Dependence on public opinion. How to get rid of public influence

Forget the opinion of others

Good afternoon, dear blog readers, today I propose to talk about public opinion and see how the opinions of other people affect us.

Unfortunately, our life has ceased to depend on us in many ways. We are in a web of confused connections and opinions that paralyze our movement. These are many people today. People have ceased to trust themselves, but they listen to others with great attention and honor. All this affects self-esteem and loss of individuality in this raging XXI century.

Roy Jones (Jr.) once said: "If I listen to others, then I will cease to be myself." From childhood, we were taught to listen to the opinions of others: if we are praised, it means that we did something good, they liked us, if, on the contrary, they scold, it means that we did something not worthy of approval. Thus, we, of our own free will, became prisoners of public opinion. We began to spend a lot of nerves to please others with our behavior, appearance and in words, but in the process we forget what we ourselves wanted.

People who are too dependent on other people's opinions are doomed to self-reliance and self-doubt. Any look, any word of others is able to bring them out of balance and become a cause. Such people often have an inferiority complex and it is more difficult for them to find their way in life. The worst thing in this case is the conscious renunciation of freedom in society, which is called conformism ... Conformity is characterized by various forms compliance when a person believes that his opinion is wrong only because the majority of those around him think wrong. turns into a gray lump, equipped with an arsenal of social stereotypes and thoughts.

The main way solutions: self-esteem formation and correction. Analyze how important the opinion of others is to you and whether you are being manipulated too much. Set boundaries on certain areas where public opinion is unimportant and unnecessary to you.

There are a few great ways find yourself in the stream of other people's advice:

1. Understand simple truth: it is impossible to please everyone. Produce good impression there is neither enough nor patience for all acquaintances, friends and relatives. If you like that gorgeous red dress and your great aunt says it looks too vulgar, don't rush to cancel your purchase. Take a closer look at it, contact a knowledgeable consultant.
2. Keep your balance. While adhering to your own opinion, do not forget that it can also be wrong. Find out the opinion of others, compare it with yours and find the golden mean.
3. Define the spheres. Establish those parts of your life where it is worth paying attention to public opinion, and where the choice depends only on you. Turn to specialists and professionals, their advice will be more useful.
4. Conquer your fear. To depend on the opinions of others is nothing more and nothing less than revealing the most common fear. Fear of being misunderstood, condemned, fear of seeing malice in the eyes of others, of being humiliated. Believe me, having your own opinion, you inspire others with trust and respect. Don't be afraid to say no.
5. Decide on your goals. A person who knows exactly what he wants in life will never be led astray by the evidence and reproaches of others. He clearly sees the meaning in what he does.

Is the person about whom everyone speaks positively happy? Honestly, I don’t think so. Everyone likes it - it's the same as wearing a fake mask. There are no ideal people, but there are those who are not ashamed to admit it and proudly carry their own individual style through life.

It is impossible to be completely free from society. There are rules of conduct among people that are customary to observe: everyone well-mannered person will not raise his voice in the walls of a public place and use obscene words in speech, will not go out naked on the street, and will stand in line at the store. However, for some individuals, the dependence on public opinion is too strong and comes to the fore, changing the line of behavior. Why is this happening and is it possible to get rid of the constant obsessive thoughts about what people will say?

Someone else's opinion affects every person in one way or another.

Defining the problem

Allodoxophobia - such a term in psychology is called the fear of being condemned by society, both close and unfamiliar people... This leads to the fact that a person does not act as he would like. It starts with small things like the choice of clothes and pours into global ones. How many spouses, unhappy in marriage, do not get divorced because of fears of becoming objects of gossip of others. There are two particularly close groups of people whose opinion is so important to a dependent person.

1. Parents. It happens that overly persistent guardianship makes a weak-willed person out of a child, unable to make decisions on his own and constantly looking back at the reaction of relatives. The sons and daughters of such powerful parents usually do not marry for a long time, since their choice must first of all be approved by the mother and father. The choice of the future specialty is also assigned to the parents, and the interests of the teenager are not always taken into account.
2. Friends. From an early age we have given great value what classmates, children from the yard, etc. will say. Children are sometimes cruel, they still do not know the sense of tact and they almost always say what they think. Therefore, since childhood, every person has a fear of being ridiculed by their peers, and over the years, many continue to adjust their actions to the criteria established by the closest circle of friends.

Colleagues, bosses, neighbors can also act as authorities. You need to take into account the opinions of others, but you should make decisions about your life yourself. Suspiciousness can lead to the fact that a person will miss something important in their life, fearing to be judged.

There are times when there is a so-called reverse reaction. A person deliberately challenges society, showing that he absolutely does not care about its foundations.

This is mainly typical for adolescents. Such an extreme is not very good, because the decision is made in the heat of the moment and is contrary to the interests of the individual himself. Often the challenge is expressed in boorish behavior that is contrary to the norms of etiquette. It is worth noting that dependence on other people's opinions and reactions forces a person to keep himself within limits. For some individuals, the fear of public condemnation saves them from rash and illegal acts.

Causes of allodoxophobia

The reasons for the development of dependence on public opinion should be sought in childhood:

• complexes;
• fears;
• relationship with parents.

The mother and father can inspire the child that the main thing is the approval of others, publicly besiege the child for a wrong action, and often appeal with the words “not allowed” and “indecent”. Infantilism and inconsistency in decision-making, low self-esteem also influence the formation of fear of the reaction of society. The consequence is:

• constant feeling of anxiety;
• developing depression;
• inability to live your own life and defend your opinion.

The person becomes passive and is afraid to commit independent step for fear of condemnation and criticism.

The patient lives in constant fear of receiving the disapproval of others.

Overcoming the complex

One day you realize that listening and following blindly are two different phenomena and decide to get rid of your suspiciousness. Is it realistic to do this? Psychological ailments are no less serious problems than physical ones, and require a competent approach to their resolution.

1. People are much more concerned about their own lives than outsiders. You don't need to think that everyone around is doing nothing but discussing your persona. After commenting on something, gossipers will immediately forget about it. Self-sufficient people will not crawl into the soul of a stranger.
2. Act so that you are not ashamed in front of yourself, live according to your conscience. You have the right to take any action in relation to your own life, as long as it does not contradict the law and does not harm others.
3. You need to want to overcome your dependence on someone else's word, to realize that it is mental quality pulls you down. It is advisable to consult with qualified psychologist because the problem is based on low self-esteem and lack of confidence in their own competence. Work on yourself and learn to value your personality.
4. Lay out your fears. What are you afraid of hearing from others? When these fears are spoken out loud, they will no longer seem so terrifying to you.

Working on suspiciousness and analyzing your complexes will become a spiritual impetus. It's never too late to improve.

"Loyalty and treason"

110. Can a dream be changed?

"Indifference and responsiveness"

210. Why is indifference dangerous?

"Goals and Means"

"Courage and cowardice"

"Human and society"

Central Federal District, Southern Federal District, Northwestern Federal District, Volga Federal District, North Caucasian Federal District, Crimean Federal District

111. When can betrayal be forgiven?
201. What actions of a person speak of his responsiveness?
305. Is happiness built on the misfortune of others possible?
403. How does courage differ from recklessness?
508. Is public opinion wrong?

Volga Federal District

Udmurt Republic, Samara region

113. Can there be an excuse for treason?
209. When is indifference ostentatious?
311. Do you agree with the statement of B.L. Pasternak: "We must set ourselves tasks above our strength"?
405. What role can a cowardly act play in a person's destiny?
511. Conflict of generations as a social problem.

Northwestern Federal District

Kaliningrad region

106. Values ​​to which you can be faithful all your life ...
211. Do you agree with the statement that indifference impoverishes a person's life?
308. What can you sacrifice for the sake of achieving a great goal?
411. What helps a person to overcome fear?
513. What kind of person can be called an established personality?

Ural federal district

108. What does it mean to be faithful to duty?
204. Can a responsive person be lonely?
310. What kind of person is called purposeful?
402. Do you agree with the opinion that courage is the ability to overcome fear?
507. What can be the sources of disharmony between the individual and the society?

Siberian Federal District

Altai region, Novosibirsk region, Republic of Altai, Tomsk region, Krasnoyarsk region, Republic of Tyva, Republic of Khakassia, Kemerovo region

109. As you understand the phrase from the novel by M.A. Bulgakov's "White Guard": "But not a single person should break the word of honor, because it will be impossible to live in the world"?
202. What person is called responsive?
313. What is the difference between a goal and a dream?
412. In what life situations do you need to be ready for bold actions?
503. When can a person feel lonely in society?

Omsk region

101. When a person is faced with a choice between loyalty and betrayal?
205. Do you agree that your own suffering and difficulties make a person more responsive?
304. What are the main goals in life?
409. How are cowardice and weakness connected?
504. Can one person resist the surrounding society?

Irkutsk region

110. Can a dream be changed?
206. How are responsiveness and selflessness related to each other?
309. What helps people achieve their goals?
407. Why can a person be afraid to express his position?
510. Do you agree with the proverb "One is not a warrior in the field"?

Zabaykalsky Krai

102. How and why do they become traitors?
208. Is indifference a man's fault or his misfortune?
303. Does it make sense to set unattainable goals for yourself?
413. Do you agree with NM's statement? Karamzin: "Courage is a great property of the soul"?
512. What does it mean to be an authoritative person in society?

Far Eastern Federal District

Magadan Region

107. When can we say about a person that he is true to himself?
203. Do you consider the concepts of "responsiveness" and "mercy" synonymous?
312. How do you understand the words of the philosopher I. Kant: "A person should always be a goal and never a means"?
406. Is the principle good: “whatever happens ...”?
502. What role can a strong personality play in the life of society?

Jewish Autonomous Region, Primorsky Territory, Khabarovsk Territory

112. What reasons can lead a person to betrayal?
210. Why is indifference dangerous?
306. Is striving for an unattainable ideal justified?
404. Is courage given by nature or is it brought up in a person?
506. Can a person put himself above society?

Kamchatka Territory, Chukotka Autonomous District

104. Who can be called a true friend?
213. Do you agree with the statement of the writer K. Lewis: “ The main enemy love - indifference, not hatred?
307. What should be guided in the choice of life goals?
401. What helps a person to become courageous?
505. Is it possible to be independent of public opinion?

What the task looks like:

Good day to you, dear readers Of a wonderful world! Today the article is not easy - about the dependence of public opinion, and by the way, I noticed this problem is present in absolutely all my acquaintances, like me. Let's figure out what kind of attack it is.

Any person is part of the whole society. And without his influence, a person cannot develop. It is through interaction with society that a person acquires a set of social skills necessary for life. But if society or its opinion on an individual person is influenced excessively, then this can lead to adverse consequences.

Public opinion is the opinion of those who are not asked.

There are quite a few people for whom public opinion matters too much. And if they have to choose between by their own desires and aspirations and public opinion, they will most likely be guided by the latter.

Public opinion and family

For example, a specific married couple lived in legal marriage more than a dozen years. But over time, people realized that not everything is going well in their relationship and they would like to get a divorce. However, such an impulse will shackle dependence on public opinion. It is very important for people what others or just acquaintances can think or say about them. What might people think?

Almost everyone who is highly dependent on the opinion of society asks this question. However, psychologists are inclined to believe that such an addiction for the person himself is absolutely not an ounce of benefit. From her there is no practical help... On the contrary, such dependence often puts people in a strictly limited framework in their behavior.

As a result, you can live your whole life completely guided only by the opinion of someone else, and push your true aspirations into the background. But let's think together, who is more capable of influencing the thoughts and even actions of people so dependent on the opinion of society? After all, society as a whole cannot influence a person, since it is only an abstract category. Therefore, a specific person will also be influenced by specific individuals. And among them, parents should be singled out separately.

Children in a certain age it is peculiar to emotionally move away at a certain distance from people in whose environment all childhood has passed. At the same time, if the parents raised the child correctly, then it is completely normal if in the future he will go on an independent "voyage" through life.

However, there are a considerable number of children who have already matured who not only continue to live in their parents' house, but are guided in their actions by their attitudes. In this regard, ordinary laziness is perhaps the key determining factor. But the numerous complexes existing in a person play an equally important role.

A person can be influenced by public opinion, the tone of which is also set by so-called authoritative personalities. Their role can be successfully played by friends or some unfamiliar but respected people. Often, such an authoritative person for a person becomes his immediate boss, one of the employees, or persons in charge of the country. The latter can affect specific people using the media for this.

Estimated dependence

Dependence on public opinion can be different character... Some people just panic if someone comments on their clothes. Others are guided by public opinion even when making vital decisions. Excessive dependence can eventually transform into different shapes and types. Thus, some people literally worship their authorities and completely trust them to determine the course of their lives.

Particular cases of such blind dependence are, for example, unconditional adherence fashion trends, desire to always avoid possible conflicts v in public places, striving for everyone to be good. Often, a person dependent on the surrounding opinion trusts his parents or someone close to him to decide for himself what educational institution it is better for him to enter and which of the professions to choose for subsequent work.

Where does the dependence on public opinion come from?

Dependence on public opinion does not appear in a person by accident. There are quite understandable and analyzable reasons for this. However, most often these reasons determine addiction in their totality. Their source is various childhood fears, teenage complexes, the habits of choosing someone else's plan for themselves as the basis for life.

As a result, a person becomes incapable of doing conscious, reasonable, and most importantly, independent choice... So gradually anxiety becomes familiar to him. A person does not have the opportunity to live his own life. He takes only a passive part in it. Constant discomfort and pessimistic mood settles in the soul.

The pressure of public opinion on a person can be so strong that some are afraid to even make an unnecessary movement or step. They are driven only by the fear of encountering condemnation from other people and their sidelong glances. It is not uncommon for children whose parents have taught them to become dependent on the opinions of others that, for example, it is indecent to do certain things in the presence of others, or it is impossible to behave in public in any particular way.

Of course, it is important to teach the child the elementary rules of politeness, tact, and so on. useful things... However, for everything else, he must form his own opinion. Otherwise, the child will live in a state of constraint with numerous fears, complexes and other prejudices.

How to get rid of public influence?

A person can get rid of the influence of public opinion. To do this, first of all, you need to understand that other strangers to you, in fact, are indifferent to your own life and the actions that you perform. Therefore, it is absolutely pointless to be afraid of condemnation on their part.

Moreover, many people are also extremely reticent in their behavior in the same way that you are. And they are also very scared to come across condemnation or rejection of their actions by society. And even if someone begins to condemn the way you look, behave, or say something, then after a few minutes others will simply forget about this expression of opinion.

Of course, at the same time we are not talking about such acts or even crimes that, according to general rules are beyond the bounds of reason. However, the whole set of your other actions, aspirations and words you have the right to boldly and without fear to carry out based on your personal desires. The pressure from the community is often just something you make up your mind.

However, work with personal fears, as well as with complexes, you must carry out on your own. After all, no one knows them better than you yourself. If you yourself cannot cope with them, then it is permissible and even desirable to turn to a psychologist for help. It is for him that it is easiest and easiest to help you in your difficulties. It is extremely important for you only to admit to yourself that you still have some problems.

Set yourself up to fight this negative addiction. Those people who depend on the opinion of someone else are actually most afraid of the disapproval of others. Exactly this factor scares the person the most. As a result, a person is exposed to constant moralizing. But even that is not scary. The scary thing is that it seems to a person that these moral teachings are fair and fully justified in relation to him.

Psychologists recommend speaking out the essence of your fears. It will be much easier to deal with them this way. Getting rid of any addiction should be gradual. It is important for you to tune yourself to such deliverance, then public opinion will no longer dictate its will to you, and you will find freedom and harmony of your soul.

A person spends his whole life in society. He is born into a family, and until his death he is surrounded by people. Man is an integral part of human life, that's how we are made. From the very inception of civilization, loners did not live for a long time, because they had to get food, they just had to survive. Later, when a person also became a social being, he needed an ordinary interlocutor, because you cannot get spiritual food alone either. As they say, a person needs a person.

But at the same time, there are such renegades who absolutely and completely abstracted from social life... They do not care at all what people say about them, it does not matter whether their opinion coincides with the opinion of the generally accepted one. They just live the way they want. But here a very reasonable question arises.

Is this even possible?

Let us recall, for example, the novel by Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov "A Hero of Our Time". The main character of this work, Grigory Alexandrovich Pechorin, leads asocial image life. No, he does not lock himself in his room, curtains the windows so that no one will ever see him, he is just a separate unit of society. In his world, people are the entertainment he prefers most. He lives in such a way that people cannot understand him, he is completely independent of their opinion, but what can be said about him as a person? Hardly anyone would dare to call him a good representative. human species... Perhaps someone will even call it disgusting.

And if you take the main character of Ivan Aleksandrovich Goncharov's "Oblomov", Ilya Ilyich Oblomov? He leads an absolutely antisocial lifestyle. He does not leave the house, without his servant, he also cannot do anything. He also does not care about the opinions of others (perhaps because he did not even hear them). Society for him is nothing, catastrophic nothing. And even warm love feelings do not arouse in him interest in the world around him, in the people inhabiting it. He just lives his life the way he wants.

What conclusion have we come to? Is it possible to be independent of public opinion? Sure; anything is possible, of course, within the framework of the law. People themselves can decide what to do with their lives, and no one has the right to condemn them. But if it is possible to do something, it does not mean that this “something” is correct, unless, of course, you undertake to judge what is good and what is bad.

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Updated: 2018-03-22

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