Learning to love your appearance: practical advice. List of dislikes. To love means to care for needs

31.03.2019

What do you see when you look in the mirror? If you are like most women, then most likely you are not seeing what is reflected in it. Your brain processes what you see and you look at your reflection very critically. What you see in the mirror is a collection of past and present experiences, compliments and insults that are hard to forget.

If thin is in fashion, tall girls with straight lines silky hair, then you will seem to yourself too small, too fat, too curly ... Of course, models in glossy magazines remain an unattainable ideal for many. And many ladies are desperate that no one will love you for such an ordinary, imperfect woman, because your appearance does not meet the beauty standards of VOGUE magazine.

For a woman's self-esteem, appearance plays huge role. Our self-confidence, first of all, depends on how we evaluate our external data. Girls and women are, in most cases, much less satisfied with their appearance and weight, unlike men. Moreover, the idea of ladies about what kind of women men like is also quite erroneous, which is often the result of

Women believe what they hear

Formations negative assessment his appearance is rooted in childhood. Our society pays too much attention to appearance. Wherever the girls revolve, the ideals of beauty are constantly falling on them - magazines, television, the Internet and social networks. Little girls, who in childhood were known as “ugly ducklings”, were far from the “standards” of beauty, often heard about it from their peers and even adults - in fact, they experienced their own kind of childhood psychological trauma.

That is why it is extremely important to watch what you say to your children, including regarding their appearance. This is especially true for girls. But even if your childhood was accompanied by a lack of compliments, pointing out your shortcomings and physical features, now you are able to correct your attitude towards own appearance. How to accept your appearance and why is it so important to accept your appearance? Let's talk about this in more detail.

How to love your appearance?

1. Transform negative attitude into the positive. For example, if you have small chest, instead of saying that your breasts are terrible, say: "My breasts perfectly match the proportions of my body, it's beautiful." Speak this affirmation every day. If you repeat something over and over, it becomes part of your beliefs.

2. Emphasize the positive in yourself. Every lady has something that she really likes about herself - hair, eyes, legs. Emphasize your strengths, other people will also begin to notice exactly your strengths, without focusing on small flaws.

Improve your appearance within reason. If you really understand that you are overweight, then working on yourself will help get rid of not only complexes, but also put your health in order. In addition, sports and discipline in nutrition will give you positive energy from day to day. But don't overdo it. Women who are overly critical of themselves can often bring themselves to serious illnesses, such as anorexia or bulimia. Therefore, be careful with the desire for the "ideal".

3. Take it easy on yourself. We are ready to consider our shortcomings under a magnifying glass. Why do we think that others pay a lot of attention to what we do not like about ourselves. This is not true. Most people are focused solely on themselves. And if, suddenly, someone focused their attention on your “long nose” and spoke unflatteringly about it, then this only speaks of your opponent’s self-doubt. Since people most often look for flaws in others, because they are very sensitive to their own shortcomings.

4. Change your priorities. What is really valuable and important to you? Your appearance or what you are, how kind and beautiful are you in your soul? No matter how trite it may sound, but your content has much greater value than your shell. Favorite business, hobby, creativity, family and you in it - an excellent hostess and mother - all this can help you not to spend so much time thinking about your “imperfect appearance”. Of course, the environment will always impose a standard " perfect woman”, but it will be much easier for you to calmly respond to this pressure and pay your time and attention to what is really valuable and important in your life.

5. Erase your "records". You are not your crooked legs wide hips and a long nose. Of course, childhood and unflattering, insensitive statements about your appearance leave a residue, we become programmed to dislike our appearance. You need to rewind the tape and erase the hurtful messages from the past. When you in Once again it begins to seem that others are paying attention to your, as it seems to you, “flaw”, immediately remind yourself that this is not true, that all this is in the past, that no one cares about your invented shortcomings.

6. Remember that beauty is very multifaceted..

Imperfect "Carrie Bradshaw", Gisele Bundchen with a very big nose, Letizia Casta with a height of 165 cm - these are a few examples of women who, despite the standards of beauty, have won the hearts of millions and are considered one of the most beautiful and charming women peace.

Remember that we are all different, and perhaps for someone it is YOU who are the most beautiful woman on our planet! 🙂

Tatiana Kulinich

Psychologists call our time the age of perfectionism, which slowly penetrates into all areas of our lives. But most of all it concerns appearance. Almost all of us periodically compare ourselves with beauties and handsome men from fashion magazines and TV programs, and we begin to worry about this. Many women are terribly afraid that a partner will see them without makeup, they are afraid to make love not in pitch darkness out of shame about your body. Is this familiar to you? Can't look in the mirror without a judgmental look? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Our techniques will help you start loving yourself and your body.

Accepting our own otherness

The first thing that a person who suffers from complexes because of his own appearance needs to learn is that there is no single type of attractiveness. The main lie of the beauty industry is that it seeks to fit all people to a single standard, and this is basically impossible. People have different genetics different structure body, metabolism, etc. To follow a single standard means to voluntarily deprive yourself of the beautiful diversity of the world around you. Imagine if you had to eat only one dish for the rest of your life. Or wear the same color. The world would bore you very quickly.

In this regard, I would like to recall a quote by Jungian psychologist Clarissa-Pinkola Estes: “The ability to receive great joy in a world where there are many varieties of beauty is the happiness for which all women are created. To be a fan of a single kind of beauty is to be inattentive to nature. There cannot be a single species of songbird, a single species of pine, a single species of wolf. There can't be a single kind of child, a single kind of man, a single kind of woman. There can't be a single chest, a single waist, a single skin."

The second thing you have to realize is how much the concept of beauty is subjective, that is, it depends on many factors and changes in different eras. would call modern fashion critics beautiful women looking at us from the canvases of medieval artists? Unlikely. Even such an icon of beauty as Marilyn Monroe now seems to many to be full and rustic. Not to mention what she did plastic surgery and dyed her hair. In the 20th century, fashion changed even more rapidly than before. Every decade, one type of appearance became fashionable, and women rushed to match it, often crippling their natural beauty wherein. Is there any point in chasing this illusion? Isn't it easier to discover the beauty in yourself and cherish it?

Self-Esteem Techniques

In this part of our article, we will talk about what exactly can be done to stop chasing fashion standards.

Technique "Game of associations"

Our subjective perception shapes the world around us. People can relate to the same thing in completely different ways, depending on their attitudes. For example, someone can not stand semolina because it reminds him of unpleasant experiences in kindergarten. And someone at the sight of her remembers the warm grandmother's house. Our perception directly depends on these associations.

So, take a piece of paper and describe what associations come to your mind when you think about own body and appearance. For example, a woman who does not fit into modern standards of beauty can write about her body like this: fat, big, awkward, disgusting, loose, etc. Now try to pick up other associations filled with acceptance and admiration. For example: appetizing, fertile, reliable, safe, maternal, warm. It may not be easy at first, but over time, such associations will surely come to you. Remember the words of the heroine from the film “Moscow does not believe in tears: “Here I am, rude, right? And they call it eccentricity. That's where I stand."

Before we get into the techniques, it's important to note that love for your body goes hand in hand with a straight posture and a smile. Watch your back, do exercises to straighten it, remove the frown mask from your face, smile more often. Gait is another important component of loving your appearance. If you watch your posture, gait and facial expression, relax your muscles and, at a minimum, do not regularly engage in self-criticism, you will soon notice fantastic changes in your attitude towards your appearance! And, mind you, those around you will also begin to shower you with compliments. And by adding technology, you will flourish at all!

Technique "Mirror of Love"

This technique can be done both with a small mirror where only the face is visible, and with a mirror in full height. So, take a close look at your own reflection. Consider those parts of the body or face that you dislike the most. Ask for forgiveness from them for not accepting them, considering them ridiculous and ugly. And then tell them how much you love them, how willing you are to try to accept and admire yourself. Feel free to touch your reflection in the mirror. Kiss, stroke yourself in it. And don't be afraid that it might not be normal. It is not normal to not love and reject your body given to us by nature! Learn to talk to your body. Smile at him, thank him for what you have - so dear, healthy, beautiful. Give him compliments. You need to do this technique every morning and every evening for several weeks - at least two months. It has been proven that a skill is acquired by a person if they are practiced every day for at least two months. Then a new quality is built into you and becomes part of you.

Technique "I am a star!"

As you know, man is a social being. It is easier for us to decide on something if we see how others do it, we all need role models. To perform this technique, you will need to find the stars, famous people who look like you. You can do this with special programs on the Internet that analyze the similarity of faces.

Choose for yourself three stars similar to you that you like the most. Think about how your face and body are similar to them. Find photos of them with and without makeup to realize that their attractiveness is not so much a god-given gift, but the ability to take care of themselves. Study their biographies, find inspirational quotes for yourself. You can hang their photos with quotes on a mirror or refrigerator. This should help you believe in yourself.

Technique "Dream Photoshoot"

Our complexes about appearance are often exacerbated by unsuccessful photographs. There we have an unfortunate facial expression, here we have a bulky figure, and so on. Many despair because of this, thinking that in fact they look like that. But photography is an art! In order to take good pictures that really look like you, you need high-quality equipment and the right angle.

Set aside money and time to have a photo session with a good photographer. Choose your own outfit, a place for a photo shoot. You can use the services professional makeup artist, because it is thanks to them that the stars look so stunning in their photographs. Choose your photographer responsibly. You should like not only his work, but also the way he presents himself, his very personality. After all, the final result depends on whether you can relax with him and trust his professionalism. High-quality pictures will certainly change your attitude towards yourself! The main thing is not to hide them in an album, but buy beautiful frames and put it on the table or hang it on the wall.

Body Love Day Technique

How do we deal with the people we truly love? We surround them with care and attention. How often do you take care of your body and appearance? Very often, people who consider themselves ugly completely stop caring about themselves. After all, why try if I'm already ugly, and nothing will change this? The result is vicious circle: a person hates his body, does not take care of it, it starts to look even worse, and he hates himself even more.

But here, as in many other things, appetite comes with eating. The more we take care of our body, the more valuable and beautiful it feels. At first, you will have to take care of yourself through “I don’t want to”, but over time you will certainly get a taste for it.

So, one day a week, devote yourself entirely to self-care. It can be a sauna, a bath, a swimming pool. It will be great if you sign up for a spa. But the rituals of love for your body can be carried out at home. Get yourself a face and hair mask. Buy a nice-smelling oil and do a light massage of the whole body. Order or make your own natural cream. Buy rose petals, take a candlelit bath with them, drip into them essential oils, pour sea salt make yourself a scrub. Buy yourself nice clothes. Find a good massage therapist and massage every week. Do what you can from this list and come up with something of your own. Do not spare yourself money and time, and soon you will certainly notice how much your attitude to your appearance will change.

Technique "Message of Love"

For this practice, you will need a beautiful box or box, a pen and paper. Cut the paper into small rectangles about 5 by 4 centimeters. There should be at least 30 of them. After that, write on them one compliment that you would like to hear from others. It is important that these compliments are not just general phrases, but exactly those words that could please you. After that, carefully fold them and throw them into the box.

Every morning you will need to draw out one compliment and throughout the day think about it as often as possible, concentrate on what it emphasized in you. For example, today it fell out to you: “You just have a charming smile!”. Throughout the day, you need to smile as often as possible, and also get a good feel for your facial expressions in the mouth area. Perhaps you have a habit of wrinkling your lips from tension, but you didn’t know about it. Or bite them, etc. All day we pay attention to our lips. compliment next day it turns out: "You have such an easy, beautiful approach." So, today we need to pay attention to how we walk. Is there stiffness, stoop, weakness in the legs? We focus on the feeling of strength and flexibility while walking.

In this article, we have listed the most effective techniques to help you get in touch with your body. Remember, you are a beautiful child of the Universe, you simply cannot be ugly, the main thing is to discover your unique, only your beauty within yourself!

Tatyana Kulinich for https://junona.pro

V modern world impossible to give precise definition beauty. From year to year, stereotypes and tastes change dramatically. Many people for the sake of fashion change their appearance beyond recognition. Initially, it seems to them that their natural beauty is terrible and does not correspond to modern times. The problem lies in the imposition of a common opinion on others. A person simply forgets about personal preferences.

The technique was invented by famous psychologists who encourage their patients to look in the mirror more often. You can perform manipulations by looking only at the face or the whole body.
So, stand in front of a mirror. Start looking into your own "I". Look in yourself only for those areas that cause negativity. Ask your body or face for forgiveness for the fact that you can’t accept your appearance with these “flaws”.
Now share the other side of the coin. Say that you love yourself and will be proud of the body in the future. Touch your own mirror image, as if stroking your body.
You can even kiss your other self if it helps set you on a positive wavelength. Do not consider such behavior immoral. It is not normal that you are trying to reject your body, which nature has so painstakingly built.
Learn to speak with the second "I". Smile at the mirror, tell stories, give compliments. Carry out simple manipulations for 3-4 weeks twice a day.

Step #2. Book a photo session

At modern people complexes due to appearance appear for many reasons. One of them is considered to be comparing yourself with people from Instagram or VKontakte. Media personalities set the tone in the image, ranging from inflated buttocks and lips, ending with tattooed eyebrows and hair extensions.
As a result lovely ladies get depressed because they don't look like the same type of "dolls". To evaluate yourself from the outside, order professional photo session. With the help of his technique and skill, the photographer will be able to emphasize your “flaws”.
You will look at yourself from the other side, admiringly proclaiming: “I am beautiful!”. Choose your own outfit to match the weather, study Beautiful places cities for the event. Do your hair and make-up, pick up paraphernalia.
Pay special attention to the photographer, he must be a master of his craft and an open person. It is important that in the presence of a professional you feel relaxed: you can freely pose, laugh at the top of your voice.
After taking your pictures, print them out and frame them on the wall. Admire yourself every day, periodically ordering more and more new photo shoots. Do not think that a wall hung with your pictures will look selfish.

Step #3. Treat yourself

Many people who consider themselves ugly stop caring about their appearance. Why invest so much effort, because nothing can be returned, so you think. This results in a vicious circle: a person does not take care of himself, developing even greater complexes at the sight of a reflection in the mirror.
It is important to understand that the more you look after yourself, the more you fall in love with your appearance. Set aside 1-2 days a week to work on your hair, manicure, wardrobe, and other little things.
Take a hot bath with essential oils and foam, tidy up your nails and hair. Go shopping with your friends, buy beautiful Underwear and high heels.
Rethink your wardrobe. Throw in the trash things that don't fit well. If there are problems with overweight or cellulite, sign up for sports section or in gym.
Allocate hard-earned funds for visiting the spa complex, swimming pool, thermal sources. Make a face mask, exfoliate the body and epilate.
Make it a habit to go for a massage once every 7-10 days. Regular exposure of body parts will make you feel more confident and relaxed. Over time, you will change your mind about yourself.

Step number 4. Feel like a star

Not always people act boldly in a given situation. Some need a push, an incentive to conquer the heights. Find yourself a role model, such as a media personality or an athlete.
It is important that the person has external similarities with you. Perform analysis using special programs and applications that can be found on the Internet (similarity recognition scheme).
Select 3 people, they must all be famous. Think about how you specifically resemble them in body and face. Find pictures of stars without makeup and with it.
The therapy aims to make you understand that the attractiveness of media personalities is nothing but the skill of makeup artists, stylists and hairdressers. V ordinary life they are the same people.
Then try to do your makeup and hair, pick up the most similar clothes. In this form, take pictures in nature and compare the photos. You will notice that anyone can become a star!

Step number 5. Accept your individuality

You need to understand that there is no single ideal of beauty. Each person is unique in their own way. The rest of the stereotypes are imposed by the model world and people who work in this area.
Personality is an individual trait of a person that makes him attractive. Big mistake it is believed that the beauty industry is trying to fit people to a common standard, a priori this is impossible.
It's no secret that each person has unique genetics, body structure and metabolic processes. If you try to stick to the rules, you simply deprive yourself of many joys in life.
Such an existence can be equated if you wear clothes of a certain color, eat the same dish every day. In a short time, this lifestyle can get boring for everyone.
The main task remains the realization that the concept of beauty is very vague. Ideals change every year in different eras, almost everything depends on various factors. Plunge a little into the past, and you will immediately understand that women and men have always looked individually.
You can talk endlessly on this topic, give many examples. Do not chase illusions, otherwise you will cripple the natural beauty. Discover the ideal in yourself and enjoy it. You are unique in your own way.

Step number 6. Notes with compliments

Dislike for their appearance lies in shyness, low self-esteem and the presence of many complexes. Therapy, which lasts for 1 month, will help to correct the situation.
Prepare the box in advance or beautiful box with lid lined with fabric. Take several landscape sheets of paper, cut each of them into strips about 4-5 cm wide. In the end, you should get the number of cuts, equal to the number days in a month.
Now think about the compliments that people around you and close friends most often give you. Write each of them on a piece of paper, twist it into a tube and fix it with a tourniquet. Send to the box.
The main thing is to choose such compliments that will please you. Avoid memorized phrases: “You are beautiful!” etc. You know your character better, so it will be easier to think over tactics.
After preparation, the matter remains small. Every morning after waking up, open one note. Read the content carefully and try to focus on it throughout the day.
If it is written that you have a beautiful smile, smile more often! Bring positivity and bring joy to those around you. It is important to believe what is written on the sheet.
For achievement best result notes should be written by a person who is not indifferent to you. This may be a life partner who is privy to your self-dislike, or close girlfriend. So you will not know what is specifically stated on paper. Hence the surprise.

Falling in love with your own appearance is not difficult if you accept that each person is individual. If you look at yourself in the mirror, you will understand that the facial features are in perfect harmony with each other. People who are worried about excess weight, it is worth signing up for a gym and choosing a wardrobe that hides flaws. Practice the tactics above and you will be happy!

Video: how to accept yourself and love your appearance

Tatiana Kulinich

Psychologists call our time the age of perfectionism, which slowly penetrates into all areas of our lives. But most of all it concerns appearance. Almost all of us periodically compare ourselves with the beauties and beauties from fashion magazines and TV programs, and we begin to worry about this. Many women are terribly afraid that their partner will see them without makeup, they are afraid to make love not in pitch darkness because of shame about their bodies. Is this familiar to you? Can't look in the mirror without a judgmental look? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Our techniques will help you start loving yourself and your body.

Accepting our own otherness

The first thing that a person who suffers from complexes because of his own appearance needs to learn is that there is no single type of attractiveness. The main lie of the beauty industry is that it seeks to fit all people to a single standard, and this is basically impossible. People have different genetics, different body structure, metabolism, etc. To follow a single standard means to voluntarily deprive yourself of the beautiful diversity of the world around you. Imagine if you had to eat only one dish for the rest of your life. Or wear the same color. The world would bore you very quickly.

The second thing you have to realize is how subjective the concept of beauty is, that is, it depends on many factors and changes in different eras. Would modern fashion critics call beautiful women looking at us from the canvases of medieval artists? Unlikely. Even such an icon of beauty as Marilyn Monroe now seems to many to be full and rustic. Not to mention the fact that she did plastic surgery and dyed her hair. In the 20th century, fashion changed even more rapidly than before. Each decade, one type of appearance became fashionable, and women rushed to match it, often crippling their natural beauty in the process. Is there any point in chasing this illusion? Isn't it easier to discover the beauty in yourself and cherish it?

Self-Esteem Techniques

In this part of our article, we will talk about what exactly can be done to stop chasing fashion standards.

Technique "Game of associations"

Our subjective perception shapes the world around us. People can relate to the same thing in completely different ways, depending on their attitudes. For example, someone hates semolina, because it reminds him of unpleasant experiences in kindergarten. And someone at the sight of her remembers the warm grandmother's house. Our perception directly depends on these associations.

So, take a piece of paper and describe what associations come to your mind when you think about your own body and appearance. For example, a woman who does not fit into modern standards of beauty can write about her body like this: fat, big, awkward, disgusting, loose, etc. Now try to pick up other associations filled with acceptance and admiration. For example: appetizing, fertile, reliable, safe, maternal, warm. It may not be easy at first, but over time, such associations will surely come to you. Remember the words of the heroine from the film “Moscow does not believe in tears: “Here I am, rude, right? And they call it eccentricity. That's where I stand."

Technique "Mirror of Love"

This technique can be done with a small mirror where only the face is visible, or with a full-length mirror. So, take a close look at your own reflection. Consider those parts of the body or face that you dislike the most. Ask for forgiveness from them for not accepting them, considering them ridiculous and ugly. And then tell them how much you love them, how willing you are to try to accept and admire yourself. Feel free to touch your reflection in the mirror. Kiss, stroke yourself in it. And don't be afraid that it might not be normal. It is not normal to not love and reject your body given to us by nature! Learn to talk to your body. Smile at him, thank him for what you have - so dear, healthy, beautiful. Give him compliments. You need to do this technique every morning and every evening for several weeks - at least two months. It has been proven that a skill is acquired by a person if they are practiced every day for at least two months. Then a new quality is built into you and becomes part of you.

Technique "I am a star!"

As you know, man is a social being. It is easier for us to decide on something if we see how others do it, we all need role models. To perform this technique, you will need to find stars, famous people who look like you. This can be done using special programs on the Internet that analyze the similarity of faces.

Technique "Dream Photoshoot"

Set aside money and time to have a photo session with a good photographer. Choose your own outfit, a place for a photo shoot. You can use the services of a professional makeup artist, because it is thanks to them that the stars look so stunning in their photographs. Choose your photographer responsibly. You should like not only his work, but also the way he presents himself, his very personality. After all, the final result depends on whether you can relax with him and trust his professionalism. High-quality pictures will certainly change your attitude towards yourself! The main thing is not to hide them in an album, but buy beautiful frames and put them on the table or hang them on the wall.

Body Love Day Technique

How do we deal with the people we truly love? We surround them with care and attention. How often do you take care of your body and appearance? Very often, people who consider themselves ugly completely stop caring about themselves. After all, why try if I'm already ugly, and nothing will change this? The result is a vicious circle: a person hates his body, does not take care of it, it starts to look even worse, and he hates himself even more.

So, one day a week, devote yourself entirely to self-care. It can be a sauna, a bath, a swimming pool. It will be great if you sign up for a spa. But the rituals of love for your body can be carried out at home. Get yourself a face and hair mask. Buy a nice-smelling oil and do a light massage of the whole body. Order, or make your own natural cream. Buy rose petals, take a candlelit bath with them, drip essential oils into them, pour in sea salt, make yourself a scrub. Buy yourself nice clothes. Find a good massage therapist and massage every week. Do what you can from this list and come up with something of your own. Do not spare yourself money and time, and soon you will certainly notice how much your attitude to your appearance will change.

Technique "Message of Love"

Every morning you will need to draw out one compliment and throughout the day think about it as often as possible, concentrate on what it emphasized in you. For example, today it fell out to you: “You just have a charming smile!”. Throughout the day, you need to smile as often as possible, and also get a good feel for your facial expressions in the mouth area. Perhaps you have a habit of wrinkling your lips from tension, but you didn’t know about it. Or bite them, etc. All day we pay attention to our lips. The next day's compliment turns out to be: "You have such an easy, beautiful approach." So, today we need to pay attention to how we walk. Is there stiffness, stoop, weakness in the legs? We focus on the feeling of strength and flexibility while walking.

In this article, we have listed the most effective techniques that will help you build a relationship with your body. Remember, you are a beautiful child of the Universe, you simply cannot be ugly, the main thing is to discover your unique, only your beauty within yourself!

Tatyana Kulinich for https: // site