How to find topics for conversation. What can you talk about with a guy when you run out of topics for conversation: a list of proven topics. How to find a common topic of conversation
It happens that we have to communicate with people we do not know. We start fussing, because we are used to our friends and relatives, and here is a stranger. Calm down, there's nothing to worry about here. It is necessary to conduct a conversation, but before that, excitement should be left behind, and only then move on to pleasant communication. Here are some instructive tips:
1. Ask to be introduced
There is nothing reprehensible if you ask to be introduced at a party or some kind of holiday, adding to this a comment like (this is my friend Nina and she is a construction architect).
Such a presentation gives a 100% guarantee that a conversation will begin, since there will certainly be common topics and questions, and you are no longer a stranger.
2. How to find a topic for conversation
You can always find a topic for conversation. You just look at the person. Maybe he's tall, slender, or has a mole on his cheek, just like you. Try to notice the zest in it, i.e. what others don't have. After you notice this, your face will change and will not look so exciting, and the interlocutor will notice this and will already be more inclined to communicate with you. Ask a question that interests you.
If your interlocutor is a girl, then give her a compliment, for example: what a beautiful hairstyle you have.
3. Topics for conversation around
Pay attention to where you are, take note of something that surrounds you and your interlocutor. Even if you say something completely neutral about the place of your mutual location, for example, "It's nice here!", This will already be quite enough to establish a psychological connection and start communication.
If it so happened that your interlocutor of the opposite sex, then ask questions on the merits. For example, how do you like the interior of this room or what do you know about cars. Feel free to say what you don't know question asked- this can generalize your interests and thus the conversation will drag on. Be sure to offer the lady something to drink.
4. Search for common interests
It is believed that the more a person is comprehensively developed, the more interesting he is to others. Going to a company, to a party, look at the news that you can tell your interlocutor, friends. You can touch on the topic of politics, about your city. There will always be people who will discuss these topics with great desire, and thus you will be an interesting conversationalist.
5. Ask the right questions
Before you ask a question to the interlocutor, first formulate it, think it over. The question should not contain a short answer, such as "yes - no." A question like “What do you do in free time? Do you like to relax by the sea? People like to talk about themselves - this is proved by statistics, so take advantage of this, ask such questions as much as possible to an interlocutor who will gladly talk about himself.
6. Non-verbal communication
If the interlocutor is still silent, try to add gestures to your stories, change facial expressions, smile when talking - this has a positive effect on the person and then he feels more confident.
7. Mirroring
This non-verbal method was invented to make a person with an interlocutor feel more confident. It is not difficult to demonstrate this method, just repeat the gestures of the interlocutor, only in reverse, for example, the interlocutor has right leg on the left, you do the opposite, put the left on the right. Such mirroring will not attract attention, but will fulfill its functions. After some of these gestures, the interlocutor subconscious level take you for his own. By the way, you can read more about it here.
Have you ever experienced this: you came to an unfamiliar company and you don’t feel at all like a fish in water? Everyone is talking about something, but you have nothing to say? And they seem to be good interesting people, but only the conversation somehow does not stick: as if there is no common themes contact. Straightaway good themes hard to find to talk to. There are other situations: two people are forced for a long time spend together, but they don’t even know what to talk about with each other, how to find interesting topics for conversation. Therefore, all conversations are reduced to "about the weather" or to a long silence.
It turns out that being a good conversationalist is not always easy! Why, then, with some people you can talk on any topic, while with others you can’t even get a couple of peppy words? Sometimes it's just necessary to be able to properly maintain a conversation! For example, when meeting with the authorities at new job or with the parents of your soulmate. After all, all the people with whom the conversation does not fit in any way cannot be deleted from life! So how do you find a topic to talk about?
What we say, what we say, actually SAYS about us. Every day we unconsciously verbalize our desires and lacks. After all, it is not we who speak: our unconscious speaks to us, our vectors.
You may be interested
It turns out that the set of vectors directly affects the topics of conversation we choose and the very manner of communication. People with a similar set of vectors and states understand each other: their conversation is built freely and naturally. But the representatives of counter vectors may not get along well. Each vector has its own good topics for conversation.
So, if you know everything about the vectors of the interlocutor, you can understand what you can talk to him about and how to properly maintain a conversation with him. Today we will look at how representatives of the most popular vectors manifest themselves in communication.
skin vector. As you might have guessed by now, good conversation topics with leather workers are money, profit, and everything that comes with it. Career, work, prices, sales, methods of earning - their most popular topics for a conversation. After all, we all remember that money is the main value of leather workers. Moreover, the owners of the skin vector like to talk about healthy way life: about sports, about weight loss and diets, about useful and junk food. Male skinners like to discuss cars, expensive gadgets and, of course, girls in their circle. Because By their very nature, all leather workers love to compete and dream of being the first in everything, then the conversation about women often comes down to who picked up how many "women". skin women like to talk about shopping and fashion.
People with a skin vector are extroverts, so they are quite open in communication, but they don’t really like to talk a lot about themselves: they ask more.
anal vector. The owners of the anal vector are not as verbose as the skinners (but this also depends on the upper vectors). Analniks are introverts. They like to talk little and to the point. good themes there can be many to talk about. For example, women with an anal vector love to talk about family, children, cooking and cleaning - in general, about their daily activities. Men with an anal vector talk about purely “male” topics: hunting, fishing, maybe history. “We are not women to trynd a lot!” The picture, of course, changes, there is an anal man, for example, with a visual vector, and / or oral.
The favorite motif of any conversations of the owner of the anal vector: “It used to be so good, but now ...” And a long discussion begins about how humanity has degraded, what kind of “youth” has gone now and where the world is heading. Homosexuals are not the most pleasant topic for a man with an anal vector (but, nevertheless, also very popular). The fact is that a man with an anal vector has an undifferentiated libido. This means that in the potential it can be attracted not only by women, but also by males. And even if “everything is all right” with his orientation, he often without realizing it, all the time emphasizes his masculinity.
If you want to win over a man with an anal vector in a conversation, then smart themes don’t look for a long conversation, instead, it’s better to agree with him in everything, often nod: “they say, yes, the world is going to hell”, “yes, the family is the most important thing in life, and the man is always the main one in the family.” Then, believe me, he will remember you as a wonderful conversationalist and a pleasant person.
visual vector. The audience is probably the best interlocutor. Especially when it comes to people with a developed visual vector. Why? Because the visual vector gives its owners a unique gift - the ability to empathize. They feel their interlocutor, so they unconsciously adjust to him in a conversation: sometimes they even adopt the pace and manner of speech. It is comfortable and cozy with them: they are excellent psychotherapists. They can listen, support and give the most valuable thing - sympathy. Interesting topics for conversations with them are always provided.
At the same time, people with a visual vector are still talkers. They can tryndet for hours on end: so that even a word in their tirade will be difficult to insert. Particularly talkative are not very developed spectators, who in a conversation are constantly trying to pull the blanket of attention over themselves. People with a visual vector are very emotional, they can often exaggerate and escalate the situation.
How to find general theme for a conversation with skin-visual women? They talk about men all the time. But what else?
Sound vector. The most "uncommunicative" and the most paradoxical vector. How typical introverts, sound engineers are often silent: they listen more than they speak. How to find a topic for conversation with them? This difficult task, because they believe that the conversations of "all these people around" are meaningless. So, there is no point in even opening your mouth. For people with a sound vector, the question is important: “Why?” Why talk about the weather, women, cars, fashion? If the sound engineer starts talking, then in the company of sound engineers like him. It is then that conversations begin about the meaning of being and philosophy, about God and religion, and about many, many other things. A person with a sound vector has been trying all his life to learn the laws of the universe, so these topics are more relevant to him than anyone else. Who am I? Why am I? Why me?
Sound-vectored people may seem like good listeners, but not all are. Some sound engineers, while you are chatting, are not listening to you at all: they have been hovering in their thoughts for a long time, but they have already forgotten about you. By the way, it is the sound engineers who like to have a quiet conversation with themselves: I am the best interlocutor for myself.
Oral vector. God himself ordered people with an oral vector to speak, so they have no problem choosing a topic for conversation: as soon as they envy free ears, they begin to attack with their chatter. And there is no escape from their "verbal diarrhea".
We have considered only the most common types of people. But, already possessing only this knowledge, you can understand how to build a conversation with certain people, how to find a common topic for a conversation with any person. And if you dig even deeper, whole layers of information will open up! Chat at your pleasure with Yuri Burlana!
The article was written using training materials on System-Vector Psychology Yuri Burlan. Find out more about OUR LECTURES.
Elena
Oct 28, 2013 @ 11:42
Elena
Oct 28, 2013 @ 16:58
Tatiana
Oct 28, 2013 @ 21:45
Lydia
Dec 10, 2013 @ 19:31
Oksana Kotorobay
Jun 21, 2014 @ 02:55
About what…. What to talk about? Yes about everything! Such an answer! Have you ever tried to talk about absolutely everything? There is nothing difficult in such conversations. All you need is a so-called "hook".
- Listen to the interlocutor! See what topics he enjoys talking about.
- Don't interrupt someone who is speaking. Then you won't have to worry about topics. The person who pours out his soul to you will himself “dissolve” in topics for conversation.
- Remember what the person talked to you about before (if, of course, you have communicated before). And start "leaning" on old topics.
Didn't find anything great?
Didn’t see “interesting topics” in the tips?
Especially if you don't use a camera. "Invisibility" liberates people.
My husband and I met mine online. It so happened that I was incredibly sociable, like him. But since I found it... That conversational initiative was “attached” to me. I never go into my pockets for a word, so I knew what to say and when. My habit is “interrogative rain”. I added Stasik to Friends (in social network) and immediately began to ask about many things. He got tired, probably, from me in the first seconds. But he didn't admit it. What topics were covered?
Our first conversation was more like a very detailed questionnaire:
- How old are you?
- Who are you according to the Zodiac?
- What do you like to do in life?
- What do you like?
- Who do you work?
- Is that you in the photo?
- Where you're from?
- Where do you live now?
- What is the nationality of your parents?
- Do you have a brother or sister?
- Where do you work?
- What are your food preferences?
- Is there a favorite color?
- What kind of women (girls) do you like?
- What do you like to do on the Internet?
- How do you feel about coincidences?
I can go on listing questions for a long time, but you will just get bored reading them. Speak! And the theme itself will be found!
How to find an interesting topic?
If the interlocutor is very unsociable caught? Ask directly what the person would like to talk about. So pastime will be much more interesting.
Interesting topics for conversation are topics that will delight not only your soul, but also the soul of those with whom you love to talk. Are you uncomfortable with this or that topic? This does not mean at all that the person who is next to you will have the same “feeling” for her. Try to support all topics, not just those that inspire you exclusively! This way you will earn positive reputation and positive self-image.
All guys dream of being liked by girls, but some of them are sorely unlucky. And the point is not even in appearance, but rather in the ability to hook a girl with a few phrases. It is these phrases that are decisive, because after them the girl decides whether she should communicate further. It is equally important to keep the conversation going on the first date, because it depends on whether the young lady agrees to meet a second time.
Summary of the article
Those guys who want girls to like you need to learn how to keep the conversation going, to be interesting and charming interlocutors. This is a whole science, therefore it is worth dwelling on it in more detail.
Acceptable topics for communication with a girl
Of course, the hardest thing for a guy is on a first date, because he doesn’t know the girl yet, but passionately dreams of making her interested. In this case, you need to think over this moment in advance and even write down a few possible topics for a conversation. During communication, like a magician from the sleeve, the guy will be able to get one topic after another and observe which of them seem to the girl the most interesting. If a relationship develops, young man will be able to get about your girlfriend more information and only then highlight those topics that are close to her.
Making Relationships
Of course, at first, a guy should take a closer look at the girl and understand whether she is really interesting to him. If so, then the best for a closer acquaintance would be relationship theme. This does not mean at all that you need to talk about your ex or ask her how long her relationship lasted. former relationship. It makes sense to talk about how she sees ideal relationship between man and woman. This is a very extensive topic, which will surely seem interesting to the girl, besides, she will demonstrate serious intentions guy towards her.
Topics for subsequent dates
If a girl is interested in a young man and agrees to a second date, this is not yet a victory. . Here, too, you have to think about the selection suitable topics. If the guy is not stupid, he probably found out more from the girl during the first date. detailed information about her. In this case, the topics of conversation for subsequent dates will be much easier to choose.
About music. If a girl likes to listen to music, you should find out from her which musical directions she prefers. It may well be that here the tastes will coincide, and then an interesting and pleasant topic will appear for both interlocutors. If tastes differ dramatically, it is better to just listen to her admiring tirades and in no case try to prove that she has bad taste.
About work. This topic can be called quite suitable for those people who hope to continue a relationship, so it will be appropriate even on a first date. It does not hurt to tell about your interesting high paying job because this moment will surely impress the girl.
About sport. This topic is far from being of interest to all girls, and therefore if it has not aroused a reciprocal interest, it is better to wait a little with it.
About books. The topic is really interesting. In addition, it will allow you to find out the level of intelligence of the interlocutor.
About animals. This is a serious topic that can tell a lot about a person and incredibly bring the interlocutors together.
Topics for online communication with a girl
In principle, it is always easier to communicate via the Internet, especially at first. There is always an opportunity here analyze the issue and think about the answer. Although in reality everything converges to the same as in real life- to recognize the girl and awaken her interest. So the guy should try to find out as much information about her as possible. For this, there are quite harmless and very helpful threads:
- about life
- about study and work
- about hobbies.
It is very important to remember that there are topics that are absolutely unacceptable at the beginning of an acquaintance. You should categorically avoid talking about:
- family and household chores
- previous relationships
- physical love.
These topics are more suitable for people who have established trust and warm relationship. At first, they can simply scare the girl away, as a result of which she will stop communicating.
Topics for talking on the phone
Very often, communication in VK or Skype leads to the fact that young people exchange phone numbers. This does not yet speak of complete trust, but still brings them closer to each other. phone gives opportunity to communicate more often, and therefore it is worth trying to find out as much as possible about the girl so that in a personal meeting you can talk about what is interesting to her.
Of course, it is more difficult for those whose communication just begins with phone call. In this case, you need to introduce the interlocutor and try to unobtrusively determine what she might be interested in. If a guy knows how to joke well, this is a huge advantage, since almost all girls like guys who are smart and funny.
How to choose topics in a face-to-face meeting
If you have a personal meeting after a preliminary communication online or by phone, when choosing topics, you should start from the fact that the girl may be interested. The guy must have figured it out by now. Usually, at such a meeting, people feel like old acquaintances, and therefore topics for conversations are found very soon.
If this is the first date after speed dating, and the guy does not yet have any information about the girl, it is worth making a few compliments and starting a conversation on general topics. How to choose them is described above.
A little about forbidden topics
There are so-called prohibited topics , which should be avoided until the guy finds out true attitude girls to one thing or another. They are capable of spoiling everything in the bud, even if before that it seemed to both that everything was going great. These are topics about:
Former relationship
Religions
Politics
money
Various kinds of problems.
In all other respects, you just need to rely on your feelings, and most importantly, always be yourself.
"
Getting to know new people is one of the usual parts of our lives. Even if you get along well with people, sometimes there may be moments when you do not know what to say and wonder why your interlocutors have moved on to another topic. If you have in your head sample list topics of conversation, you won't panic. You will be ready to always keep the conversation going. All you need to do is get one of the topics out of your head and continue the conversation.
Steps
Part 1
Starting a conversation- Ask for a person's opinion. You can relate it to what is happening around you right now, to current events, or just talk about whatever you want to discuss.
- Take an interest in a person's life. Ask where he comes from, what kind of childhood he had, and the like.
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Start conversations with friends and strangers in different ways. The previous tips were for a situation where you don't know your interlocutor well enough yet. There are other options to start a conversation:
- With those you know well: ask how they are doing, what's new last week how their project or school is going, how their kids are doing, or whether they've seen an exciting new TV show or movie.
- With those you know but haven't seen for a long time: ask what has happened in their lives since you last saw each other, if they still live in the same house, if they still work at their previous jobs, ask about their children and if there are new ones (if that matters), or whether they have seen your mutual friends recently.
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Know what to avoid. Follow the basic rule: never talk about religion, politics, money, relationships, family problems, health problems, or sex with people you don't know well. You may accidentally offend them, so stay away from such topics.
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Find out what their hobbies and interests are. At this point, communication becomes more personal. It is up to you whether this conversation goes well. Ask relevant questions.
- Do you play or are fond of any sports?
- Do you enjoy spending time online?
- What do you like to read?
- What do you do in your free time?
- What kind of music do you like?
- What films do you like?
- What are your favorite TV shows?
- What is your favorite board game?
- Do you like animals? What is your favorite animal?
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Connect questions about the family. Safe Option– talk about siblings or find out basic information (for example, where the person grew up). Parents may be touchy subject, if the person had some problems with them, if he was brought up by strangers, or if the parents recently died. Talking about children can be an uncomfortable topic for couples who are having trouble or disagreeing about childbearing. You should also not talk about children with a person who really wants to have them, but cannot find a suitable partner.
- Do you have brothers and sisters? How many?
- If there are no brothers and sisters, then what is it like to grow up as an only child?
- What are their names?
- How old are they?
- What are they doing? (depending on how old they are). Do they go to school or university? Do they have a job?
- Are you like them?
- Do you have much in common?
- Where did you grow up?
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Ask about their travels. Ask the person where he has been. If he never left hometown, ask where he would like to go.
- If you had the opportunity to move to another country, which country would it be and why?
- Of all the cities you have visited in the world, which one do you like the most?
- Where did you spend your last vacation? Did you like it?
- What is the best/worst trip of your life?
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Ask about food and drinks. Talking about food is a little easier, as there is a chance that you will start a conversation about liquor with a person who does not drink alcohol or has a certain problem with alcohol. Be careful that your conversation does not turn to what kind of diet the interlocutor is following or how he is trying to lose weight. This can take the conversation in a negative direction. Instead ask:
- If you could choose one dish for a lifetime, what would it be?
- What places do you like to have lunch or dinner at?
- Do you enjoy cooking?
- What are your favorite sweets?
- What is the most negative experience from visiting a restaurant do you remember?
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Ask about work. This topic is a little touchy, as there is a chance that the interlocutor will have the feeling that he is in an interview. But if you can lead a pleasant and casual conversation on this topic, the conversation can turn out to be quite interesting. Don't forget that a person may still be studying, quitting, or looking for a job. Here approximate start conversation:
- What do you do? Where do you work or study?
- What was your first job?
- Who was your favorite boss?
- What did you want to be when you were a child?
- What do you like most about your job?
- If money wasn't important and you had the opportunity to work whoever you want, what would you be?
- If you find out that a person is this moment unemployed, but you have something to offer him, do not be shy. Usually people are interested.
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Give a sincere compliment. Compliment what the person did, not how they look. This will allow the conversation to continue about his skills. If you say that a person beautiful eyes, then they will thank you, and this will end the conversation. Unless you ask how your interlocutor increases them. Here are some good examples:
- I really enjoyed your performance on the piano. How long have you been playing?
- You looked very confident during the speech. How did you manage to create such a great presentation?
- Your run was amazing. How many times a week do you train?
Part 2
Developing a conversation-
Keep up a light conversation. You should not expect that from the first moments a miracle will happen in your relationship with a stranger. You can hope for an initial rapport, so you better stick to a topic that is interesting and entertaining for the other person.
- Avoid talking about your problems and negative situations. If you notice that people look strangely during such conversations, it is because they do not expect to hear such serious topics during a normal informal conversation.
- Most people are looking for polite, interesting and simple themes for conversation, and negative points can ruin the conversation and create a pause in a casual conversation.
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Allow silence. Silence doesn't have to be awkward - it allows you to gather your thoughts and think of topics for conversation that the other person will enjoy. This will give you both a breather and a little pause.
- Such silence can become awkward if you become nervous or worried because you are silent.
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Share your interests. If you find out that both of you love to run, talk about yours. general interest. But remember that you will have to talk about other things as well. A 45-minute conversation about running will seem strange to most people.
Part 3
Pushing the boundaries- Think before you speak. You can't take back your words. People remember the conversations you had with them. So try to be friendly, unless you want to be remembered otherwise.
- Most The best way to have a conversation is to ask each other questions. It shouldn't feel like a competition, you should be able to carry on a conversation without being dominated.
- If this is your first time talking to a person, try to avoid sarcasm. However, if a person shows sarcasm, do not lose face, be witty. But know the measure.
- Don't ask all the questions above in a row. This will put the person in comfortable position He will feel like he is being interrogated.
- If you're seeing a person for the first time, it's best to start a conversation about the place where you both ended up, rather than starting with a random topic.
- Be friendly and don't offend anyone.
- Listen carefully. After the person answers your question, think of something that relates to the topic of conversation and talk about it. Alternatively, you can answer the question yourself, even if you were not asked to.
- Check out the news. Read a newspaper or search the Internet for interesting current stories.
- Avoid monosyllabic answers like "yes", "no" or "okay". Such conversations have only one way - to nowhere.
- If you text a girl, make sure you don't offend her. She may disconnect and end your conversation.
- The first thing you should remember when talking to a person is their name! It seems that it is very simple, but sometimes memory can fail.
Talk about another person. The main secret good interlocutor- let the other person talk about themselves. Why? Perhaps because this topic is most comfortable for him. Try the following tricks: