Conflict-free communication with children of different ages. Features of communication of preschool children. Plan for the organization of conflict-free communication for preschool children
Today, our society sets a task for teachers, psychologists and parents: to develop children's ability to communicate, understand the feelings of other people, sympathize with them, respond adequately in difficult situations, find a way out of conflicts, in general, teach children to manage their behavior.
Educators and teachers devote more and more time to restless, aggressive children, establish more and more strict rules, but this, in turn, leads to stiffness, restriction of communication between the teacher and the children. As a result, children have less opportunity to master the communication skills necessary for conflict-free relationships with people around them.
I believe that conflicts that arise in a children's team are easier to prevent than to resolve. The most promising is the prevention of conflicts in the early stages, that is, at the stage of their inception. The task of adults is to see signs of an emerging conflict, namely: clashes between children, violation of discipline, name-calling, harassment, violation of rules in games, alienation of the child from the group, prolonged clarification of relations, and try to prevent them. It is important for adults who work with children to pay attention to each of them and take measures to prevent an impending conflict, try to replace unwanted behavioral tendencies and rebuild them not by order, but by psychological means.
I have developed a developmental program, the purpose of which is to develop interpersonal skills in older children preschool age teaching them to get out of conflict situations, increasing the competence of educators and parents in the organization of conflict-free interaction of children.
To achieve this goal, the following tasks were set:
1. Teach children to manage their own behavior (relieve stress, get rid of anger, irritability).
2. To teach the skills of conflict-free interaction, the development and enrichment of forms of communication with peers.
3. To acquaint children with the characteristics of emotional states inherent in a person, to form the ability to recognize them by external signals (facial expressions, gestures).
4. To develop in children the ability to understand the emotional state of another and be able to express their own.
5. To increase self-esteem, self-confidence, to form an adequate attitude both towards oneself and others.
In my classes I try to create a warm, sincere atmosphere, I spend them in a playful way according to a certain scheme, consisting of several stages: preparatory, main and final. V preparatory stage I include exercises to release from speech and muscle clamps, which enable the child to release from tension and loosen up: "Joy", "Barbell", "Repeat after me", "Mirror", "Quarreled", "Go away, anger", "Two ram "," Silver Hoof" etc. The main stage of the classes is aimed at the development of interpersonal communication, rallying the children's team, at the formation adequate self-esteem and increasing self-confidence includes next games and exercises to relieve emotional tension and aggressive manifestations: “Over the Bumps”, “Blind Guide”, “Compliment”, “Centipede”, “Wind blows on…”, “Swearing with vegetables”, “Princess-Nesmeyana”, etc. At the final stage, the analysis of work with statements by children about successes and failures during classes is carried out, the changes that have appeared in children are emphasized.
In the course of classes and at the time of their completion, I track the effectiveness of work by assessing changes in the behavior and activities of each pupil, his emotional well-being (the method of determining self-esteem "Who am I?") By comparing the position of the child among peers before and after the work done.
It should be noted that the program includes not only work with children, but also with parents and educators. Forms of work on psychological education varied: these are lectures and conversations on the topics "Conflicts between preschoolers", "Let's live together!", "Emotions and feelings", "Anxious child", "Learning to communicate", as well as speeches at methodological meetings parenting meetings, group and individual consultations in this area. A workshop-workshop “Conflict-free interaction of preschoolers” was developed for educators, where teachers expand the range of methods and techniques for working with children to develop skills for resolving conflict situations.
To improve the educational experience of parents and their parental competence, the preschool educational institution uses such a form of work as a "Round Table", where we consider and openly discuss current problems of raising children. Parents whose children attend correctional classes and learn the skills of conflict-free interaction are invited to the roundtable meetings. We discuss the behavior of children, their emotional state before and after developmental activities.
The effectiveness of the work carried out is confirmed by the results of diagnostics and conversations with parents. Our work on teaching older preschoolers the skills of conflict-free interaction showed that most children mastered the skills of resolving their conflict situations, learned to interact with their peers, without conflict, to resolve artificially created conflict situations. In children, the range of understanding of emotional states expanded, empathic manifestations in relation to others began to be observed more often.
INTRODUCTION
When communicating with children of middle preschool age, conflicts often arise. Different children behave differently in these situations. In the process of independent and successful resolution of conflicts that arise in the inner (mental) world of the child and in his relationship with the outside world (in communication and interaction with others), the child's personality develops.
Conflicts also play a positive role. Conflict manifestations in childhood contribute to the resolution of emerging problem situations and the active entry of children into social conditions. Conflict manifestations change in accordance with the development of the main types of activity: communication, play and teaching, i.e. due to age and the success of the formation of the personality as a whole.
For the most complete development of the child's personality, his socialization, it is necessary to know the causes of conflicts, the interaction of children in conflict situations and methods for resolving conflict situations in preschool children.
Purpose of the work: to analyze the styles of conflict interaction of children of middle preschool age.
Object: conflict interaction of children of middle preschool age.
Subject: styles of conflict interaction of children of middle preschool age.
1. To analyze the age-related psychological characteristics of children of middle preschool age.
2. Define the concepts: "conflict", "conflict interaction", "styles of conflict interaction".
3. Describe the specifics of conflicts in the middle preschool age.
4. Analyze the styles of conflict interaction of children of middle preschool age.
Methods: to achieve the set tasks, the following methods are used: empirical methods (study of literature on conflict interaction of preschool children, setting up a pedagogical experiment on the interaction of children in a conflict situation), theoretical methods (analysis of the results of a pedagogical experiment, analysis of literature).
The practical significance of the study lies in the possibility of using the data obtained as a result of the analysis in practice in order to regulate the conflict interaction of children of middle preschool age.
CHAPTER 1. PSYCHOLOGICAL FEATURES OF MIDDLE PRESCHOOL CHILDREN
The main groups of mental processes are:
1) cognitive (sensation and perception, memory, imagination and thinking);
2) emotional (feelings, emotions);
3) strong-willed (motives, aspirations, desires, decision-making)
The driving forces of the development of the psyche of a preschooler are contradictions that arise in connection with the development of a number of his needs. The most important of them: the need for communication, with the help of which social experience is assimilated; the need for external impressions, resulting in the development of cognitive abilities, as well as the need for movement, leading to the mastery of a whole system of various skills and abilities. The development of leading social needs in preschool age is characterized by the fact that each of them acquires an independent meaning.
The need for communication with adults and peers determines the formation of the child's personality. Communication with adults develops on the basis of the increasing independence of the preschooler, expanding his acquaintance with the surrounding reality. At this age, speech becomes the leading means of communication. In the middle preschool age, a personal form of communication arises, characterized by the fact that the child actively seeks to discuss with an adult the behavior and actions of other people and his own from the point of view of moral norms.
An essential role in the formation of a child's personality is played by the need to communicate with peers, in whose circle he is from the first years of life. All kinds of relationships can develop between children. Therefore, it is very important that the child, from the very beginning of his stay in a preschool institution, gains a positive experience of cooperation and mutual understanding. In the third year of life, relationships between children arise mainly on the basis of their actions with objects and toys. These actions take on a joint, interdependent character. By the senior preschool age in joint activities children are already learning following forms cooperation: alternate and coordinate actions; perform one operation together; control the actions of the partner, correct his mistakes; help a partner, do part of his work; accept the partner's comments, correct their mistakes.
The activity of a preschooler is diverse: play, drawing, construction, elements of work and learning, in which the child's activity is manifested. Role-playing is the leading activity of the preschooler. The essence of play as a leading activity lies in the fact that children reflect in play various aspects of life, features of the activities and relationships of adults, acquire and refine their knowledge of the surrounding reality, master the position of the subject of activity on which it depends. In the playing team, they have a need to regulate relationships with peers, norms of moral behavior are formed, moral feelings are manifested. In play, children are active, creatively transform what they have perceived earlier, more freely and better control their behavior. They develop behavior mediated by the image of another person. As a result of constant comparison of his behavior with the behavior of another person, the child has the opportunity to better understand himself, his I. Thus, role play has a great influence on the formation of his personality.
At preschool age, elements of labor appear in the child's activities. In work, his moral qualities, a sense of collectivism, and respect for people are formed. At the same time, it is very important that he experiences positive feelings that stimulate the development of interest in work. Through direct participation in it and in the process of observing the work of adults, the preschooler gets acquainted with operations, tools, types of labor, acquires skills and abilities. At the same time, he develops arbitrariness and purposefulness of actions, volitional efforts grow, curiosity and observation are formed. Engaging the preschooler in labor activity, constant guidance from an adult is an indispensable condition for the all-round development of the child's psyche. Learning has a great influence on mental development.
In preschool age, under the influence of education and upbringing, there is an intensive development of all cognitive mental processes. This refers to sensory development.
Sensory development is the improvement of sensations, perceptions, visual representations... In children, the thresholds of sensation are reduced. The acuity of vision and the accuracy of color differentiation increase, the phonemic and sound-pitch hearing develops, and the accuracy of estimates of the weight of objects increases significantly. As a result of sensory development, the child masters perceptual actions, the main function of which is to examine objects and isolate the most characteristic properties in them, as well as in the assimilation of sensory standards, generally accepted samples of sensory properties and relations of objects. The most accessible sensory standards for a preschooler are geometric shapes(square, triangle, circle) and spectrum colors. Sensory standards are formed in activity. Modeling, drawing, designing most of all contribute to the acceleration of sensory development.
Preschooler thinking as well as others cognitive processes, has a number of features. Children of this age do not yet know how to single out essential connections in objects and phenomena and draw generalizing conclusions. During preschool age, the child's thinking changes significantly. This is primarily expressed in the fact that he masters new ways of thinking and mental actions. Its development takes place in stages, and each previous level is necessary for the next. Thinking develops from the visual-efficient to the figurative. Then, on the basis of figurative thinking, the figurative-schematic begins to develop, which represents an intermediate link between figurative and logical thinking. Figurative-schematic thinking makes it possible to establish connections and relationships between objects and their properties. The child begins to master scientific concepts in the process of learning at school, but, as studies show, it is already possible to form full-fledged concepts in preschool children. This happens if they are given an external similarity (means) corresponding to a given group of objects or their properties. For example, to measure the length - a measure (a strip of paper). With the help of a measure, the child first performs an external orienting action, which is later internalized. The development of his thinking is closely related to speech. In the younger preschool age, in the third year of life, speech accompanies the child's practical actions, but it does not yet fulfill the planning function. At 4 years old, children are able to imagine the course of a practical action, but they do not know how to tell about the action that needs to be performed. In the middle preschool age, speech begins to precede the implementation of practical actions, helps to plan them. However, at this stage, images remain the basis of mental action. Only at the next stage of development is the child able to solve practical problems, planning them with verbal reasoning.
During the preschool age, further development of memory occurs, it is more and more allocated from perception. In early preschool age, recognition plays a significant role in the development of memory during the repeated perception of an object. But the ability to reproduce is becoming increasingly important. In middle and older preschool age, fairly complete representations of memory appear. The intensive development of figurative memory continues.
The development of a child's memory is characterized by a movement from the figurative to the verbal-logical. The development of voluntary memory begins with the emergence and development of voluntary reproduction, and then voluntary memorization follows. Elucidation of the dependence of memorization on the nature of the activity of preschoolers (work classes, listening to stories, laboratory experiment) shows that differences in memorization productivity in different types the subjects' activities disappear with age. As a method of logical memorization, the work used the semantic relationship of what needs to be memorized with auxiliary material (picture). As a result, the productivity of memorization doubled.
At preschool age, children begin to be guided in their behavior by moral norms. Acquaintance with moral norms and understanding of their value in a child is formed in communication with adults who assess opposite actions (telling the truth is good, cheating is bad) and make demands (you must tell the truth). From about 4 years old, kids already know that they should tell the truth, but cheating is bad. But the knowledge available to almost all children of this age does not in itself ensure the observance of moral standards.
The experiments made it possible to isolate the conditions for the formation of moral behavior: not individual actions are assessed, but the child as a whole as a person; this assessment is made by the baby himself; self-assessment is carried out by simultaneous comparison with two polar standards (Buratino and Karabas or Snow White and the evil stepmother), towards which the children should have an opposite attitude.
The child's assimilation of norms and rules, the ability to correlate his actions with these norms gradually lead to the formation of the first inclinations of voluntary behavior, i.e. such behavior, which is characterized by stability, non-situationality, the correspondence of external actions to the internal position.
CHAPTER 2. CONFLICT, TYPES OF CONFLICTS
Today there are many definitions of the concept of "conflict". In Russian literature, most definitions of conflict are sociological in nature. Their dignity lies in the fact that the authors highlight various necessary signs of social conflict, represented by various forms of confrontation between individuals and social communities, aimed at achieving certain interests and goals.
Despite all the advantages, one significant drawback is inherent in these definitions: they do not include intrapersonal conflict and do not leave "room" for it. We are talking only about the parties to the conflict, from the interpersonal and higher. But there is also a struggle at the level of an individual individual, a confrontation between the elements of the internal structure of the personality, i.e. There is an intrapersonal conflict.
Conflict is the quality of interaction between people (or elements of the internal structure of a person), expressed in the confrontation between the parties in order to achieve their interests and goals. V this definition the necessary properties of any conflict are reflected. All conflicts have common elements and common patterns of development.
The basis of all conflicts is the contradictions that arise between people or within the structure of the personality itself. It is the contradictions that cause confrontation between the parties to the conflict.
Any conflict is always the interaction of social subjects. However, not every interaction is a conflict. Where there is no confrontation, there are no sharp contradictions accompanied by negative emotions, there is no conflict either. Such interactions include relationships of comradely, friendly cooperation, love relationships, collectivist ties.
Clarification of the essence of the conflict also allows us to say that the conflict is a social phenomenon, in it are subjects gifted with consciousness, pursuing their goals and interests. And the simple interaction of any parties for the existence of a conflict, of course, is still not enough.
The object of the conflict can be called that part of reality that is involved in interaction with the subjects of the conflict. These are the values about which there is a clash of interests of the parties to the conflict (material, spiritual, objective, subjective, status, resource, religious, political, etc.). The object of the conflict does not exist regardless of its subjects, on the contrary, it is always associated with the interests of the parties to the conflict, and these interests are in conflict. The object of the conflict is always available in a limited (scarce) quantity or quality and is not able to simultaneously satisfy both parties involved in the conflict. The object of the conflict can be overt and hidden.
The subject of a conflict is those contradictions that arise between the interacting parties and which they are trying to resolve through confrontation.
Classification of conflicts
One of the broadest and most obvious grounds for the classification of conflicts is their division according to the subjects, or parties to the conflict. From this point of view, all conflicts are divided into:
1) intrapersonal,
2) interpersonal,
3) between an individual and a group,
4) intergroup,
5) interstate (or between coalitions of states).
For children of middle preschool age, intrapersonal, interpersonal and conflicts between an individual and a group are characteristic.
Intrapersonal conflict
The carrier of intrapersonal conflict is a separate person. The content of this conflict is expressed in acute negative feelings of the personality, generated by its contradictory aspirations. For example, in the theory of psychoanalysis by Z. Freud, an intrapersonal conflict arises as a result of a contradiction between the desires of "It" and "Super-I" (instinctive motives and moral feelings and demands).
These conflicts, by their nature and content, are largely psychological and are caused by the contradictions of motives, interests, values and self-assessments of the individual and are accompanied by emotional stress and negative experiences of the current situation. Like any other conflict, it can be both destructive and constructive, i.e. have both positive and negative consequences for the individual.
Interpersonal conflict
This is a clash between individuals in the process of their social and psychological interaction. Conflicts of this type arise at every step and for a variety of reasons. An example of such a conflict is a confrontation between children due to influence in a group or attracting the attention of an adult, etc. Such confrontations can occur in different areas public life: household, economic, political, etc. The reasons that led to the emergence of interpersonal conflict can also be very different: objective, i.e. not dependent on the will and consciousness of people, and subjective, dependent on a person; material and ideal, temporary and permanent, etc. A conflict between individuals can arise over property, or maybe because Petya and Tanya cannot concede to each other in little things.
In any interpersonal conflict great importance have personal qualities of people, their mental, socio-psychological and moral characteristics. In this regard, they often talk about interpersonal compatibility or incompatibility of people, who play a vital role in interpersonal communication.
Conflict between an individual and a group
This type of conflict has much in common with interpersonal, but it is more multifaceted. The group includes a whole system of relations, it is organized in a certain way, it usually has a formal and (or) informal leader, coordination and subordination structures, etc. Therefore, the potential for conflict here increases. To the intrapersonal and interpersonal causes of the conflict are added the reasons due to the group organization.
Like other types of conflict, conflict between an individual and a group can be both constructive and destructive. In the first case, the resolution of the conflict helps to strengthen the connection between the individual and the group, the formation of personal and group identification and integration. In the second case, on the contrary, personality disidentification and group disintegration take place.
The structure of the conflict
Any conflict is an integral dynamic system (dynamic integrity). A conflict is always a process, a transition from one situation to another, each of which is characterized by its own degree of tension between the participants in the confrontation. But despite this dynamic, any conflict is characterized by certain elements that form the internal structure of the conflict as an integral phenomenon.
By their nature and nature, all elements of the conflict can be divided into two types: 1) objective (impersonal) and 2) personal.
Objective elements of the conflict. The objective elements of the conflict include such components. which do not depend on the will and consciousness of a person, on his personal qualities (psychological, moral, value orientations, etc.). These elements are:
1) the object of the conflict (already considered);
2) participants in the conflict - individuals, social groups, communities, peoples, political parties, etc .;
3) the environment of the conflict includes a set of objective conditions of the conflict. Three types of conflict environment can be distinguished: physical, socio-psychological and social. They all manifest themselves at both the micro and macro levels. social system and can serve not only as conditions for the course of the conflict, but as its object.
Personal elements of the conflict. The personal elements of the conflict include psychophysiological, psychological, ethical and behavioral properties of an individual, which influence the emergence and development of a conflict situation.
Personality traits, her habits, feelings, will, interests and motives - all this and many of her other qualities play huge role in the dynamics of any conflict. But to the greatest extent, their influence is found at the micro level, in interpersonal conflict and in conflict within the organization.
Among the personal elements of the conflict, first of all, one should name:
1) the main psychological dominants of behavior (value orientations, goals, motives, interests, needs);
2) character traits and personality types. These are the individual psychophysiological properties of a person, manifested in the characteristics of temperament, self-esteem, in the way of responding to the words and actions of people. In this regard, first of all, two main psychological axes of personality are distinguished: extraversion - introversion, emotional instability - emotional stability .;
3) personality attitudes that form ideal type individuality;
4) inadequate assessments and perceptions. Inadequate assessments and perceptions by a person of both other people and himself are an important element of the conflict. Understating or overstating the qualities of other people or one's own can give rise to a wide variety of misunderstandings, contradictions and conflicts. So, if a person believes that he is an informal leader in a group and enjoys increased authority, but in fact, in the eyes of colleagues, he is an ordinary member of the organization, then this discrepancy in assessments can lead to conflict;
5) demeanor. People enter into communication with different levels of culture, habits, rules of behavior. These differences can be due to both character traits and education, value orientations, life experience, that is, factors associated with the process of personality socialization. But there are people who are simply difficult to communicate, whose behavior is inconvenient for others and who are increased sources of conflicts;
6) ethical values. One of the main regulators of human relations are ethical norms, which express our ideas about good and evil, justice and injustice, correctness or incorrectness of people's actions. And entering into communication with others, everyone relies on these ideas. Ethical norms and rules of conduct have their own specifics in different spheres of human activity and communication.
Differences in the named characteristics of people, their discrepancy and opposite nature can serve as the basis for a conflict.
When a conflict arises, the forms of response can be different. There are 3 forms of responding to a conflict situation: "withdrawal", "struggle" and "dialogue". Care from conflict interaction is interpreted as avoidance, ignorance of the conflict. Fight with oneself or with a partner is an attempt to suppress the conflict. Dialog combines strategies to search for overcoming the conflict by choosing the optimal alternative to resolve it, integrating opposing positions or working out a compromise between them.
Care from conflict
Avoiding the problem that the conflict creates can be unconscious or conscious. Unconscious withdrawal from the problems arising in a person received the greatest coverage in the psychoanalytic tradition. In accordance with the concepts of classical psychoanalysis, in this case, in the human psyche, those unconscious conflicts arise, which, acting on motivation, begin to control his behavior.
The mechanism of this departure is the reinterpretation of the problem that has arisen in such a way that it is not perceived as a conflict that needs to be resolved.
In classical psychoanalysis, the protective mechanisms of the personality that ensure the protection of the psyche with the help of unconscious mental processes include: sublimation, substitution, repression, regression, projection, rationalization, reactive education, identification and fixation of behavior. A. Freud supplemented this list with the following protective mechanisms: isolation, compromise, denial of reality, displacement, destruction, reaction formation. Modern authors further expand the understanding of defense mechanisms, adding to them asceticism, intellectualization, devaluation, etc.
Repression is one of the leading forms of a person's unconscious withdrawal from problems and the need to solve them. Repression is a protective mechanism of the psyche, due to which the experiences unacceptable for the conscious I (Ego) - drives and impulses, as well as their derivatives - emotions, memories, etc., are expelled from consciousness.
In addition to repression, in psychoanalysis, rationalization is distinguished (one of the protective mechanisms of the personality, which ensures the blocking of awareness of true thoughts, feelings and motives of human activity and the formulation of explanations of its behavior that are more acceptable to the personality; the unconscious desire of the individual to rationalize and explain his ideas and behavior, even in those cases when they are irrational), as well as more complex behavioral forms of "leaving", for example, such a phenomenon as "flight into illness." Modern psychology and psychiatry tend to interpret "flight into illness" mainly as one of the forms of a person's reactions to an unfavorable traumatic situation, which is expressed in attempts to avoid conflict through the development of any painful symptoms /
The theory of structural balance by F. Haider describes the mechanism for overcoming the emerging contradiction. This mechanism is based on the reinterpretation of the arisen mismatches. You can change your attitude towards a person who has committed an act that is incompatible with friendship, you can change your attitude towards the act itself, you can finally relieve the person of responsibility for this act. Reinterpretation does not always mean a person's desire to get away from their problems. It can have a completely rational character, associated, for example, with a revision of one's attitude to the situation, its actual significance for him.
In interpersonal interaction, avoiding conflict can be implemented in two main strategies of behavior. One of them is actually leaving, avoiding the situation, which manifests itself in ignoring the problem, "postponing" it, unwillingness to interact with a partner about the disagreements that have arisen, or even simply in limiting contacts with him.
Another option is a strategy of compliance, when a person solves the problem that has arisen by abandoning his own interests, his position and goes towards the interests of his partner. Such a choice can also be considered rational if the subject of disagreement is not so highly valued as to enter into a "fight" or negotiations with a partner because of it, in any case, the damage that can be done in this case to the relations of these people seems to yield more essential. However, compliance, behind which is the inability or unwillingness to solve their problems, cannot be considered justified.
Conflict experts consider avoiding the conflict rational if there is reason to believe that the further development of events will be favorable for the participant in the conflict situation, either by bringing him success without much effort, or by improving the balance of forces in his favor, will provide him with more profitable opportunities to resolve the situation.
"Suppression" ( "Fight" )
In this case, the concept of struggle is used in a narrow sense as a strategy aimed at suppressing one of the parties to the conflict by the other.
In everyday speech, the interpretation of the concept of "conflict" is carried out in terms of "struggle" with its voluminous synonymous series. The "inclusion" of the concept of "conflict" in such a context cannot but lead to a corresponding emotional load on the content of the concept.
However, struggle can be interpreted not as a sociocultural phenomenon, but as an innate instinct of biological origin. The most famous point of view of this kind belongs to K. Lorentz, who believes that this innate instinct is based on the struggle for survival. Its development in the course of long evolution is associated with functions that provide a biological advantage to strong individuals - their survival, improvement of the genetic fund of the species, its distribution over a wider space, etc.
The concept of wrestling is devoted to a special chapter "Technique of Wrestling" in the book "A Treatise on Good Work" by the Polish praxeologist T. Kotarbinsky. With this concept, the author combines a wide variety of activities - military action and competition, sports and intellectual rivalry (disputes) and even intrigue, blackmail, etc .; According to Kotarbinsky, the common thing in all these types of activities, which allows them to be united by a single term "struggle", is that "people deliberately make it difficult for each other to achieve goals, increasing the pressure of coercive situations, critical situations, situations with only one way out ...".
Based on the description of Kotarbinsky, as well as the works of other specialists, a group of methods can be distinguished that correspond to the concept of "struggle". These methods combine various methods of pressure on a partner, aimed at weakening his position and the corresponding strengthening of his own, which should ultimately lead either to the acceptance of the opposing side of the position offered to her, or, at least, to abandon his position and get out of the situation.
In the chapter "Technique of Wrestling" of the book by T. Kotarbinsky "A Treatise on Good Work" (1975), the author discusses various methods and techniques of wrestling. Kotarbinsky includes the following to such techniques:
Creation of conditions for freedom of maneuver for oneself and maximum restriction of the enemy's freedom,
· Counteraction to the concentration of enemy forces, their dismemberment (for example, "inciting a conflict between members of the collective against which the struggle is being waged"),
· Use of the "procrastination method" and "threat method"
· Techniques of "catching by surprise" and "luring into a trap", etc.
N. M. Koryak proposes to distinguish between two types of methods of psychological pressure. First, these are methods of using the opponent's motives for their own purposes, for example, such as material interest, motives for promotion, etc. Psychological pressure on a partner is associated with creating a situation for him to choose between achieving his goals in a conflict and satisfying motives ... Such pressure can be exerted by a leader on a subordinate, a husband on a wife, etc. The second type of techniques is based on creating a threat to the opponent's self-concept, his ideas about himself. Psychological pressure is carried out by manipulating feelings of fear (for example, fear of being in a stupid or humiliating position), feelings of self-doubt, guilt, etc. (Koryak, 1988).
Among the most frequently and typically used techniques, there is, for example, such a kind of "psychological reduction", the reduction of the conflict situation that has arisen to the "bad character" of the participant (or participants) in the conflict. The employee complains about poor organization labor or injustice of the leader, and he is accused of "scandalousness." With the help of this technique, the position taken by a person is interpreted as a consequence of one or another of his personal characteristics and thereby is devalued. At the same time, he is dealt an "emotional blow", often forcing him to take a position of defense and justification of himself.
Another technique, the mechanism of which is well known in social psychology, is the “tying” of the employee’s uncomfortable behavior to the interests of the group, which consists in opposing the interests of the individual and the group as a whole. In this case, there is a potential possibility of pressure on the person from the group.
Another method of weakening the partner's position is accusing him of pursuing "narrow-minded" or simply "personal" interests. The idea of the priority of public or collective interests over personal interests, exploited in the past, led to a kind of psychological prohibition of the individual. Awareness of the illegality of this opposition and, on the contrary, the need for agreement does not remove the psychological problem of upholding "personal interest", which arises due to the stereotypes prevailing in society. Our experience with conflicts has shown that an indication of harassment by an employee “ personal interests Was perceived as an accusation and often forced him to take a defensive position.
Next trick weakening the partner's position is his compromise, and no matter what zones are affected, it generally contributes to a decrease in trust in a person, which ultimately weakens his position.
In the work of S. Povarnin “Dispute. On the theory and practice of the dispute ”describes the verbal tricks:
· "Mechanical", aimed at ending an unfavorable dispute;
· "Psychological", aiming to "throw us out of balance, weaken and upset the work of our thought", for which they use "rude antics", "distraction", "suggestion", etc.
· Sophisms.
Typical destructive methods of influencing a partner in a conflict situation are the use of threats, "emotional blows" (humiliation, insults to the "enemy"), reference to authority (or, on the contrary, its denial), evasion from discussing the problem, flattery, etc. ...
Dialog
In this paper, the concept of dialogue will be considered as a collective designation of strategies used to find an optimal alternative to solving a problem or to develop an integrative solution that unites opposing positions, or a compromise that reconciles them. Domestic researchers in their reasoning take as a basis the concept of dialogue, which has been developed by M.M.Bakhtin for several decades. According to Bakhtin, “dialogical relationships ... are an almost universal phenomenon that permeates all human speech and all relationships and manifestations human life in general, everything that makes sense and meaning. Where consciousness begins, there ... dialogue begins. "
GM Kuchinsky in his work on the psychology of internal dialogue notes that “the most essential feature of dialogue is the interaction of various semantic positions expressed in speech. Based on this, it is easy to define external dialogue as a form of subject-subject interaction in which different semantic positions are developed, expressed in speech by different speakers, and internal dialogue, in which expressed in speech and interacting semantic positions are developed by one speaker. "
Thus, dialogue is not just any "conversation with another" or "with oneself." In dialogue, both semantic positions receive equal right of expression. The above understanding of a monologue as the dominance of one semantic position in a situation of internal or interpersonal confrontation would rather correspond to the previously described concept of struggle as an attempt to dominate, to impose one position.
A monologue is an asymmetric interaction that presupposes the predominant influence of one more active side on the other. An internal monologue is the realization of one semantic position, the influence of a person on himself, although he can perform different functions at the same time - persuasion, “persuading” himself, pronouncing some conclusions, etc.
It is clear that the dialogue is realized in various forms. It can be a dialogue in which the parties, sharing common positions, in the process of discussing them agree with each other, support each other, discover new facets in their views and thus come to a new in-depth and developed understanding. But there can also be such a dialogue, the subject of which is the contradiction or incompatibility of the positions of the parties, and then it takes on the character of a dispute, polemics, or even their "struggle" with each other. This applies to both external and internal dialogue. The reality of polemics with oneself is manifested in the fact that in tense moments of internal dialogue a person can involuntarily utter some of his remarks aloud, literally "talking to himself."
In a situation of interpersonal conflict, a person often conducts both a dialogue with himself (for example, "discussing" his feelings and experiences) and a dialogue with a partner, explaining his position to him, giving arguments, expressing an opinion about his point of view, etc. There can be a dialogue with an imaginary partner, to whom their feelings, experiences, resentments, etc. are confided. Thus, in a conflict, dialogical interaction becomes especially complex nature: a person conducts a dialogue with a partner, which can be accompanied by an internal monologue or even an internal dialogue, an argument with himself.
It is clear that the dialogue in essence presupposes the presence of different semantic positions, which do not completely coincide. GM Kuchinsky proposes to distinguish between the following characteristics of the semantic positions participating in the internal dialogue: "own" - "alien", "central" - "peripheral", "dominant" - "subordinate", "updated" - "background". Based on this, the internal dialogue that a person conducts with his opponent in the course of an interpersonal conflict can be considered as organized between “his” and “someone else's” semantic positions (which does not mean an internal conflict for a person), and the dialogue during an internal conflict is “Struggle” between “own” and “own” positions, of which one may subsequently become dominant, or another, “third” semantic position will be found, uniting the two previous ones with the help of a new constructive alternative or proposing a compromise between them.
It is in the process of dialogue that the contradiction underlying the conflict of a person with himself or with other people is overcome.
CHAPTER 3. ANALYSIS OF CHILD CONFLICTS
The research of L.V. Vygotsky, namely his ideas about the development of higher mental functions, which he considered precisely in terms of personality formation. According to the scientist, cultural forms of behavior are precisely the reactions of the individual. Studying them, we are not dealing with individual processes, but with the individual as a whole. Tracing the cultural development of mental functions, we outline the path of development of the child's personality.
The structure of the conflict in children is described in different ways, but some elements are accepted by everyone. This is a problem (contradiction), a conflict situation, participants in the conflict and their position, an object, an incident (a reason for clarifying relations, a trigger), a conflict (the beginning of an active process, development, resolution).
The object of the conflict is a specific material or spiritual and moral value, to the possession or defense of which the conflicting parties strive.
The subjects of the conflict are children, with their own needs, interests, motives and ideas about values.
But in preschool age, against the background of a favorable environment for upbringing in kindergarten, conditions can be created when the influence of the environment becomes "pathogenic" for the development of the personality, since it infringes on it, that is, conflict situations can arise.
A conflict situation is the starting position, the basis of the conflict, created by the accumulation and exacerbation of contradictions in the system of social ties, interpersonal interaction and group relations. The structure of such a situation is formed by different elements, including the parties (participants), the subjects of the conflict and the object (object) of the confrontation, the mismatching interests, intentions and goals of opponents. A conflict situation is created both objectively, outside the desire of people, due to the prevailing circumstances, and subjectively, because of the deliberate aspirations of the opposing sides. She can certain time persist (more often in an open form), without leading to an incident and, therefore, without going over to an open conflict.
In preschool age, conflict situations play important role, both in the formation of the personality in general, and in moral and ethical development and in the formation of value orientations of preschoolers. Experiences arising in a conflict situation associated with the need for choice and due, first of all, to the emotional assessment of a significant adult, on initial stage development of value orientations, contribute to the fixation of the rules of behavior behind which personal value is hidden. First, an emotional attitude to values arises on the basis of contact with the values of a significant other, then in a situation of choice, they take the form of significant motives, then meaning-forming and really acting motives.
Children's conflicts can arise over resources related to objects, interests, communication difficulties (relationships), values and needs (physical or psychological). Factors aggravating the course of conflict in preschool age are:
An increase and external manifestation of the intensity of passions (anger, fear, anxiety, disappointment);
· Manifestation of indifference on the part of an adult to a conflict that has arisen;
· Lack of attempts to establish and maintain relationships;
· Escalation, replication of a conflict situation, an increase in the number of children, participants in the conflict;
· Involvement of parents;
Factors leading to a weakening of the conflict:
· Leaving to the neutral side;
· Conversation, explanation, but not a demonstration;
· Reducing the feeling of threat, the presence and use of communication skills in conflict resolution;
· Preservation and strengthening of interpersonal relationships;
In psychology, there is the concept of "conflict behavior" - these are the actions and deeds of a person in a conflict situation, that is, in fact, these are ways of a person's response in a conflict situation. In preschool age, there is a problem of conflict behavior in the aspect of preventing its formation in children. In connection with this concept, the concept of "conflict relations" is also considered - these are ways of organizing interaction with other people, peers, adults, colored with a negative, affective emotional background. Conflicting behavior, dysfunction, emotional discomfort of a child among peers negatively affects the formation of a child's personality. Children come to kindergarten with a different emotional outlook, heterogeneous aspirations and, at the same time, with different skills and abilities. As a result, each person in his own way meets the requirements of the educator and peers and creates an attitude towards himself. Belova E.D., A.N. Belkin, VP Ivanova and others. In their works, the emphasis is on the prevention of conflict behavior and conflict relations in the "child - child" system.
In turn, the requirements and needs of those around them find a different response from the child himself, the environment is different for children, and in some cases it is extremely unfavorable. The child's distress in the preschool group can manifest itself ambiguously: as uncommunicative or aggressively sociable behavior. But regardless of the specifics, childhood trouble is a very serious phenomenon, behind it, as a rule, lies a deep conflict in relations with peers, as a result of which the child is left alone among children.
Changes in the child's behavior are secondary neoplasms, distant consequences of the root causes of the conflict. The fact is that the conflict itself and the resulting negative features long time hidden from observation. That is why the source of the conflict, its root cause, as a rule, is overlooked by the educator, and pedagogical correction is already ineffective.
Thus, one should consider two types of psychological conflicts in preschoolers who experience difficulties in communicating with peers: conflict in operations and conflict in motives. External obvious conflicts in preschoolers are generated by contradictions that arise when they organize joint activities or in the process of it.
External conflicts arise in the sphere business relationship children, however, as a rule, they do not go beyond it and do not capture deeper layers of interpersonal relations. Therefore, they are of a transient, situational nature and are usually resolved by the children themselves by independently establishing a norm of justice. External conflicts are useful, as they present the child with the right to responsibility, to creative solution of a difficult, problematic situation and act as a regulator of fair, full-fledged relations of children. Modeling such conflict situations in the pedagogical process can be considered as one of the effective means of moral education.
Each child occupies a certain position in the peer group, which is expressed in how his peers relate to him. The degree of popularity that a child enjoys depends on many reasons: his knowledge, mental development, behavior patterns, ability to establish contacts with other children, appearance, etc.
Many domestic and foreign researchers have addressed the problem of child distress, deviating forms of behavior in preschool age. V.Ya. Zedgenidze gave a classification of social interaction and relationships between children and pointed out the existence of difficulties in them. A particularly bright page in the history of the study of the problem was written by L.S. Vygotsky. He noted that under the same conditions different features psyche, since a person gives specific, individual reactions to certain environmental influences. Specific reactions to the same type of environmental influences will depend primarily on the relationship between the child and the environment. The impact of the environment, wrote L.S. Vygotsky, themselves change depending on through which previously emerged mental properties of the child they are refracted.
Interest in the study of issues of children's ill-being is reflected in the work of A.I. Anzharova. Along with the issues of friendship and comradeship, she studied some difficulties in the relations of children, and, first of all, the phenomenon of childish isolation, at the heart of which, according to A.I. Anzharova, there are deep violations of the communication process.
Before embarking on a more detailed study of conflict behavior in preschoolers (violation of relationships with peers), it is necessary to consider general structure interpersonal processes. Many authors (A.A.Bodalev, Ya.L. Kolominskiy, B.F. Lomov, B.D. Parygin) naturally distinguish three components and interrelated components in the structure of interpersonal processes:
Behavioral (praxical)
Emotional (affective)
· Informational, or cognitive (gnostic).
If the behavioral component can be attributed to interaction in joint activities, and communication, and the behavior of a group member addressed to another, and to the gnostic component - group perception, contributing to the subject's awareness of the qualities of another, then interpersonal relationships will be affective, emotional component structures of interpersonal processes.
In the system of concepts adopted in this work, when defining communication, we will proceed from the position of M.I. Lisina that communication is always subject-subject communication, which means that the content and an integral part of communication and its product are relationships, it is communication that determines the selectivity of relationships.
Thus, communication is communicative activity, the process of specific contact face to face, which can be aimed not only at the effective solution of problems of joint activities, but also at the establishment of personal relationships and cognition of another person.
Interpersonal relationships (relationships) is a diverse and relatively stable system of selective, conscious and emotionally experienced connections between members of a contact group. Despite the fact that interpersonal relationships are actualized in communication and, for the most part, in the actions of people, the very reality of their existence is much wider. Figuratively speaking, interpersonal relations can be likened to an iceberg, in which only the upper part of it appears in the behavioral aspects of the personality, and the other, underwater part, larger than the surface, remains hidden.
Consideration of the phenomenon of children's relationships, against the background of which the conflict unfolds, allows one to proceed to its description and analysis. The interpersonal relationships of preschoolers are very complex, contradictory, and often difficult to interpret. They do not lie on the surface (like role-playing and business ones) and are only partially manifested in the communication and behavior of children, requiring special techniques for detection. Born, mediated by play, interpersonal relationships can nevertheless exist independently of it, as well as from any other child's activity, in which they differ significantly from role-playing and business ones, completely "drowned" in play. At the same time, they are closely intertwined and, being very emotional in preschoolers, often "burst into the game." Due to the special emotional saturation, interpersonal relationships are much more "attached" to the very personality of the child and can be very selective and stable.
A relatively stable business plan of relationships in the game can coexist with a deep conflict in the interpersonal relationships of children, which indicates a possible discrepancy between these plans, the need for their differentiation.
In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic picture of children's interpersonal relations unfolds. Preschoolers are friends, quarrel, reconcile, take offense, jealous. All these relationships are acutely experienced by the participants and carry a lot of different emotions. Emotional tension and conflict in the sphere of children's relationships is much higher than in the sphere of communication with an adult. Adults sometimes are unaware of the wide range of feelings and relationships that children experience, do not attach much importance to children's quarrels and grievances. Meanwhile, the experience of the first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child's personality is built. This first experience largely determines the nature of a person's relationship to himself, to others, to the world as a whole. Determine the occurrence of violations emotional sphere can be on the following grounds:
Violation of any sphere of personality, psyche of a child always has negative impact to other spheres, as a result of which they degrade or slow down their development. Emotional distress associated with communication difficulties can lead to various types of conflict behavior.
Unbalanced, impulsive behavior, characteristic of quickly excitable children. When conflicts with peers arise, the emotions of these children are manifested in outbursts of anger, loud crying, and desperate resentment. In this case, the negative emotions of children can be caused by both serious reasons and the most insignificant ones. Their emotional incontinence and impulsiveness lead to the destruction of the game, to conflicts and fights. Hot temper is more an expression of helplessness, despair than aggression. However, these manifestations are situational, ideas about other children remain positive and do not interfere with communication.
Increased aggressiveness of children, serving as a stable personality trait. Studies and long-term studies show that the aggressiveness that developed in childhood remains stable and persists throughout the later life of a person. Anger develops into a violation with the constant, aggressive behavior of the parents, which the child imitates; manifestation of dislike for the baby, due to which hostility to the outside world is formed; long-term and frequent negative emotions.
Among the reasons provoking the aggressiveness of children, the following stand out: attracting the attention of peers; infringement on the dignity of another in order to emphasize their superiority; protection and revenge; striving to be in charge; the need to master the desired subject.
Manifestations of a pronounced tendency to aggressiveness: a high frequency of aggressive actions - during an hour of observation, such children demonstrate at least four acts aimed at causing harm to their peers; predominance of direct physical aggression; the presence of hostile aggressive actions aimed not at achieving any goal, but at the physical pain or suffering of peers.
Among the psychological characteristics that provoke aggressive behavior are usually underdevelopment of intelligence and communication skills, a reduced level of arbitrariness, underdevelopment of game activity, and reduced self-esteem. But the main distinguishing feature of aggressive children is their attitude towards their peers. Another child acts for them as an adversary, as a competitor, as an obstacle that must be removed. Aggressive child has the preconceived notion that hostility is driving the actions of others, he attributes negative intentions and self-neglect to others. All aggressive children have one common property - inattention to other children, inability to see and understand their feelings.
Touchiness is a persistent negative attitude towards communication. Resentment manifests itself in cases where the child is acutely experiencing the infringement of his "I". These situations include the following: ignoring a partner, insufficient attention on his part; refusal of something necessary and desirable; disrespectful attitude from others; success and superiority of others, lack of praise.
Characteristic feature resentful children have a vivid attitude towards self-assessment and constant expectation of a positive assessment, the absence of which is perceived as self-denial. All this brings the child acute painful experiences and prevents normal development personality. Therefore, increased sensitivity can be considered as one of the conflicting forms of interpersonal relationships.
Demonstration is a stable personality trait. This behavior of children is expressed in the desire to attract attention to themselves in any possible way. Relationships are not a goal, but a means of self-affirmation. Ideas about their own qualities and abilities of demonstrative children need constant reinforcement through comparison with others. An unsaturated need for praise, for superiority over others becomes the main motive of all actions and deeds. Such a child is constantly afraid of being worse than others, which gives rise to anxiety, self-doubt. Therefore, it is important to timely identify the manifestation of demonstrativeness and help the child in overcoming it. The essence of these psychological problems is determined by the child's fixation on his qualities (on the assessment of himself), he constantly thinks about how others evaluate him, acutely emotionally experiences their attitude. This assessment becomes the main content of his life, covering the entire world around him and other people. Self-affirmation, demonstration of his merits or hiding his flaws becomes the leading motive of his behavior. Children with a harmonious, conflict-free attitude towards their peers never remain indifferent to the actions of their peers. It is they who are most popular in the children's group, as they can help, yield, listen, support someone else's initiative. Conflict-free children do not make the protection, affirmation and evaluation of their “I” a special and only life task, which provides them with emotional well-being and recognition of others. The absence of these qualities, on the contrary, makes the child rejected and deprives peers of sympathy.
A conflict situation develops into a conflict only with joint play actions of the child and peers. A similar situation arises in cases where there is a contradiction: between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in play (the latter are below the requirements) or between the leading needs of the child and peers (needs are outside the game). In both cases, we are talking about the lack of formation of the leading game activity of preschoolers, which contributes to the development of psychological conflict.
The reasons may be the child's lack of initiative in establishing contacts with peers, the lack of emotional aspirations between the players, when, for example, the desire to command prompts the child to leave the game with his beloved comrade and enter the game with a less pleasant but pliable peer; lack of communication skills. As a result of such interactions, two types of contradictions can arise: a mismatch between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in play and a mismatch in the motives of the child's play and peers.
CHAPTER 4. INTERACTION STYLES OF MIDDLE PRESCHOOL CHILDREN
The play of preschoolers is a multidimensional, multidimensional education that generates different types children's relationships: plot (or role), real (or business) and interpersonal relationships.
In preschool age, the leading activity is a role-playing game, and communication becomes its part and condition. From the point of view of D.B. Elkonin, “the game is social in its content, in its nature, in its origin, i.e. arises from the living conditions of a child in society. "
Of particular importance for the development of the child's personality, for the assimilation of elementary moral norms by him, are relations about the game, since it is here that the learned norms and rules of behavior are formed and really manifest, which form the basis of the moral development of a preschooler, form the ability to communicate in a group of peers.
The role-playing game differs in that its action takes place in a certain conditional space. The room suddenly turns into a hospital, or a store, or a busy highway. And the playing children take on the appropriate roles (doctor, salesman, driver). In a story game, as a rule, there are several participants, since every role involves a partner: doctor and patient, seller and buyer, etc.
The main line of the child's development is the gradual release from a specific situation, the transition from situational communication to non-situational. Such a transition is not easy for a child, and an adult needs to make certain efforts so that the child can overcome the pressure of the perceived situation. But in the game, such a transition occurs easily and naturally.
The task of the teacher is not to interfere with the child's entry into different types of relationships. Quarrels, conflicts, different situations should be played up by children, encourage the child to reflect on his behavior. This is a powerful regulator of relationships, a way of realizing these relationships.
Analyzing the characteristics of the behavior of children during the conflict, one can single out following ways the impact of children on other participants in the game conflict:
1. "Physical impact" - this includes such actions when children, especially younger ones, push each other, fight, and also take away toys, scatter them, take someone else's place in the game, etc.
2. "Mediated influence" - in this case, the child acts on the opponent through other people. This includes complaints about a peer to the caregiver, crying, shouting in order to attract the attention of an adult, as well as influencing with the help of other children involved in a conflict to confirm their claims.
3. "Psychological impact" - this includes such methods of influencing the opponent that are addressed directly to him, but this is carried out at the level of crying, screaming, stamping his feet, grimacing, etc., when the child does not explain his claims, but exerts on the opponent a certain psychological pressure.
4. "Verbal influence" - in this case, the means of influence is already speech, but these are mainly various instructions to the opponent what he should do or what he should not do. These are statements like “Give it back”, “Go away”, a kind of marking of one's own actions - “I will be a doctor”, refusal to perform the action required by the partner, as well as questions requiring a specific answer, for example, “Where are you going with the car?”. In the latter case, the peer must also perform a certain action, but not substantive, but verbal.
5. "Threats and sanctions" - this includes statements in which children warn rivals about possible negative consequences their actions, - for example, "And I will tell"; threats of destruction of the game - "I will not play with you"; threats to break off relations in general - "I am no longer friends with you", as well as various interjections and words pronounced with a threatening intonation: "Well!", "Oh, so!", "Got it?" etc.
6. "Arguments" - this includes statements with the help of which children try to explain, substantiate their claims or show the illegality of the claims of their rivals. These are statements like “I am the first”, “This is mine”, statements about my desire - “I want it too”, an appeal to my position in the game - “I am a teacher and I know how to teach”, rhetorical questions like “Why did you break everything ? "," Why did you come here? " negative assessment your partner's actions, as well as direct assessments of your own actions and those of your opponents (“You don't know how to play”, “I know better how to heal”) and various offensive nicknames, teasers, etc. This group also includes cases when children try to appeal to certain rules, for example, “We must share”, “The seller must be polite”, etc.
At the age of 3-4 years, the methods of “verbal influence” come to the fore, and subsequently there is an increasing use of various justifications for their actions with the help of various explanations of their behavior and the behavior of peers, self- and mutual assessments of oneself and partners in the game.
Middle preschool age is a definite turning point in the development of joint play in children. Here, for the first time, the prevalence of methods of "verbal influence" on opponents in a conflict situation over the means of open pressure is noted. In other words, the conflict as an open confrontation with the use of physical force is increasingly turning into a verbal dispute, i.e. there is a "culturing" of the behavior of children in the process of realizing their desires. First, physical actions are replaced by a word, then verbal methods of influence become more complicated and appear in the form of various kinds of justifications, assessments, which, in turn, opens the way for discussing controversial issues and finding a mutually acceptable solution.
According to research data, when resolving a conflict, the ratio of successfully and unfavorably resolved conflicts in children of middle preschool age is approximately the same. At the same time, the successful resolution of the conflict means the continuation of the game in the same composition of participants who were able to agree in one way or another, i.e. resolve a controversial issue that arose during the game. An analysis of this issue shows the age-related dynamics of children mastering various communication skills, with the help of which they enter into communication with their peers. Thus, conflicts that arise in children's games are often not overcome, which leads to the destruction of communication between children.
The data obtained allow us to consider the question of who (the participants in the conflict themselves, an adult or other children) and to what extent are the initiators of the successful resolution of the game conflict.
In the middle preschool age, children most often independently resolve controversial issues that arise in their play. In this regard, of interest is the opinion of practitioners, educators, that the middle preschool age is the most difficult for a teacher in a kindergarten. Perhaps this is due to the fact that at this age children acquire a certain independence from the opinion of an adult in resolving controversial issues, they develop their own rules of behavior in such situations.
Research data show the following sequence of ways to successfully resolve conflicts between children in play (as they decrease):
1. the introduction of additional elements into the content of the game (new roles, toys, game actions);
2. to defend their claims by repeating the relevant statements;
3. prioritization of the role or use of the toy;
4. Emotional sympathy for a peer who was “injured” during the conflict (children in such cases hug each other, “feel sorry”, apologize - “I’m unintentionally”);
5. appeal to the game rules;
6. compensation for the concession (children offer candy, their toys in exchange for a concession);
7. certain sanctions against an opponent (for example, a threat to leave the game);
8. offer to play together; the mediator's solution (that is, the solution to the controversial issue, which is proposed by other peers);
9. certain algorithms for resolving a controversial issue (for example, a counting rhyme);
10. Finally, complaints as a means of achieving peer concessions.
In the enumerated set of methods for the successful resolution of game conflicts, one can single out the methods of “individual solution” of a controversial issue, such, for example, as defending one's claims, “threats of sanctions”, complaints, etc. , emotional sympathy, the introduction of additional elements of the game, etc., where the participants in the conflict get their way, although they make certain concessions. A special group of methods is represented by algorithms for resolving a controversial issue - a variety of counting rhymes, the meaning of which is that the parties to the conflict resort to certain rules of behavior in a conflict situation, presented in the form of an appropriate procedure, a kind of ritual of interaction.
With age, the share of joint actions of children increases, when they act not as separate individuals, but as a playing group, united by a common goal and using certain means to regulate their group behavior. This speaks not only of the cultural development of the personality, but also of the development of the children's group as a whole, when preschoolers, from a fairly chaotic interaction with each other, where the main role is played by direct factors reflecting the personal desires of children, go to arbitrary, i.e. purposeful and controlled, joint activities. Hence, the norms and rules that are used by children to resolve conflict situations are a certain socio-psychological form of symbolic means developed in the process of communication and are the rules of children for themselves, in contrast to the rules introduced from outside by adults.
CONCLUSION
The study of deviations in the development of interpersonal relationships at the very first stages of personality formation seems relevant and important, primarily because the conflict in the child's relationship with peers can act as a serious threat to personal development. That is why information about the peculiarities of the development of a child's personality in difficult, unfavorable conditions at that stage of its development, when the basic stereotypes of behavior, psychological foundations of the most important relations of the personality to the environment begin to form social world, to oneself, clarification of knowledge about the causes, nature, logic of the development of conflict relations and possible ways timely diagnosis and correction is of paramount importance.
The danger lies in the fact that the negative qualities that have appeared in the child, due to the peculiarity of preschool age, determine all further personality formation, can be found in the new school collective, and even in subsequent activities, preventing the development of full-fledged relationships with people around them, their own worldview. The need for early diagnosis and correction of disorders in communication with peers is caused by the essential circumstance that in every group of any kindergarten there are children whose relations with peers are significantly distorted, and their very disadvantage in the group has a stable, extended character.
The preschool period of childhood is sensitive for the formation of the foundations of collectivist qualities in a child, as well as a humane attitude towards other people. The foundations of these qualities must be formed at preschool age, otherwise the child will be a flawed personality, and it will be extremely difficult to change it.
Early diagnosis and correction of symptoms of conflict relationships, distress, emotional discomfort of a child among peers are of great importance. Ignorance of them makes all attempts to study and build full-fledged children's relationships ineffective, and also hinders the implementation of individual approach to the formation of the child's personality.
Use of the received materials in teaching practice means, first of all, a change in attitude towards child conflicts. These are not just negative phenomena in children's life, they are special, significant situations of communication. And the full development of children will largely depend on how adults, practicing teachers, will be ready for the correct management of such situations. And for this you need to know possible reasons the emergence of children's conflicts, predict the behavior of children in accordance with age, prompt and even specially teach children the most optimal ways of communication in them.
LITERATURE
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2. Antsupov A.Ya. A.I. Shipilov Conflictology: textbook. - Peter; SPb; 2008
3. Vygotsky L.S. Psychology of human development. - M .: Publishing house Meaning; 2005
4. Gamezo M.V., Petrova E.A., Orlova L.M. Developmental and educational psychology: Textbook. manual for students of all specialties of pedagogical universities. - M .: Pedagogical Society of Russia, 2003 ..
5. Grishina N.V. The Psychology of Conflict - Peter; SPb., 2001
6. Kolominskiy Ya.L., Zhiznevskiy B.P. Socio-psychological analysis of conflicts between children in play activity // Questions of psychology. No. 2.1990. S. 35-42
7. Brief psychological dictionary / Ed. A. V. Petrovsky and M. G. Yaroshevsky; ed.-compiler L.A. Karpenko. - 2nd ed., extended, rev. and additional - Rostov-on-Don: "PHOENIX", 1998.
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| Causes of conflicts | Conflict Resolution Methods |
| 1. Insufficient development of play skills and abilities in the child. | To prevent possible problem situations, it is important to teach the child to play. |
| 2. Quarrels over toys. | V younger group there should be as many identical toys as possible. It is necessary for adults to understand the child's right to property. You can't call your child a greedy, bad boy, or girl unless they share a toy. The task of adults is to help children find an opportunity to agree with each other - to play in turns, exchange one toy for another (no less interesting), switch to another game, etc. |
| 3. Dispute over the distribution of roles. 4. The child is not accepted into the game, so the roles have already been assigned. | You can start the distribution with minor roles, gradually reaching the main ones. In this case, more active children take over the roles suggested by the teacher. Of course, this technique doesn't always work; then use the sequencing, counting, drawing lots. Then you can suggest options for further continuation of the game. An adult shows an example of his own verbal behavior in a conflict, for example, "You are right, but ...", "You are both right, but each in your own way", "Let's think about what to do!" On the basis of imitation, the emotional vocabulary of children will be replenished with words, phrases that give the right to argue, but at the same time not humiliate themselves and others. |
| 5. It is important for the child that the teacher pays attention to his emotional state. | To clarify some conflict situations, it is important to “join” the child, to help him realize his feelings: “you probably really wanted to ...”, “you probably didn’t like it. What… and you wanted… ”If the child is indignant or angry, it is necessary to help him cope with the attack of negative emotions. This is possible if the teacher himself maintains a calm emotional state. The louder the children make the noise, the quieter and more calm the voice of an adult should be. |
| 6. The child is aggressive. | It is necessary to provide each child with the opportunity to respond to various emotional experiences, safe for the baby himself and the people around him (shading, writing a letter to the offender, modeling from plasticine, pillow fights). In some minor situations, it is worth ignoring the aggressive actions of the preschooler, not fixing the attention of others on them. You can distract or divert the attention of conflicting children to another object. |
| 7. Sharp opposition of children. | Interrupt immediately, prohibit the fight. Divide the fighters, stand between them, seat everyone at the table or on the floor. There is no point in looking for the right and the wrong. An adult needs to think about why a fight arose between these children (did you not share a toy, is tired, offended, or a habitual reaction?). |
| 8 child fighter. | There is no point in punishing the brawlers. When an adult punishes a disobedient preschooler, his pranks die out only for a short time or repeats: "I will not be any more." Forgiven - the prank was repeated. |
| 9. Children show verbal aggression, tease a peer. | To convince a vulnerable, sensitive child that there is no need to be upset at that moment. When they call you names, use defensive phrases: "Whoever calls names, he is called that himself." |
| 10 Prosperity. Children sneak when they want a child who has offended them to have trouble from an adult. | The goal of an adult is to direct the activity of children towards each other, for example: “you can tell about this not to me, but to Nikita” or “talk about it with each other” |
Interpersonal relationships in the children's group
Interpersonal relationship - subjectively experienced relationships between people, objectively manifested in the nature and methods of mutual influences of people in the course of joint activities and activities. It is a system of attitudes, orientations, expectations, stereotypes and other dispositions through which people perceive and evaluate each other.
The role of the peer group in the social, personal development of a preschooler child is highlighted in many socio-psychological, psychological, pedagogical scientific works and research. It is in the society of peers that the mechanisms of interpersonal perception and understanding are most effectively developed, which underlie the formation of such personal qualities as sympathy, the desire to provide help and friendly support, the ability to share joy, as well as qualities that ensure the ability to self-awareness. In a peer group, a child learns one form of behavior or another, “focusing on the group's requirements in the form of“ role expectations, ”that is, exercising in the performance of certain social roles set by the system of interpersonal interaction in a particular group. Group approval provides the child with the opportunity for self-expression and self-affirmation, promotes confidence, activity, positive "self-perception".
Many psychologists have tried to give classification of interpersonal relationships and highlight their main parameters.
V.N. Myasishchev singled out personal emotional relationships (affection, hostility, hostility, feelings of sympathy, love, hate) and relationships of a higher, conscious level - ideological and principled.
Ya.L. Kolominsky speaks of two types of relationships - business and personal, based on feelings of sympathy or dislike.
A.A. Bodalev attaches great importance to evaluative relations.
A.V. Petrovsky highlights special forms relations - reference and the phenomenon of DGEI (effective group emotional identification).
In the studies of T.A. Repina highlighted three types of interpersonal relationships in the preschool group: personal, evaluative and rudiments of business relationships. T.A. Repina also emphasizes that there is a difference between internal, subjective relationships and the sphere of their external manifestation, in the ways of communicating with other people, that is, objective relationships. But in general, in the preschool age, due to immediacy, children, to a greater extent than adults, have subjective relationships and their objective expression closer together.
In this way, interpersonal relationships Is a diverse and relatively stable system of selective, conscious and emotionally experienced connections between members of a contact group. These connections are mainly determined by joint activities and value orientations. They are in the process of development and are expressed in communication, joint activities, actions and mutual evaluations of group members. In some cases, when the relationship is not effective, they are limited to the sphere of only latent experiences. Despite the fact that interpersonal relationships are actualized in communication and, for the most part, in the actions of people, the very reality of their existence is much wider.
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Date the page was created: 2017-04-20
Introduction
In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic picture of children's relationships unfolds. Preschoolers make friends, quarrel, reconcile, take offense, get jealous, help each other, and sometimes do small "dirty tricks". All these relationships are acutely experienced and carry a lot of different emotions.
Parents and educators sometimes are unaware of the wide range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, naturally, do not attach much importance to children's friendships, quarrels, and grievances. Meanwhile, the experience of the first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child's personality is built. This first experience largely determines the nature of a person's relationship to himself, to others, to the world as a whole. This experience is not always successful.
In many children, already in preschool age, a negative attitude towards others is formed and consolidated, which can have very sad long-term consequences. Timely identification of problematic forms of interpersonal relationships and helping the child overcome them is the most important task of parents. To do this, you need to know the age characteristics of children's communication, the normal course of development of communication with peers, as well as psychological reasons various problems in relationships with other children.
Communication with peers has a number of essential features that qualitatively distinguish it from communication with an adult.
The first striking difference in peer communication lies in its extremely bright emotional saturation... The increased emotionality and relaxedness of contacts of preschoolers distinguishes them from interaction with an adult. On average, in the communication of peers, there are 9-10 times more expressive-mimic manifestations, expressing a variety of emotional states - from violent indignation to violent joy, from tenderness and sympathy to a fight. Preschoolers more often approve of a peer and much more often enter into conflict with him than when interacting with an adult.
Such a strong emotional saturation of children's communication is apparently due to the fact that, starting from the age of four, a peer becomes a more preferred and attractive communication partner. The importance of communication is higher in the sphere of interaction with a peer than with an adult.
Another important feature of children's contacts is their non-standard and unregulated... If, in communicating with adults, even the youngest children adhere to certain forms of behavior, then when interacting with peers, preschoolers use the most unexpected and original actions and movements. These movements are characterized by a special relaxedness, irregularity, not given any patterns: children jump, take bizarre poses, grimace, imitate each other, come up with new words and fables, etc.
Such freedom, unregulated communication of preschoolers allows them to show their originality and their original origin. If an adult bears culturally normalized patterns of behavior for a child, then the peer creates conditions for the child's individual, non-standardized, free manifestations. Naturally, with age, children's contacts are increasingly subject to generally accepted rules of behavior. However, the unregulated and uninhibited communication, the use of unpredictable and non-standard means remain a distinctive feature of children's communication until the end of preschool age.
Another distinctive feature of peer communication is the prevalence of proactive actions over reciprocal... This is especially evident in the inability to continue and develop the dialogue, which falls apart due to the lack of reciprocal activity of the partner. For a child, his own action or statement is much more important, and in most cases the initiative of a peer is not supported by him. Children accept and support the initiative of an adult about twice as often. The sensitivity to the partner's influences is significantly less in the sphere of communication with a peer than with an adult. Such inconsistency in the communicative actions of children often gives rise to conflicts, protests, resentments.
The listed features reflect the specifics of children's contacts throughout the preschool age. However, the content of communication between children varies significantly from three to six to seven years.
During preschool age, children's communication with each other changes significantly. In these changes, three qualitatively unique stages (or forms of communication) between preschoolers and peers can be distinguished.
The first one is emotionally practical(second - fourth years of life). At a younger preschool age, a child expects a peer to participate in his own fun and longs for self-expression. It is necessary and sufficient for his peer to join his pranks and, acting with him or alternately, support and enhance the general fun. Each participant in such communication is primarily concerned with drawing attention to himself and getting an emotional response from his partner. Emotional and practical communication is extremely situational - both in its content and in the means of implementation. It entirely depends on the specific environment in which the interaction takes place, and on the practical actions of the partner. It is characteristic that the introduction of an attractive object into a situation can destroy the interaction of children: they switch attention from a peer to an object, or they fight over it. At this stage, children's communication is not yet associated with objects or actions and is separated from them.
For younger preschoolers the most characteristic is an indifferent and benevolent attitude towards another child. Three-year-olds, as a rule, are indifferent to the success of a peer and to his assessment by an adult. At the same time, they, as a rule, easily solve problem situations "in favor" of others: they give up the queue in the game, give their items (however, their gifts are more often addressed to adults - parents or educator than peers). All this may indicate that the peer does not yet play a significant role in the child's life. The toddler does not seem to notice the actions and states of the peer. At the same time, his presence increases the general emotionality and activity of the child. This is evidenced by the desire of children for emotional and practical interaction, imitation of the movements of a peer. The ease with which three-year-old children become infected with general emotional states may indicate a special commonality with him, which is expressed in the discovery of the same properties, things or actions. A child, "looking at a peer," as it were, highlights specific properties in himself. But this community has a purely external, procedural and situational character.
The next form of peer communication is situational-business... It develops by about four years of age and remains most typical until the age of six. After four years of age in children (especially those who attend kindergarten), the peer in its attractiveness begins to overtake the adult and take an increasing place in their life. This age is the heyday of role-playing. At this time, the role-playing game becomes collective - children prefer to play together rather than alone. Business cooperation becomes the main content of communication among children in the middle of preschool age. Collaboration should be distinguished from complicity. During emotional and practical communication, the children acted side by side, but not together, the attention and complicity of a peer was important to them. In situational business communication, preschoolers are busy with a common cause, they must coordinate their actions and take into account the activity of their partner in order to achieve a common result. This kind of interaction has been called collaboration. The need for peer cooperation becomes central to children's communication.
In the middle of preschool age, there is a decisive change in the attitude towards a peer. The picture of children's interaction is changing significantly.
"In older preschool age, the emotional well-being of a child in a peer group depends either on the ability to organize joint play activities, or on the success productive activities... Popular children are highly successful in joint cognitive, work and play activities. They are active, result-oriented, expecting a positive assessment. Children with an unfavorable position in the group have low success in activities that cause them negative emotions, refusal to work. "
Along with the need for cooperation at this stage, the need for peer recognition and respect is clearly distinguished. The child seeks to attract the attention of others. Sensitively catches in their glances and facial expressions signs of an attitude towards themselves, demonstrates resentment in response to inattention or reproaches from partners. The "invisibility" of a peer turns into a keen interest in everything that he does. At the age of four to five, children often ask adults about the successes of their comrades, demonstrate their advantages, try to hide their mistakes and failures from their peers. In children's communication at this age, a competitive, competitive beginning appears. The successes and failures of others take on special significance. In the process of play or other activity, children intently and jealously observe the actions of their peers and evaluate them. Children's reactions to an adult's assessment also become sharper and more emotional.
The successes of peers can cause grief in children, and his failures cause undisguised joy. At this age, the number of children's conflicts increases significantly, such phenomena as envy, jealousy, resentment against a peer arise.
All this allows us to speak of a profound qualitative restructuring of the child's attitude to his peer. The other child becomes the subject of constant self-comparison. This comparison is not aimed at revealing commonality (as in three-year-olds), but at opposing oneself and the other, which reflects, first of all, changes in the child's self-awareness. Through comparison with a peer, the child evaluates and asserts himself as the owner of certain merits, which are important not in themselves, but "in the eyes of another." This other for a four-five-year-old child becomes a peer. All this gives rise to numerous conflicts of children and such phenomena as boasting, demonstrativeness, competitiveness, etc. However, these phenomena can be considered as age characteristics of five-year plans. By the older preschool age, the attitude towards the peer changes significantly again.
By the age of six or seven, peer friendliness and the ability to help others significantly increase. Of course, the competitive, competitive principle is preserved in the communication of children. However, along with this, in the communication of older preschoolers, there appears the ability to see in a partner not only his situational manifestations, but also some psychological aspects of his existence - his desires, preferences, moods. Preschoolers not only talk about themselves, but also ask their peers with questions: what he wants to do, what he likes, where he was, what he saw, etc. Their communication becomes extra-situational.
The development of non-situationality in children's communication occurs in two directions. On the one hand, the number of non-situational contacts is increasing: children tell each other about where they have been and what they saw, share their plans or preferences, and assess the qualities and actions of others. On the other hand, the very image of a peer becomes more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of the interaction. By the end of preschool age, stable selective attachments arise between children, and the first shoots of friendship appear. Preschoolers "gather" in small groups (two or three people) and show a clear preference for their friends. The child begins to highlight and feel the inner essence of the other, which, although not represented in the situational manifestations of the peer (in his concrete actions, statements, toys), is becoming more and more significant for the child.
By the age of six, emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of a peer increases significantly. In most cases, older preschoolers closely observe the actions of their peers and are emotionally included in them. Sometimes, even contrary to the rules of the game, they try to help him, suggest the right move. If four-five-year-old children willingly, following an adult, condemn the actions of a peer, then six-year-olds, on the contrary, can unite with a friend in their "opposition" to the adult. All this may indicate that the actions of older preschoolers are directed not at a positive assessment of an adult and not at observing moral standards, but directly at another child.
By the age of six, many children have an immediate and disinterested desire to help a peer, to give him something or to give in. Gloating, envy, and competitiveness are manifested less often and not as sharply as at the age of five. Many children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. All this may indicate that a peer becomes for a child not only a means of self-affirmation and an object of comparison with himself, not only a preferred partner, but also a self-valuable person, important and interesting, regardless of his achievements and subjects.
Such is the common features ah the age-related logic of the development of communication and attitudes towards a peer in preschool age. However, it is far from always being realized in the development of specific children. It is widely known that there are significant individual differences in the attitude of a child towards peers, which largely determine his well-being, position among others and, ultimately, the characteristics of personality formation. Problematic forms of interpersonal relationships are of particular concern.
Among the most typical options for preschool children in conflict relationships with peers, increased aggressiveness, resentment, shyness and demonstrativeness of preschoolers. Let's dwell on them in more detail.
Problematic forms of relationship with peers
Aggressive children.The increased aggressiveness of children is one of the most common problems in the children's team. She worries not only teachers, but also parents. Some forms of aggression are typical for the majority of preschoolers. Almost all children quarrel, fight, call names, etc. Usually, with the assimilation of the rules and norms of behavior, these direct manifestations of childish aggression give way to other, more peaceful forms of behavior. However, in a certain category of children, aggression as a stable form of behavior not only persists, but also develops, transforming into a stable personality quality. As a result, the child's productive potential decreases, the possibilities for full-fledged communication are narrowed, and his personal development is deformed. An aggressive child brings a lot of problems not only to others, but also to himself.
Touchy children. Among all the problematic forms of interpersonal relations, a special place is occupied by such a difficult experience as resentment towards others. Touchiness poisons the life of both the person himself and his loved ones. Coping with this painful reaction is not easy. Unforgiven grudges destroy friendships, lead to the accumulation of both explicit and latent conflicts in the family, and ultimately deform a person's personality.
Shy kids.Shyness is one of the most common and most difficult interpersonal problems. It is known that shyness generates a number of significant difficulties in communication between people and in their relationships. Among them are such as the problem of meeting new people, negative emotional states in the course of communication, difficulties in expressing one's opinion, excessive restraint, inept self-presentation, constraint in the presence of other people, etc.
Demonstrative children.Comparing oneself with a peer and demonstrating one's advantages are natural and necessary for the development of interpersonal relations: only by opposing himself to a peer and thus isolating his I, a child can return to a peer and perceive him as an integral, self-valuable personality. However, demonstrativeness often develops into personality trait, a character trait that brings a lot of negative experiences to a person. The main motive for the child's actions is a positive assessment of others, with the help of which he satisfies his own need for self-affirmation. Even when doing a good deed, a child does it not for the sake of another, but in order to demonstrate his own kindness to others. The possession of attractive objects is also a traditional form of self-demonstration. beautiful toy, children take it to kindergarten not to play with others, but to show, to show off.
For the development of full-fledged communication of children, for the formation of humane relations between them, it is not enough just to have other children and toys. By itself, the experience of attending a kindergarten or nursery does not give a significant "addition" to the social development of children. Thus, it was found that children from an orphanage who have unlimited opportunities for communication with each other, but who are brought up in a deficit of communication with adults, contacts with peers are poor, primitive and monotonous. These children, as a rule, are not capable of empathy, mutual assistance, independent organization of meaningful communication. For the emergence of these most important abilities, a correct, purposeful organization of children's communication is necessary.
However, what kind of influence should an adult have in order for the interaction of children to develop successfully?
In the younger preschool age, two ways are possible, firstly, this is the organization of joint activities of children; secondly, it is the formation of their subjective interaction. Psychological studies show that for younger preschoolers, subject interaction is ineffective. Children focus on their toys and are mainly engaged in their individual play. Their proactive appeals to each other are reduced to attempts to take away attractive objects from a peer. They either refuse or do not answer the requests and appeals of their peers. The interest in toys inherent in children of this age prevents the child from "seeing" his peer. The toy, as it were, "covers" the human qualities of another child.
Much more effective is the second way, in which an adult establishes relationships between children, draws their attention to the subjective qualities of each other: demonstrates the dignity of a peer, affectionately calls him by name, praises his partner, suggests repeating his actions, etc. With such influences, the adult increases children's interest in each other, emotionally colored actions, addressed to a peer, appear. It is the adult who helps the child to "open" his peer and see in him the same creature as himself.
One of the most effective forms of children's subjective interaction is joint round dance games for kids, in which they act simultaneously and in the same way (loaf, carousel, etc.). The lack of objects and competitiveness in such games, the community of actions and emotional experiences create a special atmosphere of unity with peers and closeness of children, which favorably affects the development of communication and interpersonal relationships.
However, what to do if the child clearly demonstrates any problematic forms of attitudes towards peers: if he offends others, or is constantly offended himself, or is afraid of peers?
It should be said right away that explanations of how to behave, positive examples, and even more punishments for the wrong attitude towards peers are ineffective for preschoolers (as well as for adults). The fact is that the attitude towards others expresses the deepest personal qualities of a person, which cannot be arbitrarily changed at the request of the parents. At the same time, in preschoolers, these qualities are not yet rigidly fixed and finally developed. Therefore, at this stage, negative tendencies can be overcome, but this should be done not by demands and punishments, but by the organization. own experience child.
Obviously, a humane attitude towards others is based on the ability to empathize, to empathy, which manifests itself in a variety of life situations. This means that it is necessary to educate not only ideas about proper behavior or communication skills, but above all moral feelings that allow us to accept and perceive other people's difficulties and joys as our own.
The most common method of forming social and moral feelings is the awareness of emotional states, a kind of reflection, enrichment of the dictionary of emotions, mastering a kind of "alphabet of feelings". The main method of upbringing moral feelings in both domestic and foreign pedagogy is the child's awareness of his experiences, self-knowledge and comparison with others. Children are taught to talk about their own experiences, compare their own qualities with those of others, and recognize and name emotions. However, all these techniques focus the child's attention on himself, his merits and achievements. Children are taught to listen to themselves, to name their states and moods, to understand their qualities and their merits. It is assumed that a child who is confident in himself, understands well his feelings, can easily take the position of another and share his feelings. However, these assumptions do not come true. The feeling and awareness of one's pain (both physical and mental) does not always lead to empathy for the pain of others, and a high assessment of one's own merits in most cases does not contribute to an equally high assessment of others.
In this regard, there is a need for new approaches to the formation of relationships among preschoolers. The main strategy of this formation should be not the reflection of one's experiences and not the strengthening of one's self-esteem, but, on the contrary, the removal of fixation on one's own I through the development of attention to another, a sense of community and involvement with him.
Recently, the formation of positive self-esteem, encouragement and recognition of the child's dignity have been the main methods of social and moral education. This method relies on the belief that positive self-esteem and reflection provide emotional comfort to the child, contribute to the development of his personality and interpersonal relationships. Such upbringing is aimed at oneself, at self-improvement and reinforcement of one's positive assessment. As a result, the child begins to perceive and experience only himself and the attitude towards himself from others. And this, as shown above, is the source of most problematic forms of interpersonal relationships.
As a result, the peer often begins to be perceived not as an equal partner, but as a competitor and rival. All this creates disunity between children, while the main task of upbringing is to form community and unity with others. The parenting strategy should involve the rejection of competition and, therefore, evaluation. Any assessment (both negative and positive) focuses the child's attention on his own positive and negative qualities, on the merits and demerits of another, and as a result provokes comparison of himself with others. All this gives rise to a desire to "please" an adult, to assert himself and does not contribute to the development of a sense of community with peers. While this principle is obvious, it is difficult to implement in practice. Encouragement and censure have become firmly established in the traditional methods of education.
It is also necessary to abandon the competitive principle in games and activities. Contests, competition games, duels and competitions are very common and are widely used in the practice of preschool education. However, all these games direct the child's attention to his own qualities and dignity, generate vivid demonstration, competitiveness, orientation towards the assessment of others and, ultimately, disunity with peers. That is why, in order to form friendly relations with peers, it is desirable to exclude games containing competitive moments and any forms of competition.
Often, numerous quarrels and conflicts arise from the possession of toys. As practice shows, the appearance of any object in the game distracts children from direct communication, in a peer the child begins to see a contender for an attractive toy, and not interesting partner... In this regard, at the first stages of the formation of humane relations, it is necessary, if possible, to abandon the use of toys and objects in order to direct the child's attention to peers as much as possible.
Another reason for quarrels and conflicts of children is verbal aggression (all kinds of "teasers", "name-calling", etc.). If a child can express positive emotions expressively (smile, laughter, gestures), then the most common and simple way of manifesting negative emotions is verbal expression (swearing, complaints). Therefore, the development of humane feelings should minimize the verbal interaction of children. Instead, conditioned signals, expressive movements, facial expressions, gestures, etc. can be used as means of communication.
Thus, the education of humane relations should be based on the following principles.
1. Non-value. Any assessment (even positive) promotes fixation on one's own qualities, advantages and disadvantages. This is the reason for the restriction of the child's statements to the peer. Minimizing value judgments, using expressive-mimic or gestural means of communication can contribute to non-judgmental interaction.
2. Refusal from real objects and toys.As practice shows, the appearance of any object in the game distracts children from direct interaction. Children begin to communicate "about" something, and communication itself becomes not a goal, but a means of interaction.
3. Lack of competitiveness in games.
Since the fixation on one's own qualities and merits generates a vivid demonstration, competitiveness and orientation towards the assessment of others, it is better to exclude games and activities that provoke children to manifest these reactions.
The main goal is to form community with others and the ability to see peers as friends and partners. The sense of community and the ability to "see" the other are the foundation on which a humane attitude towards people is built. It is this attitude that engenders empathy, empathy, compassion, and encouragement.
Formation of conflict-free communication in preschool children
Introduction
1. Features of communication between preschoolers and peers
2. Development of communication with a peer in preschool age
3. Formation of a benevolent attitude towards peers
Conclusion
Literature
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