How ladies' men behave. What results can be achieved by taking Lovelace. Restriction in appointment

24.04.2019

Relationship between man and woman is a complex process in which you need to take into account all the little things and features. If you only build on your principles and views, then it is unlikely that you will achieve success v personal life, because another person may have a completely different character.

In principle, today you can classify people by their behavior and outlook on life, so for sure many women would be interested to know the characteristics of a man-womanizer who can break his heart and ruin life, or, on the contrary, give years of happiness and joy. Yes, such a man may well become yours forever, if, of course, he sincerely falls in love and exchanges quantity for quality. To contact such a man or not is your own business, but the information is worth familiarizing with. But let's talk about how to calculate it from the total mass and determine it by habits.

1. Lovelace tries not to talk about himself, constantly asks about you. If you notice someone who shows incredible attention to your personality and does not want to talk about himself, then for sure he belongs to this category of the stronger sex. He will answer all your questions shortly, without revealing the essence of the answer. It is quite possible that he will begin his acquaintance with you by asking how old you are, what your hobbies are, where you like to go and what kind of literature you read. In fact, he is not very interested in detailed information about each of the mistresses, but with the help of such a simple trick, he attracts sympathy from the opposite sex. Women love to talk about themselves, and he knows it very well. Information about you will help him to better establish contact and guess your desires, because it is important for him to receive love and delight in return.

2. Lovelace man tries to adhere to your views, does not argue, agrees with the point of view. This is simply not beneficial to him, because his goal is a specific woman, and not convincing her in any matters. That is why try to listen carefully to what he says. With such a person, after 15 minutes of communication, you will get the impression that you have known him all your life and that it is so easy and simple to work with him. If he nods and constantly says that he agrees with you, then you are practically his prey. Psychologists call this ability to achieve the location of the interlocutor - adjustment, so try to analyze the actions at least a little. a specific person and do not rush to melt from his words and compliments. The most important thing in this matter is to realize in time that he is not at all interested in your deep spiritual world, it is important for him to put another tick in the list of conquered hearts.

3. Lovelace will try to please you and be appropriate to the situation. If your day is not going well, then he will cheer up with his sparkling humor, if your beloved friend betrayed you, he will tell a similar situation about himself and his friend. He will try to be interesting and relevant to you. In the end, if you are corny lacking male attention and compliments, we will gladly help you with this. After communicating with a man-womanizer, you will feel elated and happy, because he is fluent in psychological tricks and communication skills.

4. He always thinks through all his steps.... There are those who are constantly worried about how a particular lady will react to his actions and words and do not know what to expect from her. A man-womanizer always knows exactly what to do, and if the first option does not work, he will have another one in reserve. If a woman refuses to go to any institution, then he will offer something else. And if she simply does not have the mood, then she will use the entire arsenal of her charm and humor. He knows what he wants, so every step he takes is planned in advance.

5. A male womanizer will make physical contact... Such a man knows exactly what women like, therefore, with the help of tenderness and sensuality, get as close to her as possible. He will invite you to dance, gently touch his hands and cheeks. A man-womanizer will never start his date with vulgarity and excessive sexual activity, because so he can scare off his victim. And tenderness is liked by absolutely everyone, especially those women who are deprived of male attention. A woman should feel his courage and strength, intertwined with tenderness and sensuality, and he knows how to do this. As soon as a woman melts and succumbs to his caresses, he can do almost anything he wants with her. With his hands he will stroke your hair, touch your back and face, but he will not allow himself something forbidden and vulgar.

6. Lovelace will fill all your free space. A man-womanizer knows perfectly well that one should not lose sight of the one that should become his prey, therefore he carefully monitors his actions with words and desires a specific girl... He will compliment, carry, write poetry and show concern, but will not spend a lot of money. In fact, it is simply not profitable for him, because you are not the first and not the last from him, but to buy expensive gifts and visiting an expensive restaurant is spending time at a loss. That is why he will manifest himself as courageously and gallantly as possible, will delight pleasant little things, but will keep within minimum amount of money.

7. Lovelace man keeps his distance and tries to be elusive. Surely, after several dates, he will begin to imperceptibly disappear from your field of vision, and then completely from life. While you are interesting to him, he will be there, but as soon as you want to complain to him about life in the middle of the night or invite friends to the party, then magically will find a lot of reasons and excuses, or completely disappear from sight.

That is why do not place high hopes on him, because all he needs is a woman available at a convenient time for him. Your calls and requests to meet will be ignored, and the desire to spend time together will go unnoticed. It will give you time to cool down so as not to become boring, and it can disappear at any moment, especially when you do not expect it.

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Beware of flattery. Sincere compliments always pleasant, but you are unlikely to believe the person who praises you every minute. Lovelaces often try to win a girl with an excessive amount of flattery and praise.

Pay attention to the type of compliments. Common phrases that sound at every turn or are applicable to any girl ( beautiful hair, gorgeous smile) will always show that he doesn't really think about your personality and personal qualities. Also be wary of men who compliment your weaknesses.
Often a womanizer almost immediately begins to call a girl one or more pet names like "sun", "bunny" or "fish". Such behavior is appropriate some time after the start of the relationship, but not on the very first day.

Notice the deception. The Lovelaces are notorious liars. It is not easy to catch him in a lie, but if this happens, then it is better to pay attention to it. Be especially careful with those you have repeatedly caught lying.

Most often, a womanizer tells a lie about his past, recent pastime and the people in whose company he was.
If you have suspicions, and you told the guy about it, then pay attention to his reaction. As a rule, the womanizer will try to laugh it off and change the topic of the conversation. If this number does not pass, then he can admit the truth, but at the same time shift it to you blame for my Lying.

Consider the details of a womanizer's life. Most ladies' men are selfish, so they will immediately start talking about themselves even before you ask. If a guy is in no hurry to share information about his life, then ask him questions and notice inconsistencies in his words.

Everyone wants to show themselves to the person they like in favorable light but the ladies' man usually will too much good. If his story is like ready script, and it is difficult to believe in it, then your guesses may well turn out to be true.
Take note of the details. If the facts don't agree, then the whole story may not be true.

Tell us about yourself. Since many ladies' men are only interested in themselves, similar person will not waste time on your stories. If a man is really interested in you, he will always want to know more about you, but the womanizer does not care.

An experienced womanizer will certainly take an interest in your life, but he will hardly memorize the details. Bring up the topic you discussed last time. It is quite natural for a man to forget some trifle, but constant inattention is a bad sign.

Discuss past relationships. Ask him about past relationships, and also talk about yourself. Such conversations give the womanizer the opportunity to manipulate your feelings.

He may ask about your past relationship and become obsessed with the insecurity you felt at the time. Knowing your weak spots, he will be able to use such information to his advantage.
In talking about his last relationship, he can omit many details, but at the same time emphasize that he was hurt. Mention the offense- completely normal, but trying to evoke pity betrays the manipulator's tactics.

Lovelace, don Juan, ladies' man- at the time of our grandparents, so called gallant courteous men. They knew how to deftly "approach the handle", that is, kiss the lady's hand, say an ornate compliment, were pleasant to talk to and extremely seductive. The days of sophisticated gentlemen are long gone. But the words defining this in our language remained, although they are used quite rarely. Let's get to know them better!

A tour of dictionaries

As always, to reveal the meaning of the word, turn to explanatory dictionaries... And they say that a womanizer is a seducer of women, red tape (who drags after them, that is, cares), is constantly looking for new love adventures, fickle in relationships with ladies. Synonyms for the word are the names "casanova", "don Juan", "reveler", "libertine", "heartthrob". Now a womanizer - this however comes from its own - the name of the hero of a work of art.

Ah, these sentimental romances!

In the first half of the 18th century, sentimentalism prevailed in Western literature. This direction was characterized by increased attention writer to psychological conditions a person, his emotional experiences, the world of feelings - "sentiments". Lovelace is the name of the protagonist of Richardson's moralizing sentimental novel, Clarissa, or The Story of a Young Lady. Young girl, a subtle, gentle, sensitive, romantic nature, becomes a victim of treacherous harassment and seduction of an intelligent, calculating, cynical, insidious aristocrat with the appearance of an angel. With the publication of the book, the name Lovelace took root in society. This word has become a common noun to refer to windy men striving for unobtrusive, promising love intrigues, flirting, and adventures.

The charm of villainy

Richardson's novel was a wild success not only among the English reading public. Its content was well known by the educated part of the population of Western and Eastern Europe, as well as the New World. In Russia, ladies read to them, dreaming of a fatal hero-lover. Pushkin in Eugene Onegin says that his Tatyana fell in love with "deceptions of both Richardson and Russo." The author of the work even lamented that his negative hero, a womanizer-man, is more popular than the virtuous and decent Clarissa. Critics of that time, like those of today, are unanimous in the opinion that Richardson's Lovelace is one of the most striking, original and interesting characters in English literature. This is an image of "Satan" in "the guise of a gentleman" - charming, witty, fearless, courageous and not knowing pity.

Having found out who the womanizer is, we will continue our research. From the pages of the novel, the name stepped into Big world and was taken up by other writers, already in the same 18th century, becoming a household name. However, having entered into widespread use, it is written in Russian somewhat differently than in the original language. The English have the correct surname - Lovelace, which means "love lace". That is, Richardson called the hero so for a reason, but with a hint of his ability to weave love intrigues, like craftswomen weave lace: gracefully, subtly, cunning, sophisticated. The Russian version arose, perhaps by analogy with the word "catch" - ladies' man. The appropriate synonyms were chosen for him: libertine, windy, Don Juan. But the same Pushkin, an excellent connoisseur of literature, possessing a subtle linguistic flair, used in Onegin correct shape surname - "Lovlas". And the Lovelaces are a very common surname among the British!

And I recognize the darling by ...

Our Russian literature also gave us wonderful examples of a heartthrob. Remember Onegin! He was a true genius of the "science of tender passion" - flirting and seduction. What Pushkin writes about this: from his youth, Eugene could "be hypocritical, seem languid, languish, disbelieve, make him believe", was "languidly silent" and "ardently eloquent." It didn’t cost Onegin anything to disturb the hearts of the “note-coquettes”, to fall in love with himself, and then, to use the current language, to “quit”. A man-womanizer - this is how today's youth would describe him. And it would be, in fact, right! Another wonderful example of heartbreaking is Pechorin from A Hero of Our Time. He played out the seduction of Princess Mary as if by music. Managed to fall in love with Bela. Vera has been a victim of his fickle character for many years. As the hero himself correctly noted, his feelings were not a source of happiness and joy for women, but disappointment and unfulfilled hopes.

Psychological picture

Let's try to deduce specific traits real womanizer. First of all, these are men who are completely confident in themselves, proactive, who know how to take everything under their control - from the first steps of seduction to the denouement of the novel. It is not difficult for them to take and meet a lady they like anywhere: in transport, in a cafe, on the street, in a company. And even if a woman is already married, or she has an admirer, it does not matter, this fact will not stop a real casanova. On the contrary, he will give the situation the sharpness and piquancy that this type of man needs so much. After all, ladies' men, rather, are not interested in the end result, but the process of "hunting" itself, the development of tactics and strategies and their stage-by-stage implementation. Naturally, such men are damn charming, courteous. Some are romantic and act accordingly. beautiful courtship, gifts, candlelight dinners - ladies' men themselves enjoy the intrigue they are leading. After all, they are often real esthetes! And play on gentle strings female soul for such people it is a real pleasure. Whether it is worth giving in to seducers depends on the ladies themselves. Want to vivid impressions, holiday today, but without the hope that it will last tomorrow, then the ladies' man is an ideal gentleman for you. Afraid of being left with a broken heart - stay away from it!

A real, warm spring is coming. The time when the number of lovers increases by 60%, harmonies play and push to crazy actions. Girls run to buy spring dresses, shoes and are ready to go in search of their beautiful princes. At the same time, ladies' men open the hunting season. They, in the minds of many, and especially themselves, are charming, excellent, confident, irresistible and charismatic men who break fragile women's hearts, in the strength of their ideality. However, what really lies behind this perfect picture?

Lovelace is a disease.

All irresistible heartthrobs will be perplexed by the fact that they are sick with such a psychological disease as intimophobia. It lies in the fact that the womanizer is afraid of long intimate relationships With one woman. Such Don Juans cannot be forced to settle on even the most charming and attractive girl, because the fundamental force that makes him change girls almost every week is fear. As soon as he realizes that he is beginning to depend on the girl, he runs away from her like a cowardly hare from a fox. Psychologists more often consider intimophobia as a character pathology caused by raising a single mother. The mother, by her unpredictable behavior, formed in her child a disbelief in the predictability of another person's behavior, so he does not trust anyone and tries not to depend on anyone. Psychiatrists consider intimophobia a consequence of some mental illness, in which there are emotional and volitional disorders.

Sissy.

Future intimophobes are often children who are brought up in a female environment without relying on male authority. In childhood, his mother praises and instills that without her he cannot do anything worthwhile. He is intimidated by his mother and in the future he is afraid to meet a woman who will also strive to control him. Moreover, these guys are very spoiled female attention mom's friends and girls from kindergarten... “Success, firstly, pampers and instills a sense of its exclusiveness and permissiveness; and secondly, the popular have to establish defensive bastions against overly persistent encroachments. Feeling like a game, the angel becomes furious, too, ”writes the famous psychologist Vladimir Levy.

Self-esteem at zero.

When we meet such a charming, well-groomed guy with a pleasant smile, it seems as if his self-esteem is very high and his self-confidence attracts many girls. In fact, ladies' men are self-confident, but not self-confident. Their self-esteem is low and therefore they need female attention in order to prove to themselves and others that they are excellent. If he does not conquer the girls, then his self-confidence will disappear, that is, this is already a disease almost on a physical level. live differently. More precisely, maybe, but then his life will completely lose its colors and he will simply withdraw into himself, therefore, in this case, ladies' men are simply in "sex addiction."

“Womanizer are emotionally immature individuals,” says psychologist Natalia BONDAREVA. - They are mostly insecure, their self-esteem is low, so they constantly need nurturing from women. On the other hand, women themselves are often to blame for the fact that men turn into womanizers. Excessive attention from the weak half of humanity generates popularity among women, and success, as you know, pampers and instills a sense of one's own exclusivity. The attitude of women towards ladies' men depends on how much they are offended by the behavior of loving men. So don't take the womanizer seriously. "

Love tragedy.

A prime example is the story of Casanova. His bride, whom he passionately loved and this feeling, according to him, carried through all his life, died of pneumonia. The blow was so strong that Casanova almost killed himself. After the transferred drama, the count gave himself a vow - never to marry and began to wind up exclusively free relationship with girls. Likewise, in our time, many guys, having experienced an emotional shock after a relationship with a girl they loved, try to escape from the problem, crossing out the possibility of long and Serious relationships with the girls, fearing to relive the tragedy again. And again they are ruled by fear, which speaks of the weakness of these people.

The baseness of the deed.

The most dangerous thing about ladies' men is that they choose kind, naive and unspoiled girls as their victims. They clearly understand that a girl with experience will immediately recognize them and will not let them close to her, and if she does, it’s just for fun, and not for feelings. And so they find this "angelic creature", tell her how they feel with her "like in a fairy tale, like in a dream," about how beautiful and irresistible she is, about how she turned his life upside down and took him heart. And this sweet, angelic creature, of course, believes and, of course, falls in love. She looks at the object of her love with angelic eyes and is already ready for the most insane acts for the sake of her “handsome prince”, and the prince enjoys this admiration, increases his self-esteem and lives for some time in the illusions of being in love, but this too quickly passes.

Let us recall Natasha Rostova and Anatol Kuragin from the work of Tolstoy "War and Peace". Kuragin "powdered" the naive girl's head with his love and simply ruined her life. It is difficult to overestimate the baseness of such an act. It is one thing when you meet with the same spoiled girls like you, and another thing when you break the life of a "clean" and "good" girl. Agree, there is a difference.

And yet we need them!

Lovelaces are needed by us, girls, and even very much! They are very gallant, respect every girl, are ready to give flowers and shower with compliments. good funds from depression. They will help the girl to get on her feet, make sure of her attractiveness and irresistibility. Babniki know female psychology very well, which is why they have such success and girls. So why not take advantage of this and make the ladies' man your friend who will help you sort out your problems? Real womanizers generally prefer the female social circle over the dry male circle. Lovelaces do not need to be taken seriously, but it is a pleasure to communicate with them! They are kind, pleasant, charismatic, so let them be your "dear friends"!

A sad future.

With hundreds of women, the ladies' man feels lonely and tries to forget himself in entertainment or those who are older at work. From 16 to 30 years old, womanizer is not such a terrible phenomenon, if it is just a period in life, but if by the age of 30 this period does not end, then psychologists strongly recommend contacting a psychiotric clinic. "Intimophobia" is dangerous because it makes a person out of mature age sit without families in full loneliness and depression. At the age of 40, both lovemaking and strength are already leaving, and such a womanizer will not conquer anyone and will be left with nothing.

Boys, guys and men, do not rush to call yourself ladies' men, attributing to yourself a disease! To be proud that you have a psychological disease, is it not entirely smart?

Girls' comments:

“These are guys / men (no a certain age) with an increased interest in girls. They meet with everyone and with no one at the same time, so very often they do not notice their true love and remain lonely in life. " (Alisa Milyakova)

“These are guys who cannot be in a permanent relationship, they demand variety. In principle, I am for permanent relationships, but I do not judge guys who run around girls. we live only once, if they like to spend their youth like that, then why not :) but we, girls, it is better not to mess with such. " (Anonymously)

“Unhappy, unlucky people in love and relationships, who once had their hearts broken” (Anonymous)

“If possible, I will answer like this:“ Everything is in the hands of the girl. If she is sensible, she will immediately understand the intentions and essence of the guy, and will not waste time on him. If not, it will burn itself, of course, but it will gain experience and, perhaps, having grown wiser, in the future will protect itself from being included in the list of some ladies' man called “My next for a week”. We all grow up and we all have an attraction to opposite sex... No need in broken hearts blame some guys. Modern girls often they themselves provoke them by their behavior to exacerbate natural instincts. ”(Diana Pashko)

“Narcissists, not respecting women. For them, only their satisfaction is important, and they don't give a damn about everything else. " (Dasha Lesnevskaya)

"Womanizers are prone to selfishness, there is no specific ideal, in the eternal search for a new girl. It's hard to fall in love with such a person, unless you can charm and surprise with something special." (Valeria Selezneva)

“These are extra nerves, they won't change anyway.” (Anonymous)

“It seems to me that these are the people who sincerely believe that there is nothing shameful in their behavior and that jumping from girl to girl is normal behavior of a“ real male. ” (Vlada Suleimanova).

"Proud, confident in themselves and in their irresistibility, very sociable but superficial, without particularly deep thoughts in their heads." (Valeria Pavluchuk)

"These are guys who don't care about girls' feelings, their opinions, they do everything for their own pleasure, very windy and frivolous." (Diana Spiridonova)

“In principle, they are always very similar: some manners, some forms of flirting, but despite this, girls most often fall in love with them, hoping that they are not like“ everyone else. ”(Anna Nemnyasova)