What is the respect of a man to a woman manifests itself. Information resource of psychology "Psi-Poltava". Psychologist's view: why the situation arises

With the name of Allah, merciful and all-aircraft!

There is such a statement: " Think so that your thoughts are carved in the sky. The way it is" Many people do not realize the consequences of their thoughts, although even their deepest secrets are "transformed" through the expression of their persons, the nature of the actions, fate. The negative attitude of the man to the woman also "shows" in the form of certain negative consequences ...

FROM psychological point vision disrespect for a woman has a little fatal meaning for a man. As a result of research, it was found that a man who does not feed unconditional respect for women and considers them not worthy of confidence, chooses a woman in his wife who is really so. Not that of many, he is specially looking for the worst, just his attitude is configured in such a way that he either not notice its explicit flaws, or chooses such whose temper "is predisposed to bad". I.e a man who does not respect women unconsciously takes into his wife such a partner who will not become good example For their children. Thus, he as if confirms his unflattering opinion about women.

This pattern is often the answer to the question why some successful, state-owned, educated men find a couple or "nonpāra", which they consider others, in the dunks. Because the Most High Allah, who knows our intentions, is not mistaken in the choice of our spouses and chooses them according to our intentions, and not an external shell.

However, this negative consequences are not exhausted. Girls born in where the father does not respect women, tend to behave in a boyish: play with boys, climb trees, stick in fights, wearing trousers, etc. The psychology of children is that they imitate the parent of their sex and at the same time try to please the parent of the opposite sex. That is, the boy imites his father and seeks to please the mother. And the girl - imites the mother and strives to please the Father. One of the items of Father's Father is the unconscious refusal to female role - Imitation of boys in the case when the girl understands that the Father does not like women in general. Thus, the father pushes his daughter to one of the damned Most Highs - imitation opposing semi , "Throwing" his women's essence. Since in one of the Hadith, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and welcomes, said: "Allah cursed a woman like a man" (Abu Daud, 4099)

The third negative consequence is adamming the son of the belief of his father. The number of which is also related to women. As we said above, imitate parents of their sex. And if the father shows disrespect for a woman, be it a word, a act or even conviction in their inferiority, then the boy adapts them as correct. After all, he does not have other such authoritative samples for imitation, as an example of a father. Consequently, if in the future the boy will consciously not change his views and go with this "decent baggage" to build personal life, then the chances are that he will repeat the history of the Father - will choose a partner to become his own opinion about them. Even if it is good, educated and enjoys success.

Thus, disrespect for a woman " punishable"Three negative consequences For a man:

• the choice of a partner corresponding to a low opinion of women;
• unconscious translation of dislike for women, pushing the daughter to imitate the boys;
• transmitted son negative attitude To women, because of which he "repeats" the same father's mistakes.

A woman largely depends on the relationship of a man to her. A worthy attitude can even make a good queen from the "Witch", and a bad, overwhelming or too "obeying" - on the contrary. Not necessarily possess knowledge of psychology to avoid such consequences. It is enough to follow the example of the Messenger of Allah, and bless him Allah and welcomes who bequeathed good relationship To women and said: "The best of you is one who applies to his wives better than everyone, and I'd rather than all of you and your wives."

Anas, may Allah be pleased, also said that the Messenger of Allah, and he bless his Allah and welcomes, was the best of the people in relation to women and children. Being kind to indulge in everything, obey her or be her slave, which means to keep her rights, respect her dignity and take its significance. And such a kindness and love for a woman only manifests himself in actions and words, it takes the beginning with immaculate thoughts about her and patient, indulgent, heart rate.

Good day, dear readers! In fact, all the girls worries such a question as respect for a man to a woman. What is it manifested? What is it at all? And is it so necessary if there is love? Let's see what psychology says about it.

In relations between a man and a woman there is no little things. Everything takes place and time, and sometimes it can turn around both pleasant and not very, surprise. Of course, it is believed that the main thing is that in a pair there was love. Then everything is extinguished, swears, it will be forgotten.

But, unfortunately, we all have displeasure to observe the opposite picture, when young spouses diverge, and failed to create a robust family ship. Not to mention the fact that many guys and girls do not "live up" to the registry office, all trying and checking relationships. Which is missing.

Of course, we are not entitled to judge anyone. Each of us makes a choice daily - love or hate, tolerate or run, and many others "or". But still, couples in which respect for each other reigns, a priori is stronger than those based only on unrestrained passion. What is the secret?

What is respect?

According to one of the definitions, respect is the respectful attitude of one person to another, the vocation of its merits. It turns out that a man respects a woman if:

• He recognizes her attractiveness;
• Sees it not like everything, special, as a unique and individual personality;
• Show respect for women's work aimed at creating comfort;
• Takes a woman for equal in status, notes her active participation in family life;
• Respets feelings, emotions and experiences of a woman, her preferences and tastes.

If a man does not pay attention to a woman, the latter feels disrespect for himself. And, of course, an extreme degree - Rugan, screams, insults, assault. Separate item - men's treason. After all, this is not just disrespect for his wife as a woman, but also a violation of family values.

A woman is usually difficult to divide respect and love. If people respect each other, they are comfortable and good, everyone can express their point of view without fear of being incomprehensible and rejected. Usually, if the family respects respect, the wife feels his beloved, and the husband is the main thing in the family.

What is due to the respect?

At the beginning family Path Usually both try to respect and appreciate each other. But then the life begins, and cardinal changes occur.

Why is that? According to experts, one of the reasons is the inability to observe the personal space of another person. We gradually cease to notice the advantages of their halves and see only shortcomings. The boundaries between partners in the pair are gradually blurred, they cease to perceive each other as individuals, and, it means, and respect.

The requirements and sense of debt begin. At about this time, a period of love, a man and a woman see each other as it were in the new light. They allow themselves to relax, behave as you want. That is, to allow yourself the liberty and not respectful attitude.

How to save respect?

All at the same time and difficult, and simply. It is necessary to allow your beloved person to be different. Let him remain his own opinion, things, personal time, money, space in the house, habits.

Love without respect is a hurricane, uncontrollable feeling. It deprives freedom, and sometimes even dangerous. Respect without love - just formality, dry and soulless compliance with the established rules. Comes out perfect option - Unity of Love and respect. They wonderfully complement each other.

There is a lot of respect for respect in the family wise sayings and quotes, for example:

Love without respect is short-lived and impermanent, respect without love is cold and weakly (Johnson B.)

Of course, we, women, it is important to love us. But at the same time, love should not sharpen into the cage, make us hostages and slaves. If a man shows respect for our feelings and interests, he becomes closer to us every day. And, whatever they say, we value it more.

Be loved and respected - great happiness. But it is unlikely to bring joy if the game is only in the same gate. And, it means that reciprocity is necessary.
Love to you and joy!

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You probably have already understood from my articles, and someone from books that respect for men to a woman is the most foundation of relations, without which it is difficult to say that the relationship and love of men to a woman in principle exist. And even respect for a woman from a man - this is the foundation of not only a relationship, but also in love, the opportunity to discuss with a man some problems, the opportunity to effectively influence the man and to urge your opinion. If a man does not respect the woman, neither about love, nor about loyalty, nor about the influence on him to speak.

In other words, if there is respect, you can do very and very much with a man. (You can manipulate it, repel, or vice versa, attract, be mysterious or on the contrary to frank)

If a man does not respect a woman, then no cunning words and manipulative techniques usually work. It does not work "accommodate" with pregnancy (it does not matter, real or staged), nor an attempt to organize jealousy of men, flirting with others, nor other "wise" and cunning techniques. First, respect, then influence, in love, the possibility of manipulation, etc.

Why does a man do not respect a woman, what signs and how does it manifest?

That's what I noticed in consultations and trainings, which periodically lead (see in detail). Women who are experiencing problems with men often do not even understand where and as manifests the disrespect of men to them. After all, they with all men behave about the same, and men are about the same way with them. And it is incomprehensible where this is the most disrespect and when it needs to be stopped.

In consultations, I, of course, tell in detail what the problem with concrete man. But what about the girls who just read the site? For you, I wrote something like a benefit on how a man is disrespect for a woman. Those. Signs of disrespect in several parts.

I broke for convenience of them in the stages of relationships, because at each stage they are a bit different, although there are repeats and intersections. And last. I did not include information about those manifestations of disrespect for a woman who are still obvious to this cycle of articles. That is, about beatings, constant humiliation etc.

Stage dating.

— Man is not happy to your appearance.

In essence, this disrespect. Do not smile at your appearance. Does not meet. (If circumstances allow).

It is clear that circumstances are different. And for example, if you just quarreled greatly, if the man does not smile at your appearance - it can be normal. (and then in question)

If you have ordinary relationships, and the man is not particularly glad to your appearance, then this is an unambiguous manifestation of disrespect. Joy, of course, manifests itself not only in a smile (although it is also). This is what he shows other marks of attention and respect. Such as helps to undress, invites you to pass, offers to drink tea, etc. Depending on the upbringing and your previous relationships. Something tells, throws some things that dealt with. (except very urgent)

And of course, a man does not ignore your questions, etc.

- A man does not call on his own initiative, and only answers for women calls. (Means of communication is not important. It may be leadsap, Skype, VKontakte, etc.)

The man himself does not ring a woman - this is an unambiguous manifestation of disrespect. At the beginning of the acquaintance (and then too) a man is simply obliged to show activity in the conquest of a woman. This most he shows, including respect for her female role.

Sometimes I forgive girls to make a meager study. That is, to look at the most frequently used communication tool (telephone, wrap, vkontakte or some more) statistics of the one who more often writes or calls and how long messages.

And it happens, the girl learns unpleasant information for himself, which she essentially knew, but did not want to realize. It happens that it calls or the first writes in 70-80% of cases (or even more) and its messages are much longer in the size of the text, it constantly offers something and somehow persuades a man to meet, then something else .

At the beginning of the relationship, such statistics, when the girl calls or writes in 70-80% of cases and its messages are long, does not go to any framework. A man should call more often (leadsap, etc.), often to offer something and persuade, often tell something.

For later stages of relations normally, when statistics are aligned and even the girl writes a little more. (Again, if he is introvert, and it is an extrovert). But in the first stages, it should not be.

— A man does not accompany the woman to the house if it is relevant.

The man and a woman met, went to the movies, walked around the night city, etc. Often all this ends late in the evening or even the night. (Except for the first date, which is usually not tightened)

It is clear that it's not so safe to come back home and a man should take care of this security. (But it is not so important, it is safe or not) to carry out before the entrance is the best. But even if you do not spend, then organize a taxi at least, and then call and find out how she got.

— Man himself does not come to a woman.

If a man calls and says something like "come faster to me by such a date for a date," then most likely it is a sign of disrespect. (not 100%, but with high degree probability)

Of course, anything happens in life. However, such behavior, if there are still several other signs, most likely talks about low respect for a woman.

A woman who respes himself (and as a reflection that man respects) in response to a call with words like: "I have a couple of hours of free time. Let's go faster and come. "Most likely, I will answer something like:" You need, you come. " (Soft option)

Then, at later stages of relationships, some other laws. And if a man and a woman meet six months and place where they live in a man, he can say something like that. (in soft tone)

But on initial stage Relations This behavior of a man is almost definitely disrespect.

First-third meeting stage. (This is not just about meetings of course, but about dates)

- A man is late for explicit disrespectful reasons. And even if it is late, it does not ring in advance that it is late.

In itself, late for a date on the part of a man (as well as strong and regular late desection from a woman) is a manifestation of disrespect for a woman or a manifestation of complete infantilism.

After all, it is clear that the first dates are very important for the formation of a man and a woman's relations. And if they are important for a man, he should treat them about the same way as not to be late for the aircraft or for a job interview. (On the aircraft is very rarely late)

That is, come on a date in advance. To even traffic jams or some more reasons that can delay a man, did not prevent him.

If there are suspicions that he is delayed, then of course he must call in advance and explain to the girl that he is delayed and how much. (Even this behavior of a man already puts the question of his respect)

So, late male for the first dates is strong sign manifestation of disrespect. This situation is when the girl sits alone in the cafe and is waiting for half an hour the appearance of a potential man, not even knowing it or not (he did not call him) completely unacceptable. And of course, it can not be so easy to forgive, if the next day he called and said: "Sorry, I forgot" or "I was detained the police with the police and I could not go anywhere. And the phone was discharged, money on it ended. In general, I am not to blame for anything, and you yourself are guilty that you do not want to believe :)) "

It should be understood that the lateness of the date is clear disrespect or such infantilism and irresponsibility that it will be impossible to live normally with such a man then.

After all, we assume that it was infantilism and irresponsibility. But he also has its graduation. For example, infantilism is the initial, mid-level and complete infantilism. Significant dedication (or forgot) for the first dates is either disrespect or at least medium infantilism. And the average infantilism is poorly treated.

A man is actively marked at the first meeting. Actively - this means not what is trying to pester, but what continues to do it, despite the explicit resistance and the words that the girl does not like it.

It is clear that a man can start to pester a girl even on the first date. May try to kiss, for example, and if everything went, then continue to continue. I would say that if it is not the most frequent development events, but not the rare. If the girl is not against, then this is her business. (Although I repeat that almost an axiom of the girl's behavior, if she wants serious relationships With a man, it is that sex on the first date is not)

But if the girl against often even a kiss, not to mention the continuation, and the man rushes, insists with words and actions, then this is definitely a manifestation of disrespect.

Here, of course, the desire to drink alcohol almost to the loss of consciousness (not just wines drank a little), here the meeting somewhere far from where it's too late in the evening to get a girl home. That is, this behavior of a man when he is too pushing the woman that she has to disappear to a man, then call her native so that they take it from the village of hard support or something else.

A man does not take care of the girl. (As part of their upbringing)

The manifestation of concerns can be very different depending on the upbringing of a man. But it should be, even if her understanding does not coincide with what girl got used to.

It can be to give the girl the biggest piece of meat, change in the cafe in places, if for example, in one sun shines, give or at least offer your sweater, if in a cafe or on the street is cool.

No other small signs of attention. For example, does not try to cheer the girl, telling funny stories. (It is not a fact that they will freeze the girl, but it is not so important) does not try to help the girl by advice or action, as part of their capabilities and education again. Suppose, does not try to clean the sink, even if the girl lives alone and herself does not know how to do it. Does not try, for example, tell a girl how to act at work, at the institute, etc., in hard situationAlthough most likely he had already passed these situations and could say something.

I repeat that care is quite different different men. One can bring a bucket of potatoes so that the woman is not "starving" and did not drag heavy things, and the other can give something valuable, the third can help make coursework, and the fourth come to former guy And explain that he never went to the girl anymore and did not try to figure out the relationship.

The main thing is that here a man spends his time, money, energy to somehow help the girl and these costs (time, energy, money) were more than he spends on his acquaintances for example.

If a man tries to minimize his spending, I repeat that it is important not only and not so much money, then most likely he does not appreciate the girl and respects. Partially spending (or their absence) I described above. Attempting too much to save your time (for example, it does not go to the girl, does not accompany, trying to get sex on the first date), to save money too much (does not buy anything) or energy (leaves complex conversations, for example).

Sooner or later candy bakery In life, the pair ends. And it happens that loving and attentive husband It begins to let go of an unpleasant jokes, less to reckon with the opinion of his wife or and at all allows himself rudeness ... It is important to understand: the collapse of the relationship begins with such "little things", so it is impossible to humble with such disrespect. However, it is not necessary to panic because of the slightest resentment or misunderstanding. It is important to distinguish between real disrespect and small misunderstandings that happen in the life of each pair.

At the beginning of the relationship, if a man loves, then he is simply not able to show conscious disrespect for his woman. The opinion of his beloved is important for him, even if the female acts and logic he considers the wrong. Therefore, try to change, "re-educate", and even more so offend my wife will not become.

However, it takes quite a bit of time and the situation may change to the worst. Perhaps in the family of parents of her husband was not taken too respectful to women. Or the beloved does not cope with the negative at work and is trying to find a discharge at home. Whatever the reason, in any case, from the former respectful relationship The husband does not have a trace.

Roughness, contemptuous replicas, locked claims and ignoring the opinion of the partner - that's not all signs of possible disrespect. If you accept this situation, soon in your family can become habitual affairs Insults and assault. Therefore, it is simply necessary to achieve respect for her husband.

How to do if the husband has forgotten about respect?

Causes

Before trying to fight with disrespect of your loved one, it is worth thinking about possible reasons This behavior.

• Perhaps rudeness and disrespect were the norm in the family of parents of her husband or in relations with the same girl. Or with his uncompromising spouse just trying to show, "Who is the owner's house." If this is so, then in my family he will try to transfer the usual stereotype of behavior, and it will take a lot of effort to change the situation.
• Disresponsibility can be a symptom of a more serious problem, for example, a treason of her husband. Especially annoying his wife and provoking the scandals in the family, a man can subconsciously "shoot" the guilt, justifying his behavior.
• No matter how sad, the cause of his husband's behavior becomes often the cause of the disrespect of her husband. It happens that in family life, women become picky and intolerant, instead of support and approval by giving her husband offense and claims. Marrying blooming and happy girlThe man expects such and see the spouse in a daily life. And if for a short time the same girl turns into a fused and forever dissatisfied woman in an old coat, then the appearance disrespectful relationship From the side of the husband - the question of time.
• A man can behave disrespectful and aggressively simply due to physiological features. So, fatigue from work or health problems can cause irritability and rudeness of the spouse.

Psychologist's view: Why does the situation arise?

If disrespect from the husband appeared not at the beginning living together, and over time, psychologists advise a woman to seek the causes of such behavior in their own actions. Roughness, insults and other manifestations of aggression can be for a man just a way to protect. Perhaps he is trying to protect against reproaches, notations or too persistent wishes of the wife to become "Second Mom", often disrespect and physical violence from her husband precedes psychological abuse from his wife.

On the other hand, to show disrespect for her husband, feeling the vulnerability and dependence of his wife. For example, when a woman is in maternity leave For the care of the child, her husband reproaches it by the fact that only he is in the family is the only minider. In this case, there are several possible methods affect her husband.

How to make a husband remember about respect?

There are several possible ways to influence the spouse. Start worth S. frank conversation. Not always, showing disrespect, a man is trying to consciously hurt you. Semit right moment, you can safely and tactfully tell him about my experiences and disadvantages because of his behavior. It is important to consider two nuances.

Dialogue - the basis for solving the problem

However, if you understand the feelings of the spouse, the husband is not ready, it is possible to make him remember it and in other ways.

1. Few men love to do homemade. And if in response to men's rudeness you stop cooking, forget about cleaning and do not take care of the availability of a clean shirt for a spouse - he will have serious reasons Think about your behavior.
2. Not less than a woman, a man needs a bodily relationship. Removing him in tenderness and sexual pleasures, You can achieve a real change in behavior. Unless, of course, the reason for rudeness is not in a relationship with another woman.
3. IN psychological support Favorite husband also needs. In an effective way Influence becomes a refusal to communicate. Perhaps the spouse thinks about their actions, if you become more often lingering at work, spending the night at your mother, spend time with friends.

Whatever the way to "punish" the man you chose, is important that he understands the causes of such behavior and could evaluate how much it can be lost due to banal rudeness.

Is it possible to make?

We belong to us exactly as we ourselves allow it. You can even change the behavior of the husband even in the most "running" situations, but it will not be possible to achieve scandals and resentment.

First of all, think about: do you think decent respect? If so, for what qualities and achievements? Achieve respect from others can only self-sufficient person. Therefore, it is so important to realize our own value, to achieve the goals, constantly develop. Rejoice and love yourself, find the time to care and communicate with nice people, look for inspiration in the lessons in the shower.

Self-respecting happy woman It will not live in the atmosphere of disrespect. And the man next to her, most likely, will begin to show respect and admiration. If this does not happen - think about whether you really need these relationships?

Video. How to return the respectful relationship of the husband

A full-fledged family without mutual respect cannot exist. Remember that it is important not only to achieve respect from your husband, but also to respect the values \u200b\u200band needs of your beloved. Only in this case will be able to live a truly happy life.

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