What to write to a guy in VK. Pleasant words to a guy: how to melt a man's heart? If he's just a friend

14.05.2019

In our world information technologies no one will be surprised by virtual communication. Websites, blogs, chats, forums - all this has become an integral part of every modern person, especially young people. Sometimes it happens that the “same” guy is very far away - therefore, in order to confess feelings, you have to refine yourself and figure out what to write to your beloved in order to let him understand how much he is important and needed.

Why doesn't the guy write?

Young people who have recently met do not always show attention at the proper level.

This may happen due to such factors:

Doesn't consider it necessary
The guy thinks it's okay. There are people who are not used to writing a lot. They store their emotions for real life. Therefore, he needs to gradually make it clear that you are pleased when he writes.
Got carried away with something
The guy can immerse himself in work. Or maybe he has a hobby. Can go to relatives. Or he has problems. Therefore, he is in trouble. Then you should write to him first. The main thing is not to get bored. Guys love freedom, and any serious encroachment on it is not welcome.
Guy interested in another girl
Also a logical explanation. And that is the first thing that comes to mind when you are jealous. Yes, that explains why the guy is acting so passive towards you. But in order to be sure, it is better to ask directly why he does not write. Why beat yourself up and suffer.
Plays on the computer
Oh those gamers. They can destroy enemy tanks and planes for days. And carried away by the game, they can forget about the most important thing, about love for you. Then you should try very hard and pull this adult child out of virtual life by the ears. Or create your own account in the game, and bomb it.
The guy is manipulating
He watches your reaction. Wants to play with feelings. Or he wants to make you jealous. And he checks you on how you will react to his similar inaction. In this case, it is best to write first and ask why he behaves this way.

Should I write first?

Harmonious Relations between a man and a woman are built in such a way that a woman remains a mystery to a man all the time. A man receives a goal, he is inspired.

The man makes every effort, approaches, receives a sweet kiss, but the woman again easily slips out of the embrace, leaving her conqueror with only aroma, purpose and inspiration.

Important! If there is a goal, there is mobilization, if there is no goal, then there is no energy, because doing something just like that, half-heartedly, is internally incomprehensible for men. When a husband lies on the couch and watches TV, does he have a goal?

If a girl runs not from a man, but towards him, then at first it can give joy to both. But after a while, the man begins to lose his strength, since he has nowhere to strive, his inner spring relaxes. There is no need to be attentive to a woman anymore, since she is already going to a meeting. Of course, a woman in such a relationship also feels unhappy.

If the girl writes first, it means that she is the one who starts the relationship. It turns out already at the very beginning the initiative does not come from a man. Even at an unconscious level, this can be delayed in him, and lead to all the consequences described above.

Therefore, it is better if it is the male half that takes the initiative. Allow yourself to be a woman, and a man to conquer you. At the same time, those women and girls who have begun relationships with their loved ones at the initiative of the weaker sex should not be upset.
But still, each girl should decide whether to write to the guy first on her own. The main thing is that before such an action everything should be thought out in detail and not lead to negative consequences.

How to strike up a conversation

virtual communication- this is the "horse" of modern youth. It is gradually replacing the classic acquaintance on the street, in cafes, in public transport. Of course, now it’s not so scary if they refuse the offer of acquaintance, because no one has seen you live. That's what's good. Fear is lost, and, as a result, many psychological barriers are erased. But you do not need to go beyond the reasonable if you want to continue dating.

There are several rules on how to start a dialogue on the network.

Most importantly, don't be afraid to text him first. This is not the case when the initiative is punishable. Do not forget that guys are the same people, with their complexes and fears. Most young people will gladly respond to a message if they are interested in this message.
You don't have to write too much information all at once, from the first time you fell off your bike to your last failed romance. This is a deliberately false step that will scare away a potential gentleman from you. Write a simple and unpretentious phrase, such as: “Hi. How are you?". Men are straightforward creatures and love clarity, clarity, conciseness.
Empty chatter strains and irritates them. So, to start communication, one letter is enough. Wait for an answer. If it does not follow, then you should not insist and write: “Where are you?”, “Where did you go?”, “Why don’t you answer?”. Don't be too intrusive. After all, the first impression is the most important. If you demonstrate complete absence pride and pride, then the interlocutor will not have interest in you.
When you get an answer, in the next message, ask about interests and hobbies, so that later you can use the information received wisely. After all, guys are very proud, they like it when they are interested. In the future, too, do not rush to talk about yourself. Focus on the topic that (as you have already found out) the young man will definitely like.
Watch your speech, do not distort words, do not stupid mistakes. Nothing so repels the interlocutor at the first stages of acquaintance as a complete lack of literacy. Even if the guy himself does not shine with her, show him how smart you are. This will give you respect.
Important role in any communication, especially strangers, plays positive. Who wants to hang out with an eternal whiner? Therefore, tell only good things about yourself and share only good news.
Be tactful. No need to ask in the first letters about financial situation interlocutor or about him personal life. You are just beginning to get to know each other, and these areas at this stage do not concern you at all. Otherwise, it will give the impression that you are unceremoniously climbing into someone else's wallet and soul. Your pleasant conversation should remain just a conversation, and not turn into an interrogation with passion.
Try to do without tenderness. You still don't know the guy well enough to come up with pet names that are so popular among lovers.

Now that you have already sufficiently consolidated your “positions”, you can safely proceed to a story about yourself. But it should not be long and boring. It's best to just answer the other person's questions. Thus, you will create some mystery around your person, and the guy will definitely want to get to know you better, which means that now, most likely, he will be the initiator of further communication.

How to fall in love by text

This idea is sure to raise many objections. Of course, personal communication and direct contact cannot be replaced by anything, including correspondence, but we are not talking about this. Correspondence is a completely different kind of relationship, with its own rules, pros and cons, prospects and most likely endings.

The reasons why such relationships are quite popular lie in their benefits, for example:

The guy himself can make up the image of the girl in his mind. After all, it consists not only of facial features and hair color, but also of many other nuances. Behavior, intonation, gestures, facial expressions - everything that accompanies the dialogue in ordinary life, in virtual space becomes a product of the imagination.
The guy himself is able to imagine himself the way he would like, but perhaps he never managed to be. And for him, sometimes it doesn’t even matter whether his idea coincides with what his pen pal “sees”. He also draws his image in fantasies, like hers. And he really likes the feeling that he gets at the same time.
Stiffness disappears, complexes, if any, no longer interfere with building a dialogue. No need to blush, be embarrassed, curse an awkward silence. You don’t need to monitor your emotions and facial expressions either. It is enough to express thoughts in the text.
The proverb “The word is not a sparrow” is also not very appropriate here. The written text can always be reviewed, rethought, corrected, looked at from the outside and only then sent to the interlocutor. Therefore, in a pen pal relationship, it is quite rare to regret what was said, unless it was said in anger.
As for anger, irritation and other negative emotions, so often interfering in personal relationships, then here it is quite possible to have time to restrain them before answering, taking, for example, a short pause. And this is also a clear plus.
Correspondence relationships practically do not require any costs, except for time. But who would spare time for pleasure? No need to change habits, daily routine, go somewhere, think about your appearance, plan an evening program. Even from a real relationship with someone, if any, you can not refuse, because they do not interfere with each other.

And this is not all the advantages. Of course, there are also disadvantages, in particular, correspondence cannot satisfy the need for real feelings of intimacy with a loved one, but it doesn’t interfere with them. Again, if a pen pal turns out to be that ideal “fairy from dreams”, then you can already think about ways to transfer remote relationships to a different, more real plane.

In order for a relationship to start, first of all, the guy needs to be interested. Do not forget that you only have text at your disposal, which means that you need to rely on more effective ways, given to you by nature, is not necessary.

When composing your messages, rely on a few useful tips:

Write well and clearly
Excuses like "we're not in a Russian class" are completely inappropriate here, at least if you want to leave a good impression of yourself. There is a separate category of people who are ready to fall in love only because a person scrupulously places all the commas in a sentence and never confuses -tsya and -tsya. But seriously, a text full of errors creates a repulsive impression on the vast majority of people. The word is your only weapon, so don't dull it. Write in simple terms but smartly.
Use every opportunity to give the text the necessary intonation
First of all, these are various emoticons, if necessary, explanations in brackets, for example, “sarcasm” or “joke”. A person reading a message may put the wrong meaning into it, consider it aggressive, arrogant, etc. As a result, misunderstandings will arise. This possibility must always be taken into account.
Don't pause too long
Especially at the very beginning of communication, until you are so accustomed to each other to correctly understand the meaning of this technique. Otherwise, your interlocutor will become bored and lose interest in such a dialogue. You can afford a pause only if you are sure that interest in you already exists and it is quite stable.
Analyze your messages for their effectiveness
In other words, messages should evoke some kind of emotion in the interlocutor. It is necessary to make every effort to make these emotions turn out to be positive. These include joy, pleasant surprise, interest, flattered pride, tenderness, attraction, gratitude, etc. Avoid texts that cause fatigue, longing, irritation, sadness, resentment.
Remember that your messages will be re-read, perhaps more than once.
So be careful when touching serious topics or feelings. Weigh each word so that later in the sentence some wrong meaning is not revealed. Avoid vulgarity and vulgarity. Vulgarity spoken aloud can be smoothed over, replaced by other emotions, and eventually forgotten. But written and re-read many times, it will certainly be deposited in the memory.
Don't end the conversation in a hurry
Always try to choose phrases that emphasize your gentle and warm attitude so that the dialogue leaves a pleasant aftertaste. A person must want to return to him again.

How to confess feelings

The transition from the stage of interest to the stage of dependence, and from it to the stage of falling in love, is easier than establishing a productive dialogue at the very beginning of a relationship.

A guy who often thinks about a girl, whose image he created for himself in many ways, is subconsciously ready to fall in love with her. At first, he hurries to immerse himself in communication with her, then for a long time he scrolls through everything that has been said in his thoughts, re-experiencing those pleasant emotions, which he experienced while talking with her, and now he mentally lives in his fantasies, where a girl, a pen pal, - main character.

This is where you need to add passion to your posts. You can prepare a guy for the climax of the relationship with phrases such as:

“You have become truly dear to me”;
“I can’t understand how I managed to do without communicating with you before”;
“I noticed that all other events and emotions that exist in real life are not as sharp as those that I experience when communicating with you”;
"I don't understand how this happened, but I need you."

Do not skimp on flattery, but serve it gracefully. Say that in all your life you have never met a person with whom it is so interesting to communicate, who would understand you so much.

Say that it combines all the qualities that you value in men - a sharp mind, tenderness, a strong character, adherence to principles, kindness, courage, that you are practically in despair that the man of your dreams is not around - in real life. Hint that your dreams and views are very similar, and if he was around now, you would be happy to help bring them to life.

Important! Hints should be as transparent as possible, as men tend not to understand beautifully veiled thoughts.

What not to write guys

Most of the time, girls mess things up. A thoughtless phrase can become a bold point even in the most romantic relationship. To avoid parting and definitely not fall in the eyes of the object of sighing, you must categorically avoid the following phrases:

“What a wonderful car in the photo - is it yours? And how much do you earn? Maybe you can give me the same? You don't want to seem too mercantile, do you?
“Who is the girl in the photo? Are you sleeping with her? What about her friend? And that brunette in a leather miniskirt that you posted on Instagram yesterday, is that your sister?” - maniacally jealous girls look unattractive in the eyes of normal guys.
“Wow, what a slender handsome man in the photo next to you! Can you text me his number or introduce us somehow by chance? Do you still have beautiful friends? - perhaps the most unattractive version of the conversation. Men are very jealous, and you are also asking for an acquaintance with strangers. This will hurt the guy’s self-esteem very much, and he will take out his anger on you during further communication.
“How about tomorrow to come to my house with a bottle of wine? I bought myself some new underwear, do you want to check it out?” - you run the risk of being branded available girl. And such men are appreciated, but only until the moment of satisfaction of passion.

Almost all of us have our own page on social networks. And certainly each of us fell in love “at first sight” with an unknown (or even famous) “avatar” of a handsome young man.

And when we no longer have the strength to remain silent about our sympathy, we begin to think about getting to know him. How to do everything right and turn his gaze to himself, his beloved? Let's, together with the online magazine "Korolevnam.ru", consider a "capture plan" how to please a pen pal.

Flirt or serious relationship?

To begin with, it is still worth deciding for what purpose you are going to get to know him. Friendship? Sex? Love?

The first option is definitely out of the question. Any psychologically normal girl is unlikely to “hang” around the clock over a guy’s account in order to make a pen pal. Most likely, you can cope with such a task without the advice of wise psychologists.

For the second option, special intricacies in behavior are not required: a frank “avatar”, an appropriate status and - you're done! In this case, the right contingent will find you.

But what if this guy is your dream? And you really want, at least, to please him by correspondence, and as a maximum, to fall in love with him?

If the situation is familiar “painfully”, then you should not despair in this case. It's better to take yourself and the situation into your beautiful well-groomed hands and start taking action. So, how to please a pen pal on VK (Vkontakte) or any other social network?

Step 1: Gather information about him

For the very first action, a lot of wisdom is not required - just carefully study "His" account. If it seems to you that it is impossible to recognize a person by his “page”, then you are mistaken.

Psychologists have officially proven that a page on social networks gives out 82% of information about a person.

And here we are not talking about the information that is stated “in fact”: place of work, education, number of brothers and sisters, date of birth and address of residence. No, of course, this is also important.

You can quickly use this information for personal purposes, but do not forget that you can easily come up with the “underground” for yourself. Whether this factual information is correct, you can only check in the course of communication.

There are other, more informative points. Experts in various fields call them hidden, or "latent". Pay attention to how full the columns of factual information are: did the guy leave marks in all the columns? Or are some completely missing?

Or did the young man leave humorous comments at some point? A whole field for thought, isn't it? Empty / missing columns indicate the guy's secrecy, or his desire to keep silent about something.

Joking sayings testify to the same. Although it is possible that the guy has a great sense of humor. If the columns, on the contrary, are overloaded with information, then be careful: either the guy is too talkative, or he is trying to draw attention to his person.

Step #2: Looking at his photos

Be sure to look at his photos: you can draw certain conclusions for yourself. Photos usually clearly demonstrate how many friends a guy has, what he does and where he is used to spending his leisure time.

Pay attention to how many of his personal photos, where he is the only one in the frame, and what plan are these frames?

If the album is just full of his narcissistic "selfies" / torso / hairstyle, think about it, do you even need this type?

Step number 3: we study its "wall"

Feeling like Sherlock Holmes already? Further more. Take a look at the whole page: his statuses, "posts", music. To be honest, if his music doesn't match your spirit, it's not scary at all.

Worse, if you notice curses that are unacceptable to you, different kind"obscene" and "flood" on the "wall" with the participation a large number girls. It is unlikely that a guy will refuse obscenities in communication with you, and certainly will not deprive himself of additional female attention.

If you are not ready for such a turn of events, then feel free to close his account and look for a more worthy interlocutor.

On the "wall" you can also see the real scope of the young man's activities and hobbies: professional statuses and jokes, images of cars, bicycles, animals, as well as screenshots of online / video games.

The latter, by the way, do not always indicate avid gamers. Under them, a burnt “IT specialist” may also be hiding.

Animals most often testify to the kindness and possible sentimentality of a guy. A young man who has home pet, most often turns out to be more responsible and kind in real life.

Well, all sorts of vehicles and smart jokes usually demonstrate his light, but dynamic character. Ready to drive? Then this is definitely your option.

Step #5: clean up your page

You have thoroughly studied the guy's page and now you are a little aware of what he is like. Well, now it's time to take care of your account.

Do you understand that the young man you are interested in will definitely look through your page during correspondence? And he will get the same 82% of information about you.

Make sure there is no unnecessary information on the page. The page should not scream that you are in active search, in painful mental anguish or passionately dreaming of seven charming little ones.

In 99 cases out of 100, this scares men away. He will think 18 times whether to answer you at all, and how safe it will be to send you a “hello” in return.

Maybe you will immediately begin to “load” him with failed relationships, or even build an insidious plan to capture his living space and a cat? Or maybe you are generally a malicious "spammer" collecting donations to the endangered sickle-winged unicorn fund?

Remove "vanilla" statements and statuses. If you don’t know what to write so smart and creative, it’s better not to write anything at all.

In this way, you will be able to avoid initially biased attitude towards yourself and ridicule from a potential fan.

Step #5: Down with materialism

There is no place on your wall for images of huge bouquets and diamond necklaces with the inscription “excellent gifts”, unless, of course, you are going to correspond with Roman Abramovich.

The logic of the guys is very different from ours. Psychologists say that in this case the guy subconscious level will make a negative conclusion about you for himself: in his eyes you will simply turn out to be a mercantile bitch.

Better fill up the wall delicious recipes, images of nature and geographical places where you would like to or have already visited. Photos of cars or any other things that are present on the page of the desired object will do.

Experts assure that the mirror image of the page of the chosen one is great way get his attention.

He will literally immediately understand that you have a lot in common.

Step 6: Choose Photos

What you will read below is extremely banal, but very important. It's about your photos. Be sure to take a selection of photos. Ruthlessly delete photos with good backgrounds but bad looks.

By the way, it is better to carry out such a “cleansing” with a good girlfriend or friend: often photos that we personally don’t like, others like, and vice versa. An unbiased opinion is important.

Get rid of numerous "selfies" and "ducks". Such photographs, unfortunately, do not present you in a highly intellectual light. You can generally create an album specifically for this guy, and impose privacy settings on the rest.

It’s not at all necessary for a guy to see you “cheerful” in the sauna with hot girlfriends. What if his girlfriends are more interested in him?

Step 7: Be proactive

Now you are completely ready to start the correspondence. Gain courage, breathe in more air - and into battle! Many girls are driven into a stupor by the question: what to write in order to please a guy?

Just don't start your fight with mundane "Hello how are you", "hellolet's get acquainted" "hello cool". Well, it's trite, isn't it? Remind yourself when you receive something like this. Are you excited and ready for instant communication? Hardly.

Consider your appeal. It is very important for you to start a dialogue, to provoke him into a response.

Here are good examples of what you can write to a guy. You can write something like “You have such a cool smile that I couldn’t resist. Smile for me, please!" or “Listen, you remind me of one Hollywood actor…”.

If you know what a young man is interested in, then you can take a chance and write: "Hey! I am looking for a companion for horseback riding / karting. Will you form a company? or "Good afternoon! You were recommended to me as an excellent computer engineer / photographer / motorist. Can you please help me understand the program / choose a camera / understand how a linear four-cylinder turbo engine works?

Unsure how to contact a guy? You or you? If a man is younger than or about the same age as you, or if you are a little familiar, then it is quite possible to refer to “you”. If he is much older, or if you are addressing him with a specific request, and at the same time you are not familiar, then it is better to use "you".

By the way, the appeal to "you" - a win-win anyway. You kill two birds with one stone: you position yourself as a well-bred young lady and 100% attract attention.

You don't want to be denied, do you? Better create affirmative forms: “you will agree that ...”, “am I right, right?”

Step 8: smile and wave

Most likely, the young man has already answered your first message. Now it is important to keep his attention. Do not doubt that he has already "scrambled" your account. But you have nothing to be afraid of: you managed to “clean” the *acute* page in time

Continue the conversation in the chosen direction. Don't forget about emoticons or, in simple terms, "emoticons". Yes, yes, we are expanding our lexicon- you need to surprise the guy with something, so why not start it right now?

Such uncomplicated graphic symbols will help you avoid tension in the conversation, awkward pauses, and bring the conversation into a relaxed direction.

Step number 9: we check literacy

Of course, literacy in correspondence is far from the last thing. In any case, when sending the first two or three messages. If you don’t know how a particular word is spelled, then either “google” this word or check it in Word. Or even replace it with a simpler synonym.

At the same time, follow the guy’s messages: how well does he write? What if you, a highly educated intellectual, have a desire to hit him with a spelling dictionary? And that's it, write lost all interest in the gentleman ...

And if the erudite aesthete of the two of you is he? In this case, both of you will have to look for an alternative language of communication: someone will have to sign up for English courses, or look for an Esperanto teacher, or even come up with an alphabet of characters to avoid grammatical and spelling misunderstandings. Or say goodbye to the object of attention due to philological differences.

But if you don’t have special claims to your chosen one regarding education, and you can easily put up with spelling “aships”, then your relationship has a chance.

You can also relax if the man is not particularly brilliant with knowledge of the Russian language. In the end, philological aspects are not the most important things in a couple's life. If both of you are satisfied with the level of literacy at which you communicate, you can safely forget about social rules.

Step number 10: captivate

It’s great if you have the same interests, and you have a heated discussion. And if, after the second message, the conversation fell into a "logical stupor"? For example, if the young man declined to make any comments?

Then you urgently need to interest him. Preferably in relation to his hobbies. Tell him that sales of the super-mega-popular Audi TT Coupe will start in September 2016, or start a dispute regarding a robotic dual-clutch transmission.

Or even tell that in the mountains of Turkey you can climb a new route and at the same time have a good rest on the sea. How are you? Well, in extreme cases, we can talk about the overpopulation of Central Asia by gophers ...

Step 11: Don't Intrude

If you want to meet a VKontakte guy, it is very important not to impose yourself on him. Let's say everything goes well, you managed to persuade him to invest in a fund of endangered sickle-winged unicorns, and then he - hop! - And disappears ... At the same time, he is constantly "online".

Perhaps he is just busy, and there is no point in getting depressed amid an hour of silence? Obsession - worst friend in such delicate matter. Like whining for an unfinished life.

If the guy is silent for several days, try not to text him either. Find the strength to devote time to something else. For example, tidy up the apartment: if you sit at the monitor for days, you may not notice " wool carpet» on desktop...

Or go somewhere with friends. For example, to the geographical center of your region. At worst, pretend to be insanely busy and post interesting and unusual photos from your leisure.

Most likely, the young man will be the first to ask where you were and what you did, and if not, then write to him yourself.

Find out what he was so busy with. And just continue with him, as if nothing had happened, correspondence.

Step 12: Kidding

Yes Yes! We continue the correspondence in an unobtrusive and easy way. Without interrogations with passion and other female things. It's important to keep a sense of humor. Joke with him!

Try to always get out of a predicament with a joke. This way you will avoid quarrels and omissions.

You will show your easy nature and excellent communication skills. Do you also like to deal with a cheerful and inoffensive person?

Take an interest in his opinion, consult with him. Men are always pleased to be a wise adviser. And don't forget to praise him! He will simply melt when he realizes what delights you.

After a few compliments, you won't even have to text him first! Write to him that the advice on choosing a camera was extremely useful to you, or that the service could not figure out your car until he advised you to see if the rear spoiler was screwed on well, or, finally, that the unicorns would not have survived without his participation.

According to statistics, 97% of men are susceptible to flattery.

We hope that you did not manage to fall in love with one of the remaining three percent?

Step 14: Stay Polite

Always say "Thank you" to him. Magic word that does real miracles.

And in general, such a gesture provokes mutual politeness. And it's always nice. Both.

Step #15: Implement Virtuality

Of course, you can correspond with the object in this way until old age. But if you are serious, and the guy is happy to keep up the conversation, then there is no doubt: everything is mutual. And you can safely make an appointment. Here is a recent article from our magazine that will help you: .

Invite him somewhere. For example, take a walk in the park, or have a cup of tea. fragrant coffee in cozy place. The only advice: let it be neutral territory.

Remember, your safety is paramount, and the Internet is not a society of excellent book lovers. Just in case, leave your / his coordinates / location to your best friend / friend.

Well, our article will help prepare for your upcoming date:.

Of course, I would not want to spoil the impression with some unpleasant incident. But, you see, "forewarned is forearmed."

School of Yuri Okunev

Good day, lovely ladies! How do you look at starting to get acquainted with the guys you like yourself? After all, they are often so shy, indecisive and slow that it is not easy to wait for at least some concrete steps. What? Do not know what you can write to a guy like that to interest him? Well, then I propose to consider a few simple and effective options that will definitely attract attention to you and encourage the young man to communicate.

Speaking in general, it is better to write either on abstract topics (music and cinema, weather, city news, etc.), or on those that are interesting or at least somehow close to your chosen one (for example, computer game, study, work, sport, mutual friends and acquaintances, etc.).

At first, give up too personal topics (this is, in particular, health, finances, family relationships, former partners), as well as discussions in the key of religion and politics. Here it is very easy to touch on some embarrassing or even painful nuances for him, making communication with you not very pleasant in an instant. Well, women's questions in the spirit of “I bought myself such a mask - my hair is soft and silky after it”, of course, he will not be impressed either.

Humor, a friendly attitude and a combination of playful coquetry with a bit of charming girlish timidity are very welcome (no one likes arrogant and too assertive).

If you want to write to a friend

Now let's talk about how to text a guy first if you already know him. In such a situation, it is not so difficult to get a young person to communicate, because you can always find a reason to contact him.

Some common things, interests, acquaintances.

For example, it may be a discussion of a university professor who taught economics for him last year, and this semester he will also teach for you. Or a concert of a band you both love, a ticket for which you want to get: “Have you already bought it? Can you help me order online? Let's go together!" Party with friends: “I don’t know what to give Pasha for DR, can you help me choose something cool?”

By the way, if some common points are not observed, then they can easily be created artificially. Is he an experienced World of Tanks tanker? Haven't you dreamed of just learning how to play it? Not? Well, so urgently need to start dreaming and tell him about it. He is fond of photography, and do you have a DSLR in your closet? Feel free to ask for help with setting up a tricky device, even if you did not plan to use manual modes in the near future.

Help that requires male participation.

It is quite natural for women to ask men for assistance in resolving some issues. Moreover, in the closest environment, there is not always a person to whom one can turn on such a case. So in such cases, you have to go to various acquaintances.

This is how you motivate, turning to the guy you like with a request to listen to your engine, look at the computer, help choose a sweater for your brother, fix the wheel on the bike, take you across the road. Just do not forget to ask if he has free time.

Well, the assistant hero, of course, will be given a prize in the form of a piece of homemade cake and fragrant coffee.

If you need to write to a stranger

Here you still have to think a little longer about what to write to the guy so that he answers. Especially when it comes to SMS. Although men are flattered by the attention of young ladies, unknown girl, which decided to take the first step, still causes surprise and even embarrassment among domestic playboys. Therefore, the main thing here is not to frighten off a potential gentleman.

invent any objective reason, which would serve as a connecting thread.

The easiest way to rely on his skills, interests. For example, if you know that he works at a service station, then you can say that he was advised to you as good master. Ask to see your car. Does he go to the same gym as you? Like his photo on the page (they say, they walked through the pages of acquaintances and came across him) of a fit handsome man, and then ask if you could not see him in the hall. Could? Crazy, what a "coincidence"!

Having hooked on a topic, gradually develop the conversation. Joke, ask questions, tell a little about yourself. And there you can safely ask to be friends in order to chat some more later. In a couple of days or a week you can write something else, leave a comment, like. Well, and there gradually increase the frequency of online meetings.

If the correspondence was conducted by phone, then it makes sense after a while to apply with some new request or question in the vein of the previous communication.

Directly write that you want to meet and chat.

Be honest about where you saw him and why you liked him so much. Say that you have never written to strangers like this before and that you are very embarrassed, but still decided to take a chance. Put a funny emoticon and wait for a response. If the guy does not answer or directly says that he is not ready to communicate with you (after all, he may have a wife with three children), then do not insist on the opposite. It will be too much.

In general, when communicating with men, always keep a distance. In no case should you be imposed, you are a girl after all! If a young man refuses you for some reason, then this is not the one you need. Get him out of your head and go in search of someone better.

understand confused male psychology and its difference from the female will be easier after reading. It is written in a very simple language, and the whole theory is supported by real examples from life. I strongly advise!

If you have any questions about the topic of the article, then feel free to ask them in the comments. I will definitely answer. Ahead - a lot of interesting publications, stay with us! In order not to miss anything and always be aware of updates, subscribe to the blog.

Allow me to bow out on this. All love and reciprocity! See you again. Yours, Yuri Okunev.

For a long time there was a rule that a woman should not take the first step in a relationship with a man in any situation. And she had to wait until he deigned to do it. And given the male employment and forgetfulness, it could have been expected for a very long time. But current situation is significantly different. Now feminism is being promoted in the world, and everyone is striving for gender equality. Including in relationships. Therefore, today you will not surprise anyone with the fact that young ladies themselves offer gentlemen to meet, call and write.

But still, there remained a category of girls who did not have time to be liberated to the end and did not have much experience in such endeavors due to natural modesty, timidity, or even the presence of conservative views. But they also sometimes want to start acting on their own. Therefore, it is natural that many girls are lost in thought: what can be the first to write to a boy, a guy or an adult man, what questions to ask by correspondence and how to do all this unobtrusively?

We will try to help as much as possible in this matter by considering examples. various situations. To begin with, it is useful to study general rules which must be observed in any correspondence:

Write correctly. It so happens that in terms of literacy, girls have more responsibility. It is believed that they rarely have problems with the Russian language. Therefore, try not to make mistakes in words, observe punctuation and style of presentation. Everyone likes to read a well-written text. And the presence of errors is sometimes very catchy to the eye. And even a person who does not have one hundred percent literacy can notice them and distract his thoughts from main goal- lovely correspondence.
Use emoticons or emoji to make your message look lively, cute and casual. In all social networks and telephone sms there is great amount emoticons for various phrases and situations. But be sensible and don't stick them everywhere you go. Otherwise, the guy will decide that you are not serious about correspondence or that you are not smart enough to express your thoughts in words.
Don't instantly reply to a guy's messages. Wait a couple of minutes and send a reply. It is better to let him languish in expectations and be intrigued by the continuation, so his interest in you will only increase.
Don't write too long messages. It is better to divide them into several in order to maintain interest from further reading and activate them for a return conversation.
Write sincerely, originally and with interest. So a lively conversation will start between you, delivering mutual pleasure.

Having remembered the main rules, you can proceed directly to the moment of correspondence.

How to write a couple of words to a guy at night?

Before going to bed, thoughts about her lover are especially intense, and often a girl wants to remind him of herself and inflame him for the night. Therefore, she often thinks: how can you wish a guy Good night and write that I want it, or even something vulgar.

Here you need to consider what kind of relationship you have:

If this is not your boyfriend, then maybe he is now alone with a girl, and your message will be completely inappropriate.
If this unknown guy, which causes you sympathy and desire, then what you decide to write will depend on your further relations. Words must be chosen carefully, because it is not known how he can react to your flirting, straightforwardness or excessive openness. But if you do not strive for a long-term serious relationship, then you can quite throw him a couple of erotic hints and intrigue him all night long.
If you are in a personal relationship with a young man for a long time, then writing will be much easier. There are scopes for your imagination here. And, of course, he will be very pleased to read tender messages and fall asleep with thoughts of you. Especially after this, the awakening will be on a positive note.

Before going to bed, a person is as relaxed as possible, set in a romantic mood and needs warm hugs. But when hugs and kisses are not possible, the beloved will be happy to engage in intimate correspondence with you, concentrating on thoughts about you and your caresses. You can formulate phrases in your own words or use ready-made examples what to write to the guy you like at night in SMS or VKontakte:

“You are not around, but in my dreams I lay comfortably on your shoulder”;
“I madly miss your hands and lips, which are especially lacking now”;
“I would love to give you a relaxing massage at night”;
“My body is languishing without your caresses”;
“I want to wish you sweet dreams with my participation”;
“I hope you fall asleep imagining me covering your body with kisses”;
“I touch my lips, imagining that it is you kissing me. I hope to see myself in your arms in a dream”;
“I want to fall asleep and feel your breath on my cheek.”

And if after such sweet night he will also have an awakening with gentle words, then you definitely cannot leave the chosen one indifferent. It is enough to write to the guy: “ Good morning, dear, I missed you, how did you sleep and what did you dream about? ”, And he will be provided with good mood all day.

How to write to your loved one about your feelings?

Of course, it is best to write a guy about your feelings in your own words, as your heart tells you. At the same time, one should not forget that men, just like women, love pleasant words, compliments, recognition of their merits. This increases their mood, self-esteem and activates a sense of need. The main thing is that your words be sincere and without unnecessary flattery.

If you have long term relationship, then the messages can be quite frank and contain a description intimate desires and erotic activities. It is useful to warm up feelings with flirting and regular declarations of love, which can be written as in simple version three cherished words, and in the original manner. Of course, any man will appreciate poetry own composition. Sometimes quotes from the great classics about love or lines from songs will be appropriate. It would not be superfluous to thank your beloved simply for the fact that he is and brings you so much happiness.

If you find it difficult how to write a compliment or a nice phrase in a love letter to a guy, then our examples may be useful to you:

“Your hands drive me crazy - when I look at them, the most frank thoughts visit me”;
“Your hot look seems to burn through me and causes trembling and goosebumps all over my body”;
“My love for you is so strong that I want to cry with happiness”;
“I can’t imagine how I lived before meeting you - my life was gray and dull, and now it’s like a rainbow”;
“I love your body: when you play with your muscles, a fire of desire flares up in me”;
“I want to kiss your sweet lips without stopping”;
“How beautiful you are with this hairstyle - I just can’t take my eyes off”;
“When you are around, I want to smile and flutter with happiness”;
“With you, I feel like a real woman who is loved and appreciated, thank you for that”;
“I am so proud of your culinary skills; you spoil me so much that soon I can gain weight ”;
“I want to listen to your velvety voice forever”;
“In your gentle embrace, I just melt”;
“I love you very much and look forward to the evening, I have already prepared a surprise for my hero”;
"Have a nice day, my dear! Your affectionate kitty is looking forward to meeting you."

If you want to get an immediate answer to your confession, then it is better to provoke him with an interrogative sentence at the end. For example:

“I feel extremely good with you, and I believe that this is fate. What do you think about it?
“I feel like every day my love for you grows. Do you have the same feeling?
“I miss your hands and lips terribly. What do you miss the most?"

When formulating phrases about your feelings, show imagination, originality, be honest and open in order to evoke positive bright emotions and the desire to continue the correspondence and reciprocate.

One of the popular options for correspondence is when a man is serving in the military, and the girl is forced to wait for him. long time. Therefore, she may have a question: what can be written in a letter to her beloved guy in the army and how beautifully to say about her feelings and love? Consider the main points:

The peculiarity of the situation is that, while in the army, a man is deprived female warmth and caresses. Therefore, any news received brings great joy. And if suddenly more than one girl writes to him, then, as practice shows, after the army he remains with the one who did it more often and sincerely, putting all his feelings into the letter.
It is enough to write short messages, but often. For example: “My dear, beloved, dearly beloved! ... I miss you so much! I look forward to you and think about you all the time. I hug you tightly and kiss you tenderly." It is very important to instill in a young man the confidence that he is the most beloved and desired.
You can write poetry or romantic story, a fairy tale where you are the main characters. The more written, the faster the long army days will fly by for him and the more long-awaited your meeting will be.
You can write a letter in different variations: draw hearts, kisses, your couple. Leave a kiss mark with a pleasant shade of lipstick. Attach your photos to the letter. You can lightly sprinkle the leaf with your perfume so that the gentleman remembers your smell.

In any case, when thinking about how to write a letter to your beloved guy, you should not resort verbatim to samples from the Internet or borrowed from a girlfriend. Bring to any message something of your own, unique.

What to write to a guy if he is offended?

If a guy is offended by something because of something, you, regretting what happened, think: “What to write so that he forgives me, and how to say that he is dear to me and I miss you?”.

When the chosen one has feelings for you, it will not be difficult to melt his heart. After all, he, most likely, is also experiencing your quarrel and wants a speedy reconciliation. Therefore, you can just say so, without being cunning, that you are madly bored, you think about him endlessly and you simply cannot live without him. Offer to meet, walk together and talk. And during the conversation, do not try to pour accusations on him or strongly justify yourself, find out who is right and who is wrong. Try to smoothly translate the conversation into a neutral channel, and gradually the quarrel will resolve itself, and you will reach out to each other.

But before you decide to take the first step, wait a while, let the young man cool down and come to the conclusion that he wants the same. Because if, immediately after a quarrel, you throw yourself on his neck with apologies, his undermined pride will not allow you to take a step forward, and it will only hurt more.

The reason for the correspondence may be congratulations on some holiday and warm wishes. When the interlocutor congratulates in response, you can offer to spend this day together.

What to text an ex boyfriend?

If you can't forget ex boyfriend and you think how and what you can write to him so that he answers, then the most important thing here is not to rush. It is better to remember in detail all the negative aspects of your relationship, including the situation of parting. Think about it, do you really want to return it all and periodically remind each other of the past? Or is it better to leave it as it is and not enter the same river twice? Perhaps the young man has already had another girl with whom he is completely passionate. And he doesn't want to do anything with you. Then hearing his refusal will be insanely painful.

If, nevertheless, you are confident in your decision to return the ex and write to him, then you should adhere to the following points:

Don't text right after you break up. Take a break for a few weeks better months to verify your own feelings and give the chosen one to reflect on the current situation and, perhaps, even miss you.
It is necessary to observe wisdom, accuracy and sobriety of consciousness. Do not write when drunk. Then, having sobered up, you can really regret your act.
It is desirable to find a reason for correspondence. For example, to congratulate on the holiday or ask for help that only he can provide.
It is not necessary to puzzle over the question: how to write a “hello” to a guy in an original way? Just start: “I congratulate you on your holiday (birthday) and wish you great happiness and fulfillment of desires ... And what do you want?” or “Hello. What's up? I really need help, and no one can cope with this except you ... ”In this way, you will show that you have forgotten all the insults and are ready for unobtrusive friendly communication. And about true motives he doesn't need to know yet.
To start a conversation, you can discuss interesting events your life or mutual friends and acquaintances. Most importantly, do not complain about anything and behave at ease.

If a young man answers dryly, reluctantly, refuses to help, or ignores it altogether, you should not continue the correspondence. It means that you really are no longer interested in him and there is no need to humiliate yourself and persuade him to return. Better wait a little more and you will definitely meet your true happiness.

What exactly should not be written to a guy?

Sometimes a girl makes mistakes in correspondence that can turn the conversation into an unpleasant direction and simply extinguish the interest of a young man. Consider what needs to be avoided in the letter so that this does not happen:

Do not be annoying and bombard your chosen one with messages if he does not answer. Especially like “Where are you?”, “Why are you silent?”, “Are you chatting with someone else?”, “I don’t interest you at all?” etc. He may be really busy at this moment or not in the mood, and with such behavior you will spur him on even more and cause irritation.
You should not continue the dialogue if the partner answers with monosyllabic replies. A woman should have pride.
If this is an unfamiliar young man, you don’t need to be too frank with him or send intimate photos.
Do not point out his spelling errors in the text. Otherwise, the interlocutor will be offended and stop the correspondence.
Don't contact unfamiliar person familiarly, such as "hare", "kitten", "cute", "baby". Not every man can endure such treatment in his address, and some just go berserk.
Do not go in cycles in correspondence on your beloved and do not lay out all your ins and outs. Be more interested in his life, affairs, hobbies.
You should not show aggression, irritability, if something does not suit you in a conversation. It is better to finish delicately and continue another time, when the emotions have cooled down.

Thus, if you do everything right and avoid ridiculous mistakes, then correspondence with your chosen one will be held on positive emotions, will arouse reciprocal interest and delightful continuation.

Millions of girls compose romantic messages to their loved ones. It is this method that allows you to express your thoughts, giving them clarity, sublimity, which is not so easy to do with a personal date. There are currently many mobile applications to send a quick message. But at the beginning of a relationship, some are interested in the question of what to write to a guy in order to be able to interest him in various circumstances of his life.

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How to start?

Written messages help to overcome stiffness and uncertainty, focusing the interlocutor's attention on their winning features, charming him and penetrating his soul. Messaging does not imply obsession at all, this method only indicates interest in the guy you like.

An ordinary short "Hi, how are you" can lead the first message from a girl to a guy. The first phrase is acceptable and quite original, for example: "What great man That's it, now it's your turn to come up with compliments!" You should not start a relationship with straightforward confessions that alarm the chosen one and can produce the opposite result.

A phrase invented by yourself will sound more sincere than borrowed from the Internet. It is possible that the guy has already had to read this from other girls. A message of a benevolent shade, without a hint of aggression, is appropriate. It is good to say what is in the heart.

It is necessary to tune in to a light friendly tone, moving away from familiarity. Boredom and melancholy should be avoided. Any person likes attention, but it is important to monitor the literacy of writing and punctuality, to avoid tactlessness, obsession. If there is a long pause, it is regarded as a lack of interest.

Before writing to a guy, you need to study his page on social networks, pay attention to his favorite books, films, hobbies, life events. To interest him, it is good to prepare a little for the conversation by drawing Additional information about his hobbies or upcoming topic communication. At the end of the conversation, it’s nice to exchange photos, videos, posts, music.

Terms

The beginning of communication in Internet correspondence depends on whether people already know each other or not, whether they are in peaceful relations, whether they like each other.

If no holidays are foreseen in the near future, you can use a simple form of address to send a message to your ex: "Hi, I missed you. Let's put up." Men are straightforward, so grandiloquent meandering expressions can cause more misunderstandings than encourage frankness.

You should not write to the former immediately after a quarrel, parting. Let him think long enough. Then, without any "remorse" and explanations, in simple words, ask how his life is, mentioning that "I haven't written for a long time."

If a guy has a girlfriend, you should think about how much it is necessary to write him a message. Threatening someone's relationship without having confidence in successful development events, will give a deplorable result, leaving a residue in everyone's soul. It is permissible to make a hint so that the guy understands that he is welcome and ready to communicate.

In the process of communicating with an unfree young man, it is worth asking him delicate matter how serious he is about the relationship. The answer will give a lot to understand and draw conclusions. If a man evades a direct answer, then it is clear that it is unlikely to get the truth from him in the future. Some say they are free, others philosophize about freedom in relationships.

If the reasons why he does not write become known, then it is necessary to form a speech taking into account the existing wishes and mistakes. If he prefers more tenderness, use a similar technique.

Dialogue development

Approximate dialogue development plan:

Intrigue. If the dialogue has taken place, the next task is to reinforce achieved result plus the ability to intrigue for further communication. For this purpose, various techniques are suitable: a proposal to describe each other. This is fun and educational, because in the process of getting to know each other, it allows you to get to know each other better, and the intertwined conclusions amuse and provoke communication.
Compliment. All men are susceptible to compliments, praise, positive evaluations, it is only important to proceed from real facts without exaggerating dignity. To do this, you need to pay attention to interests, photos, and other details related to the guy's account.
Request for help. The soul of a protector lives in every man, so the task of the girl is to help him open up, to show himself as a superman. The request should not be annoying, let it look unpretentious: the question of choosing a smartphone, regarding the rules traffic. In conclusion, you need to thank the interlocutor.
Mysteriousness. Creating uncertainty, ambiguity, when there is interest, but there are no answers regarding certain aspects of life. If there are significant events in a personal biography, then they will later pleasantly surprise a man.
Finding common interests. Gradual communication allows naturally identify common hobbies. Regardless of the type of hobby, they are very close.
Comment or question. Ask the guy if his girlfriend studied at such and such a university. Note his resemblance to his relative; identify.
Support. Banal words of kindness, wishes for success at work, concern for well-being - an occasion to feel the support of friends, which will be appreciated by a young man. It is recommended to write to the guy about his own readiness to listen, support him in difficult moment. Take note of phrases that emphasize positive features interlocutor: his way of life, sense of humor, erudition, love for animals, sports.

SMS messages:

if it is SMS, several messages sent one after another will be of interest;
some use SMS as a means of getting to know each other, referring to a wrongly dialed number.

What to be silent about

There are phrases after which the conversation is not easy to bring to the previous level. They are detrimental to results.

List of possible unwanted phrases:

unpleasant comparisons (with someone from the past, etc.);
remarks, criticism, accusations, including the question of why he does not answer for a long time;
it is not recommended to mention absentees in a conversation, characterizing them negatively;
complaints and everything connected with them should be avoided - dissatisfaction with life, etc.;
do not show jealousy: she will immediately discourage the desire to communicate, emphasize the girl’s intention to manipulate, control, especially if you use questions about why and when the guy could write;
vulgarity creates an unfavorable impression on everyone, otherwise rarely would anyone agree to build a serious relationship with such a girl.

Girls mistakes:

frequent use of emoticons: will create the impression of frivolity, although in general such signs are necessary to maintain a relaxed atmosphere in communication;
the presence of punctuation errors discourages the desire to communicate even among those who are not strong in spelling;
a quick response to his message will show excessive interest, which is undesirable, especially at first;
voluminous paragraphs: it is better to divide them into several small ones to make it easier to read;
if during correspondence the message remains unread, it is no longer worth writing anything to the interlocutor;
a read and unanswered message means that it put the interlocutor in an awkward position or another reason why the dialogue should be suspended.

Ignorance of the true reason will bring a lot of inconvenience if the guy wants to communicate, but sees words such as: "I miss you, where are you"; open confession in feelings cancels all other scenarios, leaving only reciprocity or immediate refusal.

Social networks and dating sites

If you like a person with whom you have not communicated for a long time, it is convenient to start a correspondence with him on the social network. Today it is clear to anyone: if you do not know what to write in the first message, it is easy to use the comment under the publication of the person of interest. Thus, you can unobtrusively attract his attention.

Girls need to be aware that the content on a personal page leaves a meaningful impression. Candid photos, information that can be ambiguously interpreted are undesirable. Well, if the avatar, visible every time you read messages, will look attractive.

Diminutive appeals can scare a man away, causing associations with excessive care.

Dating sites usually have options that allow you to track Common parameters, interesting data or hobbies, by which it is possible to "filter" and get to know those who are significant.

The emoticon sent as a message will eloquently reflect the mood of a girl who wants to communicate with a guy she likes, and this is enough for him to answer. If a young man does not react, it means that he is not ready for the development of relations, is not set up for an exchange positive emotions.

If he doesn't write

Guys prefer to correspond with witty cheerful girls, free from problems, not complaining about life.

There is no need to be obsessive so that he only thinks of you. A man should be comfortable, pleasant, easy, interesting. If he does not write, you cannot send messages with claims, insults, questions, or bother him with jokes.

To make a guy want to meet, girls use the anonymous letter method, if available. email address person, where they indicate the meeting place, time. If curiosity works, then the quality of the meeting depends on the participants themselves.