My husband kicks me out of his apartment all the time. If violence has been committed against you or your child. If the apartment is jointly owned, or registered to the husband during the marriage
Family life- this is a whole science, not everyone manages to master it perfectly. Some people find it incomprehensible how you can get along with a person who has a different view of everyday things that are familiar to you. Disputes on a similar topic most often turn into scandals, and often they end in failure. The wife kicks her husband out of the house. What should a man do in this situation?
Why kicks out?
Every effect has its cause. If the wife kicks out of the house, then she has some reason for this act. Try to understand the woman. Do not take into account the little things, think globally. It is unlikely that your latest quarrel about scattered socks is the real cause of the scandal. Most likely, this was the last straw. Analyze your habits and think about which ones annoy your wife the most. Perhaps the girl cannot stand scattered things or unwashed dishes. Perhaps you do not help your wife with household chores at all. If you can’t find the reason yourself, don’t hesitate to ask the woman for it. If the wife went on principle and does not say what exactly you were guilty of, ask your friends. Sometimes, being in the midst of a scandal, you can not notice the obvious facts. When the cause is found, try to fix it. Yes, you may have to break your character or make concessions, but this must be done in order to save love.
What to do if kicked out?
Men are less emotional beings than women. Therefore, when a wife kicks her husband out of the house, a person believes that this is the end of the relationship. But this may not be the case. The fact is that a woman cannot live in conditions of eternal rest. Everyone needs a dose of adrenaline from time to time. If your wife has no hobbies, and her whole life revolves around home and work, it is not surprising that she will try to tickle her nerves at your expense. Scandals for a woman can become entertainment. And a little carried away by the process, the wife will put you out the door. She may think that you understand her game and therefore in 10 minutes you will return and bring flowers from a nearby store. But expectations don't always match reality. A man can go to a friend, not for flowers. Therefore, if you are kicked out, the first thing to do is try to reconcile. Get into the position of a bored woman and entertain her. Make a beautiful and romantic gesture, after which the wife’s heart will definitely melt.
Is it worth it to keep a family because of a child?
Well, if the wife kicks out of the house not as a joke, but seriously? In this case, you need to leave. Men feel responsible for the family and existing children. Therefore, many fathers do not dare to break off relations with the brawler, fearing that in this case the child will not have a father. It is better to let a child grow up without a father than to listen to scandals every day. Children always believe that for their parents they are the center of the universe. And if mom and dad quarrel, then their sun is to blame. That's what everyone thinks normal child. Don't make your child feel guilty. Do not try to glue relationships that are broken into small parts. Naturally, the child does not need to be abandoned. Explain to the child that mom and dad are having problems, and now they will live separately.
Contact a psychologist
If two adults understand that they love but cannot live together, then they should go to a specialist. Psychological help- this is not a panacea, but it allows you to look at your own life with different eyes. The man may not know true reason why his wife kicked him out of the house. Not everyone knows what to do in such a situation. The psychologist will help the couple to establish a normal and frank dialogue. Sometimes people are afraid to talk heart to heart for the reason that they do not know what their frankness can lead to. If everything is under control, and the psychologist gives green light, not only the causes of today's quarrels can leak out, but also the grievances accumulated during the time of living together. Are you afraid to contact family psychologist because you don't know how your friends will react to it? Believe me, no one cares about your personal problems and how to solve them.
What if there's a divorce?
Does your wife say every day that she can't live with you? Some men believe that this is a kind of way to manipulate their minds. But in fact, it should be understood that in every joke there is some truth. The wife may well file for divorce, regardless of your desire. Can she kick you out of the house? If the apartment belongs to a woman, then maybe. But only if you didn't joint purchases for housing arrangements. So if you come to the property of your beloved woman, you need to prepare yourself an airbag in advance. Furnish the room at your own expense. This will show the woman the seriousness of your intentions, and at the same time strengthen your rights to the apartment. If the property is legally yours, then there is no need to worry. Legally, a woman cannot kick you out of the house.
When ex-wife kicks her husband out of the house, she must have a good reason for her act. If the apartment is shared, then the woman has no right to expel the man.
If you decide to leave
The situation when a wife kicks her husband with a child out of the house is very commonplace. This happens to young mothers whose husbands are much older than they are. The girl has not walked up yet, she has a wind in her head. No maternal instinct she didn’t wake up, the only thing that worries the young lady is the choice of outfit for the next party. You need to leave such a windy girl immediately. Do not be afraid to destroy the family or take responsibility for the child. But it's not worth leaving the apartment to your wife. Do you think this is a noble gesture? File for divorce and demand division of property. A woman must understand that she needs to pay for any mistakes. Evil cannot be left unpunished.
Is it worth returning?
When leaving your wife, be sure to tell her that you will not return. And don't come back, even if you really want to. Otherwise, a woman may think that you are a convenient object for manipulation, and not a real man. A person who does not keep his word is not worthy of respect. A person who does not learn from his mistakes cannot be considered complete. If your wife constantly kicks you out of the house, leave. Why endure a brawler and spoil your nerves? But always warn that now you will leave and will never return. To fall on the same rake, even if they are beloved, does not make sense. A person should always remember the reason why his relationship fell apart. Do you think people change? No. Most people don't do any work on themselves. Therefore, there is no need to return to where you felt bad. It is better to spend time looking for a worthy object for love.
What should I do to not get kicked out?
Every person is unique. But the problems that arise in relationships are most often the same. Above, the answer was given to the question of what to do if the wife kicked out of the house, is it worth returning. The negative answer to it should serve as a lesson for many. What to do to avoid quarrels and scandals? You need to be careful and sensitive person. Take care of your wife, ask her how she is doing and how her day went. Be sure to make concessions. You will not be considered henpecked if you give in from time to time. If the wife is tired, wash the dishes or floors, cook dinner. Don't put off making requests until later. Wife wants you to help her change the curtains? Help now. Then you will forget about this assignment. Mutual understanding and care will help you keep happy marriage for many years.
Hello dear readers! During a quarrel, we all change beyond recognition and do terrible things, for which we are ashamed. We offend loved ones, behave inappropriately. If native person, the husband kicks out of the house, what should a woman do? This is the question we will be discussing today. Join and leave your comments.
I will try to give advice on what to do if there is a child in the family, how to fight, if he has an apartment, what does he want to achieve with these words. But let's start with the main thing - when they say such words.
Why does a man do this
Let's consider a situation where a spouse says that it's time for you to move out at every quarrel. Why is he doing this and what does he want to achieve. Many women think that he is trying to get rid of his wife. Actually, this is not necessarily the case.
It is likely that when talking about moving, he uses: “Do not forget who is in charge here. You have to listen to me,” he seems to say.
The husband blackmails the woman, forces her to agree with his opinion and accept his model of behavior, knowing that the wife has nowhere to go, as well as to go. Therefore, in order to stay, she is obliged to obey him implicitly.
If this is your case, I can immediately suggest a book that will be useful - Gennady Starshenbaum "Difficult characters. How to deal with them". It talks about how to communicate with neurotics, masochists, and so on. You will be able to develop a strategy that will allow you to disarm your opponent and deprive him of his best means of influence.
A woman with two children, in order not to injure the child's psyche, will really agree to everything. This is what my husband uses. If the quarrel has reached a dead end, heated up to the limit, then the man will want to stop it by all means, and The best way scare the enemy - shock him, mention a possible move.
How to cope if your husband is afraid of moving
If your husband is only talking about moving out to subdue his wife, then you can handle the situation by showing that you are not afraid of leaving. But you are not going anywhere until you clarify the relationship. How in such situations to insist on a conversation and discuss issues in which it is impossible to agree, I.
At the time of a quarrel, you should not appeal to the voice of reason and convince your husband that divorce and separation are not things that, in principle, can be said, but what he does - pure water manipulation. Wait until the emotions subside and you can talk calmly. Also, try to convince yourself that moving is not such a terrible thing.
Look, by saying these words, the husband is trying to scare you. You will have to forget about your fear in order to bring it back to reason. He must understand that his method no longer works. Only realizing this, he will stop manipulating you.
I can offer you a book "An Age of Anxiety. Fears, hopes, neuroses and the search for peace of mind by Scott Stossel to fight the feelings that other people are trying to use against you. I assure you, as soon as you believe in yourself and can get rid of unpleasant emotions, life will become much easier.
The scariest thing?
Do not forget that a husband can talk about moving not only to manipulate and blackmail. Some, in their own words, during quarrels, as it were, prepare a woman for an inevitable break. You can understand this when you similar situation. Unfortunately, there are no standardized indicators here, so you have to rely on your intuition and ability to clarify the situation.
What to do in this case? And will help you again calm environment. You need to find out what exactly does not suit your spouse and whether he sees alternative ways a solution to a problem other than separation or divorce.
Unfortunately, you will not be able to escape from this situation. Sooner or later, the topic will be open, but already by a man, and not just during a quarrel. Remember, all the most important words always spoken in a whisper.
That's all for me. Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter. See you again.
One week, I was approached for legal advice by three women who had been kicked out of their homes by their husbands. Kicked out with the kids. All women were different in character, in strength of spirit, different social status, however, everyone was interested in, in general, similar legal issues. These three lawyer consulting and led me to the idea of writing this short article on my website.
So, they can kick you out of the house different reasons, for the reasons for these actions, one can experience from black hatred to feelings of guilt, in some situations one can even rejoice at this. But the fact remains, you and your child are on the street, you, by and large, have nowhere to go.
Mainly interested in the following questions:
1. What should I do if my husband beat me when he kicked me out of the house?
2. Is it possible to return to the apartment and live there legally?
3. Is it possible to force a husband to pay for housing?
4. How else can you get even with your husband for such an injustice?
We will not consider a situation where a husband kicks his wife out of her own apartment, acquired by her before marriage, due to the fact that over the years of my advocacy, I have not come across such a situation.
If violence has been committed against you or your child.
It is important to understand that an act of violence in itself is qualified either as an administrative offense of beating under Article 6.1.1 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation, or as a criminal offense against health. Depending on the severity of the consequences, such actions are qualified under Article 115 ( slight harm health), Article 112 (medium harm to health), Article 111 (serious harm to health) of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
The use of violence cannot be justified by any motive at all, except in self-defence. Therefore, a badly (in the husband's opinion) cooked dinner, lack of courtesy, or even treason, cannot be a justification, from the point of view of the law, for the use of violence.
In such a situation, you should immediately call the police and report the fact of violence. Upon the arrival of the police squad, go with them to the department and write, firstly, a statement about the fact of violence, and secondly, give explanations on this fact, on the same day will contact medical institution to fix traces of violence. You should go to a medical facility even if you have nothing broken, dislocated, cut in the skin and there are no signs of a concussion.
Least of all, you are “lucky” if, by an examination appointed as part of a check on your application, doctors establish that you have a slight bodily injury. In this case, the police will send the verification materials to the Magistrate's Court, where you yourself will have to act as a private prosecutor and prove the guilt of your husband. In this case, you can write a statement to the prosecutor with a request to support your interests in court, since you do not have sufficient legal knowledge, you are on treatment, you are caring for a child, there is no money for a lawyer.
It may happen that a husband, without the consent of his wife, committed actions against sexual integrity, and then during the conflict (possibly with the use of violence), he kicks him out of the house. In this situation, the status of a spouse, cohabitant, friend, civil partner does not in itself give the right to commit such actions, this is a serious crime against sexual integrity. It is important to remember this and, if desired, you can write a statement to the police about the commission of such actions against your will.
Here, if rape is committed and slight bodily harm is done, and you ask to be prosecuted for both crimes, then this will be one criminal case, and you will no longer need to act as a private prosecutor, the prosecution will be supported by the prosecutor's office.
If violence is caused to a child, then you act as the legal representative of the victim and the algorithm of actions is the same - the police, a statement, an explanation, a medical institution. The fact of committing unlawful acts against a child is the basis for deprivation subsequently parental rights. Deprivation of parental rights does not at all deprive the obligation to support the child, to pay alimony for his maintenance. Such deprivation implies, for example, the impossibility of restricting the child's travel abroad, requiring the establishment of a procedure for communicating with the child, and enjoying other benefits associated with the status of a parent.
Is it possible to return to the apartment and live there legally?
Legally, in most cases, this possibility does exist. First of all, there is no “you live on bird rights”, the right to housing is a constitutional right. Even if you live in the apartment of your husband or his parents, you are exercising your constitutional right to evict you only through the court.
However, when you were kicked out, you can move back only through the court. Your spouse (ex-spouse) can file an eviction lawsuit against your move-in claim.
And now let's take a look.
If the apartment is owned by the husband, which he received before marriage, you are registered elsewhere, but the child has not yet been registered.
In this situation, you should file a lawsuit to move in the child and you, if you are still married, then on the basis of Article 31 of the Housing Code of the Russian Federation, since, according to part 2 of this article, family members of the owner of the dwelling have the right to use this dwelling on an equal basis with his owner. It is also important to require the court to oblige migration service register you at your spouse's place of residence. The desire of the owner is not so important here, the court will inspire you, and also remind your spouse of his obligation to build his relationships in the family on the basis of mutual respect and mutual assistance (part 2 of article 31 Family Code RF).
In addition, the lawsuit can also refer to Article 54 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation on the right of a child to live with his parents, whether the parents want it or not.
If the marriage between you and your spouse is dissolved, then the law is still on your side. According to Part 4 of Article 31 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, if the former family member of the owner of the residential premises has no grounds for acquiring or exercising the right to use another residential premises, and also if the property status of the former family member of the owner of the residential premises and other noteworthy circumstances do not allow him to provide other residential premises, the right to use the residential premises owned by the specified owner may be retained by the former member of his family for certain period based on a court decision. In this case, the court has the right to oblige the owner of the residential premises to provide other residential premises ex-spouse and other members of his family, in favor of which the owner fulfills maintenance obligations, at their request.
That is, in a lawsuit for moving in, you just need to prove in court that you do not have housing, and your salary is not enough to rent housing, in addition, you can demand that the court oblige ex-husband provide you and your child with a different living space.
If the apartment is jointly owned, or registered in the name of the husband during the marriage.
In this situation, you move in, and, depending on the situation, determine the shares along the way, demand in the lawsuit to establish the procedure for using the residential premises.
If the apartment is given to the husband under a social contract of employment.
Under the contract social recruitment, it doesn’t matter if you are a family member or not. Here you should carefully read Article 69 of the Housing Code of the Russian Federation, and file a claim for moving in. In the case when the spouse swears in court that you are divorced, left the house yourself and do not continue to live in the apartment, that is, he begins to put pressure on the formal grounds for your eviction under part 4 of article 69 of the LC RF, you should call witnesses of neighbors, maybe police officers, and prove that you were forced to leave the apartment, fearing threats, beatings, etc. That is, that they did not leave of their own free will once and for all.
E if the husband’s apartment is service.
Here, the former family member loses the right to reside, as in the apartment owned by the spouse. The advantage is that for office apartment the same rules for moving in apply as for an apartment in the property. The downside is that representatives of the owner of the apartment - the Ministry of Defense, the FSB, etc. - will be involved in the case. They may defend the position that you are not entitled to live in their housing.
Can I force my husband to pay rent?
Yes, if you try hard, on the basis of part 4 of article 31 of the LC RF. This article I have already quoted above. We are talking about the fact that the court has the right to oblige the owner of the dwelling to provide the former spouse and other members of his family with other living quarters, in whose favor the owner fulfills maintenance obligations, at their request. You can go to court, even if you have already rented an apartment, it is important to prove in court that you cannot afford it.
How else can you get even with your husband for the injustice of eviction?
Demand the division of property, loans, demand alimony for yourself until reaching a child of three years, to file claims for the invalidation of transactions for the disposal of property acquired during the marriage, to bring to administrative and criminal liability for non-payment of alimony, to declare the restriction of parental rights or their deprivation.
Hello! I am 23 years old, my husband is 30. We have been married for 2 years, before that we lived 1.5 years in a place. we have a 2 year old son. After graduating from school and entering the institute, I married my husband, after a while I became pregnant. I left work on maternity leave, took it at the Academ Institute, now I work at home as a master nail service. Our problem is that in any quarrel, it is not even significant. My husband starts telling me what I should do as he says. And if I don’t do this, he will take me to live with my parents. Every time I fight, he threatens me. He says: “you won’t do as I said, you’ll pack your things and go to your parents”, “it’s not in your position to say anything against me,” hinting that he will kick me out. I don't earn much and I have nowhere to live except in his apartment. He bought an apartment official marriage. And in general, sometimes he kicks me out in plain text - "pack your things and get out of here." I can’t go to my parents, there’s just nowhere to settle down. I'm tired of being humiliated! Every time you hear that you are being chased ... I have a tantrum, I start to cry, because I'm afraid to be left alone with the child. He does not agree to a trip to a psychologist! Tell me how to be? Ps "houses are always clean, food ... the first second and compote. In this regard, I the responsible person and a decent wife
Mariana, hello.
Analyze your self-esteem, the way you present yourself to your husband.
Ideally, you should get it so that he should think about being afraid to lose you and scare you with something. You are still young, think over your image, your behavior, your sexual behavior. Light up your husband with your energy so that he is dependent on you (sorry Lord, I'm teaching how to manipulate my husband)))).
You are both victims of your complexes. You are afraid of loneliness, he is afraid of loneliness and emphasizes his superiority. Be wiser, relieve stress!
Timofeeva Nina Gennadievna, psychologist Chita
Good answer 11 bad answer 3Last update: 12/24/17
The wife kicked her husband out, the husband kicks him out of the house, reasons
The situation when the wife kicked her husband out of the house, from the family, or when the husband kicked out his wife, and even more so, when they have not yet kicked him out to the end, but they are kicking him out, is not such a rarity in families.
Moreover, in new, in young families that have lived, even for decades, and, moreover, once lived "in happiness and in love."
But, first, let's look at the fact itself, when the wife kicked out her husband or the husband kicks out or kicked out his wife.
For the very fact of the pasture suggests that, in these relations in this family, everything is far from being only problematic, but also inhumanly - immoral.
For, as you know, they drive out and drive the cattle. And, even a “beasted” husband or the same wife, nevertheless, are people.
Moreover, these people were once loved, a certain number of events and lifetimes have been lived with them. And many, moreover, have common children.
In other words, expelling a husband or wife, like a tired dog or cat, in itself speaks of the level of humanity and morality of these people and the level of their relationship.
And, after all, it happens that they expel a husband, wife, literally, to nowhere and without everything: on the street and without means of subsistence.
That is, it turns out that when the wife kicked out, the husband kicked out: they began to treat their family partner not like a human, but, literally, like a bestial - without human morality and norms of life.
And this does not justify them that those who were expelled may also have behaved in this way. If only because: to become like cattle, to its bestiality is unworthy and unacceptable for a person.
Kicked out her husband, husband kicks out of the house, reasons
Family life, as well as their basis - the relationship of husband and wife, everyone understands who plunged into them: complicated thing. For this is the life of a person, with all its contradictions, confrontations and problems.
And this, sometimes literally, is a clash of two personalities - two worlds in the minds of a husband and wife, and the worldviews of other participants in the family action. For example, the next of kin of the husband and wife - their parents.
Therefore, the reasons for the situation when the wife kicked out her husband, or the husband kicked out or kicks out his wife, are complex and multifaceted, despite their apparent simplicity.
The simplicity lies in the fact that, obviously, there are only two generalized reasons when, a husband, a wife kicks out:
1. When it is purely emotional - a rash act, in a fit of negative emotions.
For example, news of treason, or big quarrel, scandal.
As a rule, if the wife kicked out or the husband kicked out, in a fit of his emotions - then this ends with reconciliation, repentance, promises - it turns out to be "innocent" family fun.
2. When the husband kicked out, the wife kicked out, as a result decision: this husband, this wife or, simply, husband, wife, as such, I no longer need.
If the emotional version of the expulsion of a husband or wife is clear to everyone and does not require clarification: well, they had a big fight - “who doesn’t happen to you,” they will reconcile.
That option, when the wife kicked out her husband or the husband kicks out his wife deliberately, because they are no longer needed, in my opinion, requires clarification.
For, it often happens that a wife openly declares to her husband: Get out - I don't need you anymore!
And the husband can neither understand, nor believe, nor accept such a situation: How so, - not needed!? Was needed, loved, and so on, and now, it's so simple: Get out! - not needed!?
Wives are no less amazed when their husbands kick them out: I am not needed!? The one who fed you for so many years, indulged you, gave birth to children for you - “gave you the best years”?
Wife kicked her husband out, husband kicked his wife out because they don't need them anymore
There is an opinion among the masses that every person in life has his own purpose - for something he is needed in the cycle of the world.
I don’t know what about the universal destiny of man, but in human relations, in particular, in relations between husband and wife, men and women have their own significance for each other.
In other words, relationships are built on needs - on the need of one person in another person.
These needs-needs form the interests of the husband and wife in each other - in cohabitation in family.
What these interests can be, regardless of how they are implemented:
- v passionate love, v respectful attitude, or simply in the habit of living together, or in the patient comfort of a family nest, when “separately is impossible, but together, too, is not very sweet”?
In relation to our topic, the wife will not expel her husband, and the husband will not think of expelling his wife when they have such JOINT interests:
1. Existential interest to live together, as a family.
That is, an established life, relative or complete financial dependence, common, expensive family housing for both, and so on.
2. The presence of dearly beloved children, when the husband and wife even agree to endure each other for the sake of the children - so as not to deprive them of maternal and paternal care and love.
3. Spiritual intimacy - human relation to each other, as, precisely, to interesting and deeply revered and respected personalities, with a common past, feelings, events, and so on.
When a situation arises that the wife kicked out the husband, and the husband kicks out the wife
The situation when the wife kicked out her husband, and the husband kicks out his wife, arises when ALL interests in the family partner disappear. For instance:
1. If a wife or husband was connected only by domestic and financial interests, and one of them or both no longer need a joint life and, in particular, financial support.
The wife kicks her husband out, becoming financially and financially independent of him: I don't need you anymore - I can live without you.
It often happens that a husband kicks his wife out about this: With MY money, I can find a younger and better wife.
2. When the children have grown up, “the family nest is empty”, the wife kicks her husband out, and the husband no longer needs a “worked out” wife. Finally, there is an opportunity to live for yourself, "beloved and unique."
3. When common household and financial interests disappeared, it suddenly turns out that: but we didn’t have anything in common, except for life and money, or nothing left - no love, no understanding, no intimacy, and so on.
Moreover, it does not matter whether this is actually so, or only seems to be in the inflamed brains, for example, of men and women experiencing a crisis of 40 years.
What to do when the wife kicked out the husband, the husband kicked out the wife
If the wife kicked out or the husband kicked out, then you need to act, as they say, according to the circumstances and, above all, your interests:
1. You need to rejoice if you yourself intended, but it didn’t work out, for one reason or another, to leave this wife or husband yourself.
That is, they were expelled, and, thank God: they are pleased, and you are well.
2. If the wife kicked out or the husband kicked out, in the heat of emotional violence, and this does not correspond to either their or your interests, then you just need to wait a while and make peace.
How? This is based on your understanding and knowledge and understanding of the situation and your family partner.
3. If the wife kicked out or the husband kicked out, and this is their firm decision - they no longer need you, then:
- or leave, because it’s pointless to humiliate yourself, get nervous and “knock the threshold”, only thereby further strengthening them in the correctness of the decision to expel you;
- or, if it is fundamentally contrary to your interests, in the form of your feelings, the interests of children, and so on.
They kick you out: but you don’t leave - fight for your life - prove your case, appeal to the feelings and mind of those who kicked you out. And stuff like that. Patience and good luck to you!
Have you, ladies and gentlemen, faced a situation where the wife kicked out her husband, the husband kicked out his wife? What can you say about this?