Man is born with primordial self-love. Notice how the babies cry and spare no effort to demand food, protection, attention from their parents. A person is born with self-love. However, over the years, this feeling disappears. Over time, a person begins to understand that he needs to renew his love for himself, which is why he turns to psychological advice.

Site specialists psychological assistance the site claims that it is important for a person to love himself first of all. The only problem is that each individual is taught to think that self-love is selfishness. In order not to be considered a selfish person and receive approval from others, an individual must stop loving himself and start caring about others. Are these ideas familiar to you?

1. Take care of others than yourself.
2. Thinking only about yourself is bad.

Man is by nature loving himself. If a person stops loving himself, this is akin to the fact that he stops wearing warm clothes when it is winter outside, or to be treated when he is sick. Not loving yourself means stopping protecting yourself, caring, supporting, understanding, appreciating, etc. As a person wants to receive love from the opposite sex, what he expects to see in the actions of his loving partner, in the same way he should take care of himself. In other words, what kind of love you expect from other people, you should show the same love for yourself.

Why do you need to love yourself? Psychologists say that a person becomes useful to others only when he himself is healthy, beautiful, happy, rich and knowledgeable. Self-love is caring for own health, harmony of the soul, happiness and well-being. What's wrong with wanting your own happiness?

Thus, self-love is an instinctive feeling that prompts a person to maintain their health and take care of their own well-being in the first place. But the problem is that the society in which the individual lives does not want to see such a person. Society needs self-sacrificing people, that is, those who do not love themselves, but are trying to earn the respect and love of others by helping them and providing various services.

Society calls self-love a selfish feeling, condemning everyone who shows it. This is why many refuse to love themselves, which is why they make a mistake. After all, no one can take care of a person better than himself.

How to love yourself?

Lack of self-love makes a person look for it in other people. From this he becomes dependent on them. He completely immerses himself in the life of those with whom he meets. That is why you can hear such an expression as "completely absorbed in someone else's life." A person who does not love does not take care of his life, because he is not interested in it. He enjoys taking care of the lives of other people, especially those who give him what he lacks. Parting is painful for such a person, since not just people are leaving, but the love that he felt thanks to them. It is during these periods that the love addiction when a person suffers and wants to return former partner without taking care of your life. And here it is very important to love yourself.

Lack of self-love makes a person strive to please everyone. In principle, everyone strives for this, but some suffer a little less from this, others a little more. The more a person feels an emptiness inside himself, the more people he needs in order to fill it. That's why sometimes literally every fan counts, no matter how worthless or uninteresting he may be. His attention already speaks of interest, which allows him to think about what he loves. And this is so nice for someone who does not love himself.

Lack of self-love makes a person sacrifice, become a masochist or a slave. Think about why so many people endure bullying from their soulmates? Some are beaten, others are betrayed, others are deceived, others are humiliated, etc. Why do all these people tolerate neglect of themselves? It's very simple: they just don't love themselves. Their partners are the only people who show romantic interest in them. And for such unfortunate people - it's at least something than nothing at all. Often, people without self-love very often allow others to mock them. They do this because they feel their own impunity. Why are they allowed to do this? Often, the "victim" provokes her "tyrant" herself. After all, self-dislike does not just arise! Almost always, a person becomes this way only because, when he was a child, his parents did not love him. So he got used to at least some attention from others, even if it was accompanied by beatings and insults.

Lack of self-love forces a person to live someone else's life. Very often such a person wears a "mask" of some kind of image that is more attractive to others than his real nature. Sometimes a person gets so used to playing that he forgets who he really is. But at the same time, he constantly feels emptiness inside himself, especially when people admire not him, but the image that he portrays.

Lack of self-love can lead a person to lose the meaning of life. The older he gets, the less he understands what life is for. What do people live for? What is love? And other questions plague such a person. This is not a cry from his soul, but, most likely, is already a quiet whisper of an already tortured soul. She tries to find at least one source of her inspiration in the eternal, but does not find it. Why? Probably because a person never learned to love himself. After all, it is love that lives the soul and heart of a person.

Self-love is very important, which a person understands when he constantly encounters the ingratitude of others who did not appreciate his efforts and sacrifices, and also sees that all his desires are not realized. It's important for every reader to understand that other people don't have to make you happy. Moreover, they will not be able to make you happy, because they do not know how to read your thoughts and do not know your desires. It is important to love yourself, that is, please yourself and make yourself happy, in order to at least understand how others can do this if they want it.

Self-love forces a person to take care of himself, to please himself, to take care of his physical and mental health. This differs from the public understanding when self-love means that a person does not hear anyone, uses everyone and makes himself superior to everyone. Because society misinterprets self-love, it promotes the deliverance of every person from this feeling... After all, how good it is when people do not think about themselves, but only care about the well-being of others. It looks more like voluntary slavery, when a good feeling is presented in the form of sin.

Self-love is caring and maintaining your existence at the level that you personally desire. You take care of yourself without forcing anyone to do it. Love yourself in modern society not accepted. But how can you evaluate someone if you do not value yourself? The ideology that the selfish person is the selfish person to be avoided has led to perverse love. Not only does a person not know how to love himself, he also becomes incapable of loving others.

Self-love - how is it manifested? You, for example, accept your body as it is given by nature. Yes, you are not a top model with parameters 90-60-90. You are given a body that can be beautiful or ugly, regardless of the parameters. Much depends on the state of the organism itself, on how you dress and present yourself. There are fat people who dress stylishly and leave positive impression from others. After all fat person- not a sentence. You can be smart, witty, skilled. And this is more important than the parameters of your body.

Natural love manifests itself in accepting yourself for who you are. This does not mean that you should not strive for some improvement in yourself. If you do not like something, then you have the right to change it. But as long as you have not changed, you have the right to love yourself. You respect yourself as you are, and you will respect yourself later when you change. Why not allow yourself to?

If you do not love yourself, then you do not know how to accept negative sides, weak spots, flaws in their personality. If you do not know how to do this in relation to yourself to a loved one- to yourself, then you will not be able to do this in relation to other people. You are incapable of falling in love if you see and reject weaknesses and flaws in your partner.

Lack of natural love leads to the desire to fill the void with the feelings of other people. Now you are not just rejoicing in someone else's love for yourself, but demanding it. If someone does not love you, then you are offended, because the void is not filled. You demand to be loved. Now this becomes the main condition in a relationship: if you are loved, then you are ready to make this person happy, and if they do not love, then you will cause suffering.

Self-love is not a selfish manifestation of a person. It's about a healthy feeling when you learn to value, respect, protect yourself, regardless of whether you are an ideal person in all plans or not.

How to love yourself? Here are some techniques:

1. Realize your worth. To do this, you need to see your positive and personality sides. What are you good at? What can you do? How have you already benefited society? Appreciate yourself for everything you possess.
2. Take care of your health. Don't just try to be beautiful, be healthy as well. Always make an effort to keep every part of your body healthy.
3. Celebrate your strengths. Focus more on the good, compliment yourself.
4. Stop comparing yourself to other people. How can you be worse or better than others if you are a unique person? No need to compare yourself, value yourself for who you are.
5. Do not divide yourself into good and bad qualities... Although you are advised to focus on your merits, best position will not divide himself into good and bad at all. Appreciate what you have in yourself: love your strengths, respect and accept what you think is your weakness. You are a whole person who is good in all your qualities.
6. Make failure experiences. Failures do not exist, you do not need to suffer because of them. Let any failed business be an experience for you, where you can address the wrong steps taken and change them by improving yourself.
7. Take care of yourself the way you want other people to take care of you. Make yourself happy the way you expect others to.
8. Put your wants and needs, interests and opinions first. Pursue your desires and interests first. At the same time, simply take into account the opinions and needs of others. You do not ignore either your own or other people's desires, but live at your own discretion, taking into account the fact that other people's rights and freedom should not be infringed upon, and also some needs are taken into account.

It is important to already allow yourself to be that person and live the way you want it. If this does not infringe on the rights and freedom of others, then you can afford it, despite the fact that someone may not like it.

How do you end up loving yourself?

Allow yourself to live for your pleasure. After all, ultimately a person is born himself and dies alone. No one will live your life for you, no one will survive the grief that you are experiencing, no one can make you as happy as you want. You go through everything alone. So why let others control your life? Love yourself and start living your life with pleasure.

It happens like this: you stand in the subway and see around you only sad and gray faces without a gap. They are boring, always dissatisfied with something and deprived of good looks. Yes, you can admire the amazing words of the Apostle Paul about love, but the very idea that you can love these people around you seems to be the height of absurdity. Or not?

Beneath me sat gloomy teenagers with loud gurgling music in headphones and lowered eyes, resolutely not ready to give up their seats to anyone else. A quiet alcoholic, falling asleep, is breathing in the back of my head. A grandmother with a trolley and a bag pressed against my right side with a thick belly. Where I am? Why do I need these people? I don't need them: it would be better if they weren't.

And then I - which has already become a habit - say to myself: “Stop! What I see now is just a sign of my mental death and, perhaps, depression - and nothing else. Just a test of my current state. " I am sad from myself. Fortunately, experience says that such sensations pass.

And in fact, the same fat grandmother suddenly turns to me: “Son, can you help me pull out my purse? You see, the old one is going to the cemetery to visit her husband. " Of course, I will gladly help, no question! Turning around, I look for a moment into her eyes: they are worn out by time, but beautiful and full of light. And I just went to hell - before I died - and came back.

Love or death

People are disgusting, and sometimes you don't want to love them. At the same time, many of us feel that it is better to love than to hate or despise. But what can we do here - and do we need to do something?

Someone will say: “I have my loved ones, I have Good friends and interesting companies. And with cattle and bad or just boring people, one thing is enough for me - to stay away from them. " The Christian cannot agree with this by definition. V Christian tradition love is too high, so it turns out that if you don’t love (okay, say, “don’t try to love”) people, you can go and look for another, more comfortable faith. It is here that the special distinguishing mark of a Christian is, this is the most important criterion for a good-quality spiritual life, without which everything is emptiness and self-deception.

But is it real - to take and "love" like that? The bar set is infinitely high, right up to love for enemies and those who hate us. Who, with the exception of a select few, is capable of this? Maybe it's just beautiful words, an unattainable ideal, which is given only so that I can look at it and better understand how bad and helpless I am?

Yes, this is a limitless and great goal, but no, this does not mean that I cannot take the first steps right now. Of course, in this, almost all of us here are teapots. Nevertheless, here are my two pennies on the topic. Between the hell of dislike and love there is a path along which you can and should move ...

"Loving is bad"

The most ingenious thing I've heard on this topic, the words of one priest to an inquirer: "There is only one way to learn to love - to start loving badly." These words are simple to the point of primitiveness, but they have everything necessary and sufficient for beginners.

But first, we need to remove one obstacle. Majority modern people think of love as a special state, which in the right moment falls (or does not fall) on you from the sky. And then you either “love” or “don’t love” - there is no third option. But this is just a misunderstanding of the term, which has overgrown with a million of the most different meanings... I will not delve into the definition of love, suffice it to say that love is, first of all, behavior and a conscious decision. This means that love is not static: it is not a ready state, but a path. And in order to come somewhere, you have to walk, and the first steps are awkward and not at all like the love of the saints.

It's not all that difficult. If I decided to love a person, to begin with, I can not avoid him - at least physically be near, not turn away from him and not sit away. Then I have a thousand actions at my disposal. I can pay attention to him, I can warmly shake his hand, I can ask about his life. I can call him or write to him by email and wish him, say, a happy birthday. I can give him a gift or give him money if he needs it. I can - albeit badly - do him good in unilaterally without expecting that he will sympathize with me or change for the better. It is important that this gradually changes myself. The gloom of unloving seems to remain, but light appears in it, and over time it becomes brighter for me myself. This is what we are capable of doing — and in essence we are only capable of doing this.

“But this is not love, but just a boring fulfillment of the law,” they will tell me. - And the feelings, and the heart, which you cannot command?

Naughty emotions

Indeed, no matter what we do, naughty emotions remain. Anger, contempt and disgust, resentment and bitterness - they cannot be abolished by an act of will. You can smile tightly, give insincere gifts or say humble words (popular with the Orthodox) like “forgive me, a sinner,” but the poison of hatred remains in your heart. When, in my youth, I first heard the advice to pray for my particular enemy, I fervently protested: “I cannot do this sincerely! It will be a lie and hypocrisy, which will make me disgusting myself. "

Indeed, although emotions are not love, they are important. To love without feelings really means to love “badly,” imperfectly, not in its entirety. And there is absolutely no need to deceive yourself or try to call yourself good feelings in the imagination.

However, there is a connection between actions and feelings. After all, over a century ago, James and Lange formulated their famous law: Emotions follow behavior. When I sit down at the same table with a suspicious stranger, my feelings for him inevitably change. When I, overpowering myself, take an interest in a boring person, he risks ceasing to be boring for me. If I start - let it shake me with indignation - to pray for the enemy, I can even for a split second look at him from some other perspective. And it's worth noting, this is not just a dumb "law" or following external rules... Not at all, the decision to love is also born inside, in the heart.

There, in the heart, a lot of rubbish is born: if I try to be “sincere” and “myself” at every moment, I can become proud, envious, petty. I would sometimes leave my wife, and sometimes I would return to her. And sometimes I want to beat or kill some person, especially from those close to me.

An honest attitude to your emotions is necessary: ​​it allows you to see your inner darkness and not live in self-deception. Moreover, it helps to notice that we love our "loved ones" only sometimes - emotions are wave-like and changeable. It remains to love them "badly" - but we see that there is room to grow.

Something else

It takes strong motivation to learn anything. Even if I want to master Spanish or learn to play the guitar - at first I will need to regularly do not the most interesting things... Such efforts are rewarded, but not immediately. Our culture of instant decisions - “take whatever you want right now: fast and cheap” - breeds impatient people who are not ready to wait. I can't love - don't worry, find more suitable people or take a training "Learn perfect love in two weekends." But, alas, learning to love is “long and expensive”.

This takes years of life, and it often does not bring spiritual reward, but only makes life more uncomfortable. When you “love badly,” it looks ridiculous and often provokes ridicule and accusations of insincerity. One-sided openness makes a person more vulnerable and vulnerable. It is consent to endure pain and lead company with unpleasant people... Indeed, why do we need this? In order not to die before death: because the alternative - the hell of dislike - is even worse.

To act persistently and patiently, being aware of your emotions, is enough for beginners who are ready to “love badly”. But I deliberately did not say anything about one more thing - because here I tried to stay closer to the ground, to psychology, to something that can be touched. And this thing is extremely important. To put it briefly: the better the vertical relationship (with God), the more correct the horizontal one (with people), and there is no getting away from this law. Not at home, not among friends, not even when you just ride the subway.

Some of us find it difficult to have respect for other people, let alone love. This is because we carry with us childhood resentments and fears, even when we become adults. However, according to the law of action and reaction, the more we feel resentment, the more often we have to face it.

When we try to hide our hostility or fear behind morality or religious norms, we are only deceiving ourselves.

Hostility and latent resentment will still manifest themselves in one of three ways:

1. Open hostility and irritation.

Some are so hostile that they constantly argue wherever they go - at home, at work, or on a visit. They often clash, even if they try to hide hostility at first.

2. Provfiery love and kindness.

A common case of latent resentment. Social boundaries force us to be reserved and hide our feelings. By hiding sincerity and suppressing hostility, a person turns into an actor.

Showy courtesy and meekness hides the true essence of a person, full of bitterness, disappointment and hatred. Among other things, this behavior is always reflected in children who grow up to be either sickly and lethargic, or overly hyperactive.

3. Physical disorder or malaise.

Human consciousness is capable of working in both directions. There are many known cases when without help drugs, but only by exceptional suggestion, a person achieved complete recovery from serious diseases, even such as ulcers, cancer, heart and other diseases. but unspoken grievances and suppressed feelings lead to the opposite - the emergence of chronic diseases.

A seemingly prosperous person may become enraged and utterly frenzied in alcoholic intoxication, after being fired or rejected courtship. Most often, close people have to suffer from such aggression.

How to learn to love people?

The simplest and most correct answer to the question "how to learn to love?" is to stop waiting for someone to love you and start loving yourself. If you can't love, then you can begin to cultivate virtuous qualities: to show respect, understanding, patience and sensitivity to others. This is where love begins.

No matter how strong and just our grievances are, we must stop them and eliminate them, for our own good. The method of logical reasoning helps a lot. You can convince yourself that the person we are offended with, a spouse or a boss, is kind to us, and his behavior is a consequence of his personal attitudes and our exorbitant expectations. Reflecting in this way can help you calm down and feel more peaceful.

The more a person practices a kind and understanding attitude towards others, the more confidence he acquires in front of any life situations, and the more benevolent attitude he receives in response from others. Tell yourself more often: "Everyone wants to cooperate with me." And you will get the long-awaited interaction, communication and understanding.

You don't need to isolate yourself from others

Let's say you enjoy being lonely, and you explain this by the fact that you are indifferent to others. However, this is most likely due to the fact that as a child you were rejected or ridiculed by your friends. Or because your brother or sister was your parents' favorite instead. But the truth is, no one can take your place. Everyone can only take their place. You need to stop being afraid of people and get rid of this fear.

The more often you are alone, the more reasons for this find - bad weather, the party where you are invited is boring, the customers you are waiting for are not interesting. In fact, this is fear, which over time can turn into a strong neurosis. This is what prevents sellers from getting orders, old maids from getting married, and employees from getting offers.

Break the belief that you should be lonely. Start going out and chatting with other people. Tune in to the fact that others will accept you with pleasure. Think about how much new happiness you can experience.

At first, meeting new people will not be very comfortable and this is quite natural, because you have already lost the habit of it. But soon the shy feeling will be complete natural state, with his characteristic ease.

Once you stop being isolated in your loneliness, you can achieve success in your personal, professional and social spheres. Your life will change for the better, you will see that there are many outgoing and friendly people around. Be genuinely interested in people, and you will be surprised how much you can win over people.

Show firmness

Some people find it difficult to say no. They are afraid that by refusing a request or showing an objection, they will lose the favor of the other person. As a result, they may be wasting time, instead of wasting it, traveling on a trip they cannot afford, or taking unnecessary advice.

If the advice you have been given does not seem useful to you, thank for it and say that you yourself know what is best for you. Don't be impolite, but be firm. Let others see that you value their good intentions, but also make it clear that you have a right to be yourself.

The easiest way to show your kind disposition towards people is by the following simple rules behavior: don't be late, be reliable, keep given word, be tactful and caring, and most importantly - be sincere with others.

This question is often asked by people who become objects. non-reciprocal love... Many psychologists insist that strong relationships begin with friendship, while a romance based only on mutual passion does not last. So why not try to fall in love with someone who loves you, even if he only arouses friendly sympathy?

Is the game worth the candle

In books and films, there are not only stories about how people also often become the basis for the plot, and such works often have a happy ending. Similar situations are quite common in life. Should a person who has become the object of non-reciprocal love try to evoke feelings for the claimant for his heart?

Why not, if a person dreams of starting a family, he understands that the one who is seeking his attention suits him, causes disposition. Friendly sympathy can always be reborn into something more, if you contribute to this correctly. How to do this is described below.

What if the society of someone who is in love is unpleasant for a person, causes only irritation and anxiety? In this case, you should hardly force yourself to spend time with him, trying to fall in love. The result of such efforts with most likely turns out to be zero.

Where to begin

How to love a person who loves you? First, you need to finally get rid of relationships that are already in the past. It is especially important to pay attention to this issue if the separation happened recently. You can not count on a positive outcome of the case if a person still has feelings for his former lover. Of course, it is difficult to get rid of the emotions associated with a previous relationship, but the process can always be accelerated.

So before you try to love good man, you need to force yourself to forget about those with whom the relationship did not work out. To do this, you need to find yourself as much as possible interesting activities that will not leave time for sad thoughts and memories. Attendance at social events is encouraged to help you unwind. You can also come up with an exciting hobby, enroll in courses that promote personal growth, etc.

If you need to love a person

Let's say that feelings for a former lover no longer poison life, do not interfere with the beginning of a new relationship. How to fall in love with a person for whom the object feels only sympathy? It is worth starting work on this by compiling a list of its merits. It is possible that the applicant has many positive qualities that make it worthy of attention... One can note his intelligence, dedication, kindness, sense of humor, and so on. The longer the list of merits is, the better.

It's great if a person likes the appearance of someone who confesses his love to him. In this case, you should definitely place the photo of the chosen one in a conspicuous place in order to admire him as often as possible.

Avoid criticism

If you need to love a person, preferably as much as possible less attention pay attention to its shortcomings. All people from time to time commit wrong actions, speak the wrong words. It is necessary to be more tolerant of the mistakes that a potential lover makes, to concentrate on his positive rather than negative traits.

At this stage, conflicts and quarrels are the most dangerous for the emerging relationship. You should not provoke them with criticism, even if some character traits of the candidate cause irritation or rejection. Of course, this does not apply to shortcomings with which a person will never be able to come to terms. In this case, it is worth considering whether it is advisable at all to try to evoke feelings in yourself.

Spending time together

If a girl wants to love young man, she needs to spend more time in his company. It is unlikely that you will be able to evoke feelings for a stranger, so it is worth trying to get to know the candidate better. Great if you can find common interests, start joint hobby... Such a pastime will certainly lead to rapprochement, there will be more topics for conversation that are of interest to everyone. It is also useful to attend social events together, watch films, performances, and so on.

Perhaps it is worth deciding on a joint vacation, especially if people have known each other for a long time. Seeing a lover outside the usual circumstances, you can look at him in a new way, experience an interest that was not there before. Of course, a joint vacation in romantic setting that evokes the right emotions.

Signs of attention

An important point is the manifestation of attention to the chosen one. It is necessary to provide the applicant with support in difficult life situations, be interested in his problems and concerns, show sympathy. Indifference is not conducive to the occurrence mutual feeling... Also, one cannot ignore the opinion that he adheres to on a particular issue. It is known that the more moral strength is invested in a person, the closer and more expensive he becomes.

Is it possible to love a person, not paying attention to the good that he does for the object of his love? Gifts, compliments, expressions of concern - all of these need to be celebrated. Cultivating a sense of gratitude in yourself by speaking about it out loud makes it easier to get closer.

Of course, while showing attention to a potential partner, it is important not to forget and share with him your own experiences, thoughts, feelings. Secrecy does not promote rapprochement, nor does the desire to solve all their problems on their own.

Self-deception

If you sincerely want to love the one who is seeking attention, you can try to convince yourself that this has already happened. For this, it is useful to behave as lovers do, to be together more often, to strive for spiritual closeness going on dates.

It is also helpful to tell the world about your feelings, even if they only exist in the imagination of the narrator. Let no one doubt that he sees a couple in love in front of him. The more people find out about the alleged romance, the better. Trying to convince others (friends, acquaintances, relatives) of your love, you can at one fine moment realize that it really has arisen.

Eyes to eyes

Is it possible to fall in love with a person over time? To do this, psychologists advise more often to look into the eyes of a potential lover. The eyes of a lover shine with happiness and joy, tell about his readiness to do crazy things for the sake of the object of his passion. Such feelings are contagious, and it is easy for people to feel sympathy for someone who is in love with them. Following a friendly disposition, love can also come.

Meet the parents

What else can you do to love a young man? This is facilitated by communication with those for whom he is best. First of all, these are parents potential partner, therefore, you should not avoid communicating with them, flatly refuse to meet. In addition, it will help you better know the candidate for the role of the second half.

Of course, it is also useful to communicate with friends and friends of a potential chosen one, who are also able to tell about his best qualities, help him demonstrate them.

Honesty is important

The above says that it is necessary to refrain from criticism, try not to provoke quarrels. However, this does not mean that you need to be silent about everything that does not suit you in a relationship, especially when it comes to really important points that can destroy them. Straight Talk helps to eliminate many problems if it is conducted in a calm and benevolent tone. For example, you should not hide your preferences in bed from your partner, and also forget to be interested in his habits and desires.

The benefits of parting

The above describes how to love a person if such a desire arises. However, one should not forget that a measure is needed in everything. Anyone who literally forces themselves to spend a lot of time in the company of a potential partner can easily begin to feel tired and irritated. If dating starts to seem like an unpleasant duty, you should definitely pause, take a break from communication, and try to sort out your own feelings.

It is possible that separation will help you understand how much important role a man in love plays in the life of the object of his attention. Perhaps a simple interest has already managed to transform into more serious feeling... If the desire to meet does not arise for a long time, you should not force yourself to renew the date. There is a high probability that nothing good will come of it.

How to correctly evaluate the result

So, the answer to the question of how to love a person is obvious. However, how can you understand whether you have succeeded in achieving your goal? This is not always easy, since love is a feeling that can manifest itself in different ways.

If doubts remain, you need to listen to your feelings, being close to a potential second half. It is great if a person who until recently considered himself an object feels comfort, lightness, joy. Also, a hint of an incipient feeling can be the melancholy that appears during a long separation from a partner.

What if such emotions do not arise, although enough time has passed? This may indicate that the person in love is still the hero of someone else's novel. Therefore, it is better to tactfully part with him, trying not to hurt his feelings, and then start looking real second half, which is sure to be found.

Our life is unthinkable without people. She is certainly happier if we love them. About, how to love people, will be discussed in this article.

How to love people

It is not very easy to find in yourself love for a stranger. You have to spend a lot on this mental strength... After all, how difficult it is to fall in love with people with sad and disgruntled faces on the street, breathing fumes in transport, defiantly behaving adolescents.

However, the world is diverse and the people in it are different. And it is imperative to love them, even if they do not meet our criteria. All people are God's creatures, and God loves everyone equally.

To love people, you need to learn how to manage the feelings and emotions of anger, contempt, disgust, bitterness, condemnation. This is a lot of work on yourself - the discipline of feelings and thoughts. No matter what people surround us, we should not turn away from them, distance ourselves or move away.

The parable of love for man

A man came to the great Teacher andsaid: “I want to love God, but I don’t know how to do it. Tell me! "

The teacher answered him: "First, tell me who you loved before and who you love now."

“But I am not interested in worldly affairs and worldly life.I'm not interested in love.I want to come to God "- answered the man.

The teacher continued: "And yet, think, have you ever loved at least one person in your life, at least one woman, at least one child - at least someone?"

“I’m not just layman, I am a man of religion, I do not love anyone. Show me the way by which I can come to God, ”the man replied.

Master looked at the man sadly and then said, “I cannot show you the way. You must love someone first. This will be your first step towards God. You ask about the last step, but you yourself did not take the first! Go and love someone first! "

Having fallen in love with people, we will love God in them.

1. See people as God's creatures, they have a piece of God in them. Each person is a unique world, it is an individuality.
2. Find the most best qualities, mark them best deeds, rate their abilities and talents.
3. Try to understand people, the motives of their actions and deeds. Imagine how you would act in a given situation. Recognize their opinion, the right to choose actions.
4. Chat with by different people... Do not limit your social circle, but on the contrary, expand it. Communication will enrich you, bring you closer to people, contribute to the formation of your love for them.
5. See people as little children. Children are loved just like that, because they are. They are loved like small miracle... May every person be a miracle for you.
6. Feel your oneness with all people. In fact, on the subtle plane, we are all one. We are one energy. Like it or not, we are one with everyone: with celebrities and homeless people.
7. When you are among people, learn to radiate love in their direction. Imagine that a loving space emanates from you and takes over the people around you. Repeat mentally "I love you!"
8. Walking down the street, being at work - anywhere and at any time, repeat in your thoughts “I love people!”, “I love people, and people love me!”. Thus, you will accustom yourself to the idea that you love people, and in fact you will begin to love. And send your message to the Universe that you are on the path of love for people.
9. It is difficult, of course, to fall in love with a brawler, a bum, a thief, a murderer. In this case, the main thing is not to hate, not condemn, not despise. It is better to be tolerant and sympathetic because such a person is not spiritually developed.
10. Treat people like teachers. Each of them is your mirror. Seeing the shortcomings or advantages of others, you have the same in yourself.

What prevents you from falling in love with people

• Often resentment prevents people from falling in love... Try to avoid them and forgive people.
• Pride and excellence- one of the main enemies of love for people. Moderate these qualities, if they are inherent in you. Pride is a sin. And love people.
• The enemies of love for people are indifference and indifference... Show interest in people and do them good.

Please watch this video.

Knowing how to love people and how important it is for your soul, you can treat people differently and benefit yourself and other people.