This article will tell the story of how to become a strong personality.

To become an influential and strong person, you need to first develop a personality in yourself, and then learn how to properly present it to others, so that they begin to perceive you as an influential person. Of course, it is much easier to do it in words than in practice, so if you decide to develop your personality, then get ready for a long and painstaking work.

What do you need to do to be a strong person?

Do you want to be a strong and influential person? Then you have enough a large number of time to spend on working on yourself.

1. First you have to learn cope with all sorts of shocks and learn to endure, and you will also have to wean yourself to be overly impulsive when faced with even the smallest problems.

2. Learn to stand firmly on your feet, even with strong shocks. If you think that you can withstand shocks, no matter how strong they would be, this does not mean that you have become an influential and strong person. Indeed, soon you may again fall under the influence of the accumulated problems, so you need to learn how to be as stable as possible and stay in this position for a very, very long period of time.

3. Don't try to be addicted to other people and bad habits. If you depend on people for their love, influence and support, and your bad habits will dominate you, you most likely will never become a strong person.

4. The power of knowledge. You don't need to get a degree to do this, but if you want to become a strong person, you need to know a lot more than the people in your group. It is not for nothing that there is a proverb “Knowledge is power, whoever possesses them owns the world”.

5. The strength of connections. The more people you are close and dear to you, the more more relationships you stand, which means that the stronger you become. Benefit from others, help and guide them, it will help them to be loyal to you. Start building connections around yourself, in the future this can help you a lot.

6. The power of confidence. People always feel and know when an influential person is standing in front of them. If a person is confident in himself, then he simply radiates confidence, they believe him, they listen to him and follow him.

How to properly present your strength.

If you've had enough time to build your inner strength, then you will surely be able to present it correctly with ease. Give people the opportunity to see your strength, then they will begin to perceive you as a domineering, strong and confident person. You don't have to scream at everyone that you are a strong person. You just need to have a lot of friends, and the news will already fly around the world at a breakneck speed.

Finally, I would like to say that when you become a strong person, it is not surprising that you will be tempted to use your strength from your own motives. If you deal with the offender, then you will only outwardly seem to be a strong person, but in fact you will remain weak in the eyes of others. It is best to use your power for good. Help people if you see that they really need it, this will be natural sign what are you become a strong personality.

People appoint powerful and influential people to important positions, but this does not mean that the latter are indifferent. To become an influential person, you need to demonstrate the appropriate qualities and perform characteristic actions.

Steps

Part 1

How to develop a strong personality

1. Find the right role. Choose a comfortable and understandable role for yourself in order to naturally become an influential person. Try to find a comfortable activity, show interest in it, and start your journey towards your goal.

   • In particular, try to take on leadership roles in which you feel like a fish in water, even if they are not directly related to the area of ​​activity in which you want to excel. For example, become the leader of a small group of members to learn how to be an influential person in the office.
   • Strive to be in an influential position to develop the necessary personality traits. Later you will find their application in the corresponding areas of life.

2. Reflect on past sources of power and influence. Surely in the past you have experienced many moments of manifestation of your strength and power, even if they were perceived as insignificant in comparison with the desired level of influence. If your determination is melting before our eyes, you should remember such moments from the past and recall the feelings of your own strength that they entailed.

   • These memories can relate to any aspect of life. For example, choose a significant academic success, such as an honors degree, or a personal achievement, such as successfully quitting smoking. In any case, it is important to focus on the feeling of your own strength, and not on the situation.

3. Use powerful positions. This is not always true, but influential people tend to use voluminous body language that allows them to take up more of their surroundings. This type of body language expresses confidence so that others can perceive you as a more influential person.

   • Extensive body language may include crossed arms or crossed legs with a prominent knee. outstretched legs extending well beyond the chair, hands resting on the hips.
   • In contrast, in shackled poses, a person hides his legs under a chair, slouches or lowers his arms along the body.

4. Do bold things. You need to demonstrate fearlessness and unshakable self-confidence. If you wait for you to become strong to prove the validity of your claims, then the wait can become endless.

   • Don't be afraid to change or take risks. If you're scared, don't show your fear to anyone. Influence is a cyclical process. If others consider you a strong person, then their attitude will be appropriate, even if you did not previously have such influence.

5. Stick to your own views. Set a goal and start implementing it, even if others disagree with you. Likewise, one should not choose a particular course of action just because it is widespread.

   • Move along own way and don't explain your actions. This behavior can take the form of seeking approval, making your position less powerful than those whose approval you need.

6. Break some rules. Don't be afraid to think outside the box, break some rules or social conventions. Innovation takes determination. Moreover, tactfully disregarding certain conventions will also demonstrate to those around you that you are strong enough to take such a step.

   • The main thing is to clearly understand which rules can be violated and which should remain inviolable. There is no one way to establish the truth, since circumstances always vary, but usually only the rules that need to be broken are allowed to be violated. Notice aspects that can be improved if existing rules became blurred. Look for a way to break out of unnecessary constraints.

7. Take responsibility. In a tense situation, you do not need to look for extreme ones and dwell on the mistakes you have made. Instead, take responsibility and fix mistakes now to make the most of a bad situation.

   • Failure is an integral part of any person's life, and strong people are not afraid to admit this fact. Learn to accept failure and actively correct mistakes. There is no need to look for the one who is to blame more than the rest. Show your strength and declare, "I will deal with this problem."

8. Show concern for your own well-being. This applies to the physical and mental state... It is difficult for an unhealthy or tired person to look strong.

   • Physical health is an obvious question. Eat right and exercise to stay fit. full mode sleep.
   • Caring for mental and emotional health is more nuanced, but in general, it is necessary to find opportunities to relax, take time important people and classes. Don't let the pursuit of power and influence completely consume you.

   Part 2

   How to use influential communication skills

   1. Set landmarks. Don't wait for others to make a decision, make the decisions yourself. Set aside doubts and begin to articulate your desires and requirements clearly, controlling each interaction.

      • Don't ask permission, share your plans without anyone's permission. Even if the outcome does not depend on who takes the first step, such proactive actions will make it possible to claim an influential role in a dialogue or situation.

   2. Treat people with professional courtesy. Show respect so that you receive mutual courtesy in return. Always demonstrate that you understand that other people's time will not be inferior in importance to your personal time.

      • Stick to the golden rule: treat people the way you want them to treat you. You will probably not like it if the person is late for the meeting and does not even warn you about it. It is always unpleasant when, in response to a service rendered, a person does not even bother to say “thank you”. If such behavior of other people undermines your trust in them, then similar behavior on your part will cause a corresponding reaction.

   3. Don't keep people in the dark. Competence in communication - important attribute influential person. People don't have to speculate or worry about the future. Tell people all the details that you would like to know in their place.

      • For example, if you are collecting information for a person and promised to provide your answer by Tuesday lunchtime, then contact the person on Tuesday lunchtime or a little earlier. Even if the answer is not yet ready, write a few lines and show that you have not forgotten about your agreement.

   4. Express your thoughts clearly. Correct communication leaves no room for misunderstandings or mistakes. Your explanations should be as clear as possible and not cause confusion, but all important points should be considered in advance.

      • Thorough communication helps prevent future problems. Everyone should know the situation in full. If something goes wrong, the previously chosen strategy of expanded communication will not allow others to shift the blame onto others, since no one will be able to say “I did not know about it”.
      • In a business environment, information should always be communicated in writing so that it will be easier for you to document your words later.

   5. Anticipate needs and requirements. Try to complete tasks and provide services before you are asked to. If you learn to anticipate future needs in advance, you will show your ability and high qualifications.

      • Of course, in some cases it is impossible to act without permission and instructions. For example, on new job it will take time to delve into all aspects and make decisions.
      • The main thing is not to force people to repeat their request or demand. No matter how successfully you cope with the task, the person who contacts you will probably be disappointed if they have to remind you of the task several times.

   6. Interact actively with people. Feigned busyness and side affairs do not at all give as influential a look as you think, so do not get distracted around during the conversation. Always give your interlocutor full and undivided attention.

      • For example, do not return messages, calls, or emails while talking to another person. Technology allows you to keep in constant touch with others and this has its advantages, but do not use technology to the detriment of live communication.
      • It is important to be involved in a conversation both mentally and emotionally, and this cannot be done without attention and full-fledged interaction.

   7. Learn to work with people. If a person is afraid of the very thought of working with you, then for sure he will not want to work on you... Start accepting other people's ideas and learning from others. If there is a conflict, try to find a fair solution, rather than escalate the situation.

      • There is always room for forgiveness and agreement. However, most people will not seek forgiveness if you continually apologize and regret your actions. Anger does not exclude the possibility of showing mercy, but never let yourself be pushed around you.

   8. Don't be afraid to make enemies. Always try to get along with every person, but at the same time, do not please all people. Don't be afraid to swim against the tide and express the opposite opinion. People who always adjust to others will never take up an influential position or even be able to stand up for themselves.

      • Generally, your sincerity and directness will annoy some people, but don't let that lead you astray. Be tactful, non-judgmental, and strive to negotiate if the situation calls for it, but critical moment do not be afraid to insist on getting it right.

Enduring fortitude is a challenge to society. Possession of self-control, a sense of superiority is truly a strategic masterpiece. Leading, domineering man gathers around him a retinue that makes a king. Women love a brutal, self-sufficient male. A confident specialist is appreciated in production.

This sweet, attractive word power, excites, tickles the nerves. Gives life laurels and addiction to people. The laws practical psychology are also unshakable, like the law of universal attraction. They exist regardless of your attitude towards them.

Character is power over oneself, talent is power over others.
Vasily Osipovich Klyuchevsky

The first law. Do not open up to the end

Plans, intentions, future tactical steps must remain secret. Stealth will save you from envious competitors, concentrate the power of the project. Mysteriousness will lead others into confusion, strengthen your position. Your silence will make people around you, opponents, nervous. Monosyllabic answers will not make you transparent to your opponent. A quiet voice will make you listen to every word you say. Be as unpredictable as the tropical wind. Keep people on their toes.

Second law. Take advantage of other people's results

The law of evolution assumes that the strongest survives. If you can be used, then people will use it. You need to apply the tactics of delegating authority to others. Let others do all the work. You reap the results. Distribute small responsibilities among loved ones, colleagues, subordinates. If you do all the work yourself, then you will turn into a performer, emotionally, physically dry up, and you will lose. Big things await you. Control over performers.

The third law. Use charm, natural charm

Politeness, respectful attitude outperforms dry aggressiveness. Let aggression guide you internally. Demonstrate outwardly benevolence, unyielding confidence. Take into account the complexes, weaknesses of others. Do not overshadow the too timid, do not sweep away the fearful on the way. They will be grateful, humbly, joyfully will carry out your plans.

Fourth law. Distribute the boons. Let people depend on you

Do many good deeds that are worthless, but will multiply the army of grateful, dependent ones. Giving small, pleasant benefits to people is useful for the future ascent. The staff of those benefited, by you, must grow. Lending to the bounty of the soul is beneficial.

The fifth law. Win finally

The loser is the one who agreed with this statement. Lose situations, but win the war. Do not leave your opponents a chance to get stronger, dodge, gain strength. Spread out grudges when revenge is impossible. Don't set identical traps. Use multi-level combinations, indestructible blows. The battle is over when there is confidence in complete superiority, in the absence of compromising evidence.

Sixth law. Only do what bears fruit

Concentrate your efforts, do not inflame your strength on trifles. Before embarking on a new task, answer the question: "What does it give me?" Any action should be a stepping stone to big goal... Plan your moves, actions. Sweep aside intermediate goals, boldly go forward. Use rational, hard-nosed facts.

Seventh law. Create your game

Grown men play games. Games are made strong. The rest play the role of pawns in someone else's game. If you do not create your own game, you will have to fit into your opponent's performance. It is difficult and unpromising to play on a foreign field. It is dangerous to circumvent other people's laws. Create your own games, force others to play them. Make up, change the rules. The game is easy to get into, but difficult to get out. The cost of exiting the game is high. This is a breakdown in relations, a change of place of work, a mental breakdown. It is important for the owner of the game to multiply the players. It is impossible for anyone but you to be a winner in your game.

Conclusion

Following the basic seven laws of power is the path to unlimited freedom. This is an attack on public morality and established traditions. Strong, bright personality not entitled to stay in general formation... While the crowd is marching in friendly rows in a given direction, take a smoke, stand on the sidelines. Strength will be needed to manipulate and confidently move towards the goal.

To become a strong personality, you first need to develop it in yourself, and only then correctly present it to others. Only then will they begin to perceive you as an influential person. Of course, this is much easier in theory. Therefore, if a decision was made to develop a personality, it is necessary to prepare for painstaking and long work on oneself.

What can be done for this? If you want to become an authoritative person, like Vyacheslav Moshe Kantor, you need to spend a lot of time working on yourself. More on this in more detail.

First. First you need to learn how to cope with shocks, learn patience, get rid of unnecessary impulsivity when solving problems.

Second. You need to be able to stand firmly on your feet under any circumstances. If a person believes that he is able to withstand even the most severe shocks, this does not mean that he can be considered a strong and influential person. Indeed, at the most unexpected moment, problems can overtake of different nature... Therefore, you need to sustainably defend your positions over a long period of time.

Third. You don't need to depend on other people and their habits. If a person has such an addiction, then his bad habits will prevail over him. Thus, it is difficult to develop into a strong person.

Knowledge. Influential person can't be stupid. To do this, you need to have a degree. It is important to know more than the people around you.

Connections. The more close people a person has, the more relationships he builds, therefore he becomes stronger and more authoritative. Do not refuse to help people, point them out the right way, support in different situations... Consider building around yourself different connections, which will definitely help a lot in the future.

Confidence. A person will always feel when a strong person is in front of him. A self-confident person is always believed and followed.

Having become an influential person, it is necessary to use the available power for a good cause. Don't pass by people who need help. it important sign strong man who is valued and respected in society.

John Maxwell, Jim Dornan

How to become an influential person.

How to positively impact people's lives

Foreword

When, a few years ago, we met, we immediately felt a huge attraction to each other. We almost felt like brothers. We had a lot in common, despite the fact that everyone was engaged different activities... Jim has been in the business community for the past 30 years, teaching people how to be successful. During this time, he founded a world famous organization. John has worked for a non-profit organization for the past 28 years. He is a pastor, spiritual leader, and speaker. In the United States, he is recognized as one of those who make a major contribution to the development of principles of leadership and spiritual growth.

Join us and keep reading this book. We'll give you a lot of advice, fun and educational stories, and share amazing ideas that will help change your life, as well as the lives of all the people you influence.

Acknowledgments

There are special people in our life whose help and support helped to write this book.

Thanks to Margaret Maxwell, whose support has helped her husband become an influential person.

Thank you Nancy Dornan for her incredible ability to influence her husband, family and hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

Thanks to Mia Brink, her ideas and help helped to develop this project.

Thanks to Stephanie Wheetzel for editing the book and proofreading.

Thanks to Linda Eggers for huge help that have ever been shown to a man.

Thanks to Charlie Wheatzel, our writer, for collaborating on this book.

Introduction

What did you want to become as a child? Have you dreamed of becoming a famous singer or actor? How about becoming the President of the United States? Or maybe you wanted to become an Olympic champion or the richest man in the world? Everyone has dreams. There is no doubt that you have managed to implement some of them. And it doesn't matter what success you have achieved, because you still have dreams that you want to realize in life. And we, in turn, want to help you make your dreams come true and realize your potential.

Let's start by doing a little experiment. Take a look at the list of people below. All different people are listed here, but they all have something in common. Try to understand: what is it?

JOHN GRICHUM

GEORGE GALLUP

ROBERT E. LEE

Dennis Rodman

JAMES DOBSON

DAN RATHER

HIDEO HOMO

JERRY AND PATTI BEAUMONT

RICH DEVOS

MOTHER THERESA

BETH MYERS

Pablo Picasso

ADOLF GITLER

TIGER WOODS

ANTHONY BONACURSI

ALANIS MORRISETTE

GLENNLETERWOOD

BILL CLINTON

JOHN WESLEY

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

The ability to influence does not appear immediately in a person.

It develops gradually.

Did you manage to understand what is common between all these people? Of course, it is not their profession that unites them, since the list includes writers and statesmen, athletes and artists, missionaries and dictators, actors and businessmen. This includes both men and women, some are married and some are not, all of different ages... Different ethnic groups and nationalities are represented here. Some of them are famous and you probably know their names. But we are sure that you have never heard of some of them. So what's the answer? What do they all have in common? And the answer is this: they are all people capable of influencing people.

Everyone has the ability to influence

We have compiled this list at random by placing there like famous people and the people we are familiar with. You can just as easily make your list. We did this to illustrate the following point: everyone has the ability to influence people. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do. A politician, for example, the President of the United States, - a huge impact not only for the lives of hundreds of millions of people in their own country, but all over the world. Artists such as Madonna and Arnold Schwarzenegger often influence an entire generation of people in one or more countries. And teachers, for example, Glenn Letterwood, from whom John and hundreds of other boys studied in Sunday school, influence the lives of their students and, indirectly, all people who will be influenced by their students when they grow up.

But in order to influence people, you do not have to engage in public activities that constantly require you to be in sight. In fact, if in life you come into contact with people in any way, then you can influence them. Everything you do - at home, in church, at work, or on the football field - makes an impression on people. American poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "Every person is a hero and an oracle for someone, and everything he says is perceived as an immutable truth."

If you want to be successful and have a positive impact on your world, then you need to learn how to do it. For example, if you are a sales manager and want to sell even more products, then you need to be able to influence buyers. If you are a director of a firm, your success depends on your ability to influence employees. If you are a coach, you will be able to create a winning team if the athletes feel your influence. If you are a pastor, your ability to touch the souls of people and attract more and more parishioners to the church depends on the ability to influence them. If you want to have a strong healthy family, then you need to learn to provide positive influence for children. Whatever goals you set for yourself in life, you can achieve them faster, more effectively, and your contribution will last longer as you learn to influence people.

If in life you in any way come into contact with people, then you can influence them.

A funny story related to the theme of this book happened during the reign of President Calvin Coolidge. President Coolidge had breakfast one morning with a guest who had arrived at the White House the night before. The guest wanted to make on the president good impression... He noticed that when Coolidge was served coffee, he took a cup, poured the coffee into a deep saucer, and then slowly put a lump of sugar in it.

and added cream. And since the guest did not want to violate the rules of etiquette, he followed the example of the head of state: he poured coffee in a saucer, and then added sugar and cream there. Then he waited for the next actions of the president. Imagine his surprise when the president called his cat and put the saucer on the floor! There is no information about what the guest did after that.

A person influences all people in different ways.

It is interesting to study the ability to influence. Although a person has an impact on almost everyone around him, he affects everyone at a different level. To make sure of this, the next time you come to visit your to the best friend, try giving commands to his dog.

You may not have thought about it, but on an instinctive level, most likely, you feel who you have a great influence on and who you do not. Take 4 - 5 people you work with as an example. When you suggest new idea or do you have any suggestion, do they all react to it the same way? Of course not. Some are inspired by your ideas, others are skeptical (no doubt you can determine their reactions yourself). At the same time, the same person who is not enthusiastic about your suggestions may like all the ideas of the boss or one of his colleagues at work. It only shows that your influence on this person is not as strong as on someone else.

Once you start paying more attention to how people react to you and others, you will notice that they do so based on their personal level of influence. And you will quickly understand how you influence different people In my life. You may notice that even at home, you influence at different levels. If you are married or married and have two or more children, consider how they communicate with you. For example, one child listens to you, while the other listens more to the other parent. It's all about which parent has the most influence on the child.