Having a lover pros and cons. Here are the significant disadvantages of a relationship with a married man. Now for the pros

“Oh, this love-carrot…”

A feeling that makes our minds shut down. And what kind of men we do not like: with their fishing trips, friends, football. But there is such a completely separate category of men as "Married". And no, to sit at home and please their very beloved wife, so they walk along the street "without a muzzle" in order to find a sort of "kitty". And what is most interesting - they find it! And what woman does not fall for a well-groomed and courteous man?! Especially if he does not have a ring on ring finger right hand. And to pretend to be free and not burdened family ties these men know how to 100% how good actors skillfully play the role of a single male. And then what is left for a girl in love to do, who after a few months hears the phrase “Sorry, I'm married!”?! To try on the status of a mistress and hope that someday he will leave his "boring wife"?!

Let's figure it out!

Pros of having an affair with a married man!

1. Definitely amazing sex!

Variety and spark will be more than enough for you, because sex with legal wife already clearly boring or he was just afraid to offer her something new! A man will try his best to be the only one for you. strong man, show all kinds of signs of attention: bouquets of flowers, sweets, going to a restaurant, etc. Men rarely indulge their wives with such gifts, because they already spend a lot of money on the family.

2. A pleasant plus in such a relationship is the absence of "everyday life".

No need to wash his things, cook day by day, worry when he is late from work and see him tired and dissatisfied look. When meeting with you, a man will go out of his way to show all his virtues. After all, the wife has long studied all the shortcomings. And certainly, exactly like him, is not a mystery.

With irony:

"Love connection married man- limited liability partnership

No control from a lover opens up a lot of opportunities for you. No need to report where and with whom you are going, what you will do and what time you will return! Yes, and you can meet with your lover at a convenient time for you, and at the same time look for a more suitable companion!

4. Among the oligarchs there is an opinion that more money spend on a mistress, the more solid you look. A lover is like a prestigious feature! She can't be cheap. Therefore, you can also take advantage of acquaintances that are beneficial for you and get a good job.

Perhaps that's all the advantages of such a novel. A little, isn't it?!

About the cons!

Not just cons, but quite weighty arguments not in favor of such a relationship. Being a mistress is not as pleasant as it seems.

1. You are unhappy!

And this is a fact. No prospect of development of relations! Men rarely go for divorce, and this is more the rule than the exception. And why would he get divorced if as many as two women are trying to please him, and he is in “chocolate”. It remains for you, exactly like your wife, if she knows everything, to be jealous, to bite your elbows and worry!

2. Such relationships not only cannot be advertised, but also carefully hidden.

You, as a partisan, must sneak on dates and carefully code for the surrounding area. And it's not about what friends or neighbors will say, it's just that you may have mutual acquaintances, and he, of course, does not want information to get to the front of the "enemy" and destroy the family.

3. Holidays - the time when a loved one is near!

Not in this case! He has a wife at home, a bunch of relatives who always come to New Year, March eighth and birthday. So cuckoo you in female loneliness! Not very nice?!

4. No matter how dear you are, family is sacred!

It is worth getting used to hearing such a phrase when he urgently needs to run home, because his wife is sick or his son has a parent meeting.

5. Jealousy!

No matter how hard you try to put up with the status of a mistress, she will overcome you. After all, women are the same owners. Every night you will imagine how he goes to bed with his wife, and maybe not just sleep ... and the phrase: “We haven’t had sex for a long time!” won't calm you down.

6. Soon this whole situation will start to annoy you.

His constant glance at his watch, meetings in deserted places, nervousness at every phone ring. And for any attempts to legitimize your relationship and divorce your wife, you will hear: “Well, not now, you understand.” And this will not last now long years. As practice shows, if a man has not left his wife in the first year of your relationship, then he will never leave her, because it is convenient for him: on the one hand, satiety and cleanliness, on the other - sex and tranquility!

Really, do you need it?

I am not a supporter of relationships with married men! Moreover, if a man decides to cheat on his wife, then he will surely cheat on you with ease - you will also become bored with him.

But in modern world everything changes: husbands cheat on their wives, wives cheat on their husbands, and I will not change my mind! Better to be single than a "rubber doll"! Respect yourself first! And remember that you should not do what you would not wish for yourself. All life is arranged according to the boomerang principle and everything returns to normal!

In defense of such men, I do not want to say anything.

“Happy is the one who can love his wife like a mistress, and unhappy who allows his mistress to love himself like a husband.” V. Klyuchevsky

They are polygamous creatures, only there should be a measure in everything! Everyone is responsible for the one he tamed. And to powder your head with promises is the lot of the weak and not confident! I do not condemn or approve of such relationships. Everything is individual. Happen in life various situations! Just at a certain point, you need to be able to get out of them! And whether it is necessary to get into it, it's not up to me to decide!

Know your worth, my dear women!

Mistress- from the word love. But is it so wonderful? A lover is one who meets a married man. Otherwise, this is no longer a mistress, but a beloved girl, which radically changes the matter. But we still talk now about the status of a mistress. " open relationship and no obligations. And in general, I use it for sex! ”- girls who are caught in the network of an affair with a married man think something like this. pluses and minuses for both sides.Let's leave male traitors alone for now, and talk about why we girls need the "proud" title of mistress.Let's start with the minuses.

"Honorable" second place

Starting an affair with married man, you voluntarily agree to be not the only one, not the main one, not the most important, and, therefore, not loved. Beloved is always in the first place compared to other representatives of the fair sex. And you are just entertainment, a toy, but not a favorite at all. He solemnly vows to talk seriously with his wife about the divorce, because there has been nothing between them for a long time? As a rule, men have fun with girls on the side of boredom in family life, or for self-affirmation. But few people dare to leave the warm, familiar place with their wife under the wing. He himself chose his constant companion of life. So you have little chance of becoming the first. Do you want to be second?

Top secret object

On your own bitter experience, and the experience of my girlfriends, I know for sure that with a married lover there is nothing to count on joint visits to cafes, walks in a snow-covered city, trips to the sea for the weekend. He is always afraid that he can be seen, he does not give you such gifts that can compromise him in the eyes of your mutual acquaintances. In general, complete conspiracy, classified appearances and passwords. Cool, but for the time being.

One day you really want come for a friend's birthday with her boyfriend. But there is no one to come with, he's like Secret agent. Does he introduce you to his friends? How does it represent? "Meet my good friend Masha." Well, or a work colleague. Anyone but who you would like to be. How is it on your phone? "My kitty"? And you have him - "Petrovich from the forestry." Very romantic! This constant lie that surrounds you and your relationship is unpleasant in itself, and even more so when you still want something else, something real. And here he is, "James Bond" - unreliable, dishonest, and always afraid of possible exposure.

Complete submission on your part

No, he certainly can. go with you to a resort for a week, but certainly somewhere far away from all your friends, under the pretext of, and never coordinating your desires with your capabilities. He has set aside a few days for his entertainment, and you must give up everything, because he has no other time for you. There can be no talk of any planning of joint leisure. You are a lover, a creature without rights, and must completely obey his schedule busy man. Moreover, mind you, he is occupied with the interests of his legitimate family. A capricious mistress who disagrees with his schedule is fired.

Love is trouble

Most terrible What can happen to a girl in the status of a mistress is love. If you managed to fall in love with your married boyfriend, then I sincerely sympathize. All of the above disadvantages are amplified several times when a girl is in love, wants to get reciprocity, but receives only promises, conspiracy and treatment like a toy. Men are arranged differently, they really sincerely do not understand how a girl could hope for something, voluntarily agreeing to a relationship with a married man. He just wanted to have fun. Nothing personal. And she seemed to be giggling too, because she was also having fun. And now in tears, and with claims. Therefore, do not blame these "scoundrels" and "goats", try to immediately clearly understand for yourself the motives of a married man who looks at a young office worker. Are you ready to just have some fun? And where is the guarantee that painfully non-reciprocal love will not strangle you later?

What do you think about about the future of such relationships? Will you get married and name your daughter Vasya? Trust me, he doesn't think about it at all.

Now for the pros

Maybe I will disappoint someone now, but there are no pluses in an affair with a married man. Do not invent anything for yourself, just run away from him.

There are, of course, other novels where the opposite is true. Then there is love. And that's a completely different story...

Throughout their lives, they are attracted to each other. It is, of course, a man and a woman. They meet, disperse, and this process is endless. It's impossible to stop him. But a woman can make her own fateful choice on her own. To do this, you need to choose the right man.

Novels with married men are now very common, what to expect from them will tell us the site. Woman starting a relationship with married man should know about all the positive and negative features of a married man.

Currently, there are several categories of married lovers:

• truly married
• much older
• much younger
• romantic.

Married for real

This type of men is one of those with whom it is best not to delay relations. A little adventure will suffice. Such a man is suitable for unloving persons.

Pros of a relationship:

• If a woman is also not free, then keeping such a relationship secret will be beneficial to both.
• The search for diversity not only in relationships, but also in sex on the part of a man guarantees boring sex. It can be like sex in an elevator, or on the roof of a house.
• With such a man, it will not be necessary to go through the technique of sex. He himself knows everything. You can just relax.

Relationship cons:

• Your sexual work with own wife will constantly be tested on his mistress. And it won't always happen on purpose.
• Such lover will constantly reproach his wife, but, at the same time, will say that he will never leave her.
• A man is always looking for in his mistress what he does not receive in a home bed. That is why he will demand something more from his mistress.
• Only a woman will have to adapt to her lover. After all, he already has a family.

Much older

A sufficiently adult lover has one indisputable plus. He can liberate any woman.

Pros of a relationship:

• His experience. Such a lover will be able to teach everything that he himself has mastered.
• The presence of such a man in a young mistress flatters him. In view of this, he tries with all his might to keep his soul mate around him. They are on the move various gifts and increased attention.

Relationship cons:

• It is impossible to remake it for your beloved.
• As for sex, age will still make itself felt. And although he will try to reach a high bar, he is far from the pace of a young organism.

Much younger

If the lover is young, his age is 20-25 years, then he is at the peak of his sexual activity. If a woman is 5-10 years older than him, then they will be happy in sexually, the site says. In the relationship between such partners, there are also positive and negative points.

Pros of a relationship:

• Presence around you young man makes a woman take better care of herself. As a result, a woman goes in for sports and begins to look younger herself.
• The young man is obsessed with sex. A woman will never hear that he is tired. This is a perpetual motion machine.

Relationship cons:

• Some women begin to develop an inferiority complex (because next to such a young and Attractive man to which everyone pays attention).
• Some of these men impose the role of mother on a woman and always complain. Sometimes a woman has to deal with the problems of her "son".

Romantic

It is intended for all those who love poetry, romantic walks, as well as wonderful words to your address.

Pros of a relationship:

• Such a man can teach everything that we do not notice in modern life. This, for example, is the beauty of clouds, a summer shower, etc.
• The very process of courtship romance is very beautiful. He will take his lady to the best places.

Relationship cons:

• The romantic is the biggest egoist.
• In the foreground of this man are relationships, but only in the background - sex. If a woman agrees with this, then she will be happy with her chosen one.

Now, knowing what to expect from a future married lover, a woman can safely choose her future.

Relationships with a married man cause both interest and horror. Some girls imagine with fear similar situation while others see nothing wrong with it. Similar relationships special. They have their pros and cons.

Why do men take lovers

How many men, so many reasons. Can be distinguished frequent problems leading to this situation:

1. Lost feelings for wife. Not all marriages are for love, it just so happens. And even if at the time of the celebration it seemed like it was forever, everything can change. No one gives guarantees for feelings, but the soul wants warmth and emotions.
2. irrepressible libido. Some men need sex in large quantities when their wives are tenth interested in it. In order not to destroy the tuned life, the husband chooses to be satisfied on the side and does not disturb his wife with needs.
3. conqueror instinct. The final prize - sex, is not always as interesting as the process of achieving it. Not only women, but also men love flirting. When feelings in the family are dulled, then the man is walking look for emotions on the other.
4. Love. This feeling comes suddenly and no one is immune from it. Not a search, but an accident takes a man out of his usual family rut, which can be quite difficult to resolve.
5. self-affirmation. “I have a wife, but isn’t anyone else interested in me?” - so the husband thinks, if uncertainty - strong point his character. A mistress helps to feel in demand and interesting.

Pros of a mistress

A lover is, first of all, a status in a relationship. It becomes suddenly, but sometimes consciously. Having met a man, you can not immediately understand whether he has a family or not. And then get a surprise in the form of a wife and three children.

There are girls who consciously prefer this format of relationships. In any case, it's a choice. To be honest, it has its advantages.

1. In a free format of relationships, a woman is difficult to control and nothing can be forbidden to her. Meetings, travel, communication - this is only her personal business. Some women choose such relationships precisely because of freedom.
2. Relationships with a married person include a rich set of emotions: passion from rare meetings; adrenaline from being "caught"; compassion, pity and a sense of self-necessity, because "the wife does not understand." It's hard to get bored in a relationship like this.
3. If the mistress is a sweetheart, then he will not forget to buy flowers for a date, a gift and ensure a trip to a restaurant. Such men love to pamper their girlfriends like children and fulfill their whims.
4. Rich men donate apartments and cars, arrange the material life of their mistresses. It is rare that they themselves are not aware of this, and in some ways it looks like a deal.
5. Lack of household chores. Of course, if the meetings take place on the female territory, it would be nice to keep it in order. But neither ironing, nor cleaning, nor cooking falls on the shoulders of a mistress. To pamper a man with delicacies or not is her decision, but not an obligation.
6. Sex with a mistress is more emotional. A man invests more in the process, looking for new ways, experimenting. Often, it is because of insipid intimacy that intrigues happen in the family.

Cons of a mistress

There are also back side medals. You should not close your eyes to the cons of a mistress, and be ready for them.

1. The mistress will always be after the family. She will receive congratulations on March 8 on the 7th, 9th, or 10th. Happy New Year - January 1, or even after Christmas, when working days come. A man, if his relationship remains secret, will spend weekends and holidays with his family.
2. A man bound by family obligations is not always free when needed. If you add work and hobbies to the family, then it is difficult to spontaneously count on his help and attention. Emergencies will have to decide for yourself.
3. Meetings may be canceled at any time. If he gets sick, he will rest at home. If there are plans in the family, they are a priority.
4. Calls and messages are a risk for relationships with both his wife and his mistress. It may be comfortable for a man to exist, but for a girl it can become a problem. It is difficult to resolve issues in this mode, and it is unlikely that it will be possible to simply talk.
5. If a woman is prone to emotional masochism, then a relationship without a specific future will only bring her suffering. A man can promise, but not leave his wife. She will wait and spend evenings in an empty apartment, rejoicing at rare meetings.
6. Children born in such a relationship are likely to be unrecognized or unwanted. Some women decide to keep the pregnancy and take care of the upbringing. If a man does not leave for one of the families completely, accepts the child as his own, but does not fully participate in his life - a difficult test for milestones. Having met his father and wife on the street, the child will not be able to call him “dad”, holidays and vacations are only with mom.
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Are there any prospects

Maybe, but not in every case. Women who have been waiting for years for him to leave his wife are more common. And there is no guarantee that the lover will not return back to his wife. Some men are quite good at living with two families, and sometimes women accept it.

Mistress's perspectives on happy marriage- 50 to 50. Divorce and new family can also be a positive development. Not all cheating men are scoundrels, and not all wives are unfortunate victims. Perhaps a mistress is exactly the woman with whom you can live your whole life. And the wife is already set to create other relationships.

When one of the lovers is not free - a serious test for the relationship. By listening to your feelings, not your emotions, you can do right choice, and live long life with a loved man.

Romance novels where at least one of the couple is not free is always a test. It is even more difficult when both partners are married. Nevertheless, such relationships are very popular now. The question is brewing: what is it that attracts the relationship of married lovers? What do people experience more - problems or drive? Or maybe it's about real feelings?

It should be noted that the stronger and the weaker sex venture into forbidden relationships according to different reasons. For example, some ladies admit that they are interested in the image of a "double life". fling in this case akin dangerous game. Others go to adultery because of problems with their spouse, others - for the sake of revenge for treason.

The most interesting reason lies in the psychological problem of children beautiful person. There is a category of ladies who are looking for a purely detached relationship. That is, they do not need treason to develop into something more - marriage. Rather, they are even afraid of it. The behavior is justified by the fact that in childhood the mother did not pay due attention to the girl, and the father did not show feelings, behaved coldly and restrainedly. And, perhaps, the option when a lady does not need marriage is ideal for men. But these are a very small percentage.

Why else does a married lady prefer to date someone who already has a wife? Because, unlike a bachelor, a married man is always well-groomed, neat, gallant and knows a lot about courtship. Who would not want to assert themselves next to such a gentleman?

Representatives of the stronger sex explain trips to the “left” also in different ways. Someone needs a change of scenery, someone is not satisfied with the bed, and someone else is faced with a banal midlife crisis. The latter, by the way, very much requires confirmation of the status of a “desired man”.

Psychologists also note that the nature of the wife who is nearby greatly influences the betrayal of the stronger sex. So this is understandable! - you say, - all spouses influence each other. Yes, but this situation somewhat pointed. Here is the wife:

• Boss at work.
• Manages all processes at home.
• She earns much more than her husband.

It is no secret how painfully the male gender endures such circumstances. When a lady suppresses her companion for many years, his dignity falls catastrophically. And, by the way, with such a wife, you don’t really want to go to bed. So, the phrase about dignity (which is really there to hide) is quite ambiguous. Such representatives with great pleasure become married lovers. And it is better if the new passion is also not free. This has its own advantages, which we will talk about.

Are You Both Married: Pros and Cons

A married mistress of a married man? As it turned out, even psychologists, answering the question: is it necessary to continue dating if both are married? - respond positively. This will be especially useful for some women - the removal from everyday life, the sharpness of sensations and the always missing confirmation that the attractiveness is still in force. There is also a plus that over time, women overestimate their family life and able to love her husband again. The same goes for a married lover. But this is provided that the connection was conscious and none of the parties expected the notorious "something more."

If one of the partners is still free, he may not worry that, having found a mate for marriage, he will face conflicts and grievances. A conscious lover will accept the situation with due understanding and let go of the loved one. And that's a plus too.

Well, if the partner is a born bachelor or a partner is a feminist, an affair with a family man will provide an opportunity to maintain their freedom and integrity, which is also very good.

Also, the advantages are expressed in the following:

• Meetings take place infrequently and for the sake of sex, so there is simply no time for quarrels. There's no place here family values, because of which you have to conflict with your spouse. the main task lovers - to find an excuse for their delays in the face of the lawful.
• Courtship and long conversations are not about them. After all, you need to have time to be alone between work and home. But is that a plus? Yes. People do not have time to get fed up, because feelings will not fade away for a long time.
• Calmness, experience and the ability to bypass sharp corners. It is understandable, because there are adults who have seen a lot.
• Lack of desire to take someone away from the family. On the initial stage the question is discussed without hesitation. Partners understand that family is one thing, sex is another. No one will require a stamp in the passport, as usual, happens in unequal pairs.
• Finance. No matter how mercantile it may sound, they also matter. Expensive gifts arouse curiosity in legal spouses, therefore they are given only for a birthday or special holiday. Along the way, disappears headache on the topic: what would such a gift?
• No risk of catching the disease. Both of them are married, which means that there is no need or time to meet with any suspicious personalities.
• Relationships of lovers do not cross forbidden lines. No one will suddenly come to visit unexpectedly (which sometimes they allow themselves unmarried women), will not send flowers to wrong moment. Both will do everything possible so that no one guesses what is happening.
• This relationship is very easy to break. To remove, it is enough to talk about the impossibility / unwillingness, after which you can be sure that the partner will not disturb you - without tantrums, tears and night calls. Everyone has their own worries, there is no time to deal with nonsense.
• The main plus is adrenaline and positive emotions. Intrigue always adds color to the ordinary. And that's exactly what people are looking for.

Cons of forbidden fruit

Married lovers. There are fewer cons here, but they are still present. The main danger is that sometimes lovers get a little carried away. Not only conscious adults enter into such a relationship, but also those who have not matured, with terrible inferiority complexes. It happens that a person falls in love for real and passionately desires to possess his beloved / mine completely and completely. Even despite the fact that he himself does not plan to divorce. Well, if the desire to create joint family mutual, bad - if one-sided. After all, the second partner, who needs only sex and adrenaline, does not need “Santa Barbara”. Yes, he can stop meeting and leave, but will they let him go, will they let him live in peace?

Often hysterical persons destroy families with their behavior. As we already know, for stronger half this behavior is less common. But beautiful lady capable of desperate acts. Especially if a woman, being married, is deeply unhappy. It happens that a lady, therefore, turns on treason in order to escape from her husband to another and put a new stamp in her passport. But the attitude of a lover to a partner is often completely different. His first task is to save what he created - a family.

This is where the problems begin. Even the strongest couple can fall apart under the strong onslaught of a desperate one. And everything will end badly, not only for the spouses, but also for the mistress herself. Indeed, after calls, threats, going to work, meetings with his wife and the rest, which an angry fury is capable of, the beloved is unlikely to want to return.

Another downside is unplanned pregnancy. Especially difficult in this situation will be the weak half of the pair. After all, the test of living with her husband under the same roof and lying that the child is a joint one will fall precisely on her lot. Terminating a pregnancy is also not an easy act, and again, it is up to the woman to decide the issue.

Perhaps the mismatch of goals and pregnancy are the most dangerous cons, which they possess long term relationship family people.

How long will it last?

How long do relationships between non-free people last? These relationships are perhaps the strongest, based on feelings. But the duration may vary. Much depends not only on the couple, but also on the legal spouses of each of them. It happens that the second half knows or guesses about the adventures of the faithful / oh “to the left”, but do nothing. The reasons for this can be very different, but they often decide the duration of the connection. So, lovers have been dating for ten or more years. Sometimes strong halves even periodically live with new passions.

Although, the less often there are dates, the stronger the mutual attraction. And, of course, the more the morally legitimate passion forbids and crushes, the brighter and stronger love is. But when there is no resistance, then there is no adrenaline: feelings weaken, a hated habit appears, from which a person fled into the arms of his mistress. If you look from the side of your wife, then this tactic is very wise and true. Sooner or later, the beloved will get bored, and he will return back to the nest.

Or it can happen the other way around - the legal one will put an ultimatum and force you to choose. And when a partner chooses (a wife, of course), she will do everything so that he forgets his rival as soon as possible.

Feelings can also cool down on their own, without third-party intervention. In this situation, the man will begin to look for a replacement, since resting mentally and getting physical pleasure has already become a habit, and the previous partner is not able to give this.

The duration can be a month, six months, a year, ten. Statistics do not have correct results, because the timing of the novel of not free people is much more difficult to calculate than the timing of open relationships. In addition, few people admit (even anonymously), they say, I am married and have married lover. Even today such adventures are strongly condemned.

What can be said for sure that the duration of such love depends on:

• Matching goals.
• Spiritual intimacy.
• Sexual compatibility.

If this set of pluses is present, then the relationship will last much longer. If one of the links falls out - less, etc.

The least will last love at a distance. You won’t have sex on the phone and you won’t feed on spirituality. Because if the couple is in different cities, one of the satellites (most likely a man) will go over to married mistress which will be nearby.

We are not advocating illicit relationships, but we mean that for some people, romance "on the side" is the only outlet in life. It is possible that these people have finally found their true soul mates and will enter into a legal union in the future. Therefore, now we will try to give some advice on how to behave correctly, and what should not be allowed so as not to destroy intimacy.

• The first and married ladies, and gentlemen who have a chosen one should in no case criticize their own and other legal spouses. Criticism, sounding in a love situation, easily turns into a joke, a mockery, which does not honor lovers. In addition, if a person criticizes his own, then this is perceived as normal, but when he hears criticism of his wife / husband from someone else's lips, it is painful.
• Do not complain about the faithful. Firstly, do not wash dirty linen in public, secondly, family squabbles concern only two, the third is superfluous, and thirdly, who likes to go on a date with joy in their hearts and leave with an unpleasant aftertaste from the load of other people's problems?
• Do not push morally. If one of you is for free love, and the other is against, because he wanted more, it is better to disperse. After such a turn, only torment awaits you.
• When deciding to leave, do not hesitate. Leaving leave! Remember that you have your rightful passion, switch, pay more attention to marriage and children. Perhaps now the situation will turn into better side and you will thank your ex for teaching you to appreciate the most important thing - family.