How to talk to a man correctly. Psychology of communication with men. Become an attentive listener

Can not be simple relationships between completely different people. No one disputes the assertion that a woman is a mystery. And everyone knows how Woman's intuition capable of shattering male logic. Anecdotes tell about the mutual understanding of the sexes.
But every woman wonders how to communicate with a man and avoid mistakes at the same time, what to do so that he hears her, how to remain interesting to him.

Curiosity is a keen interest not in what is good and beautiful, but in what is rare.
Jean de La Bruyère

About the psychology of the stronger sex

One obvious truth: men are males

This is their strongest natural instinct. It is vital for them to realize themselves as a leader in any field: from work to family relations and personal hobbies.

Not a single representative of the stronger sex needs a woman nearby who always argues and is sure that she is always right. How to communicate with a guy? First of all, he expects support and worthy evaluation of his ideas. So give it to him. Your words that he is right, that his plans are grandiose, that only victory awaits him, will bring another plus sign to your piggy bank. And if before that he thought that you were nothing of yourself, now the direction of his thoughts will be different, there is definitely something in you.

Another truth: they are big kids

The children have grown, their toys too. Discuss his new car with him, praise his choice, and if you understand a little about them, you can have deeper conversations. Toys can be different: fishing, hunting, subordinates ... But you never know what else interests him. He will see in you a worthy understanding interlocutor.

If already formed really trusting relationship, a man himself can tell you how to behave with him correctly. Ask him about it. And in general, try to speak openly and directly with him, so as not to create something that will not please him or cause irritation. Explain to him that you expect the same frankness in return.

8 rules to keep a man interested

Psychologists advise to observe several simple rules communication with a man, so that he always has an interest in you, so that in his eyes you remain a woman with whom it is easy, pleasant and interesting.

Be polite

Politeness has not been canceled. "Thank you", "please" and other words of politeness are very useful to say. And if you make a remark, then only in the correct form. Even quarrels should not tear a stream of anger and dirt out of your mouth. First, words can kill. Secondly, you run the risk of saying something that you will regret and will not be able to correct the impression of yourself as a hysterical person. Respect him and yourself too.

Not demands, but requests

No one likes arrogant and narcissistic people. Whatever you ask, do it politely. On the one hand, wiping your feet on the person you want to be interested in is unreasonable. Your strength is in your weakness. Have you heard of this? And you don't know how to talk to a guy? A request expressed in an uncertain soft tone with naive helplessness in his eyes - and he is ready to move mountains for you, and not just to do some trifle.

Talk about everything

It is so simple. You have to be really interesting, educated, well-read. You are not required to shine with your knowledge in different areas. It is enough to keep the conversation going, appropriately and competently, but only when there is real knowledge in this area. Otherwise, you risk being branded as a fool. But it all works if the man is really smart. And if the object of your sympathy does not shine with erudition, you will have to once again do not demonstrate your education, so as not to scare off the gentleman.

Quarrels and scandals

This absolutely should not be. Your screams and tantrums will cause a reaction that is not at all what you would like. He will not obey, will not pity you, but will leave, slamming the door, or drive you away. Especially if the reason, from his point of view, is negligible. Well, I didn't call. Well I talked to unknown girl in any network or on the street. Yes, not much else. Because of such nonsense, "rinse" the brains! You will achieve much more with a sad look and a tear that rolled down. And if a quarrel is still unavoidable, you will have to calmly and without tantrums express all your claims, without omissions, hints, moralizing and screaming.

Often a man does not even realize how important some things are for you, which he considers stupid. Tell him about it. Try to understand him, and then in return he will do the same.

A sip of freedom

SMS every few minutes will drive anyone crazy. And you don't have to call all the time. A man has a life and interests besides you. For him, going to football with friends or fishing on the weekend is no less significant than a date with you. This is his personal space. You can easily use time forced loneliness for the benefit of yourself - make a face mask, visit a beauty salon, arrange a bachelorette party, just watch your favorite melodrama under a blanket with a cup chamomile tea. Let him go. He will miss you and will gladly rush to meet you, call you himself. And you don't have to pretend like you don't care. He will be very pleased to understand that you were bored and were waiting for a meeting.

Control

So you yourself will like it when your every sneeze is taken into account? Don't make that kind of mistake. Let him have some freedom from you in this too. Let your attention not be intrusive. Your man is very uncomfortable under the cap.
Of course, there is a category of men who dream of a mommy woman. But for the most part, they dream of a caring, attentive, kind soulmate.

Mood

It is unlikely that a man will be satisfied to constantly disturb Nesmeyana. Your dissatisfied facial expression is quite capable of spoiling the mood even for a benevolent man. The most correct answer to the question of how to communicate with a man is one: with a smile. She will make your boyfriend smile back. Your good mood will cheer him up.

Ability to listen and hear

When a person shares his feelings, problems, joys, it is important for him that the person who is nearby not only listens, but also hears him. It is important for him that the interlocutor is really interested in the conversation. And if the monologue turns into a lively dialogue, the man will be subdued.

virtual communication

It is important to be able to properly communicate with a man on the Internet. In this case, it is very important to clearly express your thoughts, give detailed concrete examples Try not to use common words. Uncertainties give rise to unreasonable fantasies in your interlocutor. So write and speak honestly and accurately if you are communicating on a website or social media page. It is better that your communication goes into some kind of video chat. This will give you the opportunity to figure out exactly who you are dealing with.

But you must always remember that if your relationship continues in life, then all your words will have to be confirmed. Most simple details let a man represent you real woman, which he is ready to accept with its shortcomings, which he is aware of in advance. You will be much more offended if he imagines a certain ideal and will be frankly disappointed.

conclusions

Few people think about whether he knows how to communicate with the opposite sex. We can all speak. It is by talking that we begin to understand another, express feelings and emotions, explain desires. When we communicate with a person who is attractive to us, the desire to arouse a reciprocal interest is quite understandable. And if you just interest a person, then it is much more difficult to maintain interest for a long time. We hope you find these tips helpful.

For a man, a woman is not only an object of contemplation and a lover, but also an interlocutor. Not every girl can and knows how to communicate with guys, but knowing some of the features male psychology, it is easy to learn.

The guy does not want to communicate with me - what should I do? How to regain lost interest in a relationship and are there any simple tips on how to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex?

Features of the male character

All people are individual. Both boys and girls have their own characteristics. The main thing that unites them is instincts. Even the most vulnerable man is guided by them, without knowing it.

To understand how to communicate with a guy, you need to remember about following parties his nature:

1. The man is a conqueror. Since the time of the first people, much has changed, except for one thing - the desire to dominate. Any man likes to feel like a winner, especially in the love sphere. Therefore, when communicating with a guy, you should not try to take a dominant position. You should not call several times a day and write flattering messages or fall asleep with invitations to dates - this limits a man. Thus, he may think that they are trying to control him, and, naturally, he will try to cut off any connection with you. The best way Remind yourself - show goodwill and care. Tell him what you remember last meeting, or inquire about his well-being and success. How to start talking to a guy? Pay attention.
2. Men's logic. Guys have a completely different type of thinking - they are more guided by logic than by feelings. Therefore, in a conversation with a man, excessive emotionality will be unnecessary. However, you should not imitate his manner of speech and try to become "your boyfriend." To communicate on male topics, he has friends.
3. Multitasking is not about them. Recent studies of the neural structure of the brain have revealed that the male brain is easier to cope with one-step tasks. Therefore, if a man eats or reads something, then he most likely will not hear your appeal.
4. Acute hearing. Men, unlike women, perceive the tone of sound very sharply. Therefore, it is important for them not what the girl says, but how she does it. When talking with a guy, you should follow the timbre of your voice: the softer it is, the more pleasant it is to hear.

If a person is silent, this does not mean that he does not like communicating with you. To neutralize the embarrassment of a partner, do not be shy to ask questions - this will facilitate contact and make the conversation more intense. You can start a conversation with a little reasoning aloud, which will involve and interest the interlocutor.

What to talk about with a man

Many girls, having noticed a handsome chosen one, ask themselves the question " how to start chatting with a guy you like?". Do not fall into a stupor at the sight of a man, because this is the same person as your girlfriend or friend. When communicating with him, you need to achieve the appearance of a natural and relaxed atmosphere.

Pledge strong relationship – common interests. Therefore, at the first conversation, do not hesitate to ask the guy questions about his hobbies and hobbies. It is important to understand what he likes, and then it will be easier to build communication.

You should not prepare in advance for a conversation with a man, but it will not be superfluous to find out what he is interested in. You do not need to understand sports or weapons, he has friends to communicate on these topics. However, if you are really knowledgeable in these topics, then you can support or supplement the conversation with your knowledge.

The best topics for a friendly conversation are:

• hobbies;
• literature;
• travels;
• cinema.

If the interlocutor likes science, you can talk with him on near-scientific topics. Discuss the existence of the UFO, or ask him about what he knows but you don't. A man likes to feel needed, so do not be afraid to once again ask for something to explain or tell.

Conquer from the first minutes

Many girls want to know how to communicate with a guy so that he will like him from the first minutes of the conversation.

All people are different, however, knowing a few simple rules, you can win over even the coldest guy:

1. Mystery Girl. Men love to conquer, and the longer the interlocutor guards her secrets, the better. You should not open up to a guy on the first date and talk about emotional wounds or former relationships.
2. Do not be shy. Modesty adorns a girl, but excessive isolation can get boring. If you are cheerful with your chosen one, this will endear him to you.
3. Know your worth. Even if the object of sighing drives you crazy, do not forget about own dignity. Pride is above everything.
4. Love yourself. Often women wonder, “why did the guy just stop talking?”. Often it is due to low self-esteem. Before trying to win the attention of a partner, you need to love yourself.
5. Stay feminine. When communicating, people tend to copy the behavior and speech patterns of the interlocutor, this helps to find mutual language. If a man’s vocabulary contains a lot of swear words or slang, you should not repeat after him, this is contrary to female nature. This behavior is not liked by the vast majority of men.
6. Be yourself. In pursuit of reciprocal feelings, you can forget about your own personality. So that further communication with a guy does not bring disappointment, you should not hide your own "I" behind masks.

In addition, each girl must maintain her independence. A man must understand that a partner is a self-sufficient person who is looking for an equal partner, and not consolation or a source of income. To understand how to communicate with ex-boyfriend, it is worth remembering his interests and hobbies. However, if there is no desire to renew a close relationship, discuss intimate matters not worth it.

Chatting in Internet

Increasingly, relationships begin with communication in in social networks. Such easy way finding a partner is very convenient, but often to interest someone regular correspondence is not easy. There are several simple tips how to communicate with a guy over the Internet.

To draw attention to yourself, it is enough to leave funny comment to the photo, but you should not “like” all the photos or posts on his social media page. If the guy doesn't respond to your attentions, don't be afraid to text first. Do not impose and start communication with banal phrases. Try to intrigue the interlocutor, show him how good a conversation is with a girl like you.

Another way to correctly interest a potential “victim” is to update photos on social networks. Men, as you know, love with their eyes, so a beautiful avatar will definitely interest your chosen one. This tip helps you understand how to properly communicate with a guy on the Internet without using words.

Even if a guy shows sympathy online, this does not indicate the seriousness of his intentions. Often, relationships on the Internet are regarded as light flirting, therefore, you should not swear to the chosen one in love without talking with him live.

In any situation, it is worth observing a few general recommendations that will help build interesting and long term relationship. How to learn to communicate with guys correctly?

Don't forget things like:

1. Appearance. At real meeting with a guy, you should not put kilograms of makeup on your face. You should make a simple make-up that will not attract all the attention. It should be made natural¸ unobtrusive.
2. Language of the body. During a date, it is important to monitor your posture and body movements. Arms crossed on the chest, rounded back, head bowed forward are unacceptable mistakes. It is important to constantly maintain your posture, not to take closed postures, to look for "moderate" eye contact. This does not mean that the guy needs to constantly look in the face. excessive visual contacts may repulse. Occasionally, you can correct naughty curls.
3. Perfume. It doesn't have to be cloyingly sweet. For romantic meeting aromas with notes of vanilla, lavender, musk are suitable.

« Why did the guy stop talking to me?» – frequently asked question, which girls who are victims of deception ask themselves. Often, the collapse of a relationship is provoked by a girl's inattention to her lover. To communicate productively with guys, you do not need to attend many hours of training.

What secrets will help you communicate properly with a man? How should a woman speak so that a man wants to hear her? What are the features male perception conversations?

The well-known expression that women love with their ears can also be applied to men. It's no secret that verbal communication brings a couple closer. At the same time, mistakes in communication can cross out any even the most passionate motives in a relationship.

What better not to tell a man

Try to remove from your vocabulary addressing a man in the format “zaya”, “baby”, “baby doll”. Most of the time it just annoys them. Many women have a passion for horoscopes and astrology. Men are not interested in this, and no more than 7% pay attention to predictions.

Avoid platitudes when you want to compliment your loved one. Don't be reminded of your former lovers. Try not to criticize his family and his mother. There is no need to constantly ask if he loves you. You can't criticize his gifts if you want him to give them to you at all.

And the most terrible mistakes - to criticize a man in front of strangers, to speak herself, and not to listen to him, to take over leadership functions from the very first dates.

How to talk to a man

All men, without exception, are united by the feeling self-importance. Raise his self-esteem, encourage and support - that's the main task every wise woman.

You think that you are not worthy to be near the status, strong man, and even more so to become the wife of such a person? All in your hands!Probability such relationships and further happy marriage builds onthree whales. Successful communication with men - rules and advice from an expert.

First whale : knowledge of the algorithm for searching and choosing your beloved man.

Second whale : Knowledge of the psychology of a successful man and building communication

Third whale : Own external and internal transformation

When communicating with successful men, you strictly need to follow certain rules.. If you make mistakes, sooner or later they will lead to a break in relations, and vice versa - competent behavior will give you the opportunity to win his heart and give your love by creating personal happiness for yourself and your dear husband.

Successful communication with men - rule 1. Watch the man

Are you going on a date to show off? This is mistake. You need to show the man that you appreciate him and start watching him . Analyze his non-verbal, try to determine the psychotype of your interlocutor.

Watch the man's behavior Where does he look - in your eyes or looks away? Are his postures open or is he completely enclosed? What is he interested in, what are his hobbies? If you see a bright person who gushes in every possible way and attracts attention to himself - be careful, perhaps this is an explosion of fireworks for one party, then it goes out, this is not the personality stability you need.

Look for the strong. They will not stick themselves out, shout: "Here I am!" - these are people with inner dignity, self-confident, who do not need to prove anything to the environment.

Learn to distinguish by gestures who is the leader here. These are the skills that you can develop in yourself.

Rule 2. Analyze observations

Many women, having figured out the alpha male of the event, get to know each other and then simply passively wait for his call. But initially you need something else: analyze what this person is doing here Here and now? What is his mood and how do you work with all this to create maximum amount your points of intersection with him?

your own activity will be key here, otherwise you will simply be passively expecting acquaintances and wasting your precious time. Try to understand the purpose of his coming to this event, does he want to make new promising business contacts or meet his beloved woman, which is not uncommon in this environment of single businessmen?

See where his eyes are directed - at the ladies around him or at the search for partnerships for his business?

Rule 3. Derive the formula of his actions

Watch and analyze! The man is in a passive state or takes the initiative in his own hands ? Look at his reaction in the direction of the women he likes: does he lower the situation or control it? How will it be most beneficial for you to behave with him - to walk nearby, attracting and calling him for communication, or to ask something first, most? Or just wait for his first steps, if he is objectively active? Correct answers to these questions will be key in possible future relationships.

You can attract attention with your non-verbalism, you can give signals of interest with your eyes, looking away and realizing that a man who is interested in you will understand and begin to act in the direction of acquaintance. Provocations take place to be very different, but initially observe and try to understand what type of behavior is closer to him.

One can lure, the other can hunt.

Rule 4. Draw a formula for your actions

You must have worked out reaction and ready-made phrases for the first contact with a man who likes you. You must control the process, not sit with your head on the phone, not drown in conversations in a crowd of your noisy girlfriends . You shouldn't be taken by surprise or run into a closed state.

A woman who is not “on the alert”, is relaxed, withdrawn into herself, often frightened by a man who opens his interest towards her. And instead of show him your strong energy , slams shut like a clam into its shell, blocks the flow and "freezes" both itself and the interested man.

Confident worthy woman does not pinch or swallow your tongue.

Rule 5. Listen to what a man says or broadcasts

For successful communication it is necessary imbued with the interests of the interlocutor. Listen and observe, if this is a more businesslike conversation and you are not a leading expert in this field, you should not try to switch his attention to yourself. If a man talks about a hobby, smokes a cigar, drinks whiskey, is relaxed, on this pleasant wave, you can beautifully weave into the conversation.

And even more so, you need to show competent activity if a man is oriented towards female attention, jokes, makes compliments. He is in a certain mood and can be successfully used.

It is necessary to clearly understand at what point in a winning state, and when you are completely out of place.

Successful communication with men - rule 6. Catch his wave

Learn empathy feel the mood of a man, his internal state . Is he serious? Mirror his seriousness. Is he playful? Play back. Be his double, imbued with his emotions, feel with all the fibers of your soul what he feels now.

Do not think that you will be a chameleon, subject to your environment - quite the opposite, you are rather a Trojan horse that can get into the very depths of his consciousness.

You are adjusting to understand the person and to communicate harmoniously, and not to erase your personality.

Rule 7. Understand his point of view

A conversation has begun, contact has been established, your interlocutor is talking about something, talking to you on a particular topic - be careful! Successful men just don't say anything, with no purpose, just to chat. They always know what they mean and why they take certain steps.

Why does he say these words to you? What reaction does he want or expect from you? Perhaps he provokes you, tests you? Pulling the strings, testing the strength of emotional intelligence?

Calculate your correct reaction, do not disappoint or repulse the interlocutor.

... no doubt, to be worthy - you have to learn!

Impossible to imitate by temporarily appearing "the same» — a smart status man will quickly identify a fake. You need to work on yourself, learn to be worthy, grow as a person.

Happiness is near - open your palms and take it!

But it is impossible to find your prince sitting on the stove and doing nothing for it. Whoever wants happiness, he clearly goes to his goal, and in order to know the right direction, you need to use the experience and knowledge of specialists. Do you know the famous expression?

If the blind lead the blind, sooner or later both will end up in a hole. .

I am the selection expert ideal partner for relationships, helped to happily marry successful men many graduates. I know techniques that work. I have been the guest of honor at many weddings. And you can be one of them by believing in yourself!

This is my life mission. I feel real happiness when you find your love! I sincerely want each of you to meet your man and create a successful family with him, based on trust and mutual understanding.

A typical female complaint: "It's impossible to talk to him!" So I am often told in response to my proposal to discuss difficult issues of relations at the negotiating table.

Often the complaint is expanded: “I come, I want to talk, but he avoids talking, avoids, does not want to discuss and does not go to talk. How then to be? How to talk to my husband about money, children, sex, my mother, his mother, car, repairs, garbage, add what you need.

Well, I have something to answer. Hold.

Important warning. Just in case, I note that the note is addressed to women, so I talk a lot about the peculiarities and mistakes of women's behavior. It may seem that I am on the side of men. So, I inform you that both partners are equally involved in creating problems in a relationship.

However, the note is addressed to women, and therefore the accents are placed accordingly. If you're worried about your feelings, don't read any further. If so, I warned you.

Instructions "How to talk with a man about difficult issues"

Preamble. Why is the man not talking? Because - experience. Experience tells us that such a conversation will not end well. Men know how a woman will build this conversation and try to avoid it - for the sake of self-preservation. This is not the smartest policy (and I put it mildly), but since many men follow it, you have to do something with what you have.

The task of a woman is to speak differently. Then negative experience will gradually be supplemented by positive experience. And a man will eventually stop shying away from difficult conversations.

Let's get started.

1. Pick a time.

People love to talk not when the other can hear them, but when they want to talk. At men's trainings, participants often described in colors: “I come home from work late, I fall down, I don’t even have dinner - I go to bed right away, and she is dear to me, we need to talk.”

Right - not right. That's right - choose the time when the man woke up, when he doesn't need to go anywhere, when he can listen and think. Saturday evening, Sunday morning - often the best time for a conversation.

Of course, everything is individual for people, and it’s time for someone on Monday night, but this does not change the rules - on difficult topics talk when a man has time and energy to talk.

2. Start with the essentials.

People (especially women) love to start from afar, with abundant details and long digressions, and a man (especially when the topic of conversation is not simple) is infuriated.

Mainly because he does not understand what information is important and what is not, and what the woman is getting at. The brain begins to furiously put forward hypotheses, the head boils and after a while it explodes. A headless man is not physically capable of talking, as you understand.

How to be? Say the most important thing first. Do you want to talk about his attitude towards your mother? So say - "dear, I want to talk about your attitude towards my mother." Do you want to know about long hair on the lapel of his jacket? So say "I want to know about the long hair on the lapel of your jacket."

No need to add courage to yourself, swing and pull the rubber. Get straight to the point.

3. Clearly formulate the theses.

Often it is simply not clear what a woman wants. First, she talks about her friend, whose husband bought a fur coat. Then - about the luxurious rest of his colleague. Then he jumps to reproaches in insufficient attention. And then - complains that she has nothing to wear. In general, a man can not understand in any way - what she wants from him.

Moreover, the woman does not answer direct questions. And if he answers, then mostly with reproaches “You don’t love me” and tears.

Plus, a woman treats facts strangely - a man does not give her flowers “never”, and those that he gives “do not count”. This finishes the man off.

Why do women do this? No malicious intent - they start a conversation not to decide something, but to speak out (as in the Ural dumplings joke: “I bought this dress not to wear, but to buy”).

In fact, the woman is thinking while talking. That is why her end of the conversation can be in no way connected with the beginning. Just in the course of the dialogue, the train of thought has changed. It’s the same with men, it’s just that we have a worse command of the word, so we first try to think everything over, as it should, pick up words, and only then speak.

It can be even funnier - many women understand what they wanted from the conversation, only in the morning after the conversation. Of course, the man understands even later. The thing is natural, but it infuriates a man.

In addition, women often confine themselves to stating a fact. “You work a lot”, “We don’t go anywhere”, “You don’t respect me as a person”, and so on. Sometimes it is clear from the statement what a woman wants, but more often you have to guess. Since not everyone can guess, the conversation is infuriating. Few people like to feel like an idiot.

Fortunately, this can be fixed. Sit down and do a little work. Write down your theses as if preparing for a report. Clearly define priorities, formulate points, place accents, write down solutions.

When your thought is formulated specifically and clearly, it will be easier to convey it, and the man will participate in the conversation more willingly.

Conclusion

Even if your man avoids talking, there is a chance to build bridges and still start discussing the difficult moments of your relationship. Follow this instruction, and your man will gradually get used to talking to you about the most difficult things.

Note for men. Actually, guys, you can show a little patience and listen to the woman you love. Even if she does not follow this instruction. They say that if people love each other, they tend to take steps towards each other. Am I making it clear?

I have everything, thank you for your attention.