Fell in love with a guy and he brought friends. Deadlock: what to do if you fall in love with a friend. When feelings are unrequited

26.04.2019

Spending a lot of time in the company of her friend, the girl at one point begins to understand that she feels not only friendly affection for him, but something more. If you fell in love with your best friend - this is not the end of the world, and not the tragedy of your whole life! Such a situation is not an isolated one, and therefore, first of all, it is worthwhile to understand that you are not the only one, and you should not despair.

Do not rush to confess your feelings to him, because it can end in an unpredictable ending. A happy ending is not excluded, when it turns out that a friend is also in love with you, and you can become happy couple... But events can develop and not according to happy scenario! What if he doesn't want to change his status, and wants to stay with you just friends? Will you be able to continue communication after declarations of love, which has no chance of becoming mutual?

We propose to dwell on this issue in more detail and try to understand what to do if you fall in love with your best friend. To start you need to understand yourself, and understand exactly what feelings your friend has for you. Try to remember if there were times when you thought he was in love with you? Perhaps there were hints, or some kind of recognition attempt on his part? For starters, it would be good to sort out your feelings for a friend.

You say to yourself: “What have I done, I fell in love with a friend!”. But is it?

The awareness of falling in love does not come to us immediately. Cases are not excluded when only a few years later you realize that you have fallen in love with someone who was always with you - your best friend. All this time, you can even date other men without understanding your feelings. But how to understand that you fell in love with your best friend, what to do? In this case, the TOP 10 signs of falling in love will be useful.

You always want to be in his company. The world flourishes around him, you feel comfortable, pleasant. When you fall in love, all meetings with him are like the most best holiday a year.
Hearing compliments from his lips in your direction - you immediately melt.
You realize that you are ready to go against his relationships with other girls.
To be with him, you are ready to cancel any date with another.
It is disgusting to hear from him about other girls, especially to see them together.
Before a simple meeting with him, you spend a lot of time preparing for this, thinking over your image "from" and "to".
You share about it with your girlfriends, but there is no desire to introduce them.
You try to be in touch with him every day. If you could not get in touch, you are worried about this.
When hugging him, you want to stay in his arms as long as possible.
It will not be difficult for him to cheer you up. Moreover, he is the only one who can do it.
The heart freezes, and beats often, often at the mere recollection of it.

If this is all about you, then you should understand that it is impossible to combine.

Fell in love with a friend, what to do? Consider whether to hide your feelings further, or hint at your attitude towards him. We advise you to devote one of the days to spending psychological analysis: it will be necessary to weigh the pros and cons of the future decision. If everything says that the time has come to reveal all the cards to your beloved, do not hesitate.

Don't forget that your friend may have their own personal life.

Cases are not excluded when guys leave their girls for the sake of a friend they are in love with, but they are too rare. Even if a friend is lonely, this does not yet mean that he wants to have a second half, and even in your face.

Perfect girlfriend and perfect girl have different characteristics.

When choosing friends, we do not look at appearance, but in choosing a girl for guys, this item plays a big role.

Falling in love is good, but how can you declare your love? And is it necessary to do this? First, you need to create an atmosphere that will dispose you to more explicit topics.

To do this, you can go to a cafe or movie, rent bicycles, or have a picnic. If it is difficult to relax, you can drink a little wine, it is important to know when to stop so that the recognition does not develop into drunken delirium. Break the first friend-zone, you can gently touch it a couple of times, look intently into the eyes for ten seconds. Are you ready for bold and desperate action? You can give him a hint of your sympathy.

Compliment your friend, praise him, because he is the best for you!

If the guy doesn't try to revive you, he probably has mutual sympathy for you. Otherwise, everything can be attributed to alcoholic intoxication, and try to forget this incident the next day, continuing the friendship. Perhaps in the future everything will turn out in your favor.

In the company of your beloved, try to be feminine, wear beautiful dresses with cutouts, short skirts but don't get vulgar.

Unrequited feeling

Having fallen head over heels in love with your friend, who does not perceive you as an object of desire, you have several ways to solve the situation:

Again, you need to understand yourself. If communication only brings suffering, you need to stop it. Nobody says that you need to break the connection forever, but at least until the moment when passions calm down.
Try to find yourself a new hobby, you can go to with friends, go on a date with a new boyfriend, do yoga, go to gym... Those. do anything that distracts from depression and negative thoughts.
Don't be afraid to talk to yourself... You need to explain to yourself that your friend is not an ideal, you will definitely meet the man of your dreams who will make you happy. Focus on your friend's flaws, even if they don't seem to be there at all.
Be yourself- affectionate, cheerful, kind, sweet and do not lose your optimism.
Have an affair with another guy... This great way forget about unrequited love... New feelings will await you candy-bouquet period, you will understand what the other guy needs.

And remember: do not throw a tantrum, and cry, sort things out with a friend... This behavior will scare him away and make him think that you are a dangerous and unpredictable person. Tears in relationships are very frightening for many men who are afraid of exhausting romances.

Pay attention to his reaction, it can be overt under the yoke of unexpected confessions. If a friend did not reciprocate, there is no point in pleading with him to analyze the situation and think about meeting again. Try to get out of this situation with humor, because you should never impose feelings! Another option can happen: you fell in love with a friend of a friend. But that's a completely different story.

Sometimes it happens that you start to suspect yourself that you love your best friend. Gradually, feelings become stronger, and you do not know what to do: confess your feelings or continue to be friends. Friendship in such conditions is very difficult - you have to suffer. What to do? How to find a way out of this situation? Can I confess everything right away, or will this be the reason for the end of the friendship?

Friendship or love?

Before you start taking any action, think about what was the beginning of the change in your relationship. Perhaps you just do not have enough tenderness and attention from the opposite sex. In such cases, the girl tries to compensate for the emptiness that has arisen. Her gaze moves to the nearest object - and there is a feeling close to falling in love. In fact, this state quickly passes, and disappointment rushes to replace it. As a result, there is a great risk of being left without a loved one and without a good, devoted friend.

In order not to be disappointed in each other, it is better to carefully analyze your relationship. Perhaps you will quickly understand what is in your heart - friendship or love.

Preliminary reconnaissance

If you are firmly convinced that you have fallen in love, then it is time to act. Try to subtly find out how your friend really treats you. Perhaps he has been in love with you for a long time and hopelessly, but he is forced to hide his feelings. Unfortunately, with heterosexual friendship it often happens that one of the friends is in love with the other. Only to avoid problems, he simply hides his feelings under a noble guise. If this is your case, then the slightest hint is enough for the wall to collapse. Of course, sometimes it can be very difficult to do, but in this situation it is a necessary phenomenon.

If feelings are mutual

If it suddenly turns out that the feelings are mutual, you can safely transfer the relationship to new level... True, this should be done gradually so that there is no feeling of understatement.

If you are not mistaken, then such a union is simply doomed to success. It's just that couples that have formed as a result of long-term friendships are considered the most durable. People have studied each other well, are familiar with the advantages and disadvantages, which makes it much easier life together... You will very easily tolerate each other's shortcomings and evaluate yourself for who you are.

When feelings are unrequited

If suddenly you realize that you are being treated like a friend, then it is better to retreat. It will be too difficult to overcome internal barriers, and the guy in this case will periodically tell his revelations and secrets. He will tell you about his exploits, ex-girlfriends, and then he will reproach himself for a long time. Only you will not feel better from such remorse, and the relationship will gradually begin to deteriorate. As a result, you will lose your friend, and a deep wound will remain in your heart. In order not to bring the situation to a tragedy, it is better to stop in time. Just forget about your feelings, find an opportunity to drown them out - and the friendship can still be saved.

Good day, dear readers... Today you will find out what to do if you fall in love with a friend. You will learn how to find out if a guy is having reciprocal feelings. You will know whether it is worth talking about your love and how to do it.

How to find out about his feelings

If this happens, the girl realizes that she has fallen in love with her best friend, the first thing that begins to worry is whether the young man wants to change the role of a friend to his beloved boyfriend. You need to think about it, perhaps your feelings did not arise from scratch, they are a consequence of what a friend has been experiencing for a long time love affection and gives signs of attention. It is possible that the guy himself is afraid to talk about what is in his heart, does not want to take risks. friendly relations, after all, so he can be left alone. In such a situation, it will not be superfluous to talk with mutual friends, just do it indirectly, but try to find out carefully. It is possible that they themselves will begin to tell you that a friend is somehow especially looking in your direction or showing concern. They have long guessed about his feelings.

Friends communicate closely, spend a lot of time together. In order to understand what a friend has in his heart, you just need to observe his manners, behavior, look.

A young man never turns his back on you.
Almost constantly looks straight in the eyes.
He does not talk about his ex-girlfriends, victories over them.
He will behave differently around you than around friends.
The guy often gives "friendly" gifts.
The young man tries to spend as much time as possible next to you.
The guy is interested in your life, helps in case of trouble.
Shows obvious concern, worries about you.

To confess or not

If you know your friend isn't dating anyone right now, it might be time to talk about your feelings. This can be prompted by the fact that the guy often, ostensibly as a joke, hugs, kisses on the cheek, and tries to protect in every possible way. You must understand that long time you will not be able to hide your feelings, because they will become too obvious. Well, why bother and try to hide something, it is better to honestly tell about everything.

Of course, it is possible that the friend will be stunned, it will turn out that he does not even feel anything like that. In some cases young man it will just take time to think it over, perhaps he himself has long changed his attitude towards you, but he is afraid to admit it to himself.

A girl should be prepared for the fact that after everything becomes known, she may lose her boyfriend forever. Indeed, in a situation where one friend's feelings have grown into love, and the other does not, nothing else remains. Here, in fact, either the feelings turn out to be mutual, and the couple begins to meet, or the friends part, the girl suffers, but over time she meets a new love.

Sometimes a young man who does not feel love may agree to become a guy and a girl, because he does not want to lose a friend in your face. Over time, he will either fall in love or understand the meaninglessness of your intimacy, then he will have to part.

Possible ways

In the presence of a friend, do not think about your former boyfriends. We can say that you dream of starting serious relationship with a man like him.
Invite a friend to the party. Here he will be able to see you in a new light, because you will visit the hairdresser, put on nice outfit... Make a preliminary arrangement with a friend whom your friend doesn’t know so that during the party she will come up and note how beautiful your couple is. And here the main thing is to follow the reaction of a friend. If he immediately begins to deny your relationship, then he treats him like a friend. If he does not say anything, then you will not say anything either. At the end of the party, be sure to retire and tell him about it. Point out that you would really make a great couple, I wonder what it would be like if you started dating.
Change the environment that is familiar to you, you can invite a friend to play tennis or go to the movies, like in a friendly way. Try to create such meetings as often as possible, to be together more.
If a friend still does not know everything about your hidden talents perhaps now is the time for him to demonstrate them, to open up in a new way.
Touch it often. Let it be minor touches, straighten his bangs, stroke on the shoulder. Perhaps emotions will wake up in him, the guy will feel the pleasantness of your closeness.
Feel free to ask him for help. After that, be sure to give thanks. It is important for a man to feel his strength and feel that he is needed.
Most efficient way: You can kiss your friend directly on the lips and see his reaction. If a young man himself has been tormented by love for a long time, he will reciprocate, he will be even stronger on the lips. If it comes as a shock to him, you can always say that something has come over you. Let this event be preceded by some positive emotions.
Sometimes no hints help convey to the guy the awareness of what is in your heart. In this case, it remains to directly talk about your feelings, knowing about the possible reactions.

Remember when you first felt that you were experiencing feelings stronger than friendships. Did it not arise at the moment when a friend started dating some girl. If so, your sense of ownership just played a role, because now you need to share it with someone. In this case, most likely you will not lose friendship, unless new girl will not turn him against you.
Flirt with your mate, but don't make any promises. It is important that he sees next to him attractive girl, and not "his boy" who ran with him in the yard.
Try to provoke him to jealousy. If your meeting with another man is unpleasant for a friend, it means that he is not indifferent.
If you are tormented by doubts about reciprocity, you can offer a friendly trip to the cinema for a movie about love. Thus, you will unobtrusively hint to a friend about your feelings. At the same time, such an invitation will not cause violent resistance.
Start touching him more often, do it in a no-nonsense, friendly way. Over time, let them grow into the category of soulful and affectionate. If you hug when you meet, hold him longer in your arms.
You, for sure, have been friends for more than one year and you know a lot about your friend, about his views on girls, about what he likes. Now nothing prevents him from becoming that ideal for him.
If you feel that your friend is breathing unevenly, but for some reason is in no hurry to talk about his feelings, you can take the first step, invite him to a cafe, for a romantic meeting.
It is not recommended to overtly communicate your feelings to a friend. Better to prepare it, start hinting from afar.
In order for the guy to look at you from a different angle, it is recommended to change his or at least somehow change. For example, if you always run with a friend in sports shoes and sneakers, it's time to put on a skirt, loose your hair, and put on heels. Let your friend see that next to him is not “his boy”, but a beautiful beauty.

In fact, this is far from a rare case when a guy and a girl are friends and then fall in love. If you have such feelings, this is a pattern, because you spend a lot of time together, have known each other for a long time, you probably have common interests and outlook on life. It is so wonderful when a best friend becomes a beloved man. Just do not be afraid to lose friendship, to remain silent, hiding what is in your heart. The girl must understand that all this time and the guy can be tormented by his feelings.

It is believed that falling in love with a friend is normal and even correct. After all, friendship is one of the components of love. But, what if you fell in love with a friend, and the situation is not simple, with some nuances and delicate moments?

Virtual world

Falling in love with a man on the Internet is not difficult. It’s even easier than into a person from his real environment. This may sound silly. But everything has its own explanations. The thing is that virtual communication does not give as much information about the object of love as it is from communication with a real person... You find out information about a guy during communication, when different situations... But by correspondence on the Internet, it is difficult to add full image about a man, and women fall in love with their own fantasy. What to do? Understand yourself and a man. Try to transfer communication to real world and to understand whether he is the same as in fantasies or not. If this is not done, then thoughts of unrequited love can haunt long years because ambiguity in a relationship is the worst thing.

Rival

Many girls can fall in love with a guy who has a girlfriend. What to do and what to do if you love him, and he loves another woman? There are only two ways out:

To let go
Fight

Letting go is difficult and painful, but only at first. You must understand that this is the only the right decision, in this situation.

After all, if he loves her. It is practically impossible to eradicate these feelings. And even if it turns out to destroy the couple, then it will not work to live peacefully with this guy. The thought that any other can also lead him away will be constantly pursued. It is better to let go and wish you happiness, simple, not with yourself, but happiness.

Fighting is actually even more difficult. If the couple is in love, then acting honestly and well will not work out. In any case, in relation to the girl, who, by the way, did nothing wrong. And you need to be mentally prepared for such actions, wait, endure, forgive.

You can, of course, hope that he loves, but she does not. And it will be easier to break them. After all, you can show him your sincere friendship, sympathy, support and believe that he will understand and appreciate. But, unfortunately, not everything is so rosy. If he has love, then forgetting and abandoning his feelings is not possible quickly. This means that there is a risk of failure and dashed hopes. As a result, suffering and disappointment.

Childhood

In a situation of loving your childhood friend, there is nothing wrong. After all, as you know, there is no friendship between a woman and a man; in such a relationship, there is at least sympathy. And this means that this is one of the positive circumstances for the development of great and true love. Definitely, you should confess your feelings. This, of course, may seem difficult to do. But it should be remembered that a man has a right to know about this. And that your best friend has respect for you, so he won't offend you. So you should try. If he reacts, go ahead. If not, you will remain friends. You shouldn't get away from your feelings. Perhaps this is your destiny.

It's Complicated

If there is love for a friend of a husband or boyfriend, then this is one of the most difficult situations... The difficulty lies in the fact that it takes a long time and frankly to understand, first of all, in herself, her feelings, desires and thoughts. There may be several circumstances for the emergence of love for a friend:

thirst for other relationships
conflicts with husband
lack of love for husband, boyfriend

First, you need to decide: to remain a spouse or not, regardless of whether you will be with another man.

Solution options

Lack of desire to live with her husband, willingness to divorce, lack of good feelings to him.
Dissatisfaction with the relationship with her husband that is on this moment but a willingness to be with him and change relationships and behavior.
Not willingness to part with her husband, fear of loneliness, fear of leaving a child without a father.

From what decision is made and further actions are built.

Option 1. Divorce. And after that you can start building possible relationship with friend.
Option 2. Straight Talk with a spouse. Discussing your relationship and joint adoption solutions. Of course, this is not a quick process that requires strength and sometimes the help of a psychologist.
Option 3. Everything is clear. Keep your family together by finding solace in dreams and fantasies about a friend.

But do not forget that if your love with a friend is mutual, then he can also intervene in the development of the "triangle" relationship.

If there is a love for a friend of an ex-boyfriend (husband), then this is great luck. The man should be made clear that he is not indifferent. After all, nothing and nobody limits you. Your relationship can, of course, be interfered with ex-boyfriend or a husband, but only for the first time. Clarification of the relationship between friends, after a while, will put everything in its place.

Fell in love with a friend and don't know what to do? Should I talk about my feelings? Can a friend become your boyfriend by reciprocating feelings?

Should I show my cards?

If your good friend began to seem unbearably good to you, and you suspected that you were looking at him with different eyes than it was before, perhaps you are in love. It can be a fleeting feeling or true love... Only time will tell the truth. But if you are unable to contain your emotions, you should be patient and engage in introspection. So what do you do? Recognition can become the real problem because the result can be completely unpredictable. Maybe a friend, just like you, feels tender, not only friendly feelings... But the opposite is also possible, and then your friendly connection can be upset, and balance is difficult to restore. Therefore, before revealing all the cards, try to analyze his attitude, because if your friend considers you exclusively as a friend, then is it worth talking about falling in love at all?

How can I check my friend's behavior?

Any girl can fall in love with a friend, none of us is immune from this. Before you confess your feelings, you should "probe" his behavior for the subject of falling in love. Remember, perhaps his behavior has long betrayed love, and his looks are filled with far from friendly tenderness? In addition, a deterioration in your relationship can also be a sign that falling in love exists.

If your friend often tells you about meeting other girls, then he is not in love with you. But exceptions are possible, and this is just a test of your reaction, whether you will be jealous. It’s a bad sign for you that he’s worried about a girl he likes. But if a friend began to show secrecy, says little about his passions, became more squeezed, then perhaps something more serious than friendly sympathy arose in him. A good sign for you is that the buddy does not see decent guys for you.

Signs of falling in love

How do you know if your friend is in love with you? You don't have to read his mind to do this - analyze his behavior! How does a young man in love present himself?

Constantly looking at you.
He mentions less about his girlfriends, as well as about sympathy for others, does not talk about past relationships.
His behavior in your company has become different: either too cheerful, cheerful and open, or more timid and constricted than before.
His ex (current) girlfriend dislikes you.
In your presence, his comrades make fun of him.
He tries to touch you with or without him.
The friend began to show himself in more favorable light with you.

Even if you do not dare to confess, try to hint to your friend about your attitude towards him, speak out warmly towards him, praise his strong qualities, perhaps soon your friend will take a step towards you!