Grumpy wife: causes of grumpiness, what to do? Grumpy wife. Why housewives spoil their temper
Andrey Tikhomirov 02/13/2015 2643
Once sweet and tender wife turned into an evil grumbling aunt? I’ll save nothing from her, and it’s impossible to endure? Well, before you is a typical specimen of a grumpy wife, her classic incarnation. How to survive next to such a woman?
Best image a grumpy little wife who will bring anyone to the grave, in Soviet cinema was created by People's Artist of the USSR Anastasia Zueva in the film "Jubilee" based on the play by A.P. Chekhov. The persistent and arrogant Mrs. Merchutkina, fearlessly, with violent pressure, stormed the director of a commercial bank and his chief accountant with a request to give her 25 rubles. The lady achieved her goal, bringing two men to white heat at the same time.
Reasons for the birth of grumpiness
Life experience shows that the quarrelsomeness of a woman who has lived with her husband for a long time does not appear immediately, somewhere around 40 or 45 years old, when it becomes clear to the fairer sex that her faithful fairytale prince on a white horse, with a bag of gold bars and precious stones will never be. And here her memory, this evil ruler of any envious nature, begins to obsessively scroll in her memories all the negative associated with a non-penetrative and weak-tempered spouse.
Small grievances of the first years come to mind living together, when HE, for the sake of his beloved wife and young children, could still catch, if not a firebird, then at least one of its feathers, and the family would then live comfortably. But due to some personal fears or inexorable ambitions, due to his inner insecurity or unwillingness to be obliged to influential relatives and friends, the husband did not manage to achieve timely success in society, did not make a brilliant career and in the prime of his years still cannot find himself ...
Realizing that the spouse can no longer be changed, and the divorce will only aggravate the already disastrous situation, the wife begins to nag her man day after day in order to somehow initiate him to decisive action... It may be late, but still better than never.
A little bit about female and male psychology
Women and male psychology- two diametrically opposite worlds. Every girl future mother and the nurse, understands perfectly well that a home must be created before a certain age when childbirth is painless and vitality much to inspire a person who loves her to make discoveries and feats for family happiness and well-being.
Men have different worldviews. In their youth, and even in old age, it still seems to them that in life they will succeed in everything, even in those moments when there are no real prerequisites for anything. During this very period, men most often begin to experience the grumpiness of a woman's character.
What solution can be advised to the representatives of the stronger sex, in order to preserve the family and the zealous spouse, who has overcome the baldness with moralizing, to besiege?
1. Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with the tired life and household chores of his wife, in order to find out what she is still not happy with, and then make the proper decision how to live on!
2. Offer the spouse to live for a while separately from each other, so that a certain clarity emerges whether they need each other after years living together!
3. Not to give your wife a salary so that she feels what it is like to live without a husband who does not pay child support!
4. Take your spouse on a long and romantic trip to some exotic resort, where old feelings mutual passion and unrestrained love, perhaps, will flare up with renewed vigor and everything - trust, mutual respect and mutual assistance will return to normal again!
5. Put yourself in the shoes of your wife and for some time carry out all of her functionality in order to feel what a woman's share is!
6. Divide household chores equally!
7. Get a mistress with whom you can relax in body and soul!
8. Make a concession, obey and do what the woman urges!
Some conclusions
An independent man can always divorce his annoying wife!
But the indecisive and not independent person, if he still owes his position in society to the parents or relatives of his wife, he will have to accept and endure everything that she expresses to him in harsh and sarcastic tones.
But such is life, for everyone it develops in different ways and each husband must independently find the answer how he can get along with his grumpy faithful!
If a lively and demanding wife becomes furious and turns one day into a "weak and defenseless" Mrs. Merchutkina, the spouse can be one hundred percent sure: she will definitely bring him to the coffin!
Read today
1936
Health + Diets
How to put a night glutton to sleep?
We are all a little gluttonous. Show at least one person who does not like to eat well or just eat ...
Once upon a time there was a husband and a wife. In addition to common children, each also had children born in their first marriage. Despite the fact that the husband did everything that a man is supposed to do, the wife was always unhappy with him and constantly grumbled:
You're not good for anywhere. You don’t know how to do anything that other men do! You're not good for anything! You are not a husband, you are not a man!
Why am I not my husband? Why am I not a man? What are other men doing that I couldn't do? They go to the river to fish, float down the river in a canoe, and I also float in a canoe, and I also fish! They set traps, and I set traps too! They are tilling the land, and I am tilling the land! They raise pigs and chickens, and so do I. I also know how to trade on the market, like everyone else! Everyone sleeps with their wives, and we sleep together! And you get pregnant from me just as women get pregnant from their husbands! Everyone has children and I have children! What, in the end, are other men able to do that I would not be able to do ?! her husband once indignantly asked her.
Ayue! Leave me alone, you are no good for anything anyway!
And so many times he listened to these unjust accusations that in the end he decided to seek advice from the congregation of elders, who usually conferred under a tree near the chief's dwelling. Here people rested, here the elders gathered for a council.
And so, as usual, the elders gathered, the leader came, and many more ordinary people ran. People are always curious.
You, leaders and elders, old people and young, you, among whom there are high and low, among whom there are both fat and thin, you who can be my older brothers or mine younger brothers, let me ask you a question. Can I say whatever I want?
Say whatever you want!
Well, so I will say whatever I want! If one person constantly says to another: “You are no good! You can't do anything! You can't do anything! " - what do you think: should the other person endure all this?
No, such words offend a person! - said one of the men.
You can say whatever you want! We are listening!
Then one of the elders asked:
Listen, is this conversation between two men, between two women, or between a man and a woman?
Not just between a man and a woman, but between a husband and a wife.
And who are these man and woman?
This man is me, and this woman is my wife.
Ah ah ah! Then all this must be decided by the elders and the leader himself.
Well, tell me everything in detail! - confirmed one of the advisers to the leader.
Listen, elders and counselors, people old and young, tall and short, fat and thin, this woman is constantly telling me: “You are not a man! You are no good for anything! You don't know how to do what other men do! " But I do canoeing with others, I fish as well as others, I set traps as well as others. All the land is cultivated, and I cultivate the land. Everyone breeds pigs and chickens, and I breed. Everyone trades in the market, and I trade. Well, of course, sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, that's understandable. When we met her, I already had children, just like her. But then we gave birth to children together. And we sleep with her together, and she becomes pregnant from me. In a word, I do everything that other men do. Why does she scold me all the time? Why does she reproach me for not being able to do anything that other men do?
Listen! one of the elders decided. - Your wife probably wants you to get a talisman! Then she will calm down! - And, turning to the leader, he asked: - Tell me, sir, am I right or wrong?
That's all right. Let this person receive a talisman, and then his wife will calm down, - the leader confirmed.
And the man followed their advice. He went to the sorcerer with a request to give him a good, faithful talisman.
Why do you need a talisman? What has happened with you? the sorcerer asked. - I need to know who the talisman should act against, who will become its victim.
And the man repeated his story again. As the wife says: “You are not a man! You are no good for anything! You don't know how to do what other men do! " - and explained to the sorcerer that he did everything like other men: he caught fish, and set traps, and tilled the land, and gave birth to children ...
Okay. I got it. I'll give you a talisman. But his victim will not be your son, born of another woman, not the son, born by her from you. The victim of witchcraft will be her eldest daughter or her oldest grandson. This is so that she finally understands that she was wrong, that you can do anything! Go home. Here's a talisman for you.
The man returned home and did not say a word to anyone.
And a few days later, when the eldest grandson of the grumpy wife, along with other children, ate the fruit, I will say, the grain fell into his throat. He choked, coughed and died.
They began to find out the cause of the boy's death and learned that the grandfather was to blame for everything. All relatives - both mother and father - gathered and began to discuss what had happened.
Although the child died due to the fault of his grandfather, the grandfather is right! - announced all together. “For too long he endured humiliation from his wife. You cannot offend a good person.
So the husband proved to his wife that he can do anything.
And there was Khoja Nasreddin. And he had a wife.
Whether she was beautiful - no one really knows anything about that, but everyone remembers that she was grumpy, loud and never gave him peace.
One night, Khoja Nasreddin ran away from her into the garden and lay down to sleep under a huge apple tree. And as soon as he settled down, relaxed and fell asleep sweetly, he immediately heard the screams of an angry wife above him:
- O son of Vice! she shouted. - What are you doing here alone at night? Look at him, good people, how the last tramp lay down on the ground! Everything normal husbands sleeping at home with their wives, and this wicked man, so that you were empty! Get up! How much will you embarrass me in front of the neighbors ?! March home, stray dog, before I scratch out your shameless eyes for you! - so she shouted.
And then Khojan Nasreddin raised his hands to the sky and exclaimed:
- O Allah! Be a witness, I have long suffered abuse from this woman. Better do something yourself or I can't vouch for myself!
And as soon as he said this, from the very top of the apple tree fell Big apple and right on the head of the screaming woman. She immediately fell silent from fright, sat down on the ground and did not utter a single sound. She stopped talking completely. Not even yes or no. Numb.
For the first week, Khojan Nasreddin flew on the wings of happiness. The second week - I began to think. The third week - I walked gloomier than a cloud. On the fourth week, he harnessed the donkey, put his numb wife on it, locked the house and set off to look for a doctor.
He drove his wife for a long time, showed it to various doctors. I spent so much money on all sorts of medicines - nothing helps. The wife is silent and that's it - as if she had taken water in her mouth.
And then one day, when they were on their way to a distant gorge, where, according to rumors, a hermit lived - either a sorcerer, or a warlock, they stopped under a tree by a stream for the night. And Hodja Nasreddin had a wonderful dream. As if the clouds would line up in the staircase and Allah descended from heaven to him. He sat down next to him and said:
- About Khoja Nasreddin. Didn't you ask me to intervene? Didn't you ask to stop this angry fury? What are you itching to do? Why don't you sit at home and enjoy the peace? Why do you take your wife to the doctors? Don't you know if the gift of speech returns to her, she will start screaming again and scolding you with swear words?
- O Almighty! - Hodja Nasreddin answered him. “Of course you’re right. When this woman screams, having lost all shame, the horses stumble, the flies die on the fly and the wine sours in the wineskins ... But next to her vain chatter, my silence looks so profound, and I am so clever, that rightly I should be patient ...
Hodja Nasreddin wanted to tell Allah something else, because not everyone manages to talk with the Almighty so easily, face to face, but he did not have time. He was awakened by the cry of his wife:
- Get up sluggard! - shouted his wife. - The day is in full swing. Look - everyone has long gone about their business, alone you are ready to snore until lunchtime and bask under warm robe... Harness the donkey as soon as possible. We are coming home. I don't need any doctor. These deceivers are of no use anyway. Prostaphilya! How much money have you wasted! Come up. You see, I have already spoken myself. Let's go. There are a lot of things to do at home ...
Khoja Nasreddin raised his hands to the sky and said:
- Glory to you about the Almighty and your deeds. - And smiling deeply, under the quibbling of his recovered wife, he began to harness the donkey.
Wrote the parable MUDMAN
Creating a family is probably the main purpose in the life of every person. Heat family hearth, charms home comfort, the love of a beautiful wife and the laughter of little children - what could be more pleasant, quivering, emotionally more intense for a man? But, unfortunately, not always everything goes smoothly in life: everyday life darkens, financial problems lead to conflicts, problems at work cause a crisis, and the beloved wife becomes a grumpy, angry wife. Why?
Manifestations of the wife's quarrelsomeness
In everyone's life married couple the turning point of the crisis in the relationship comes. An idyll can be long-term, mutual understanding can be manifested in the highest level, attachment to each other remains strong and unquenchable, but in any case, everyday troubles leave their negative imprint on the marriage bond and give an impetus for the emergence of a kind of disagreement. And what is remarkable, it mainly affects the woman. With the advent of family conflicts she becomes more vulnerable, vulnerable, and, accordingly, shows more aggressive protective actions and begins to attack her husband with peculiar attacks, becoming irritable and constantly swearing. Grumpy wife - what does that mean?
The spouse's quarrelsome manifestations are reflected in the following behavioral tendencies:
- frequent bad mood;
- regularly raising your voice in conversation with your spouse;
- constant accusatory attacks on the husband for any reason;
- letting go of sharp remarks towards a man with or without reason;
- manifestation of conflict and groundlessness in swearing.
Reasons for the grumpiness of the spouse
Men who observe negative changes in their spouse often ask the question: "If the wife is quarrelsome, what to do? Why did she become this way?" But not always representatives strong half of humanity understand and are aware of the fact that in the outbursts of negative emotions their spouse is quite weighty reasons, namely:
- general physical and psycho-emotional fatigue;
- constancy of life and lack of rest;
- inattention on the part of the husband;
- justified or false suspicions of treason caused by constant feeling jealousy;
- lack of financial resources caused by the spouse's unemployment or low earnings;
- difficulties in raising children, the occupation of which completely fell on the shoulders of a woman.
How to deal with grumpiness
In the light of all the prerequisites that turned the once sweet girl, taken by a man into a spouse, into a grumpy wife, he has to look for ways to find a way out of this situation. But how to deal with a similar problem? And what to do with a grumpy wife? After all, if you do not take any action, such manifestations of indignation of the spouse can not only continue to negatively affect the emotional atmosphere in the family, but also lead to regular protracted conflicts or, even worse, to the subsequent disintegration of a once happy and harmonious family. V a similar situation the man must develop a plan of action to "evacuate" the spouse from the ship called the "grumpy wife symbol."
Discharge by shopping
Every woman, but, unfortunately, not every man knows the right way out from any stalemate that negatively affects the mood of the representative fair half humanity. Of course, this is shopping. Feminine nature is arranged in such a way that new tweets, trinkets, dresses, shoes, handbags, blouses, pants and skirts can incredibly disperse the clouds thickening over the charming lady and instantly defuse the atmosphere of her daily hateful life that darkens her. It is enough for a man to take his life friend to any nearest shopping center and allow her to at least partially update her wardrobe. Surprised and delighted by her husband's proposal, a woman will instantly soften and behave in a completely different way. The image of a grumpy wife will instantly disappear, and the atmosphere of friendliness and gratitude of a satisfied woman will last for a long time at home, which will undoubtedly be reflected in some new recipe for a fragrant dish or baking a delicious sweet cake.
Joint pastime on vacation
No less effective method in the work of taming an obstinate wife, the husband takes his wife and children out of town for a picnic or to some amusement park. Getting new sensations pleasant emotions, a perky mood will allow a woman to relax and feel her dose of peace. The laughter of children and the manifestation of her husband's sensitivity with beneficial medicine will affect the state of her soul, and the mask of the grumpy wife will be removed for at least the next few weeks.
Surrounding the wife with attention and care
The manifestation of a man's attention and care towards her has a powerful soothing effect on the spouse's state, fueled by daily negativity. After all, a woman is like that spring Flower who craves light, water and personal care. She needs to feel needed, significant, necessary for her family and her man. Giving her some affectionate words in the morning before work, by running into a kiosk with flowers after a workday and handing them to her in the evening in a cozy atmosphere at dinner, a man will at least achieve her surprise and a shade of gratitude in her shining eyes. Continuing the marathon to eliminate bad mood sweetheart with an early rise next day and a cup aromatic coffee to bed with toasts, a man will surprise his bewildered wife even more. There will be no trace of the grumpy wife - her bewilderment in good sense this word will be reflected in favorable atmosphere created by her at home.
Provocations and tricks in the fight against the grumpiness of the wife
If the woman is not taken with the above methods, which, of course, is unlikely, the man will have to switch to heavier artillery. It should be noted that in addition to love for beautiful dresses, pacifying pastime and unexpectedly pleasant actions of her husband, a woman, like air, needs a strong feeling that she is her husband's only beloved woman. Very often, outbursts of jealousy do not allow her to remain a kind and sensitive wife, giving an excuse, no, no, and to prick her husband with an unfounded remark regarding his infidelity.
To stop his half, a man will have to cheat and once or twice, as if by chance, throw a couple of phrases that “our godfather Vovka has a wife in Once again threw a tantrum about non-existent betrayal, so he filed for divorce. " Or again: “Do you remember my colleague on work with suppliers, Vadim? I left my wife yesterday. She says she sawed off his brains that he was driving shura-mura with his secretary. So after all, to such an extent that he wasted it that he, being faithful to her all this time, in fact had to change with the same secretary! " Believe me, it acts on my wife like a stun gun. She will ponder what has been said for a long time, but as the accumulation of such phrases launched by her husband, as it were, between times, the woman will become much more careful in her behavior, her words and deeds. The marriage will be saved.
grumpy wife
There is an opinion that a woman becomes grumpy when she feels that her life has not worked out, and is looking for someone to blame for this. There is an opinion that she really lacks something, and so original method she wants to get it. What to do with the grumpy: train or please?
At ideal man the woman is rude and sad. Finds new vices in order to continue to re-educate him.
And so - the complex at the heart of grumpiness may not lie so deeply - the main thing is not to start the situation and pay maximum attention to your partner. Yes! Hug her screaming. As a rule, he falls silent.
Our ancestors said: if a woman becomes quarrelsome, she urgently needs to be beaten well, or firmly "to love".
There are so many in this folk wisdom, as in the saying "A well-loved woman does not need a fur coat and does not cling to trifles." And again: "Baba, do not grumble, as if God is not with you!"
Women, remember! A man does not tolerate when he is shown to be inadequate in something. Do not give him peremptory instructions if he does something wrong:
Didn't clear the table
Didn't make the bed
I fed the baby with a cake before dinner. He can say: "Well, then herself!" and keeps a promise.
Decide for yourself what is more important to you: so that he does at least something around the house in his own way, or that you yourself plow in the right way? Men do not tolerate their leadership and teams! Grunts and demands we only annoy men.
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