Arab family. How does an ordinary Arab family live in the UAE. Education and work
We all know about the untold wealth of the Arab sheikhs. But let's take a look at how an ordinary arab family in the UAE?
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Family comes first in the UAE. Arab woman being a guardian family hearth and respected Arab men. It is believed that a family is happier the more children it has.
ACQUAINTANCE
The decision to marry is made primarily by the groom's family. Women's rights in Muslim countries are equivalent to men's, so the potential bride has the right to refuse the proposal if she does not like the groom.
Arab women almost never marry Europeans - for marrying an infidel, she will simply be expelled from the country forever. Men from the UAE sometimes marry girls from Europe - but even here everything is built in such a way that marriage does not benefit anyone except the man. For a woman, this marriage will not become a pass for obtaining citizenship, children, if family life does not work out, will be taken away and left in the country.
True, the very marriage with a rich Emirati is a pleasant thing in many ways, while it lasts. Indeed, according to the law, even if the wife is the second, third or fourth, each has her own separate house, generous maintenance, and the share of attention should be equal to each of the “beloved” women.
Today, not every Arab can afford polygamy. Although Islam allows up to four wives, the main reason for this monogamy is the lack of funds to maintain a harem. Therefore, the classic UAE family, consisting of one husband, several wives and a harem, is the privilege of sheikhs and wealthy people.
WEDDING
If for European honeymooners marriage contract is only now beginning to come into fashion, then for the Arab countries such an agreement is obligatory element weddings. The marriage contract is signed instead of the bride by her two relatives.
Of course wedding celebration after the signing can take place within a year - before that, the groom can see his future wife only in the presence of her relatives. For the bride, the groom's family pays a dowry, which can reach several hundred thousand dollars, so giving birth to girls is profitable.
An Arab wedding is a truly grandiose spectacle. The table is bursting with treats, which are constantly updated in order to show the guests their hospitality and abundance. Since Islam forbids alcohol, holiday table there is nothing stronger than coffee. But this does not prohibit walking the wedding up to seven days.
FAMILY WAY
The conventional wisdom about discrimination against Arab women is, in fact, somewhat exaggerated. In any Arab family, a woman must obey her husband, but she always takes part in solving important issues.
The fact that married women in the Emirates live like in prison is a myth. Yes, they are almost invisible on the street. Those that are - in black.
In fact, a married woman can wear whatever she wants: a mini-skirt, jeans, and shorts (they are generally big fashionistas there, they can spend hours in stores choosing ultra-modern outfits and fabrics), but she must wear black on top. a silk cape to the toes, and cover her face with a black scarf. Only fingers, feet and eyes are visible. And then, black capes are rare.
Today on the streets you can see an Arab woman in jeans and a tunic, but the only thing that is still adhered to is a head covering. Here's someone you rarely see, so it's a woman without a scarf on her head.
Older women cover their faces with a copper mask. The young, of course, are more liberated, but all the beauty is for the husband.
By the way, Emirati women receive quite a decent education, the best universities in the world are open for them, but scholarship remains unclaimed. Having married, the girl can no longer work: either she is forbidden, or she does not want to herself, tired frequent pregnancies and childbirth. Young people are more progressive in this regard. And many girls, having received education in Europe, stay there to make a career. Arab families living outside the Muslim world seldom seriously adhere to centuries-old traditions.
Once upon a time, an Arab husband could tell his wife at any time: “Talak, talak, talak” (“go away”) - and this meant that he was divorcing her, and she should immediately get out of his house, taking with her only what what she was wearing. Therefore, women - just in case - wore all the gold presented to them. Now, of course, this is an anachronism.
But women still wear kilograms of gold (for example, the daughter of a sheikh at her wedding was adorned with 16 kilograms of gold. Newspapers described in detail each jewel and published photos, indicating the exact price). And men give gold instead of flowers. The more the gift weighs, the stronger love. According to a local saying, a woman without gold is naked.
And for those who are worried about the "oppression" of Arab wives, their Muslim husbands, we can say: a woman in the UAE can file for divorce in two cases:
1) If there is a fact of infidelity on the part of the spouse. But this article is obviously "dead", because. Polygamy is legal in the UAE. And if the husband did sin, the wife prefers to keep quiet. No one will marry such a “scandalist” again, and a train of gossip will follow her all her life. Again, children in a divorce stay with their father.
2) If the husband does not provide enough for his missus. Well, there, she doesn’t go to restaurants (true), she doesn’t buy gold (true), she builds a house worse for her than other wives, etc. The court considers such petitions very carefully and, sometimes, satisfies them.
After all, a rich Emirati can afford several wives, but everyone should be treated equally. A clear schedule of visits is established, a separate villa is built for the new wife (not cheaper, but not more expensive than the previous one), the money is distributed in equal proportions, and in general - the wives should be happy with everything. If something is wrong, this is not the wife’s problem, but the husband’s, who failed to “resolve” the situation.
Kinship support in an Arab family has tremendous power. For example, if a woman is widowed, her husband's brother considers it his duty to marry her and protect her.
What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear about an Arab family? Surely these are women who are imprisoned in gilded mansions, like prisons, deprived of the right to vote. Or men who maintain numerous harems and keep their wives in golden cages. But is it really how people live in the UAE?
Editorial Interesting to know will tell you exactly how the average Arab family lives.
Acquaintance
It is known that the family is the highest value in the Arab world, and it is no secret that the traditions and practices that have been followed for millennia have not changed over time. Europeans still think that women are not asked for opinions when getting married, to some extent this is true, the decision to get married is really made by a man, but a girl can easily give up her hand and heart if she doesn’t like the groom at all .
UAE residents and foreigners
But the rumors that girls are forbidden to marry foreigners the purest truth- if a girl decides to connect her life with a representative of another faith, she can be deprived of citizenship. But Arab men are a completely different story, they can marry European women, but in this case, a very unsweetened life awaits European women, since they do not receive citizenship, and in the event of a divorce, the children remain with their father.
Harem
Polygamy is still officially allowed, but today not many people own harems. The reason is quite real and understandable - money. The husband is required by law to give equal attention to every woman. And now count, it is not so easy to support one woman, but what if there are several of them?
Wedding
Marriage contracts in the UAE have been practiced for a very long time and are a mandatory norm for marriage. But it is interesting that the contract is signed not by the future spouses, but by the groom and the bride's family. Before the wedding, the bride and groom can only see each other in the presence of the girl's family. The tradition of kalym is also practiced - we note that the amount sometimes reaches tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Women
We also note that the horrors of the life of an Arab woman, which are legendary, are in fact greatly exaggerated. A woman takes part in solving important issues, she can wear any clothes, but she is obliged to wear a black cape on top if she leaves the house. Since beauty should remain only for the spouse.
Also arab girls are free to go to study, but the question is, do they want to? Since after marriage they are not allowed to work anyway. But modern girls begin to break stereotypes - they leave to study abroad and stay there.
Jewelry
You will never meet an Arab woman who is not hung with gold and various jewels. Interestingly, this tradition dates back to ancient times, when a spouse could say “Talaq, talak, talak” three times - “let go”, “release”, which was tantamount to announcing a divorce. After these words, the wife was obliged to leave the house and take with her only what was on her at that moment. And that is why women began to wear almost all the donated jewelry.
We also note that in this country gold is given many times more often than flowers, since it is believed that the more the gift weighs, the stronger the love.
1. Marriage is preordained
revered in the Arab world family values and traditions that have not changed for centuries. It is believed that the fate of the girl is predetermined by her relatives. They themselves choose a husband for her, and no one is interested in her opinion. But, in fact, this is not entirely true. If the bridegroom did not like the bride, then she has every right to refuse him.
2. There will be no wedding without kalym
The marriage contract in Arab families has long been the norm. Only the contract itself is signed not by the bride and groom, but by the girl's parents and future husband. The tradition of kalym is observed, but not obligatory. If the girl is pretty and educated, then the groom can give tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars for her.
3. All men keep harems
In many Arab countries harems are officially allowed, but not all men have them. The main reason is money. Maintaining several wives is quite a costly business, especially considering that the husband must give equal attention to all the wives of the harem. If you give jewelry, then everyone, not just one.
4. There are no divorces
A man can divorce a woman if he says following words: "Talaq, talak, talak!", which means "to let go, to release." Wives fear these words more than fire. If suddenly the husband utters them, then the wife must leave the house in what she is wearing at that moment. Therefore, women always try to wear all their jewelry, of which they have a lot. After all, in Arab countries it is customary to prove your love not with bouquets of flowers, but with gold.
5. Marriages with foreigners are prohibited
If an Arab woman decides to marry a foreigner, she will be deprived of her citizenship. Marriages with representatives of other faiths are indeed prohibited. But a man can marry a foreigner, but if he divorces her, then the children will legally stay with him. 
6. Women have no rights
Of course, the head of the Arab family is the husband, but the wife also has many rights. She can take part in decision-making family matters. Also, a woman is allowed to wear any clothes, but only when she goes out into the street she must wear a black cloak, since only her husband is supposed to see her beauty.
If an Arab woman has a desire to learn, then this is not prohibited. Many girls even go abroad to get an education. How useful this is is another question. After all, after marriage, they cannot work. Their main duty is to take care of their husband and children. 
Each country has its own customs and traditions. What at first glance may seem absolutely unacceptable to us, is the norm in other cultures and religions. In any case, you can never judge by the outer shell, because under black capes they can hide completely happy women who would not like another life.
Stars scattered over the desert and hot sand. Bitter, unfinished coffee and long conversations with my mother, who begs to come to her senses. Crazy drive, exoticism and a seductive accent of crazy and passionate declarations of love.
This is what it looked like a year ago. “Alexandra, how do I love you in Arabic?” I ask my counterpart. The girl strains her memory and looks away. He thinks for a long time, about a minute - "Ana akhebek." In the voice of pain and despair. It was with these words that everything in her life went differently.
Today it is not so difficult to meet a girl who has become a hostage of feelings for an Arab. Marrying a person who belongs to the Eastern culture is very serious. Your fatal "yes" really returns the course of your destiny in a different direction. There, to the East, where the Tigris and Euphrates carry their waters. After all, accepting your beloved man and not accepting his mentality is unrealistic. However, even today, in the era of information accessibility, many of our countrywomen, marrying representatives of Eastern culture, feel more like not “Roksolana”, but “Alice in Wonderland”. Moreover, these miracles bear little resemblance to the miracles of Aladdin's lamp.
What is it, happiness with an oriental handsome man? What can modern Roksolans hope for and is it necessary to change a fashionable mini for Abai (a wide dark-colored raincoat)?
No one was looking for definitive answers. After all, firstly, an Arab is just a nationality, and not a specific collective image. And to fix stereotypes behind him is not worth it. And, secondly, there are more unhappy stories.
Why? Probably due to the fact that people mostly rejoice quietly, but cry loudly. However, the characteristics of the relationship between a man and a woman in people from the East are indeed encoded almost at the genetic level. And the dominant position of a man in the family is dictated by Islam - this is an indisputable fact. The question is how it is interpreted by a Muslim: to consider a woman his property or simply reserve the right of the last vote. It all depends on upbringing, character, and even on the country where your loved one comes from. I will say one thing for sure: the Arabs are very beautifully looked after. “They know how to drive crazy,” our girls admit.
How? First of all, words. Compliments like “your eyes are like the sea” or “where did such an angel come from unearthly beauty”, you must admit, against the background of the jargons familiar to us, they still make an impression. It happens that girls are led by gifts or financial opportunities of oriental beauties, although the stereotype that all Arabs are well off is very often more erroneous. Another motive may be the status of “married to a foreigner” itself, but this is more of a topic for lovers of marriage agencies and specialized sites on the Internet.
After beautiful courtship, love often breaks out. Many warn: do not fall in love with the Arabs, because they all leave home sooner or later. Oh trust me it's not the worst thing that can happen. However, I will make a reservation right away: every love story - regardless of who its character is - is individual. It's not for us to judge, we just catch trends. As, in fact, in the story with which this article began.
Diagnosis of a Broken Destiny
Shadows "Ruby rose" - that was the first gift from a pretty Arab student. Indeed, to doom these feelings to commercialism, as is often done in the case of oriental beauties, is more than ridiculous. Several times we went to a disco, even less often - to a cafe. Mostly walking around the city, talking. Alexandra was thrilled by the numerous compliments of Amar, a future dentist from Iraq. When she fell in love, she herself did not notice, but one day he said that he could not live without her, and the girl realized that this was mutual. Of course, questions arose about both faith and its traditions. “Everything will be fine, my life,” the handsome man assured. “I love you Christian, and therefore I will love our children.” He swore that for the sake of Alexandra he would do anything, he would live in Novosibirsk, so that neither his wife nor his children would know the fear of war. Parents? Of course, against. But this factor was so insignificant against the background of their Great love that can overcome everything. At any rate, Alexandra was sure of it. Over time, her parents reconciled and accepted an exotic son-in-law - all the more so, the newlyweds were both still studying, so they lived at Alexandra's house for the time being. A year later, they had a boy. It seemed that here it is - family happiness.
“We have to go,” Amar pulled out some kind of certificate from his pocket. He said that he was very sick and he urgently needed an operation. “They don’t do this in Russia,” the young man assured. “Only in Iraq.” The diagnosis was confirmed by three doctors. Their son was barely seven months old, and the prospect of such a long journey frightened the young mother. However, Amar categorically forbade leaving the child at home: “We are one family. And now we should always be together. What if I die there? I need you".
The Arab family
Indeed, the family for the Arabs is in the first place. But the family is also their brothers, sisters, mom and dad. Among everyone in Amara's homeland, Alexandra felt like an unnecessary foreigner. The girl was forbidden to go outside, dressed in a hijab (shawl) and Abai (wide cloak) and slowly began to explain the laws of Islam. Islam for Muslims is more than just a religion. Alexandra asked Amar not to delay the visit and go to the doctor as soon as possible. "What doctor, fool?" She heard back. It turns out that the beloved just meanly deceived her. It was July. In September, they both go to school. Returning to her homeland, she and her child will never come here again - to a country where the nearest person has a different face. Other manners. Another Amar. Amar, who obeyed his parents in everything and a family that simply hated his Christian daughter-in-law.
In August, the man said that, according to the laws of Iraq, he had to join the army for six months and, leaving Alexander and his son with their relatives in the city of Dahuk, simply disappeared. Amar's father had the girl's documents, and the phone "mysteriously" disappeared immediately after arrival. “To serve military service,” as it turned out later, Amar left for Novosibirsk, where he needed to complete his studies. There he was seen by mutual acquaintances and told about this to Alexandra's parents, who no longer knew if their daughter was still alive. Mom found her son-in-law and made him call Alexandra. The conversation was carefully controlled on both sides. The girl could not say anything, but, telling how chic she was received in Dahutsi, she could not resist and cheated: “Mom, press the horse and pull the bridle.” The mother understood: the daughter and grandson must be saved. Attracting the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the parents nevertheless managed to ensure that six months later Amar left for Iraq and brought his wife to Novosibirsk. But... without a child. According to the laws of Islam, the child always stays with the father. And although the boy is a Christian and Ukrainian by nationality, Amar's relatives refused to give the child to his mother. How much did they love their grandson? No. And Alexandra was convinced of this back in Dahutsi. When the boy took his first steps, the Arab grandfather, out of anger at his daughter-in-law, scolded him: “You are a puppy! Without you, none of this would have happened!” It’s just that if a Christian woman takes a child with her to the “infidel” land, it will be a shame for their family. And shame, according to Arabic belief, is longer than life. The first words of her son Alexandra heard only on the phone: twice she was allowed to talk with the child. He doesn't know the word "mom" yet.
The Arabs very often build strong family begins with building relationships with the husband's family. “They are me,” almost every second Arab will tell you. If his parents accepted the daughter-in-law, the marriage can already be considered half happy. If something goes wrong, you can complain to your father-in-law or mother-in-law - Arabs are very obedient to their parents. If the father-in-law is against it, then it’s better to leave immediately. Your marriage will not be happy. Especially if you plan to live in his country. Many things that are acceptable for an ordinary Muslim woman can shock and outrage you.
For example, among Muslims, women communicate with women separately from men (you must be silent in front of men). You can eat only when the whole family is at the table and when the father, the head of the family, gives permission. He also determines the duration of the meal. A Muslim woman will calmly accept a request not to go to the market. Usually men buy food for the family. It will also be normal for a Muslim woman to give preference homework and upbringing of children. A man's job is to provide for his family. Of course, there are also Arab women who work, but then it is desirable that it be work with other women (beauty salons, ateliers) or with children (schools, kindergartens, etc.).
If you plan to travel to your loved one's homeland, discuss in advance whether you will adopt his religion or wear it. national clothes and what exactly will be included in your duties at home. Not to mention that it would not be superfluous to clarify whether your potential second half has another wife by chance. According to Islamic law, a man can have up to four wives at the same time. But if so, then he should be more than well provided for, because Allah allows him to marry each subsequent woman only when a man can provide for her.
If you already have children, make them Russian citizenship. And in no case do not change your citizenship or the citizenship of children. Our civil services will provide assistance abroad only to their citizens. In general, since you have already fallen in love with an Arab, learn patience, understanding and tolerance. You accept into your life a person of a different culture and faith, so many things that are unusual for you will have to be shown, first of all, respect. You have to be responsible for your actions. And to marry an Arab is an act that requires great courage.
lotus flower love
"Our love is a continuous struggle with public opinion Marina sips from a cup of green tea. Her phone number was given to me by a friend of mine, and going to meet the wife of an Arab, I expected to see a person of a slightly different type. Marina looked stylish and fashionable - white linen trousers, blouse caramel color and beautiful white sandals with embossed lotus flowers on leather straps. Nothing superfluous or bright, but stylish.
“Although we have been married for more than seven years, I am still tired of ridiculous questions and warnings ...” - at this moment I am shy, because I myself have prepared several provocative questions. I decide to just listen. “You know, Muhammad often repeats that our feelings are like a lotus flower, white, pure and drawn to the sun. And from darkness or bad weather, the lotus simply closes with petals to protect itself.
Arabs are generally disliked all over the world. Especially after the attacks. But, believe me, just on September 11, 2001, I was in my husband's homeland - in Lebanon, and I saw "from the inside" how these "terrorists" went to the mosque - even those who were not very devout, and prayed for the people who suffered in the terrorist attack and for their families, as they apologized to every tourist who came. Understand that religion can be interpreted in different ways. Also, all Arabs, like Russians, are different. And all Arab families are different. My husband and I first came to his homeland when our daughter was two years old. When we were about to get married, Mohammed informed his relatives by phone, and they did not put up any resistance. The only thing was that when we arrived in Lebanon, the mullah married us again according to their laws, despite the fact that we already had a child (in Russia we just got married). I am a Christian. No one forced me to accept Islam, only once a relative of my husband asked if I had a desire to change my faith. I said that it did not arise, and this issue was not raised again. Maybe because even before the wedding I told my husband that I would never accept another religion.
Arabs also appreciate if you have a good education. I have two diplomas - so respect was ensured for me, and I felt it in relation to myself. Although, probably, I was very lucky with my father-in-law - they just wonderful people. And although many say that a Muslim woman is not a person, I did not notice this. Muhammad, it seemed to me, even more respects and listens to his mother than his father. And his father treats his mother with respect, because she bore him three sons and a daughter. In general, we often sat together in the garden in the evenings, and I did not feel deprived of attention. The only thing I would like to say is my position on important issues should be determined before the wedding. For example, before marrying Muhammad, I read a lot about the Koran, about his country and customs. Modern Eastern writers are best suited for this - they illuminate reality without embellishment. For example, I am impressed by the Syrian writer Ulfat al-Idlib. It would be nice to start family life(not only with an Arab) with simple question: what kind of wife does your beloved see next to him? And then think, can you become such a person?
Monologue interrupts phone call. Marina picks up the phone and smiles:
“Of course, my love. Let it be orange. And then, as if embarrassed: “Muhammad cooks for me in the morning Fresh Juice. Here he drove to the market and asked what fruit I would drink from tomorrow.
I shift my gaze to the lotus flower on Alina's sandals. I smile. The East can only be understood with the heart. Loving heart. And what the land of stars scattered over the desert and hot sand will prepare in response - time will tell. The main thing is not to beg him for missed opportunities. And even worse - lost people.
Everyone has heard about the untold riches of the Arab sheikhs. But did you know that the biggest treasure for an Arab is his family? An Arab woman is a real keeper of the family hearth and is highly respected by men. And the more children in the family, the happier she is!
Dating facts
A potential bride has the right to refuse the proposal if she does not like the groom in some way. But still, the decision to marry is primarily made by the groom's family.
Few Arab women marry Europeans, because for marrying an infidel they can simply be expelled from the country forever. But men from the UAE sometimes marry European girls, but marriage will be beneficial only to the husband. A woman in such marriage union does not receive citizenship, and in case of divorce, children always remain with their father.
wedding facts
Marriage contract is an essential element of an Arab wedding. Instead of the bride, the contract is signed by her two relatives.
After signing the contract, the wedding celebration should take place within a year. Until the moment of the wedding, the groom can visit his future wife only in the presence of her relatives. Kalym, which the groom's family pays for the bride, can reach several hundred thousand dollars, so giving birth to girls is very profitable.
An Arab wedding is a grandiose spectacle. The treats are very varied and constantly updated. Thus, the groom's family shows the guests their hospitality and prosperity. Since Islam prohibits the consumption of alcohol, coffee is the strongest drink on the table. However, this does not prevent the celebrations from continuing for seven days!
Facts about family life
The opinion that Arab women are discriminated against is, in fact, somewhat exaggerated. Of course, in any Arab family, the wife is obliged to obey her husband, but she is always involved in solving important issues.
You should not believe that in the Emirates, married women live like in prison. In fact, once married, an Arab beauty can wear anything: miniskirts, jeans, and shorts. Arab women are generally great fashionistas, they can spend hours in stores choosing ultra-modern outfits and fabrics. But, going out into the street, she is obliged to put on a black silk cape from above to the toes, and cover her face with a black scarf. Strangers can see eyes, fingers and feet. All the rest of the beauty - only for the husband!
But today, black capes on the streets are rare. You may well see an Arab woman in jeans and a tunic. The only thing that is still adhered to is the head covering. Therefore, you are unlikely to meet a woman without a scarf on her head.
Emirati women receive a very decent education. The best universities in the world are available to them, but most often their scholarship remains unclaimed. Married woman is unlikely to be able to work: either her husband forbids her, or she herself does not want to, because she is too busy permanent pregnancies and childbirth. However, today's youth in this regard is more progressive. Many girls who have been educated in Europe stay there to make a career.
And one more curious fact: those Arab families that live outside the Muslim world rarely adhere to centuries-old traditions seriously.
Divorce Facts
Since ancient times, wanting to get a divorce, an Arab husband could at any time say to his wife: “Talaq, talak, talak” (repeat “go away” three times). After that, the woman had to immediately get out of his house, taking with her only what was on her. Therefore, even today Arab women (just in case, of course) wear all the donated gold on themselves.
They still carry kilos of gold on them. And men give this a precious metal instead of flowers. The more such a gift weighs, the stronger the husband's love! No wonder the local proverb says that a woman without gold is naked.
A woman in the UAE can also file for divorce, but only in two cases:
If the fact of infidelity on the part of the spouse is proven. But it is unlikely that anyone will be able to get a divorce for this reason, since polygamy is officially allowed in the UAE. In addition, in most cases, the wife prefers to keep quiet about the "sins" of her husband. Why? Yes, because no one will remarry such a “scandalist”, and a train of gossip will follow her all her life. Moreover, children in a divorce always remain with their father.
If the husband does not provide enough for his missus. He is obliged to take her to restaurants (and this is true!), buy gold (also true!), build her a house no worse than that of other wives, etc. The court considers such petitions very carefully and even satisfies them.
Facts about polygamy
Despite the fact that Islam allows up to four wives, not every Arab today can afford polygamy. main reason such forced monogamy is the banal lack of funds for the maintenance of the harem. Therefore, the classic UAE family, consisting of one husband, several wives and concubines, is the privilege of sheikhs and very wealthy people.
In general, marriage to a wealthy Emirati is a pleasant thing in many respects, however, only as long as it lasts. By law, each wife has her own separate house, generous maintenance and the right to equal share attention from her husband.
A clear schedule of visits is set for each woman, a separate villa is built for the new wife (not cheaper, but not more expensive than the previous one), the husband's finances are distributed in equal proportions, and in general - everyone in the family should live in peace and harmony. If something went wrong - this is not the problem of the wives, but of the husband, who failed to “resolve” the situation in time.
So, as we can see, traditions and family support in the Arab family have incredible strength. So, if a woman is widowed, her husband's brother marries her to provide for her and protect her. With proper upbringing and behavior arab women live in such peace and prosperity that we can only dream of!