The most important thing in life is to find your man. This is how you will feel when you meet your person. How to know if a person is right for you

Those who are out of tune with themselves try to fill the inner void with something external. But empty people attract the same empty people or become victims of manipulators who underestimate their self-esteem. The only way create healthy relationship- make friends with yourself. This will kill two birds with one stone.

First, you will become a healthier person and begin to attract the same self-sufficient people who will not need to assert themselves at your expense. Secondly, you will stop being afraid of loneliness.

When I tell people to be on their own for a while, they resist at first. I was like that too, and every time I stepped on the same rake, starting a relationship with the wrong people.

My ex-husband left me for another, and I decided that I would knock out a wedge with a wedge. But in a new relationship, neither I nor the man were happy. It took me years to befriend myself and meet true love... This happened after I learned to be successful and happy on my own and stopped depending on others and their opinions about me.

What does it mean to build a relationship with yourself?

Learn to listen to yourself

Talk to yourself. Learn to spend time in silence by yourself. At first it will not be very comfortable, but in such "quiet" periods, a lot becomes clear. If you look at the screen of your smartphone or computer all the time, your brain is too busy to notice and evaluate what is happening in the world and within you. Learn to disconnect from external stimuli and listen inner voice.

Begin to feel good about yourself

Tune in to desires, realize who you are as a person. Take up what you have wanted to try for a long time. Sign up for a foreign language course, start drawing, or learn to ride a motorcycle. You can go on a journey alone. Sounds intimidating? Perhaps at first it will seem like this to you, but you will get involved in the process and get an irreplaceable experience and pleasure. Learn to enjoy your own company.

Unleash sorrow

Accept your losses. Allow yourself to cry, be sad, or angry. When will you learn to live sad events, you will not be afraid of new losses. By letting go of your fear, you can make better choices.

Make friends with self-sufficient people

When I left my husband and moved with the kids to Massachusetts, I was scared. If I had not found a job, I would never have dared to move. At that time someone gave me valuable advice: "Make friends with people who have what you dream of." I did so. My new girlfriends were happy and lived full life... Not all were married, but loneliness did not weigh them down.

Learn to relax

Take a bubble bath or go to a spa, get to know your body self. Cut out outside noise, only audio for relaxation and meditation is allowed. As you learn relaxation techniques, don't try to get it right. It will come gradually.

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The entire modern world lives under the motto "Find your soul mate". "Second half" - think about these words. It turns out, without a certain, predetermined half for us, we will not be able to reveal ourselves and be considered complete? It sounds very romantic. But a little cruel. After all, just think: what if you met the perfect person, but in fact he is not at all part of you? What if your half lives on the other side of the world? Destiny must be a very tricky thing to come up with such a difficult scenario to restore your integrity with a person from another continent. What if everything goes wrong and you never meet him?

We are in site decided to find honest answers ordinary people to the typical advice of professional coaches and authors of glossy magazines on finding this very soul mate. We hope that their experienced look at all these love life hacks will help answer our question: “What if I never meet my your soul mate?»

1. "To meet your person, you need to prescribe a clear ideal in advance"

Many trainers in successful life argue that you need to immediately accurately describe your ideal person: his appearance, character traits, position in society, sphere of activity. Thanks to such visualization, the object of desires must itself "beautifully enter your sinful life."

But here's what happens to people who prescribe everything in advance:

“You know, from the very school I had completely different criteria for a person whom I would like to love and see around me. At first it was an image handsome boy... Then, when I met a handsome man, I realized that this was not enough for me. I need something to talk with him about. And when I met both smart and handsome, I realized that I didn't care about my appearance, but I could not close my eyes to the lack of a sense of humor. And over time, I just started to prioritize. If at the age of 18 it was important to me that the guy did not smoke, now I don’t care whether the young man smokes or not, because his bad habit doesn't make it worse. "

Lola gook

At first, the person who lives in your head and desperately tries to meet you every day somewhere around the corner may not appear in your life at all. A good man not from your "sketch" you can easily miss and not notice.

Secondly as we can see from the history above, our criteria are constantly changing. And this happens not only because of their own changes, but also because of the constantly acquired experience. For clarity, imagine that the relationship is a waltz. You dream of finding a partner who waltzes with you toe-to-toe. But how do you determine who is right for you, if you haven't even tried to dance with the one who invited you?

2. "To meet a soul mate, you need to constantly be in an active search."

And again on the topic of the waltz: overdo it with the number of partners, as is sometimes advised fashion magazines, also not an option. And here's why: in recent times Experiments with daily dating are gaining popularity, such as this Tinder experiment with 300 dates a year. The girl made the most general conclusion from this experience in her article in Wonderzine magazine:

“I went into the app and admired the guys - it was all like playing a game or looking for clothes in an online store. Tinder changes: you stop appreciating your partner and pay more attention to disadvantages than advantages. During the time that I have been using the application, I was disappointed in myself: I was ashamed that I stopped appreciating those with whom I met, that every time I tried to find someone better. "

Office manager, 27 years old

3. "To meet your person, you need to develop yourself"

“Believe that you are worthy of love, and love is worthy of you, even if you have a wounded heart. Learn to listen to yourself. Talk to yourself in silence. Hear your inner voice. Get to know your body as well: go to the spa more often, relax on your own. Sometimes allow yourself to cry and be sad - this way you will not be afraid of new losses ”- this is what life-affirming articles on the Internet constantly tell us about.

Let's think in a less vanilla and smarter way: self-development and self-confidence are really very important. But try to type in Google the query "I am beautiful, but lonely" (instead of "handsome" you can indicate "smart / successful / rich" or even "handsome as god"), and you will understand that even very developed, successful and talented people can not always meet without problems good partner for waltz. This means that the matter is not necessarily in our own ideality and versatility, let's move on.

4. “You just have to believe. This is the main thing "

"'If you believe, everything will work out." Blindly following this type of thinking shatters many dreams. This is probably how the first explanation of some guru-shaman will sound: “If you are not successful, it’s all because you don’t believe in your goal enough. You are not convinced enough of it. "

Yes, forget about talent, opportunities, just lack of faith - just because of this fact you fail. If this were indeed the case, then all you need is complete confidence in your goal. And that's all! "

Alex George, psychologist

Faith is really a necessary thing, but only in conjunction with other qualities. Dreaming on the couch, you won't find the perfect dance partner - you have to go to the ball.

5. "To meet your soul mate, visualize life with this person."

Psychologists sometimes suggest this trick: if you really want to be in a relationship with someone, but you still can't meet your waltz partner, try for a month to act as if you already have one. Imagine that you live together, imagine how your life has changed now, your routine, habits, and everyday life must have changed. Such self-deception can be useful from the point of view of psychology: it subconsciously tunes you to the desired rhythm, thanks to which your significant other and, probably, the Universe itself will say: “Well, then it’s time to meet!”

At the same time, you can find funny examples of women on the Internet who, together with the 1st point on visualization of their appearance, “visualized” their husbands in this way:

“Rendered a blue-eyed blonde. Non-smoker and non-drinker. We had to get involved in theater, talk about culture and literature. Got a hot brunette with brown eyes and a three-day stubble. He is fond of football and fishing. He smokes two packs a day and loves Irish whiskey. "

User Woman.ru

As a result, any advice can be questioned. So what is the probability, even if all these named conditions are met, not to meet your man?

One of the most popular opinions from the Internet:

“No chance. You shouldn't dwell on this, the most important and “that” person in life is you. There is no one more important in your life than you. Therefore, you should not wait and look for “the very one”, direct the forces on yourself, and someone will surely notice and appreciate it. And if not, then at least you will not live in vain and with dignity, because life is surprisingly short - you have to do everything. "

Mariia tatarenko

But do not assume that love is blind and that it will never see you. Just don't take her as the only possible attempt to become a whole person. If you haven't met yet ideal partner, just learn to dance the waltz and go to balls. After all, we repeat, "life is surprisingly short - you have to do everything in time!"

Whatever we do: work, personal affairs, caring for relatives, meeting with friends, and no matter how many people are around us, often a silent question arises in our thoughts: "How to find your person in life?"

I will not reveal to anyone a secret that these words often come to mind, including people who have been married or married for a long time, are raising children. Soul mates are rarely united by a stamp in a passport ...
Perhaps the most important thing in life is to find a person to your liking. And it doesn't matter at all where it happens and at what age. A person finds the meaning of life in another person who is able to accept him as he is, not to ask about the past, not to demand the fulfillment of desires, to understand and give love.

How to find your person for life?

Let Nike's revelation be the answer:

“People are together as long as they both want to be together. Neither duty, nor honor, nor morality binds one person to another. When a person wants to leave, he will leave both the house and the children and the dying cripple. Until he wants to, he stays close.

When a person wants to be together, none of your shortcomings will interfere with him.

When a person wants to leave, none of your virtues will hold him back.

No matter how ugly and unattractive you are, there is someone who will like you. As good and desirable as you are, there is someone who will reject you.

If you are rejected, it means nothing. You don't get worse or less, nothing terrible actually happens. How to find your man in life - your man is in the world and he will accept you.

If you are accepted, one day you will part - not in life, so in death. Cherish what you have, do not regret what you will lose and do not be afraid to lose.

Rejoice that there is a person who shines for you. Shine yourself - the more light, the less fear, the less fear, the less darkness in the soul.

A leaf that wants to return to the tree can swim against the current and fly against the wind. But the tree will not grow it to the old branch.

The more you love, the more you give love, the more remains. If, while giving love, you feel pain or hatred, it means that you gave a person poison in chocolate glaze. It is hardly worth demanding gratitude for such a gift.

Let go. Let the person be someone other than the mirror of your love - all the more so as it is. Dissolving in a loved one is a rare talent and a rare curse. Be yourself, be worthy, forget about fear - one day it will not return anyway. But not today 🙂

Believe it. Trust. Gray. Thank you. Do not think about what may be - only about what is here and now, in fire and water, under the stars.

Leave before dead love smells of carrion. Come before desire turns into obsession.

What is bought with money only costs money. That which is begged, cried out, taken away and stolen - will one day be taken away a hundredfold. What is given of the free will, from the heart, is priceless.

How to find your person in life is simple. You will go to meet and collide with him in the middle of the road. He did not know. You didn't call. You were found. And wherever you went before, you are now on the way. "

I wish you to find a loved one for life, drink delicious coffee together in the morning, arrange homework romantic evenings, read books aloud to each other and cherish every moment spent together ..

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Whatever we do: work, personal affairs, caring for relatives, meeting with friends, and no matter how many people are around us, often a silent question arises in our thoughts: "How to find your person in life?" I will not reveal to anyone a secret that these words often come to mind, including people who have been married or married for a long time, are raising children. Soul mates are rarely united by a stamp in a passport ...

Perhaps the most important thing in life is to find a person to your liking. And it doesn't matter at all where it happens and at what age. A person finds the meaning of life in another person who is able to accept him as he is, not to ask about the past, not to demand the fulfillment of desires, to understand and give love. How to find your person for life? Let the answer be Nicky's revelation:

“People are together as long as they both want to be together. Neither duty, nor honor, nor morality binds one person to another. When a person wants to leave, he will leave both the house and the children and the dying cripple. Until he wants to, he stays close.

When a person wants to be together, none of your shortcomings will hinder him; when a person wants to leave, none of your merits will hold him back. No matter how ugly and unattractive you are, there is someone who will like you. As good and desirable as you are, there is someone who will reject you.

If you are rejected, it means nothing. You don't get worse or less, nothing terrible actually happens. How to find your man in life - your man is in the world and he will accept you.

If you are accepted, one day you will part - not in life, so in death. Cherish what you have, do not regret what you will lose and do not be afraid to lose. Rejoice that there is a person who shines for you. Shine yourself - the more light, the less fear, the less fear, the less darkness in the soul.

A leaf that wants to return to the tree can swim against the current and fly against the wind. But the tree will not grow it to the old branch. The more you love, the more you give love, the more remains. If, while giving love, you feel pain or hatred, it means that you gave a person poison in chocolate glaze. It is hardly worth demanding gratitude for such a gift.

Let go. Let the person be someone other than the mirror of your love - all the more so as it is. Dissolving in a loved one is a rare talent and a rare curse. Be yourself, be worthy, forget about fear - one day it will not return anyway. But not today 🙂

Leave before dead love smells of carrion. Come before desire turns into obsession.

What is bought with money only costs money. That which is begged, cried out, taken away and stolen - will one day be taken away a hundredfold. What is given of the free will, from the heart, is priceless. How to find your person in life is simple. You will go to meet and collide with him in the middle of the road. He did not know. You didn't call. You were found. And wherever you went before, you are now on the way. "

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When the relationship has already been established, and understanding and love reign between partners, it remains only to maintain these feelings. It is not so easy, but quite possible. It is much more difficult for those who have not yet met their soul mate and are in active search a person who is close in spirit and interests, to those who still do not really know how to recognize their person. The difficulty lies in the fact that so many people are capable of making us sympathetic. It can be nice and pleasant to spend weekends with them, to have fun and travel, but deep down in my heart I still realize that, despite mutual interest, this is not at all the person with whom I would like to live my whole life, share the most intimate, take care of him , support and protect it.

How to know if a person is right for you

Among many familiar faces and lines chance encounters you can easily miss your chance to find your soul mate. But how to recognize your person and not overlook him? Everyone has an ideal partner drawn in their subconscious. Sometimes we may not even be aware that we are looking for a person who looks like a dream. Unfortunately, in reality it is quite difficult to meet someone who will fully meet all our requirements and wishes. Yes, it is not necessary. The most important thing in a relationship is respect, understanding, willingness to support in difficult moment and, of course, disinterested and light love.

Sometimes it is enough to spend a few days with a person to understand what you have met faithful companion for life. Sometimes it takes years to realize this. However, there are several important signs that may indicate that you have met your person.

In books and films, we often see scenes where people meet in the most inappropriate places for romance: at the grocery store, at the dentist's office, or on a walk with the dog. One should not exclude the possibility of such a meeting in real life, but you should not rely on it too much. It is best to look for your soul mate in places common interests... These can be concerts, exhibitions and museums, theaters, clubs where they play board games, various master classes or foreign language courses. When meeting a person in one of these places, you will at least have common points of contact and will have something to talk about. On initial stage relationship is a good start.

V modern world development social networks many people find a mate with the help of the Internet. Now it is possible to exchange photos, indicate your details in your profile, write about interests and hobbies, and view information about other users. It has become much easier to find a person with whom you could be interesting in real life.

When looking for a loved one, all means and sources are good. You should not discard the opportunity to meet someone you liked by referring to Bad mood or other little things and excuses. It's okay to be afraid of rejection or failure, but if you don't overpower yourself, you can spend half your life alone. Even if previous attempts ended in failure and the relationship did not work out, you should not be disappointed, because it is quite possible that today you will meet the person you have been looking for for so long.