If you let a man into your soul. What men fall for: a woman's perspective

For those who have no talent, detailed articles are written on how to seduce and keep a man, what words and when to say, and even what a woman should feel during orgasm.

And there is amazing women, who, even as a girl, knew how to look at any boy. They differ from others in confidence, unobtrusive pride and inexplicable charm. They are smart feminine mind, which has nothing to do with erudition and intelligence. Their charm is based on sparkling humor and natural sexuality.

Such a woman combines qualities that are sometimes incompatible at first glance. - feeling dignity and gentleness, awareness of their own worth and defenselessness, the ability to love and accept their worthy love. She knows the value of quality - things, communication, relationships, a person. She is ready to sacrifice a lot for the sake of loved one, but will not even allow a loved one to offend himself. AND innate self-respect shines through in all of her appearance. The man does not admit the thought that one can behave unworthily with this woman.

She doesn't stoop to acting and acting - they just don't need it. Flirtation is unnatural for her, flirting will look fake, so she does not use these methods - she does not know how to use them. Therefore, such a woman may not immediately catch the eye, especially if there is a spectacular and bright girlfriend... But it is she who, gradually opening up to the man, sinks into the soul forever.

She does not manipulate a man by portraying a fleeing prey or a valuable woman. She has everything in order with self-esteem, so as not to be afraid to take the first step. She will lend her shoulder when it is difficult for a man. But he won't live with a loser just because he feels sorry for him. Will not accept a brooch with a diamond as an apology for treason. She will be proud successful husband, but will not want to use it for his own career. Not because she is sterilely decent, but because she wants to know exactly what she is personally worth.

She does not start calculating on what date it is already possible to give and whether the man deserves access to the body. She intuitively feels when it's time, and the moment of intimacy with her cannot be calculated by the amount of champagne or roses. She is the woman who can sleep with a man three hours after meeting, and then accept his ardent marriage proposal.

And it will definitely be hot, as opposed to her refusal to tangle him. A man is just a part of her life. Quite large, but only a fraction. And the rest is very full interesting moments- work, friends, satin stitch embroidery and compilation of the author's assembly Total Commander. And she will be annoyed if a man tries to take up too much space in her life.

Therefore, she does not have to pretend to be busy in order to pinch male pride... She is really busy - she has many interests and besides even the most beloved man. Naturalness and versatility - this is the hook on which a man is caught, and with absolutely no effort on her part.

She is not waiting for a prince who will give her happiness. She is already happy - here and now. She is not a timid Cinderella or a sleeping beauty waiting for a deliverer. She is her own queen. Her own bar is high, and she simply does not consider men below her as candidates. Even if they have a thick wallet and rainbow career prospects... She has her own indicators and priorities. And she needs a man she can be proud of. This means that he should be proud of her, on which she is working.

And realizing her intrinsic value, she will not participate in casting brides for eligible grooms. She will not crawl out of her skin to be noticed. She will be natural and calm.

She will not remake herself for someone and try to seem different from what she is. She understands that this is a deception, and it will open very soon - she will not be able to accept someone else's role, and will not want to.

She respects herself, respects the one walking next to her. She is frank and therefore easy with her. And what if not ease are men looking for in a woman?

“There is no life without love,” said Confucius. Thousands of subsequent generations of thinkers and philosophers confirm this truth. The need for love is inherent in us by nature itself. Therefore, the desire of a woman become loved obvious and natural.

How to sink into the soul of a man

The stronger sex is attracted to successful and self-confident women. Be self-sufficient and independent. Do not count on a man's money until the time when you start a family with him.

So that interest in you does not wane over time, try to preserve those qualities of character and natural data with which you conquered your beloved at the very beginning of the relationship. For example, if he was admired by your figure, strive to always be slim and fit, despite the years and despite the birth of children.

As the results of numerous studies and surveys show, a woman's appearance is the most important criterion for her assessment by men. Unattractive and unkempt woman will alienate anyone, no matter how deep it inner world... Remember that the stronger sex loves young, beautiful, sexy, loyal and smart. Yes, the woman's mind is far from the first on the list of male priorities. Hence the conclusion: watch how you look.

You should always be interesting to the chosen one: both as a woman and as a person. Ideal woman should be a passionate lover, sincere and true friend, a skillful cook and homemaker, a caring mother of joint children and many others. To be loved for a particular man, you must correspond to his ideas about female ideal and meet the expectations that are inspired by this image.

A valuable ability that makes a woman self-confident is the ability not to dwell on her shortcomings. This is especially true for the imperfection of natural data and the presence of defects in appearance. It is especially difficult for a woman to come to terms with the latter. But, as experience shows, if you yourself accept yourself for who you are, you can conquer a man too. For instance, former model Heather Mills, having lost a leg in a car accident, nevertheless managed to fall in love with herself O Paul McCartney, marry him and experience the joy of motherhood. And the reason that they subsequently parted was not at all in Heather's physical defect.

Parting words

Can't find your love in any way? Do not despair! Listen to the advice of an American psychologist and author of the book "Practical Intuition in Love" Laura Day: "To love and to be loved - natural states so we don't have to do anything to find our love. As soon as you remove the obstacles yourself, love will surely appear in your life. "

Be yourself. Naturalness is always an advantage. Have self-esteem. Don't try to pass yourself off as someone you are not. Be sincere. This is the only way you can become desired and happy.

It has been noticed that a man does not love the woman herself, but his condition next to her. So Real woman- this is not at all the most beautiful, not at all the smartest and certainly not the most successful in social terms. A real Woman gives a man not a mind, not beauty, not a body, not successes, but a state. A woman who creates a special state in men - masculine - will always be loved. She creates this state on energy level enjoying the company of your man and admiring him. And a man will always be drawn to this special state, like a magnet.

And finally, let's give the floor to the French writer Georges Sand: "There is only one happiness in life - to love and be loved." Without love, life is hopeless.

Love and be loved! And so that it was the same person.

The soul of a man is mysterious ... And women do not always know what kind of men they want to be with. Too frank representatives of the fair sex scare the young ladies, while they give up in front of men-riddles when you cannot understand what is in his soul. But there are things that can really affect any, even the most closed man, and every woman who wants to bring happiness and pleasure to her chosen one should know about them. What do men want from women, but don't talk about it aloud?

1. A woman should be near both in sorrow and in joy

Despite the fact that many women throw phrases that they are ready to support their beloved in any, even difficult situations, in fact, it often happens the other way around. But men, with all their masculinity and steadfastness, sometimes experience not the most pleasant sensations and want their life partner to be there at such moments.

Of course, today society in full force imposes the idea that everyone should solve problems independently. But still, if you want to be for your beloved not just a woman, but also a friend, then in difficult periods his life needs to be close, lend a shoulder and listen, and sometimes just be silent next to his man. And even if he refuses to say that he is tormented, your partner sincerely wants to feel the care and presence of his beloved.

2. A woman should want to recognize a man

Most great gift both for a woman and for a man - this is attention, which manifests itself in a person's desire to know as much as possible about his soul mate, to be interested in plans for life, to find out preferences. So, for the representatives of the stronger sex it is incredibly important to understand that next to him there is a woman whom he, his habits, hobbies and outlook on life likes and interests her. Moreover, she remembers what inspires him and what does not, and takes actions, guided not only by her ambitions, but also taking into account the opinion and wishes of her partner.

3. A woman should enjoy what and how her man does

Since a man is demonstrative by nature and he certainly needs an audience to show everything that he is capable of, to show strength, skills and look authoritative, he needs a woman who will sincerely admire him. Whether he prepares dinner for his beloved, does sports or makes repairs in the apartment, he sincerely wants the woman not to take it for granted, but to at least pay attention to his actions and pay compliments to his actions.

4. A woman should be interested in her man's hobbies

It is with their sensual perception of the world that women attract men. Emotionality, quick change moods - all this, no matter what the representatives of the stronger sex say, they are attracted, because they cannot always speak frankly about their emotional experiences. However, every man would be pleased if his woman wanted to learn some things from male world... He will act as a teacher and will feel in seventh heaven, according to journalist JoInfo Karina Kotovskaya. So, if you want to touch the soul of your beloved, ask questions, ask to explain something to you, teach and you will see how your chosen one will blossom.

5. A woman should tell her man how he influences her

It is important for a man to know that he is doing everything right and charms his lady with every act. That is why he is really interested in how his woman feels when he touches her. It is important for him whether she likes his kisses, whether she feels the very butterflies in her stomach. Of course, women are not used to talking about this and consider it shameful to admit that they turn them on, freely talk about intimacy and express such desires in verbal form. But a man sincerely wants such frankness, because then he will understand how important he is in the life of his chosen one.

Remember that harmonious, emotional and bright relationship are only possible between people who want to be involved in their partner's world. If one loves, and the other only demands, then such a union, even with effort, cannot last long. The main thing is not to choose a life partner from, so that later you do not sob into your pillow and feel humiliated. But beloved, noble and kind man do not let go and love with all your heart!

GET INTO THE SOUL. Spread. Express. 1. Making a strong impression, to be remembered for a long time. And this image of a stone flying downward with increasing speed sunk into his soul(L. N. Tolstoy. Death of Ivan Ilyich). - We, military pilots, have sunk deep into our souls the feat of Ivan Ivanov. And is it not symbolic: our brother-in-arms committed a heroic act not far from the place where in 1914, for the first time in the history of aviation, the famous Russian pilot Pyotr Nesterov used a ram(N. Sautin. The 41st Red Falcons). The man started talking about the war, then got into a twist and sang some of his own song about the recent battles. And the song then sunk into the soul with its sick meaning, the collapse of someone's fate(A. Znamensky. Bridges). 2. Worry, disturb. Petrok thought that it seemed to him - who now, besides Stepanida, could be at the estate? Nevertheless, a faint anxiety has already sunk into the soul(V. Bykov. Sign of trouble).

Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language. - M .: Astrel, AST... A.I. Fedorov. 2008.

See what "Get into the soul" is in other dictionaries:

GET INTO THE SOUL

Sink / sink into the soul- Simple. Make a strong impression on smb.; worry, disturb smb. F 1, 201 ... Big dictionary Russian sayings

TO GET- Get lost, to the west, you’ll get lost, please. time. fuse; sunken (sunken came out of uptr.), sover. (to sink). 1. Fall, roll for something. “You have there, I know, in your pocket with right side a hole, so in the hole, surely, they somehow burned ... ... Dictionary Ushakova

TO GET- (hell, adyosh, 1st person and 2nd person not used), addet; al; avshiy; sover. 1. To fill up where n., For what n. (colloquial). The book sunk into the bed. 2. Push in, become sunken. The keys are stuck. Eyes sunken. 3. transfer. Take a deep impression. The words fuse ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

GET IN THE HEART- what to whom [what] to be remembered for a long time, to leave an indelible impression. It means that the image of someone, deed, words, etc. (P) with their properties and qualities (Z) left a deep, unforgettable mark in the memory of a person or a group of persons (X). speech ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian language

TO FALL IN THE HEART (IN THE HEART). GET IN THE HEART (IN THE HEART). The same as sinking into the soul (in 1 m meaning). The brave Colonel Kutepov, the little woman doctor Timofeeva, in whose presence a man dares not be brave, sunk deep into his heart ... ...

sink- will fall; fuse, la, lo; sunken; St. 1. Enter, go inside. The keys are stuck. The bell button went off. 2. Fall in, become sunken. Eyes, cheeks sunken. 3. what. Spread. Fall down, get where l. when falling. The ring sank into a crack in the floor. 4.… … encyclopedic Dictionary

sink- will fall; zapa / l, la, lo; sunken; St. see also. sink 1) Enter, go inside. The keys are stuck. The bell button went off. 2) Fall in, become sunken. Eyes, cheeks sunken. 3) what time. Fall down, get where l. when falling ... Dictionary of many expressions

TO FALL INTO THE SOUL. GET INTO THE SOUL. Spread. Express. 1. Making a strong impression, to be remembered for a long time. And this image of a stone flying downward with increasing speed sunk into his soul (Leo Tolstoy. Death of Ivan Ilyich). He sunk deep into our souls ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language

FALL INTO THE SOUL- what to whom [what] to be remembered for a long time, to leave an indelible impression. It means that the image of someone, deed, words, etc. (P) with their properties and qualities (Z) left a deep, unforgettable mark in the memory of a person or a group of persons (X). speech ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian language

Books

• Someone's Feelings, Pelam Grenville Woodhouse. The creator of the inimitable Jeeves and Wooster, the frantic Psmith, the eccentric Mulliners has matured. Now before us is a completely different Woodhouse. He is just as funny, also ironic. His stories are so ...

Who has not dreamed of conquering a man at first sight, sinking into the soul, staying in the memory after meeting? Indeed, to make an impression, you have to stand out in order to be remembered. Any search engine will return a dozen pages specific recommendations on the request "make an impression": "Do you want to call positive emotions- be inspiring, positive, optimistic. Seduce? Include a fatal beauty with a proper make-up. " In practice, advice does not always work, and for men you go unnoticed. The author of "Lady Mail.Ru" and psychoanalytic psychologist Dmitry Basov decided to unravel the phenomenon of the first impression.

Miss Perfection

Attempts to make a first impression may be false. Seduction courses, books, the beauty and fashion industries work for looks. There is no second chance at first impressions, which aggravates our eagerness to be liked on the first try. Appearance is the first thing that catches your eye. Neatness, compliance with the situation, availability good taste, that is, understanding what is right, appropriate, what goes and what does not. Taste, of course, is an elusive substance, it is difficult to define it, but this is no longer about what to do, but about what not to do. The picture can be tempting, only the laurels often go to the gray mice. Why is that?

“The ideal is the enemy of the individual. It is important not to try to look perfect from all angles, if we do not want to be chosen as a doll,- Dmitry Basov thinks. - For others to perceive you as a person, you must accept yourself. We truly love the other for his features, which many may consider disadvantages. For example, sweating palms - a woman may be ashamed of this, and a man takes her hand, and he likes it, he considers it cute. The same can be said about stoop, disheveledness, fearfulness. "

In addition to the appearance, the impression is made from non-verbal behavior- facial expressions, gaze, manner of movement, how relaxed the woman is, squeezed, how naturally she behaves. Appearance- this is the reflected "I" of a person. The general picture is remembered, the whole image. Scientists have proven that with the help of words 7% of information is transmitted, sound of a voice, intonation - 38% and 55% of information we receive through non-verbal communication- gestures, posture, gait, smile, movement. It is important not only what we say, but how. Posture indicates a person's confidence, gestures betray temperament, state of mind.

“Nervousness, fussiness give out fears and apprehensions, which are manifested in gaze, gestures, postures, movements,- explains Dmitry Basov. - Tension, excessive desire to please, too, repel, because there is an unnatural behavior, theatricality. "

Be, not seem to be

The success of the first contact depends on the inner state. The principle of congruence is at work here - coincidence external manifestations with an internal state. If a person is relaxed, friendly, the impression will be appropriate - open, positive. If you strive to create an impression, but internal state at the same time does not correspond, the result will be the opposite, repulsive.

First impression effect

It all depends on the tasks that the woman sets, getting to know what the goal is. Having sex or receiving a gift makes it easier to honestly admit it. "I like you, me too, to you or to me?"

"This is about types of behavior, - Dmitry Basov comments. - When we adjust to types, we give up ourselves. This is fake. It is impossible to build relationships based on type. I am impressed by naturalness, benevolence, calmness, openness to people, honesty, sincerity. "

Interest and attentiveness to the interlocutor, to his words is a manifestation of care on the part of the woman. This is accuracy, attention to detail, clarifying questions, attempts to say something pleasant. But the main thing is sincerity, real interest, and not a kind of interest, interest, which is backed up by respect, some kind of admiration.

“Before trying to please, to impress, ask yourself: do I really like this person? Do not evaluate according to the criteria: status, wealthy, well-mannered, educated, suitable, and how much he responds at the level of bodily sensations,- Dmitry Basov recommends. - P try to understand how pleasant it is to be next to him, to dream up, but will it be comfortable with him in 30 years to grow old together? And if warmth responds in the soul, then the question of how to make an impression is no longer worth it.

Seconds that decide for us

The first impression is formed in seconds, is fixed within a minute, remains in the mind for a long time. The effect lasts until the person is truly recognized. The first seconds, to be honest with yourself, determine the further fate of acquaintance.

Everyone has a need for relationships, and there is a certain image of these relationships formed in childhood: what a woman should be, what a man should be. When people meet, for the first 15-20 seconds there is an assessment “mine is not mine”, “fits - does not fit”. This image was already in the unconscious, during these 15 seconds a certain template is imposed, glasses are put on - I want to see this image in this person, he fits this image. In progress living together, recognition, people see real person, and not the image that you created when you met. It often turns out that the reality is completely different from the first impression. Falling in love passes, and nothing that would bind remains - love does not arise, the person turns out to be inappropriate.

Therefore, it is important not to deceive yourself. To be honest with oneself, a person feels what will come of this or that acquaintance. Is not conscious thoughts, and some expectations, the effect of déjà vu. It is important to realize how much you like a man and why you need him. If a woman thinks that it would be nice to have a whirlwind romance now (and mom asks when the grandchildren), emotions are needed, and she begins to tell the man not about her desires, but to present her mother's, father's, society - what is demanded - this repels the man ... If the desire is her own, it is sincere - say, to start a family - there is no need to talk about it, this is clear from how she builds relationships, how she cares. It can be seen and felt. If the other person is also ready for this, the goals coincide - communication is successful.

The same rake

Have you noticed that sometimes women meet men of a certain type? At the same time, a man can behave differently with every woman.

Many women have a distorted view of men, one that was imposed, for example: "all men want only sex or all men are greedy." When communicating, a woman experiences unconscious fears: low self-esteem on the one hand, and object fantasies on the other. Consciously she wants to be with generous man, but how to behave with him or help him become so, he does not know, because he does not know that a man can be generous.

In fact, she provokes him to greed, aggression, rejection. A certain attitude about himself and about others, that which a person does not accept, he unconsciously puts into another in the form of a projection. If a woman says: « How generous you are, paid for », a man wants to do more. Did you bring one rose? « Oh, this is a flower for me, thank you, so nice, so took care of me », he wants to bring an armful too. If a woman thinks: « I came with one rose - this, of course, is a minus » , next time he won't even want to pay for the coffee. Unconscious fears are important here, and it is precisely excessive expectations, depreciation that make a man succumb, correspond to this unconscious image.

Top not allowed on the first date

Do not devalue men and do not devalue yourself. Often women say: "Oh, but I don't know how to do that," they compliment - "Oh, but it's not true." On the contrary, it is important to calmly accept when a man compliments, admires, or praises. And do not devalue men: avoid value judgments in conversation, by type, all men are the same, go to the left, no one wants to get married, and the like.

Vocalize and have high expectations.“I would like a man to support me, or“ I would like to get married, ”or“ I want ideal family". Excessive internal expectations, when a person wants a lot, repel and spoil the impression.

Tell about problem relatives, unhappy, unsuccessful acquaintances with a difficult fate... Even talking about someone, we still talk about ourselves, about some aspects of our personality, some unfavorable aspect of our unconscious, the interlocutor reads, one way or another at an unconscious level correlates it with the speaker.

What do you need

Create a space for conversation and respect certain boundaries of this space. If there is sympathy, do not invite third parties to join, it is advisable to stay alone, walk away together, change seats at another table.

Remove for a while or turn off the phone if the conversation is meaningful... Do not talk, do not write, do not read text messages. But also not to ignore when the phone goes off - this will alert the interlocutor, he puts himself in the place of the caller: "Yeah, she can ignore me too." On a symbolic level, the phone can be viewed as a symbol of mom: how much a girl or woman is attached to her phone or does not let go of it, it can talk about an unconscious connection with mom, even if she does not communicate with her or lives in another city. This may indicate excessive attachment to mom, lack of independence.