How to raise a daughter Raising a girl in a family: how to raise a happy daughter. Right to an opinion

13.04.2019

How to properly raise a girl? How to teach her to be and be able to be happy in any life circumstances? How to teach her to respect and appreciate others, not allowing herself to be humiliated and not appreciated?
These seven tips will help you in this difficult and important matter!

So, 7 rules for raising a girl:

Rule one: Beauty
Doubt in your external attractiveness- a heavy cross for a girl. Whatever external data nature has awarded your daughter, you must from the very tender age educate her in the belief that she is a beauty. Highlight your merits. Do not laugh at her shortcomings: fullness, freckles, snub nose - all this unique features her personal charm.
Encourage you to work on your appearance. Hair care, skin cleansing, masks - the sooner you develop the skill of reasonable attention to appearance, the better.

Rule two: The one they love
A generation of women raised by super-demanding parents cannot shake the idea that love must be earned. Hence the excessive diligence, the complex of the victim and the inability to simply realize oneself loved.
Deprived in childhood of obvious manifestations of parental affection, the girl will fly to the first light of the light that seems to her love. Consequently, she can become the prey of any rogue who is not too lazy to stroke her head and say a couple of gentle words.

Rule three: prudent
The woman is the keeper of life. Teach your daughter safety rules. Teach her to understand people and situations. Do not intimidate, but warn against being too gullible. Let her learn to avoid everything that threatens life, health, reputation.

Rule four: Guardian angel
If a woman does not know how to take care of loved ones, then this is not a woman. Teach the girl to notice someone else's pain. Let her do her best to help the weak and the sick. Do not be afraid to pull up if your daughter makes fun of someone's shortcomings. Girls can be cruel, and more so than boys.
Let your child take care of their loved ones. In particular, about you, the only and irreplaceable mother. Let clumsily, but sincerely. Be grateful and show it.
AND - difficult task! - try to educate the girl so that she does not direct her mercy to unworthy people. The balance of mercy and prudence is the recipe for true femininity.

Rule five: Little housewife
It is not difficult to instill in a girl the skills of washing and cleaning, cooking and sewing. It is much more difficult to teach a young creature to take care of the house without complaints and anguish. Teach Your Daughter Rational Leading Techniques household. Let her manage the house easily and habitually - and if the task is difficult, let her not hesitate to involve everyone who is able to help her in its implementation.

Rule six: Active and optimistic
Don't shackle your daughter's initiatives. Let her try herself as a leader. Celebrate her successes. IN modern world women are rapidly moving into leading roles. The ability not to be peremptory, the ability to listen to the opinions of others, to adapt to the team - all this she will really need.

Rule seven: Individuality
To identify and develop individuality in a child is perhaps the most difficult thing. Contribute to the development of the child's personality - but do not try to break his personality. Support the positive that is clearly and steadily manifesting in your child.

A modern woman has many roles that we do not always manage to harmoniously combine. Therefore, when a girl is born in a family, it can be difficult to figure out in which direction to educate her. Parents want their baby to be successful in life, find her calling, and also be able to realize herself as a mother and wife. And along the way, we risk making many mistakes that will hinder her in adulthood.

A special role in the upbringing of a daughter lies with the mother, who lays down the guidelines for what a woman should be. Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky gives 10 tips to mothers and grandmothers, warning them against common mistakes that could ruin their daughters' lives.

The most serious mistake that many mothers and grandmothers make when raising a daughter and, accordingly, a granddaughter, is programming her for a certain mandatory set skills and qualities that she must possess. "You must be nice", "You must be accommodating", "You must like", "You must learn to cook", "You must..."

There is nothing wrong with the ability to cook, but the girl develops a flawed mindset: you will have value only if you meet a set of criteria. It will work much more effectively and without trauma for the psyche personal example: let's cook delicious soup together. Let's get home together. Let's choose your hairstyle together. Seeing how mom does something and enjoys it, the daughter will want to learn this. And vice versa, if a mother hates some business, then no matter how much she repeats that this needs to be learned, the girl will have a subconscious rejection of the process. But in fact, everything that is needed, the girl will still learn sooner or later. When she needs it herself.

The second mistake that is often found in raising daughters is the heavy, judgmental attitude towards men and sex that is transmitted to her by her mother. “They all need one thing”, “Look, he will swear and leave”, “The main thing is not to bring it in the hem”, “You should be inaccessible.” As a result, the girl grows up with the feeling that men are aggressors and rapists, that sex is something dirty and bad that should be avoided. At the same time, her body will begin to send signals to her with age, hormones will begin to rage, and this internal contradiction between the prohibition coming from the mother and the desire coming from the inside is also very traumatic.

The third mistake, which surprisingly contrasts with the second, is that closer to the age of 20, the girl is told that her formula for happiness consists of "get married and give birth." And ideally - up to 25 years, otherwise it will be too late. Think about it: at first, in childhood, she was told that she should (list) in order to get married and become a mother, then for several years she was broadcast the idea that men are goats, and sex is dirt, and here again: get married and give birth. It is paradoxical, but often it is precisely such contradictory attitudes that mothers voice to their daughters. The result is a fear of relationships as such. And the risk of losing yourself, losing touch with your desires and realizing what the girl really wants is seriously increasing.

The fourth mistake is overprotection. Now this is a big problem, mothers are increasingly tying their daughters to themselves and surrounded by so many prohibitions that it becomes scary. Don’t go for a walk, don’t be friends with these, call me every half an hour, where you are, why you were late for 3 minutes. Girls are not given any freedom, they are not given the right to make decisions, because these decisions may turn out to be erroneous. But it normal! At 14-16 years old normal teenager there is a process of separation, he wants to decide everything himself, and (with the exception of issues of life and health) he needs to be given such an opportunity. Because if a girl grows up under her mother's heel, she will establish herself in the idea that she is a second-class creature, incapable of an autonomous existence, and other people will always decide everything for her.

The fifth mistake is the formation of a negative image of the father. It does not matter whether the father is present in the family or the mother raises the child without his participation, it is unacceptable to turn the father into a demon. You can not tell the child that his shortcomings are a bad heredity on the paternal side. It is impossible to denigrate the father, whatever he may be. If he really was a "goat", then the mother should also recognize her share of responsibility for the fact that she chose this particular person as the father of her child. It was a mistake, so the parents broke up, but the responsibility for the one who took part in the conception cannot be outweighed by the girl. She's definitely not at fault here.

Kingdom of Scotland independent state northern Europe, which existed from 854 to 1707. Its borders changed throughout history, but eventually it came to occupy the northern part of the island of Great Britain and shared a common border with the Kingdom of England.

I will make separate topics about Mary Stuart and Braveheart.

441

Kuznetsova Maria

Good day to anyone interested in our short story competition. It's Monday, it's time to start new life, but first we will find out the results of the competition that took place last week.
From 15 competitive stories, you chose the best ones and here they are, the winners. There are many of them today.
Bronze goes to the story “People can’t always be around…”, it was written by Some people are such fools, and 32 people voted for it
In second place with a score of 38 votes today we have Yuka and her story "For those who remember". Also 38 votes won the Lizard, her story "Almost Robinson", and she is also in second place.
And Arsalana won today. The 56 votes cast for her short story "A Day in the Life of Mars" speak for themselves.
Hooray for Arsalana, cheers for all the winners, writers and readers.
Now I'll lay it all out and declassify.

440

Tatyana Timofeeva

Today I received a remark from a close, as I used to think, friend. For neatly sewn thermal patches on the knees of the jumpsuit. In the form of figures of animals from cartoons (I buy it on purpose, because holes are rubbed on my knees all the time, even on Reim).
And it turns out, such patches are fuuuu. And you have to immediately go and buy a new jumpsuit. I said that I have home clothes in children it is also sewn up, it happens that with small spots that are poorly washed, mainly from all sorts of juices dark colors. This is also fuuuu! children, as a friend said, from infancy should be taught to be neat and that clothes are always intact! Not sewn and not patched! This forms the worldview of a rich person, and patches and seams - the consciousness of a rogue in a child grows from childhood.
She also asked this: I suppose you also sew up tights on your heels? I was confused and answered that yes, I sew up on the heels and on the socks. A friend said sadly: you see. Don't let your kids get rich. From childhood, you prepare them for the fact that they will walk in rags all their lives.
And I really sew tights and socks! Truth be told, I can't screw up.
Do you sew up baby clothes or throw them away right away? Are you trying to wash the stains, bleach or do something else with them, or is it also immediately discarded?
Something about this entry from above directly upset me. I never thought that I was raising rogues. I really don't want to talk to my girlfriend after this.

292

Sofiko Sofiko

Good day everyone!

I decided again to create a photo theme, I hope it will turn out with illustrations and informative

In late October - early November, my husband and child took the risk of fulfilling my old dream: to go to Murmansk and capture some of the surroundings. There was a very limited amount of time, but the trip left a very vivid impressions and emotions.

So I'm starting...

Past photo and informative topics:

Belarus, photo guessing game

Cherepovets

City photo guessing game

Murom

wedding bouquets

The Pokrovsky Gate

Town

Bella Akhmadulina

236

Maria Sukhova

Good day! Need advice. Now the family (mother with a child and a grandmother) lives in a three-room apartment of 65 sq.m, of which there are 9 kitchens and 3 rooms (10, 12 and 21 sq.m). At the same time, there are no normal walls for placing cabinets and there is no dark one. With a separate bathroom, the washing machine did not fit there (it also had to be installed in the kitchen)! In short, everything is very inconvenient for life. In the kitchen, everyone bangs their butts, access to the refrigerator is inconvenient, the kitchen has the shape of a hexagon and it was not possible to organize the space differently. And if 1-2 people come to visit, then there is a guard in the kitchen. At the same time, there is a lot of space in the living room (it is far from the kitchen) that is not used at all. And yet, the grandmother lives at home for only six months (the rest - in the country). I like the area, there are no travel treshkas, or rather there is not enough money. Now the grandmother lives in a room of 10 sq.m, a mother with a baby in 13 sq.m. The child will grow up and become very uncomfortable ...
There is an alternative - eurotreshka. Kitchen-living room 17 sq.m., 2 bedrooms (10 and 12 sq.m.), a good corridor (you can place a huge closet in the entire wall). Well, a separate bathroom is more adequate (the washing machine can definitely be placed and an additional closet can be made in the entire wall behind the toilet). The total area will be 55 sq.m. It is 10 sq.m less, but the Euro-three is somehow more rational for life. Place a grandmother in a bedroom of 10 sq.m, place a mother with a one-year-old in 12 sq.m (there is also a loggia of 3.5 sq.m, all in glass). Well, the gathering place for everyone is a large kitchen.
The first question is, what are the disadvantages, in your opinion, of such a three-ruble note? It's for this family.
And the second question, is it profitable to pay for heat meters? There is a heat meter in Eurotreshka, but the calibration period has expired. Is it worth doing verification (6 thousand rubles) or is it more profitable to pay according to the average standard? How are your heat meters?

166

No ... what a feijoa ...

Good day. They offer me a job here. To sit with the child of a girl with whom she is familiar with a hat. The boy is 2.5 years old. You will not need to sit every day, but only for a few hours during the illness, until the baby’s grandmother or mother comes from work. In principle, the matter is simple, I love children. But. Confuses me two things. The schedule is fuzzy, that is, it may turn out that I plan something for tomorrow, and in the evening they call me and say that I need to sit. Well, payment. 100 rubles per hour. We are not far from Moscow, but in my opinion, this is not enough even for us. You will most likely need to sit on their territory. Would you agree to such a "job"?

157

The end result of any educational process is for your child to grow up with right principles and concepts. The main task any parent from the very early childhood it will be that the girl has the necessary worldly wisdom, which we often lack. Another facet of responsible and proper upbringing will be that the daughter has the right life priorities.

Mom as a role model

What can serve as the most important role model for your daughter? Of course, your personal example. Psychologists have long proven that no words will help if they are not backed up. certain actions, which clearly reflect what an adult said. That is why it is extremely important to prevent the presence of all kinds of conflicts in your family, because you should take into account the fact that respectful attitude father to mother will be the key to successful personal life daughter, her balanced psyche.

This is also extremely important for the reason that a girl, having understood for herself the simple fact that there are certain contradictions between parents or grandparents, can simply play on this, alternately taking the side that is beneficial in this moment.

In our difficult and conflicted time, when a lot depends on a woman, girls have to learn to survive on a par with men in the stormy ocean of a wide variety of problems. However, you should not forget that future girl must necessarily preserve in herself all the necessary feminine virtues that should adorn any representative of the fair sex, because femininity does not make a woman weak, she adds sweet charm and additional attractiveness in the eyes of most others, it is extremely important not to forget about this.

It is also very important that the mother from the very early years by her own example, whenever possible, she attracted her daughter to what she could physical labor, because the girl is simply obliged to form the need to become a good housewife in the future, ready to provide her husband with the necessary coziness and comfort.

Mom should become a kind and caring mentor of her daughter in matters of sexual development, and also, as she grows older, of interest in opposite sex. The main thing is that all information is provided in a dosed manner, and the girl does not have an unhealthy interest in young men earlier than expected, since the youth environment tends to coarsen many quite normal things. You need to become an excellent friend and adviser for your child, which will allow you to avoid huge amount unnecessary mistakes that lie in wait for us in adolescence.

Your child should have developed a strong aversion to the majority bad habits, because the idea should work in the mind that such harmful needs can lead to the most unexpected and bad consequences for Your health.

The child should not be afraid of his physiology, since all this is quite acceptable, and an overly puritanical upbringing can lead to the most unexpected consequences.

Another point of view

In the upbringing of the daughter, of course, the mother takes the most part, but the presence male opinion allows you to see the situation different parties, better define bad and the good side any phenomenon. In education, grandparents are also important - their life experience and worldly wisdom will help to approach various events from a different point of view. This is especially important in adolescence, when the child is trying to get out of control and get as much freedom and independence as possible.

Your task will still remain, despite the constant employment - to know what your child breathes, about his inclinations and interests. It is important to understand what the soul of your daughter is, to see the best that is in her at the moment. Some children believe that if dad raised me for an hour, then he will simply leave me alone - the educational effect of such events will be clearly extremely small and insignificant.

In education, it is very important not to go too far, so that moralizing does not become a constant and unpleasant end or beginning of the day for the daughter.
Need to direct the child in the right direction so that he can fully feel his rightness, or its complete absence.
TO it is extremely important to force the child to think about the expediency of his actions, to take responsibility for them, not to tie hands and feet with hyperprotection.
The best parenting option is when your baby will pass through difficulties, and then he will thank you for correctly and unobtrusively inspired ideas about family values.
It is also important that to some manifestations of human actions you must show a pronounced negative attitude- to drunkenness, theft and drug addiction.
An atmosphere should be established between the daughter and her parents mutual trust, only thanks to this can we count on achieving any serious educational effect.

Most of the great teachers always say and have said that the right upbringing is based on their own correct perception of the world around them. Only then will your daughter be able to borrow something valuable and important. The process of raising a daughter is painstaking, requiring daily dedication and the most careful and attentive attitude. This process should involve older generation, because it can help with its vast experience and wisdom, which you just need to listen to in the most difficult life situations.

Daughter upbringing by dad

Proper upbringing daughter's father will help her in the future to correctly prioritize all priorities in life. After all, the father suggests precisely those things that, for one reason or another, the mother can keep silent.

The interaction of a girl with her father is an extremely important component of the daughter’s further personal life, because the father can form in the girl how right attitude to men, and purely negative - and this can lead to the fact that in the future the girl will not be able to build complete family, properly educate their children.

It is extremely important for any girl that her self-esteem should not be underestimated - the father should emphasize her beauty and extraordinary spiritual qualities, the child should feel its uniqueness and individuality, significance in the eyes of parents.

Parents perform different social functions in the family - but only the fusion of the efforts of both parents can lead to harmonious combination in a child, both femininity and business qualities, the ability to take a sensible look at this or that situation, in the future to contribute to the creation of a wonderful family by the daughter, where relations are quite harmonious and healthy. Psychologists for the most part agree that girls, as a rule, choose a man who is very similar to their father as their chosen one. wise mother always prefer for more successful upbringing daughters support the father's position, and the father will support his wife. Only in this case is the result that the parents want to achieve possible.

It can be argued that the role of parents is not to bring up a sea of unnecessary and harmful complexes in their daughter, to support the development of her talents. At the same time, one should avoid the other extreme - excessive licentiousness and selfishness. A good help in this is a pet, caring for which the child brings up the need to take care of someone, does not focus only on himself. Therefore, it is important for parents to inspire that it is extremely important to treat everyone around with attention. The main thing is to avoid gross intervention in inner world daughter, so that she does not withdraw into herself, and even more so does not contact bad friends.Proper upbringing of a daughter is a complex and thorny process, parents will spend a lot of time, but if they wish, they will be able to get an exceptionally excellent result.

Over time, not only the reality around us changes, but also we ourselves. Modern woman it is not appropriate today to be modest and soft, feminine and kind. Today, a woman should have business qualities not only at work, but also in life. After all, she entered into competition with men, and as you know, to live with wolves is to howl like a wolf. Today, the law of the survival of the strongest species is relevant not only for the animal world, but also among people, both among men and women.

Women strive to make a career for themselves, to be as less dependent on men as possible, and they expect the same from their children. Hence the question - how to leave in the daughter that femininity that I would still like to see in a female person, but also develop in her a sense of independence so that she can fend for herself in life?

First you need to decide on your personal priorities, that is, how you yourself would like to see your daughter, because how you raise her is how she will treat you in the future. Many believe that femininity is a manifestation of weakness, the development in a woman of a sense of a slave (a weak-willed homebody or addition to her husband). However, this is not so, to be feminine means to be able to diligently manage the household, to be able to be an affectionate, soft and caring wife.

These are the most basic qualities that you must lay in a girl from childhood in order to instill love in them. But at the same time, it is necessary to simultaneously develop in it a feeling dignity to in right moment she has always been able to take care of herself. If you can teach her to understand people - it will be for her indispensable assistant in future.

How to instill in a child all these necessary qualities and raise a daughter right? Just by example. The child imitates adults from an early age, which allows him to learn to walk, talk and act one way or another. So teach your daughter a lesson by your own example, how to behave with men (with dad), with guests and in general with the housework. You shouldn't allow yourself once again be lazy, because the child will immediately grab it. Help others, be friendly, do not remain indifferent and weak-willed.

Except loved ones per child a huge impact provide books. Remember yourself how you always wanted to be the heroine of one of them, so that the same events would happen to you. The same thing happens with behavior. So do not shelve her acquaintance with books. IN early age it is not so difficult, but with the onset adolescence it will be more and more difficult to do so. Keep in mind that in contemporary literature it is not love that comes to the fore high feelings but desire and lust, base passions and carnal pleasures. If you let everything take its course, then your daughter will take an example from such works, so we advise you to carefully monitor the development of the girl and help her with the choice of literature.

You can instill certain qualities in her by talking about your own friends and acquaintances. In such situations, you need to note those traits that you value and that you would not like to notice in people in your circle. This will also benefit your child.

Sometimes you will be able to notice in your daughter deviations in demeanor. It happens, it is inevitable for people who move in society. Most often, she can peep this behavior from her friend's parents in another house. So if this behavior is unacceptable for you, do not categorically forbid her to communicate with this friend (after all, as you know, the forbidden fruit is sweet, she will be drawn to this even more), but just let her know that such behavior in your house is unacceptable, and you shouldn't behave like that. That is also why you should always be interested in your daughter's environment, what is happening in her life.

Already in the earliest childhood (at four or five years old), you can easily begin to instill in your daughter a love for cleaning, housekeeping. You can trust her with simple things like dusting or hanging clothes on the dryer for a start, but do all the household chores together so that she loves to do this from an early age. Focus her attention on the fact that a clean house not only makes life more fun, but also breathes easily.

If your daughter does not communicate with other children very often, and you want to develop kindness in her, then you need to simulate situations artificially. It is good if there are children in the family younger than her. If not, then you can use your skills on dolls, in extreme cases on yourself, on adults - ask her to complete simple tasks, and in no case forget to praise so that she does not lose her incentive.

To bring up femininity in a girl, you can often take her shopping with you. At the same time, explain why you chose this or that thing, explain how the colors are combined with each other, instill in her a taste for feminine clothes.

In addition to you, the father of the girl should also be a worthy example for education. Let him let her know that she real lady, buying flowers for her, like you, gallantly opening doors for her, helping to put on a coat, because it is by the example of her father that she will choose her life partner in the future.

Typical mistakes in raising girls:

When parents really want a boy, they begin to educate the born girl in the same spirit. By doing this, you spoil the life of the child, because in the future she will have problems with personal relationships.

When a girl is constantly forbidden to communicate with boys, her life passes, and the girl develops more and more complexes, and all because you want her to first get a higher education, then something else and something else.

Often parents instill an aversion to household chores because they force their children to do it. Do not force, ask her to help you.

You should not indulge all the requirements of the girl, otherwise you risk getting an egoist who will demand everything from others, and not just from you.

Remember that you should not go against the will of the child if she is not vaccinated certain qualities that you would like to see her. There is nothing wrong if it contains such qualities as perseverance, leadership, because it was nature that laid them in it, so perhaps nature has special plans for it?