hosts can abbreviate these constructs to colloquial speech before the following kind:

sorta... kinda...

For example:

He's sorta a banker - he's like a banker
I'm kinda busy - well, I'm kinda busy

These are colloquial constructions and, of course, you will not use them in formal speech.

You may also find the following words useful:

right ... - exactly, okay

ok - ok, good

In addition, you may find these phrases helpful:

hold on - wait, wait. If you are using it during telephone conversation, it will mean “do not hang up, wait, hang up”.
let's see - let's think

What if you don't know a word?

There are other reasons why there are awkward pauses during conversation. For example, you may simply not know the word or phrase that your interlocutor uses. There is nothing to worry about, because we live in a world where many new words appear every day, and old ones fall into disuse or acquire new meanings, slang and idioms appear. You can meet a representative old school, who uses some old-fashioned buzzwords, or you have to communicate with a Canadian or Australian from the outback. Agree, dialects can sometimes be very bizarre, including in Russian.

What would be the best way out in this situation? Learn all the words? It sounds attractive, especially if you use the Advance technology, with which you can really learn any number of words. However, this will be a difficult task for another reason. The fact is that some words may fall out of circulation before you have a chance to use them.

Therefore, as soon as you hear a word or phrase that you do not understand or do not fully understand, seize the chance to enrich your vocabulary rather than batting your eyes or looking away. Two simple questions will help you.

What is “...”? - What "..."? (instead of an ellipsis, insert an incomprehensible word)
What does “...” mean? - What means "..."? (instead of an ellipsis, insert an incomprehensible word)

For example, your interlocutor says: “I like jogging in the park". And you don't know what jogging is. In this situation, you should ask: What is jogging? - What is "jogging"?

We do not recommend simply repeating an incomprehensible word with an interrogative intonation: jogging? jogging?! Your interlocutors may think that you just did not hear the word. It's better to ask a question. With rare exceptions, your interlocutors are ready to help you master the language, so they will gladly agree to explain the meaning of the word.

Remember this small list words of live colloquial speech and try to use them during the next conversation in a foreign language. You will notice that the dialogue becomes more lively, real and relaxed.