I have no children what to do. Life without children. He turned to my friends, abruptly interrupting their conversation. “Do you know how awful this woman is? She's all alone
I'd like to tell you about my stupidly lived life. I am now 48 years old and I am trying to start living anew, in a strange city and all alone. No, of course, in my life there were pleasant moments, but there was also a lot of disappointment and unfulfilled dreams and desires.
One of my main unfulfilled desires is to have a baby. No, everything is in order with health, it's just that life turned out that way, as they say, unsuccessfully. I was married, for 26 years my husband and I lived in perfect harmony, but it seemed so to me then.
Valentine (my spouse) was the first and last love in my life: tall, handsome, handyman, hard-working. We met him at the institute, and after 14 days of our acquaintance we applied to the registry office. After 3 months, they played a student wedding - there were sausages and pickled tomatoes on the table, there was not even money for potatoes. Valik did not have parents, he was raised cousin mother, and he was ashamed to ask her for money, but I have one mother and 2 twin brothers for 7 years.
Immediately after the wedding, our young family moved to a room in a communal apartment, kindly provided to us by a friend of Valik. The room had a bed, a chair and a suitcase with our belongings. We lived like this for 3 years. Even before the wedding, we dreamed that we would have 3 children, Valik really wanted a daughter, and so did I. In a year life together I talked about it with him, he said that children are the best in the world, but it is not worth giving birth to children in such conditions, it is better to wait another year until he graduates from the institute, goes to work, we will be given a room in a family dormitory and then we will give birth daughter. I agreed. I thought he was really speaking correctly.
Then on family council, we decided that I need to leave the institute - two students in one family will be cramped, and family budget there is no site for two to eat in the student canteen. And so I will be at home, prepare food, and he will run in and have lunch. After graduating from the institute, Valik was given a room in a hostel, but even then we did not have children. At that time, 6 couples lived on our floor, 4 of whom had children. There I made friends with Marina, she lived with her husband and daughter. Helen was then very little and I very often helped Marinka, sat with her, fed her, walked. Then I decided to talk to Valik, I really wanted a child, Valik agreed, but about a year later - he just got a job, while settling in a new place, so that when the child was born, there would be stability.
We waited for stability for 4 years, and when it came, they decided to resettle our hostel. We were moved to another, where we were eerie conditions... After 5 years we were given an apartment, a good one, by that time Valik had already become a master of the plot, money began to appear in the house, stability appeared and we decided on a child, but the pregnancy did not work out. I went to the doctor, who told the site that everything was fine, prescribed vitamins and told me to try again after the vitamin. But at that time, Valik was offered a place at a large metallurgical plant in another city, we moved and again bowed to our apartments. Then they decided to build a house. I reminded him of the child every day, but he only brushed aside that everything was still ahead, that we would build a house and give birth to not three, but still one will be.
Construction, worries, troubles, the years flew by like an instant. When I woke up, I saw that my husband began to look even more beautiful than he was - a few gray hair and in general he is my man anywhere. But we lost our passion, we were like neighbors. Then I again reminded about the child, to which my husband said that the child is needed. I said: “Let's give birth,” and he laughed and said: “Aunt, how old are you, at your age they are babysitting grandchildren, and not giving birth to children, or do you want to give birth to another down? You are already 44, what kind of children, and I will find who will give birth to a child, believe me, I will not be left without a child. "
And then I saw the light. I realized that I was already old, but my whole life was in vain, just passed, in care of Valentine. A week later he was gone, gone to her... At first I called him, asked him, I was hysterical, because of nervousness I started to climax at 44, I got very old. I did not live for a year, but existed, I just howled day and night, hoping that he would return. He returned a year later, to ask for a divorce, said that he had found a woman and she was pregnant with him. I asked why he needed a girl who could be his daughter and asked to introduce, introduce me as his sister. I don't know why I did it, I guess I just wanted to see what he changed me to. He agreed surprisingly.
I was very surprised that Valik's chosen one was not a young girl, but rather grown woman named Anastasia, she is 38, she has 2 higher educations and really loves him.
Returning home, I dived under the blankets and howled like a beluga. Marina helped me, although she lived far away, she always supported the site. In March, Valik had a daughter, Veronica, the daughter we dreamed of so much. He came to me with a bottle of cognac and stayed. Stayed for a week. No, we did not make love with him, we communicated as a brother and sister, he told how he loves his wife and daughter, and I cried. And then I decided that so be it and you just need to start all over again. I left Valik's house, completely abandoned it, let it be, the child needs room for development - we built a house for our children.
I left for a small town, where I got a job as a nanny in a kindergarten, I rent a room from an old woman. Sometimes Valik calls me in the evenings and talks about his girl, but that week he told me that he and Nastya would have a son. And I cry at night ...
With the word “family”, as a rule, the image of “mom, dad and me” arises in the mind - at least one, or even two children. This is the traditional concept of the family.
Meanwhile in recent times the number of families who do not want to have children is growing.
Someone thinks that such a position is selfish and even blasphemous, someone does not see anything terrible and unnatural in it. Let's try to figure out what is behind this phenomenon.
What is behind the word "must"?
First of all, I would like to question the very obligation of having children in the family.
A man is a man that is driven by more than one instinct, he has. And if this ability for reflection is given to a person "in the basic configuration", then he is able to think - is it worth it to bring a child into this world?
However, not so much nature as social reality played a cruel joke with a person - the instinctive, physiological "must" of living nature was replaced by a person with a "must" social. Physiology, by the way, does not always "require" the birth of a child. Rather, it is required by his mind and those beliefs about which he can assess himself positively.
For example, a child is sometimes perceived as a certain part of the attributes of “well-being” and “success”. Must have Good work, a roof over your head, a car, a wife / husband and a child. And then life will be "arranged", then you can tell yourself that it has taken shape, that you are quite successful, in general, you can put yourself in the top five and allow yourself to demand respect from others.
In practice, I often come across this: a woman comes, unmarried, who has not yet learned how to even build relationships with men, and already says that it is necessary to give birth. Yes, in general, those who have just got married, or have recently lived in civil marriage- have not yet had time to understand who they are to each other, have not yet had time to realize the degree of responsibility, but already it is necessary. I often ask the question: do you want? Well, yes! - and there is not a shadow of reflection in the eyes. Stereotypes are very strong, and often people do not even bother to doubt. The dominant ideology also leaves its mark with its procreation and social rewards for it.
But being parents is an art, a vocation that rarely is perceived in this way.
From demanding mothers (future grandmothers) one can hear the categorical "you are an egoist, since you do not want children!" Behind this often stands: "you do not want to please me with grandchildren." There are more subtle nuance- “you don’t want to correspond, you don’t want to live up to my expectations, so that you have everything as it should, and I could be proud of you and present you as proof of my own usefulness too”.
If a person says “I don’t want”, what labels do not hang on him - insensitive, defective, insolvent. But the worst thing is for women - if, then it definitely did not take place in the eyes of the majority. And no one asks questions about whether she really needed this mother's role, whether they sincerely wanted to have a child. Just "must".
It is not just disgruntled potential grandmothers who want their children to be "okay" with the labels of the inferior. And also those whose children simply "turned out".
At the subconscious level, such parents feel disharmony: they do not fully understand why they are solving all these endless problems with children. After all, they did not want children sincerely enough, they did not consciously make the decision to have children.
Most likely, the biosocial “must”, denoted by the frivolous term “it happened”, worked much earlier than the possible realization. And often in accusatory speeches child couples in relation to childless are clearly heard anger ... at their own circumstances, which at an unconscious level are perceived as an imposed restriction.
There is another variant of a not entirely healthy, in my opinion, attitude to the appearance of a child: when a child is only a “consequence”, a “continuation” of the relationship, and they do not see an independent value in him - only an attributive one.
You can often hear: "I love my husband / wife so much that the best proof of my love is a child." And even tougher can be called the option when one of the spouses, feeling some kind of crack in the marriage, tries to bind the other with a child.
But a child can be neither a means nor a proof, he cannot be an attribute at all. Per similar attitude children have a sense of ownership, a desire, having given birth to a child, to appropriate at least a part of a loved one, to have him at their disposal to the greatest extent possible. And you have to love a child. And life is very diverse - the one whom you so wanted to appropriate can be washed away by the next wave of love or disappointment.
I remember the words of one of my clients: "My mother still cannot forgive me that she gave birth to me from the one who betrayed her afterwards."
This does not mean that a husband and wife with children do not know how to do this at all. But, often fulfilling a “social order” and living “like everyone else,” women and men, tortured by problems, secretly unconsciously envy this attention, this immersion in each other, this degree of interest in each other of childless couples.
A family without children is a territory almost devoid of the concept of "duty", as well as devoid of a "cementing element". Here people are with each other for one reason - they feel good together. Or at least convenient. Nothing keeps them close, except for the conviction of the need for this union, they need each other. And there is no "third force" that would keep them close to each other.
Fearfully? Perhaps. This is the way without guarantees and insurance. But it is in childless couples that you most often meet that true free attachment, which is held by the soul and mutual respect, desire and interest. Meanwhile, as a family, artificially "cemented" by the need to have children (if the birth of the latter did not happen mutually and sincere desire!), sometimes degenerates into a community of comrades who just need to "drag" children to independence.
I demonstrate these extremes only to show: only if children are a step consciously by partners, only if they are perceived not as an inevitable consequence of the relationship, and not as an “appendage” of the partner, but as full-fledged and important personalities in themselves - only then the climate the family will be harmonious, and the union of partners will be strong.
There are no good and bad ways, there is something that is like or not suitable for everyone specific person... And there is a specific family vocation - it tells someone to be a parent, to someone - to become the only one for only one person.
Egor, 26 years old, was a girl, they lived together a little more than a year, the question arose about the continuation in the form of the birth of a child. And with all his love, Yegor refused. The girl left him, and he was very worried about it. But at the consultation he told me: “I do not want any lies. And if I feel that I am not ready to become a parent, it is better not to. Perhaps this is not my way at all. I wanted to live for her, I wanted life for each other. Well, no matter how bitter it may be, one day I will meet a person whose goals coincide with mine. "
If you yourself feel a calling to live only for your spouse, is it worth it to suffer from guilt and succumb to the pressure of social stereotypes? You have one life, and if you did not feel a definite and clear desire to be a parent, you are not to blame for anything.
When I first heard about the whole child-free movement, I realized that they only create a balance of propaganda traditional family, but in nature everything, as you know, strives for balance.
And therefore, in response to one propaganda, we received another. None of them are good. Only one thing can be called correct - the choice of one's own, individual and conscious path in this world, as well as the absence of condemnation of someone's personal choice.
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Children are the flowers of life ... this phrase has always haunted me, when in my thoughts my unborn baby and I ran through the sun-drenched flowering meadow. My baby, I never called him otherwise, came in a dream and ran around me, laughing happily and hugging his beloved mother. And how bitter it became from the fact that at the age of 18 I was given terrible diagnosis- infertility. There were always kids by my side: two brothers and a sister, children from the camp where I loved to spend time and later became a counselor, and finally in kindergarten where did they take me after college junior educator... A lot of children, but not mine ... but I coped with my problem. How not to go crazy or my story of finding the most expensive flowers in my life.
My revelation: how I existed without children
It happened suddenly, usually this is what they say about love, but I am talking about my diagnosis. At that time, I did not even suspect that this could be: from the age of 17 I met a guy, loved each other immensely and were going to get married. In the courtyard, they constantly heard a funny saying behind their backs: "bride and groom" and something else there. But they only smiled, thinking how we would arrange our home, both of large families, so they wanted the kids madly. Three at least: two strong boys and a tiny daughter. And there, how to look, what and how ...
After coming of age, everything happened by itself, and even the date of the wedding was set. Exactly six months after leaving school. Yes, only during these six months my life turned upside down. Nothing special happened, there were no bleeding, accidents or pathologies with me. They just somehow forgot to use their favorite means of protection, and here on New Year I probably made a mistake - I drank an emergency interruption pill so that after intercourse there would not be an unexpected pregnancy before the wedding.
Those days became hell, my stomach was spinning incredibly, the temperature rose and the next day we went to the doctor together. After taking it, it became a little easier, the doctor removed the attack and prescribed tests: and they came. The second time we were also together, and instead of the news that it was okay, the doctor rubbed his eyes behind the glasses and asked: how long have I been taking similar funds protection? My answer surprised him that it was only once, and before that I, like many, had been drinking contraceptives from the age of 18 and in the third month, as instructed, I took a break. I still remember his guilty look and the phrase: "You didn't need this ... fruitless."
- Physical abnormalities. This is when the uterus is located in the wrong direction or has a bend not in front, in the back, which makes it difficult to conceive. Not my case.
- Traumatic cases. The uterus is injured after childbirth, or during an accident or other accidents, also not my story.
- Incorrectly performed abortion. The epithelium, as I remembered only then this word, lines the uterus around the entire perimeter, and during an abortion, along with the fetus, it is, as it were, cleaned off mechanically, and if the operation was performed by a non-specialist gynecologist, for example, in private conditions, then the possibility of chronic infertility is not excluded. Also not my situation
- Obstruction of the fallopian tubes. This is my destiny ... the ovaries, which secrete the very egg for conception, are connected to the uterus by these special pipes, like in a vacuum cleaner, a stupid comparison was made by the doctor then, but similar. And if there is an obstruction, then the egg simply cannot reach the right place and will die within 24 hours. This is the same with me ...
- Lazy ovary. I already listened to this part half-ear, but I remembered that this also happens when the ovaries stop secreting eggs due to transferred colds or sexually transmitted infections.
What to do with my problem? Solve it promptly, expand the ducts and remove cysts that make it difficult to pass. However, the possibility of pregnancy is also ephemeral: in 50% of cases, the tubes are so traumatized that they even have to be removed.
I left the office, looked at the girls sitting in line: many were already deeply pregnant, sat happy, some even with their husbands, and were glowing, literally glowing from the inside. And I ... I silently walked up to my fiance and burst into tears, clutching the medical certificate. He did not know the reason, and it would be better if he didn’t know. Later, at home, he said that you need to try and then everything will work out, because we will overcome everything together. And then she asked: what if not, if the treatment does not help? Will he be able to adopt a stranger and love? The answer was silence, but I clung to his previous words like a lifeline.
My infertility: attempts, dreams and results
All my visits to doctors began immediately after marriage. I was myself beautiful bride in the registry office, but happy? I can't say, all the time the thought was spinning in my head that I was not that kind, that I needed to act, and every day only alienates my long-awaited child from me, who is not yet there. How soon will he be? I hoped so.
Literally right after honeymoon dedicated to all conceivable and inconceivable methods of conception, I went to antenatal clinic and began to act, status married lady strengthened me even more. Among my girlfriends, I became just crazy, not only did I get married early, but I am also going to be treated in parallel with the institute. “Why do you need a child? Take a walk while you are young! " sounded from all sides, but I stubbornly walked forward, furtively brushing away tears. All my girlfriends could give birth when they wanted, but I couldn't. And it seemed that every year this opportunity decreases even more.
After visiting the doctors between family and school, I realized the main thing: the operative method is not so scary than stuffing yourself with all kinds of chemistry in pills, from them only hormonal disbalance begins, but pregnancy still does not occur.
My husband rejected it right away: he didn’t want to go to the doctors and donate something, and then my egg didn’t appear at all, so there was no chance. And I decided to have an operation.
When I woke up, I realized that something had changed, my husband looked at me somehow differently. My analyzes, visits to doctors have worn him out for a year and a half. He studied in absentia, worked and wanted ordinary family, not a girl preoccupied with sex in certain days ovulation, and even by the hour. And also the one who wanted the baby so much that she decided to disfigure her body in such a way. Abdominal surgery ended not very well, one pipe broke during cleaning and had to be removed, and a long scar adorned the body.
My zero chances turned negative and my husband ...
He only looked at me lost with his big eyes, and I read in them not love, but pity. He didn't want that kind of life. After my discharge, we quietly divorced, and he left. I hardly cried, only sometimes when one of my kindergarten kids sobbed in their sleep, and I could not hug him and hug him like mine.
Infertility is not a sentence, or how a new ray of light appeared in my life
After the hospital, I went to a psychologist, as I could no longer cope myself. Father and mother shyly hid their eyes when they met, and brothers and sister had long gone their own ways: my sister also quickly married, she is three years older, and I already had a nephew. It would seem that here it is a dear outlet, but it was not that. My sister rarely gave me time to be with the baby, and in the end he hardly knew me, and the brothers were in no hurry to get married. And I was all alone. The only strange thing is that the family moved away from me, as if I was contagious. Therefore, a psychologist was the ideal option.
I looked forward to meeting with pleasure by a stranger to blurt out everything that torments me and finally burst into tears, like in the movies. But the conversation turned to something completely different. The psychologist turned out to be an energetic and bright woman who seemed to want to kick me during the conversation and my complaints. At the end of the conversation, she made a whole plan for me "to get out of a prolonged depression":
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for ourselves, we become weaker and more vulnerable, so it is much easier to break us. You need to become stronger, temper your will, character, and then everything will improve. Life loves the strong, but it tramples the weak.
- Find what works best and develop professionally in this area. Work will save you from mental problems better than any medication.
- Arrange for yourself a rest. He must be active with a constant change of activity. A hike to the mountains, where I will have to survive on my own for at least a day, is what I need.
- Pass all your heartache , into which the unspent desire to have a child has turned into and to give him warmth, to those who need it: to go to a hospice, Orphanage or a baby's house.
We parted strangely, after I wrote down all the recommendations, she looked at me with a long look and said: "You have to believe and wait, and then everything will be resolved in the best way."
And then she showed the photo on her desk: a happy snub-nosed baby, as fair as an angel, was smiling from him.
Your daughter, my heart ached.
Now mine, - the psychologist responded and said quietly. - When despair reached its peak, I just went to an orphanage and adopted her. And she waited for me, believed and waited.
I came out elated with hope and began to bring the whole list to life. She graduated from the university, became a senior educator, even drove off on a hike with her parents, and most importantly, found the nearest orphanage and, having bought goodies, went to the children.
The fact that they were glad to me means saying nothing. The children surrounded me and vied with each other, and the teachers smiled. I myself laughed and played with them until late in the evening. But my baby was not among them. Bye…
And then one day I saw him - Artyom. He also brought food and toys to the orphanage. We got into a conversation, and realized that we were bound by one thing. We both want to be parents and both are infertile, since Artyom's sperm are too weak, and I, with my one whole tube, are like an invalid. But it was not a common grief that brought us together, it was just love ...
Day after day, and now we are already married, I don’t want to talk about him and about us - after all, happiness loves silence. Artyom seemed to be always there, he became my mirror, and I completely forgot about my problem, but we didn't leave the kids, we also fiddled with them on weekends. And finally, after a year of our life together, we saw Sasha. Pugnacious, strong and like a hedgehog, ruffy. He came here after an accident and became an orphan. After the first evening with him and the children, Artyom smiled at me, it seemed, he read my thoughts: "This is ours, Allochka, our son."
I came across a very interesting publication on the Internet by Alexander Litvin - the winner of the 6th "Battle of psychics", perhaps these explanations will be useful for our girls:
A. Lytvin:
Last time he promised to talk about why some families have no children for a long time, provided the correct medical diagnosis is made and problems are excluded. physical level.
What do you mean by long time? In my mind long time- it's over 8 years old, and here's why.
Fate (providence, energetic laws of interaction) is wise and it just waits to “give” us children, the most balanced, suitable for both parents in terms of energy. In other words, the energy picture created by the ancestors can vary within the 10% that "belongs" to us.
It takes up to 8 years for the individual energy generators of the parents to get into the necessary resonance, which, in turn, would lead to the offspring with the most favorable combination power engineer.
This case, by the way, lends itself to a fairly good correction, since all that needs to be done is to bring the energies into resonance. The work, of course, is painstaking and individual: sometimes it is necessary to move geographically, change the place of residence, sometimes it is necessary to “weaken” or “strengthen” one of the partners, sometimes it is enough to change the lifestyle and / or profession, sometimes it is necessary to remove people with incompatible energies from the environment.
If someone has to wait more than 8 years, then, most likely, the reason is in the unfavorable concourses of energy drinks described below.
It is possible that people do not fit each other so energetically that only sick (physically or mentally) children can be born to them. And here fate is already using all the ways to avoid this.
For example, very passionate emotional relationship(what is called "love to the point of insanity" or else they say "opposites attract"), as a rule, give unhealthy offspring. It would seem illogical - a fountain of feelings and emotions, "love that happens once in a lifetime." But on energy level such a relationship can be compared to a short circuit, which, as you know, does not lead to anything good. This was known long before us: in the old days, healers considered such love a disease, and diseases, as a rule, are contagious. So, only a sick child can be born from such a "painful" relationship. But, for example, the Chinese, to simplify the situation, have created their own classification of unfavorable combinations - just refer to the Chinese horoscope.
Another pretty important point consists in the fact that people do not fit each other, but according to other characteristics. And then it may turn out that not the children will be sick, but one of the spouses, with the continuation of this marriage, faces an early death. Fate, not giving them children, thus "pushes" them to part, so that they can create a safer marriage with another person. There are a million examples of this, and you yourself remember the cases among your acquaintances, when in subsequent marriages, both easily and quickly have healthy children.
It is clear that this, provided that problems are excluded at the physical level, are only two main reasons, the most common, and there are still other special cases.
What happens when there are problems at the physical level? I believe that my audience already possesses sufficient knowledge to understand that the root cause of all disturbances in the functioning of body systems lies in the energy plane. Violation energy balance- the root cause of everything that happens on the physical level. Any diagnosis is already an imbalance. If the diagnosis cannot be made or it is constantly changing, then there is a reason to seriously think about the energy component.
Infertility is one of the consequences of energy imbalance. And, fortunately, it is not always fatal - in my practice there have been different situations related to this problem that have been successfully resolved. The most difficult thing is when the sterility is caused by the "merits" of the ancestors, when the race stops at a certain moment. There is hardly anything that can be done here, unfortunately.
It so happens that one of the spouses got "inherited" from their ancestors energy problem- this is often called the "ancestral curse." What is a ancestral curse? This is the type of qualified energy impact, which, as a rule, is expressed in the impossibility of long-term partnerships, in the inability to have children, in complete or partial loss (closing) of intuition. If such a person with “greetings from the past” took a person with crystal clear energy as his wife, then it turns out that fate has nothing to “punish” his soul mate by giving her a sick child. And another from this spouse is unlikely to be born, alas ...
As for the termination of pregnancy, there are more social and ethical moments, as well as moments of a religious nature - and this is clearly not in my competence. If we look at it from the point of view of energy laws, then a lot goes against the Christian commandments and your right to accept it or not. I just express my opinion.
In my opinion, the mother should have the right not to give birth to a child if she, being even in happy marriage and, in general, not against children, he has a strong premonition that it is with this child that "something is wrong." Even knowing 100%, I will never take the responsibility to tell a pregnant woman that her child will be far from ideal, I can only hint that she would trust her feelings. I only regret that such a woman did not come to me earlier, when it would be possible to pick up favorable time for the birth of a child - healthy, most suitable for both parents.
It is definitely not worth terminating a pregnancy if you, in general, want this child, but the only argument not to have one is financial problems. Remember one universal energy law that is expressed in simple words, which are close to people: "God gives a child, God will give to a child."
A child does not come into this world as a "dependent"; he will bring with him exactly as much energy as he needs for his whole life. And in the first years of life - and this is the answer to the question where is it own energy until he turns 10-12 years old - he will completely give his energy to you for temporary, if I may say so, use. You will be able to maintain it, at least "for bread and butter" you will definitely have. Well, for the sake of continuing a kind of "no caviar" you can survive, right?
If you have made the decision to take adopted children, then be internally ready that you are theirs, and they are unlikely to feel you on an intuitive level, on the subconscious. The older they get, the more attentively you need to listen to their feelings and desires, and I do not mean at all that you will need to indulge them in everything.
I propose to be a loving gardener, lovingly fertilizing the ground under the tree, forming a beautiful crown, pruning diseased and dry branches. If you are deaf and do not understand the child, and instead try to make a lilac bush out of an apple tree or, even worse, a beautiful carved chair, you will definitely not get the fruit.
Often a child is chosen according to their external characteristics, but it would still be nice to take a child close to you in terms of energy - it will be easier for you and him, but this must be done before you decide to take the child. After that, it is already difficult to change something.
To take a foster child is to do good, to give a piece of your soul and warmth. So I read it and thought about it ..... what will your opinion be?
Children are born in a certain year, month, day and hour, and this is not determined by us. It seems to us that we are deciding something, that we can plan the birth of a child - we are preparing, calculating, putting in order our health ... determines its energy characteristics by 90% (based on my practice), depends on our ancestors both on the paternal and maternal lines, up to the seventh generation. The actions of our ancestors, carrying a certain emotional coloring that affect the energy of other people, subsequently program the presence, development and quality later life their descendants. This is a "rough" setting that we cannot change.
All we can really do is, if we draw an analogy with a radio receiver, turn the "fine" knob in one direction or another, but always - within the range given to us. Since our thoughts, actions, words and emotions have an additional impact, both positive and negative, on the energy characteristics of our child, until the moment of conception, we can either correct something, or, without knowing it, worsen it. This is completely our responsibility. And here we will have to ask only ourselves.
Fate (providence, energy laws of interaction) is wise, and it just bides its time to give us children who are as balanced as possible, energetically suitable for both parents. It takes up to eight years for the parents' individual energy generators to get into the necessary resonance, which, in turn, would lead to offspring with the most favorable combination of energetics. This case, by the way, lends itself to a fairly good correction, since all that needs to be done is to bring the energies into resonance. The work, of course, is painstaking and individual: sometimes it is necessary to move geographically, change the place of residence, sometimes it is necessary to “weaken” or “strengthen” one of the partners, sometimes it is enough to change the lifestyle and / or profession, sometimes it is necessary to remove people with incompatible energies from the environment.
If someone has to wait over 8 years, then most likely the reason is in the unfavorable concourses of energy drinks described below.
It is possible that people are so energetically unsuitable for each other that only physically or mentally ill children can be born to them. And here fate is already using all the ways to avoid this. For example, a very passionate emotional relationship, what is called love to the point of insanity, tends to produce unhealthy offspring. It would seem illogical - a fountain of feelings and emotions, love that happens "once in a lifetime." But at the energy level, such a relationship can be compared to a short circuit, which, as you know, does not lead to anything good. This was known long before us: in the old days, healers considered such love a disease, and diseases, as a rule, are contagious. So that from such painful relationships only a sick child can be born. But, for example, the Chinese, to simplify the situation, have created their own classification of unfavorable combinations - just refer to the Chinese horoscope.
Another rather important point is that people do not suit each other, but according to other characteristics. And then it may turn out that the children will be healthy, but one of the spouses, with the continuation of this marriage, is threatened with early death. Fate, by not giving them children, thus pushes them to part, so that they can create a safer marriage with another person. There are a million examples of this, and you yourself remember the cases among your acquaintances, when in subsequent marriages, both easily and quickly have healthy children.
It is clear that this, provided that problems are excluded at the physical level, are only two main reasons, the most common, and there are still other special cases.
What happens when there are problems at the physical level? I believe that my audience already possesses sufficient knowledge to understand that the root cause of all disturbances in the functioning of body systems lies in the energy plane. Energy imbalance is the root cause of everything that happens on the physical level. Any diagnosis is already an imbalance. If the diagnosis cannot be made or it is constantly changing, then there is a reason to seriously think about the energy component. Infertility is one of the consequences of energy imbalance. And, fortunately, it is not always fatal. In my practice, there were various situations related to this problem, which were successfully resolved. The most difficult thing is when infertility is caused by the merits of ancestors, when the race stops at a certain moment. There is hardly anything that can be done here, unfortunately.
For example, one of the spouses inherited an energy problem from their ancestors - this is often called the "ancestral curse." What is a ancestral curse? This is a type of qualified energetic impact, which, as a rule, is expressed in complete or partial loss (closure) of intuition, in the impossibility of long-term partnerships, in the inability to have children. If such a person took a person with crystal clear energy as his wife, then it turns out that fate has nothing to punish his soul mate for by giving her a sick child. And another from this spouse is unlikely to be born, alas ...
As for the termination of pregnancy, there are more social and ethical moments, as well as moments of a religious nature - and this is clearly not in my competence. If we look at it from the point of view of energy laws, then a lot goes against the Christian commandments, and your right is to accept it or not. I just express my opinion: a mother should have the right not to give birth to a child if, even in a happy marriage and in general, she is not against children, she has a strong premonition that it is with this child that “something is wrong”. Even knowing 100%, I will never take the responsibility to tell a pregnant woman that her child will be far from ideal, I can only hint that she would trust her feelings. I only regret that such a woman did not come to me earlier, when it would be possible to find a favorable time for the birth of a child - healthy, most suitable for both parents.
It is definitely not worth terminating a pregnancy if you want a child, but the only argument not to have one is financial problems. Remember one universal energy law, which is expressed in simple words that are close to people: "God gives a child, God will give for a child."
A child does not come into this world as a dependent, he will bring with him exactly as much energy as he needs for his whole life. And in the first years of life (and this is the answer to the question, where is his own energy until he is 10-12 years old), he will completely give his energy to you for temporary use. You will be able to maintain it, at least "for bread and butter" you will definitely have. Well, for the sake of continuing a kind of "no caviar" you can survive, right?
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“A happy person is one who has found harmony with himself. When we understand what it takes to be happy, things become easier. We are moving towards the goal, modeling the future, "says Alexander.
LJ address: A-LITVIN.LIVEJOURNAL.COM