A man has problems how to support at a distance. How to support a man in a difficult situation, what words to cheer him up? How to avoid mistakes while doing this? When Women's Support Is Needed

08.04.2019

It's hard to argue with the opinion that great men make brilliant wives. This is actually true: not only the atmosphere in the house depends on the woman, but also the mental attitude, energy potential her lover. Wise woman should know what words to support a man who suddenly finds himself in difficult situation and how to really help him.

The rules are pretty simple.

If a man is clearly not in the mood, frowns, nervous, answers questions sharply and briefly, and generally behaves unusually, you don’t need to go to him with questions. Obsession will cause irritation, and instead of constructive communication, an unnecessary scandal will result.
Main Rule crisis situation- freeze and do nothing sudden movements. Behave as usual, do not get into the soul, but observe the situation. Give your husband time, ensure silence, lack of fuss and delicious dinner. If he wants to talk, he will come. All you have to do is guess right. non-verbal cues: furrowed brows or ambiguous phrases.
But if the silence dragged on, you must definitely show your participation. This should be done as delicately as possible. For example, say: “I see something happened, it’s hard and bad for you. I'm here, you can always count on me when you're ready to talk. I will do anything to help you because I love you." No one knows your man better than you, and only you can choose Right words.
You can indicate your closeness, readiness to help without words, just by being nearby. Lie down or sit down, doing something unobtrusive: a book, tablet, handmade (but only if it does not annoy your husband!).
If he does not mind, you can do a light massage of the back, head, feet. Physical contact brings together and relieves stress at the same time.

The main thing is to show that you understand the complexity of the situation, respect any decision of a man and are ready to help both in deed and in word.

What not to do

What a man definitely does not need is female pity, obsession, excessive sugary tenderness, chatter and stupid fuss. Sympathy and pity are completely different things. The first is constructive and beneficial, gives strength to act and solve the problem, the second is meaningless and destructive.

There is no need to try to relieve tension with artificial liveliness or, God forbid, with unhealthy irony. Both can cause an explosion of aggression, irritation.

It is necessary to take into account both the situation as a whole and individual nuances: the nature of the beloved, temperament, state of health. To understand how to properly support a man, you need to imagine the area of \u200b\u200blife in which the trouble occurred. Picking up right strategy behavior, you can save harmonious relationship and strengthen your intimacy.

In the article you will learn:

Words of support in difficult times for a man to cheer up

I welcome everyone! To be able to support with words is a whole art! After all, you can endlessly lament nearby, and a person will not feel better, but worse. Or, on the contrary, you can say that the wings will spread, strength and the desire to move on will appear. This article is for those who are looking forwords of support in difficult times for a man.

Does the man himself want to be supported? If the family in which he grew up was emotionally cold and support was not welcome, then in adult life a man like that would never ask for her.

Moreover, if you say something inappropriately, it will cause bewilderment, misunderstanding and irritation. You can be morally pushed away at this moment and say, for example, “ I don't need your pity". And indeed it is. A man does not need pity, but encouragement on an equal footing, the sympathy of an adult for an adult can work wonders with him.

After all, it’s difficult alone, and male friends are stingy in showing sympathy. Unless together they are significantly silent or quit short phrases with a call not to despair, to fight, to strive. Therefore, who, if not a woman, is able to alleviate pain in the heart and confusion in the head.

Pity is poison

Just as water wears away a stone, so pity wears away any strength of a man. Imagine if you often say that you are poor, tired, rest, lie down. Eat more densely, why strain. Sooner or later, all your plans will go by the wayside, the first will be to relax, be lazy, relax, everything is fine anyway.

For the stronger sex, this poison is many times more harmful. Since a man bears much more responsibility, he is responsible for the condition of the family, for its resources and livelihoods. If you feel sorry for him motherly as a child, then he may well turn into a rag. There is no motivation to move forward. Only do not confuse pity and care, it's different.

Therefore, words of support should exclude pitiful statements - no “unfortunate poor fellow” and other lisping. If a man has not coped with some task, do not emphasize like, okay, it’s better to take a break from worries, why do you need it. So you can also lower self-esteem, and this threatens to destroy your relationship.

It is foolish for a man to deny the obvious. The goal was set and different reasons not reached. But you must show empathy in the way that you believe that yourloved onecan find ways now or later to achieve not this, but another goal. That he will cope in any case, that he has all the strength and capabilities for this.

No consolation

Avoid comforting phrases like " Well, it’s okay that you were fired, but you can rest at home for a week while you look for a job. ”. This is also useless, because it is close to pity and gives no reason to strive further and be inspired by new plans. And it helps to come to terms with failure and abandon further struggle.

Cheer on time

If the failure is small (the car broke down, some plans were canceled), then cheer up shake the humorcheer up- would be a very good move. Many things in life need to be looked at more simply and not taken to heart. But if your close person sad, because a serious trouble has occurred, then to amuse, especially artificially and feignedly, will be inappropriate and will cause double irritation.

Don't try to please

Often women try to soften the blow with some amenities, trying to appease and distract. Such a maneuver is very good with a woman, but it will not inspire men. They are very rational and understand that all your "stuff" is simulated, and once again remember what prompted it. That is, you will achieve the opposite effect.

Unnecessary questions

Questions about what upset and why such a mood, depressing even more. Because many are ashamed to admit to a woman some of their failures. It will upset and force you to close in on yourself. But for women, this technique is very good. Since it is easier for us if we tell, cry, discuss everything in detail.

You can kindly say that ready to listen if the man wants it. If he remains silent, then he does not need it. It is enough to say that you believe in his strength and whatever happens you are there, support, and most importantly, you know that he will do everything in the best possible way.

Showdown

The most blunder will be offended by his silence. Make you talk and even more ask “it was you who took offense at me”, “something connected with me”? Now he is not up to you at all and switching to trying to justify himself to you will only bring trouble. Now there is a process of digestion, and for this we need strength. And spending them on you is unproductive.

How to support when it's hard

Now you know what mistakes not to make and you are ready to learn how to maintain:

If you met your man darker than the clouds, act like you normally do. Don't jump like a dragonfly around him, but don't show it either.
If he answers with one-syllable phrases. Does not make contact, does not ask, then do not pester him. Go about your business, warning him. Give him a chance to be alone and do not interfere every 10 minutes for all sorts of imaginary reasons.
If you feel good about each other and are used to being there in moments of sadness, shut up next to him, give him a massage, do not chat, but let him feel that now he is not alone, but his wife is still loving.
Ask a question, how can you help him. Maybe go somewhere or do something. If nothing, then say something like this: I am ready to help, I know that you are a smart, strong, determined man, and therefore, if something bad happened now, you will fix everything or do it in such a way that you will change the situation in your favor "
If it happened death of a loved one, then at this moment your spiritual help is needed more than ever. Hug him so he can feel you human warmth or pat on the back. Say the words "Be strong, hold on, be of good cheer." Words of consolation will not help, you will not return the loss. The task is to find the strength to cope with the pain. Invite him to cry, go to church.

In fact, if you really empathize and sympathize, then at this terrible moment it does not matter what to say. The main thing is that you have the experience of suffering and you truly understand your loved one, then your words will be filled with the very spiritual meaning that he needs so much. And than faster man will cry and throw out his emotions, the faster he will live his grief. Help him with this.

I hope my article was helpful to you. Appreciate and trust each other. Your June.

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Words of support are not just sympathy, thanks to them you express your participation in the problems, troubles and grief of another person. Of course, there are no standard phrase blanks that will be correct in certain situation, fit man or woman, grandma or young man. It is very important that the words come from the heart, are permeated with your feelings, but you should not forget about some human factors either.

For example, be prepared that someone who is worried about something may react differently to your words, be more quick-tempered, not compromise, etc. In addition, words that will calm nervous system women may be misunderstood by men and vice versa. Therefore, it is necessary to observe not only tolerance, correctness and subordination, but also take into account the peculiarities of this situation.

Your soulmate should always feel your support, because you are a support for her in a difficult situation, a vest in grief and a person with whom they share happiness. Be sure to say again about your feelings, repeat that there are two of you, and it is easier to overcome any difficulties together.

Be sure to express your feelings:

"It hurts me to see you upset"
"I'm just as worried as you are."

This wording brings you closer, makes the conversation more frank and creates a trusting atmosphere. And if you can't pick the right words or you see that the words are superfluous now - just stay close. Sometimes no words can replace the presence of a loved one.

Words to a man in difficult times

Men react much more sharply to life's troubles, believing that they are responsible for everything, because they have been taught this way since childhood. But in fact, there are situations when the man’s fault is not in what happened, but he still reproaches himself. In this case, you need to be as gentle as possible, not persistently and not aggressively (after all, we remember that upset people are prone to unexpected reactions to any of our words), to convince the man that you do not need to blame yourself.

Suitable phrases:

"Your fault this case No",
“This is a combination of circumstances independent of you,” etc.

It is important to help a man stop self-flagellation and start looking for a solution to the problem.

Never express your sympathy through the adjectives "poor", "unfortunate", do not say that you are so sorry for him. On the contrary, you need to encourage him with phrases about how strong he is in spirit, that he vital energy enough to deal with more difficult tasks. If you say that a man is very smart and will find a way out of this situation, then his ambitions simply will not let him sit in one place with a sad expression on his face. To confirm your words, the man will begin to act.

Woman - support in your own words

A woman, on the contrary, must first be reassured, perhaps later you won’t have to look for solutions to problems, everything can go away with hysteria. Finding words of support is very important in such a situation. For example, if the reason for a bad mood is a breakup with a man, then compliment her attractive appearance say she good hostess and still quite young.

Well, if the situation allows you to be distracted and do other things, walking, entertainment, cooking new dishes - all this can distract a woman from sad thoughts.

Girl - words in difficult times

Young girls in stressful situations can do extremely stupid things. Therefore, it is important not only to calm them down and distract them from the problem, but also to isolate them from important matters and tasks as much as possible. Try to dip a young lady in the sea positive emotions, avoid standard phrases: “Everything will be fine”, “Everything will pass”, “I sympathize”, etc. They will only aggravate the situation.

Be sure to try to talk to the girl about how she feels, to help release all of her negative emotions, and then set it up in a positive way or help find a way out of a difficult problem for her.

A friend who is in a difficult situation

To whom, no matter how best friend, the girl in a difficult situation will address? Of course, initially you need to listen to your girlfriend, especially if you see that a person wants to speak out. The presentation of the problem relieves the soul and helps to look at the problem from the outside. Words of consolation, advice - what the girl obviously wants to hear in response, so do not hesitate to express your constructive thought, just remember that in this situation you need to present your position gently and not persistently.

SMS to a person in difficult times

If you suddenly found out about the problem of a close person you just know, and there is no way to be near him, then you can always send short message with words of support. No need for long epithets about your sympathy.

Sometimes just texting is enough:

“I know what happened. You can always count on my help."

These two sentences are rather short, but their meaning will be clear immediately. Don't expect an instant response, the person may need certain time to decide to ask you for support or just to talk about their problem. But when your loved one knows that you are ready to share the burden of the situation with him, immediately the world will seem a little rosier to him.

Words of support in prose

Even if you send a message with words of support to social network or by phone, let them be better in prose. So, you express your words sincerely and in an accessible way. Otherwise, the recipient may get the impression that instead of a call or a personal visit, you searched for a rhyme on the Internet, and then simply copied it and sent it. This will spoil the impression of even the most sincere empathy.

Be close to a loved one during his joy and share the burden of trouble with him. After all, together you are stronger! And find for him exactly those words that convey your true feelings.

In life, we often face various obstacles. It can be job loss, illness, death of a family member, financial troubles. At such a moment, it is difficult for a person to find the strength in himself and move on. He so lacks support at this moment, a friendly shoulder, warm words. How to choose the right words of support that can really help a person in difficult times?

Expressions that should not be used

There are a number of familiar phrases that are the first to come to mind when you need to support someone. These words should not be spoken:

Don't worry!

Everything is formed! Everything will be fine!

At the moment when the world collapsed, it sounds like a mockery. A person is faced with the fact that he does not know how to solve his problem. He needs to figure out how to fix things. He is not sure that the situation will turn in his favor, and he will be able to stay afloat. So, how will the empty statement that everything will work out help? All the more blasphemous are such words if your friend has lost a loved one.

Do not Cry!

Tears are natural way body to cope with stress. It is necessary to give a person a cry, to speak out, to give vent to emotions. He will feel better. Just hug and be there.

No need to cite as an example people who are even worse

A person who has lost his job and has nothing to feed his family does not care that somewhere in Africa children are starving. Someone who has just learned about a serious diagnosis is not very interested in the statistics of deaths from cancer. It is also not necessary to give examples that relate to mutual acquaintances.

When trying to support a loved one, remember that in this moment he is mentally depressed by his problem. It is necessary to carefully select expressions so as not to accidentally offend or touch on a sore subject. Let's find out how to support a person.

Words to Help You Get Through the Tipping Point

When our loved ones find themselves in difficult situations, we are lost and often do not know how to behave. Indeed, what was said in right moment words can inspire, comfort, restore faith in yourself. The following phrases will help to feel your support:

We will get through this together.

IN heavy moment It is important to know that you are not alone. Let a loved one feel that you care about his grief and that you are ready to share all the difficulties with him.

I understand how you feel.

When you're in trouble, it's important to be heard. It's good to have someone around who understands you. If you have been in a similar situation, please tell us about it. Share your thoughts, emotions at that moment. But no need to tell how you heroically coped with the situation. Just make it clear that you were in your friend's place. But you survived it, and he can handle it too.

Time will pass and it will get easier.

Indeed, this is a fact. We will not remember many of the troubles in life that happened to us a year or two ago. All troubles remain in the past. Sooner or later, we find a replacement for a betrayed friend or unhappy love. Financial problems are also gradually being solved. Can be found new job, pay off a loan, cure an illness or relieve its symptoms. Even the sadness of the death of a loved one passes with time. It is important to get over the moment of shock and move on.

You've been in worse situations. Nothing, you did it!

Surely your friend has already encountered life's obstacles and found a way out of them. Remind him that he is a strong, courageous person and is able to solve any problem. Cheer him up. Show him that he can survive this difficult moment with dignity.

You are not to blame for what happened.

Feeling guilty about what happened is the first thing that prevents you from taking a sober look at the situation. Let your loved one know that this is how the circumstances developed and that anyone else could be in his place. It makes no sense to look for those responsible for the trouble, you need to try to solve the problem.

Is there something I can do for you?

Perhaps your friend needs help, but he does not know who to turn to. Or he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it. Take the initiative.

Say that you admire his endurance and fortitude.

When a person is morally depressed by difficult circumstances, such words inspire. They are able to restore a person's faith in their own strength.

Don't worry, I'll be right there!

These are the most important words that each of us wants to hear at a turning point. Everyone needs someone close and understanding next to them. Do not leave dear person alone!

Help your friend come up with a sense of humor about the situation. Every drama has a bit of comedy. Lighten up the situation. Laugh together at the girl who left him, or at the pompous director who fired him from his job. This will allow you to look at the situation in a more optimistic way. After all, everything can be solved and corrected while we are alive.

The best support is to be there

The main thing we say is not with words, but with our actions. A sincere hug, a handkerchief or napkin served on time, a glass of water can say more than you think.

Take on some of the household chores. Provide all possible assistance. After all, at the moment of shock, a person is not even able to cook dinner, go to the grocery store, pick up children from kindergarten. If your friend has lost a family member, help arrange the funeral. Make the necessary arrangements and just be there.

Smoothly switch the person's attention to something mundane, not related to his grief. Keep him busy with something. Invite to the cinema, order pizza. Find an excuse to go outside and take a walk.

Sometimes silence is better than any, even the most sincere words. Listen to your friend, let him speak, express his emotions. Let him talk about his pain, about how he is confused, depressed. Don't interrupt him. Let him speak his problem out loud as many times as necessary. This will help to look at the situation from the outside, to see solutions. And you just be close to a loved one in a difficult moment for him.

Olga, St. Petersburg

Sometimes life gives a guy unexpected unpleasant surprises, and it is so important that in difficult moments there was a person nearby who could provide such necessary support. Of course, at such moments, intuition comes to the aid of many women, but not always and not everyone will find the right words and way of communication.

In some cases, wanting to help and not understanding how to do it correctly, you can even harm and aggravate the already serious condition close person. Therefore, it is so important to have an idea of \u200b\u200bhow to support a guy and help him survive difficulties.

It is easy for any girl to determine the moments when her boyfriend is not in a good mood. All people are different, and each needs its own approach, which a loved one can always feel. General rules behaviors will help you navigate difficult moments and provide such important support.

Create a cozy home environment in which the guy can relax. Take care of him, prepare favorite dish, turn on good music, do a relaxing massage, take a bath with aromatic oils or ask to see interesting film. Leave him alone with you or doing what you love. It is important that the guy feels that the house is a place where he is loved, appreciated, expected and allowed to be himself.
Radiate optimism and confidence that all problems will be solved in the future, even if you yourself believe in it with difficulty. The guy should feel your faith in him.
Try to help unobtrusive advice, smoothly bring him to the solution of the problem or push him to specific actions, but so that he makes the choice of the solution himself.
For some people, it is important to take a break from the problem for a while and switch their attention to something else, so suggest a walk in the park, go to the cinema or theater.
It is important for many people to speak out, after which it becomes easier on the soul, and options for solving the problem appear. In this case, become an attentive and patient listener, do not interrupt him and say a few words of support at the end.
Do not let your boyfriend fall into a long-term depression, support him psychologically, because love can work wonders, and tenderness and affection are its best helpers.

Tell him important words of support that will help comfort him during difficult periods:

It is not your fault;
Your decision will certainly bear fruit;
You will definitely succeed.

No matter how independent and strong a man is, he needs your support and expects it from you - be sensitive.

How to support a guy during an illness

Health problems are hard to bear for everyone. In such cases, do not show pity, try to comic form cheer up a sick guy and set him up for speedy recovery. Knowing that his presence is missed by friends and loved ones will be a support - feel free to say it. Switch your attention to what he will do when he is cured. Plan Together an amusing trip to a long-awaited place or an interesting walk.

How not to behave

Many girls feeling Bad mood a guy, not understanding how to behave correctly, can do even more harm in such situations. What can't be done?