Bad parents? They don't like me. At the same time, of course, they will complain about their hard life, which is really not easy. And do nothing to change it. And he did not realize that it was not the brain and consciousness, not smart thoughts and

Bad relationship with parents. What to do, how to live? A story from life.

How strange. I have such bad thoughts. Every morning, I wake up thinking that my parents don't like me at all. Anyone who is reading this article now, for sure, laughs and does not believe in what is written. Maybe for someone, my problem is distant and incomprehensible. I'm happy for people.

Why don't my parents love and understand me?Bad parents?

Parents should love their children. This is inherent in nature itself. They even say that children (both the youngest and the older) are loved equally. Why am I finding myself eldest daughter don't feel any love from your parents? Maybe they, somehow, secretly manifest it? Do not know. Or, in order to understand parental love, you need to become a mother yourself? Well, I have not been against becoming it for a long time. Maybe a coincidence, but my parents "stopped loving" me when my younger sister was born. Believe me, this is not jealousy! I was completely ready for my sister, mom and dad, to give all their care and all their attention.

They don't love me, my parents don't understand .
- Why did this go on for years? And I, somehow, stayed on the sidelines. Mom did not call and did not ask where I was, when I was not at home for a long time and late. She was not at all interested in what was happening in my life, what events happened. And dad didn't talk to me at all. How painful, how insulting. I thought they were offended at me for something, but my opinion was not confirmed. And then I got even more confused. There is, in fact, nothing to be offended at me for. In addition, they have not heard from me, for a fairly long period of time, not a single rude word. It was like that before. So it is now. Both the past and the present are similar. But, after all, it makes it easier for me. Bad parents? - You need to do something, and not notice similar things and little things. Observation alone is of little use. We must act! I do whatever they ask for them. I find time to fulfill all the requests that excite them. And what, it’s all the same. Parents shout at me on any wire and for no reason, while to each other and to younger sister The "appeal" soap and is friendly. What am I, I wonder, worse? Maybe the fact that I hardly appear at home. I don’t want to appear where I’m not welcome. I have to look for joy in the eyes of girlfriends and friends when I go to visit them. There in society dear girlfriends, I forget, for a while, about the situation at my house. There is no urge to return home. But I do this because my friends have families, their own problems. I would not like to burden someone with myself.

You can get used to everything. And even - to parental dislike. But, the worst thing in all this is that her (my parents' dislike for me) is noticed by my girlfriends (acquaintances). And I am ashamed, somehow. I don’t know where to go. At least fall through the ground, honestly. They look, all this, with surprised eyes. And I am not surprised at anything already. Bad parents? One more nuance. When we moved to new apartment, bought furniture in all rooms, excluding mine. It seems that my room is an inconspicuous ghost. No, well, the room is not completely unfurnished. It's just that the furniture in my room is very old. There is still no chandelier, no curtains, no firanochok. The last is the worst. Not only is it inconvenient to invite someone to visit, but also the sun, which shines through the window, often interferes.

What to do, how to live?My parents do not like me, do not understand me.
Well, my mother doesn't love me, my father doesn't love me. I try, then, to come to terms. I try to get used to it. I, from the very early childhood, I live like this. I reassure myself that supporters, girlfriends, friends, relatives and a loved one love me. But none of them can and cannot replace my parents. They are dearer than all other people, no matter what they are, no matter how they treat me. I'm not complaining. I am telling real story about how it happens. I would very much like it to be just my story, which will stay with me, never be repeated by anyone. I would not wish such a repetition, even my worst enemy. I have no enemies. But this is how I orient myself towards the future. Mom and Dad are healthy and happy. This is the main thing. Let everything be fine with them, and I will live and rejoice, knowing about it. In my heart, I believe that they love me, if only because I am their own daughter. From such thoughts, I feel a little warmer. I don't want my close relatives to get sick or feel unhappy. They deserve all the best, I am confident in my words. I am glad that my sister is not deprived parental feelings... Each person is lucky in their own way. I am lucky that I have my girlfriends, supporters, friends and a job that I love very much. And such people who are included in the "lists" I have listed, I also love. I love everybody. I am sure: when I become a mother, I will love my children equally. I will give them so much love and care that they will become happy in the world. Children are an unearthly joy. I want to feel it. I know how to appreciate what life has given us. Perhaps this skill saves me from despondency and a constant gloomy mood. Maybe the fact that, with all my strength, I try not to bother about such a "misfortune" also saves me. And my attempts, I dare to admit, have never been defeated, but amazed others. Many of my acquaintances are very surprised at how I stand it all. I set myself up to be strong and not give vent to weakness. How I want to be, morally, weak, to be protected and pitied. But I won't! There is one weakness. I cry at night.

Not every night, but I cry. It is good that the veil of the night hides the sight of my tears on the sleeping pillow. I don’t want anyone to see a waterfall flowing from the sources of my soul. Let the night swallow him. I often cannot sleep. - Think. And from this, time slows down its entire course. It turns out that, with my reflections, I whip up his entire schedule. I'm not a good one. But time can forgive me. I also forgave him when it let me down, pretty much. We must try to live separately from our parents. It seems to me that something, in this case, should definitely change. In which direction and how - it does not matter. It is important that everything gets off the ground. After all, movement is life. It is to her that I need to return.

Hi, my name is Rina. I am 16 years old. I live with my mother and grandfather. Lately I don’t recognize my mother, she just began to hate me and survive ... for everything that I didn’t said she was indignant, trying to belittle me and offend ... either I am "Lazy pig", then I "do nothing" and the rest is even worse that I don’t want to write ... Yesterday we agreed to go to one lake, today I reminded her she says we’ll go to another, I explain to her that I’m embarrassed to appear there because I know a lot there and I’m tears, ashamed of herself ... and she starts yelling that I didn’t promise you anything and we’ll go here and not there, these are your whims, that would be two hundred of me ... you like to make me angry ... well, Lord, what am I said, for the first time in the whole summer I wanted to go somewhere with the whole family, but she did so ... all the more, she herself said, why are you sitting at home, go crush the fat, look what I have become ... I was always cheerful and did a lot of things (dancing, music, drawing), but everything is simple for me nervous collapse... I can't do this ... I don't have a single friend, not a friend ... I have no one to communicate with (except for the Internet), I gained 15 kg for half a year (and for me it's scary because I always had a gorgeous figure and everyone just "died" from me) I never went out into the street all summer, not because I don't want to, but because I can't. And I can’t leave home from her either, because there’s no one ... I really love my owl mother, so I don’t want to give her pain and discomfort, so thoughts of suicide began to slip through my mind (which is strange for me. me developed great feeling guilt from childhood, little emotionality and many other factors that I try to hide from others. Mom works for me as a dog handler. From 3-4 years old, my father does not live with us. All I understand is that it's hard for her, but ... I'm just serious to tears ... Yes, I know .. you write that, of course, my mother will love me ... that we need to cope with this situation, but I don’t know how ... And yes ... he always says that I want her to die .. they say that I’m going to die, you’ll understand ..... Not much more and that’s all ... the end ... even though I’m a man with a sense of guilt and many others, but I fulfill my goals to the end ...

Psychologists' Answers

Hello Rina. You are 16 years old. This age is not easy, changes are taking place in your body. Hormones affect mood and overall emotional condition... In addition, you disconnected yourself from reality, went to the Internet. There are no friends, you rarely go out on the street. Save yourself on your own. Go out for a walk hiking good for the health . And mom, she feels anxiety for you. And from the fact that she does not understand what to do, what to say to you, so as not to harm, she, out of her fear, only gets angry and yells at you. Thinks that this way, you will become more active and cheerful. What to do?

Do the exercise. It's called the Empty Chair Technique. 1. Choose a time when you are alone at home so that you are not disturbed or distracted. Place two chairs, one for yourself and one for your mom. When placing them, pay attention to how far you want to put the chair for mom. And how you want to put it. Sideways, back to you, facing ... This will just show you how you are in relation to each other. For example, if your chair or hers has a back ... think about it, is it comfortable for you to talk to each other like that?

2. Take a voice recorder (available in any cell phone, or download a program for voice recording on the Internet). Start recording. Sit in your chair and tell your mom everything in ordinary life difficult to do. Imagine that she is sitting on the second chair and listening to you. Talk a lot about how you feel, about how much you hurt and hurt. That it is hard for you to live with guilt from her words about death. Ask her any question. And sit on Mom's chair.

3. Sit on Mom's chair. Imagine that this is her. Dress up her role. Imagine how your mother is dressed, that she can think that she loves what is happening to her in her life. And then start talking about yourself, from her role. Name, profession ... how she would talk about herself.

Here is very important point... When you feel that you have managed to enter the role of a mother, to feel like her, turn on the recording of your words made from your chair. And accordingly, you will hear that question. Listen to your daughter's speech while sitting in your mom's chair. And then, turn on the recorder for recording and from the role of a mother answer the daughter's question (your own question). Feel what's in your soul. what feelings fill you (like a mother). Talk about feelings, you want to cry? -Cry ... and say from her role everything that first comes to mind ..

4. Sit in your daughter's chair, in your chair and listen to the recording of the words from the role of mom.

Answer her. Talk about the feelings that arise in your soul.

5. Talk to your mom as you move from chair to chair until you feel better. Until you feel the state, the feeling that there is nothing more to say. Everything has already been said and cried out.

You should feel better, calmer. All the emotional tension in the relationship with mom will subside.

After finishing the conversation, remove the chairs and take off the role of mom from yourself. Just say "I'm not mom, I'm Rina" and spin around as if taking off your role (like if you were taking off your outerwear)

After you have done this exercise, observe your mother, her behavior. Live with these new sensations.

Usually, magic happens. Mom (not knowing about the fact that you spoke to her and were in her role) will begin to behave differently, and you will no longer want to swear, take offense. You will want to talk to her. Talk to her the next day, not before. Good luck to you. Best regards, Evgeniya. (practical psychologist, psychodramatist, coach, author of the project "How to build relationships" http://www.family-light.ru/)

Good answer 7 Bad answer 1

Parents should love, nurture and care for their children. They should help children develop and become independent people... Unfortunately, some parents treat their children quite poorly, taking away their warmth and care, or even abandoning them altogether. It hurts to feel that your parents don't like you, and this pain can be not only emotional but also physical. The best way dealing with it - accepting the fact that you cannot change other people, just focus on yourself.

Steps

Think about ways to solve this problem

Talk to good friend or with a family member. Sometimes a person gets better when they just talk to someone about their problem. Talk to a family member or friend about what's going on in your family.

• For example, you might try talking to a close friend about how your parents are doing and how you feel. Find someone you feel good and comfortable with, who will not turn away from you. Tell this person what you would say to your parents.
• Try not to become emotionally dependent on this person, just talk to them when you need to speak up. If you suddenly find yourself calling him more than once, be careful not to become addicted to this person. If you feel that you are becoming more and more dependent on other people, talk to a school counselor.

1. Find yourself a mentor. A mentor will help you make important decisions in your life, teach you what your parents cannot (or do not want) to teach you. You can find a mentor to help you master school disciplines, will help you understand difficult situations or excel at work. Consider if there is a reliable, responsible adult in your life who could be your mentor. For example, could it be a coach, teacher, boss?

   • If your boss or sports coach offers to help you, think again if that person can be your mentor. In fact, you can ask someone for help yourself. Say, “I am delighted with what you have achieved! I hope to someday also succeed in life and reach your level. But I don't know where to start. Could you teach me? "
   • Try not to become too dependent on your mentor. Keep in mind that a mentor will still not be able to replace your parents, so you should not expect parental care from this person. A mentor is someone who can help you achieve your goals in school, work, or some other area of ​​your life.

2. Talk to a therapist or school psychologist. It is not so easy to come to terms with the behavior of your parents, therefore, it is quite possible that you will need to see a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will help you understand yourself and develop protective mechanisms with the help of which you will feel much better.

   • If your school has a counselor, be sure to ask if you can make an appointment to discuss the matter. If you are confused or unsure how to start this conversation, talk to a trusted instructor first.
   • Ask your parents if you can see a therapist. Say, “Lately I have faced (faced) with unpleasant situation, I need to talk to a specialist about this. Please help me find a good psychotherapist. "
   • Be aware that if your parents bully you, your school counselor or psychotherapist will be required to report it.

3. Resist the temptation to compare how your parents feel about you and your sisters / brothers. If you feel like your parents are treating your brother better than they are for you, that doesn't necessarily mean that they love some of you more. There is most likely a reason why this period time they are more attentive to your brother. This is most often an intuitive behavior, so your parents may not even realize that they are treating you differently.

   Try not to take it personally. Sometimes it can be difficult to accept criticism and curses addressed to you from loved ones who should love you, even if you perfectly understand that they are not telling the truth. Remember that your parents' words and behavior are more about them than about you.

   • The next time one of your parents says or does something bad to you, tell yourself: “I good man, I value myself. My parents are just trying to cope with their problems, so they do / say that. "

4. Be kind to yourself. Some children who experience parental abuse may feel bad about themselves, such as trying to hurt themselves, using alcohol and drugs, or failing in school. Remember that none of this will improve your condition. Instead of succumbing to this temptation, start caring for yourself and loving yourself, for example:

   • Exercise several days a week.
   • Do not smoke or use alcohol or drugs.

5. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. People who grow up in an unfavorable environment tend to have negative thoughts about themselves, which can lower their self-esteem. To learn to think positively about yourself and your life, try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

   • For example, if you constantly repeat to yourself something that your parents told you (for example: “you are stupid if you cannot understand the division of numbers”), try to replace this thought (say: “yes, long division is difficult task for me, but I can learn it if I try ").

6. Write yourself a cheat sheet of positive thoughts. This will help you immediately spot negative thoughts that are lowering your self-esteem and replace them with positive thoughts. So, first, draw a table with four columns.

   • In the first column write a list negative thoughts... For example, it might include thoughts such as “I don’t know how to make decisions” or “I am not very smart”.
   • In the second column, write down why you think this is all true. Are your parents pushing you to think that way, or do you feel that way?
   • In the third column, write about what it costs you. negative belief(what emotions and problems in personal life). Perhaps you are depressed, withdrawn, afraid to try new things and fail, afraid to trust people and get close to them, and so on. Keep the list short, but be specific about what you are missing out on, allowing yourself to believe these statements are true.
   • In the last column, rewrite this thought so that it becomes positive. For example, you can change the statement about your intelligence by writing: “I am smart and capable person, I have achieved a lot thanks to my knowledge "

7. Get out of the house more often. Start an interesting and complete good impressions living outside your home to feel like happy man even if in family life not everything is so smooth with you. Think about how you could contribute in some way to social life... If you have an active social life your self-esteem and self-confidence will improve much faster as you focus on happiness and development.

   • Volunteer with an organization in your area. Find a job that you enjoy or join a hobby club or sports section.

   Monitor your health

   1. Be sure to report if your parents are physically or sexually abusing you. If your parents bully you, seek help immediately. Talk to your teacher, doctor, school psychologist or the police or guardianship authorities about this. The longer you are abused, the more difficult it will be for you to recover your psyche later. Don't let people (even those close to you) abuse you and use physical strength... Try to get away from them as soon as possible.

      If possible, break off relations with those who offend you. If you can end your relationship with abusive parents, do so. Sure, it can be difficult to stop hanging out with someone you cared about, especially a loved one, but your main job is to take care of yourself. Don't blame yourself for having to end your relationship with your parent (s) if you feel this is the best way out.

      Resist the temptation to distance yourself from peers and other adults. You may think you can avoid the pain people can cause by simply breaking up with them, but remember that people need communication to be successful. Children who grow up without parental love or the concerns of one of the adults, are less likely to achieve success in life, less often they are happy, more often than others they get sick. Talk to friends and family more often, spend as much time with them as possible, and be open and friendly with new acquaintances and trustworthy adults.

   2. Learn to be independent. If your parents cannot cope with your upbringing and cannot teach you to be independent after graduation high school, ask another trusted adult to prepare you for the "real world."

      • Learn to budget, use the washing machine, turn on the water heater in your apartment.
      • Estimate your costs for independent life and think about what you need to get started. Find a job and save money to pay a deposit on your own apartment and essential furniture.
      • Do not abandon your studies despite family problems so that you have the opportunity to go to college. Ask school psychologist help you find a college with an opportunity to study at a budget location.

   Consider if your parents are treating you badly.

   1. Observe how your parents react to your successes and achievements. One of the signs bad attitude parents to you is the fact that they do not recognize your achievements in different areas. This means that either your parents refuse to understand that you were able to achieve something, or they simply do not consider your success significant. Some parents may even make fun of your accomplishments.

      • For example, if you managed to get good mark on the exam, your parents should congratulate and praise you. Parents who treat you badly will ignore your message, change the subject and take pleasure in making you feel stupid, they may just say, “So what? It's just a test. "

   2. Think about the methods your parents use to control you. It's okay for your parents to just want to guide you, but if your parents are in control of your behavior, it goes overboard. For example, their control may be about making small decisions, or it may go as far as controlling which school or college you go to. If you feel that your parents control your decisions and your behavior too much, then they are treating you badly.

      • For example, parents who trust you to make decisions for yourself may start asking questions about which college you want to go to and why. Parents who are trying to control your behavior and all your decisions will tell you which college you should go to.

   3. Note the absence emotional connection between you. Parents with children great relationship, maintain an emotional connection, eye contact, they smile at each other and hug each other. If your parents treat you badly, they will not behave as described above.

      • For example, if parents maintain an emotional connection with their child, they will support him when he is upset. If the parent and child do not have an emotional connection, the parent is more likely to yell at the child or ignore him when he cries.

   4. Consider if there are boundaries in communication between you and your parents. Boundaries are very important in the relationship between a child and a parent. If you have reasonable communication boundaries, you will not feel like you and your parents are living the same life.

      • For example, parents should speak to you words of encouragement that will help you calm down and raise your self-esteem. But you will definitely feel bad if your parents tell you: "You are worthless!", "I hate being in the same room with you!"
      • Some parents today will be kind and good to you, and tomorrow they will suddenly become irritable and angry. But keep in mind that this is all just verbal abuse unless your parents physically harm you.

   5. Learn to recognize narcissistic behavior. Parents who focus only on themselves do not notice their children, so they cannot treat them responsibly. If your parents consistently ignore you, or only notice you when you do something they can brag about to their friends, this is definitely a sign of narcissistic behavior.

      • For example, parents should be supportive of your interests. However, narcissistic parents will only support your interests if they benefit them in some way. For example, if they have the opportunity to brag to their friends that their child is receiving a scholarship, although, in fact, they did not even ask about your academic success and never praised you.
      • Some parents may have a personality disorder. A person with a personality disorder refuses to take responsibility, is subject to constant self-justification, he has constant feeling that he is always right, he is not capable of deep emotions. A parent with a personality disorder may view their child as a burden or obstacle to personal goals. Typically, these parents control their children by manipulating their emotions. In addition, people with personality disorders often abuse their children and may even jeopardize their personal well-being.

   6. Think about whether you have ever played the role of a parent? Some parents are still too young, or they have some other problem (for example, drug addiction), which makes it difficult for them to fulfill their duties and be good parents for his child, because of this, the child often takes on parenting responsibilities... Consider if you have had to take on parenting responsibilities because your parents were unable (or unwilling to) take care of you or your siblings. For example, these responsibilities may include cooking, cleaning, caring for other children.

      • Often times, parents will assign you cooking and cleaning the house in order to teach you responsibility. But if your parents treat you badly, they will entrust you with a whole bunch of tasks so as not to carry out their duties on their own. For example, a parent who does not want to cook or clean himself may constantly shy away from these responsibilities, shifting them onto one of his children and entrusting him with doing everything at once: both cooking and cleaning.

When parents are holding their baby in their arms, it does not occur to them that in the future they may have friction or misunderstandings with the child. How cute he is and there is no limit to love for him. And what changes over the years?

All kinds of relationships can work out. Most often, it can boil down to a number of main reasons - the irresistible desire of the father and mother to keep everything under control, or a childish resentment that he holds deep inside. Often, adult children begin not to communicate at all. Sometimes a parent with the best intentions, not realizing that the child has grown up for a long time, continue to educate him, but, unfortunately, it is already too late to do this. And also the child, in turn, misunderstands this manifestation of love. Over time already strained relationship grow into hatred for each other.

What are the explanations for this relationship? Of course, this may surprise, but still love. It is the habit of parents to treat children like little ones. They simply do not want their children to grow up, but to remain the same. At the same time, the requirements are overestimated, thereby going too far, so that grown-up children cannot fulfill them. So, why then parents hate their grown children? The answer is psychologically explained.

Parents often make mistakes:

• over-pressuring and forcing you to learn;
• do not allow communication with friends;
• buying clothes that are not to your liking;
• communicate as if not with adults;
• stupid and vulgar to speak out to children.

The consequences may not be positive. As a result - a ready-made mentally retarded person in society, and for mom and dad - a lifelong toy.

1. When is born unwanted child(not ready for motherhood).
2. Unfavorable relations with her husband (the mother breaks down on the weaker one - on the child, probably considering the child to be guilty in the existing relationship).
3. Mother herself was a victim similar relationships on the part of one's own mother (a stereotype of behavior is laid down).
4. Deliberately undermine self-confidence in children. When their child makes progress, they do not rejoice in them, but on the contrary want him to be unsuccessful and unhappy, then he will need parents. By such behavior, they develop in the child uncertainty in the future, indecision in adulthood.

Advice to parents: change your attitude towards adult children. They have grown up enough (it is too late to educate them). Your task is simply to maintain them, and not to make your copy of them.

Advice for adult children: Continue living your life. Confidently solve your problems (this is how your parents will see that you are already independent). If circumstances permit, live separately.

Sometimes a child, small or teenager, and sometimes an adult, has a problem in relations with parents. And then it seems that parents do not like their children, and in some situations even hate them. Is it really so? And why does it feel like that?

Not surprisingly, the desire of children to get rid of intrusiveness, providing parents with adolescence life, and even as adults, we are less and less willing to listen to the advice of the older generation. Having risen to our feet, we want to live independently, make decisions, do what we want, and not someone else. This is one of the reasons children dislike their parents.

But there is also the opposite situation, when the parents do not love the child. At least the child has such an impression. Happens in life different situations... It so happens that parents really hate their offspring and scoff at him in every possible way: beat, humiliate, exploit. This often happens in dysfunctional families where parents are social nonadapters who have not been able to realize themselves for one reason or another. This situation is dire and almost 100% guarantees that a child will never be able to develop into a happy adult who can live a joyful life.

This article will focus on something else. When parents and children do not find common language and as a result, both some and others have the impression of a complete misunderstanding of each other. Such tension can lead to quarrels, stress, intense passions, and even a complete cessation of all contact. Often during such a period we bring ourselves and our loved ones great pain and discord in one of the most valuable things in a person's life - in the family.

Let's outline the rules - what can be called parental hatred of children?

Sometimes you have to hear the claims of children to their parents:

My parents hate me, they don’t give pocket money / don’t buy a fancy mobile, and so on ...

Of course, parents have responsibilities in relation to children - this is to ensure their life, but it is impossible to demand more from parents than they can give. If parents do not give money as much as they want, or do not buy what they want, this does not mean at all that they hate the child. If they support the child's life, thank you for this. The deprivation of entertainment and other things is not hatred, but normal evidence.

So get ready right away - in this article there will be no stories about which bad parents who did not buy best phone or tablet. It's about something else, about deep psychological problems, which can develop between parents and children due to the difference in their psychology.

Scenario 1: Parents Demanding Speed ​​and Benefit in Everything

It cannot be said that skin parents do not like their anal child. They simply do not understand him and, without wanting to, can, with their constant haste, lead the anal child into a stupor, which can make him slow for the rest of his life, difficult to adapt the situation.

Scenario 2. Parents demanding obedience and quality

Parents with an anal vector are completely different from those of a skin. They are calm and confident, never rushing anywhere. Most of all they value cleanliness in the house, family traditions, excellent study. The greatest value for them is the book and the knowledge that can be obtained from there. You can often see how the anal mother forces her children to study their lessons hard, sit in one place for hours and repeat the same material until they are completely absorbed. Anal fathers love fishing, relaxing with friends and are very fond of their sons, whom they strive to accustom to male company from childhood.

Of course, it's good if anal parents have anal babies. And if not? Dermal baby, nimble and quick by nature, takes the command to sit and study hard. He just needs rivalry in order to achieve leadership, and he is forced to do the job not quickly (as he wants), but qualitatively (as he is completely uncommon).

The real tragedy can be the birth of a urethral baby to anal parents. Uncontrollable, proud, he does not obey any orders and may even run away from home.

As we can see, in this situation, parents want only the best for their child, but even with the best intentions, the result is far from always optimal.

Scenario 3. When the child is sound

5% of people are born with a sound vector. Their thinking is abstract, they are introverts. They are almost constantly, as it were, closed in their thoughts and immersed in them. Sound baby thinks about the universe, about where people came from on earth, and why they live. All this is alien to parents without a sound vector, it is difficult for them to understand their child.

Sometimes parents consider such a child to be lagging behind in development. They turn to specialist psychologists or fortune-tellers. But in reality it is not so. It is not a brake at all, it just needs the right approach.

Scenario 4. Too smart parents, obsessed with education and pride

The opposite situation arises when the parents have a sound vector, but the child does not. Such parents can turn a child's life into a real hell. Such parents are often "turned" on the idea that their child was smarter than others, and make every effort to reveal the genius in him. They begin to study with him from the cradle, teaching him to read from six months. Go to school early development where children are taught 5 foreign languages ​​at the age of 3-4. Bring up classical music and other lofty matters.

Of course, they want the best, but if a child does not have a sound or at least a visual vector, then he is doomed to torment. These values ​​do not matter to him. But constant tension, forcible stuffing into it beyond the measure of knowledge, this is a real mockery of the child's psyche. A common problem in this case, the parents are intensively developing the upper vectors and their talents, completely omitting the lower vectors. In this case, we get a social maladaptive, because in childhood he never learned to rank in society.