Why you need to know and follow the rules of politeness. What have we learned

22.04.2019

Throughout life, a person comprehends the rules of communication in society. In a formal form, they are expressed by the rules of etiquette. Polite behavior stimulates people to communicate and interact, it is like water stimulating a plant to grow. Respect for the personal space of another person has always been highly valued in highly developed societies. Rules of etiquette and courtesy: we understand the intricacies of communication.

Basic forms of secular behavior

There are three main forms in human communication: official, unofficial, impersonal. Consider the main aspects.

Official

This type is characterized by increased tact. Any appeal contains "you", "you", "you". positive action are accompanied by gratitude, for example, “thank you”, “very nice”, “I am grateful to you”, “you are so kind”, to which it is customary to respond with replicas “for nothing”, “glad you liked it”, “eat to your health” (if you were treated to food). In addition to the appeal "you" in corporate business ethics, position, rank, and achievements can be emphasized.

Unofficial

This form is used when communicating with well-known and close people. It is characterized minimum set strict conventions. The appeal is accompanied by the personal pronoun "you", "you", "with you". The answers are simpler: “thank you”, “be healthy”, “contact me”.

Impersonal

This type is characterized by the absence of a personal pronoun. Words are addressed as if in the air or to everyone at once, for example, “do not tell me what time it is? ”, “Tell me how to get to the square.”

There are no designated norms for the transition in communication from the appeal “you” to “you”, often this happens with a long close fellowship. Poorly educated people are distinguished by the appeal to "you" to everyone without exception. In any interaction of people (with rare exceptions), one of the parties is the initiator. The first at a meeting, subject to mutual visibility, shows signs of courtesy:

man to woman;
subordinate to the chief;
younger than older;
incoming present;
suitable for standing.

How to behave?

To be a truly polite person, it is worth considering a number of basic rules of behavior in society:

Appeal to another person should not be rude, aggressive, loud.
Human movements should be measured and calm without sharp turns and twitches.
Appearance should be neat: it is important to follow the rules of hygiene (it is unacceptable for the body to exude unpleasant odors);
When communicating, it is desirable to use the words "please", "thank you", "all the best" and the like, you can not use swear words.
You can not laugh out loud, grin, passing by strangers.
You can not itch, pick your teeth, nose, ears.
When yawning, do not open your mouth wide: it is better to cover it with your hand, the same rule applies to sneezing.

It is unacceptable to violate the rights and comfort of others, except for force majeure circumstances. Only in this case, you can leave the interlocutor and retire on an urgent matter. If the matter can wait, it is impolite to leave the interlocutor in mid-sentence. Behavior should not be defiant and expansive, especially in crowded places. If you need to contact someone, you should approach this person and calmly ask, and not shout, disturbing and annoying others.

Space in any public place should be evenly distributed among all those present. If this is a bench, you need to sit, taking one place, and not falling apart into half a bench. If this is a cramped room, do not:

spread elbows;
stretch out your arms;
make sharp turns.

In transport, bags, backpacks are removed from the shoulders and held in hand. It is good manners to provide a seat:

disabled people;
people with injuries of the musculoskeletal system;
To old people;
pregnant women;
small children;
women (the item is relevant for men).

Physical contact with another person is possible only with his approval. It is not recommended to touch strangers, touching acquaintances is possible only if there is friendly behavior within the framework of everyday rituals, such as shaking hands, patting on the shoulder, friendly hugs. When interacting with another person, think about the fact that he has his own plans, needs and desires, you should not hold someone back if it is clear that he wants to leave.

Rules for communicating with strangers and unfamiliar people

Communication with strangers and strangers has its own characteristics:

At the first meeting, look at the interlocutor, but not too often.
Smile when interacting.
It is important to use the personal pronoun "you". This shows respect and is the basis for further conversation.
Getting acquainted first, the initiative is shown by the elder to the younger, the man to the woman, the boss to the subordinate.
You can switch to “you” only at the request of the elder (boss), while the one whose hierarchy is lower can allow himself to be addressed to “you”.
The beginning and end of the dialogue is often accompanied by a gesture: a raised palm, a nod, a tilt of the head.
Shaking hands should not be very strong, but not lifeless (no more than 1-2 seconds).
When entering a room where, in addition to familiar people, there are strangers, you need to say hello to everyone, giving the strangers your name.
At the entrance, they take off their hats, before shaking hands - gloves.

If you need any help from stranger, you should say hello politely and ask if he can devote some of his time to help. After receiving an affirmative answer, you can state the request. If the request is something fleeting, such as determining the time or location, you can immediately ask a question after the greeting.

If a person is contacting you, but you don’t remember whether you know him or not, you should ask a question, starting with an apology (for example, “Excuse me, do we know each other?”).

table manners

When eating, a comfortable environment is especially important. Several basic rules must be followed. The posture should be straight:

you can not lean on those sitting nearby, even if you are sitting shoulder to shoulder;
it is unacceptable to stretch the legs, they should be bent and be in front of the front legs of the chair at a short distance.

In addition, you can not eat with your elbows apart and put them on the table. Elbows should be pressed to the ribs. It is unacceptable to stretch your arms over the table, except with the intention of placing food from some dish on your plate. At a party, it is better not to initiate a conversation at the table, it is worth leaving it to the discretion of the owners of the house.

If it's a public place, the old rule of "I'm deaf and dumb when I eat" won't make you look bad.

In no case should you talk with food in your mouth. While chewing food, try to keep the mouth closed: this ensures that there are no chomping sounds. When using cutlery, do it carefully, without creating shock, creaking, scratching sounds. It is forbidden:

knock on the table;
take food from someone else's plate;
indulge;
throw objects;
sing;
talk on a cell phone;
apply makeup.

The exception is medication prescribed with meals. A man should help a woman sitting to his right (for example, at the request to serve various dishes or pour drinks). Behavior should be moderate, calm and constructive in relation to others. Remember: nothing is as highly valued as politeness. Every person must have good manners and propriety of conduct. In international practice, immoral and ill-mannered behavior is prohibited.

You will learn more about the basic rules of etiquette and courtesy in the following video.

You can always determine the degree of culture of a person by his behavior. Nice to chat with well-mannered person but rough, vulgar speech leaves the worst impression.

What is politeness

Every person is a social being. People communicate with each other, create families, become colleagues. All members of society deserve respect. To avoid conflicts, insults, annoyance, polite treatment is accepted between the interlocutors.

Politeness is the ability to communicate tactfully, listen carefully to another point of view, show tolerance, the ability to decide conflict situations in peaceful way. Politeness and decency is the very tool by which people feel comfortable, free when communicating with their own kind.

Rules of courtesy

Since childhood, everyone knows magic words»: thank you, hello, sorry, sorry, thank you. Tact begins with politeness. This is the international norm. If such a quality as delicacy is considered innate, then good tone can be learned. Polite people know what is always necessary:

greet;
saying goodbye;
ask for forgiveness (when a mistake is made, or cause inconvenience to the interlocutor);
to be interested (that is, to show necessary minimum attention, such as asking, “How are you? »);
do not push passers-by with your elbows in order to get somewhere;
do not interrupt the interlocutor, especially if he is older in age;
do not shout to a friend who is far away.

The best indicator of a person's upbringing will be his restraint. A violent manifestation is completely unacceptable. negative emotions on people.

How to be polite

The rules of politeness are instilled in the child from childhood. Parents are always the first teachers. In the morning, children and parents say to each other: Good morning”, during the day - “good afternoon”, and in the evenings - “ Good night". Disputes at home are resolved on a verbal level. Raised parents analyze the causes of the conflict, behavioral error, explain to the child why he is wrong. The child should be given examples of how to act in a given situation. This is how little people are prepared for adult life in society.

Psychologists say: if you start moral education a child from 2-3 years old, then they are already 2-3 years late. Children take an example from the closest people. They imitate mom and dad, and it starts from the cradle.

The courtesy and attentiveness of the interlocutor are of particular value. Warmth and benevolence help a person to open up, to show his best qualities. Rudeness, ignorance, rudeness offend human dignity, cause moral harm to the individual. offended person closes in itself, stops contacting the offender. Japanese psychologists have long noticed that a polite person will always be safe, and a boor and a rude person will definitely get into trouble.

Courteous behavior helps a person acquire new useful contacts, to have many acquaintances, buddies and friends. Parents, in order to teach their child etiquette, must be patient themselves, do not put pressure on the child, do not shout. You can discuss the heroes of the books you read, analyze their behavior.

Manners secular behavior prohibit any indecency. When speaking, always be polite.

School teaches politeness

The school is called a second home. Here educational process multifaceted, gradual and continuous. The school has its own tools for instilling cultural behavior in the student. Exists whole line activities contributing to the formation polite behavior, which include:

themed class hours;
trainings;
seminars;
games.

Here it is customary to simulate situations. Schoolchildren play up the proposed plot: a queue at the store, a visit to the theater, an imaginary trip to public transport and so on. Data interactive methods contribute to the development of sociability, mutual understanding in children, teach the norms of polite behavior in an interesting, creative way.

More about courtesy

You should know that the rules of etiquette have been formed for centuries. The ground rules include a number of priorities to keep in mind, for example:

a man always greets first, opens the door, gives way to a lady;
younger ones greet first, give way to transport, help those who are older;
healthy people allow patients to see a doctor, give way to them, places in public transport;
subordinates greet the boss first;
when asking, you must say the word “please”;
for the help or service rendered, it is customary to say “thank you”, “thank you”;
if someone is brought inconvenience, grief, trouble, it is necessary to ask for forgiveness, apologize;
at an official reception, they first greet the owners, and then - by seniority;
when calling, you must introduce yourself;
punctuality is hallmark polite, cultured person.

An episode in a supermarket was described: a cashier complimented the author's daughter for saying "thank you" when he handed her one of the items. “It is rare to see good manners in customers,” the store employee said, “and the parents themselves are often the most rude.”

What used to be considered a sign good manners began to lose importance. Being in public, we increasingly withdraw into ourselves and into electronic devices, not noticing what is happening around. Therefore, elderly people and pregnant women ride standing in minibuses, neighbors do not greet each other near the elevator, men do not hold doors in front of women, children interrupt adults without hesitation. Modern man acts for itself, therefore, first of all, it carries itself into this world.

Now adults often say: “We do not teach children to say hello or say “thank you” with the help of instructions. They will grow up - they will learn for themselves, what is the use of the phrase "say the magic word"? There is some truth in this: most likely, children will really learn to say “please” and “thank you” with the help of kindergarten teachers and school teachers. But how much easier it will be for them to communicate with others if the habit of smiling when they meet, asking permission to take someone else's thing, to apologize when they hurt someone, from an early age will be the norm, and not labored words that must be pronounced, but do not want to.

It’s great when a child uses a knife and fork at dinner, knows not to talk with his mouth full, and doesn’t put his elbows on the table. But success in communicating with other people will most likely be determined not by table etiquette, but by how the child behaves on a universal human level, to what extent his manners correspond to generally accepted ones, and he himself fits into the environment.

Politeness is evidence that the child treats other people with sensitivity and respect. And here the boomerang law works: we treat another person the way he treats us. Therefore, a polite child in most cases will meet mutual good relations, and magic words going out of fashion will open different doors for him.

An apple from an apple tree: 8 useful rules of courtesy

“Thank you” and “please” cannot be memorized like a multiplication table - brought to automatism, these words will not sound from the heart. natural way to instill good manners in children - to set an example for them by their own daily reactions. Like our children look at us in a mirror. We thank the girl who gave the flyer on the street - and the next time the children will say “thank you” to the cashier who packed a box of Happy Meals for them. We ask permission to look at their drawings in the album, and children will not take their parent's phone without asking to take a picture of their craft. We apologize when we accidentally stepped on the baby's foot, and the child, inadvertently pushing a peer on playground, apologize for the awkwardness. How useful things can adults teach children?

Greet. Most parents teach kids to wave their hands and say “bye”, but the child will have to say hello no less often: with relatives, friends, neighbors, educators, sellers. Practice this useful skill with puppets and soft toys, playing "guests", "shop", "hospital". Be the first to say hello at first to provoke your child to answer you. Greet and smile at the janitor, the cashier, the doctors at the clinic, the taxi driver. Teach the boys to shake hands when you meet - for them this is a ritual of special importance.

Say "thank you". Children will be treated many times, give gifts, fulfill their requests. Remind them that it is customary to say “thank you” for a kind gesture. Thank yourself for the fact that the child brought his laundry to the laundry, helped to sort out the package of groceries, treated him with chocolate. While he is small, unable to speak, or shy of the guest who gave him balloon, each time you say “thank you” for the baby, without reproaching him for being silent.

Say "please". In modern language, this word is increasingly reduced to a textual “please”, and until it becomes archaic at all, let the first “please” come from the parents. Politely asking the child to pass the sugar bowl or bread, adults demonstrate correct form requests. When playing in the sandbox, ask another kid for an extra spatula. When buying ice cream in the park, say "please" at the beginning of a sentence. Hearing a polite form of address many times, the child will begin to use it in his vocabulary. And you, when you hear “please” from the baby, hug and kiss him, this will give him good sign that he is doing everything right.

Say sorry. To make it easier for children to pronounce this not the easiest word in the world, be generous and forgive their mistakes with a light heart. Do not be afraid to apologize yourself if you understand that you undeservedly shouted or reacted too violently to a childish misconduct. So the child will understand that the word "sorry" - important step to reconciliation and building relationships with those whom he offended, as well as medicine for those whom he inadvertently hurt.

Give in and help the weak. Give way to the check-in queue at the airport for a family with a baby, because it is more difficult for small ones to wait. Give way to a girl, mother, grandmother. Give way to elders in transport, hold the door for another person. Children may not guess what exactly needs to be done, but they love to help - whisper in their ear to help grandma carry a bag of groceries to the refrigerator, cut off the first piece of cake for her. Gratitude from another person is sure to inspire the child.

Do not discuss others in public. What parent has not been in a situation where a child, seeing a person with a different skin color or appearance for the first time, pointed a finger at him and loudly asked why his uncle was so dark color face or no hair. Agree that if the child is interested in something about passers-by, he can ask his question quietly, without attracting the attention of others. Explain that discussing the appearance of other people out loud is not accepted: it can be unpleasant for them. But always focus on how interesting it is when people look different.

Don't interrupt. One of the key points of the conversation is to let the other person finish the sentence before responding with their own line. It is important to adhere to this rule both in relation to dialogues with children, and to expect mutual respect from them when you are busy or talking with another adult. Come up with a sign by which the baby can attract your attention: touch your elbow, wave your hand, gently squeeze your palm - so that you immediately understand that he wants to tell you something, and can come up when you are free. When that moment comes, listen to the child's request with full attention.

Respect the rules of the other house. It is important to explain to the children that in every place outside your home different rules behavior. They don’t scream or run in the theater and restaurant, but on the playground or in the play maze - please. At home, you can talk in any voice you like, but in the clinic it is better to lower the tone. It is allowed to jump on the bed in your room, but you can do it at a party only if the owners themselves allowed it.

What is all this for? It's no secret that children with good manners find it easier to adapt to kindergarten and school, to follow the rules adopted in the collectives. With them it is easy to go to guests and cafes, attend social events without risk, constantly making sure that they do not spoil something and do not prevent other people from relaxing. But with a polite child, it is easier not only for others. First of all, he himself feels at ease everywhere, because he has a habit of thinking about the feelings of others and about what he says. And this habit comes from parental home, in which the main thing is not the motto “do as I say”, but the example of adults - “do as I do”.

The courtesy rules are essential attribute every educated person. Good manners must be learned from early age and steadfastly observe them under any circumstances, in any environment. Let's find out what are the rules of politeness in communication at home, at school, on a walk, in in public places.

What is courtesy for?

Politeness is a manifestation good upbringing, which directly indicates the level of a person’s culture, his wealth inner world. The rules of politeness were not created by chance: it is much easier for educated people to expand their circle of contacts and achieve their goals.

In fact, being a polite person is not so difficult. It is enough to instill good manners in yourself and not to forget to apply them everywhere and everywhere. After some time, they will become a habit, and such behavior will become the absolute norm.

Rice. 1. Even small children should know the rules of politeness.

But how does a polite person behave in society? Let's look at the most common life situations.

When meeting with a familiar person or group of people, it is imperative to say hello. You need to do this correctly: smile friendly, look the interlocutor straight in the eye, pronounce the greeting clearly, with soft, courteous intonations.

You can say hello to friends or classmates by simply saying “Hello!”. For all other people, the greeting should be more restrained - “Good afternoon (morning, evening)!”, “Hello!”, But in no case “Hey, you”, “Hello” and so on. This indicates a low culture of a person.

Rice. 2. Meeting with friends.

Seeing a friend on the street, you should not run towards him, pushing passers-by in the way. If chance meeting occurred in a cafe, cinema or theater, it is enough to nod in greeting, but not shout it out.
In public places, you should not talk or laugh too loudly, gesticulate excessively emotionally.
The rules of courtesy also provide for a mandatory farewell when leaving.
Unfamiliar or older people should be addressed to "You". And only with friends, classmates, relatives, it is appropriate to appeal to “You”.

In the everyday life of a truly polite person, there are always words that are commonly called "magic". After all, even in difficult situation they will help to find mutual understanding with the interlocutor. Such words include "Thank you", "Please", "Sorry", "Please ...".

Polite Behavior

But not only the use of polite words can make a person well-mannered. Great importance have his actions, behavior. To be known as a cultured and polite person, must be respected simple rules:

What have we learned?

When studying the topic "Rules of politeness" in the 2nd grade program of the world around us, we learned how important it is to be a polite and well-mannered person. We figured out how to behave correctly in society and avoid annoying mistakes.

Topic quiz

Report Evaluation

average rating: 4.7. Total ratings received: 69.