How to communicate with guys if I'm shy. It is possible to get rid of shyness. Causes of shyness in front of a guy
The feeling of shyness is inherent in every person. It is especially acute in the period of personality formation, when we begin to realize ourselves as part of one huge society, whose representatives have a clear gender division. In childhood, the relationship of the sexes does not bother us yet, in old age - already. Youth, no matter how beautiful it is, together with pink dreams and happy expectations, invariably plunges us into an abyss of fears and doubts caused by inexperience, leading to timidity, tightness and embarrassment.
Many girls are shy about guys for one reason or another, or several at once. To identify and eliminate the latter is what you need to do on the way to getting rid of your own fears. Look inside yourself and think about what embarrasses you the most when communicating with the guy you like: him or you?
If it is, then decide what it is about him that worries you so much. If you are afraid to communicate with a young man, then start learning to talk, mainly with strangers- on forums, in shops, in transport. If you are embarrassed that a guy can see your interest in him, learn to restrain your feelings and understand that there is nothing wrong with sympathy: when it is mutual, then the guy doesn’t care if you blush or turn pale; when not, then the young man is no less flattered that he evokes such a positive range of emotions in the girl.
There is an opinion that you can fall in love with a guy with just one wave of eyelashes, opening bottomless eyes shining with joy. Love reaches out to love, and if this does not happen, then what are you afraid of? This means that this is not your person, and it doesn’t matter if you blush, turn pale or even stutter. However, it is better to follow the purity of your speech. The same applies to appearance.
You can talk endlessly about the importance inner world, but the first impression of a person will still be formed by the “clothes”. Especially in a relationship between a guy and a girl. There's nothing to be done about it: most young people love with their eyes. On the one hand, this is bad, on the other hand, it’s good, because if a guy started a conversation with you, then everything in you suits him!
No matter how strange it may sound, but we give birth to a feeling of embarrassment in ourselves. Basically, when we are ashamed of ourselves - due to the fact that our breath is not quite fresh; due to the fact that we feel uncomfortable in a dress from last year, and not from the current collection; due to the fact that they did not have time to properly apply makeup before leaving the house; because of a couple extra pounds; because of ... There can be many reasons for our dissatisfaction with ourselves, but is it worth paying attention to all this if the meeting has already taken place?
Nothing prevents you from striving for perfection after you charm with your liveliness and spontaneity the one you like young man. That's when you can come off to the fullest: update your wardrobe, make new hairstyle, stop overeating at night with buns. In the meantime, you should focus on what is happening and try to give your best, while remaining yourself. Remember: the more you think about how to look better, the less time you have left for real action.
The feeling of confidence in communicating with a guy can be obtained by a little ... deceiving yourself. Imagine that you are not talking with a young man you are interested in, but with a brother, friend or a random passer-by. Do they scare you? So he shouldn't!
And, finally, it is worth mentioning the most important thing. Something that we always overlook for some reason! Guys can be shy too. In this respect, they are no different from us. Think about it: maybe while you modestly lower your eyes, the young man you like is desperately trying to find general theme for a conversation? Be bold. Help him with this!
A woman who goes on a date wants to be spontaneous and cheerful, to conquer a man with her open smile and sincere ease of communication. But often she begins to behave in a completely different way: she is shackled, lowers her eyes and cannot squeeze out words from herself. Can you be the master of your behavior? What are the causes of shyness and are there ways to overcome it? How to stop being shy when dealing with a status man?
Causes of stiffness
Upbringing. From childhood, girls are instilled with stereotypes of behavior that you need to be obedient and modest. Girls are told that in relations with young men one cannot show their interest in order to “value them more”. As a result, a constrained, clamped woman who cannot relax and be herself.
parent script. We subconsciously learn behavior from our mothers, including in relationships with men. Mothers who created families in the USSR rarely knew how to show their feminine warmth and openness. They tend to be stern and keep men at bay, and their daughters adopt this style of behavior.
Negative experience. can drag on for a long time as a negative trail, poisoning the present. It is hard for a woman to open up to a new man, having already experienced betrayal and pain once. If these moments are not worked out purposefully, they can harm your future for a long time.
Literary images. In books and movies, the characters of the main characters are often shown, allegedly conquering men's hearts. These are cold, closed, somewhere even arrogant ladies, behind whom there is a queue of admirers. Women try on these images for themselves, but in real life such behavior is more likely to scare a man away.
Women's images and clips
Subconsciously, a woman can choose an image for herself that is completely unsuitable for a date. This kind of behavior can't ignite potential partner, you will not show him your generous creative female energy.
The clamps that carry some images in them interfere with building. No wonder they can push a man away on the first date. I will list some of these behaviors, and imagine how you would react if your interlocutor behaved this way.
The Snow Queen with all her appearance she shows that she is a person of royal blood. She has an icy heart and no emotions, her head is proudly raised, her eyes are emotionless cold.
shy girl she is afraid to show her slightest interest in her partner, she lowers her eyes, tries not to cross her eyes, to be silent more and does not show any initiative in communication.
teacher knows everything best. She looks from above, makes comments, she has her own opinion on everything, which she will definitely tell her interlocutor from a smarter position.
Businesswoman always busy. She has no time to relax, she is all in business. Immediately makes it clear to the interlocutor that it is not a bastard of a shield, and you will not fool her. It is immediately clear that not the person who will be a soft wife behind the back of a loved one.
Your boyfriend deprives herself of femininity, she is the same as the representatives of the stronger sex. In such a woman there is no tenderness and affection, she has a masculine demeanor. She does not need to be taken care of and protected.
Vest who is always ready to support and substitute her shoulder. She attracts men only by the opportunity to take on the whole heap of them. negative thoughts. She has no time to care about her personal happiness, she is busy solving other people's problems.
How to stop being shy and become more open?
come up with new image . For example, it can be a pleasant heroine of your beloved in communication. Imagine that she is you, it may be easier for you to relax and have a pleasant casual conversation.
“Lose” the situation. If you are worried that you may be embarrassed at some moments, try to live them mentally in advance. you know your weak spots and you can think in advance of the way out of these situations.
Practice on friends. Chat with friends by talking about topics that you want to bring up in a conversation with a man. This will be a good workout before your date and you will “fill your hand”.
Create your comfort. If you have a cozy place where you feel relaxed enough, offer to meet there. In a familiar environment, you will behave more freely.
Talk to strangers. You must understand that communication is not scary. choose unknown men, which you are not very nice, but are in good mood. Approach them, start a conversation. For example, ask how to get to a place.
Communicate with the male environment. Train the skill of communication with those men that you have at work or in a common company, with neighbors, friends. Kindly ask for advice, make compliments, ask for opinions.
Dating rules
By adhering to certain behaviors, you can leave much more about yourself. pleasant impression than they could in a shackled, closed state. What needs to be done for this?
- Play with the man. Smile at your interlocutor - by this you show that you like him. Learn to behave gracefully and beautifully, move gracefully, radiate soft sexuality.
- Listen to what he says and ask clarifying questions - your attention shows respect and interest. Do not talk too much about yourself, be more interested in your partner.
- Create ease in relationships - always show a man all your positive emotions without hiding them. The partner should see your sociability, goodwill and cheerfulness.
- Go on dates more often - this is a great workout for stiffness. Even if you don’t really like a man by correspondence, you can meet in a cafe and chat, this is a great practice for the future.
And in order for all of the above to be sincere, set yourself main goal: most get great pleasure from your communication. Do not be afraid to disappoint him: this is not the only man all over the world. If you fail to please each other, there will be nothing to worry about: consider him as useful experience, as a step in your improvement as an interlocutor.
How to stop being shy. Useful video:
Practice, and over time you will definitely become a more sociable and interesting interlocutor, and I, Julia Lanske, are an expert in recruitment ideal partner for a relationship, I sincerely wish you this!
Young girls, just like boys, dream of finding their soul mate and building strong harmonious relationship. But for many of the fair sex, a serious obstacle arises on the path to personal happiness - their own shyness and inability to communicate with men. Girls who are not different often not only cannot take the initiative in communicating with a young man they like, but they don’t even know what to talk about with a guy if he started talking on his own.
Contrary to popular belief that modesty and shyness are virtues female character, this is not true. Of course, most men do not like overly assertive, arrogant and unrestrained girls, but guys can perceive the lady's excessive shyness and her fear of communicating as a lack of interest. Everything is good in moderation, therefore, in order to start a relationship with a young man she likes, a girl should get rid of shyness and learn how to be interesting guy and freely communicate with him on any topic. And despite the seeming difficulty of achieving this goal, it’s actually quite simple to stop being shy about guys and learn to be interesting to them. To do this, you just need to take three steps.
First step: getting rid of shyness in front of guys
The roots of shyness and shyness in relation to members of the opposite sex are always - namely, in those attitudes that caring mothers“beat into the heads” of their daughters. “Men like modest and impregnable women”, “ decent girl will never take the initiative first”, “modesty is the main female virtue” - these phrases must have been heard more than once in childhood by every woman suffering from excessive shyness in front of men.
Also, often the cause of shyness is the girl's lack of confidence in herself, namely, in her attractiveness and ability to interest another person. And in order to overcome shyness and understand how to stop being shy about guys, a girl needs to get rid of two main causes of her problem, namely, harmful attitudes and A, the following tips will help in this:
Step two: becoming an interesting and versatile person
Girls who suffer from excessive shyness think about one thing, but instead they should think about something else, namely, how to become an interesting person and love themselves. All people, both women and men, like those with whom you can spend time interestingly and productively, communicate at the most different topics and get something useful for yourself from communication (positive emotions, new knowledge, etc.).
Many guys like girls who are bright, diversified and have many interests and hobbies, as young people understand that you can have fun with such ladies, learn a lot of new things and find a lot of topics for conversation. And vice versa, girls whose only goal is to find a guy, as a rule, are rarely liked by men, since representatives of the stronger sex want to see an interesting and interesting side by side. developed girl that in the future she can become a reliable life partner, and not an infantile girl who constantly needs to be entertained.
Step three: understanding the intricacies of communication with the guys you like
To start a conversation with a guy you like, it is very important to find the right topic for the first conversation. And the biggest difficulty here is that it is difficult to come up with such a topic in advance, because at the time of communication will have to act according to the circumstances.
Therefore, having seen the object of her interest, the girl needs to assess the circumstances under which the meeting took place, and start a conversation based on them. For example, if you are already a familiar classmate, you can ask him to help you deal with the learning task, and if the meeting with the object of respiration took place on the street, ask some neutral question about the weather/schedule public transport and etc.
Another The proven method to start a conversation with a guy is to ask him for some help. Most men have subconscious level the desire to be a protector for women is laid down, so almost every guy will gladly agree to be a knight for a beautiful stranger. However, asking for help should not be overzealous, so as not to get directly opposite result. For example, if a girl asks a stranger to give advice on choosing a certain thing, take her home or lift a heavy bag on the bus, this will be accepted normally, but requests are beyond reasonable (help carry a heavy thing for 10 blocks, deal with a company of aggressive people, etc.) the guy is likely to reject.
Despite the fact that at the beginning of communication, each girl should act according to the situation, nevertheless There are several universal recommendations, using which you can start a conversation and convey to the guy your desire to continue communicating with him. These tips are:
If a girl manages to interest a guy, he will definitely invite her on a date. And on the first date, it is important for the fair sex to behave in such a way that it does not become the last, namely, to make good impression, correctly tell the guy about yourself, learn as much as possible about him and intrigue.
Understanding how to tell a guy about yourself and what to talk about with him on a first date is much easier than starting a conversation with a stranger you like, because the girl will have enough time to prepare and think over a future conversation. When telling a guy about yourself, it is important to present yourself to him as an interesting person. To do this, the girl needs to tell him about her interests and hobbies, mention something unusual and exciting that happened in her life, as well as in in general terms talk about your plans for the future. But it’s better not to tell a guy about problems, difficulties and quarrels with an ex-boyfriend / friends / relatives on a first date - a girl who likes to complain about life and whine about problems has a much lower chance of a guy to like her. And of course, on a first date, you need to not only think about what to talk about with a guy, but also remember that listening to a man is no less important than telling him about yourself and something interesting.
A new love always makes adjustments in a girl's life. All emotional and psychological processes are included in the work: the mood changes, there is a strong excitement when meeting a lover, and the heart stops.
But physiology often leads: either the girl blushes, then her voice trembles, then her palms sweat. This is the hardest thing to deal with - shyness and embarrassment. But let's try to change something so that you can behave more relaxedly.
Normal girl upbringing
In general, it's wonderful that you have such a reaction to a new lover, if it is without pathology. So you were given a normal, standard upbringing, like all girls in childhood. The phrase "Well, you're a girl!" sounded almost from the iron for any reason:
- you can’t rage, run, yell, jump and swear;
- do not play aggressive boyish games;
- it is ugly to be an upstart, a braggart, and an imaginary one.
"Humble, girl!" — that was the main focus. Here, the weak half of humanity has developed such a complex, or a reflex: to react to some unfeminine situation with embarrassment and redness of the cheeks.
Love is no exception. After all, it’s not customary for a girl to approach a guy in a nightclub herself with the words:
Young man, does your dad need a daughter-in-law?
Any attention from the insolent must be sort of rebuffed, even though he is a nice fellow. But if a dream guy “rolls up”, then why shouldn’t the girl reciprocate? This is the norm in education.
But it happens like this: even if at the first meeting you liked a guy, and you are not able to overcome shyness, then the devil knows from what depths of your soul a bad response is taken - inadvertently you can get rude to him yourself.
But such a reaction is a pathology, as in the article. From this article, you will find out why this happens to you, and you will find recommendations on what can be done about it. Your reaction is clear - it's just that you scared away your fear in this way: it's like killing a spider abruptly when it suddenly appears.
But your shyness without aggression can also be understood, apparently psychological trauma not so deep. This is written in the article. You are simply subconsciously afraid of love failures if an affair with this handsome man suddenly begins. And you still have little experience, or none at all.
Appearance comes first!
All failures and failures in women are often associated with uncertainty in their appearance. Even some little thing, hidden from the eyes of strangers, subconsciously infuriates you. And if this shortcoming begins to catch everyone's eye, then there is absolutely "extinguish the light."
It's not obligatory handicap, but just some kind of slovenliness in clothes, manicure, make-up. A good example is in the article - it talks about a simple puff on tights, which can shake a balanced psyche.
If you suddenly fell in love, accustom yourself to neatness. After all, if you start an affair and go on dates, then the first sex with the guy you meet can also come as a surprise. And if you are not sure about something, then you will be embarrassed like Bridget Jones with her huge underpants.
To be one step more confident, do not be afraid to change yourself, although not drastically. Dye your hair a tone lighter, experiment with the color of the varnish and the style of the clothes. Moreover, you yourself want your beloved to notice you in the crowd.
How to deal with traitorous physiology
All these reddenings, a surge of heat and trembling in your hands and voice instantly gives you a poor thing in love, who is embarrassed when communicating with her object of desire. Let's first think about how to get rid of these unpleasant things with the help of means:
Sweating. Here you can use antiperspirants that contain aluminum chloride. And carry dry wipes in your purse. And daily do hand baths with a weak solution of potassium permanganate. Hands are the first traitors: after all, you are even afraid to say hello to a guy, stretching out a sweaty palm for him to kiss his fingers.
Redness of the face. Too unpleasant symptom, but it is unpleasant only if the redness goes in spots, or the face acquires a dark brown color. In this case, in order not to blush at the sight of a guy, you will need tone cream or powder good quality. But if you have a cute blush, then it only paints an embarrassed face.
Trembling in hands and voice. This, too, can be literally hushed up. When talking, a simple chewing gum or candy cane helps. And yes, you have to take your hands. Take the advice of the protagonist from the movie: "Madame Maid":
To remove excess energy, I need a lightning rod - a simple paper clip, I hold it in my hands. All energy goes into the paper clip and only speech remains! And this speech is even and exciting. Some of the best speakers held a paperclip. Like Henry Kissinger.
Christopher Marshall
See how simple it is? To loosen up a little and overcome fear, you only need a napkin, chewing gum, powder and a paper clip. Everything fits in a bag, everything can be claimed. So it is much easier to deal with physiology than with psychology.
How to overcome yourself psychologically
There are women who are afraid of absolutely everything when they are next to their new boyfriend: they are embarrassed to eat in front of him (how am I going to chew in front of him?), laugh (what if he doesn’t like my facial expressions?), Yes, even looking at him is scary (suddenly he will read something in my eyes?).
This problem usually appears at the very beginning. Serious relationships when you sneak up on the denouement on the sly. But there is a way out of this problem:
If you hesitate to speak, listen more. In general, men are delighted with those women who listen carefully, there are few such girls. Answer only if you are asked. Feel free to admit that in some matters you are not strong - this is much better than being smart and getting into a mess. Remember the saying: "It's not a shame not to know - it's a shame not to want to know!". So let the man himself enlighten you in some of his knowledge.
Keep in mind that when you fall in love, the frontal lobe, which is responsible for logic, is slightly turned off. Therefore, for a woman in love, this process can be doubly delayed. If you notice your mistakes in behavior, and your lover also sees it, then it is better to translate everything into a joke and self-criticism. It will look more natural than putting yourself in a stupid position with a stone face.
Do not try to please by force, that is, to arouse casual interest in him, as if you had nothing to do with it. Well, that is, deliberately laughing out loud in the circle of girlfriends with him, appearing constantly where he is resting, writing in social networks on his photographs some nonsense supposedly from someone else. Sometimes, when there are "many" women, the effect can be reversed.
Any man is pleased with everything that happens naturally, men know how to feel the catch, although their intuition is less developed than that of women. Do not be afraid to show the guy that you are shy, it even touches.
If the guy is not a fool, he is experienced enough, and he perfectly understands female soul, then he has already “saw through” you for a long time, he just tactfully keeps silent about his guesses. And your attempts to be an iron lady with obvious mistakes seem funny to him.
How to overcome embarrassment at the first intimacy
As such, there will be no embarrassment if you have already been close in spirit for a long time. If your hygiene is in order, and you are not overgrown with complexes about appearance, then just turn off your brain when making love. Oh yes, just take care of contraceptives in advance.
But if you have any serious fears or psychological trauma in this regard, then the article will help you. By throwing all the past out of your head and setting yourself up for positive, you can quickly stop being shy about a guy, especially if he is gentle and delicate in bed.
Finally, an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You could have any man and have ideal relationship and would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to my problem.
Who said it's impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a PhD in Psychology, and her methodology has helped many girls to have perfect relationships and feel loved.
If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for our website visitors.
In this article we will talk about modesty, which spoils moments of intimacy with a man. So, the problem is "I'm shy during the process" and how to stop being shy about a man in bed.
After all, how: there are cute and sexy prudes, and there are prudes who behave like a gray mouse, even in bed.
Among hundreds of options, a man will choose not an overly modest and not too liberated girl, but a normal girl.
But everything is relative: what if he was offered to choose between two extremes - a very modest girl and a very cheeky one - what would happen?
And this is where it starts interesting thing: most men would really prefer more modest girls, but with the caveat that this modesty should not be in bed. because modest, stiff, inept behavior during intimacy on the part of the girl spoils the pleasure for both.
At the same time, do not forget that there is a certain percentage of men (due to their temperament or psychological reasons and problems), who, on the contrary, like both virgins and modest behavior in bed. But we, as always, will talk about the majority.
By the way, overly modest behavior in bed very often gives rise to a mistake, which we have already talked about:.
A pinched girl who is shy in bed is:
- a girl who is ashamed of her body. She does not agree to sex in the light, and if she agrees, then under the covers or asks the man not to look at her.
- a girl who constantly belittles her dignity. She constantly complains that she looks bad and, in response to compliments, denies her attractiveness and points out her shortcomings.
- a girl who, due to fear or embarrassment, not only does not know how to deal with male body, but also shy to ask a man what he likes. And even more embarrassed to change something in their behavior.
How to stop being shy in bed?
How not to be shy during intimacy? You'll have to work on yourself a little. Some with the head, some with the body. Someone - and that, and others. We work in 4 areas:
1. Stop pointing out your flaws
First you need to understand something. Never, NEVER point out your flaws to a man. Some girls know how to do it very competently and out of place, but the vast majority of girls achieve only that the man begins to really pay attention to these shortcomings, and the girl gradually loses attractiveness points in men's eyes.
If a girl constantly, over and over again, belittles herself and her attractiveness, a man will begin to think that he, apparently, was mistaken and in fact the girl is not as good as he thought.
Confidence in yourself and your body (even if this confidence is exaggerated) is better than derogatory conversations addressed to you and a plaintive eye.
And the purpose of this event is not only that a man does not start looking at you with different eyes one day, but also that by saying such things out loud during intimacy, you strengthen a bad habit and, as it were, "anchor", firmly tie the bed in your head and their shortcomings. Do not do like this.
And one more important advice: learn to trust your man . If he says that you are beautiful, accept it as an indisputable truth. If he says that you have a great figure, then it is so. If he says that he likes the way you do something - just believe it and try to enjoy the fact that you make a man happy.
2. Increase self-confidence through real actions
Now for the most common root of bed congestion: dissatisfaction with their appearance. On appearance, girls, you need to work if it does not suit you.
I'm not a fan of advice a la "love your body, no matter how it looks!". After listening to such advice, the girls in the body painfully try to make a revolution in their heads and fall in love with their jelly-like forms and folds of fat. Seriously? Does anyone seriously think this is the way out?
No. This is an unhealthy path, because it creates a semblance of cognitive dissonance in the head: the girl at the same time hates her fat, envying slim girls and trying to love him at the same time. Such things are harmful to the psyche.
A healthy path that will really bring results and self-confidence is to go in for sports and reconsider your diet or even lifestyle.
And so it is with everything: you don’t like fat - get rid of it, you don’t like yellow teeth - take care of them, you don’t like acne on your face - find the cause and get rid of it.
Yes, for this you need to work on yourself, and sometimes also spend money. But the goal is worth it.
Isn't it better to be confident because you really look good, and not because you told yourself fifty nights in a row, "I like my body, I love my body ..."?
But this is about fat, acne, yellow teeth, the smell of sweat and extra hair.
If you are worried about your features, which you yourself called shortcomings (“chest not big enough”, “legs not long enough”, “some kind of non-erotic nose” ...) - return to the advice “ trust your man ". If he says he likes it, then he likes it. Everything. We drive the resisting cockroaches out of the head.
3. Learning what we can't
Many girls are shy in bed for the simple reason that they don't know what to do with a man's body. It’s so… different, strange…
Girls. Once upon a time you didn't know how to cook. And the ability to cook did not come down to your head by itself. You have studied. At first, most likely, it didn’t work out very well, but then you will lick your fingers.
And whatever you took from ordinary life skills, you learned it. So, you can also learn competent (roaring) behavior in bed. And this SHOULD be learned, because in itself such a skill goes down in the heads of few people.
There may be a delusion in your head that all the girls in the world can do this, but you alone can’t. Only this is not so at all) You would know how many men complain about the tightness of their girls ... You would know how many betrayals happen for the simple reason that everything is too lean, awkward, clumsy in bed, that there is no pleasure ...
And here it is important to understand one simple thing. Self-confidence in any situation is not something that is either given or not given to a person. Self-confidence is easy understanding that you are doing well in a particular situation .
And this understanding (read confidence) comes when you have a very successful experience in certain situation. So it is with the “bed situation”: if you see once that you manage to give a man real pleasure without crookedness, the second time you see the same thing, then confidence in yourself and in the correctness of your actions will INEVITABLY come.
How to understand what is right?
“But how can I understand what actions are right, I don’t know anything and can’t?” - you ask. And there are two ways to understand what actions are exactly right.
- The first way - path of personal experimentation (long) is when you yourself gradually begin to invent something and do something that you have not done before, constantly asking a man feedback.
- The second way is a way of learning from those who know what is right (fast and most effective) is when you go through training and gradually build it into your intimate life new knowledge and skills.
Therefore, as for not knowing how to behave with a man in bed and what you need to do there, everything is simple here: firstly, you need to read books / watch relevant films / undergo concentrated training, and secondly, transfer knowledge in his bed, at the same time asking the man if he likes it.
There is nothing wrong with that, a man will gladly give you feedback. And you will want to deliver even more pleasure for these efforts)
Start small, and your experience and skills in bed will grow like a snowball) And after a few comprehensively successful (non-disappointing) times, you will see how much happier your man has become, how much more you like the process yourself and how incomparably more confident you are become.
Knowledge of this kind will not fall into your head on its own. How many books have you studied on this topic? None? And there are hundreds and hundreds of them, just to get rid of tightness, to develop the ability to enjoy yourself and your man. Just choose the one, what seems interesting, and start exploring - on your own or with a partner!
During my marriage, I took as many as three courses on intimate interactions and read several books. Well, if you can call it "read", there are more pictures))
The first time is somehow awkward, yes, but then you get really involved, and you are already looking forward to trying new tricks (although after each training you think, “Well, now I know everything!”)
Well, as you understand, we have absolute zero insecurity and embarrassment in bed now. Although at first it, of course, was present on my part. Therefore - do not reinvent the wheel, learn from those who already know how, practice - and the embarrassment will quickly go away.
And if you understand that you feel embarrassed not only in bed and you don’t feel sexy in principle, start with a master class How to wake up the beautiful woman in you.
4. We solve psychological problems
It should be added that sometimes embarrassment in bed is not due to self-doubt, but because of a deep fear and others. psychological problems coming from behind negative experience in the past. Moreover, although not the majority, but a solid percentage of girls have such problems.
One article, these problems can not be solved, unfortunately. But it is necessary to solve them, otherwise you will suffer all your life. And deal with a competent professional.
Therefore, if you feel that you are not embarrassed about your body, and you seem to know how to do everything, but some abomination in your head does not allow you to relax and still this feeling remains “I am shy during intimacy” - contact the help of a good psychologist.
Having spoken and worked through that blackness from the past that does not allow you to feel safe and turn off your head, you will become much happier and learn to enjoy not only in bed, but in life in general.
If you didn’t have any tin in the past (no one bothered, your parents filed good example...), and your self-doubt comes from a banal teenage past (she was not a popular girl, the boys did not pay attention, someone laughed ...), then you can do without psychologists.