A woman in a men's team: behavior strategy. A woman in a men's team: what you need to know. Combining work and personal life

To many women work among men seems to be a real gift of fate. It seems to them that gallant men are just waiting for the opportunity to give up their place to the fair sex (including the chair of the head of the department, for example), and are even ready to arrange a duel for the right to help her with routine work. In fact, everything is not entirely true, so we will try to dispel some illusions for your own sake.

A woman's appearance will ensure her success.

The first illusion. V men's team the woman is always under close scrutiny. fashionable dresses, exquisite decorations, stylish makeup and expensive perfume will provide her with universal admiration and rapid promotion.

You are trying in vain: the male brotherhood is so passionate about work that it is unlikely that they will pay attention to what you smell like: “ Chanel No. 5" or " Red Moscow". Well, they do not notice the little things - this is the peculiarity of their, male, psychology. "Drowning" in details is a woman's "privilege".

By the way, psychologists noticed: being constantly in the spotlight, the woman is very worried about their appearance - and gets stressed. As for clothes, all sorts of blouses with ruffles, dresses, not to mention mini-skirts, have an irritating effect on the “subcortex” of colleagues of the opposite sex. If all the men are in suits, and the lady is in a dress with a neckline, then she will look like a stranger at their "celebration of life". Although getting an invitation for a cup of coffee can ...

Survival method. Try changing your wardrobe so that your outfit is sure to include some individual elements men's clothing ... Optional pants, let it be a jacket, vest or neckerchief imitating a tie.

Men always back up a woman in a men's team

The second illusion. Real men know that a woman is a weak creature. Therefore, they insure the ladies in every possible way on "sharp turns", give their hand in time and protect them from the furious attacks of the chief.

In fact, as soon as you crossed the threshold of the "male flowerbed", you died as a weak creature to your new colleagues. No one will write off your mistakes, wipe away your tears, no one will take into account that you have migraines, etc. They can answer rudely and make an incorrect remark. And the point is not at all that men are tactless and stubborn, but simply the following rules of the game in a men's team: tough fight where there are winners and losers, and an obligatory prize - money or career growth.

Therefore, a woman in a men's team is not a weak link, but equal player... And what will happen to the lady who found herself on the "battlefield" and did not take this rule into account? She is losing.

Survival method. Become a team player by proving your professional skills. If you are chatting on Skype at your workplace or playing "happy farm", and next day fill up the annual report, men will not forgive you. So prove yourself a first-class specialist, prove to everyone that you are an expert in your field. And then the respect of men for your person is guaranteed.

Flirting in a men's team is very promising

Illusion three. As soon as a woman flirts, everyone will immediately rush to look after her, and someone, perhaps (what the hell is not kidding?), Will offer a hand and a heart.

Look for a spouse in the workplace- the case is almost hopeless. Representatives of the male brotherhood, which have run wild without women, are as difficult to "twist and tamp" as it is to monks from a male monastery. The answer to this phenomenon is simple: in the service of men as people aimed at success, first of all, they care about how useful you will be at work, and only then (from 13.00 to 14.00 or after 18.00) your other qualities. If a young lady can only shoot with her eyes, then she will be given the title “ Miss ... chicken brains", And then they will be dismissed altogether: they say, you are just an unnecessary detail ...

Survival method. Refuse at work from coquetry, flirting. You should not flirt with the boss either - you will automatically become an enemy in the team. So much has been written about office romances that I don't even want to exaggerate this topic. If the situation is heating up, then most often a woman is fired.

In a men's team, a woman should behave like a man

Illusion four. It is better for a lady who has found herself in a men's team to immediately forget that she is a woman. A tough woman-boy is the only correct role that will allow you to compete with these insidious men.

You, of course, can adopt their style of behavior, "pump up" muscles, have a short haircut and even learn to speak in a bass, nevertheless, you will not become "your own" among men. It's just that they are somewhere on subconscious level feel: a tough aggressive style for a woman is alien, unnatural.

Survival method. Use charm... In addition to the ability to work in a team, a woman should not forget about her own, about the feminine ... Nature has awarded us one quality that will allow us to put any harmful individual of the male collective on our shoulder blades. We women know how to release some kind of fluid, similar to the ultrasound given by butterflies. This "substance" is called charm. None of the men can see him, but none of them is able to resist him.

In case of resentment, you need to cry

Psychologists have noticed: women are very touchy and vindictive... The men fought, said nasty things to each other, made up and, shaking hands, dispersed. Ladies, on the other hand, can remember the sharp words of colleagues for years and mentally take revenge on them (and often in reality). This not only harms their emotional health, but it can also ruin their careers at times.

Survival method. In the men's team, to offend with a word - normal phenomenon... And a woman is expected to do the same as a man - after reconciliation, forget and forgive everything. Anyway, unwritten rule the life of the male collective is: showed emotions - lost... Therefore, you cannot get angry. It is enough to answer in a calm tone, but with menacing notes - this always has a sobering effect on the stronger sex.

Become a universal mother in a male team

Illusion six. Men are creatures absolutely not adapted to life. Therefore, once in a men's team, a woman needs to become them ... a mother.

Survival method. In no case don't take on the role of mommy, which will feed both pies and listen to difficult moment, and runs off for mineral water if someone has a hangover. Remember, work and family are completely different things. Mother, wife and sister are waiting for each of your colleagues at home. So they will feed him with pies. Let everything stay in its place: pies at home, and business at work. Your maternal instinct can serve as an annoying factor for the majority, and your colleagues will either try to get rid of it, or, conversely, just sit on your neck, and you will be their “housewife” in the workplace. And you have enough of such troubles at home.

Men love a woman's guidelines

Illusion 7. Since men are people of business, they will only be grateful for the valuable guidance that a competent lady distributes right and left. A woman seeks to advise, direct, save inept men from mistakes. This is how the same maternal instinct is realized in her. But for some reason the men get angry in response. Black ingratitude? No, it's just that your behavior seems to indicate their incompetence. Hence the sharp rejection.

Survival method. You should not openly point out to a man his mistakes. and mistakes, especially in the presence of other employees - you are unlikely to achieve respect for yourself. If you notice an incorrectly completed document or a poorly drawn up plan, wait until you are alone with a colleague and politely offer to make corrections.

It's always difficult among men

Illusion eighth (last). It's hard to get accustomed to a male team. These beeches and bully at every step are trying to pin up and make it clear that a woman is a second-class creature.

Of course, being the only woman in a team is hard. But it's also nice - just imagine how many gifts and tokens you will receive on March 8th! The rest of the time, of course, it will be difficult, but do not give up: you and I know that women can do anything.

By the way, according to the forecasts of futurologists, in man's world XXI century the "woman-chameleon" will survive who knows how to quickly switch: depending on the situation, she will be able to play the role of either a fighting friend, or wise woman and be ready, when necessary, to turn into "it". Your sixth sense will tell you which role to "choose" in which case.

It is no secret that women today have equal rights with men. Female representatives can be found in a taxi, driving a car. She can answer the phone by calling computer support. Do not be surprised if a woman also pays a fine for incorrect parking. But perfectly mastering the male craft offline, and doing it in the company of the men themselves, are two different things. Therefore, the question "How a woman to behave in a men's team" has high level relevance.

Really! Won't the representatives of the stronger sex be glad that a girl will appear in their purely male company? Will she not receive attention, empathy and help? The answer is no!

A woman on a ship, like a woman in an office, is a phenomenon that men, to put it mildly, do not like. And it doesn't matter that after work, each of them will be happy to give a hand, bring a coat, etc. But tomorrow this gentleman will look askance and go berserk at the slightest mistake of his new colleague.

For the male component, work is a space where patriarchal rhythm prevails. This is a kind of game in which only strong players win. And, as you know, the strong become such by defeating the weak. Needless to say, what kind of player will a woman seem in the eyes of her male colleagues, only after crossing the threshold of the office? How to work for a girl in a men's team?

Major mistakes

Getting to a new job, whose walls are overflowing with representatives of the stronger sex, a woman subconsciously understands the level of threat. Wrong self-presentation can doom her to problems, lack of a bonus and career growth... And also ridicule and rumors.

Working for a woman in a men's team will not seem sweet only at first. The main thing to remember is that the choice of a model of behavior in the early days is decisive.

Typical mistakes:

• Loon in a skirt... You should not resort to a demonstration of a rude character, and try to be "your own" with the help of a typical male method... It will bring nothing but jokes and whispers.
• Cinderella... You shouldn't try to please new colleagues. A man loves order at home. At work, the mess does not bother him at all. And attempts to eliminate it can be interpreted as an attack. There is no need for dusting, treating with buns, etc.
• No tenderness! The real test for the fairer sex is new job... A woman in a men's team on the first day feels like a native of Uzbekistan in the sector football fans... But this is not a reason to beg for compassion, referring to your essence. For men, the one who shares one office with them is an equal participant in the epic whose name is career. No requests for help! Neither in relation to colleagues, nor to bosses!
• Flirting - spitting in the well... Undoubtedly, the main weapon of any girl is coquetry. How to work in a male team for a woman? Forget about flirting at all! No relationship with colleagues. At work, all employees are employees. Any affair (even if it takes place for the sake of a career) does not bode well. Especially when it comes to bosses. The slightest flirtation with the boss promises to expose the woman as an "office mat", which her colleagues will certainly characterize her.
• Be careful with the choice of topics in conversation... The women's team is a whole group psychological assistance where you can turn your soul inside out, as well as learn latest news from the life of other employees. And that's okay. A male colleague may be good conversationalist, but only if the topics are "male". You should not try to get into his soul, learn about the details of his family life etc.
• Constant servility... You should not build a good reputation by offering your professional services. If own work done efficiently - it is worthy of respect. Doing it is also effective for someone else - on the contrary. Everyone who is not lazy will try to dump part of their affairs on a helpful colleague.
• No emotion... The situation at work can also take on a conflicting nature. Emotions should not be allowed. All conversations should take place in calm rhythm, and be constructive.
• Less clever... Availability high intelligence- this is a good indicator, but only if it is shown rarely and to the point. Otherwise, the male team (or part of it) may see such a woman as a rival.
• Keep distance... With regard to their own initiative, it has already been said. It's another matter if a woman becomes an object. male attention... It can be as one individual or several. How can a woman work in a men's team if someone is flirting with her? It's simple - you have to resist. Moreover, do it the same way with everyone. If you refuse one, but pay attention to the other, then this will become a pretext for rumors and various kinds of "podvyazi".
• Appearance... The office is a place to work, not to display fashionable clothes. This must be remembered every time the wardrobe is opened in the morning. You should wear extremely strict things, as they will emphasize the high level of professionalism and intentions of his mistress. The presence of short skirts and bright cosmetics will only serve to generate new rumors and flirting from colleagues.

Finally

Not worth giving great importance such a phenomenon as a woman in a men's team. Relationship psychology is an extremely simple field, and right choice behaviors guarantee quick adaptation at work. As can be noted from the above, everything is simple - you need to be a good specialist and do your job well. Don't confuse the personal with the professional. And, even more so, do not behave with colleagues the way it is done in the company of girlfriends.

You must be able to defend your position, give worthy arguments. Learn to control emotions, and in no case give them a way out.

The site "Beautiful and Successful" has already talked about the problems. After all, when women get bored with gossip, squabbles and discussion of recipes during a break, it seems that if only men were colleagues, then there would definitely not be any problems in communication and work!

To some extent this is so - working with men is often more interesting and effective! But there is a specificity, and today we will try to warn you about everything that a woman in a men's team should know!

What a woman in a men's team should not be surprised at

One of my acquaintances, having graduated from law school, got a job in the police - the department for combating economic crimes.

On the first working day, they took her workplace in the study, where, besides her, two serious young men already lived. Colleagues greeted restrainedly and sat down at work laptops. Two hours passed in solemn silence - my friend was simply afraid to talk about something insignificant, tearing her colleagues away from concentrated mental work and earning a reputation as a frivolous talker on the very first day! Until one of the new colleagues uttered: "PANCAKE, DOESN'T bite !!!". It turned out that both "valuable employees" all this time were fighting in "virtual fishing" !!!

Hence the conclusion: men in a working environment are idle about the same as women, it can simply manifest itself in a fundamentally different way!

Of course, they will look at your catalogs of cosmetics and clothes without enthusiasm, but not because they consider you a disastrous bum, but simply they are not interested in it.

Yet again, characteristic feature male relationship to work - the man works "for the result", and the woman - "for the process." That is, if there is a task that requires 4 hours of time and an 8-hour working day, a man will rather do what is needed, and devote the second half of the day to blatant idleness - going to the smoking room, the same online toys, etc.

And the woman will leaf through the magazine under the table, spreading it out on the table more papers- in the end, her whole day is busy with visibility active work, and reading the log and writing the report will take place in parallel!

Something else women should know about men's groups:

• Guys use obscene language. For the first couple of weeks in your presence, they will restrain themselves, but then they will relax, and their speech will return to their usual format. But by then it will no longer shock you!
• There is always at least one "smart guy" who sincerely does not believe that a woman can be a good specialist. And he won't believe him, even though you nuclear reactor use a wrench and a screwdriver to build!
• Men don't gossip fewer women... Only they will have other reasons for gossip.

How to win the respect of your colleagues

It is difficult for a woman in a men's team. At first (especially if there was no feminine spirit here before you), most of the new colleagues will think: “Oh, baba! Well, well, let's see, we'll see how you can work here among us, the "great and wise"! "

• Work well. If in personal life some gentlemen may prefer "blondes", then in a work environment a "brunette" will deserve respect - she is smart and does not hide her business and professional skills (I'm not talking about literal hair color!).
• Don't play in public. In a women's team (and in front of a female boss), sometimes sycophancy, “friendship against someone,” and other intrigues will take off. Men do not appreciate this - it is better to just work well, and with you will understand in time the whole "undercover alignment" and decide whether it is worth interfering with it.
• Don't be a prude. If your comrades decide to tell an anecdote "with peppercorns" in your presence, then it is better not to be shy and laugh with everyone, and not to bore the peasants with morals on the topic "fu, what disgusting, I'm a decent girl, and you are all rude boors." There is no threat to your maiden honor in this - but colleagues will be able to trust you as "their friend"!

Male team and personal life

For office romance- seemingly just a paradise: one woman in the men's team! In reality, it turns out that two-thirds of the colleagues are married, and those who are single are either fat, or pimply, or dull as a cork.

But even if you are lucky and your colleagues are like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis, then think hard about what you want more - or work efficiently. Because for a woman in a men's team, one thing, as a rule, excludes the other. It is difficult for a man to perceive a sweet, flirtatious woman as good specialist, even if he personally does not have any specific views on her!

Obvious advantages for a woman working in a male team

• You will acquire a bunch of different useful knowledge and skills. If you don't ignore the communication with your colleagues, you will soon be able to determine by the sound of the turned on engine that the engine is junk, you will be able to reinstall the pirate Windows and fly from Paris to Singapore in a flight simulator without a single disaster!
• There will always be a reason to look good. Even if all male colleagues are married up to their ears, and the unmarried go with pimples like this and do not inspire any sympathy, it is still nice to catch admired men's views... And being lazy to look good will no longer work - this is not at all when you can say around your aunt: "Damn, with this eternal washing of dishes, no manicure will hold up!"
• You will learn a lot about male psychology... In the end, you will learn to be friends with men (otherwise, in our time, there are young ladies who either make eyes at men, or shy away from them as fast as they can!).

In any case, the experience of working in a men's team will not hurt any woman!

You've all heard about who transsexuals are. Often born men feel women in male body ... In some of them, during the examination, a genetic defect is actually found, and some turn out to be completely healthy. But in both the first and second cases, they reject their masculine nature and try to prove to the whole world that nature was mistaken and in fact they are women.

As a rule, this manifests itself from the very early age when cars and toy pistols do not interest them at all. They gravitate towards dolls, dresses, games with girls as mothers and daughters. Then, when they get older, they dress like a woman, do makeup, epilate. And if there is money, they do a sex reassignment operation. But what is it really? Is it a nature error or a mental problem?

Woman in a man's body- this is neither the one nor the other. It's just that the soul does not accept its life scenario, which it chose before birth. After all, before being born, the soul chooses its gender, family, and living conditions - everything that will ensure its working off and passing exactly those lessons that she did not learn in past life... Accepting a masculine nature is one of the tasks of such a person. But being born in his body as a boy, the soul begins to resist such a development of events and rejects the masculine nature. Rejection changes and hormonal background, and energy, and the fate of a person.

Everything must be in balance. It has long been known that both a woman and a man have both female and male energy. Yin and Yang. And if in life a woman rejects her male part, then, as a result, she will begin to reject all the men who surround her. Thus, she goes against God, because everything created by him is perfect. This attitude towards male sex she accumulates negative karma, which will have to work out in next life in the male body. We are always given what we do not accept in order to realize our mistakes, to stop condemning and rejecting. But if the soul, born in the next life in a masculine body, continues to resist and deny its masculine nature, calling itself a woman in a male body, then by doing so she earns herself even heavier karma, since with life lesson she failed.

If you condemn transsexuals, they disgust you, and non-acceptance means you need to look deeper and understand what compels them to become that way. Realize that they could not cope with the tasks that their soul set for itself in this incarnation. And in the future they will face more than one life with the lesson of acceptance male nature... The only thing we have to do is looking at a woman in a male body, sympathize and wish this soul strength to go through their life lessons.

If women more often evaluate colleagues by personal qualities, and only then take their level into account, then for men the opposite is true. A person who is a specialist will always be appreciated and respected, even if he does not manifest himself as the soul of the team. Therefore, a woman, working with male colleagues, should show the same high professional quality, like the rest, so that she has something to respect, as an employee, otherwise she will find herself in a difficult situation.

At the same time, psychologists note that when a male team is present attractive woman, labor productivity rises by about 15%, as it tones up the rest. The same psychologists argue that women and men cope with tasks in different ways. Ladies tend to show more consistency, they are persistent, attentive to little things. Men act more logically and clearer, more focused on the result.

In the case, there is always a "weapon": they can smile charmingly, admit they are wrong, thus avoiding side effects... But this option is not always possible. If colleagues of the stronger sex see in you only a stern specialist, then it is better to save smiles and charm for other occasions, otherwise you risk losing your place. This is a problem for many women. They expect attention from the male team, sometimes not entirely professional. The best way Is to try to build with colleagues companionship, at the same time, do not forget that you are a woman, and not a business car, then your colleagues will treat you more politely and gently.

Often women face male prejudice. Despite the fact that in modern world similar situations becomes less and less, ladies are sometimes underestimated in professional level... If you are faced with such an attitude, do not ask for trouble. Just calmly and efficiently do your job, on occasion, express ideas and take the initiative. Don't worry, they will know that you are a valuable specialist.

Forget this part of life women's team like complaints about life, weather or whatever. Men support unspoken rule that only weaklings complain. Also embrace the principle of team loyalty. Do not show emotionality, even if you are prone to it.

Others important issue is an appearance... There is simple rule: neckline or short, but not all together. Otherwise, you paint to earn a not too flattering reputation. Do not try to dress as brightly as possible, focus on the classics, but you can afford accessories: a hairpin, a scarf.

And finally - very important rule for a woman in a men's team. No romance at work. It almost always ends badly, and not only for you, but also for your male colleague.