Why should you beat your wife? The cruel truth of life. Why beat your wife

19.04.2019

“In this chapter, I will tell you what to do if a woman who has the good fortune to be your wife goes the wrong way. The correct path of such a woman has four components: humility, modesty, awe of her husband and awareness of the calling of mother and wife. All these components give rise to humility in marriage, and marriage, as you know, is the basis of society and the structure of the world.

If your wife is rebellious, wayward in sayings, abandoned the household and raising children, refuses to fulfill marital debt or treats your parents with no respect, then she may be considered as having gone astray and should receive physical punishment, as his livestock receive when they go beyond the pasture. Truly I say to you: a woman who follows the wrong path must be punished by her husband and thereby returned to the right path.

obedience problems and misbehavior your wife arise for two main reasons, the first of which is your connivance and gentleness with her, and the second is the connivance and gentleness of her parents and, above all, her father. If the father was excessively kind to his daughter, and she did not know the rod, but only affection and all-permissiveness, then she becomes a rebellious wife who does not recognize the supremacy of a man. Marriage with such a woman promises only disappointment. Your own connivance and gentleness come from the fact that in your family the father was not a shepherd over a woman, but only part of the flock. And even worse, if he allowed your mother to be a shepherd - to dominate the family, determine where to spend money and how to raise children. There are now those families in which mothers are allowed to raise their hands against boys. A good father will hit such a hand with a rod, because a boy who was punished by his mother cannot grow up to be a man.

Perhaps you are exposed to modern trends that speak of equality between a man and a woman. If so, then you will most likely be disappointed and find yourself in an unfortunate position, for a woman cannot lead the ship of the family to prosperity. Without male guidance, she becomes capricious and chaotic, righting the ship on the reefs.

Only a blind man does not see that a woman is lower than a man, and if you are one of those, then I will give you three main reasons that speak of the headship of a father and husband over a wife and daughter: first of all, the husband is higher than his wife because on the marital bed he gives from yourself. The second is that a woman lives by emotion, and a man by thought. The brain of a man is larger and it is he who has the right to think and determine the path. The third reason is that the man stronger body, which means that it is he who gets food, builds a house and protects a woman. Treating a woman as an equal is like encouraging the independence of a cat that eats from its owner's bowl.

A woman should invest her efforts in pleasing her husband with her beauty, fulfilling marital duties, maintaining household, raising children and helping a spouse in his affairs. The time remaining from these duties, a woman can devote to some activity that brings her joy, such as art, reading religious literature, or talking with smart people. A wise husband will not encourage his wife to associate with friends, especially with those who have no children or indulge in an idle lifestyle.

Now I will tell you about how to punish a woman who has gone astray. the right way, namely, not investing its own best forces in family prosperity or opposing her husband and wayward. You should not resort to physical punishment straightaway. To begin with, you should make a list of what does not suit your husband - is it done poorly or ignored. Maybe the wife does not meet her husband in elegant dress, walks in the morning without putting on makeup, does not consider it necessary to take off her husband's clothes when he enters the house. The same goes for washing the husband's feet and even bringing home shoes for him. Many husbands do not even know what real caress and care are, because wives are not passionate about taking care of them, but about their own affairs, which start from gossip with girlfriends to idle shopping or sitting in in social networks. Active concern for a man should occupy a woman. It is in this that she can reach the pinnacle of her development, if she is lucky enough to have that husband who will show her the right path.

So, having compiled such a list, the husband points out to his wife the deplorable results of her action or inaction and discusses the new behavior of the wife that will suit him. Of course, all husbands should apply the reasonableness and scope of these requirements to themselves, because the wife is not a servant. However, don't be too soft either. It is worth discussing each of the requirements with her and it is possible to come to a compromise that suits both. If already at the stage of such a discussion or later, when a woman must make every effort to fulfill the requirements, she reveals disobedience, willfulness, negligence in relation to what is required, the husband needs to apply physical punishment to her.

Again, I want to keep husbands from applying such punishment right away. At the first stage, the excommunication of the wife from the marital bed works well. For a man who has known many women and has many wives, it is no secret that any woman is dependent on male intimate caresses and takes such punishment very seriously. To begin with, a man should establish that a wife who does not fulfill the requirements placed on her or shows willfulness is excommunicated from the marital bed for three or four days for each such offense. Among the wives there are those who do not consider this measure a punishment. Or those who will pretend that punishment is a joy to her. Unfortunately, only a rod can reason with such a woman.

What is the right way to beat your wife? To begin with, a man should once again draw his wife's attention to the fact that she did not heed his exhortations and re-read the list of requirements, focusing on those that were not fulfilled. Maybe it will bring a smile, but the first time you need to hit your wife with a toothpick. The husband should approach his wife and strike three times with a toothpick on any part of the body, and then warn her that the next time the punishment will be carried out with a rod. And show this rod to your wife. The rod that a good husband chooses to punish his wife should not be thinner than the little finger or thicker than the middle finger of his hand. It must be made of wood. The rod should not have protrusions, metal or any sharp parts, nor should it be made of dry wood that threatens to split. This can damage the wife's skin and make her ugly.

At good husband practicing consistency and thoroughness in actions, the question may arise: on what parts of the body and how to beat his wife? It is impossible to foresee all options, but there are at least two types of women and two types of blows. thin women, which, in my opinion, the Creator sends to punish men, should be beaten with sharp and light blows. Complete, possessing real oriental beauty, you should apply rare, slow, but heavy blows. You should never hit a woman with your hand. Firstly, you can hurt your hand, and secondly male hand should not be associated in women with pain.

In no case should you beat a woman in the following places: face and back of the head, stomach - especially in the lower part, lower back, as well as forearms, hands, legs and shins. And in particular, men often ask me why you shouldn't hit your wife in the lower back? To which I answer: a wife punished in this way hardly fulfills homework, for example, she washes floors and washes clothes, and she also cannot lift weights at all and bring a man house shoes. As for the forearms, hands, legs and shins, these are open parts that should delight the male gaze, and not frighten him with bruises. Strikes should be on the buttocks, upper arms and back, hips. You should not chase your wife around the house with shouts and insults, such behavior is unworthy of a man. To begin with, you should approach her and politely ask her to accept the punishment by squatting or all fours. The wife must first remove the dress, or lower its top or lower part. If she resists, then one should very carefully, but strongly twist her hands and possibly fix them with a string, after which, having previously bowed her to the floor or carefully holding her head between her knees, punish her with a rod.

Men also ask how many blows can be applied? I answer that in any case the number of blows should not exceed one blow for two years of the wife's life. In no case should you demand silence from her, give her the opportunity to cry and scream. This rule applies to the next two hours after the punishment. However, if after this time the cries and tears do not stop, it is worth demanding silence from the woman, and if she does not hear such a demand, punish again. I will add that the way of raising a wife who has gone astray the right way, this is a very big test for a husband, requiring a lot of strength from him. However, it is worth it, because we know many women who, having received what was due, began to live in humility, modesty and humility.

The husband beats his wife. Splint. From the collection "Russian Folk Pictures".

What justifies the power of the husband?

For traditional societies, which include pre-Petrine Russia, is characterized by patriarchal family, where the head of the family - a man authoritatively dominated all household members 1 . The authority of the head of the family was also reinforced by the position of the church, which, relying on the Gospel, drew a parallel between the power of God over Christ and Christ over people with the power of a husband over his wife: "Christ is the head of every husband, the husband is the head of the wife, and God is the head of Christ" 2.

Such power of the head of the family over his wife and the rest of the household, including the right to use violence against them, was not only reflected in folk customs, but was justified by religious teachings and enshrined in the norms of canon law.

In "The Word of John Chrysostom about good wives"The power of a husband over his wife was explained by the origin of the latter:" Thou hast been taken from her husband and may she possess you, but you obey him in silence. "This work defined the nature of the relationship between spouses in this way:" Hear the wives of God's commandments, and learn in silence to obey your husband ... And do not resist your wife's husband, but obey them in everything, and obey the wife's husband's will "3.

Obliging the husband to teach and educate his wife, "Domostroy" pointed out that if the husband "does not teach his wife ...", then "he does not care about his soul" and will be "ruined in this world and in the future, and will destroy his house," therefore " good husband He cares about his own salvation and punishes his wife... In a family where the husband teaches his wife "with love and reasonable punishment... everything will be disputed, and everything will be full" 4 .

The recommendations of the educational literature have found fixings in the norms of canon law. So church charter Prince Yaroslav charged the husband with "executing" his wife if she steals her husband"," a cage to steal "and" if the wife is a sorceress, a maid, or a sorcerer, or a greenery "5 .

Evidence of the deep penetration into the people's consciousness of the idea of the need to use violence against the wife are proverbs and sayings. To save family happiness they recommended that husbands begin the educational process immediately after marriage (“Beat your wife in youth, you will have peace in old age”) and repeat the punishment regularly (“Beat your wives for dinner, for dinner again, so that cabbage soup is hot, butter porridge”) 6 .

Recommendations on the rules for punishing a wife who, in her husband's way, "does not live to be taught and punished," are described in detail in Domostroy. It was recommended to educate the delinquent in private, "and people would not know or hear that." The severity of the punishment was supposed to depend on the size of the guilt, the degree of "disobedience, and negligence." In any case, the husband was only recommended to "politely beat him by the hand with a whip." At the same time, the husband had to observe restraint and beat "carefully" without anger. In this case, the author believed, the punishment will achieve its goal, it will be "both reasonable and painful, and scary and healthy." Upon fulfilling his marital duty, the husband was obliged to "welcome and speak to his wife" 7 .

"Domostroy" forbade even "from the heart or from the sadness" to beat the wife "in the ear, not by vision, not to beat, not under the heart with a fist, not with a kick; not to prick with a staff; not to beat with any iron or wooden", since such severity could lead to serious consequences for health: "blindness and deafness, and the arm and leg will be dislocated, and the finger, and headache, and dental disease" 8 .

The cruel truth of life

In life, husbands did not always follow these "humane" advice. Numerous sources paint a terrible picture inside family violence that reigned in Russia. V big family v educational process accepted Active participation Not only legal spouse, but also his closest relatives, most often the father. Thus, Matryonka Klimantov's daughter ran away from home "because her husband and father-in-law beat and maimed her" 9 . The peasant Grishka Popov complained that his son-in-law Vedaniy and the matchmaker Arist "not loving my daughter, beat and maimed to death without guilt" 10 .

Sometimes other relatives came to help her husband. Aksinya Guryeva, complaining about the cruelty of her son-in-law towards her daughter Natalya, wrote: "My son-in-law, keeps ... his wife, Natalya illegally: they always beat him and Ivan with his uncle and torture him without guilt" 11. And Daria Mazlykova accused her husband Shumilo and his brother Prokopiy of violence and robbery: “And he Shumilo with that brother of his with Prokopiy ... came to my yard, and me ... they wanted to kill me with logs to death ... " 12

There were egregious cases when his son became an accomplice of the head of the family. So, in the appearance of the Ustyug townsman Kuzma Popov, it was indicated that “I gave Kuzemka my stepdaughter Oleksandra ... for that Timofeev ...; and that Timofey with his son my stepdaughter ... held illegally, beat her for no reason" 13 .

As the act material shows, educational methods were also far from those recommended by Domostroy. Instead of "polite" and "careful" punishment with a whip, the letters almost always said that the wife was not only beaten, but also mutilated. So, in the already mentioned petition of Grigory Popov, the author complained that he was twice forced to take home his daughter Irinka, beaten to a pulp, and for the third time "my matchmaker Arrest ... at the sleepyhead, the right hand of the palm was torn, and from that blow the veins and fingers were dragged with a hook, no work can work; and the son of his Vedas mutilated my daughter, byuchi, - I’m weak with my hands and feet "14.

Why were the wives beaten?

What are the reasons for such a widespread domestic violence in Russia and its cruelty? Sometimes women gave cause for discontent. As Adam Olearius pointed out in his "Description of a Journey to Muscovy", based on marital conflicts there was an unworthy behavior of the wife herself: “If discontent and fights often arise between a husband and wife, then the reason is sometimes obscene and abusive words with which the wife addresses her husband ... Sometimes the reason is that wives get drunk more often than husbands or but they incur the husband's suspicion by excessive kindness to other people's husbands and boyfriends. Very often, all these reasons are found in Russian women at the same time "15.

Actual material confirms the words of Olearius. So, the foot Cossack Semeyko Luchenin "went [found] ... under the cage" his wife Oksinitsa, when "she was stealing [cheating on her husband] with a mounted Cossack with Pervushka Sidorov" 16 . And the foreman of the archery, Nefed Sidorov, complained that his wife, Ontonidka, "for her drunken theft, pawned her pearl necklace ... and another ... belly, hat and earrings, she, I don’t know where, steal weightlessly" 17.

However, much more often a woman became a victim of domestic violence without any reason on her part. Sometimes, fearing for his honor, a husband beat his wife only on suspicion of adultery. So, N.I. Kostomarov wrote that jealous husband assigned to his wife "spies from maidservants and serfs, and those, wanting to fake mercy to the master, often reinterpreted to him in the other direction every step of their mistress" 18 .

In some cases, husbands used beatings to dissolve a boring marriage by inducing their wife to become a monk. For example, Gavrilka Oleksandrov "beat and maimed with rose torments to death" his wife Tatyanitsa, until she was already "heavily pregnant" and agreed to be tonsured in a monastery. And Gavrilka himself "when he tonsured her a week later he married another wife" 19 .

Walking husbands forced their wives to pay their debts with beatings. So, a certain Abraham, a great lover gambling, "he plays with grain, plays bondage on himself, and beats and tortures his wife: he orders a scribe to go with him to those grain bondages" 20 . Husbands' drunkenness often became a problem for wives' property and safety. Ustyuzhanka Anna Osokina complained about her husband Clement, who not only drank the yard on Ustyug, "disparaged Annino's dress, and "every worldly factory ...", as soon as a drunk comes home, she "beats the poor and will mutilate death for a long time, and ... the boaster by murder "21. The spread of the practice of drunken violence in the family is also evidenced by folk sayings: "They sit at home drinking and beating their wife" 22 .

Hits harder - loves more?

In Russia, there was an idea about the relationship between the fortress of conjugal love and beatings. As an argument, the story contained in Sigismund Herberstein's "Notes on Muscovite Affairs" is usually cited. It says that a certain German blacksmith, nicknamed Jordan, married a Russian, and his wife accused him of disliking her on the grounds that Jordan had never beaten her. And as Herberstein wrote, "a little later he beat her quite severely", and later "he practiced this activity very often", until "finally he broke her neck and shins" 23 .

However, here it is worth agreeing with the opinion of Olearius, who remarked: “So that, however, Russian wives see heartfelt love in frequent beatings and scourgings, and in their absence - dislike and dislike of husbands towards themselves ... I didn’t happen to know this, and I don’t I can imagine that they love what nature and every creature abhors, and that they consider as a sign of love that which is a sign of anger and enmity ... "24 Numerous complaints of beaten wives and their relatives addressed to representatives of secular and spiritual authorities , they say that they did not see signs of any special love in the manifestation of husband's cruelty.

Numerous manifestations of unmotivated cruelty are noteworthy in the act material: "They beat and maimed to death without guilt," "they beat and torture without guilt." Most likely, the causes of domestic violence were rooted in the characteristics public relations in Russia during the period under review. The state was perceived by the ruler as a personal fiefdom, and all his subjects, regardless of their social status were considered servants of the sovereign. Similarly, in his own family, a husband could feel like a sovereign sovereign, who had the right to punish and pardon his wife, given to him in undivided power. By asserting himself at the expense of his disenfranchised wife, the man partially compensated for his flawed social position. Therefore, many heads of families in relation to their wives were guided by the principle "I will kill and whip to death, I am free over her" 25 .

Wives on the Run

As a result of inhuman treatment, wives fled from their families, preferring wandering "between the yards" to regular beatings. Thus, Matryona Gorbovskikh lived on the run for six years until she was returned to her husband, Stenka 26 . "I don't know where," after constant beatings, Ivan Mokhovik's wife Alexandra "left without weight" from the house. And her position, apparently, was so desperate that Alexandra's stepfather expressed suspicions about the possible suicide of the unfortunate woman ("into the water of a flood") 27 .

If the victim of domestic violence did not yield to her husband's demands to take the tonsure, or she did not have the strength and courage to leave the family, everything could end in serious injuries, as in the case of Irinka Popova, whom her husband mutilated so that she "became weak with her hands and feet" 28.

Sometimes the husband's threats to kill his wife were put into practice. Spouse, as N.N. Kostomarov, could beat his wife ten times a day, and then she would die slowly 29 . And could kill her immediately in a state alcohol intoxication, as did, for example, archer Eremeev 30 . There were cases when husbands deprived their wives of life in a state of passion. For example, Ivashko Dolgoy “killed his wife to death because she stole prodigally from him” 31 , and the peasant Bazhenov “because she hid two arshins of homemade cloth from him” 32 .

As for the husband's responsibility for the murder of his wife, it was mild and depended on the degree of guilt of the victim herself. So, the above-mentioned archer Yeremeev, who killed his wife for no reason, was executed by "death". And the drunken archer, who stabbed his wife "for impolite words", and the peasant Bazhenov - for hiding an arshin of cloth - killed their wives "not for a great cause", but still not without guilt on the part of the dead, therefore they were sentenced to cut off their left hand and right foot, and then transferred on bail 33 . The reason for the murder of his wife by Ivashka Dolgov seemed to the judges so respectful ("she stole from him prodigally") that "for the mortal murder" it was "inflicted on him, Ivashka, the punishment to be beaten with a whip and given on clean bail" 34 .

Thus, the Russian family of the pre-Petrine period was characterized by patriarchal-authoritarian relations, feature which was the dominance of the husband over his wife and other members of the household. The spread of domestic violence was facilitated by the almost unlimited power of the husband over his wife, often degenerating into arbitrariness, and low level legal liability for domestic violence.

1. Mironov B.N. social history Russia in the period of the empire (XVIII - early XX century). St. Petersburg, 2003. T. 1. S. 267.
2. Bible books Holy Scripture Old and New Testament. Canonical. M., 1968. S. 212.
3. Monuments of ancient Russian church teaching literature. SPb., 1897. Issue. 3. S. 119.
4. Domostroy. Sylvester's edition. SPb., 1891. S. 27-29, 38.
5. Russian legislation X-XX centuries. M., 1984. T. 1. S. 191.
6. Archive of historical and legal information relating to Russia, published by Nikolai Kalachov. M., 1854. Prince. 2. Part 2. S. 78.
7. Domostroy. pp. 37-38.
8. Ibid. S. 38.
9. Russian Historical Library. SPb., 1890. T. 12. Part 1. Stb. 858.
10. Ibid. Stb. 867.
11. Russian Historical Library. SPb., 1908. T. 25. Book. 3. Stb. 36
12. Ibid. Stb. 89.
13. Ibid. Stb. 123.
14. Russian Historical Library. T. 12. Part 1. Stb. 867.
15. Olearius A. Description of the journey to Muscovy and through Muscovy to Persia and back. SPb., 1906. S. 218-219.
16. Russian Historical Library. SPb., 1884. T. 8. Stb. 561.
17. Russian Historical Library. SPb., 1894. T. 14. Part 2. Stb. 79-80.
18. Kostomarov N.I. Essays on domestic life and customs of the Great Russian people in the 16th-17th centuries. SPb., 1860. S. 104.
19. Russian Historical Library. SPb., 1875. T. 2. Stb. 947.
20. Russian Historical Library. T. 14. Part 2. Stb. 740.
21. Russian Historical Library. T. 25. Book. 3. Stb. 305.
22. Archive of historical and legal information relating to Russia. S. 94.
23. Herberstein S. Notes on Muscovite affairs. SPb., 1908. S. 73-74.
24. Olearius A. Decree. op. pp. 219-220.
25. Russian Historical Library. T. 14. Part 2. Stb. 740.
26. Russian Historical Library. T. 12. Part 1. Stb. 858-860.
27. Russian Historical Library. T. 25. Stb. 123.
28. Russian Historical Library. T. 12. Part 1. Stb. 867-874.
29. Kostomarov N.I. Decree. op. S. 106.
30. Soloviev S.M. History of Russia since ancient times. M., 1991. Book. VII. T. 13-14. S. 127.
31. complete collection laws Russian Empire. SPb., 1830. T. 1. S. 586.
32. Soloviev S.M. Decree. op. S. 127.
33. Ibid.
34. Complete collection of laws of the Russian Empire. T.1. S. 586.

Now I know exactly what cognitive dissonance is. Recently I saw a video on the net of how two Muslim women, joking and having fun, talk about punishing (read beating) wives, implying that this is good and right, they even demonstrated how, in what cases and how exactly a man can beat his wife.

The subject of punishment tells the subject, who applies physical measures to him, how best to do it! And it's not funny!
Read for yourself.

Beating wives as punishment and edification - for the most part modern world nonsense, but not for everything. For example, for some of the followers of Islam, this is the norm. And since this phenomenon is common, then conversations about it are conducted as about any everyday issue - be it a baklava recipe or a grape pruning method. Or in books about Islamic etiquette readers are explained in detail which wife deserves a beating, what exactly she should be beaten with, where to hit her, and what to say. But it is one thing when men talk about this as the incarnations of this tradition, and quite another thing for women...

A video of a conversation between two Muslim women, where they discussed how it is right for a husband to beat his wife, appeared on Facebook about a month ago and immediately spread through the public and the media. Both women participating in the discussion agree that if a wife cheats or deceives, she can be hit, but if, for example, she refuses to cook, then it’s probably impossible for her.

Both women live in Australia. The one on the left is Rim Alluce, she's a teacher primary school at a Sydney school. Her interlocutor is Atika Latifi. Both of them belong to the radical Islamist movement "Hizb ut-Tahrir" (banned in Russia), among them men are allowed to "punish" women.

Atika Latifi demonstrates a special small stick "sivak", designed for symbolic punishment of "naughty" wives. Then they share their knowledge and experience, saying that not only it, but also a twisted scarf or a piece of cloth can be used for punishment.

"This is a symbolic act, a beautiful blessing from Allah," the apparently obedient wives assert.

At the same time, both agree that, of course, only those wives who have sinned should be punished - that is, they showed disrespect to Allah or their husband. Retribution, in their opinion, is inevitable in the following cases:
disobedience to husband
amoral behavior,
deception,
reception in the house of guests objectionable to her husband.

“Well, such an insignificant sin as an unprepared dinner should not be punished,” both agree with this.

Why does the husband have the right to impose disciplinary measures? they ask themselves and the audience. - Because he is the head of the family and should be able to restore order in it. On the part of the husband, such actions are proof that he "loves his wife and fears for her." In addition, the spouse is forbidden to immediately apply physical force. First, the wife needs to be reprimanded. If she does not correct her behavior, stop sharing a bed with her. Well, if this does not help, then you can hit her - lightly.

"A husband is allowed to hit his wife as a warning to teach her a lesson. It should not be painful or rude, it is for her own good."

The degree of such a "good" is sometimes so clearly visible on the face that the hijab does not help. In autumn, Moroccan TV hosted a story with makeup artist’s advice on how to mask traces of husband’s beatings so that they do not interfere with wives ordinary life. It turns out that bruises will not be so noticeable if you use, for example, loose powder.

Dr. Ghazi Al-Shimari, expert in family relations, Saudi Arabia:
If a husband says to his wife: "Be careful, the children are playing near the stove" or "Get the children away from the electrical outlet", and she replies: "I'm busy", then the wife can be hit with a toothbrush or something similar. Never hit her with a bottle of water, a plate or a knife - this is prohibited.

George Bousquet, author of Sex Etiquette in Islam:
Women should be beaten, yes, but there are many ways to do it: if a woman is thin, then you need to beat with a cane, if she has a powerful physique, with a fist, a plump woman with an open palm. Thus, the one who strikes will not cause damage to himself.

Abdul-Latif Mushtahiri, author of You Ask and Islam Answers:
If weaning your wife from bed does not work and your wife continues to behave disobediently, then she belongs to the type of cold and stubborn women - her character can be corrected by punishment, that is, by beating. You need to beat so as not to break the bones and not provoke bleeding. Many wives have a similar character, and only this way can bring them to their senses.

Ghassan Asha, author of the book "On the subjection of women in Islam":
The husband has the right to corporal punishment in relation to the wife in cases where she:
- Refuses to do anything to look attractive to her husband.
- Refuses to satisfy his sexual needs.
- Leaves the house without permission.
- Neglects his religious duties.
The instrument of punishment (rod) should be kept in plain sight so that your wife can always see it.

I understand traditions, respect, but, good gentlemen, we live in the 21st century, people have gathered on Mars, how is it possible ...

According to materials:

“In this chapter, I will tell you what to do if a woman who has the good fortune to be your wife goes the wrong way. The correct path of such a woman has four components: humility, modesty, awe of her husband and awareness of the calling of mother and wife. All these components give rise to humility in marriage, and marriage, as you know, is the basis of society and the structure of the world.

If your wife is rebellious, willful in speech, has abandoned household and child-rearing, refuses to perform marital duties, or treats your parents without respect, then she may be considered as having gone astray and should receive physical punishment, as livestock who go out for pasture limits. Truly I say to you: a woman who follows the wrong path must be punished by her husband and thereby returned to the right path.

Problems with obedience and unworthy behavior of your wife arise for two main reasons, the first of which is your connivance and gentleness with her, and the second is the connivance and gentleness of her parents and, above all, her father. If the father was excessively kind to his daughter, and she did not know the rod, but only affection and all-permissiveness, then she becomes a rebellious wife who does not recognize the supremacy of a man. Marriage with such a woman promises only disappointment. Your own connivance and gentleness come from the fact that in your family the father was not a shepherd over a woman, but only part of the flock. And even worse, if he allowed your mother to be a shepherd - to dominate the family, determine where to spend money and how to raise children. There are now those families in which mothers are allowed to raise their hands against boys. A good father will hit such a hand with a rod, because a boy who was punished by his mother cannot grow up to be a man.

Only a blind man does not see that a woman is lower than a man, and if you are one of those, then I will give you three main reasons that speak of the headship of a father and husband over a wife and daughter: first of all, the husband is higher than his wife because on the marital bed he gives from yourself. The second is that a woman lives by emotion, and a man by thought. The brain of a man is larger and it is he who has the right to think and determine the path. The third reason is that a man is stronger in body, which means that it is he who gets food, builds a house and protects a woman. Treating a woman as an equal is like encouraging the independence of a cat that eats from its owner's bowl.

A woman should invest her efforts in pleasing her husband with her beauty, performing marital duties, housekeeping, raising children and helping her husband in his affairs. The time remaining from these duties, a woman can devote to some business that brings her joy, such as doing art, reading religious literature or talking with smart people. A wise husband will not encourage his wife to associate with friends, especially with those who have no children or indulge in an idle lifestyle.

Now I will tell you about how to punish a woman who has gone astray, namely, who does not invest her best efforts in family well-being or who contradicts her husband and is wayward. Do not resort to physical punishment immediately. To begin with, you should make a list of what does not suit your husband - is it done poorly or ignored. Maybe the wife does not meet her husband in a smart dress, walks in the morning without putting on makeup, does not consider it necessary to take off her husband's clothes when he enters the house. The same goes for washing the husband's feet and even bringing home shoes for him. Many husbands don’t even know what real caress and care are, because wives are not passionate about taking care of them, but about their own affairs, which start from gossip with girlfriends to idle shopping or sitting on social networks. Active concern for a man should occupy a woman. It is in this that she can reach the pinnacle of her development, if she is lucky enough to have that husband who will show her the right path.

A good husband, who practices consistency and thoroughness in his actions, may have a question: on what parts of the body and how to beat his wife? It is impossible to foresee all options, but there are at least two types of women and two types of blows. Thin women, whom, in my opinion, the Creator sends to punish men, should be beaten with sharp and light blows. Full, possessing real oriental beauty, rare, slow, but heavy blows should be applied. You should never hit a woman with your hand. Firstly, you can damage your hand, and secondly, a man's hand should not be associated with pain in a woman.

In no case should you beat a woman in the following places: face and back of the head, stomach - especially in the lower part, lower back, as well as forearms, hands, legs and shins. And in particular, men often ask me why you shouldn't hit your wife in the lower back? To which I answer: a wife punished in this way hardly does housework, for example, washes floors and washes clothes, and she also cannot lift weights and bring home shoes to a man. As for the forearms, hands, legs and shins, these are open parts that should delight the male gaze, and not frighten him with bruises. Strikes should be on the buttocks, upper arms and back, hips. You should not chase your wife around the house with shouts and insults, such behavior is unworthy of a man. To begin with, you should approach her and politely ask her to accept the punishment by squatting or all fours. The wife must first remove the dress, or lower its upper or lower part. If she resists, then one should very carefully, but strongly twist her hands and possibly fix them with a string, after which, having previously bowed her to the floor or carefully holding her head between her knees, punish her with a rod.

Men also ask how many blows can be applied? I answer that in any case the number of blows should not exceed one blow for two years of the wife's life. In no case should you demand silence from her, give her the opportunity to cry and scream. This rule applies to the next two hours after the punishment. However, if after this time the cries and tears do not stop, it is worth demanding silence from the woman, and if she does not hear such a demand, punish again. I will add that the path of educating a wife who has gone astray is a very big test for her husband, requiring a lot of strength from him. However, it is worth it, because we know many women who, having received what was due, began to live in humility, modesty and humility.

Shaykh Khifir al-Siddih, Instructions for Young Men, ch. eighteen.

“Women should be beaten, yes, but there are many ways to do it: if a woman is thin, then you need to beat with a cane, if she has a powerful physique, with a fist, a chubby woman with an open palm. Thus, the one who beats will not injure himself ."- some Islamic figure.

"It's all about impunity.
The same problem with women who consider themselves in the right to run into men, because "women can not be beaten!". At the same time, they do not understand that by starting a physical confrontation they deduce themselves from this legal framework. However, it happens that women can offend more with words than with deeds, and get for it already with deeds.- a commenter from a previous post.

One of my acquaintances claimed that he hit his wife once in his life, slapped his bottom with a slipper, like, not so much painful as insulting.
Then I accidentally found out that his wife regularly went around with a bloody nose, then with a cut eyebrow, spent the night with a neighbor, ran away from home. I got it from that neighbor.

Another acquaintance of mine was more frank: he did not see anything wrong with hitting his wife if, in his opinion, she behaved "somehow wrong." That is, beat "in educational purposes".

My third acquaintance, talking about how in married couple friends wife left her husband, sincerely did not understand why she did it. I asked if they were all right. Maybe he beat her?
- Yes, he did not fuck her! - an acquaintance exploded indignantly. And he continued after a short pause:
- Hey, no, well, everything happened, of course, but it didn’t happen often!
- Ahh, that is, did beat? I clarified.
- Oh, yes, what are you starting! - he said. - It's so clean, three or four times a year, give a f*ck to a woman so that she doesn't buzz - what is that, f*ck, is called ?!

No matter how it is said that women should not be beaten under any circumstances, but ...
Men sometimes think that there is nothing wrong with hitting your wife, for example.
For educational purposes.
For edginess.
Offended.
I brought it.
Just.

By the word "beat" I mean both the classic "fist", and slaps, slaps, cuffs, etc., that is, any physical impact of any force.

I do not want to write long posts on this topic, and… what can I say.
It exists and it happens.

So I'll just ask a few questions.
For men:
Do you think that under certain circumstances a woman can be hit?
- under what?
What should a woman do to get you to raise your hand to her?
Is it permissible to hit a woman in response to physical aggression on her part, if, for example, she was the first to raise her hand to you? what if she just insulted you with words?
Do you think it is acceptable to beat your wife "for educational purposes" or "to be obedient"?
Have you ever hit women? under what circumstances?

And for women:
Do you think that under certain circumstances you can beat women?
What should a woman do for this?
-did men beat you?
In what situations did this happen?

Since the topic is somewhat sensitive, I understand that not everyone will have the courage to answer honestly on their own behalf.
Therefore, you can log out and leave comments anonymously, I will open them, they will also be visible.
And yes, I ask you to be honest.
________