The reason for a negative attitude towards a person. Question: What is negative attitude. The attitude of peers and people around them to a teenager

IN modern society there are many people who will say that their attitude towards smoking is sharply negative. But what this means and whether there is a positive attitude towards this habit, not everyone knows.

Where and when is negative attitudes towards smoking formed?

The attitude to smoking, as well as to other habits, is formed in children in the very early age... If from an early age they observe one or both parents smoke daily, expect that children will have negative attitude to cigarettes, you can't. No matter how parents tell their children that smoking is bad, harmful, significantly worsens health, if they continue to smoke, children simply do not perceive and do not remember their words.

Moreover, children whose parents smoke regularly try cigarettes much earlier than those whose parents lead correct image life. It is important to know that only personal example will teach the child healthy life without bad habits and will help raise a healthy generation.

In addition, even as an adult, independent person, you should take full responsibility for your health and life on yourself. Knowing all the negative effects of smoking, even the most experienced smoker with long experience can get rid of this habit on his own. This requires only very desire maintain your health and longevity, and improve the quality of life.

What are the signs of such an attitude

• It is no secret that for most of the population it is unpleasant to be near a person who smokes. A certain tobacco smell is constantly emitted from such people, which is absorbed by clothes and hair, and with regular smoking, even the skin has an unusual smell of tobacco smoke.
• When talking with smokers, you can always smell from the mouth. In a person who does not smoke and does not even tolerate the smell of cigarettes, it may be observed upon contact with a smoker headache, vomiting, shortness of breath. All this also forms a negative attitude.
• Cigarettes take the lives of many people every day different ages... At the present time this problem is very acute.

This is due to the fact that nicotine, as well as others toxic substances and heavy metals found in cigarettes have a damaging effect on internal organswhich leads to numerous diseases.

• The most common reason fires are also smoking. This statistic also leads to a negative attitude towards smoking.
• During the very first puff, the body experiences sensations such as nausea, dizziness, weakness, coughing, rapid heartbeat and others. This means that the body shows what is happening inside it at the moment when a person smokes, and expresses its negative attitude.

It is very unfair when a non-smoker with negative attitude to cigarettes is forced to regularly be exposed to nicotine. This situation leads to the fact that a person becomes a passive smoker, which also affects his health. the best way... In many countries of the world, smoking in public places is prohibited by law. Violation of this Law will result in a fine.

Compromise attitude

How to understand a person's attitude to smoking? In order to know how a person relates to this habit, it is enough to observe him while he is in the company of smokers. If his behavior becomes tense, unpleasant processes begin to occur in the body, this indicates that the attitude is negative. Often such people express obvious dissatisfaction if someone is smoking next to them.

In the case when tobacco smoke is pleasant to a person, but at the same time he himself does not suffer from addiction to nicotine, this speaks to him as neutral, compromise to smoking.

What is negative attitude

Answers:

adj., uptr. cf. often Morphology: negative, negative, negative, negative; more negative; bunk bed negative 1. Feelings, emotions, etc. are called negative if they are unpleasant, disturbing. All day I experienced continuous negative emotions. 2. An experience is called negative if it did not bring any benefit. 3. An assessment, an opinion is called negative if it is negative. negative assessment... | I have a very negative opinion of this man. | They negatively assessed the activities of the organization. | To speak negatively about a person, you must have reason. 4. If someone has a negative influence on you, it means that this influence is bad, harmful. The mother tried to protect children from negative impact streets. | outage Network outages can negatively affect the performance of your computer. negative noun, f Negative - A person will not do this, but he will be able to communicate with such people, albeit through force. Sharply negative - The person does not understand people who drink (smoke) and will not communicate with them. Compromise - The person thinks something like this: "You drink, smoke to your health, but I will not" Neutral - The person is not a supporter of drinking or smoking, but if he is offered, he will not mind. Positive - A person often smokes (drinks), and obviously for such a lifestyle

... Negative attitude to work that some team members could show in the process; 3. ... Learn to be sympathetic to each other's opinions and ideas, and perceive them as something that you all can learn in the process, and from which you can all benefit. ... In other words, work must be distributed fairly.

... They need a simple project of public relationsthat unites all those working towards the behavior of the same external audience, making sure that the attempts to organize public relations remain under close supervision. ... And if you want to be good manageryou should feel negative attitude your organization, especially evasive or half-hearted responses.

... You can make such jokes with one or two interlocutors, but not with a large audience, they will quickly understand that you are fake and will simply cool down by attitude to you, and from this further everything else will flow negative about you. ... Be correct in dealing with the authors of ideas, projects, sources of information, etc.

... Negative the side of published articles is that companies have no control over what is said, and therefore over the opinion that is formed about the product. ... Every company must realize that it is very important to establish good relations with the press. ... PR can include activities to communicate information to buyers and manage customer opinion, ...

... Stress is something that we all have to experience from time to time, but too much stress has negative consequence. ... However, this can be achieved, once you do, you will find that your salon is financially respect now works much more successfully. ... At the same time, the situation is aggravated further if you have to sit in a closed room without windows all day, through ...

... you will need to fix them because we know that negative the performance undoubtedly leads to negative behaviorwhat must be eliminated in order to facilitate your work. ... Remember that the success of your efforts to create new social relationsdepends on how well you've done collecting this audience's preferences and opinions.

... Using a similar sequence in your relationship with an external audience, you will always be aware of those negative influences that affect attitude others to your organization. ... You are in luck, because there are three main directions of the strategy, namely: create a perception (if there is none at all), change the existing perception or attitude towards you, and ...

... With an active, interesting and relaxing holiday, people get rid of negative emotions that could negatively affect their performance by conflicts, tense relations... ... Where some, transcendental relationships sometimes play more important role in building and improving relationships, which better affects the performance of employees.

... There are a huge number of factors that affect productivity, such as: the quality of the material, the skill of the people, systems and techniques, the equipment and type of tools, the knowledge of the worker, the skill in managing the workforce, but most important factor is an attitude leadership. ... The manager's ignorant behavior creates an atmosphere of mistrust and fear and, as a result, ...

- Understanding our own problems or the problems of another person, very often we are faced with the fact that a person lacks what is colloquially called "self-love." Those. some kind of internal conflict. This is also called a lack of self-acceptance. You can clarify how it is correctly called, or - if it is different concepts - What is the difference?

There is a certain category of moralists, a little far from this topic, who say: why love yourself - this is selfishness. But still, understanding it, we understand that selfishness and self-love are two different things. How, in your opinion, is the difference between self-love and selfishness?

Self-love is what is called self-acceptance. Than better man relates to himself, the better he relates to others. The more he accepts himself, the easier it is for him to accept other people, to focus on them.

And egoism is when it is just difficult for a person to focus on other people.

Unfortunately, the word "egoism" in our culture is clearly evaluative. It is believed that an egoist is a bad person. This is a very superficial judgment. A person is not selfish because he could, and doesn't want focus on others. A person can be selfish because can not reckon with others. An egoist is a psychologically exhausted person. The inner resource of such a person is so devastated that the “egoist” involuntarily focuses all efforts on supporting himself. All his consciousness is pulled inward, directed egocentrically.

Self-love helps to improve relationships with others, and selfishness is the absence of such relationships.

- Is an inferiority complex also a direct consequence of self-dislike?

Here it is necessary to agree on the terms. An inferiority complex is not at all an idea of \u200b\u200bone's own disabilities... We see a lot of people who are very modest in assessing their capabilities, but at the same time do not give the impression of being notorious. A person who says: “I suffer so much from my disorganization!” Or “In my life I can't learn how to drive a car like that!” Does not seem to be any problem at all. On the contrary, it looks attractive.

What is an inferiority complex? This idea of \u200b\u200ba person is not about his merits or demerits, but about what he deserves by virtue of them, what he can expect for his achievements or failures. An "inferiority complex" means that a person expects (usually unaccountably) value relationship to yourself. Did, achieved - you are good, well done. I didn't, I was wrong - bad. A person with an inferiority complex is afraid of his shortcomings, is afraid to admit them (even to himself), because he feels that it will be right to condemn, ridicule, not count, not include in lists, omit - in general, ostracize him in any form.

An inferiority complex is negative self-acceptance.

- What is the reason for dislike for yourself?

I would say there are two reasons for not loving yourself. The first - both in importance and in chronology - is the one that develops in childhood, when there is not and cannot be any love or dislike for oneself. This is the love or dislike of the parents for the child.

In fact, all mentally sound parents love children. But the child's love or dislike of himself is not influenced by our parental inner spiritual kitchen, which is not visible to anyone, not by our deepest feelings. Self-acceptance of the child is affected by the fact that the parents are "on the way out." And when a child sees that they are scolding him, they are unhappy with him, they do not sympathize with him, he inevitably takes it all at his own expense. He gets the feeling that he deserves it all. This is negative self-acceptance. You and I understand that we love the child, that is why we worry about him. But at this moment he does not see it. Let us remember ourselves as children: when we were scolded, when we were dissatisfied, we felt that they did not love us, and - most importantly - they did not love us rightly.

At a conscious level, a child can take offense, snap back, laugh off, but on a deeper, unaccountable level, he quickly gets used to the fact that he and his experiences do not deserve real acceptance.

This first reason for low self-acceptance, the source of self-dislike persists and works for us for life, because a person at any age remains a child of his parent. Even when the parents are no longer in the world.

Beginning with adolescence (from the transitional), a second source is added, which powerfully influences our self-acceptance. The psyche is so arranged that people treat others and themselves in the same way. At the dawn of life, when a baby does not yet differ from a baby animal (kitten, puppy, monkey), in his psyche there is still no “I” and an attitude towards himself, but there is only “they”, those around him, and an attitude towards them. Attitudes towards others with a minus or plus sign are formed according to an obvious simple mechanism. “Good” individuals are those who are disposed to me, do me well, feed me, stroke me, comfort me, take me in their arms, give me a shiny and tasty treat to which I am drawn.

It is clear to which individuals an attitude with a minus sign develops.

Later, as the "I" is formed, it is evaluated by our psyche exactly according to the same criteria. We love or dislike ourselves for exactly the same thing for which we love or dislike those around us - for our social face, our social image. And when this image is similar to the image that I already condemn, “I” is also condemned by my psyche, it is regarded with a minus sign.

- What is a social image?

A social image is what I am in relation to people. How friendly or indifferent I am, tolerant or critical.

Since I am perceived with a plus sign only those people who are benevolent, sympathetic, tolerant towards me, and not critical and edifying, then I myself am perceived with a plus sign by my psyche only if I manifest myself in the same way. If I manifest myself negatively, critically, edifying, protesting - whatever the reasons, no matter how logical I am in my edification, autoimmune aggression, rejection of oneself inevitably develops. When someone yells at me, when someone scolds me, punishes, deprives, ridicules me, my psyche does not understand whether he is right or not, she instantly rejects him: I don’t want it, I don’t love this person. And the psyche acts in the same way with me.

At the same time, those around them can treat my aggression quite accepting, even sympathetically, realizing that I am not bad, but I feel bad. But it won't save me. A person who yells at others does not love himself, even if those around him reacted to it with understanding and acceptance.

- Now there are many trainings to improve self-esteem. How is increasing self-esteem different from increasing self-acceptance?

In general, this is a question of terminology. I don't know all the trainings in the world, maybe some of them are consonant with what we are talking about, but most of the trainings I know to improve self-esteem are purely technical in nature. Those. they aim to develop in a person a positive idea of \u200b\u200btheir capabilities. Stand in front of the mirror and say: “I can, I can, I can ... I am successful. I'm confident in myself. I will definitely succeed. " In my opinion, these are superficial technical efforts that do not deeply and permanently change our true self-confidence, our stability, our self-acceptance.

- Is self-rejection necessarily associated with low self-esteem? Those. Does low self-acceptance lead to low self-esteem?

Then it is necessary to give definitions - what we call self-esteem, and what - self-acceptance. For me, the following terminology is familiar: self-esteem is a person's idea of \u200b\u200bhis merits and demerits; about what I can / cannot, about what I can count on, what I cannot. Self-acceptance is not about my strengths and weaknesses, but about what I deserve for them.

We can talk about such an alternative: positive and negative self-acceptance. Similar to high and low self-esteem. Negative self-acceptance is the feeling that I deserve to be judged and punished for my wrongdoing. Positive self-acceptance is the feeling that I deserve sympathy due to exactly the same offenses and shortcomings.

- So, I have the right to conclude that our self-esteem does not depend on self-acceptance either, and a person with low self-acceptance can have a very high self-esteem.

Yes, in this terminology, according to these definitions - yes, of course. A person can be sure that he is a genius chess player and world champion, and at the same time suffer from self-dislike.

- And now, if we move on to how it is actually possible to solve the problem of self-acceptance, self-love. We talked about this with by different peopleand there are two conceptually different approaches... One approach is to accept yourself no matter what. And the second approach is to understand: what you do not accept yourself for, and change this in yourself.

Can you accept yourself while remaining a villain? Let's say you're not very good good man... Will you be able to accept yourself despite this? Is it theoretically possible? Or do you need to change, become better, and then you can fully accept yourself?

The answer follows from the above. Positive self-acceptance is principled attitude to my shortcomings as something that I did not choose for myself, for which I am not to blame. This is my problem, my problem, but not my fault.

- Are there such qualities with which you can never fully accept yourself?

- Now the most main question: what do you need to do to accept yourself? What can a person do?

The clue lies in understanding the history of the problem. So we said that there are two main reasons, two factors that affect our self-acceptance - this is the relationship with our parents and our socialization. It is in these two places that it is necessary to treat.

The first question is: when, in what case, should it be treated? When a person notices that something does not suit him strongly: his inner plan, his state, mood, his relationship with people and with life; when he notices that he is overly irritable or overly confident, or very often changes sexual partners, or mechanically engaged in an unloved business. In general, when some such important things in life do not suit you.

- Is the feeling of guilt also one of the signs of negative self-acceptance?

Yes. But guilt is an obvious indicator. But the rest of the indicators that I have listed, they are not often perceived as an indication that something is wrong with me. When a person does not like his job, or a husband, wife, or something else, he is very tempted to look for problems outside. Instead, it is worthwhile to understand that some of our own internal difficulties that we are afraid to recognize in ourselves and therefore cannot cope with have led to these specific everyday troubles. This fear is called low self-acceptance. It is necessary to increase self-acceptance in the two most important areas that we have described.

- How to treat relationships with parents?

This has already been covered in detail in our conversation "Adopt Parents", but it can be repeated in a condensed form. The logic is as follows: self-doubt, fear of responsibility, fear that I will be caught, that they will scold me, that I will be ridiculed - it lasts with us since childhood, like any fear. The life experience that in childhood formed this fear in us turns out to be a most regrettable misunderstanding. When the child's parents scolded, the child naturally believed that this is how relationships work, this is how life works. If I was late, if I broke something, lied, got a deuce - of course I will be scolded. How could it be otherwise?

Can! This is easy to understand by imagining that if our parents at the same moment - with the same offense, with the same deuce, with the same broken cup, would simply be in much good mood, they would obviously have reacted to the same episode in a much more good-natured, tolerant way.

So, it turns out, all parental negativity, all parental edification, criticism from which we suffered in childhood were a manifestation of only their condition, not our guilt, not their attitude towards us, not how relations between people are generally arranged.

Now, if you really take this into your head, if you really understand about your parents that it turns out that it was bad for them, and not they are bad, and we are not bad, then self-acceptance increases powerfully. Parental negativity ceases to be taken by our psyche at its own expense.

To truly understand this about your parents is to practice this understanding actively, not just mentally. We need to behave towards them in the same way as we behave towards people whose discomfort is obvious to us, who are very ill, who have it "written on their face." How do we behave towards such people? We begin to support them, console them, take care of them, and participate in their circumstances. This whole complex of measures should be directed at parents. In psychology, this is called "adopting parents." If you do this - for a long time, there is no need to build illusions - self-acceptance increases greatly.

- Thank. What about the second factor - your social image?

Here the measure of our benevolence in everyday life is important - how benevolent and sympathetic I am towards others. It must be remembered that only those of our manifestations that are difficult are counted as such benevolence by our psyche. When we are benevolent in response to another person's benevolence, that is barter. It is very easy, so it doesn’t tone our psyche. And it tones up when we take out the neighbor's garbage, for example, from the staircase, although the neighbor defiantly puts it there and does not think what will happen next; when we are sincerely kind to someone who speaks to us dryly, "over the shoulder."

What can one rely on internally so as not to feel like some kind of fawning, “bending over”? A correct understanding of the causes of this dryness, this disdain. This is only a manifestation of our partners' self-doubt, this is their fear of bending over, fear of appearing weak.

If you yourself are afraid to seem weak and you yourself are afraid to bend, and you are so traumatized by these manifestations of your neighbor that you are unable to answer them asymmetrically, you have the right to your weaknesses, you have the right to your indifference. But just do not expect then that your psyche will be in good shape.

- It turns out that it will not come out to love yourself, sitting on the couch, through mental efforts. Actions are needed - actions are needed in relation to parents, and long enough, and in relation to other people.

Quite right. The structure of the psyche is determined by the structure of activity.

- Many people suffering from insufficient self-acceptance, consciously or unconsciously hope that the love of a person, or maybe the attention of a group of people will help them to relate better to themselves. Someone goes into show business in order to be loved by everyone. And someone is looking for one person of the opposite sex, hoping that it is his love that will overpower everything - all this childhood is difficult - and so I can love myself. How justified are these hopes?

Yes, these are very common hopes, but, unfortunately, they are completely illusory. A person loves or does not love above all myself in relationships with others. I repeat: if he is not sympathetic enough, then no participation in him on the part of those around him will lift him up.

- Here a person hopes that the high assessment of others will help him. He is seeking great success in some business, and everyone respects him for this success. He still remains with his problems, right?

You can say yes, but it will be a little sketchy answer. Because if a person achieves some kind of success that has a public resonance, it means that this activity has some meaningful part - he did something that is important and good for people. And from this, his self-acceptance will naturally increase.

And the pleasure of other people's praise is a drug. It makes you feel good, but only for a while, and then you need a new dose, even greater.

- But what about the partner of a person who dislikes himself? Someone either fell in love with such a person, or already started a family with him, and realized that such a problem for the second person is a lack of self-acceptance. Can he help him somehow, besides advice?

Yes. Tips are the last to help. And first of all, this is what. Lowered self-acceptance is a habitual expectation that if I honestly tell you everything - how I "got it wrong" today, how I was late somewhere, let someone down, lost the keys to the apartment, spent half a night on the Internet ... - in general, if I honestly talk about my cons, then, of course, you will judge me, at least silently.

Self-acceptance of such a person increases only through the formation of a new life experiencewhen he is faced with the fact that in response to all these confessions he is not condemned.

- Ie give him the acceptance that his parents did not give him.

Quite right. And for this we need to remember that the alternative to condemnation is sympathy, when a person can tell everything about himself and meet only sincere empathy: “I understand how sick you are from this”, “I understand how nervous you were”, “I can imagine how scared you were "...

Teenagers and their negative attitude towards people around them appears on various reasons... It could be parenting, a lack material goods, behavior of peers or adults. The grown-up child perceives all these elements of relations with the surrounding society in his own way. Sometimes he tries to build correct communication at the expense of their upbringing, but this cannot be done. What are the most probable reasons and how to prevent the emergence of a negative attitude of a teenager towards the people around him?

Upbringing and family relationships

The weakest unit of society is still disadvantaged families. Their number is constantly growing, so the appearance of adolescents and their negative attitude towards the people around them cannot be completely avoided. Unfortunately, not all parents are capable of giving their child an excellent upbringing. Some do not even try to do this, considering the teenager to be an adult, formed personality. Of course, he has his own opinion, nevertheless, children always remain children and require maximum attention and, moreover, support.

Moreover, we must never forget that difficult relationship in the family are the first reason for the appearance of a negative attitude towards others. The teenager experiences all the scandals of his parents more acutely than they think. Perhaps he does not manifest his emotional experience in any way, remaining calm and calm. In fact, at the same time, resentment is hidden in his heart, since the child wants to be a part healthy family, and not become witnesses of abuse and squabbling.

True, the appearance of a negative attitude on the part of a teenager in this case is much easier to fix. Parents must show him their love, thereby proving that the family still remains complete. Even with the danger of divorce, the child should not face misunderstanding or bad attitude, because he is not guilty of anything.

The attitude of peers and people around them to a teenager

Not rare unpleasant situationswhen the attitude towards a person is based on his material security. Because of this, the teenager begins to build up a negative attitude towards the people around him. They do not understand him, thinking about a bad financial situation as a sign of bad manners or bad knowledge.

Firstly similar situations are formed when a teenager communicates with peers. Often shortage money parents become a serious obstacle even in the friendship of young people. The child does not receive expensive clothing or cell phone, as a result of which it becomes the object of ridicule from the other children. It is not difficult to correct the situation, such a negative attitude is corrected only with an open conversation with the parents. They must show that they are trying with all their might to fix financial situation, but point to positive features adolescent, for example, mind.

The situation is more complicated when the negative attitude of adolescents appears due to wrong attitude on the part of adults. Sometimes it happens in educational institutionswhere teachers are terrible at the psychological side of their work. They stop remembering the soul of every child, so they express their opinions, which can cause disagreements. It is possible to correct such cases only by identifying the reasons for the appearance of such an attitude. The adult himself must correct communication with the teenager in order to restore peace of mind child.