The whole truth about men: he just doesn't like you. How to make your voice beautiful

12.04.2019

Learning to speak beautifully in our time is really important. People often turn to me with such questions: how to influence a person with speech ?; “What to do: no one hears me, no one loves me?”; “Nobody listens to me, what should I do?”; "People don't hear me and the company doesn't notice me. How to fix the situation?" IN in general, all these questions can be reduced to one topic: how to speak beautifully in order to interest!

Intrigue with a phrase

Almost every person wants to speak in such a way as to intrigue and captivate any the audience and that people listen carefully and even with delight; I want to intrigue listeners literally from the first words - with one phrase! And this is a normal desire. Good speaking skills will help you and, most importantly, be a valuable employee.

A young man who knows how to speak beautifully and convincingly will certainly attract and will be able to negotiate with his superiors. And those who cannot show off their intellect and ability to conduct a dialogue are unlikely to succeed, even with their superiors, even with a neighbor.

What is needed for this? Partially a similar topic has already been considered in the article, because an orator, teacher, and indeed any storyteller, should become an interlocutor for the audience. Continuing the topic, we will now figure out what should NOT be allowed in a conversation so that the listeners do not lose interest in you and what, on the contrary, needs to be done in order to arouse this interest among the listeners.

P to speak correctly and beautifully means to develop speech.

INTONATION There is nothing surprising if they do not listen to a person muttering something, muttering under his breath and stammering. Have you ever paid attention to HOW you speak? How do you tell? Can your intonation be called enthusiastic, selfless, romantic, expressive, surprising, mysterious, mesmerizing, frightening, or alarming? Listen with what emotional force you are telling others. If you find it difficult to evaluate, there are several ways to do this: ask others, record on a tape recorder, listen to yourself and compare with others (interesting storytellers).
TRAINING... Learning to speak in a heartfelt, emotional, and impressive way requires exercise. How to develop speech? One of the simple and effective workouts is the repetition of the actor or speaker of his intonation. Repeat, "imitate", record on a dictaphone, listen to yourself from the outside and repeat again, record, listen .... Achieve maximum similarity with your workouts.

It would seem that in the first place should be the content of the speech, but there is something no less important, and perhaps more so that you are listened to with interest .... All the "but" lies in the fact that the audience draws conclusions about the subsequent content of your speech on the basis of your intonation, since it is it that shows your attitude to what you speak. And then the "infection" effect works, it is much faster than analysis. Bye-ah, this is still, you will finish your speech ...! And you show your attitude to your story without expressing the essence of your thoughts in words, at the very beginning of your speech: intonation, facial expressions, gestures, the rate of speech and the sound of your voice! Therefore, speak emotionless, monotonous, in a hurry and illegible DO NOT.Listening will not be unambiguous.

How to learn to speak beautifully.

SPEECH TECHNIQUE

WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? Of course, we will not consider all the exercises from the speech technique within the framework of this article. However, thanks to it, you will know better what to look for in the literature and the Internet. For example, you need to type phrases and search for books on speech technique and rhetoric, as well as public speaking. Here we are looking at just some of the exercises, tips and common mistakes that prevent a person from speaking beautifully.

Exercises: Learn to speak with the correct intonation and with emotion. First, you need to include a dialogue or monologue from a movie or program. After listening to a short episode, repeat it intonationally. Don't say the words. Only "La-La-La, na-na-na or tam-tam-taram." In general, say what you want, it doesn't matter. It is important to speak with the same intonation as the artist you are repeating.

Pay close attention to pauses, breathing, voice timbre, logical stress, voice volume (raising and lowering) and the speed of the artist's speech. You will soon realize that people have certain reactions to a certain intonation, regardless of what the speaker says. This is especially important when you are making a request to someone. Half of the success depends on HOW you do it.

How to make your voice beautiful.

TRAINING VOICE SOUND

The case in which you speak is very important. You may have noticed how unpleasant or, conversely, pleasant, some people's voices are. In most cases, this is not some kind of a given from birth. How your voice will sound can be influenced. For example, n you do not need to speak in the upper voice register. The sound from this is squeaky, squeezed or nasal. The closer to your nose you place the sound output, the more unpleasant your voice will sound. About voice registers and sound formation, you need to find additional information in literature and the Internet. Try to keep the sound at chest or diaphragm level. The lower the register, the more powerful your speech. Of lower case it is impossible to speak in leaps and bounds, quickly, indistinctly, squeaky, nasal. In addition, to speak from lower case, you need to type enough air and pause. Therefore, the voice will sound velvety, weighty and convincing.

To get used to saying this, practice every day in front of a mirror, slowly reciting poetry or long sentences (aphorisms, sayings). Place your palm on your chest or diaphragm and try to create sound under your palm as you dictate. In the process of training, you will notice that you will have more time to form a thought, your speech will sound more convincing and there will be no excitement.

Record on the recorder what you said before training and how after ... Let's summarize this point:

How to intrigue the interlocutor. How to speak to be heard

One often hears this question: how to intrigue a person in a dialogue? Ask yourself how you usually start talking. What words do you start with? At what point are you entering? Do you pause sentences?

Once upon a time, I noticed an interesting pattern. Paradoxical. When it was important for me to ask, ask, convince, people practically did not listen to me and quickly refused. "Here, I think -" people do not hear me and do not want to listen, what to do? " And when I just spoke, reasoning something with myself, stopping half a word and becoming silent, then they would ask me what I wanted to say. Even the bosses were not lazy to rush out of the office and ask about a casually thrown phrase.

“They are just annoying with their questions. I have already forgotten why I blurted out, I already switched attention to another, and they all want from me, what did I want to say ?! This, in general, does not matter! ”- I thought.

“Well, when you come, you strain, you try to achieve something, they get rid of you. And when I didn't want to say anything particularly valuable and important - on you! - "take it out, but put it down." That is - "state your desires, and we will listen with interest." And then it dawned on me. That's the trick! People love understatement, mystery and secrecy. Information that is important to you, valuable advice or help, it turns out, can be easily obtained! You just need to blur out any phrase and shut up.

How to intrigue any audience.

INTRIGUE IN ONE PHASE

It is quite possible to quickly interest the audience, literally from one phrase. Start with anything at all: "There was such a thing ...", "I don't know at all ...", "what to do ...", "oh, how is that ...", "well, wow!". After this one (any of them) phrase, shut up and do not say anything. Be patient! You don't need to say anything else. Or (if you see that you have not heard) add: "ah, okay, what's there." And that's it! Don't say anything else. Keep going about your business. Think of it as a game or exercise in which you can continue the conversation only if you are asked about what you wanted to say. If you are in the company of several people, and they ask what you wanted to say to the wrong people, then answer: “No, only such and such can know” (a little louder so that he can hear), and after that stubbornly keep silent again. If “such and such” turned out to be a tough nut to crack and does not react, then say: “Well, nothing, I’ll ask Smirnov (name someone absent). These pauses and mysteries should be enough to spark interest in any object. And it doesn't matter who your interlocutors are: friends, colleagues, students, colleagues. An intriguing pause is always followed by the anticipation of the audience. They want to know what should be next. Of course, there are special cases (intelligence, workload and experience are different for people), but these are very rare instances. In this (special) case, write about your situation here on the page. We will definitely help. So at this point we found out that:

DON'T and WRONG:

Start a conversation with pressure, indignation, resentment, claims, etc.
It is long and boring to tell a person about your problems, testing his patience.
To say, without thinking in advance, exactly what you want.
Addressing a person, thinking that it is he and no one else who should solve your problem (because of this, an unpleasant intonation appears, characterized by boring, indignation, obsession and other negative shades). There are always other people, sources, areas of activity, structures and authorities that you can contact or look for information.

NECESSARY and CORRECT

Begin to speak unobtrusively (as if by the way), briefly, mysteriously, from afar (unsaid remark, the beginning of a question, or it is not clear to whom the question is " well, why does it happen, how to understand it, solve it? "," well, and the task (affairs) "," Ah, I had it "... and so on.P). Any of these remarks will raise a question from the audience if you shut up after it.
Learn to stop and pause thoughtfully after the first phrase!
Write these phrases down and add your own. I'll give you a few more: "Imagine!", "Into the business!", "This is the number!", "Did you know what?", "Maybe I'll say something stupid" (add about yourself "maybe I won't, ha-ha") , "It turns out somehow interesting ...", "Didn't you notice?" ...

How beautiful to talk, learn to speak beautifully and convincingly

Has it ever happened to you that someone else tells the same thing that you just tried to tell? Or, even, he tells more meaningless things than you wanted to tell, but at the same time they listen to him with great interest, but you are not? It was so?

You probably thought: “That's it, I'm not interesting. In the company they don't notice me and they will never notice me! " Then pay attention to what your phrases revolve around. " I not interesting", " Medo not notice ”- only personal pronouns! Focus exclusively on yourself! It turns out that instead of interestingly presenting the story, you thought about: to please, not to get lost; so as not to be ridiculed, not criticized; did not think what; did not interfere with finishing; did not run away on their own business and so on ... Have you noticed how many of these "NOT"? What does it mean? This means that you have an attitude of avoiding failure, not achieving success. What is the right thing to think about when you tell others something?

SHOULD think about: - how interesting it is to convey the features of the object you are talking about: emotions, gait, gestures, appearance (if they are people), shapes and volumes, etc. (if these are things); did the listeners understand you. Observe their reactions: facial expressions, gestures, interjections, remarks. Clarify to make it clearer for them. React to questions, exclamations, facial expressions and so on with an increase or vice versa by lowering your voice, facial expressions, gestures or repeating thoughts on your part. Give feedback and you will be a very interesting conversationalist.

Other Important Points in a Good Speech and Storyteller

Several Yet useful tipsso that you never say again: “No one listens to me, no one loves me, no one respects me, no one understands, no one hears me.

NEVER ATTEMPT TO SHOUT YOUR INTERVIEWER, BETTER, ON THE VERSA, START SPEAKING SIGNIFICANTLY, MUCH LOW, OR SAY ONE OF THE UNFINISHED PHRASES.
LEARN TO ASK QUESTIONS
END THE PHRASE WITH THE NOTE BELOW (adds authority). This also requires training. The note above can only be completed interrogative sentences - such intonation conveys doubts.
INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR OFFERS WITH ADDITIONS AND ADDITIONS.
LEARN BY RIGHT A FEW INTERESTING APHORISMS AND PHRASES OF THE TYPE: "Not every newborn girl grows up to be a giddy girl, becomes dizzy, lives to the point of fading and acquires the wisdom of a smiling grandmother."
USE OPEN GESTURES (this builds confidence).

A man may say, "I have a terrible blockage at work; I recently experienced a breakup. serious relationshipswhich was a big blow for me; the divorce of my parents left an indelible mark on my soul and brought a bunch of new troubles; now I need to focus on my career; I cannot start a relationship until everything in my life is working out; as soon as my situation improves, I will leave my wife, girlfriend, lousy job; I'm terribly busy. "It's easier for us to jump out of the window than to say:" You don't suit me. "We are one hundred percent sure that in this case, you will kill us or yourself, or both of us, or, even worse, start crying and Even if we don't talk about it, we are clearly showing you our attitude. Stop making excuses for us, our actions speak for themselves: you just don't like you.

1. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE HE DOESN'T INVITE YOU ON A DATE.

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will definitely make an appointment for you.

Excuse Option: He may not want to ruin our friendship

I hate to tell you about this, but this excuse does not hold up to scrutiny. Unfortunately, throughout the history of mankind, this excuse has never been used by those who really meant it. If we really care about a woman, we cannot bring ourselves to stop - we want more. And please don't tell me he's just "afraid." The only thing he fears - and I affirm this, feeling for you sincere sympathy- is to admit that you are not attracted to him at all.

Excuse option: Probably hesitates to take the first step

You can hint to a man that you have sympathy for him, but you should not help him ask you out on a date. Again, dear ladies: the fact that you smile and playfully wink at him will be enough.

Excuse Option: Maybe he doesn't want to rush things.

If a man really likes you, but there are deeply personal reasons why he does not want to rush things, he will immediately tell you about it. He will not leave you in the dark, as he needs confidence that you will not be disappointed and will not disappear from his life.

Excuse like "But he gave me his phone number."

Don't let him use cheap tricks to get you to ask him out on a date. If you are interested in a man, he will take all the trouble on himself. It sounds a little old-fashioned, but when a man likes a woman, he asks her out on a date.

Excuse like "Maybe he forgot about me."

Be sure you made an impression on him. Now leave it as it is. If he likes you, he will remember you even after the tsunami, flood or the defeat of the Russian national team in the next match. If he forgot about you, do not waste time on him. Do you know why? Because you are great.

Any excuse, in fact, means that you are of little interest to him. Men are not afraid to "destroy friendships."
Don't fall for his tricks and don't ask him out on a date. If he likes you, he will invite you himself.
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
“Hey, let's meet at a party like this / in some bar / at a friend’s house” is not a date invitation. Even if you live in New York.
The man remembers well if he liked you when he met, so hang up.
You are good enough to be asked out on a date.

2. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T CALL YOU

Men know how to use the telephone.

Excuse like "But he's on the road so often."

Take note: the man who is interested in you wants to spend time with you. And he'll be content with five phone calls only if he can't make it to the plane to rush to you.

Excuse like "But his head is busy with completely different things."

Most important question here it sounds like: "Is it ok if a man forgot to call me?" I say no. Unless he needs to rush someone to the hospital or someone has stolen his Ferrari. He should never forget that he promised to call you. If I really like you, I will never forget about you. Aren't you expecting a guy who would rather forget about everything that happened in his life than forget about you?

Justification like "He is not saying what he really thinks."

That's the whole problem: at the end of the date, or telephone conversation many men tell you what they think you would like to hear. They think it's better than nothing. So if the guy you are dating doesn't call you despite all his promises, is it worth it to dwell on him? After all, you need a man who can at least keep his word.

Excuse like "But he's very busy."

And now I'm going to make an outrageous, harsh and categorical statement regarding the relationship between a man and a woman: the word "busy" is complete nonsense, it is usually used by donkeys. The word "busy" in one gulp can destroy any relationship. Extreme "busyness" may seem like a compelling excuse, but in reality, this concept always hides a man who was not interested in calling you. Remember, men always have time to get what they want.

One hundred percent of the polled representatives of the stronger sex said: they will always find a moment to call a woman who they really like.

If he doesn't call you, then he doesn't think about you.
If he makes promises and then lets you down on little things, rest assured that the same will happen when it comes to bigger things. Keep that in mind, and keep in mind that this guy won't have a hard time disappointing you.
You should not build a relationship with someone who is not able to keep his word.
If he does not want to make the slightest effort to calm you down and smooth out the emerging conflicts in your relationship, then he simply does not respect your feelings and needs.
Busy is the same as donkey. And the "donkey" is the same as the guy you are dating.
You deserve to be fucking called.

3. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOES NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MEETING

Spending time together doesn't mean dating.

Excuses like "He just went through a painful breakup."

He may be one of your closest friends, but as a man, he is not that infatuated with you. Beware of the word friend. It is often used by men or women who are in love with these men to justify their most swinish behavior. When choosing friends, I prefer people who don't upset me.

Excuse like "But we're really dating."

Men, like women, strive to find a sense of security and safety when they see a relationship getting serious. One of the common ways to do this is to claim your rights over your loved one. A man who is truly passionate about you will want you to belong to him completely. What's wrong with that, girls?

"This is better than nothing" excuse.

Let me remind you: you need a man who wants you, calls you regularly and makes you feel the sexiest and most a desirable woman in the world. He longs to see you more and more often, because each time his feeling grows stronger, growing from sympathy into true love. A relationship in which you meet with a man once every two weeks or once a month, without feeling either love or sympathy on his part, can last a day, or a week, or a month. But can they last a lifetime?

One hundred percent of men surveyed said that fear of a serious relationship never stopped them from starting new romance... One young man even remarked: "The fear of serious relationships is one of the myths. big city"And the other guy said," This is what we say to girls that we don't really like very much. "

Men talk about their feelings, even if you refuse to listen or do not believe their confessions. "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" means "I'm not ready for a serious relationship with you" or "I'm not sure that you are the woman that I need." (I am sorry.)
"Better than nothing" shouldn't suit you.
If you do not understand what is happening in your relationship, then there is nothing wrong with slowing down and asking him a couple of questions.
Does it smell like uncertainty? Don't expect good things.
There is one guy in the world who wants to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Stop fooling around, go find him.

4. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO SEX WITH YOU

If a man likes a woman, he always wants to touch her.

Dear ladies, you have already met and will meet a great many men. I hate to tell you about this, but some of these men will simply decide that you are not their type. And none of those men who don't like you will ever tell you about it. And he will say that ... he is afraid, worried, languishing with fatigue, experiencing pain from a broken leg, suffering from a cold, afraid (again). But the truth, simple, cruel and bitter, is clear as daylight: you do not attract him, and he does not want to hurt you.

Excuse like "He's afraid he'll get hurt again."

Is he afraid? Yes, he is afraid of offending you. This is why he did not clarify the situation with your relationship in any way. Perhaps he is even trying to make himself feel at least something for you, talking about his love and that he does not want to lose you, but he could just as well sign in your diary. He loves you as a friend. If he loved you as a woman, he would not be able to control himself and would have a whirlwind romance with you, despite all the fears and unpleasant memories.

Justification like "I'm driving him so crazy that he doesn't show any interest."

Of course, many people have suffered in the past, and now they are afraid of serious relationships. But you know what? If a man really likes you, nothing will stop him from reaching you, even the fear of a serious relationship. If he really big problems about this, he can go for stupid treatment, but he will never keep you in the dark.

"But this is so great" excuse.

It used to be that a woman refuses to have sex when she wants to gain power over a man. It seems that the representatives of the stronger sex have also learned to use it. If a guy, lying on the couch with you, happily devours cookies and watches a movie (and at the same time is not gay), then you simply do not attract him.

Justification like "He finds a bunch of explanations for everything."

You can take his excuses if you like, but first ask yourself a couple of questions. Are you satisfied with this relationship? The most important thing here is whether you want to feel that way, perhaps for the rest of your life? Sex is also one of the greatest pleasures a person can experience. Therefore, it is at least strange when the person with whom you are dating prevents you from getting this pleasure.

People are constantly talking about who they really are. If a man tells you that monogamy is not for him, then there is no reason not to believe him.
Communication is great. But if communication is combined with sex, it's even better. Call a spade a spade, or rather, call a friend a friend. And find yourself a friend who can't resist touching you.
If you have low self-esteem, then you will have to spend more time increasing it than looking for a new boyfriend. Therefore, prioritize according to your needs.
If you are seduced by the thought of a thousand and one nights spent in the arms (and only) of some man, then get yourself a puppy.
Hot little thing, somewhere there is a man who really wants to make love to you.

5. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

There is no truly compelling excuse for cheating.

Whatever problems darken your relationship, they don't give him the right to make love to another woman. Don't ask what you are to blame. Don't take the blame on yourself. And if he tells you that it happened by accident, then remember: cheating is never accidental. This is not an accident like "I stumbled, and I was sucked in by a swamp named Treason." He planned and brought it to life, fully aware that it could end your relationship. Remember: if he sleeps with another woman without your permission and approval, then he behaves not just like a man who is not so much attracted to you, but like a man who is not interested in you at all.

Justification like "He has no excuse, and he knows about it."

Cheating is bad. And the inability to explain why you cheated on a person is even worse. If one red flag isn't enough for you, how about two? Don't date men who don't know why they did this or that thing.

"But I got fat" excuse.

I'm pretty sure you need to shed 90 kilos in the form of your worthless boyfriend, not the twenty kilos he talks about. He cheated on you and called you fat. How much humiliation can a person endure? If something in your relationship does not suit him, then he should talk about it with you, instead of looking for consolation in the vagina of a stranger. Also, think about how he will react if you get pregnant, get old, or get a few wrinkles? Or if you dye your hair a color he doesn't like? Get rid of this loser immediately, or I myself will come to your house and throw him out of there.

Excuses like "He needs more sex than me."

There is no excuse that he is cheating on you. Dot. There are many ways to solve this rather common problem, which arises from the difference in sexual appetites... As a rule, people start by talking frankly about this topic, and everyone agrees to do everything in their power to make their partner happy. In this case, it is not at all necessary to jump into bed with someone else!

Excuse like "But at least he knew her."

I explain in other words: it doesn't matter if he loves you or not. He made it clear to you what his relationship to your romance is. He went on about his feelings and arranged everything in such a way as to be alone with another woman, kiss her, take off her clothes and do everything else that usually happens when two adults have sex. Can you continue to love him after this?

One hundred percent of the men surveyed reported that they had never made love to a woman by pure chance. (But many of them wanted to know how such an accident occurs and what needs to be done to take advantage of it.)

There is no excuse for treason. Let me repeat: there is no excuse for cheating. Now tell it yourself: there is no excuse for cheating.
The only thing for which you are responsible for the moral fall of another person is your own feelings.
Treason is treason. At the same time, it does not matter with whom he cheated on you and how many times it happened.
It becomes easier to change each time. It is difficult only the first time when you feel remorse and guilt for not justifying the trust of another person.
Cheaters are never happy. (Because they are all scoundrels.)
The unfaithful man first of all cheats on himself, since he cannot build normal relationship with you.

6. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE WANTS TO SEE YOU ONLY WHEN HE'S DRINK

If he likes you, he will be eager to see you when his brain is not clouded by alcohol fumes. If your clown wears a red nose every time it comes to intimacy, then this suggests that there are serious problems in your relationship.

Excuse like "But I like it when he's drunk."

If, sitting in a bar, he is drunk and says something like: "Baby, you are so beautiful!" and at the same time hugs you a little tighter than it should be, then it's high time to learn something: you can't believe everything that a man says when he is drunk. And listen to the ex-bad guy: "bad guys" are called bad because they have a lot of trouble, no feeling dignity, besides, they absolutely do not believe in sincere love relationship, but very often they dress up and drive cool cars. Do you really need this one?

Excuse like "At least he doesn't drink the strongest drinks."

Don't be fooled. A guy who does not fall off his feet and does not pee in his pants from drunkenness should not get away with the fact that he quietly turns off his brains to others, more in an easy way every time you are together. It's still intoxication, it's still a desire to avoid responsibility, and it's still not too good for you.

His words mean nothing if he uttered them while intoxicated. "I love you" or the like, said under the influence of any drink stronger than grape juice, has no effect in court and in real life.
Drinking alcohol and drugs is not the path to the innermost feelings of a person. Otherwise, people would not have smashed empty beer bottles on their heads and tried to touch the flame of the fire to find out if they felt something or not.
If he wants to see you, communicate with you, have sex with you only when he is tipsy, this is not love, this is sport.
Bad guys not in vain are called bad.
You deserve a man who doesn't need to pump up to spend time with you.

7. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU

Love heals commitment mania.

Each of your ex-menwho has told you that he does not want to get married, or does not believe in marriage, or has doubts about marriage, will certainly tie himself with sacred ties someday. Not with you. Because he is not talking about not wanting to get married at all. He talks about not wanting to marry you.

Justification like "It's very complicated now."

If you focus on the state of your finances when choosing the time for your wedding, this favorable period will never come. If your boyfriend uses lack of money as an excuse not to marry you, then your relationship is in danger, not his bank account.

Excuse like "But he's all like himself."

If you have to sit and think about how to start a conversation about marriage with a person with whom you have had a close relationship for quite a long time, then this alarm signal... Call him immediately on straight Talk and sort things out. Then, as soon as you are ready, go in search of a person whose entire thoughts will be occupied with how you feel.

A dilemma like "Is this really an excuse not to get married?"

Marriage is a tradition that we inherited from previous generations, which is why marriage has so many opponents. Let it be so: if a man is categorically against marriage, and you are in favor with both hands, then please make sure that behind his unwillingness to marry lies only a dislike for the very institution of marriage, and not any other feelings or their absence.

Excuse like "I'm just not ready yet."

I hate to tell you about this, but he does not want to rush for just one reason: he is still not sure that you are the one.

Excuse like "He's seen enough other failed marriages."

For worthy man meeting a woman with whom he wants to share his life always becomes a real event. And, probably, if he realizes that this is exactly the woman, he will not immediately inform her that the mere thought of registering their relationship disgusts him.

One hundred percent of the men surveyed admitted that they would no doubt offer a hand and a heart to a woman if they were completely sure that it was she who was the love of their life. One representative of the stronger sex said: "How is it necessary to be an idiot not to marry the woman you love?"

"Doesn't want to marry" and "Doesn't want to marry me" are two different things. Make sure that you have correctly identified which category your chosen one belongs to.
If you have opposing views of marriage, there are likely to be other issues that will lead to disagreements. It's time to make a problem list.
If nothing changes in your relationship, then what are you waiting for?
Somewhere on earth there is a man who wants to marry you.

8. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE DROPPED YOU

"I don't want to be with you" still means just that.

"He needs me" excuse.

Do not be satisfied that he is bored without you. He should be bored. You are so unique. And yet he was and remains the person who left you. Remember, there is only one reason he may be bored remembering you: he thinks he doesn't want to spend the day with you.

Excuses like "After this decision is much easier."

If he meets you, calls you out, dumps you and continues to sleep with you, which, in fact, relieves him of any responsibility for your feelings for him. There is one thing a young man will never do if he cannot imagine his life without you: he will never leave you. The only way for you to know if you love yourself is to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Excuse like "But everyone does it."

Stop holding on to his cock, get dressed and quickly head home to your best friend... And don't look for an excuse to stay with him. And do not think that all this crazy passion will inevitably lead to the fact that you will be together again. Oh yeah, having sex after breaking up is not bad at all, because it's great to sleep with someone you know. It's also great to sleep with the person you feel for. strong feelings... This combination is what makes sex after a breakup so bright. But now you know that because of this, real confusion arises in your head and you start to feel terrible. Face it: you are a woman, and women do not know how to separate love and sex. And don't make such mistakes again. Got it? He doesn't like you that much. He likes much more very much bad ideawhich disguises itself as a very good idea, namely - sex after separation. Like this.

Excuse like "But then he wants to come back."

Unfortunately, after you break up, your boyfriend starts looking for something better. And when he does not succeed, he is seized by loneliness and he returns "home". He doesn't seem to like you very much. He just really doesn't like being alone.

Excuse like "I refuse to accept the fact that he left me."

I'm sorry he left you. Trying to get him back over and over again, you lead your ex-boyfriend to the thought, "What did I even find in this nutty bitch?" Remember one simple tip, ladies: Always be on top. Never go crazy. Well, okay, in fact, this is not even one, but two whole tips. But trust me, you will never regret listening to them. At least it will save you from unpleasant memories about how you cut his clothes into pieces or threw out all the photos with him.

You can't prevent a breakup by talking. Discussions won't help here. The severance of relations is a final decision, and it is not subject to appeal.
Having sex after a breakup doesn't mean you're back together.
Stop communicating with him. Let him miss you.
You don't need to remind him how great you are.
He himself can take care of his cat.
"Elegant woman"will never torment his answering machine.
Somewhere a young man is waiting for you who will be just happy that you have not gotten back to your terribly nasty ex-boyfriend.

9. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE JUST TAKEN AND DISAPPEARED

Sometimes I have to put a point myself.

Well, everything is very clear here. He made you understand that you are so not his type that he did not even bother to leave you at least some news about himself. The only thing you have to get out of this love story, is the fact that he decided to leave you. And he didn't have the courage to tell you about it, looking into your eyes. Case is closed.

"Maybe he died" excuse.

There is nothing worse than not getting an answer from your loved one. But the trouble is that the lack of an answer is the answer for you. He may not have written farewell letter, but his silence speaks more clearly: "I don't like you." The only reason, according to which you should write to him again, is the desire to receive an explicit refusal, now in verbal form. Have you forgotten? You are too busy with your fans and you don't have time for such nonsense.

An excuse like "So, it turns out, I can't even quarrel with him for the last time?"

At first, it may seem that it will make you feel better if you call him and make a scandal. You may feel like you've let it dry out of the water. But believe me, nothing you want to tell him will be a revelation to him. And you already have something to spend your time on.

Excuse like "But I just want an answer."

Do you deserve to find out what really happened? Undoubtedly. I can tell you what happened: you met a terrible person. The easiest way to correct this mistake is to draw certain conclusions for yourself, live on and continue to be more choosy in choosing a partner. Do it all quickly, without wasting a minute of your precious time.

One hundred percent of the surveyed males who "disappeared" from the woman's field of vision, said that they were fully aware that they had done something terrible, and no phone calls and belated conversations would not have made them change their minds.

He may actually be in the hospital suffering from amnesia, but chances are, he's just not all that infatuated with you.
The lack of an answer is his answer to you.
Don't give him the opportunity to reject you again.
Let his mother give him scandals. And you are too busy for that.
There is no mystery here: he just left your life, and he was not worthy of you.

10. HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE IS MARRIED (this also includes all the others, the most incredible reasons, because of which he cannot be with you)

If you cannot love each other freely and openly, then this is not true love. No matter how strong and sincere your feelings for another person are, if he cannot answer them honestly and fully, that is mutual love, these feelings mean nothing.

Excuse like "But his wife is such a bitch!"

No matter how unhappy his marriage was and no matter how terrible his wife treated him, things were definitely not so bad, otherwise he would have left her long ago. A sincere love relationship doesn't deserve to be hidden. Find yourself a man who won't hide his feelings.

Excuse like "But he's such a good person."

Please do not try to ignore this fact. He is married to another woman. I know you are not like everyone else, and in your case everything is different, but the fact remains: he is married. If in your entire life you are ready to stop at a red light only once, then this is exactly the case. It's just that the stakes are too high for everyone who plays this game.

"I just have to wait" excuse.

If on a certain stage the development of relations comes a speech about how to "wait for him" - this is an alarming signal. It is not a stock in which you are going to invest money. He is a man whose heart must be open enough to be ready to meet you and fall madly in love with you. If someone really likes you, they will quickly solve all their problems and make a lot of efforts not to lose you.

He is married.
If it does not belong to you wholly and completely, then it belongs to her.
There are a lot of cool and gentle single men in the world. Try to meet one of them.
If a man yells and vomits curses at ex-wife or mourning a previous girlfriend, go to a movie with someone else.
He is married.
No need to join the ranks of those very women.
You are not so easy to forget. Let him find you when he is ready for a new relationship.

11. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU SO MUCH IF HE BEHIND HIMSELF LIKE A LOVE SELFISH, A BRAGGER OR JUST LIKE A BIG STUPID

If he really loves you, he will do his best to make you happy.

Excuse like "But he really wants to get better."

Loving people try to treat each other well and even enjoy showing their loved ones tenderness and care. If your partner is very bad at it, then you end up reaping the same benefits as in the situation called "He doesn't like you that much."

Excuse like "But he was just raised like that."

It doesn't have to be that he's crazy about your CD collection. He doesn't have to like all of your shoes. But any full-fledged and prudent man is simply obliged to make an effort on himself and love your friends and your family, especially if they are all such wonderful people.

Justification like "But he will change."

Hot temper is not a temporary problem. People who yell at others simply do not know how to control themselves and need psychiatric help. People who yell at others think they have a right to do so. Hey pretty girl, do you really want to start a family like this?

Justification like "After all, what matters is what happens between us alone."

Why be with a person who needs to humiliate you in order to feel their own superiority? Especially in front of friends! Why should you pay attention to the fact that he treats you better when you are alone? After all, he is just waiting for how to bring you into people in order to humiliate you. Throw it! Go to college and write a diploma on the topic: "How to find a man who is not ashamed to show your friends."

Excuse like "But he's just trying to help."

It is not only such behavior when a man beats a woman is called offensive. It is also possible and should be considered offensive behavior when a man shouts at a woman, publicly humiliates her or reminds her that she is too fat, thereby making her feel unattractive. It's very hard to believe what you deserve true lovewhen someone is struggling to convince you that you are not worth anything at all in this life. But, as I see, all the admonitions to part with him still do not work for you. So to begin with, just realize that you are too good for this kind of relationship.

Justification like "He just hasn't found himself yet."

Excuse like "Maybe this is one of his little oddities!"

You will surely meet men who do not like hugging, kissing, or having sex. You will spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to deal with it and if you are the cause of this behavior. Or you will simply come to the conclusion that these people do not like doing what you think is essential. a fulfilling life, and go in search of someone who shares your views.

The joke sounds, for example, like this: "Hey, Bjork called, she wants to take back her dress." And the insult - like this: "God, well, you are corroded!" But the most important thing is to understand what you need. All of you definitely deserve better treatment!

One hundred percent of the men surveyed said they never tried to humiliate or upset a woman they really liked. And this is the most important thing.

You shouldn't complicate an already difficult life by sharing it with a person who gives you a lot of trouble.
You deserve such a man who will behave with you as befits in any situation. (Remember to treat him well, too.)
There is no reason to yell at another person unless they are in mortal danger.
Assholes belong in the circus, not in your apartment.
You already have one ass, why do you need another?
By getting rid of useless people, you will have a lot of free time that you can spend on what gives you pleasure.
Believe in yourself. How could it be otherwise?

13. SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Then you ask: "What if there is no next novel at all?" And we will answer: "Send these terrible thoughts on a long voyage on a ship that will certainly sink, because it is destined to crash on the reefs of the Isle of Sorrow. And we do not want you to be on this ship."

YOUR NEW REQUIREMENTS:

I will not date someone who does not ask me out on his own.
I will not meet with a person who makes me wait for hours for his call.
I will not date a person who is not sure if he wants to date me.
I will not date someone who makes me feel sexually unattractive.
I will not date someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, so it makes me uncomfortable.
I will not date a person who is afraid to make plans for the future with me.
Under no circumstances will I waste time with a person who has already rejected me once.
I will not date married man.
I will not date a man if he is not really a kind, sincere and gentle person.

Now it's your turn. Only you know what other requirements you want to present to your future chosen one. Write them all down. And don't forget about them.

Friend

This should mean: "I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you."

Busy

This should mean the following: "Today was my inauguration as President of the United States."
In some cases, it means: "I just don't like you that much."

Bad guy

That should mean, "The guy to stay away from."
In some cases, it means, "The guy to stay away from."

I'm not ready

It should mean, "I can't find my pants."
In some cases, it means: "I just don't like you that much."

Call me

This should mean: "I accidentally dropped my cell phone off the cliff into the ocean."
In some cases, it means: I just don't like you that much.

I don't like your family

This should mean the following: I do not want to meet with your mother.
In some cases, it means: "I just don't like you that much."

I'm afraid of intimacy

This should mean: "I am really very afraid of intimacy."
In some cases, it means: "I just don't like you that much."

And you will be happy!

The post is based on the book by Greg Berendt, Liz Tuchillo "He Just Doesn't Like You. The Whole Truth About Men."

Good communication is the key to success, whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or trying to get the message across to a friend. If you want to learn how to speak well and confidently, you need to believe in yourself, speak slowly, and be confident in what you are saying. If you would like to know how you can give the impression of an intelligent and thinking man, then check out the first step first.

Steps

Part 1

Speak confidently

Before you speak, you need to know if you really believe in what you are talking about. You don't have to sound arrogant to get your point across and give the impression that you believe what you are saying; instead, reach out to people for approval or approval.

If you start a sentence with "I think that ..." or "However, maybe ...", then no statement after these words will be as strong as just spoken without them.

Make eye contact with your listeners. On the one hand, this is a manifestation of politeness. On the other hand, it will help others to listen more focused. Finding a few friendly faces and focusing on them will give you even more confidence, which will help you convey the message more clearly. If you constantly look at the floor, you will not look confident, and if you look around as you speak, people will think that you are discouraged or are looking for a more acceptable activity.
- When talking to someone, look them in the eye - you can look away for a while, but in general, focus on the people you are talking to.
- If you find someone is anxious or confused, perhaps think about whether you are communicating your thoughts clearly enough. However, don't let the confused person knock you off your head.
- If the audience is large and you really struggle to make eye contact, focus on just a few listeners.
Praise yourself every day. This will build your confidence, which is important when speaking. Then people will take you more seriously. You don't have to think of yourself as ideal or amazing person... Remind yourself of everyone big thingsthat you've done or worked so hard on. Look in the mirror and say at least three things about yourself, or a list of those good things that make you who you are.
- If you don't know what to praise yourself for, then you need to work on maintaining your confidence. Build your self-esteem by focusing on what you do, ignoring flaws, and spending time with people who genuinely care and inspire confidence in you.
Use the short phrase method. There is a chance that you will have to speak in front of an audience, as if playing part of the role. While it can be intimidating, the advantage of being able to speak well outweighs all fears. To become a more successful public speaker, remember following rules (specially formulated briefly for easy memorization):
- Plan well.
- Practice.
- Interact with your audience.
- Pay attention to your body language.
- Think and speak positively.
- Do not be nervous.
- Review the recordings of your speeches. This will help you get better every time.
Explore the hall. Arrive early at your speaking area, walk around the audience, try speaking into a microphone, and use visual cues... Knowing what you are going to face and feeling where you will be standing, the gaze of the audience, and trying how you will move while speaking will definitely help calm your nerves. It's much better to know what's in store for you than to be faced with the surprise - and blow to your confidence - on a crucial day.
- If you really want to familiarize yourself with the premises, then you can come the day before the performance and find out.
Visualize success. Visualize how you are delivering a speech. Imagine, as you speak, your voice is loud, clear and confident. Visualizing a cheering audience will build your confidence. Close your eyes and imagine the most confident and eloquent version of yourself in front of the audience, how you amaze them with your words. Or, if you're worried about speaking to a smaller group, imagine the excitement of what you said to a small group of friends.
- Therefore, when the time comes for this great moment, remember what you imagined - how can you achieve this?
Know your audience. Knowing the audience will benefit good service in gaining confidence. If the audience is large enough, then it is important to know where people come from, how old they are and what their general knowledge of the subject is. This will help you prepare your words accordingly. If you are reaching out to a dozen people, knowing things such as their political beliefs and their sense of humor can help in finding correct words (and avoiding the wrong ones).
- People do not like the unknown, this can be one of the reasons why they are nervous; therefore, you must collect as much information as possible.
Body language must be confident. Body movements can give the impression that you are confident. If you want your body language to look confident, here's what you need to do:
- Have a nice posture
- Avoid slouching
- Do not touch your hands
- Don't walk too much
- Look in front of you, not at the floor
- Relax your face and body
Know your topic. Pick topics that interest you personally. Know more about her than you are going to talk about when you speak. The more you know about her, the more confident you will be during your speech. If you were preparing just the night before your performance and are afraid that you will be asked a question that you do not know the answer to, then your confidence will not be up to par. Knowing 5 times more than you are going to tell the audience will help you be well prepared for the day of responsibility.
- If you are going to give some time to answer questions, you can practice with a friend in advance; let him ask you the most difficult questions of those that may be.
Part 2
Speak well
1. Speak loudly so everyone can hear you. If you do not want to shout out, then you need to speak loudly enough so that the audience does not ask again. If you speak softly or softly, people will think that you are shy and not sure what you are talking about - you do not need this.
  - If you speak softly, not only will you not be heard, but it also sounds like submissiveness, which implies insecurity.
  - On the other hand, you don't want to speak too loudly, as if you are trying to convince people to listen. The words themselves should draw attention to them.
2. Expand vocabulary. Read as much as possible, from online magazines to serious works such as Anna Karenina. The more you read, the larger your vocabulary will be. You will learn new words and their use without even knowing it, and you will soon be using them in speech. A wide vocabulary is the basis of your desire to speak beautifully.
  - This does not mean that you need to insert fifty into your speech or every speech. compound words... But a few key buzzwords will make the presentation more intelligent and not seem like intentional.
  - Write vocabulary in a notebook. Write down all the new words that come across to you while reading, with their explanation.
3. Don't use too much jargon. If you want to sound good, then you shouldn't use slang words or vernacular expressions. Of course, if young people are listening to you, you should not overuse formal expressions, but you should not sound vulgar.
  - Of course, if you are talking to friends, the slang will fit in well. But if your audience is more mature and you want to speak beautifully, then avoid it.
4. Don't be afraid to use pauses. Some people think that pause is a sign of weakness, but it is not. It's good to take a break to gather your thoughts together and think about what to say next. It will be much worse to speak very quickly, which will feel like mumbling, or that you are in a frenzy and regret what you said. Using slowdown and thoughtful speech will make pauses feel more natural.
  - If you use verbal pauses (like "uh" or "aa") during your speech, don't worry too much about that. it natural way to collect thoughts, and even President Obama uses them quite often. If you think you have too many of them, you can try to say them more quietly, but don't feel like avoiding them completely.
5. Use gestures only when necessary. Gesturing during speech helps convey a thought and emphasize what has been said. However, do not overuse them, or you might think that your words alone are not convincing enough. Therefore, keep your hands on your sides and use them when it helps to capture the essence of what is being said.
6. Be concise. One more condition beautiful speech it is knowing what not to say. You may think that you need to give ten examples to prove the point, but in reality it is better to pick one or two of the most striking ones that will help you understand and the audience will not be too overwhelmed with evidence. If you are giving a speech, then every word should make sense; if you are just talking with friends, then in this case it is better to avoid incoherence of speech.
  - If you are giving a speech, write it and say it out loud. Reading your own words will help you determine where the excess repetition is and what is best to remove.
7. Review the main points. Perhaps you think that it is enough to repeat the main points of the speech only once, and the listeners will immediately understand in which words the essence is expressed. In this you are wrong. If there are several important things you want to convey - whether you are addressing a crowd or proving something to a friend - repeating the key points, perhaps at the end of a line or speech, will help to convey what you want to say more clearly.
  - Consider writing a statement. You have to repeat the key points at the end of each paragraph and at the end, right? In general, speech is not much different in this.
8. Use specific examplesso that listeners understand. Clear examples are the foundation of any speech or conversation. Whether you want to convince your audience to use renewable energy or convince your girlfriend to ditch her loser boyfriend, you'll have to provide some hard, hard facts to get attention. Use the statistics, anecdotes, or incidents that best capture the essence. Remember, this doesn't mean bombarding the audience with facts - there are a few cases that the audience will remember better.
  - Tell a few stories. If you're giving a speech, a story at the beginning or end will help convey the message in a more human form.
Part 3
Take your speech to another level
1. Create a sense of routine. Start by reaching out to your audience. This will give you time and calm you down. Pause, smile, and count to three before you say anything. (“Twenty one is one, twenty one is two, twenty one is three.” Pause. Begin). Turn nervousness into enthusiasm. A way can be found to help you. Perhaps it will be drinking water from a glass every five minutes. Once you find your way, use it to the fullest.
  - You can take the practice of communicating with a friend. Find something that calms you down when you are speaking, perhaps squeezing a foam ball in your jacket pocket or smiling.
2. Do not pay attention to your own nervousness and concentrate on the essence of speech and the audience. The main thing is to convey the essence, and not to look like Steve Jobs. If you focus less on yourself, you will feel more like the delivery of the message, and this will relieve tension. Before you speak, remind yourself how important the message is and why it is important to you. This will distract you from worrying about whether you are talking too fast or whether you are sweating a lot.
- Practice is truly the path to excellence. If you have to give a speech, rehearsal will help you sound clear and confident on a crucial day.
- What you are wearing plays an important role. It is necessary to choose clothes in accordance with the theme of your speech. After all, if you look deeply, you can understand that your appearance is reflected in the effectiveness of the performance.
Warnings
- When complementing your speech with your thoughts, remember to listen to others! Otherwise, others may perceive you as a self-centered person, and you will lose the advantage of knowing their opinions.
- Remember that between confidence and arrogance there is significant difference... Don't try to portray exaggerated confidence, or it might be interpreted as arrogance and overconfidence. There is nothing worse than being confronted with the belief that your opinion is much better than the opinion of others.