Beauty and health of teeth 

To not lose a friend. How to End a Relationship Without Losing Mutual Friends

Have you and your ex/ex made many new friends during your relationship? Sadly, you are now separated. How to end a relationship with an ex / ex without losing mutual friends?

Steps

    Do not discuss your breakup with them. In such a situation, there are always two points of view. Save yours for discussion with family and friends you knew before you got into a relationship.

    Never say anything bad about your ex/ex. Just because you don't talk about a breakup doesn't mean you can say nasty things about that person that aren't related to a breakup. When you say unpleasant things to people who are your mutual friends, you put them in an extremely awkward position, because they want to remain faithful to both you and your ex.

    Disclose information carefully. Because it's yours general friends, remember that anything you say to them can get through to your ex. This can spoil all your attempts to break up in an amicable way.

    Keep in touch. This moment is very difficult, because mutual friends bind you firmly to old relationships, both heart and mind. However, if you want to keep the friendship, you must understand that your mutual friends may simply not know how to behave with you in this situation, so you must show them (by phone call or by e-mail) that you want to keep in touch. As already mentioned, you must be careful not to reveal information to your friends that should not reach your ex; nevertheless, share with them your feelings and experiences about what is happening so that they still feel like a part of your life. You might say, for example, "All things considered, I feel pretty good. Of course, it's not easy to start over, but I hope the worst is over and I'm ready to move on."

    If you're already dating a new person, keep them away from mutual friends. The meeting may cause resentment and be accompanied by negative prejudice, simply because it new love. Friends will feel like they will betray their friend (your ex) if they like your new partner who took his place. Until a certain point, keep your new sympathies secret. Wait until the "dust clears" and you feel solid ground under your feet - only after that you can try to introduce mutual friends to a new sympathy.

    Speaking of your joint meetings, you should not expect that only you will be invited from a couple. Some of your friends won't want to put in front of them difficult choice who to invite - you or your ex / ex. Most likely, they will invite both of you with the idea that you are adults and will deal with the situation yourself. AT big companies this is quite appropriate, but in a close circle of close friends it will be nelo-o-o-o-o. Avoid these situations by directly asking if your ex will be at the party. You will almost certainly get an honest answer. Don't throw tantrums by making the friend who invites you feel guilty. Just express your regrets if you think that this meeting will be awkward for both of you: "Ah, okay ... I probably won't go, it will be too close company. But don't worry, we can meet another time when there are more people, and we can distract ourselves. " Smile, be friendly and thank the person for thinking of you.

  1. Don't lose your dignity and act nobly. In a misplaced attempt to reassure you that they are on "your side," your friends may throw a few punches at your ex. You should not rejoice at ridicule at your ex, and you definitely should not join such jokes. Remember, these friends are most likely doing the same to you when they're talking to your ex.

    • Instead, calmly and impressively say something like, "You know guys, I was angry during the breakup, but now I feel regret and I'm sad. During the time he/she and I had a lot of good things. Despite now we need to move on, I don't regret the time we spent together. If it weren't for ____ (name of the former / former), I would never have met / met you. After that, just shut up. Your friends will nod in response and appreciate your high moral standards.

  2. Let time take care of the rest. Breaking up is like a broken arm. She's in terrible pain, and there's not much you can do after you've put the cast in, except for one thing: give her time. All that remains for you is to endure the pain and cope with the changes that have occurred in your life. After a while, if you don't criticize your ex and don't take part in the jokes on him, your friends will understand that you survived it and move on.

    • Over time, your friendship will be strengthened in new conditions. Friends will begin to perceive you not as part of a couple, but as an individual. Only then can you initiate them into your new romantic relationship.
    • Your friends need time too. They knew you as part of a couple they loved, and now they too need to adjust to new circumstances. They may make awkward or even angry remarks because they don't know who to blame for what happened and what to do. Be gentle with them and keep in mind that they just don't understand how to behave in this situation.
    • When attending parties or going out with mutual friends, feel free to ask them if your ex is invited. Explain to your friends that you need time and some personal space to be ready for more intimate contact with your ex than he will be at really crowded parties.

    Warnings

    • It may turn out that some of your "friends" are not at all. Beware of spies who are secretly watching you, gathering information for your ex. This warning is especially true if you are going through a divorce. And in this situation, you will be more than ever glad that you have not discovered your new sympathies.
    • Don't be in a hurry to deal with a breakup too much good or too much early. Remember What Your Mutual Friends Feed warm feelings and to your ex. If it seems to them that you easily threw him out of your life, as if he was something unnecessary (even if it is), friends will think that you are acting cold and heartless. Resist the temptation to brag about the new nice guy(new pretty girl), and instead focus on the feelings of friends.
    • Any stinging or aggressive remarks about your ex critically reduce your chances of maintaining friendship with your mutual friends.

When two choose each other, the world does not stop for a split second, the movement continues. Years go by, and the spell of love dissipates, giving way to more tangible things - career ambitions, household chores, raising children. Sublime feelings take on quite earthly outlines, love comes to an end.

But is there something behind the screen of candy-bouquet dreams? Is it possible to save feelings by carrying love through long years family life? We will talk about this below.

1. Create family rituals

Who said that getting used to each other is enemy number 1 for love relationship? In fact, as soon as a couple moves to the same territory, their task is not to furnish the walls with plasma and other junk, but to build family-wide rituals. It is important for lovers to find understanding in their future lifestyle and habits: who in the family will be responsible for cleaning and leaking taps, what products do both want to see in the refrigerator, how do they plan to spend their holidays? What is generally acceptable in their relationship, and what partners will not tolerate? Achieving understanding in such trifles will save the couple from quarrels and petty misunderstandings in future.

2. Discuss problems with each other

At the stage of falling in love, young people try to present themselves from the most favorable side, endure discomfort, so as not to spoil the impression. Not surprisingly, in this situation, few really manage to get to know each other. And now in life together the first surprises begin: she turns out to be a couch potato who would prefer an evening with a computer to a trip to the mountains, he is a manic fan of cleanliness with an allergy to her cooking. In such situations, it is important not only to pour reproaches against each other, pouring out the soul to numerous relatives, but to learn how to solve problems face-to-face, without making too much public. Outsiders can't give suitable advice, complaints will only strengthen the stretched springs. The only way to overcome irritation is to talk with a partner. More and more.

3. Look for compromises

Often young people make one popular mistake. AT candy-bouquet period both carefully protect each other's feelings, trying not to step on pain points. But in a life together, this respect disappears somewhere, and it is replaced by the position “we are close, so you can not stand on ceremony!” A struggle for power begins, all kinds of belittling of the partner’s actions, depreciation of his personality. But proximity is careful attitude to a loved one, acceptance and support, and not the truth-womb, because "I'm better" or "chief".

4. Learn to ask and refuse

The times when it was considered shameful to talk about your emotions are long gone, the Soviet past has been replaced by an era of openness, honesty and the ability to voice desires out loud. It is foolish to blame a person for not guessing your thoughts and not feeling your feelings, learn to voice requests in words, repeat them over and over again until the message is taken seriously. We also include here the ability to say “no”, which saves a young family from many problems, teaches them to value themselves and their worldview. By the way, both partners have the right to refuse.

5. Maintain your uniqueness

Finally, the last thing to keep in mind in long term relationship- no family-wide traditions should force you to merge into a single whole with a partner. If a wife loves dancing and a husband is a football fan, this does not mean that each should now sacrifice his hobby for the sake of the interests of the other. It is right to participate in each other's life on our own initiative, but not to perceive concessions as a sacred duty, because "we are now a couple." You initially fell in love with this difference in each other, a unique individuality, so be yourself! It is important to love a person, not your ideas about him.

As it should be, I was not the same person as before and in general. I told a lot of lies just anyhow they didn’t lose (friends) because when there are a lot of girlfriends, you have to adapt to each one. It went on like this for a very long time long period time. After that, ... , it seems to me that I cannot be normal, that is good friend and a girl. It always seems to me that I will either betray friends, or even all of them lose. This guy is back in my life, but I don't understand why. Yes, we had a relationship that gave ...

https://www.site/psychology/19685

Friends, I'm sorry
what today
I leave you for a while
and the boat is quiet in the fog,
slightly swaying under me,
from faithful eyes, guitars, songs
further and further away it floats away.
All sharper sounds, colors, shadows
and light...

https://www.site/poetry/1121170

The bots literally did not acquire numerous friends. the main problem was that, being among friends, the malware gained access to the most personal information of each user, which he keeps for his own. These ... are enough for attackers to commit various illegal actions against visitors to social networks. The consequences of a cyberattack can be the loss money from credit cards, loss of passwords, distribution of passport data. Also, hackers can...

https://www.site/journal/138335

Friends - six letters,
and so much meaning...
You don't have to be a scientist
to make sure!
You don't have to be a seer
to know everything in advance
Because a true friend won't let you down!
Will always help you in grief and sorrow,
won't brag...

https://www.site/poetry/169092

Friends are not born

Friends are not born, they are made.
On the life path here and there
People meet, people leave.
They live according to their dreams.

And part of the way when I pass
I look back to see
Who, having lost me, rejoices,
Who is able...

It is difficult to find a person who would live easily without friends or not get upset because of their loss and absence. For many, it is important to know that they have people who can share with them both joy and sorrow, who will understand in Hard time support, give advice, listen.

It happens that even the most faithful and not “spill water” friends gradually move away from each other. And here it rises main question: what to do in the current situation with distance and how to improve relations with a friend.

First you need to identify the cause. In most cases, stormy communication fades away, constant conversations and meetings become less and less frequent, and then communication completely switches to single words and phrases: “how are you”, “fine, how are you?”.

Study, work, family, household chores - all this constant employment sometimes requires some kind of action and deed through “I don’t want to”. For example, call friends after a grueling work day, when there is no strength, you want to hide from the whole world, not talk to anyone, or just lie down or sit down, and then you need to pull yourself together, get together and go somewhere, without much mood on this.

Therefore, if it is felt that relationships, and even more so friendship, are becoming superficial, but I would not like this, then it is worth acting.

Call and gather friends in noisy company to visit, while it is not at all necessary to arrange some kind of grandiose feast, it is enough that everyone will gather and be able to be together, for example, for tea with a cake, for a pizza made by oneself. You can also go to the cinema, bowling or barbecue in nature.

One meeting held together will not be enough. You need to get in the habit of getting together and make a tradition out of it, finding time for this, and then the friends themselves will start throwing interesting ideas for fun sharing and relaxation. And the more you communicate with each other, the more so for various discussions, some common memories and the appearance of a craving to get together and see each other again.

If your relationship deteriorated as a result of a quarrel and there is a huge gap between you, then in this situation you need to do otherwise than described above.

It doesn’t matter who is to blame for the quarrel and your disagreement, because on the one hand, everyone is to blame, to one degree or another. One is to blame for starting a conflict, and the other for responding to it, and not finishing the quarrel.

Therefore, if friendship was really expensive, and I would like to improve relations, then you need to take the first step, even if you are sure that it is not you who are to blame for the quarrel, but a friend or friends. But this does not at all oblige you to apologize or ask for forgiveness, it is worth saying that friendship is many times more important and more expensive than quarrels and quarrels, and that I would very much like to establish former relationship, no matter what.

If you are the instigator of a quarrel, conflict, then it is better for you to sincerely apologize here, which, undoubtedly, will slightly smooth out the negative situation. Perhaps friends will not immediately go to the world, but you have provided a reason for reflection. However, if the quarrel was petty, then after an apology it will be easier for both parties to let go of grievances and continue friendship.

Love for a friend is the loss of friendship

There is an opinion that there is no friendship between a man and a woman. And even despite the fact that people of opposite sexes communicate, it means that there was something between them or is still ahead, or something will definitely happen. There is some truth in this. And if you do not want to lose a friend, then you should put some effort into this.

How not to fall in love with a friend if you began to see your future lover in your friend. First, think about whether you really want this and generally any close relationship with him. Remember, ask yourself the question: why are you communicating with him, what do you value in this friend.

It is a frequent occurrence that in a friend they say goodbye or simply “close their eyes” to the qualities of personality, behavior, and in a partner they are simply unacceptable for you.

It is also worth thinking about the fact that ease will disappear in communication, because serious relationship is a serious burden. Two meeting people who build relationships should take care of each other, constantly keep in touch, be interested in well-being, business, and much more. They should help solve the problems that have arisen together.

You let into your life, so to speak, an outsider, and he enters yours, and you actively participate in each other's lives. So decide if you are ready for this turn of events. It is possible that your real communication a couple of times a week is the best option.

It is worth considering this aspect: you are aware of your friend’s girls, you know everything about his personal life. Evaluate whether everything suits you in his companions. Are you ready to communicate with your boyfriend former passions. All this will definitely happen, since there is on this moment friendship with you, then why should he stop communicating with female representatives if your communication and friendship moves to a closer and more serious turn.

If this alignment does not suit you, then it is better to remain in the role of a friend.

In rare cases, after a break in relations between partners, at least some friendly relations. Finding a new guy is not so difficult in our time, but a good and reliable friend - difficult task. Therefore, decide for yourself whether you are ready for the loss of friendship before trying to build a relationship with him. And it is not known whether love will take the place of friendship or not. And the friendship and trust that was before will never be.

Unbreakable friendship - friendship is real, everything else is fake

To understand whether a real friend or not, pay attention to his support. A true friend tries to help, gives a sense of self-confidence and joy of life. If on the contrary - he suppresses, you feel unsuitable with him, not a single good word in your address is not heard, under any circumstances, which means that he is not your friend.

The statements of a true friend are encouraging. For example, does he say compliments, is he happy about your new job, any acquisitions. Does he try to cheer up when the situation requires it. A true friend will support you before an exam, an interview, and even before a first date. A real friend should not cheer you up in every possible way, but should be your constant fan, contributing to your success, regardless of the occupation.

He should take the time to listen to everything you want to tell him. AT true friendship both parties must share their thoughts and receive some kind of response. If your friend mostly talks violently about his problems, but sluggishly responds to yours, then he is a bad friend. Pay attention to your friend's reaction when you share something with him.

If he just nods, supports eye contact, then a friend, and if he looks around every now and then, pulls mobile phone looking for something on the screen is not a friend. See if your friend remembers your previous conversation and what you ever told him about. A true friend will remember, especially if it's something important.

bad friend may pretend to listen to you, but then it turns out that he does not remember such things that you were offered new job, you suddenly fell in love, because he did not listen to you. Assess the situation, who speaks more: you or a friend. Ideally, real friends should talk at about the same time. If it seems that you have to listen to something every now and then, then your relationship is uneven.

You and your friend must interact with each other. If you can easily and honestly share thoughts or feelings, a friend knows what is going on in your life, and at the same time you are comfortable, then you have friendly a good relationship. If you have any fear or reluctance to tell a friend about your feelings, as this may anger him or you are afraid of getting disapproval, then there can be no question of any friendly relations here.

A true friend can sometimes tell you what you're thinking and feeling, because there's a connection. If a friend shares feelings, thoughts with everyone except you, there are problems in a relationship. You can tell a real friend that he is not behaving properly, for example: “I was offended because you didn’t come to the birthday party” and discuss this situation.

Since there is no perfect friendship, and the important point is to clarify all misunderstandings. If you swallow grievances without words, because you think that a friend will react sharply to comments sharply or not pay attention at all, then he is not real.

A good friend doesn't gossip. Everyone, without exception, loves to wash the bones, but if you notice that a friend is constantly talking nasty things and collecting gossip about other people, then there is a possibility that the same thing is happening behind your back. A bad friend says nasty things about a person, as soon as he should turn away, his close friends are constantly present in his discussions, he speaks badly about people who are not around, or you once heard that he spoke badly about you - this is not a friend and not even a good friend.

Loves, does not love, hugs, kisses ...

Guys don't always say exactly what they're thinking. The reasons for this secrecy are varied. But if you observe and be more attentive, then everything can be understood without further ado. Here are tips on how to understand a guy's attitude towards you by observing and analyzing his actions.

To begin with, pay attention to how he looks at you, talks, with what intonation. If he is with a burning look, does not take his eyes off you, tilting his head slightly to one side, then your figure has interested him. It seems that he catches every moment spent in your presence, every word, maybe your voice is pleasant to him or your appearance in general, or it is possible that you are entirely.

At the sight of a girl he likes, a guy can pause a little, straighten either his shirt, hair, or something else, trying to seem confident. Can start to tell interesting funny stories, or stories of their exploits. You should not take everything seriously, as guys like to embellish a little in stories to appear in front of a girl in best light. Of course, if a guy behaves like this in front of a girl, then without a doubt, he likes her.

It is necessary to pay attention to whether your problems are interesting to him, how your affairs are. It is sad if he is not at all interested in this and it is unlikely that then he is making any plans for a relationship with you, maybe he is considering you just for a single entertainment, nothing more, or he is just an egoist. If things are different, and he is zealously interested in the state of your affairs, even tries to take part in them, to provide assistance, then this shows his interest, desire to take part in your life, to provide support.

An assessment of a guy's attitude towards you can be done by his behavior with you in the presence of strangers. If you are interesting to him, then during a conversation the guy tries to turn around to you, for example, he will throw his hands on his shoulders, sit down closer. But most of all, you need to pay attention to how he behaves with you in a company where other girls are present. With the same attention to you, or on the contrary, he is cold and tries to move away. If everything is unchanged, then he appreciates your relationship.

Often calls on the phone with or without reason, doing this almost every twenty minutes, taking an interest in your affairs, well-being. Often calls you for walks or looks for various excuses to be with you. He also spends free and non-free time in your company. Ready to share with you things that are important to him.

A good sign is getting to know your friends, or even better, with his closest friend. Since male friends have great importance, therefore, if he decided to take such a step, this indicates that there are some good plans. But if he introduced you to his parents, while introducing you to his girlfriend, then without any doubt we can say about his feelings, he is in love.

Faithful, reliable, devoted friends able to brighten up our lives, bring many joyful moments and events into it. It is not enough to find a person with whom you can share any joys and failures, the main thing is to maintain a good relationship with him. There are moments when most of us wonder - how not to lose friendship? Let's try to answer the questions that arise, to deal with its main highlights.

How to understand that your friends are moving away

With age, each of us acquires a lot of obligations and worries. In the morning we rush to work, in the evening we go home and there is simply no time left for friends. And by and large, no one is to blame for the fact that the need to talk, to pour out the soul disappears. There comes a moment when a person realizes that there are no friends left, they just moved away, they already have their own completely different life.

How not to miss such a turning point, by what signs to understand that your friends have begun to slowly distance themselves.

The friend stops calling. This is the first "alarming" sign. A friend calls less and less, is no longer so often interested in your affairs, does not need everyday communication.

You meet less and less and do not know about new events in each other's lives, stop sharing secrets. It is worth paying attention to the frequency of meetings. If you haven’t seen each other for a long time, call yourself, don’t wait months for an offer. Buy a cake and go visit.

A friend forgets about memorable dates for you and does not invite to celebrations, birthdays. This is already quite bad. In this case, a friend may be offended by something, so you should not repeat his behavior, but try to talk to him, meet.

He has a new company. Most likely, when a friend does not get the communication he needs, he begins to look for him in the company of other people. This is rather unpleasant, it is advisable to try to understand the situation and find out the reasons for the rare communication.

Mistakes leading to the loss of friendships

Strained relationships, rare meetings, lack of phone calls from friends - this is all for a reason. Most likely - there is a reason and perhaps it lies in you. What mistakes do we make before we lose our beloved friends?

Lie. We may deceive friends for one reason or another, but if the deception is exposed, we risk losing a comrade.

We don't find the time. This is a big mistake if we think that we will be expected forever. In most cases, there is always an opportunity to meet and chat - do not miss this opportunity.

Making fun of friends or discussing their shortcomings with others. It's not beautiful. If your friend finds out about this, it will become extremely clear why he decided to refuse communication.

Constant use for one's own benefit. We can regularly borrow money from a friend, ask us to do some amount of work for ourselves. While giving nothing in return. It might just get boring.

We refuse to help. It can destroy any relationship. Mutual assistance - important point in friendship.

To borrow money. As the proverb says: "If you want to lose a friend, lend him money." Try not to lend to comrades large sums, if you do not want to make an enemy in his face.

Jealousy. Never flirt or flirt with the passions of your comrades - this is a big mistake.

We talk a lot about ourselves not interested in the life of a friend.

We don't keep our promises. To carry on a conversation and make momentary promises that are forgotten as soon as they said goodbye to a friend - Right way say goodbye to him forever.

What to do in order to maintain friendships at a distance

Most believe that it is not easy to keep in touch with a person if he lives in another city or country. But this is not true. Now we will tell you how not to lose friendship and keep it at a distance.

A few tips will help with this:

Take time to socialize and do it as regularly as possible. Write emails to in social networks call, chat on skype.

Don't forget birthdays anniversaries, anniversaries and just important events in the life of a best friend.

Try to make your communication "personal". Share secrets, trust secrets, consult.

Discuss topics that are interesting not only to you, but also to a friend, be interested in his health, family and other things.

Create your own tradition and follow it no matter what.

Make small parties online. You can prepare wine, beer, fruits on both sides of the screens, discuss events and just joke.

Tell the truth. Admit that you miss, that you want to see each other. More sincerity in words.

What to do if friendship is no longer mutual

What to do if recent times the man began to notice that his company was a burden to his friend, that he avoided communication and never called himself.

Firstly, find the courage in yourself and call a friend on straight Talk. Perhaps they will reveal all the cards to you and explain what such incomprehensible and unpleasant behavior lies in. There may be hidden resentment, curl, anger, a banal lack of time.

Secondly, wait for a response, if nothing happens and the behavior of a friend does not change, try to take time out and give him and yourself time to think, reflect on the current situation.

Thirdly, if all else fails and attempts to establish friendship remain futile, just leave. There is nothing more to be done. You can keep missing your comrade and remember pleasant moments but it's time to put an end to it and regret nothing more. So, the paths parted and the friendship ended.

How financial matters can affect friendships

Probably, many have heard stories more than once about how two bosom comrades grew up together, walked, went to the same company, but after that they went on different roads. And all because one has achieved a lot, became financially independent. The second one remained average, he works hard, but there are not enough stars from the sky.

Of course, in 99% of 100 - the more a person earns, the more he is developed and his interests begin to change, values ​​become different. No, this is not at all about the fact that he becomes greedy and mercantile, by no means. People just move away and stop understanding each other.

Unfortunately, it also happens that envy appears, and sometimes hatred. Money can easily destroy a long-standing friendship, unless a more successful comrade pulls up a second, lagging behind. Then the relationship can be saved.

One thing is clear, friendship is not easy. Good ones, trusting relationship with a person it is necessary to build for years, work on them, but even here there is no guarantee that someday this will not come to an end. Nevertheless, take care of your friends if they are really faithful and real, ready to come to the rescue at the first call. True friend is a great gift.