Addressing people to each other. Speech etiquette. Address and greetings. How to start a conversation. How to end a conversation. What to avoid in conversation. Here are some examples
In a very compact and laconic form, the main options for addressing people on the street and in various institutions are collected: after reading, you will learn how to address a teacher and a doctor, a military and a clergyman, a waiter and a random person on the street.
Dmitry Gorodetsky, editor
Are there analogues in Russian for "sir", "mister" and "madam"?
No. There is no neutral form of address in modern Russian. Therefore, the most universal option is the impersonal form: for example, “be kind”, “sorry”, “excuse me” (sorry, are you leaving?). As universal form in Russia, the terms “girl” and “young man” are often used, but when dealing with older people this sounds at least strange. Many people think what to name, for example, elderly woman a girl - this is polite, but in fact, a person can be embarrassed by such an appeal. In a sense, "man" and "woman" (man, you dropped your wallet!) Can be considered universal option, but such an appeal - solely on the basis of gender - can hardly be called successful. The pre-revolutionary versions of the address - "sir" or "young lady" - look inappropriate in modern language. To some it may seem sophisticated, but to many it is pretentious and even vulgar.
Why is there no neutral language in Russian?
Because the language changes with society. For example, before the 1917 revolution, there were neutral appeals "sir" and "master" (although it is difficult to call them universal - the peasants were not called masters). The system of appeals before the revolution strictly corresponded to the “Table of Ranks”: for example, persons in grades 9-14 were called “your honor”, and those in grades 1-2 were called “your Excellency”. After the Bolshevik coup, these appeals (for obvious reasons) could not exist. The form “comrade” adopted in the USSR was completely neutral, but it almost disappeared along with the Soviet regime - after perestroika, the word “comrade” was too clearly visible in the ideology. The same fate befell analogs in the former socialist countries (for example, the word Genosse adopted in the GDR). The address "citizen", which has existed in Russian since the time of Peter I, has never been particularly popular in everyday life. In the USSR, this word was usually used by representatives of the state in relation to ordinary people(citizen, come on). Some researchers believe that it is for this reason that this form did not take hold in Everyday life after the restructuring. An attempt to mechanically replace “comrades” with “masters” in post-Soviet Russia failed, no new forms appeared, and this, according to popular opinion, reflects the situation in society: since a person does not have a clear understanding of who he is in relation to the state and other members of society, it is natural that there is no neutral name for itself.
How to contact the clergy?
If you are an atheist, and you do not want to go into the details of the church hierarchy, it is permissible to address the clergy as ordinary people - by name, patronymic and "you". If you do not know the person's name, the polite impersonal forms remain. On the other hand, it is not necessary to be a believer in order to name a clergyman as is customary within the confession. For example, Orthodox priests are usually called "father" (father is such and such), deacons - "father deacon", bishops - "lord", patriarch - "your Holiness." Catholic priests should also be called “Father”, bishops “Your Eminence”, cardinals “Your Eminence”. The Pope, like the Orthodox Patriarch, should be called "Your Holiness." Muslim clerics can be called "khazrat" (wise, educated person). A rabbi can be called "rabbi", "rav" (senior, respected person), "rabbi" (my rabbi) or "adoni" (lord).
How to contact the military and police?
Among the military and police, the forms of address "comrade" and "citizen" have been preserved. You can choose one of the equal forms: "citizen policeman" or "fellow policeman". Or, if we are talking about the military, to the word "comrade" - this is a statutory appeal in the army - you need to add military rank interlocutor (comrade sergeant, comrade private). But in general, there is no strict rule that civilians should in any special way address the military and police, so you can get by with the usual polite "sorry".
How to contact government officials?
In a letter to any official, you can address both by name and patronymic, and by indicating only his position. However, it is better to write both: so there is a higher chance that your appeal will not be endlessly redirected or even left unanswered. When meeting in person, civil servants can be addressed by name and patronymic or by the position of the interlocutor, adding the word "lord" (mister prefect, mister mayor). In courts, the appeal depends on what kind of process - in civil and arbitration proceedings it is customary to appeal not to the judge, but to the court as a whole: "respected court" (with the permission of the judge, deviations are allowed). In criminal proceedings, the presiding judge is addressed "your honor."
How to contact researchers and doctors?
Unlike many countries, in Russia it is not customary to call researchers by their academic title or degree. The phrase "associate professor, tell me" sounds at least strange, the same applies to the widespread call "doctor" abroad. The exception is "professor". Such an appeal sounds appropriate, although some scholars take it ironically. It is important to understand that in Russian, unlike, for example, English or Spanish, “professor” is not a synonym for the word “teacher”, but a position or academic title that not every lecturer has. It is customary to contact doctors by name and patronymic, but if you do not have time to find out them, it is polite to call the doctor "doctor".
How to contact the waiters?
V recent times this problem is not so acute in Russian cafes and restaurants, because many waiters have name badges. Probably, it is better to use the form that is indicated - if the name is on the badge, then it is worth calling the waiter by the full name. If you need to call the waiter, the best way- catch his eye and raise your hand. Many waiters take offense at clicking fingers, not to mention the loud "girl", "man!" and "waiter!" The main thing in communicating with the waiters is to remember: this person is not a servant.
How did we prepare this manual?
This instruction was compiled on the basis of open sources and recommendations of the staff of the Institute of Linguistics of the Russian State University for the Humanities, the Department of Russian Language Stylistics of the Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University, the Department of Judaic Studies at ISAA Moscow State University, the Institute of Russian Language of the Russian Academy of Sciences and a teacher in business communications and business etiquette of the State University of Management.
Addressing in a business letter - important condition establishing and maintaining trusting relationship between partners. How to comply fine line between familiarity and ingratiation? How can you show respect to your partner while maintaining your dignity? The rules for handling business correspondence are described in this article.
From the article you will learn:
The main task of speech etiquette is the expression of politeness, respect and sincere intentions. Even the smallest manifestation of tactlessness and incorrectness in the choice of expressions can play a cruel joke with the author letters and hack at the root of the beginning of mutually beneficial cooperation.
It is a well-known fact that some requests are fulfilled with pleasure, and some - through force. Two requests that are identical in meaning can only be distinguished by the form of expression, the presence of several seemingly insignificant words and appeals, and the results of these requests will be diametrically opposite: a decisive refusal and unconditional consent. What's the secret?
Formal appeal in a letter
Such "insignificant" elements for an inexperienced person in a business letter are the forms of addressing a business partner. The conversion is the beginning of the message, the final part of the message. Together they form the etiquette frame of the letter, the function of which is to establish and maintain contact with the addressee.
Sometimes, even before contacting, the text uses a standard form of greeting. It is important to make a few points here.
No "Good time"
Despite its prevalence in everyday correspondence, in business written communication it is inadmissible to use the expression "Good day!" Don't be under the illusion that the addressee will appreciate your ingenuity and desire to match the "time of day" of the addressee's time zone.
Once upon a time, when the Internet had just appeared, some person decided to joke and turned to his readers "Good day!" e-mails... A joke repeated twice becomes stupidity. Do not replicate it in your business correspondence, do not present yourself as a cheap humorist at the very beginning of communication.
If you do not know at what time your message will be read, write simply, without fuss: "Hello" and "Good afternoon".
How to write an appeal in a letter
After the standard greeting, add a message to the addressee. There may be several options, the choice of which depends on the degree of closeness of your relationship, the purpose of the letter and the information about the addressee that you have. Let's consider all of them.
If you know the name of the person you are writing to, then it is preferable to use that. There are a number of rules to follow.
Even if you are in a very trusting relationship with a business partner, the use of the truncated form of the name is strictly prohibited. You can't write "Good afternoon, Sash" or "Hello, An". What is appropriate in oral speech, in writing, looks wretched and humiliating to the addressee. If you really want to emphasize your trusting relationship and want to use the unofficial "Sasha" or "Anya" instead of the official names "Alexander" or "Anna", then use them in their full form.
Use of informal names
Of course, the use of unofficial names is a fairly rare case for business correspondence. Most often used here full names or names with patronymics. Choice correct option is not always obvious. Be guided by the information that the addressee himself provided about himself. Usually it can be retrieved from a business card, from the "From" / "From" field in electronic letters or from the building block with contact information at the end of the text. For example, in business card and in the signature the person we are addressing indicated his name without a patronymic - "Alexey Smirnov". In this case, we address him like this: "Hello, Alexey!" If he indicated his name "Alexey Nikolaevich Smirnov", then write "Hello, Alexey Nikolaevich!"
Sometimes it happens that the name "Alexey Smirnov" is indicated in the "From" field:
Subject: Supply of equipment
Date: Mon, 15 May 2017
From: Alexey Smirnov
To: Nikolay Stepanov
And in the contact information block - "Alexey Nikolaevich Smirnov":
Sincerely,
Alexey Nikolaevich Smirnov
Account Manager
LLC "Voskhod"
In this case, you need to choose the option with a middle name. The logic here is that the addressee of your letter thought out the block with contact information in advance and compiled it with his own hand, he could enter the information in the "From whom" field automatically or not himself, but entrust it to an IT specialist of his company. In any case, if you see a name with a patronymic somewhere - on a business card or in a signature - then contact by name and patronymic.
Sometimes situations arise when you need to write a letter a person whose name you do not know. In such cases, you will have to use the standard "Hello!" or "Good afternoon!" If the situation permits, you can make this appeal more personalized and name the addressee according to his belonging to a certain class of people, for example: "Dear colleague", "subscriber", "user of our service".
Read also:
Letter of appeal to the head
When contacting a manager, it is important to follow the standard and generally accepted forms.
The appeal is located in the middle of the letter and is written with capital letter... It must contain an indication of the position, surname or name and patronymic. When addressing a manager, it is generally accepted to use the word "respected":
The word "respected" in relation to a leader is preferred, but not the only option. There is a standard formula for addressing a very important person, i.e. VIP (very important person). Who is one of them? These are members of the government State Duma, governors, mayors, honored workers of science, art, as well as famous public figures. When you address a letter to such persons, then instead of the word "respected" you should use the words "highly respected" or "highly respected".
Using an exclamation mark
A separate question is to use Exclamation point at the end of the call or not. If you attach to the fact of writing a message to this person special meaning or the question at issue is very important to you, then you can put an exclamation mark. In any case, its absence will not be considered a mistake.
If you are addressing not one person, but a whole group, then the appeal "Dear Sirs!" Is appropriate. At writing a letter it is permissible to use the formula "Dear colleagues!" to persons of the same profession and equal in position.
Sometimes the question arises which form of address is better to choose - "Dear Mr. Smirnov" or "Dear Alexey Nikolaevich". The rule here is. If the letter is of an official nature and relations with a partner are just getting better, then the first option is more appropriate, when the relationship has already been established, then the second can be used.
The final part of the letter
An equally important part of the letter of appeal to the head is the final part. Receiving positive feedback on your proposal, the establishment and maintenance of trusting relationships depend not only on competent treatment, but also on a competent ending. In the final part, the prospects for cooperation should be outlined, business relationship, project implementation, a positive solution to the issue. In this part, it is appropriate to express hope, approval, appreciation, confidence.
It is not necessary at the end of the letter to remind about the past negative moments, if any. For example, you did not receive a response in time or did not receive it at all. Reminding them of this can cause negative reactions or be viewed as a sign of disrespect.
Any business letter ends with a signature. Be sure to indicate your position, first and last name. Before doing this, you can insert a standard labeling formula:
"Sincerely". Possible options: "Sincerely yours", "With hope for productive cooperation", "With gratitude for cooperation", etc.
It is especially important to take into account the position of the addressee and the addressee when placing a signature. If the message is addressed to the CEO, then it must also be signed general manager, as a last resort - his deputy. Of course, the signature must correspond to its decryption: the situation is unacceptable when a slash is put next to the director's surname, and the signature itself is put by his deputy.
The postscript is rarely used in business correspondence. A special case- the need to inform the person to whom the message is addressed, some important news that happened after and at the time of writing the letter. An option is also possible when there is a need to inform the addressee of some information indirectly related to the main subject of the letter.
Apps are also optional part of the letter... If they are, then it is important to pay attention that in business correspondence applications are drawn up in separate sheets and are also numbered separately. There are no specific standard rules for designing applications.
Communication begins with a competent address. According to the rules of communication etiquette, you can address your closest ones and children under the age of 18 (according to some sources, you are supposed to say “you”). All other people, even strangers who are the same age as you, should be addressed as “you”.
The rules of etiquette are prescribed to switch to "you", to call a relative or friend by name and patronymic in the presence of strangers. Sometimes it is inappropriate in society to demonstrate familiarity or family relationships.
It is necessary to move from the address "you" to "you" tactfully. It is good when a woman or an older woman (position) takes the initiative in this regard.
When mentioning someone in a conversation, do not talk about them in the third person. Instead of "he" or "she", it is better to call them by name and patronymic. For example, "Alexander Petrovich asked to convey ..." or "Anna Sergeevna will be waiting for you ..."
Usually, depending on the circumstances, use the following types appeal:
- Official (citizen, madam, lord; in individual cases with titles and titles);
- Informal (usually by name, more often by "you");
- Without a personal appeal (when you are forced to turn to a person unfamiliar with some kind of request - the phrases "I beg your pardon", "allow", "tell me", etc. will help)
In no case should you address a person - "man" or "woman", "grandfather" or "boy". Representatives of the service sector are used to calling them "girls". But this is not according to etiquette - in the West, in this way they refer exclusively to prostitutes. Therefore, be careful - it is better to prefer impersonal treatment.
If you get your name mixed up or stumbled in a conversation, enough
The distance between the interlocutors plays an important role in communication. For people unfamiliar or business partners optimal distance - 2 outstretched arms... Moreover, each interlocutor has the opportunity to get out of the conversation - no one blocks the passage of anyone and does not hold the button or lapel of his jacket.
When communicating, it is important to choose the right topic of conversation. It is unacceptable to indulge in long-lasting memories, stories about one's affairs, conduct a long monologue, focus on children, dreams, habits, tastes, health problems, gossip.
Talk about those present - bad taste, this can provoke an embarrassing situation.
If you notice that the conversation is clearly unpleasant to the interlocutor, apologize briefly and transfer the conversation to another, more neutral plane.
Show of disrespect - speak in a language or jargon that is incomprehensible to others, including professional slang. By the way, having met a lawyer or a doctor at a party, do not ask - this is blatant tactlessness! It is better to arrange a separate meeting in their office to clarify the issue.
In an uninteresting or tiring conversation, it is good form not to show displeasure, irritation, impatience in order to interrupt the conversation. It is also not customary to interrupt the speaker, to make comments to him.
Funny stories, anecdotes are appropriate in small amount and preferably in the topic of conversation.
Obviously watching a person or looking at him intently, especially when he is eating, is indecent according to the rules of etiquette.
Manners. Terms of reference.Have you ever wondered how we now address each other? For example: in public transport, on the street, in stores, on the phone, and finally on the Internet, in letters, on forums. My opinion is that our appeal to each other was somehow limited by gender and age. You can often hear: "Man"! "Young woman!" "Female"! Young man "! But there is also" Hey you "!! etc.
RULES OF HANDLING
Neither work, nor social status, nor experienced trouble, nor bad condition health does not give us the right to be impolite with others. Even orders can be given in a polite tone - calmly, efficiently, gently and at the same time categorically.
You should also follow a number of rules when contacting someone.
We use two forms of address: "you" and "you". In England, for example, there is only one form, in Romania there were even three forms of address. In Sweden and Poland, it is not considered polite enough to address strangers, especially elders or bosses, with “you”, for this they use the form of a third person, for example: “Does the doctor want to help me?”, “Can I see the mistress?” etc.
The form of addressing a person depends on the circumstances. Whether this person is your friend, boss, subordinate or even casual passers-by, turning to "you" will in no way humiliate you.
In Russian, for greater politeness, the surname, name, and patronymic or title are added to the pronoun "you". For example: “Comrade director, you are asked to speak on the phone”, or “Please, comrade Berezin, they are waiting for you,” or “Ivan Ivanovich, can you help me?”.
The address "comrade" or "respected comrade" is anonymous and in no way expresses sufficient respect. It can only be used when addressing a stranger whose name you do not know, for example, on the street, on a train, in a store, etc.
In closer relationships, a person is called by name or first name and patronymic, before which, of course, the word "comrade" is not used.
When it comes to the third person, it is not customary to use only the pronoun. One should not say “he knows,” but “Comrade Ivanov knows,” or between peers - “Ivan knows” or “Ivanov can.”
From the child you need with early childhood demand polite treatment and teach him how to do it. Not only in relation to strangers, but also about a father, mother and even a brother or sister, one should not allow oneself to say "he" and "she": one should say "mother asked to convey", and not "she said", or "father, busy now ", not" he is busy. "
It is even less polite in the presence of the person whom they are talking about to use the generalized names "man", "man", "woman".
Conversation takes on a friendlier, warmer and more polite tone if you insert appeals into the conversation from time to time. For example, like this: "Yes, you are right, Ivan Petrovich ..." When addressing one of the spouses, they say about the other not "Your husband", "Your wife", but "Your spouse", "Your wife". When talking about your own spouse, it is not necessary to adhere to this rule. You could say, "My husband is at work right now." Expressions such as "my old woman", "my old man", and in relation to children - "boy" sound rude, even offensive.
Some young people have developed bad habit address strangers with the words "daddy", "mommy", "aunty", "uncle", "granny", etc. I went to call my acquaintances in this way and behind the backs. If men who turn to women, according to their concepts, are very cordial: "kitty", "birdie", "mouse", "hare", etc. such words can only be used intimately, and even then only if they are pleasing to the one to whom they are addressed. When presiding over a meeting or giving a lecture, those present should be addressed as "Dear Hearers" or "Dear Comrades."
The form of address to "you" speaks of a closer relationship with a person. "You" - means respect that arose for someone on the basis of camaraderie, friendship or love. Respect is expressed in the form of care and attention to the other. When using the "you" form, you should be no less, and sometimes more polite than when addressing "you".
When, in the midst of a quarrel, someone switches from "you" to "you" this will by no means humiliate the enemy, and, moreover, will not show your superiority, but only lack of restraint and bad manners.
In our country, it is customary that family members and other close relatives speak "you" to each other. In most cases, employees, colleagues, friends turn to each other on "you".
It is natural that children say "you" to each other. Adults say "you" to them until they become teenagers. The moment you need to turn to your old acquaintance, childhood friend or fellow practitioner, you should rely, first of all, on your feelings. If you used to have warm and friendly relations, and at the meeting was noticeable mutual joy, it is natural that "you" will fly off your lips. But if before there was no contact between you and there was no need for it, then it would be more correct to turn to “you”.
In general, there are no rules when and under what circumstances you can switch to "you". It entirely depends on the nature of the people, and often on the environment. The transition to "you" can be offered only by the senior to the junior and the boss to the subordinate. In relations between a man and a woman, only a woman can allow speaking "you", and a man can only ask for such a form of address.
Having mastered the basics of communication and appeal, you can become a full-fledged member of society and be a welcome member of any company. You need to strive for the ideal, so you should not stop halfway, you need to make your way and improve your knowledge. Kirill Kulygin
Business Etiquette: "Mr. Chief, may I contact you?"
We will call a familiar person by first name, first name, patronymic or last name. When addressing by surname, the words "mister" or "mistress" are required, for example, "Mrs. Sokolova", but in no case should you simply address "Sokolova". By the way, if you name a person by his position or profession, you must also use the word "lord". For example, "Mr. Director", "Mr. Professor", "Mr. Doctor".
How to address a stranger correctly? The Russian language has never had a neutral word suitable for addressing a person of any class. In other languages, such appeals live for centuries: Madame and Monsieur, Sir, Fraulein, Frau, Herr, Signora, Signor, and so on, and in Russia, before the Revolution, appeals between people were very diverse. The most respectful and official formula was "gracious sir" and "gracious empress", which had a strict, cold shade... This is how official documents began.
In his famous dictionary, Vladimir Ivanovich Dal points to the variants and gradations: "Our fathers wrote to the higher: the merciful sir, to the equal - my merciful sir, and to the lower - my sovereign."
In common parlance, this form of address was simplified into "sovereign", and then the first syllable and "sir" were discarded, "madam" became the usual form appeals to wealthy and educated people.
In our time, there are no generally accepted forms of address, and to to a stranger It is most correct to address impersonally, with the words "I beg your pardon", "be kind", "allow". You can address "sir" or "madam", but we must remember that these appeals are used only in the singular and without a surname. You cannot say "sir Ivanov." Let us recall, by the way, that the address "master", on the contrary, cannot be used without a surname or position.
When addressing several people at once, they say "gentlemen", but in no case should one say "ladies and gentlemen". This is an incorrect expression - tracing paper from English "ladies and gentlemen", that is, "noble ladies and noble men." In Russian, the word "gentlemen" refers to persons of both sexes at once, like, for example, "comrades" or "citizens" (we do not say "comrades and comrades" or "citizens and citizens").
Etiquette- this is a set of rules of behavior in which one way or another manifests a person's attitude towards other people. Etiquette has a pronounced situational character. The need to choose one or another word, gesture or some other etiquette sign is primarily due to a specific situation. Etiquette situations can be associated either with everyday communication, or with festive events, performing certain rituals, or with special circumstances such as receiving a guest or a dinner party. What are the rules of treatment in the world of human relations? How to address a person correctly? To a friend, to a boss, to a stranger or a woman. Such situations happen all the time, when we constantly need to choose one or another option for communication. So, consider some practical advice relatively general norms and the rules of circulation in our culture.
Types of addressing each other
- Official;
- Friendly;
- Familiar.
- If you work with your close friends or relatives, then of course, when communicating with them in an official setting in the presence of strangers, it is necessary to use "you" and it is better to call each other by first name and patronymic.
- If someone calls you impolite and extremely unpleasant for you, for example, “Hey, you!”, You should not respond to this response, you can ignore it. It is also not necessary to resort to moralizing, you can teach him a lesson by your behavior.
- When, during a quarrel, one of the participants goes to "you", thereby trying to humiliate the enemy, this is by no means a demonstration of his superiority, but on the contrary, a person shows his true features: bad manners, hot temper and lack of patience. It is certainly hard to hold back when being rude, but be above that. Believe me, your calmness and poise will do the trick: the rude person will feel his inadequacy and weakness in relation to you.
- If in any new team for you everyone turns to each other on "you", and you are used to "you", it is worth accepting the rules of the team, and not dictating your own. But before you switch to "you", it is recommended to first address your colleagues to "you". If you have been corrected, feel free to use "you", but if not, then you must use "you".
- When telling someone about people, it is not customary to talk about them in the third person - "he" or "she". Even when speaking of close relatives, the name should be used.